Post by Staff on Feb 5, 2017 14:01:02 GMT -5
EARLIER
“It’s a big day, everyone!”
Thirteen’s hospital room during her convalescence had become a makeshift meeting hub for the three AWE stakeholders, and those with whom they confided. Tony and Kassandrah sat holding hands on chairs conferring with one another quietly, Thirteen herself stood beside her bed and packed her suitcase with a smile, while Todd Reid stood over by the window discussing something privately with Francis’ assistant Rodney P, while the French Mime Assassins helped to tidy Thirteen’s room with an imaginary broom and dust pan.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: This one’s the big one. Thirteen’s getting out of here. We got Excellent Artax to attend, let’s move it –
TODD REID: Executive Action, Francis.
Francis straightened his collar and glared at Todd.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: I said that.
Believe it, or not, Francis had spearheaded their togetherness, working to ensure Thirteen had a constant stream of company to buoy her spirits, mimes to entertain her, and those in the true know to catch her up on all the details of the Alpha Wrestling Empire, although Thirteen felt quite certain Francis saw himself as Liam Neeson in the movie Nell, he had risen to his paternalistic best over the past two weeks.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Gather round, people. We need to pray. Come hold hands.
RODNEY P: Pray?
TONY CHU: Hold hands?
Francis snickered as the group gathered into a circle. Francis snickered at Tony.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: That’s what you do when you pray, silly. Otherwise the man upstairs doesn’t hear your prayers. You don’t hold hands when you pray?
TONY CHU: I don’t pray.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: And that’s why you’re going to hell.
Hands were plucked into hands as the Mimes, Thirteen, Tony Chu, Rodney P, the mysterious Mister Mississagi, Todd Reid and Kassandrah gathered with Francis and instinctively bowed their heads.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Oh! Wait.
Francis hurried over to a boom box and pressed play on the CD player and hurried back to once more grip Tony Chu’s hand. Francis smiled down at him as “Hero” by Enrique Iglesias began to play.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: I love this track. Gets me prayer pumped.
Tony blinked back at Francis as the swells of the strings kicked in and Francis hummed along with the melody, rocking gently to and fro. Eyes in the group diverted to one another before Francis tilted his face to the ceiling with reverence, closed his eyes and immediately cued everyone that his prayer was about to begin.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Oz, o grande e poderoso. Agradecemos pelo xarope que você envia tão abundantemente. Que, eu só tenho aprendido também vai bem em panquecas, que sabia, estou certo?
TONY CHU: What are you doing?
THIRTEEN: Francis, you speak Portuguese?
The murmur and exclamations drew Francis out of his reverence with annoyance.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: I’m speaking… in TONGUES, fools. Don’t any of you know about the Pants at Cost?
RODNEY P: The Pentecost.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Exactly.
THIRTEEN: You're not making any sense. Was that about syrup?
Francis eyed Thirteen bewildered.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: All right. Fine. You know what? Forget the damn prayer.
Francis begrudgingly dropped Tony’s hand, causing the others to drift out of the temporary show of solidarity.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: It’s only the biggest day of my life and you guys are ruining this for me.
THIRTEEN: It’s a big day for everyone.
TODD REID: Francis. We get it. This one’s huge. One of you is going to be the COO of the AWE after tonight.
The words never stopped carrying weight. Francis considered.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Yes. I still want to say a few words, if I may?
The circle had barely drifted apart before Francis had beckoned them back to gather.
RODNEY P: Oh god.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: That’s enough Rodney. Now, I know this has been a trying time for all of us. I know that my routine attempts to thwart the rest of you have, unfortunately, gone unsuccessful... Anyway, I think we’ve come together as a team, at the head of which I, of course, am the leader, not unlike Optimus Prime. *Reminisces* I believe it was at Cybertron where—
TODD REID: Francis?
Francis stopped speaking and lifted an accusing eyebrow at Todd.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Yes?
TODD REID: If I may?
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: *sighs* Fine.
TODD REID: Look. It’s about the fed, not the person running it. I’m sure any one of you running the AWE *looks hesitantly at Francis who is now snoring* w-would be a terrific COO. Let’s make a deal, here and now, that no matter how this unfolds there’ll be no hard feelings amongst you four, okay?
They all nodded.
TODD REID: All right! Let’s go.
Francis awoke rather suddenly as the group prepared to exit.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Let’s roll. Mimes. Rodney. Mississagi. Saddle up. ‘Teen you coming with?
THIRTEEN: No, thank you, Francis. I’ve got a ride coming in a little while. I wanted to say good bye to the hospital staff. Everyone’s been so nice here.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: *snickers* Nerd. Fine.
TODD REID: I’ll ride with you. Come on, Tony.
Francis led his entourage toward the door, stopped as Tony eyed Kass who hung back.
KASSANDRAH: You go ahead with them. I need some time alone.
She gulped slightly, and eyed Tony. She wasn’t often nervous. Tony watched their hands slip apart as she smiled sheepishly at him.
TONY CHU: *reluctantly* Okay.
Tony blinked at this more sullen side of his girlfriend and lingered seconds longer to watch her approach Thirteen and wonder at what new wisp had given her the sudden shift in mood. And then he departed with the gaggle.
Thirteen kept packing. Kassandrah stood and watched.
KASANDRAH: Look. Whatever happens tonight—
THIRTEEN: You already know what happens tonight, future girl.
Kass cleared her throat uncomfortably.
KASSANDRAH: Yeah. Right. Look, whatever happens tonight, know that it’ll be okay, all right?
Her serious tone caught Thirteen off-guard. She turned to regard Kassandrah.
THIRTEEN: Does something bad happen?
Kass averted her eyes from Thirteen’s prodding glance.
KASSANDRAH: I can’t say anything.
THIRTEEN: Something happens.
Thirteen’s smile dropped, her face felt numb.
THIRTEEN: He wins, doesn’t he?
KASSANDRAH: I can’t say. Just… Trust, okay?
She refused to let the questions continue. She turned for the door.
KASSANDRAH: I love you, kay?
THIRTEEN: I love you too.
Thirteen frowned and watched Kass pass soundlessly out the door. And Thirteen kept packing, left to dwell on whatever it was that had spooked Kassandrah.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: This one’s the big one. Thirteen’s getting out of here. We got Excellent Artax to attend, let’s move it –
TODD REID: Executive Action, Francis.
Francis straightened his collar and glared at Todd.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: I said that.
Believe it, or not, Francis had spearheaded their togetherness, working to ensure Thirteen had a constant stream of company to buoy her spirits, mimes to entertain her, and those in the true know to catch her up on all the details of the Alpha Wrestling Empire, although Thirteen felt quite certain Francis saw himself as Liam Neeson in the movie Nell, he had risen to his paternalistic best over the past two weeks.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Gather round, people. We need to pray. Come hold hands.
RODNEY P: Pray?
TONY CHU: Hold hands?
Francis snickered as the group gathered into a circle. Francis snickered at Tony.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: That’s what you do when you pray, silly. Otherwise the man upstairs doesn’t hear your prayers. You don’t hold hands when you pray?
TONY CHU: I don’t pray.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: And that’s why you’re going to hell.
Hands were plucked into hands as the Mimes, Thirteen, Tony Chu, Rodney P, the mysterious Mister Mississagi, Todd Reid and Kassandrah gathered with Francis and instinctively bowed their heads.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Oh! Wait.
Francis hurried over to a boom box and pressed play on the CD player and hurried back to once more grip Tony Chu’s hand. Francis smiled down at him as “Hero” by Enrique Iglesias began to play.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: I love this track. Gets me prayer pumped.
Tony blinked back at Francis as the swells of the strings kicked in and Francis hummed along with the melody, rocking gently to and fro. Eyes in the group diverted to one another before Francis tilted his face to the ceiling with reverence, closed his eyes and immediately cued everyone that his prayer was about to begin.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Oz, o grande e poderoso. Agradecemos pelo xarope que você envia tão abundantemente. Que, eu só tenho aprendido também vai bem em panquecas, que sabia, estou certo?
TONY CHU: What are you doing?
THIRTEEN: Francis, you speak Portuguese?
The murmur and exclamations drew Francis out of his reverence with annoyance.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: I’m speaking… in TONGUES, fools. Don’t any of you know about the Pants at Cost?
RODNEY P: The Pentecost.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Exactly.
THIRTEEN: You're not making any sense. Was that about syrup?
Francis eyed Thirteen bewildered.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: All right. Fine. You know what? Forget the damn prayer.
Francis begrudgingly dropped Tony’s hand, causing the others to drift out of the temporary show of solidarity.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: It’s only the biggest day of my life and you guys are ruining this for me.
THIRTEEN: It’s a big day for everyone.
TODD REID: Francis. We get it. This one’s huge. One of you is going to be the COO of the AWE after tonight.
The words never stopped carrying weight. Francis considered.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Yes. I still want to say a few words, if I may?
The circle had barely drifted apart before Francis had beckoned them back to gather.
RODNEY P: Oh god.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: That’s enough Rodney. Now, I know this has been a trying time for all of us. I know that my routine attempts to thwart the rest of you have, unfortunately, gone unsuccessful... Anyway, I think we’ve come together as a team, at the head of which I, of course, am the leader, not unlike Optimus Prime. *Reminisces* I believe it was at Cybertron where—
TODD REID: Francis?
Francis stopped speaking and lifted an accusing eyebrow at Todd.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Yes?
