Post by sinisterminister on Dec 1, 2016 20:04:02 GMT -5
American Tommy is seen sitting in the coach section of an airplane. He's sitting middle row between a fat, bearded white man and an ugly, old woman crocheting a sweater for her grandchild that he will probably never wear. American Tommy is not amused with either one of these people and begins to make his feelings heard. He pulls out his wand and sticks it in the face of the fat man.
American Tommy: "God damn you are a fat muggle. How many turkeys did you eat on Thanksgiving?"
The man stares at American Tommy and simply shakes his head while American Tommy raises the palms of his hand waiting for an answer.
Man: "My family and I, which is quite large, ate two turkeys, young man."
American Tommy dismisses what the man said and interjects.
American Tommy: "All that fat must be blocking your eardrums, muggle. I said how many did YOU eat. As in, all by yourself? Was your beverage of choice on thanksgiving a glass full of gravy? Also, your family can't be any larger than you. Every time we hit a bit of turbulence your fat jiggles up against my elbows. I bet you're hiding some illegal immigrants somewhere in those rolls you call a stomach."
The man's face turns red as he grabs American Tommy by the collar of his shirt. American Tommy takes the handle of his wand and hits the man in the forehead with it causing the man to loosen his grip and American Tommy wiggles away. The old lady stares at them and starts fussing.
Old lady: "Well, Lord Jesus! You two made me miss a stitch. Now I have to unwind a bit and start again. Will you two just sit still."
American Tommy: "Pipe down, lady. Nobody was talking to you. Mind your own fucking business and have some manners when you talk to Harry Potter! Jesus ain't going to save you now just like he didn't save me from Lord Voldemort. You know who saved the wizard world? Not Jesus. Me! Me! Me! Praise me!"
The entire plane is looking at the three of them and the old lady starts ringing the buzzer trying to get a flight attendant's attention. The flight attendant comes with the beverage cart in tow. She looks at the old man who is holding his forehead and the old lady who is flustered. She looks at American Tommy who has his feet pressed up against the seat in front of him, shaking it.
Flight Attendant: "You need to put your feet down, sir."
American Tommy looks at the attendant and dismisses her. He grabs some nuts and starts dropping them in the hair of the old lady in front of him. She doesn't feel a thing.
American Tommy: "You ever had sex with a wizard?"
American Tommy looks at the flight attendant and winks at her.
American Tommy: "Look, it looks like something shit in this lady's hair. HEY LADY! You got lice or something. you should get that checked."
The flight attendant starts to get irritated with American Tommy who has absolutely no care in the world.
Flight Attendant: "We are going to have to ask you to calm down, sir."
American Tommy stands up and looks at the old lady.
American Tommy: "You need to knit a scarf for this lady because she is cold hearted. I'm sitting here doing absolutely nothing wrong and I'm getting told I need to calm down! This is discrimination!"
Man: "You don't even know what that word means."
American Tommy hits the man over the head with his wand again and points at him.
American Tommy: "I know you need to shut the fuck up, Moby Dick!"
Flight Attendant: "You need to sit down in your seat."
American Tommy: "Don't you worry about me. My buddy in 1st class bought two seats so nobody would sit next to him. I'm going to go and sit up there while everybody is cramped like sardines back here in Muggle Class!"
American Tommy walks by the flight attendant who is yelling at him to sit back down and walks up into first class. He walks in and stands beside an aisle that is holding Sinister Minister. Sinister Minister looks up and rolls his eyes at American Tommy. The flight attendant soon follows.
Flight Attendant: "You can't be up..."
Sinister Minister raises his hand.
Sinister Minister: "He's fine. He can sit up here."
American Tommy sticks out his tongue at the flight attendant and sits down next to American Tommy. She scoffs and walks away in a hurried pace.
American Tommy: "We need to talk about YoYo."
Sinister Minister sighs and looks at American Tommy.
Sinister Minister: "Yes, we do. I'm only in this match because you stuck a note under the door of the GM requesting this match. I have no urge to fight this woman, nor do I want to. Whatever you guys got going on I don't care, but figure your shit out. I thought I got away from Tokyo and his cult when BFW closed it's doors."
