Post by Anastasia Hayden on Dec 16, 2016 8:00:01 GMT -5
You ran away
You were afraid to make mistakes
But that’s the biggest one you made
And it’s unfortunate
Cutting people out of your life is very similar to cutting cancerous tumors out of the human body. You see them be removed, but you know there’s a chance they’ll come back. And when they do, they’ll hit harder than anything else. Becoming a recluse was the only option of survival for Anastasia Hayden. One look at her phone and she’d see texts, missed calls, and voicemails from Isabella. From Tyler. She never answered, never bothered to look at what they had to say or hear the plea deals they’d make to try to bring her back to the realm of the living.
Half the time, Ana wasn’t even aware of what was happening in front of her. She’d become a machine. A robot. She’d become what she feared becoming. Every avenue of her life saw an escape route placed in, but she never realized it’d loop back to the same scenario. Just a fresh coat of paint applied, but digging through the walls with her nails would reveal the not-so-hidden truth. Her fears about North Dakota became her reality everywhere she fled. She was stuck in a limbo.
There was never a resolution, never an alternate path. Instead, she’d find new and exciting ways to destroy her life. Getting too close to someone? Ignore them and hide. Starting to find love? Pack everything and move away. In her mind, she knew she couldn’t keep running forever, but Anastasia Hayden isn’t a quitter.
She studies her reflection in the window until the waitress comes by, pouring a fresh cup of coffee. The brew was bitter and gross, as if it had been stewing for hours. And there was a very real chance that it was. Not that it bothered her, the small roadside diner outside of Boston didn’t offer a welcoming front. Though, Ana didn’t want a welcome. She wanted something that told her to stay away. The truckers in the booths with their hats low and their eyes lower, focused on their maps was just the company she needed in the morning.
A few more hours until the sun rose and a few more hours until Ana reached Lowell for AWE. Wrestling, the temporary antidote for her illness. Just the thought of getting back in the ring brought a crease at the corner of her mouth. Always the lone savior in her life. Then a flash of Thirteen came across her mind and the crease folded back into place; back to the stoic routine. A new name added to the impressively massive list of sorrows in Ana’s life.
Even wrestling had a catch. A lone sigh escaped, nothing was spared. Ana sensed a presence by her and sure enough, the elder waitress put her hand on her hip, and looked at Ana with a look of worry. She must’ve read the despair painted all over Anastasia’s face.
“What brings you out here, dear?”
Like a grandmother, she speaks in a soft tone to Ana. A tone that would make Ana feel guilty for blowing off her off. She didn’t want to force a fake smile, but she didn’t want to transfer her depression either. Instead, she greeted her waitress with a look modeled after Dana Scully: Eyebrows raised and her lips pressed together to form creases at their edges.
“It’s my birthday.”
“And you’re celebrating it...here?”
“No, I’m heading to Lowell.”
“Oh? Lowell? That’s great! Got family out there? Or friends?”
More of the AWE Roster crosses Ana’s mind. She didn’t show it, at least, she hoped she didn’t, but there was an internal wince at the thought of the roster. There weren’t any friends, only enemies and people she just coexists with. People that Ana thought were jealous of her.
“Yeah, something like that…”
“What are we celebrating? The big 21? 18?”
“27.”
A playful, shocked expression on the waitress’s face brought a genuine smile to Ana’s face. One that stuck around longer than usual.
“27?! I don’t believe it. You barely look 16.”
“Thanks.”
She wasn’t sure how to react to the compliment given her current state, but a solution would eventually develop. And it did, in the form of a metallic bell. It rang out in the back, both of their heads turning toward the small window where the lone chef put up a plate of food.
“Duty calls.”
The waitress pats Ana’s shoulder, giving her one last smile before leaving her sight. The light that gave Anastasia some life was gone just as soon as it came. The small victories was what Ana needed to grasp onto, but they slipped through and she didn’t scramble to catch them. Her smile was wiped clean and replaced with her Terminator impression.
Reaching into her backpack next to her in the boot, Ana retrieved her notebook. Flipping through the pages, she stopped at a page titled “Alpha Cup: Owen Salvo” with empty bullet points underneath. A page waiting to be filled with scouting reports and suggestions to herself. But something caught her eye for the first time. Something she hadn’t seen before, lurking in the bottom right of the page.
A crudely drawn heart with the signature belonging to Tyler. She picked up her bag and left her notebook on the table, pushing open the door to the bathroom and locking it behind her. Her knuckles turned white as she held onto the edges of the sink, trying to calm herself down. Splashing cold water across her face helped, but she had already made up her mind that water wouldn’t be enough. Digging into her bag again, Ana pulled out the small, black plastic case. With the sink being her support, she undid her belt and lowered her jeans, exposing her thighs. The case popped open and she took the razor blade out of its home.