TODD REID: If I may?
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: *sighs* Fine.
TODD REID: Look. It’s about the fed, not the person running it. I’m sure any one of you running the AWE *looks hesitantly at Francis who is now snoring* w-would be a terrific COO. Let’s make a deal, here and now, that no matter how this unfolds there’ll be no hard feelings amongst you four, okay?
They all nodded.
TODD REID: All right! Let’s go.
Francis awoke rather suddenly as the group prepared to exit.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Let’s roll. Mimes. Rodney. Mississagi. Saddle up. ‘Teen you coming with?
THIRTEEN: No, thank you, Francis. I’ve got a ride coming in a little while. I wanted to say good bye to the hospital staff. Everyone’s been so nice here.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: *snickers* Nerd. Fine.
TODD REID: I’ll ride with you. Come on, Tony.
Francis led his entourage toward the door, stopped as Tony eyed Kass who hung back.
KASSANDRAH: You go ahead with them. I need some time alone.
She gulped slightly, and eyed Tony. She wasn’t often nervous. Tony watched their hands slip apart as she smiled sheepishly at him.
TONY CHU: *reluctantly* Okay.
Tony blinked at this more sullen side of his girlfriend and lingered seconds longer to watch her approach Thirteen and wonder at what new wisp had given her the sudden shift in mood. And then he departed with the gaggle.
Thirteen kept packing. Kassandrah stood and watched.
KASANDRAH: Look. Whatever happens tonight—
THIRTEEN: You already know what happens tonight, future girl.
Kass cleared her throat uncomfortably.
KASSANDRAH: Yeah. Right. Look, whatever happens tonight, know that it’ll be okay, all right?
Her serious tone caught Thirteen off-guard. She turned to regard Kassandrah.
THIRTEEN: Does something bad happen?
Kass averted her eyes from Thirteen’s prodding glance.
KASSANDRAH: I can’t say anything.
THIRTEEN: Something happens.
Thirteen’s smile dropped, her face felt numb.
THIRTEEN: He wins, doesn’t he?
KASSANDRAH: I can’t say. Just… Trust, okay?
She refused to let the questions continue. She turned for the door.
KASSANDRAH: I love you, kay?
THIRTEEN: I love you too.
Thirteen frowned and watched Kass pass soundlessly out the door. And Thirteen kept packing, left to dwell on whatever it was that had spooked Kassandrah.
Overhead, the camera sweeps across the packed Indiana Farmer’s Coliseum where strobes and coloured lights pass over a roaring and excited crowd. The camera angle shifts down to rolling shots across the crowd to spy signs hand and home made held up for all to see!
To show just a few. The angle sets on the announce table where Brad Stokes and Nina Applebaum eye the raucous crowd, before turning their attention to the lens.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Good evening everyone. I’m Nina Applebaum, and this is Bradley Stokes, and you’re joining us for the Alpha Wrestling Empire’s first ever supershow: Executive Action!
BRAD STOKES: The big one. Did you realize, Nina, this is show number seven? SEVEN! That’s significant. Magnificent Seven. There were Seven dwarves too, weren’t there, Nina? Seven. Is that a coincidence?
NINA APPLEBAUM: I’m not sure, Bradley. What a night we have in store for you AWEphiles-
BRAD STOKES: Seven days in a week, Nina. Check that out. It’s almost eerie, isn’t it? How many sevens we got going on here. Why, there's even seven elevens.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Yes, well. Tonight, in action we have—
BRAD STOKES: Seven planets in our solar system, Nina. Check that out.
NINA APPLEBAUM: There’s more than seven planets in the solar system, Bradley.
BRAD STOKES: Well, I count seven.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Well you count wrong.
BRAD STOKES: I’m insulted.
NINA APPLEBAUM: I’m sure it won’t be the last time. As I was saying, we’ve got an amazing lineup of wrestling action planned for you tonight, fans. All the AWE titles will be on the line tonight, The Dynamic Title belts will be up for grabs for the first time since the AWE opened its doors, and we’re going to settle some scores tonight.
BRAD STOKES: And that’s not all, Nina. Tell them the best part!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Why don’t you, you seem very excited about it.
BRAD STOKES: I’m checking my star charts, hold up. Are you sure it’s not seven?
NINA APPLEBAUM: Quite sure. Well then, aside from the fact that after two grueling months we’re going to witness the first ever winner of the AWE’s Alpha Cup tournament between two of the toughest challengers the Paramount Division has to offer in James Radford and Anastasia Hayden.
BRAD STOKES: Still got the T-Shirt, Nina. I’m a certified Anaholic.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Stick to your star charts. We’re also going to witness the first title defense of the Paramount Championship, and we warn you fight fans, that one’s going to get messy.
BRAD STOKES: Screw star charts. If you want to count all the stupid planets as planets that’s no sweat off my sack, Nina. But let me break it down for the fans at home as to what’s at stake in this Paramount match.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Go right ahead.
BRAD STOKES: Stoker claimed that belt in December in one bloody match with Dom DiBona. Since then, the madman from Galveston has stood atop that mountain looking down at DiBona and anyone who’d dare challenge him with contempt!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Dom DiBona has made it his mission to win that championship. And tonight he’s not just competing against the seemingly insurmountable challenger of Stoker, but also the highly talented Owen Salvo in a threeway bout that promises to stun the crowd.
BRAD STOKES: And the final fight of the evening?
Before Brad can continue, the AlphaTron comes to life with, at first, a blurry face that slowly comes into focus. It is T.S. Elliot. There are boos, cheers, and ambivalence wrapped into one astonishingly mixed response from the crowd.
BRAD STOKES: There he is, Nina. Our Once, and future king!
THOMAS SHANE ELLIOT: Good evening fans of the AWE.
T.S.’ voice booms over the speakers.
THOMAS SHANE ELLIOT: I’m glad you’ve all come to join me in putting a period on a few sentences, and starting a few new paragraphs in what promises to be a whole new chapter in the ongoing history of the AWE.
BRAD STOKES: He’s so learn-ed!
THOMAS SHANE ELLIOT: We’ve been through a lot together, friends. While I’m here to celebrate this night of championship matches and finales of feuds, I ask you, where are the other 3 supposed contenders for my place here in the AWE?
The crowd responds with obvious confusion or rowdy ambivalence.
THOMAS SHANE ELLIOT: They’re not here, fight fans.
Some boos.
THOMAS SHANE ELLIOT: That’s right. Layoffs? Strikes? All of these things have been caused by the three folks currently trying to take my job, even though none of them have the experience, the know-how, or the skill to do what I have done for this company. I have made this company better than what it used to be. I have been here through thick and thin, through all the troubles to continuously offer stability in the face of the chaos of those three stakeholders. Why? Cause Kassandrah, Francis Ford Cuppola, and Thirteen are horrible people. They’re the worst people.
More boos.
BRAD STOKES: He’s got a point.
NINA APPLEBAUM: No he doesn’t.
BRAD STOKES: You’re causing chaos in your dissent, Nina.
THOMAS SHANE ELLIOT: Those three have failed you folks continuously, and tonight we’re going to put the final nail in the coffin that is their bid to lead this great company out of the darkness and into the light.
BRAD STOKES: So majestic. Look at him up there, Nina. All Messianic and floating head-like. Like that power rangers guy.
NINA APPLEBAUM: You’re comparing him to Jesus?
BRAD STOKES: No, Zordon. He's from another planet.
THOMAS SHANE ELLIOT: Tonight, when Zack Fantana successfully defends his Resilience title against 3 unworthy competitors with even unworthier shareholders, there will be no more doubt as to who's in charge of this company. Enjoy the show I’ve prepared for you, folks. I know I will.
The AlphaTron goes dim and the crowd roars.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Has anyone else noticed how remarkably distant that man has become from the fans and anyone?
BRAD STOKES: What are you talking about, Nina? He just appeared overhead like a cloud and SPOKE to the masses. His place is dwelling here with us. You’re just a nonbeliever.
NINA APPLEBAUM: He’s locked himself away like Howard Hughes! Collecting his own bodily fluids and who knows what.
BRAD STOKES: What’s wrong with a little self-storage, Nina? You’re just a hater. T.S. gets results, and tonight he’s going to get more as my boy Zack Banana Montana Fantana cleans the clock of the entire AWE roster all over again!
NINA APPLEBAUM: It's not the entire AWE roster, and they just so happen to be incredibly worthy competitors in Bindy Trent, Austin Gale and Dare Clemmens. But, given the lead-up to this event, nothing would surprise me tonight. Without further ado, let’s get this night started with our first match of the evening.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Oh, wait. I’m getting word we’re cutting to something else first…
STOKER! STOKER! – Billy Squier
Aaron’s Face Still Sets The Pace!
HAL 10,000 FOR COO!
AND THE LAW WON!
KICK HIS TEETH IN, MOUTHGUARD WARRIOR!
Aaron’s Face Still Sets The Pace!
HAL 10,000 FOR COO!
AND THE LAW WON!
KICK HIS TEETH IN, MOUTHGUARD WARRIOR!
To show just a few. The angle sets on the announce table where Brad Stokes and Nina Applebaum eye the raucous crowd, before turning their attention to the lens.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Good evening everyone. I’m Nina Applebaum, and this is Bradley Stokes, and you’re joining us for the Alpha Wrestling Empire’s first ever supershow: Executive Action!