American Tommy: "I had to! She said she wouldn't talk to me anymore if I didn't put my money where my mouth is, which I took as she wants my mouth around her sensitive areas, but that's beside the point..."
Sinister Minister laughs.
Sinister Minister: "I don't think that is what YoYo was trying to imply."
American Tommy: "I read between the lines, bro, and soon I'll be between those thighs! I got this bro!"
Sinister Minister sighs and goes back to reading his magazine.
American Tommy: "I got it all figured out. I have people preparing a Thanksgiving dinner for the two of us when we get to the show. I'll be the perfect gentlemen and I'll even leave my wand in my pocket! Anyways, after it's all done and some poor people come and clean the table I'm going to ask her if I can stuff her turkey."
Sinister Minister smirks and puts down the magazine. He looks at American Tommy.
Sinister Minister: "I don't think that's going to work."
American Tommy shakes his head and opens his mouth in shock.
American Tommy: "What do you mean you don't think it will work? I just bought this muggle,with a venus fly trap for a snatch, dinner. She better lose the teeth out of her vagina."
Sinister Minister: "I meant let's go with something different than, "Can I stuff your turkey?"
American Tommy thinks.
American Tommy: "What about while she's eating ask her if she likes the gobble gobble and when she says yes ask her if she will gobble on my cock later?"
Sinister Minister shakes his head no.
American Tommy: "Butter my biscuit?"
Sinister Minister shakes his head no.
American Tommy: "I heard you have a wishbone for me *wink*."
Sinister Minister: "No."
American Tommy: “The turkey isn’t the only thing on this table that needs basting.”
Sinister Minister: "Probably not."
American Tommy sighs and throws his hands down to his side.
American Tommy: "This is bullshit! I'm wasn't even going to wear pants when we eat because I thought things were going to get poppin'.
Sinister Minister: "You should wear pants."
American Tommy begins to have a whiny tone in his voice.
American Tommy: "Damn it! I have to wear pants? This fucks everything up! I was going to tell her I got her a gift and then I was going to stand up and there would be a ribbon on my penis in the shape of a bow. Gobble Gobble, bitch! Back to the drawing board I go..."
Sinister Minister shrugs at American Tommy and goes back to reading his magazine.
American Tommy: "What if I ask her if she wants some sour cream to go with her mashed potatos?"
The screen goes black.
American Tommy: "God damn you are a fat muggle. How many turkeys did you eat on Thanksgiving?"
The man stares at American Tommy and simply shakes his head while American Tommy raises the palms of his hand waiting for an answer.
Man: "My family and I, which is quite large, ate two turkeys, young man."
American Tommy dismisses what the man said and interjects.
American Tommy: "All that fat must be blocking your eardrums, muggle. I said how many did YOU eat. As in, all by yourself? Was your beverage of choice on thanksgiving a glass full of gravy? Also, your family can't be any larger than you. Every time we hit a bit of turbulence your fat jiggles up against my elbows. I bet you're hiding some illegal immigrants somewhere in those rolls you call a stomach."
The man's face turns red as he grabs American Tommy by the collar of his shirt. American Tommy takes the handle of his wand and hits the man in the forehead with it causing the man to loosen his grip and American Tommy wiggles away. The old lady stares at them and starts fussing.
Old lady: "Well, Lord Jesus! You two made me miss a stitch. Now I have to unwind a bit and start again. Will you two just sit still."
American Tommy: "Pipe down, lady. Nobody was talking to you. Mind your own fucking business and have some manners when you talk to Harry Potter! Jesus ain't going to save you now just like he didn't save me from Lord Voldemort. You know who saved the wizard world? Not Jesus. Me! Me! Me! Praise me!"
The entire plane is looking at the three of them and the old lady starts ringing the buzzer trying to get a flight attendant's attention. The flight attendant comes with the beverage cart in tow. She looks at the old man who is holding his forehead and the old lady who is flustered. She looks at American Tommy who has his feet pressed up against the seat in front of him, shaking it.
Flight Attendant: "You need to put your feet down, sir."
American Tommy looks at the attendant and dismisses her. He grabs some nuts and starts dropping them in the hair of the old lady in front of him. She doesn't feel a thing.
American Tommy: "You ever had sex with a wizard?"