And within moments, everything was better. The paper towels kept the blood at bay and away from her jeans. Like Heaven. One more splash of water and putting the blade back into her case, everything would be fine again. If only for a moment. Not that she needed much time. Just enough to get her to the hotel. Ana left the bathroom, but paused as something got her attention instantly. Next to the notebook, a slice of pie with a lit candle placed in its center.
It was too much. A simple act of kindness. All it took to bring her back down. To remind her of the guilt she dealt to everyone else and in return, she was thanked with kindness. It made her sick again. Her hands started to shake, feeling like the start of a panic attack, and she stumbled back into the bathroom. Her breathing rapid and she dug back into her back, fumbling around with the black case.
Happy birthday, Anastasia Hayden.
“You know, I’ve always prided myself on not caring what people say. Wrestlers want to fire some shots at me and that’s fine. I don’t need anyone’s approval; never have. That being said...lately, it’s been a different story. When I see people talk in the back, or on Twitter, or when the powers that be cheekily say it’s a ‘self-proclaimed’ statement when I call myself the MVP of AWE..it pisses me off. I don’t call myself the MVP of AWE to brag...I call myself that because it’s the truth. Nobody does more for AWE than me. When I leave Massacre, beat up and sore, I’ve already got my flight and hotel booked for my next fight in #FSociety to represent this company. AWE is my burden and I carry it without hesitation, so what does that say about me?”
“It says that I am the hardest working wrestler alive today. I am the GREATEST working wrestler alive today. Yesterday. Tomorrow. Fuck it, I’ll be the greatest working wrestler of ALL TIME! And I’ve proven that every single time I’ve stepped into a ring. Just take one note: If Anastasia Hayden’s not involved, it’s not worth your time. Like the Paramount tournament for example. The moment I took my exit, I made that championship worthless. Why fight over it if you’re not fighting against me? When I fell out of the ring and onto those steel steps, I proved with one motion why the Alpha Cup is the only tournament worth being involved with.”
“And what a surprise! It’s me, Anastasia Hayden, who made the Alpha Cup what it is! I carry the tournaments too! No one’s gonna care that Colgate Carnage was my first opponent in this tournament. He was just a name with no weight behind it, but what’s new in AWE? Just like that puppet, Cyrus Riddle, who had his strings snipped and now he’s getting glued back together for one more pity performance. It’s charity case after charity case in AWE and would you look at that...Owen Salvo’s no different. Or should I say, the ‘Shocking’ Owen Salvo? Whatever inflates your ego a bit more.”
“Who doesn’t love a good underdog story? Everyone is getting so worked up over your victory at the last Massacre and oh, everyone just thinks this match between us will be nothing short of amazing. But Owen, I’ll be honest with you since no one else will...when I saw your name across from mine in the bracket, I knew what that meant. Disappointment. I fought to get to the second round of the Alpha Cup and my opponent is...Owen Salvo!? It was bad enough I had to defeat one of those Resilience Division losers...now I have to beat the one hit wonder of the Paramount Division?”
“I hate underdog stories. I hate them because people get so worked up over someone who is weak, they want the weak hero to win just because they have a lot of ‘heart’ and ‘fight’ in them. It’s all bullshit. If you let weakness take over any moment in your life and then you overcome the challenge, that just means you’ve got it lurking and waiting to take over again. And that’s what I see when I look at you, Owen. Someone who’s weak. And I have to be the villain who makes you wake up and realize you’re not an underdog. At least the underdog wins sometimes.”
“You’re just a fucking failure, Owen. In my eyes, you haven’t done anything to be crowned as an ‘underdog’. When we step into the ring, there won’t be a comeback moment for you. The crowd will chant and build you up...only for me to come back and knock you back down to Earth. If you want to be taken seriously as a wrestler, Owen, take my advice and back out of the tournament now. You’re not built for the Alpha Cup. This is me being generous to you. Otherwise, I’m gonna have to kick your fucking teeth down your throat at Massacre. No one is stopping me from winning the Alpha Cup. Definitely not Owen fucking Salvo.”
“I’m the MVP of AWE because I’ll take pity on you when no one else will. Just withdraw your name now because you’re not ready for this fight. Nothing will ever prepare you for this fight. You’re just a duckling in a pond full of alligators, Owen. And I’m afraid that your wings are about to be clipped. After me, there’s no escape. And that goes for everyone in the Alpha Cup. I’ve embarrassed Colgate Carnage, I’ll demolish Owen Salvo, and whoever is next...I’ll make them realize what AWE stands for when they step into my ring.”
“When they step into Anastasia’s Wrestling Empire!”