BRAD STOKES: The big one. Did you realize, Nina, this is show number seven? SEVEN! That’s significant. Magnificent Seven. There were Seven dwarves too, weren’t there, Nina? Seven. Is that a coincidence?
NINA APPLEBAUM: I’m not sure, Bradley. What a night we have in store for you AWEphiles-
BRAD STOKES: Seven days in a week, Nina. Check that out. It’s almost eerie, isn’t it? How many sevens we got going on here. Why, there's even seven elevens.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Yes, well. Tonight, in action we have—
BRAD STOKES: Seven planets in our solar system, Nina. Check that out.
NINA APPLEBAUM: There’s more than seven planets in the solar system, Bradley.
BRAD STOKES: Well, I count seven.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Well you count wrong.
BRAD STOKES: I’m insulted.
NINA APPLEBAUM: I’m sure it won’t be the last time. As I was saying, we’ve got an amazing lineup of wrestling action planned for you tonight, fans. All the AWE titles will be on the line tonight, The Dynamic Title belts will be up for grabs for the first time since the AWE opened its doors, and we’re going to settle some scores tonight.
BRAD STOKES: And that’s not all, Nina. Tell them the best part!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Why don’t you, you seem very excited about it.
BRAD STOKES: I’m checking my star charts, hold up. Are you sure it’s not seven?
NINA APPLEBAUM: Quite sure. Well then, aside from the fact that after two grueling months we’re going to witness the first ever winner of the AWE’s Alpha Cup tournament between two of the toughest challengers the Paramount Division has to offer in James Radford and Anastasia Hayden.
BRAD STOKES: Still got the T-Shirt, Nina. I’m a certified Anaholic.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Stick to your star charts. We’re also going to witness the first title defense of the Paramount Championship, and we warn you fight fans, that one’s going to get messy.
BRAD STOKES: Screw star charts. If you want to count all the stupid planets as planets that’s no sweat off my sack, Nina. But let me break it down for the fans at home as to what’s at stake in this Paramount match.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Go right ahead.
BRAD STOKES: Stoker claimed that belt in December in one bloody match with Dom DiBona. Since then, the madman from Galveston has stood atop that mountain looking down at DiBona and anyone who’d dare challenge him with contempt!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Dom DiBona has made it his mission to win that championship. And tonight he’s not just competing against the seemingly insurmountable challenger of Stoker, but also the highly talented Owen Salvo in a threeway bout that promises to stun the crowd.
BRAD STOKES: And the final fight of the evening?
Before Brad can continue, the AlphaTron comes to life with, at first, a blurry face that slowly comes into focus. It is T.S. Elliot. There are boos, cheers, and ambivalence wrapped into one astonishingly mixed response from the crowd.
BRAD STOKES: There he is, Nina. Our Once, and future king!
THOMAS SHANE ELLIOT: Good evening fans of the AWE.
T.S.’ voice booms over the speakers.
THOMAS SHANE ELLIOT: I’m glad you’ve all come to join me in putting a period on a few sentences, and starting a few new paragraphs in what promises to be a whole new chapter in the ongoing history of the AWE.
BRAD STOKES: He’s so learn-ed!
THOMAS SHANE ELLIOT: We’ve been through a lot together, friends. While I’m here to celebrate this night of championship matches and finales of feuds, I ask you, where are the other 3 supposed contenders for my place here in the AWE?
The crowd responds with obvious confusion or rowdy ambivalence.
THOMAS SHANE ELLIOT: They’re not here, fight fans.
Some boos.
THOMAS SHANE ELLIOT: That’s right. Layoffs? Strikes? All of these things have been caused by the three folks currently trying to take my job, even though none of them have the experience, the know-how, or the skill to do what I have done for this company. I have made this company better than what it used to be. I have been here through thick and thin, through all the troubles to continuously offer stability in the face of the chaos of those three stakeholders. Why? Cause Kassandrah, Francis Ford Cuppola, and Thirteen are horrible people. They’re the worst people.
More boos.
BRAD STOKES: He’s got a point.
NINA APPLEBAUM: No he doesn’t.
BRAD STOKES: You’re causing chaos in your dissent, Nina.
THOMAS SHANE ELLIOT: Those three have failed you folks continuously, and tonight we’re going to put the final nail in the coffin that is their bid to lead this great company out of the darkness and into the light.
BRAD STOKES: So majestic. Look at him up there, Nina. All Messianic and floating head-like. Like that power rangers guy.
NINA APPLEBAUM: You’re comparing him to Jesus?
BRAD STOKES: No, Zordon. He's from another planet.
THOMAS SHANE ELLIOT: Tonight, when Zack Fantana successfully defends his Resilience title against 3 unworthy competitors with even unworthier shareholders, there will be no more doubt as to who's in charge of this company. Enjoy the show I’ve prepared for you, folks. I know I will.
The AlphaTron goes dim and the crowd roars.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Has anyone else noticed how remarkably distant that man has become from the fans and anyone?
BRAD STOKES: What are you talking about, Nina? He just appeared overhead like a cloud and SPOKE to the masses. His place is dwelling here with us. You’re just a nonbeliever.
NINA APPLEBAUM: He’s locked himself away like Howard Hughes! Collecting his own bodily fluids and who knows what.
BRAD STOKES: What’s wrong with a little self-storage, Nina? You’re just a hater. T.S. gets results, and tonight he’s going to get more as my boy Zack Banana Montana Fantana cleans the clock of the entire AWE roster all over again!
NINA APPLEBAUM: It's not the entire AWE roster, and they just so happen to be incredibly worthy competitors in Bindy Trent, Austin Gale and Dare Clemmens. But, given the lead-up to this event, nothing would surprise me tonight. Without further ado, let’s get this night started with our first match of the evening.
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: Coming to the ring first!
BRAD STOKES: Gonna be a lit match, Nina.
BRAD STOKES: Gonna be a lit match, Nina.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Oh, wait. I’m getting word we’re cutting to something else first…
Kassandrah looks into her car mirror with a resigned sigh. She steps out from her car and eyes up at the large hotel before her. She heads in, and rides the elevator up, just like she’d dreamed, to the fourteenth floor all the while tugging her oversized jacket tight to herself. She exits onto the floor, sighs once more and makes her way to outside the door of the penthouse room. She frowns with consternation. She’s seen this play out before she’d even gotten her, and yet her heart skips a beat Aas her knuckles hit the door. It opens. Kassandrah peeks inside, and finds the room empty but lit. She hesitates, but decides to venture in, leaving the door behind her ajar.
KASSANDRAH: Are you here?
The door closes behind her and she spins and she finds herself to face-to-face...well...face-to-mask, with that familiar and yet unknown masked man.
KASSANDRAH: I knew it.
Despite seemingly knowing to expect him, there is a clear sense of trepidation on her face as the man looks ominously down at her. She looks downward, already flinching.
KASSANDRAH: Just make it a clean shot, okay?
Fists clenched, he raises his hand. She braces herself.
KASSANDRAH: You know you won’t make a difference, right?
The masked man pauses, but says nothing.
KASSANDRAH: I know how this ends.
He leans in, his mask all but pressed into her face.
MASKED MAN: ...I don’t care.
Kassandrah frowns.
KASSANDRAH: Then ,why-
In the blink of an eye he straightens back up, striking his right hand down onto her temple. Kassandrah flops over sideways, landing onto the cushion of the couch, rolling and then dropping to the creamy carpet with an unceremonious thud. The masked man kneels with a roll of tape appearing in hand.
After binding her, he moves to exit. The door to the hotel room closes behind him, and he hangs the ‘do not disturb’ sign before leaving.
KASSANDRAH: Are you here?
The door closes behind her and she spins and she finds herself to face-to-face...well...face-to-mask, with that familiar and yet unknown masked man.
KASSANDRAH: I knew it.
Despite seemingly knowing to expect him, there is a clear sense of trepidation on her face as the man looks ominously down at her. She looks downward, already flinching.
KASSANDRAH: Just make it a clean shot, okay?
Fists clenched, he raises his hand. She braces herself.
KASSANDRAH: You know you won’t make a difference, right?
The masked man pauses, but says nothing.
KASSANDRAH: I know how this ends.
He leans in, his mask all but pressed into her face.
MASKED MAN: ...I don’t care.
Kassandrah frowns.
KASSANDRAH: Then ,why-
In the blink of an eye he straightens back up, striking his right hand down onto her temple. Kassandrah flops over sideways, landing onto the cushion of the couch, rolling and then dropping to the creamy carpet with an unceremonious thud. The masked man kneels with a roll of tape appearing in hand.
After binding her, he moves to exit. The door to the hotel room closes behind him, and he hangs the ‘do not disturb’ sign before leaving.
BRAD STOKES: DAMN! These two are putting on a show!
NINA APPLEBAUM: The fans sure aren't-- Oh... wait... Sorry fans, I'm getting word that there's more action going on backstage!
NINA APPLEBAUM: The fans sure aren't-- Oh... wait... Sorry fans, I'm getting word that there's more action going on backstage!
American Tommy walks into the newly designed AWE news studio that the company has prepared for a once in a lifetime star as himself. Knowing that he is money, they want to keep this wizard very happy. It has the works, which pleases American Tommy.
AMERICAN TOMMY: About time they gave the people what they wanted! You know who they really want to control this company? ME! ...but no, I wasn’t even asked about ownership in the company. I’m Harry Potter! I’m just a goddamn wizard; what the fuck do I know?