American Tommy looks at the flight attendant and winks at her.
American Tommy: "Look, it looks like something shit in this lady's hair. HEY LADY! You got lice or something. you should get that checked."
The flight attendant starts to get irritated with American Tommy who has absolutely no care in the world.
Flight Attendant: "We are going to have to ask you to calm down, sir."
American Tommy stands up and looks at the old lady.
American Tommy: "You need to knit a scarf for this lady because she is cold hearted. I'm sitting here doing absolutely nothing wrong and I'm getting told I need to calm down! This is discrimination!"
Man: "You don't even know what that word means."
American Tommy hits the man over the head with his wand again and points at him.
American Tommy: "I know you need to shut the fuck up, Moby Dick!"
Flight Attendant: "You need to sit down in your seat."
American Tommy: "Don't you worry about me. My buddy in 1st class bought two seats so nobody would sit next to him. I'm going to go and sit up there while everybody is cramped like sardines back here in Muggle Class!"
American Tommy walks by the flight attendant who is yelling at him to sit back down and walks up into first class. He walks in and stands beside an aisle that is holding Sinister Minister. Sinister Minister looks up and rolls his eyes at American Tommy. The flight attendant soon follows.
Flight Attendant: "You can't be up..."
Sinister Minister raises his hand.
Sinister Minister: "He's fine. He can sit up here."
American Tommy sticks out his tongue at the flight attendant and sits down next to American Tommy. She scoffs and walks away in a hurried pace.
American Tommy: "We need to talk about YoYo."
Sinister Minister sighs and looks at American Tommy.
Sinister Minister: "Yes, we do. I'm only in this match because you stuck a note under the door of the GM requesting this match. I have no urge to fight this woman, nor do I want to. Whatever you guys got going on I don't care, but figure your shit out. I thought I got away from Tokyo and his cult when BFW closed it's doors."
American Tommy: "I had to! She said she wouldn't talk to me anymore if I didn't put my money where my mouth is, which I took as she wants my mouth around her sensitive areas, but that's beside the point..."
Sinister Minister laughs.
Sinister Minister: "I don't think that is what YoYo was trying to imply."
American Tommy: "I read between the lines, bro, and soon I'll be between those thighs! I got this bro!"
Sinister Minister sighs and goes back to reading his magazine.
American Tommy: "I got it all figured out. I have people preparing a Thanksgiving dinner for the two of us when we get to the show. I'll be the perfect gentlemen and I'll even leave my wand in my pocket! Anyways, after it's all done and some poor people come and clean the table I'm going to ask her if I can stuff her turkey."
Sinister Minister smirks and puts down the magazine. He looks at American Tommy.
Sinister Minister: "I don't think that's going to work."
American Tommy shakes his head and opens his mouth in shock.
American Tommy: "What do you mean you don't think it will work? I just bought this muggle,with a venus fly trap for a snatch, dinner. She better lose the teeth out of her vagina."
Sinister Minister: "I meant let's go with something different than, "Can I stuff your turkey?"
American Tommy thinks.
American Tommy: "What about while she's eating ask her if she likes the gobble gobble and when she says yes ask her if she will gobble on my cock later?"
Sinister Minister shakes his head no.
American Tommy: "Butter my biscuit?"
Sinister Minister shakes his head no.
American Tommy: "I heard you have a wishbone for me *wink*."
Sinister Minister: "No."
American Tommy: “The turkey isn’t the only thing on this table that needs basting.”
Sinister Minister: "Probably not."
American Tommy sighs and throws his hands down to his side.
American Tommy: "This is bullshit! I'm wasn't even going to wear pants when we eat because I thought things were going to get poppin'.
Sinister Minister: "You should wear pants."
American Tommy begins to have a whiny tone in his voice.
American Tommy: "Damn it! I have to wear pants? This fucks everything up! I was going to tell her I got her a gift and then I was going to stand up and there would be a ribbon on my penis in the shape of a bow. Gobble Gobble, bitch! Back to the drawing board I go..."
Sinister Minister shrugs at American Tommy and goes back to reading his magazine.
American Tommy: "What if I ask her if she wants some sour cream to go with her mashed potatos?"
The screen goes black.