American Tommy looks around and finds some random worker.
AMERICAN TOMMY: What do you do?
WORKER: I’m sent here to make sure you don’t do anything offensive.
American Tommy face turns sour and he shakes his head.
AMERICAN TOMMY: Me? Offensive? Please. I’m going to give you a task that I need done quickly.
The worker has an uneasy look to him.
AMERICAN TOMMY: Don’t worry, I’m not Austin Gale and going to have you put makeup on my genitals to try and make it look less like a vagina. I need you to find my bongos.
American Tommy starts to walk away, but the worker stops him.
WORKER: Your bongos?
American Tommy turns around quickly and stares at the man intently.
AMERICAN TOMMY: Yes, my bongos. I’m going to deliver the news naked while playing them.
The worker’s face turns red and raises a finger to interject.
WORKER: I can’t let you do that, sir….
American Tommy is furious. He’s not a fan of people questioning his decisions, ESPECIALLY on his news program.
AMERICAN TOMMY: It’ll be fine! Go get my fucking bongos, muggle!
As American Tommy finishes his sentence a stage hand arrives and hands American Tommy his bongos.
WORKER: I plead with you not to do what you are thinking about doing.
American Tommy smiles and looks at the worker.
AMERICAN TOMMY: About time they gave the people what they wanted! You know who they really want to control this company? ME! ...but no, I wasn’t even asked about ownership in the company. I’m Harry Potter! I’m just a goddamn wizard; what the fuck do I know?
American Tommy looks around and finds some random worker.
AMERICAN TOMMY: What do you do?
WORKER: I’m sent here to make sure you don’t do anything offensive.
American Tommy face turns sour and he shakes his head.
AMERICAN TOMMY: Me? Offensive? Please. I’m going to give you a task that I need done quickly.
The worker has an uneasy look to him.
AMERICAN TOMMY: Don’t worry, I’m not Austin Gale and going to have you put makeup on my genitals to try and make it look less like a vagina. I need you to find my bongos.
American Tommy starts to walk away, but the worker stops him.
WORKER: Your bongos?
American Tommy turns around quickly and stares at the man intently.
AMERICAN TOMMY: Yes, my bongos. I’m going to deliver the news naked while playing them.
The worker’s face turns red and raises a finger to interject.
WORKER: I can’t let you do that, sir….
American Tommy is furious. He’s not a fan of people questioning his decisions, ESPECIALLY on his news program.
AMERICAN TOMMY: It’ll be fine! Go get my fucking bongos, muggle!
As American Tommy finishes his sentence a stage hand arrives and hands American Tommy his bongos.
WORKER: I plead with you not to do what you are thinking about doing.
American Tommy smiles and looks at the worker.
Worker: Well, you are not home for one.
AMERICAN TOMMY: Nonsense! This newsroom IS my home!
American Tommy strips down naked and grabs his bongos. He pulls a chair up in front of the desk and sits down, placing the bongos on his lap.
AMERICAN TOMMY: Let’s get this show on the road, boys. Turn the lights on and count me down!
The lights in the room raise up and American Tommy is front and center. The sound of a electronic voice is heard in the background counting down from 5 and a short intro song is played. They point to American Tommy who gives a head nod.
AMERICAN TOMMY: Hello, America. This is Harry Potter and you are watching News for Muggles. The first story of the evening is…
American Tommy stands up with the bongos covering his junk and turns around showing the camera is ass. He grabs the cup of coffee on the desk and takes a drink as he scratches the back of his head. He lowers the cup of coffee and turns around as the coffee hides his nether regions.
AMERICAN TOMMY: Well, uh, you see...
Before American Tommy is able to finish a man dressed in an owl suit runs into the room. He jumps up on the desk a turns so his backside is facing American Tommy. The owl then proceeds to "shit" out a piece of paper into Tommy's hands. American Tommy lets a smirk come across his face, but immediately gets serious.
AMERICAN TOMMY: I have just received breaking news from my owl. Hold on a second.
American Tommy scans the letter and smiles looking into the camera. He walks behind the desk and sits down.
AMERICAN TOMMY: My owl has just informed me that Benny Stevens is indeed a liar once again. Using partial truths and not the full-fledged truth which you beautiful people rightfully deserve!
Tommy hits the table in frustration causing the coffee to spill a bit on the desk.
AMERICAN TOMMY: You see, here at, Harry Potter: News for Muggles I don't use alternative facts like these other news organizations. Alternative facts may be good enough for Donald Trump and Benny Stevens, but I have integrity and responsibility to give the real news. Anybody could sit up here and spout untrue things, naked while banging a bongo, but I do it with the truth in mind. The whole truth, nothing but the truth, so help me God!
American Tommy points to the screen behind him, which shows the published story about Benny Stevens getting arrested the 25th of January.
AMERICAN TOMMY: Benny Stevens would like you to think that he got arrested getting into a physical altercation with fans looking for his autograph. See, that’s how I knew something fishy was up. Nobody looking for that dude’s autograph. He was born from loser parents and he carries that loser legacy around with him like the only title belt he will ever win!
American Tommy crumples up the news release and throws it to the ground.
AMERICAN TOMMY: The next thing is it referenced him beating someone. There was no someone there. That was simply a euphemism that really just means Benny Stevens was jerking off in public. You see, Benny Stevens was in the middle of a drug trip when he was seen furiously masturbating to two rats having sex on the New York sidewalk in front of him.
American Tommy bangs his bongo on the desk and throws them off.
AMERICAN TOMMY: I’m suppose to tell you drugs are bad, but do them responsibly and you will be OK, kids. What Benny Stevens thought was fans asking for an autograph were actually pigeons trying to pick up the bread crumbs that fell out of the nearby trash can. He then got into an argument with the pigeons, that he obviously lost. The words he thought the birds were saying were just actual bird chirps, because birds can’t talk. He’s a fucking idiot.
The cops arrived soon after and tried to cuff Benjamin Stevens because he was masturbating, but were not able to right away. He had to be contained by force, because he proceeded to try and hump the police officer’s leg. My sources tell me that when you think of a chihuahua humping a large teddy bear is the perfect visual, because Benny Stevens is a very small man and the police officer was very large.
Obviously, the police officer didn’t like being humped by a drug addict and slammed his face into the concrete. Benny Stevens must have liked it, because he then proceeded to ask the police officer to spank him which the cop then put his night stick under Benny’s chin to try and suffocate him into not talking. Benny Stevens used this opportunity to perform sex acts on the night stick by pretending it was a phallus. It is not known if Benny Stevens achieved orgasm or not.
American Tommy shuffles some papers on his desk while looking for something.
AMERICAN TOMMY: As someone that delivers real news I was appalled by how somebody could abuse the news to try and make a situation benefit themselves. Hiring witnesses and bribing cops to change the reports is only something Benny’s agent Ashley Quid could have done. Shame on you Ashley, shame on you for lying to the public. The news is sacred and something that shouldn’t be used to tell false and partial truths. Luckily, I’m here and on my watch nothing like this will ever happen again! And shame on you, Benny Stevens.
The studio door suddenly opens and Dominic Lawson enters the room, looking at something out of framing and shaking his head. As he steps inside, Tommy stands up to his feet, forgetting he’s completely naked. Luckily for us, the camera moved behind Harry Potter’s back, giving the viewer another close up of his bare butt. Dominic seems disgusted, as he pulls back, covering his eyes with his hand, which is holding a letter.
DOMINIC LAWSON: What the fuck, Tommy? The hell are you doing naked?
AMERICAN TOMMY: Welcome to News For Muggles, Dom! I wasn’t expecting you…
DOMINIC LAWSON: Yeah I figured that out…
He quickly glances over his hand. Tommy is still standing there, naked.
DOMINIC LAWSON: Jesus son… Can you at least cover yourself?
AMERICAN TOMMY: Has Michael Jordan ever said, “I think LeBron James is better than me?”
DOMINIC LAWSON: Whatever.. I just found this stupid fucker dressed as a seagull running down the hallway making some weird noises… He bumped into me, I knocked him out… Can you believe he had this letter sticking out his ass?
AMERICAN TOMMY: That was my owl, not a seagull. My news-delivering owl actually. Do you know how hard is it to find a real owl that delivers things to me? PETA isn’t going to be very happy with you. Now give me the letter, it might be important…
Tommy extends his hand towards Dom, who stares at it.
DOMINIC LAWSON: Look kid… I’m not judging, but I’m not going anywhere close the hand of a naked man. I’ll leave the letter on this desk, ok?
And so he does, before turning away and leaving the room, mumbling and cussing. American Tommy opens the letter and reads it and his mouth drops. He sits down as quick as he stood up and throws all the papers on his desk on the floor, scattering them everywhere.
AMERICAN TOMMY: Gentlemen and I suppose ladies as well, I have received a disturbing letter from someone. Since this is live TV I’m just going to read the letter out loud.
Harry Potter-
I need help and help fast. I’m secretly being abused and there is nothing that I can do about it. I need the help of a wizard like you. Someone that killed Voldemort like you. Someone that saved the world from evil like you. Someone as handsome as you.
Help me,
T.P.O.H.S
American Tommy looks into the camera deadpanned and shakes his head.
AMERICAN TOMMY: This letter shakes me to the core. I will find you and I will help you, T.P.O.H.S! I give you my word.
American Tommy points to the camera and smirks.
AMERICAN TOMMY: My name is Harry Potter and this has been the news!
A man in the back counts down from 5 and yells cut. American Tommy stands up with his hands above his head showing everybody his glory.
AMERICAN TOMMY: I gotta go! Someone needs me!
American Tommy bolts from the room leaving his clothes behind in a pile still in front of his desk.
AMERICAN TOMMY: Nonsense! This newsroom IS my home!
American Tommy strips down naked and grabs his bongos. He pulls a chair up in front of the desk and sits down, placing the bongos on his lap.
AMERICAN TOMMY: Let’s get this show on the road, boys. Turn the lights on and count me down!
The lights in the room raise up and American Tommy is front and center. The sound of a electronic voice is heard in the background counting down from 5 and a short intro song is played. They point to American Tommy who gives a head nod.
AMERICAN TOMMY: Hello, America. This is Harry Potter and you are watching News for Muggles. The first story of the evening is…
American Tommy stands up with the bongos covering his junk and turns around showing the camera is ass. He grabs the cup of coffee on the desk and takes a drink as he scratches the back of his head. He lowers the cup of coffee and turns around as the coffee hides his nether regions.
AMERICAN TOMMY: Well, uh, you see...
Before American Tommy is able to finish a man dressed in an owl suit runs into the room. He jumps up on the desk a turns so his backside is facing American Tommy. The owl then proceeds to "shit" out a piece of paper into Tommy's hands. American Tommy lets a smirk come across his face, but immediately gets serious.
AMERICAN TOMMY: I have just received breaking news from my owl. Hold on a second.
American Tommy scans the letter and smiles looking into the camera. He walks behind the desk and sits down.
AMERICAN TOMMY: My owl has just informed me that Benny Stevens is indeed a liar once again. Using partial truths and not the full-fledged truth which you beautiful people rightfully deserve!
Tommy hits the table in frustration causing the coffee to spill a bit on the desk.
AMERICAN TOMMY: You see, here at, Harry Potter: News for Muggles I don't use alternative facts like these other news organizations. Alternative facts may be good enough for Donald Trump and Benny Stevens, but I have integrity and responsibility to give the real news. Anybody could sit up here and spout untrue things, naked while banging a bongo, but I do it with the truth in mind. The whole truth, nothing but the truth, so help me God!
American Tommy points to the screen behind him, which shows the published story about Benny Stevens getting arrested the 25th of January.
AMERICAN TOMMY: Benny Stevens would like you to think that he got arrested getting into a physical altercation with fans looking for his autograph. See, that’s how I knew something fishy was up. Nobody looking for that dude’s autograph. He was born from loser parents and he carries that loser legacy around with him like the only title belt he will ever win!
American Tommy crumples up the news release and throws it to the ground.
AMERICAN TOMMY: The next thing is it referenced him beating someone. There was no someone there. That was simply a euphemism that really just means Benny Stevens was jerking off in public. You see, Benny Stevens was in the middle of a drug trip when he was seen furiously masturbating to two rats having sex on the New York sidewalk in front of him.
American Tommy bangs his bongo on the desk and throws them off.
AMERICAN TOMMY: I’m suppose to tell you drugs are bad, but do them responsibly and you will be OK, kids. What Benny Stevens thought was fans asking for an autograph were actually pigeons trying to pick up the bread crumbs that fell out of the nearby trash can. He then got into an argument with the pigeons, that he obviously lost. The words he thought the birds were saying were just actual bird chirps, because birds can’t talk. He’s a fucking idiot.
The cops arrived soon after and tried to cuff Benjamin Stevens because he was masturbating, but were not able to right away. He had to be contained by force, because he proceeded to try and hump the police officer’s leg. My sources tell me that when you think of a chihuahua humping a large teddy bear is the perfect visual, because Benny Stevens is a very small man and the police officer was very large.
Obviously, the police officer didn’t like being humped by a drug addict and slammed his face into the concrete. Benny Stevens must have liked it, because he then proceeded to ask the police officer to spank him which the cop then put his night stick under Benny’s chin to try and suffocate him into not talking. Benny Stevens used this opportunity to perform sex acts on the night stick by pretending it was a phallus. It is not known if Benny Stevens achieved orgasm or not.
American Tommy shuffles some papers on his desk while looking for something.
AMERICAN TOMMY: As someone that delivers real news I was appalled by how somebody could abuse the news to try and make a situation benefit themselves. Hiring witnesses and bribing cops to change the reports is only something Benny’s agent Ashley Quid could have done. Shame on you Ashley, shame on you for lying to the public. The news is sacred and something that shouldn’t be used to tell false and partial truths. Luckily, I’m here and on my watch nothing like this will ever happen again! And shame on you, Benny Stevens.
The studio door suddenly opens and Dominic Lawson enters the room, looking at something out of framing and shaking his head. As he steps inside, Tommy stands up to his feet, forgetting he’s completely naked. Luckily for us, the camera moved behind Harry Potter’s back, giving the viewer another close up of his bare butt. Dominic seems disgusted, as he pulls back, covering his eyes with his hand, which is holding a letter.
DOMINIC LAWSON: What the fuck, Tommy? The hell are you doing naked?
AMERICAN TOMMY: Welcome to News For Muggles, Dom! I wasn’t expecting you…
DOMINIC LAWSON: Yeah I figured that out…
He quickly glances over his hand. Tommy is still standing there, naked.
DOMINIC LAWSON: Jesus son… Can you at least cover yourself?
AMERICAN TOMMY: Has Michael Jordan ever said, “I think LeBron James is better than me?”
DOMINIC LAWSON: Whatever.. I just found this stupid fucker dressed as a seagull running down the hallway making some weird noises… He bumped into me, I knocked him out… Can you believe he had this letter sticking out his ass?
AMERICAN TOMMY: That was my owl, not a seagull. My news-delivering owl actually. Do you know how hard is it to find a real owl that delivers things to me? PETA isn’t going to be very happy with you. Now give me the letter, it might be important…
Tommy extends his hand towards Dom, who stares at it.
DOMINIC LAWSON: Look kid… I’m not judging, but I’m not going anywhere close the hand of a naked man. I’ll leave the letter on this desk, ok?
And so he does, before turning away and leaving the room, mumbling and cussing. American Tommy opens the letter and reads it and his mouth drops. He sits down as quick as he stood up and throws all the papers on his desk on the floor, scattering them everywhere.
AMERICAN TOMMY: Gentlemen and I suppose ladies as well, I have received a disturbing letter from someone. Since this is live TV I’m just going to read the letter out loud.
Harry Potter-
I need help and help fast. I’m secretly being abused and there is nothing that I can do about it. I need the help of a wizard like you. Someone that killed Voldemort like you. Someone that saved the world from evil like you. Someone as handsome as you.
Help me,
T.P.O.H.S
American Tommy looks into the camera deadpanned and shakes his head.
AMERICAN TOMMY: This letter shakes me to the core. I will find you and I will help you, T.P.O.H.S! I give you my word.
American Tommy points to the camera and smirks.
AMERICAN TOMMY: My name is Harry Potter and this has been the news!
A man in the back counts down from 5 and yells cut. American Tommy stands up with his hands above his head showing everybody his glory.
AMERICAN TOMMY: I gotta go! Someone needs me!
American Tommy bolts from the room leaving his clothes behind in a pile still in front of his desk.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Amazing move there by-- Oh... Wait... Apparently there's still MORE activity going on backstage!
The driver starts the engine and Thirteen watches the hospital peel away. The car reaches a red light and suddenly the doors lock. The driver looks back at her, only his eyes visible to her.
THIRTEEN: What the...?
She looks at him with the thought of demanding an explanation, only to see looking back at her that familiar mask she's seen on AWE television recently. Thirteen sighs, closing her eyes, and sits back in her seat, entirely dejected, her head resting in her hand.
THIRTEEN: Of course. "Unlucky" Thirteen. So where are you taking me?
MASKED MAN: Somewhere away from the show.
THIRTEEN: Away from that ladder match, you mean.
He looks back at her, but says nothing more.
THIRTEEN: This is all because of T.S., isn’t it? He put you up to this? You know I don't have to be present at the event for Bindy to win that title, and me the company!
Again, silence. Taking a left turn, the car pulls off into a garage. Turning back, the masked man watches Thirteen, but she refuses to even look at him. Without a word, he leaves the car, locking it all the doors complete with safety locks. Just before he disappears from view, he removes the mask and Thirteen’s eyes widen. She leans forward, pressing her hands against the glass of the car window and gapes at him.
THIRTEEN: No way... that's--
NINA APPLEBAUM: What a night already! What a series of developments to keep track of, fight fans.
BRAD STOKES: What are you talking about? I haven’t been paying any attention I was so transfixed with that killer match we just led off with!
NINA APPLEBAUM: It was pretty spectacular!
BRAD STOKES: Can you believe that one guy won?
NINA APPLEBAUM: I can’t. And now, we’re in store for another one.
BRAD STOKES: Gonna be huge, Nina.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Two newcomers set to do battle in our opening festivities.
BRAD STOKES: Newcomers, but not rookies, Nina. An important distinction. Christian Jones and Tommy Stone both know their way around a wrestling ring! And get a load of Theo Refano, would you?
NINA APPLEBAUM: He’s wearing new glasses.
BRAD STOKES: RIGHT?! So FREAKIN’ Dynamic looking. Get that guy a championship belt. Easily the most striking man I’ve ever seen.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Theo Refano’s enhanced eyesight aside, let’s go to the action!
BRAD STOKES: Looking good, Theo!
When the bell rings, the two wrestlers meet in the center of the ring for a test of strength. Jones has the obvious size advantage as he transitions to a headlock on Stone. They walk back into the ropes and Jones sends Stone flying across the ring, trying for a back body drop attempt only for Tommy to drive his knee into Christian’s face. The knee pops Christian up and he eats a superkick from Tommy, but he doesn’t knock the larger man down. A second superkick does the job for Tommy as he hooks the leg
ON-
NINA APPLEBAUM: A lot of quickness there by Tommy Stone!
BRAD STOKES: But does he think there are only seven planets in our solar system?
Tommy doesn’t hesitate to try another pin, opting for a lateral press, but Jones powers out of it by launching Stone up and away from him.
NINA APPLEBAUM: A lot of strength on display from Christian Jones tonight!
Tommy’s up to his feet first and charges at Christian. In one swift motion, Christian captures Tommy and hoists him up above his head, in a military press and slams him onto the canvas. Jones goes on the attack, lifting Stone up and drilling him with a flurry of forearm strikes.
NINA APPLEBAUM: It seems like part of the challenge for Christian Jones tonight is to keep Tommy Stone down!
BRAD STOKES: He can’t. You can’t keep a good man down, Nina.
Leaving Tommy stunned in the center of the ring, Christian runs off the ropes and hits a devastating clothesline that turns Tommy inside out. Jones hits a quick standing elbow drop and drapes his arm across Stone’s chest
1…
TW-
NINA APPLEBAUM: Kickout there by Tommy Stone!
Jones gets up, dragging Stone along with him. A sharp elbow into Christian’s stomach doubles him over and allows Tommy a quick chance to catch his breath. Stone wraps his arm around the head of Jones and drives the bigger man to the mat with a DDT. Christian slowly staggers up to one knee, but it’s the perfect set-up for a shining wizard from Tommy Stone. Keeping up the pace, Stone heads up to the turnbuckle and jumps off the top rope for a picture perfect diving elbow drop.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Tommy hooks the leg for another pin! This could be it!
1…
TW--
NINA APPLEBAUM: Kickout by Christian Jones!
BRAD STOKES: Tommy’s gonna hit a man with glasses!
For a moment, Tommy turns to referee Theo Refano to argue, but shakes it off and turns back to Christian.
BRAD STOKES: Good call! He’s too handsome! TOO HANDSOME!
Stone stays on the attack, stomping down on Jones and not letting him get back to his feet. It takes Jones rolling out of the ring to create any separation between him and Stone.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Christian Jones trying to slow the action down a little.
Unfortunately for him, he’s landed in a prime position for Tommy to launch off the ropes and dive through them for a somersault suicide dive! But Christian manages to dodge it at the last second, forcing Tommy to roll up back to his feet and right into a Chin Chilla’!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Nicely done!
Jones picks up Stone and rolls him into the ring, following after him and going for the pin attempt.
1…
2…
THRE-
BRAD STOKES: A kickout by Tommy and the family stone!
Christian slaps the mat in frustration. Lifting Tommy up, Christian plants his knee into Stone’s abdomen and starts setting up for the 25 To Life. But while attempting to set Stone up in the crucifix position, he gets free and pushes off of Jones. And when Christian turns around, he gets a blast from Tommy in the form of a superkick and the Space Mountain! Jones goes crashing down onto the mat.
BRAD STOKES: Stone goes for the pin!
1…
2…
THRE-
NINA APPLEBAUM: Kickout by Christian Jones!
The running cutter wasn’t enough to put the big man down and Stone is aware of it. Instead of pouting, Tommy’s focus is on picking Christian up and while it takes a lot of strength to do so, he eventually gets Jones up on his feet. Getting Jones in a waist lock, Stone tries for his deadlift German suplex.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Christian Jones is a far bigger man than Tommy Stone. He just can’t get the needed energy behind that deadlift.
A window opens for Christian to send his elbow back into Tommy’s face and switches spots, getting Stone in the waist lock this go around.
BRAD STOKES: Nice reversal of fortune for Christian Jones!
For Jones, it’s easy to hit his German suplex, but he’s not satisfied with just one as the crowd is starting to rally behind him. With ease, Christian hits a second German and he staggers back up with Tommy, looking to complete the trifecta. But Stone gets a burst of energy, just enough to start moving away and into the ropes, trying to knock Jones off of him. Though, Christian holds on through an O’Connor roll and with his arms around Tommy’s waist, he starts lifting for the third. Instead, Stone sends his leg back into the groin of Jones, a low blow just in Theo Refano’s sight!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Uh oh! Theo Refano saw that! He’s calling for the bell!
BRAD STOKES: IS that…? IT IS! The first low blow/illegal action Theo Refano has EVER spotted! Damn those new glasses are sharp!
DING! DING! DING!
“No More Mr. Nice Guy” by Ace Hood kicks in. Tommy Stone is quick to plead his case to Theo, gesturing toward his bad knee for the reasoning behind the low blow, but it’s too late. Theo Refano is having none of it.
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: Here is your winner… by Disqualification… CHRISTIAN…. JOOOONES.
NINA APPLEBAUM: A difficult pill to swallow undoubtedly for Tommy Stone. That was an obvious mistake on the part of Theo Refano.
BRAD STOKES: Are you calling this new and improved Theo Refano a liar?
NINA APPLEBAUM: No, but he had a hair trigger there with that call.
BRAD STOKES: Those glasses improve his eyesight. I think you’d be impressed with the fact he saw that. He used to miss everything!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Well, this could be the beginning of a reasonably startling new trend in the AWE. A referee that calls the match.
BRAD STOKES: Striking.
NINA APPLEBAUM: While we get set up for our next match, I’m receiving word there’s still more going on backstage. We take you there now.
American Tommy is seen wandering the halls, fully clothed when he runs into Zack Fantana.
AMERICAN TOMMY: How gigantic of an asshole do you actually have?
Zack squints at American Tommy.
ZACK FANTANA: That's a terrible icebreaker.
Zack begins to nonchalantly walk away.
ZACK FANTANA: Just reference my match.com profile.
Before Tommy can say something his owl shits another letter onto the floor. Zack goes to pick it up, but Tommy picks it up before he can.
AMERICAN TOMMY: This isn’t for muggles, muggle.
American Tommy opens it and reads the letter.
AMERICAN TOMMY:
Zack Fantana just stands there and American Tommy looks at him.
AMERICAN TOMMY: You know a T.P.O.H.S?
Zack scratches his head.
ZACK FANTANA: I think that was the name of the school in Risky Business.
American Tommy walks off with the letter in his hand leaving Zack doing whatever Zack was doing.
AMERICAN TOMMY: How gigantic of an asshole do you actually have?
Zack squints at American Tommy.
ZACK FANTANA: That's a terrible icebreaker.
Zack begins to nonchalantly walk away.
ZACK FANTANA: Just reference my match.com profile.
Before Tommy can say something his owl shits another letter onto the floor. Zack goes to pick it up, but Tommy picks it up before he can.
AMERICAN TOMMY: This isn’t for muggles, muggle.
American Tommy opens it and reads the letter.
AMERICAN TOMMY:
Harry Potter-
I feel unwanted with the lack of attention I’ve been getting. The unwanted attention I get just beats me. My best friend is an asshole too! Help, quick!
T.P.O.H.S
I feel unwanted with the lack of attention I’ve been getting. The unwanted attention I get just beats me. My best friend is an asshole too! Help, quick!
T.P.O.H.S
Zack Fantana just stands there and American Tommy looks at him.
AMERICAN TOMMY: You know a T.P.O.H.S?
Zack scratches his head.
ZACK FANTANA: I think that was the name of the school in Risky Business.
American Tommy walks off with the letter in his hand leaving Zack doing whatever Zack was doing.
NINA APPLEBAUM: A lot of goings on backstage.
BRAD STOKES: Is this your first wrestling show, or something? Of course there are.
NINA APPLEBAUM: You're continued support is always welcome, Bradley.
BRAD STOKES: I'm a giver. And would you look at this, Nina? Likely my PERSONAL favorite match of the evening.
NINA APPLEBAUM: ON account of--
BRAD STOKES: If you say his name I'll puke.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Benny Stevens?
BRAD STOKES: Nah, he's all right.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Well, he's set to do battle against Hunter Storms, and--
BRAD STOKES: The guy I hope dies.
NINA APPLEBUM: Right. Him. And look how focused Benny looks.
BRAD STOKES: Looks like someone owes him money, Nina.
NINA APPLEBAUM: There's been a lot of emotion and fire brought to bear in this match. And all of it centers around--
BRAD STOKES: Say his name and I shank ya.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Yeesh!
BRAD STOKES: Is this your first wrestling show, or something? Of course there are.
NINA APPLEBAUM: You're continued support is always welcome, Bradley.
BRAD STOKES: I'm a giver. And would you look at this, Nina? Likely my PERSONAL favorite match of the evening.
NINA APPLEBAUM: ON account of--
BRAD STOKES: If you say his name I'll puke.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Benny Stevens?
BRAD STOKES: Nah, he's all right.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Well, he's set to do battle against Hunter Storms, and--
BRAD STOKES: The guy I hope dies.
NINA APPLEBUM: Right. Him. And look how focused Benny looks.
BRAD STOKES: Looks like someone owes him money, Nina.
NINA APPLEBAUM: There's been a lot of emotion and fire brought to bear in this match. And all of it centers around--
BRAD STOKES: Say his name and I shank ya.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Yeesh!
Before the match can even start American Tommy’s music comes through the speakers as AWE personnel bring out a makeshift desk and chair, putting it on the top of the ramp.
BRAD STOKES: Oh, good.
NINA APPLEBAUM: It likely isn't good, Brad.
BRAD STOKES: Sure it is. Gives me time to make a weapon powerful enough to kill Dom Lawson.
NINA APPLEBAUM: You said his name!
BRAD STOKES: I can say it cause I'm going to kill him. You can't. That's a rule where I come from, Nina.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Always teaching me something.
American Tommy comes out to a roar, microphone in hand, and sits down at his desk overlooking the ring. American Tommy motions to the crowd and then points down at Benny Stevens, who isn’t his usual chipper self.
AMERICAN TOMMY: You see them out there, Benny. Those are actual fans. You know the people you…
American Tommy does air quotes.
AMERICAN TOMMY: "beat up".
The crowd laughs and starts to chant Tommy’s name. He motions for the crowd to quiet down and they do.
AMERICAN TOMMY: I appreciate it. I really do, but we have some serious matters that I need to divulge to everybody. As everybody as seen, other than my huge penis, that I have been receiving some letters this evening from someone in need. Some dark letters for that matter and they were signed, T.P.O.H.S.
I’ve asked around asking fans and wrestlers alike about these initials and if they know who they were. Everybody was very helpful and really wanted to help, because of the serious nature of the letters, but nobody could. I went back to my newsroom and stared at the letters for probably like, 2 minutes maybe, and I finally figured it out. I know what the initials T.P.O.H.S stand for and this is why I am out here right now.
Hunter Storms! These letters are not only about you, but they are from you! T.P.O.H.S doesn’t stand for The Person of Hubert Smalls, like the cook thought. Those initials clearly mean that the letters were from The Penis of Hunter Storms!
Hunter Storms looks displeased and not amused as Dominic Lawson has a smirk on his face. Benny Stevens hasn’t taken his eyes off Dominic Lawson and is ignoring American Tommy completely.
AMERICAN TOMMY: I’m appalled, not at the fact that I have got a letter from your penis saying you masturbate too much, but from the fact that it said I was handsome! Why did I have to learn about his from your penis and not you? I mean, I’m not that way, but it still doesn’t mean I’m not flattered! Now listen, Hunter. You can apologize to Dom and he will help you out. He’ll still beat your face in and then beat whoever has the title at his next opportunity, but he will also help you get laid and give that right hand of yours a break...or your left hand...or if you sit on it so you can’t feel your hand and it feels like a stranger. I’m not judging or debating practices with you. I’m just saying there is light at the end of the tunnel and that light is Dominic Lawson. Think about it Hunter, but please give your penis a break or a friend in the form of a vagina for that matter.
American Tommy stands up and climbs on his desk where he is standing tall. The crowd is loving him and he is loving the crowd. He points down to the ring with a smile.
AMERICAN TOMMY: My name is Harry Potter and this has been the news!
American Tommy waves to the crowd, pretends to kiss a few babies, but doesn’t because they are disgusting and walks to the back as the crowd chants his name. With Tommy cleared out, you can’t really hear the ding of the bell of the loud din of the crowd, but Benny hears it. He slams a hard elbow into Dom Lawson’s jaw knocking him senseless and before long Benny is stomping a mudhole down onto Dom who huddles into a ball, paying no mind to Hunter who watches momentarily from the sidelines before approaching slowly watching Benny vent his frustrations.
NINA APPLEBAUM: It’s quite clear Benny Stevens did not come here for Hunter, for the fans, for American Tommy, he came here for—
BRAD STOKES: Don’t say it. Just a few moments more and I’ll have constructed the demise of Dom Lawson.
NINA APPLEBAUM: That looks like a straw.
BRAD STOKES: To the untrained eye, Nina.
Benny finally notices Hunter and eyes him down.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Some tension here, possibly.
Hunter promptly joins Benny in laying boots down on Dom Lawson!
NINA APPLEBAUM: And the two of them are going to work on—
BRAD STOKES: Say his name and you get what he’s gonna get.
NINA APPLEBAUM: You’re very passionate about this, aren’t you?
BRAD STOKES: They may beat him physically. But I, also, will beat him physically. Check this out.
Cameras cut to Brad Stokes at the announce desk holding up a straw.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Whatcha got, Bradley?
BRAD STOKES: Check it.
Brad rips a piece of paper off one of the many sheets on the announce desk, wads it up, sets it in his mouth, places the straw to his mouth and spits it through the straw at Dom Lawson.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Spitballs?
BRAD STOKES: He should never have messed with me. HAHAHA! GOT EM.
Hard to say whether they have any effect while Dom Lawson is being viciously stomped down on by both Hunter and Benny.
NINA APPLEBAUM: I suppose this is what happens when you have so many enemies.
BRAD STOKES: Notice how I don’t have my super chair anymore, Nina? I had to sell it to pay for the damage done to my car.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Oh no!
BRAD STOKES: OH YEAH! DOM MUST DIE.
While Brad shoots another spitball at Dom, and Hunter and Benny lay into him, Dom grips the rope for leverage and sends both feet up into either of his attacker’s chests, knocking both Benny and Hunter backwards and giving Dom time to bounce to his feet looking worn and beaten. Just then a spit ball wad smacks off his face.
BRAD STOKES: TAKE THAT!
Dom is visibly flustered by the wet wad of paper but wastes no time, he rushes Benny and Hunter and lays them out with a double clothesline then flips Brad Stokes off with both fingers before laying retaliatory stomps down onto Benny Stevens before Hunter is up and swiftly sends Dom right back down with a wicked spinebuster!
NINA APPLEBAUM: So far it looks to be Dom Lawson versus Benny Stevens and Hunter Storms. This grudge match has turned itself into a handicap match.
BRAD STOKES: I’m helping. Making this a 3 on 1.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Yes, I see that.
BRAD STOKES: HAHA! Did you see the one I shot and landed on Theo Refano’s glasses? And they're new too, he doesn't even notice!What a putz!
Dom aims to roll himself out of the ring before Hunter can capitalize, but Storms grips him by the neck and tugs him up to his feet. But Dom is fast to fire back in defense at Hunter. Landing stiff shots that straighten Hunter Storms before Dom kicks Hunter right down and goes to work stomping on him!
NINA APPLEBAUM: And so little time before Benny Stevens is laying into him again!
BRAD STOKES: Just desserts!
Benny is all rage and focus as he tugs Dom up to his feet and lays some stiff shots into Dom Lawson before whipping him for the ropes! Before Dom can rebound he cleverly grips the rope and uses the momentum to slide himself out of the ring under the ropes.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Nicely done by Dom Lawson.
BRAD STOKES: He’s too far away from my spitballs. This is bullshit.
Dom is in obvious pain and distress as he frustratedly paces ringside trying to clear his head but not before Benny Stevens surprisingly launches himself over the ropes into a slingshot senton that topples Dom Lawson!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Dom Lawson pissed off the wrong people.
BRAD STOKES: You’re damn right.
Hunter Storms is on his feet and moving out of the ring to join Benny Stevens who has Dom Lawson down and has begun severely punching down into Dom’s face. Hunter moves and looks for an opening before Benny angrily pushes Hunter away and goes back to work.
NINA APPLEBAUM: This is a side of Beny Stevens we don’t often see, and he may have just annoyed Hunter Storms.
BRAD STOKES: It’s true. Benny’s looking slightly more… I don’t know, violent?
Hunter pulls Benny off of Dom, who is split open with a bloody forehead and nose after Benny’s beating. Benny levels a stiff shot into Hunter Storms that staggers him!
NINA APPLEBAUM: So much for that truce.
BRAD STOKES: Aw, man! We had a good thing going here, team.
Hunter angrily charges Benny and flattens him with a lariat and begins furiously stomping down onto Benny!
NINA APPLEBAUM: It was only a matter of time!
Dom rises to his feet using the guardrail, checking his bleeding head and nose and watching Hunter beatdown Benny. Dom moves off towards the ring to peek under the apron.
BRAD STOKES: That guy’s a snake.
NINA APPLEBAUM: This is a No DQ Match, anything goes.
Dom goes fishing, about to pull something out from under the ring before Hunter charges him and boots him deeper under the ring!
BRAD STOKES: NICE! WIPEOUT!
Hunter leans down and drags Dom out only to get butted in the neck with the blunt end of a baseball bat that staggers Hunter backward choking grievously!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Hunter Storms is in trouble.
Dom grudgingly stalks after Hunter and lays a swing of the bat into Hunter’s stomach to double him over before beating him down to the concrete with the bat across his back!
BRAD STOKES: BOOO! This asshole cannot be allowed to survive! And I can’t get a bead on him with my spitballs!
NINA APPLEBAUM: In a bad way, aren’t you Bradley?
BRAD STOKES: You got that right!
Hunter tries to get up but Dom slams the bat back down onto his back to keep him immobilized only to get sideswiped by a sudden tornado DDT from Benny Stevens onto Dom that slams Lawson’s head back down onto the pavement!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Each of these men has taken a beating! None moreso than Dom Lawson.
BRAD STOKES: It’s his comeuppance, Nina. You said it yourself. He’s been on a tear making enemies left and right. I think the only ally he’s got backstage is Tommy, and he’s all out of news!
Benny Stevens is all business as he grabs Dom unceremoniously by the neck and the waist of his pants and rolls him into the ring! Hunter Storms is just rising to his feet as Benny angrily curb stomps Hunter down into the concrete!
BRAD STOKES: Gotta love that brutality. Weird to see it coming out of Benny Stevens!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Definitely not the Benny Stevens we’re used to showing his face tonight!
Benny climbs onto the apron, and hops onto the ropes overlooking the fallen and bloodied Dom Lawson! Without much fanfare or theatrics, Benny leaps off the ropes and SLAMS down onto Dom with a shooting star leg drop!
NINA APPLEBAUM: THE VAPORWAVE!!!! BENNY STEVENS WITH THE COVER!
Hunter Storms’ face is bloodied on the outside as Theo Refano slides in for the count!
1…
2…
3!!!
“Sex Type Thing” Blasts onto the speakers as Benny gets to his feet and lifts an arm, spitting down onto Dom Lawson.
NINA APPLEBAUM: With authority. Benny Stevens came out here tonight to prove a point and settle a score, and he’s done it.
BRAD STOKES: AND IT WAS SO DAMN SWEET, NINA! DOM LAWSON BETTER BE DEAD!
NINA APPLEBAUM: No, he’s still moving.
BRAD STOKES: Well damn. Bet that guy in the crowd with the Dom Lawson sign gotta feel pretty stupid.
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: Here is your winner… BENNY…. STEEEEVENNNSSS!
Benny barely lets the ref lift his arm before pulling it away and sliding out of the ring and making his way up the ramp.
NINA APPLEBAUM: A bloody mess, folks, but the score is settled. And we're free to keep chugging along. But, right now, we’ve got something else happening backstage, so we’re going to take this opportunity to clean up the ring and we’ll be back shortly with more wrestling action!
BRAD STOKES: Oh, good.
NINA APPLEBAUM: It likely isn't good, Brad.
BRAD STOKES: Sure it is. Gives me time to make a weapon powerful enough to kill Dom Lawson.
NINA APPLEBAUM: You said his name!
BRAD STOKES: I can say it cause I'm going to kill him. You can't. That's a rule where I come from, Nina.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Always teaching me something.
American Tommy comes out to a roar, microphone in hand, and sits down at his desk overlooking the ring. American Tommy motions to the crowd and then points down at Benny Stevens, who isn’t his usual chipper self.
AMERICAN TOMMY: You see them out there, Benny. Those are actual fans. You know the people you…
American Tommy does air quotes.
AMERICAN TOMMY: "beat up".
The crowd laughs and starts to chant Tommy’s name. He motions for the crowd to quiet down and they do.
AMERICAN TOMMY: I appreciate it. I really do, but we have some serious matters that I need to divulge to everybody. As everybody as seen, other than my huge penis, that I have been receiving some letters this evening from someone in need. Some dark letters for that matter and they were signed, T.P.O.H.S.
I’ve asked around asking fans and wrestlers alike about these initials and if they know who they were. Everybody was very helpful and really wanted to help, because of the serious nature of the letters, but nobody could. I went back to my newsroom and stared at the letters for probably like, 2 minutes maybe, and I finally figured it out. I know what the initials T.P.O.H.S stand for and this is why I am out here right now.
Hunter Storms! These letters are not only about you, but they are from you! T.P.O.H.S doesn’t stand for The Person of Hubert Smalls, like the cook thought. Those initials clearly mean that the letters were from The Penis of Hunter Storms!
Hunter Storms looks displeased and not amused as Dominic Lawson has a smirk on his face. Benny Stevens hasn’t taken his eyes off Dominic Lawson and is ignoring American Tommy completely.
AMERICAN TOMMY: I’m appalled, not at the fact that I have got a letter from your penis saying you masturbate too much, but from the fact that it said I was handsome! Why did I have to learn about his from your penis and not you? I mean, I’m not that way, but it still doesn’t mean I’m not flattered! Now listen, Hunter. You can apologize to Dom and he will help you out. He’ll still beat your face in and then beat whoever has the title at his next opportunity, but he will also help you get laid and give that right hand of yours a break...or your left hand...or if you sit on it so you can’t feel your hand and it feels like a stranger. I’m not judging or debating practices with you. I’m just saying there is light at the end of the tunnel and that light is Dominic Lawson. Think about it Hunter, but please give your penis a break or a friend in the form of a vagina for that matter.
American Tommy stands up and climbs on his desk where he is standing tall. The crowd is loving him and he is loving the crowd. He points down to the ring with a smile.
AMERICAN TOMMY: My name is Harry Potter and this has been the news!
American Tommy waves to the crowd, pretends to kiss a few babies, but doesn’t because they are disgusting and walks to the back as the crowd chants his name. With Tommy cleared out, you can’t really hear the ding of the bell of the loud din of the crowd, but Benny hears it. He slams a hard elbow into Dom Lawson’s jaw knocking him senseless and before long Benny is stomping a mudhole down onto Dom who huddles into a ball, paying no mind to Hunter who watches momentarily from the sidelines before approaching slowly watching Benny vent his frustrations.
NINA APPLEBAUM: It’s quite clear Benny Stevens did not come here for Hunter, for the fans, for American Tommy, he came here for—
BRAD STOKES: Don’t say it. Just a few moments more and I’ll have constructed the demise of Dom Lawson.
NINA APPLEBAUM: That looks like a straw.
BRAD STOKES: To the untrained eye, Nina.
Benny finally notices Hunter and eyes him down.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Some tension here, possibly.
Hunter promptly joins Benny in laying boots down on Dom Lawson!
NINA APPLEBAUM: And the two of them are going to work on—
BRAD STOKES: Say his name and you get what he’s gonna get.
NINA APPLEBAUM: You’re very passionate about this, aren’t you?
BRAD STOKES: They may beat him physically. But I, also, will beat him physically. Check this out.
Cameras cut to Brad Stokes at the announce desk holding up a straw.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Whatcha got, Bradley?
BRAD STOKES: Check it.
Brad rips a piece of paper off one of the many sheets on the announce desk, wads it up, sets it in his mouth, places the straw to his mouth and spits it through the straw at Dom Lawson.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Spitballs?
BRAD STOKES: He should never have messed with me. HAHAHA! GOT EM.
Hard to say whether they have any effect while Dom Lawson is being viciously stomped down on by both Hunter and Benny.
NINA APPLEBAUM: I suppose this is what happens when you have so many enemies.
BRAD STOKES: Notice how I don’t have my super chair anymore, Nina? I had to sell it to pay for the damage done to my car.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Oh no!
BRAD STOKES: OH YEAH! DOM MUST DIE.
While Brad shoots another spitball at Dom, and Hunter and Benny lay into him, Dom grips the rope for leverage and sends both feet up into either of his attacker’s chests, knocking both Benny and Hunter backwards and giving Dom time to bounce to his feet looking worn and beaten. Just then a spit ball wad smacks off his face.
BRAD STOKES: TAKE THAT!
Dom is visibly flustered by the wet wad of paper but wastes no time, he rushes Benny and Hunter and lays them out with a double clothesline then flips Brad Stokes off with both fingers before laying retaliatory stomps down onto Benny Stevens before Hunter is up and swiftly sends Dom right back down with a wicked spinebuster!
NINA APPLEBAUM: So far it looks to be Dom Lawson versus Benny Stevens and Hunter Storms. This grudge match has turned itself into a handicap match.
BRAD STOKES: I’m helping. Making this a 3 on 1.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Yes, I see that.
BRAD STOKES: HAHA! Did you see the one I shot and landed on Theo Refano’s glasses? And they're new too, he doesn't even notice!What a putz!
Dom aims to roll himself out of the ring before Hunter can capitalize, but Storms grips him by the neck and tugs him up to his feet. But Dom is fast to fire back in defense at Hunter. Landing stiff shots that straighten Hunter Storms before Dom kicks Hunter right down and goes to work stomping on him!
NINA APPLEBAUM: And so little time before Benny Stevens is laying into him again!
BRAD STOKES: Just desserts!
Benny is all rage and focus as he tugs Dom up to his feet and lays some stiff shots into Dom Lawson before whipping him for the ropes! Before Dom can rebound he cleverly grips the rope and uses the momentum to slide himself out of the ring under the ropes.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Nicely done by Dom Lawson.
BRAD STOKES: He’s too far away from my spitballs. This is bullshit.
Dom is in obvious pain and distress as he frustratedly paces ringside trying to clear his head but not before Benny Stevens surprisingly launches himself over the ropes into a slingshot senton that topples Dom Lawson!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Dom Lawson pissed off the wrong people.
BRAD STOKES: You’re damn right.
Hunter Storms is on his feet and moving out of the ring to join Benny Stevens who has Dom Lawson down and has begun severely punching down into Dom’s face. Hunter moves and looks for an opening before Benny angrily pushes Hunter away and goes back to work.
NINA APPLEBAUM: This is a side of Beny Stevens we don’t often see, and he may have just annoyed Hunter Storms.
BRAD STOKES: It’s true. Benny’s looking slightly more… I don’t know, violent?
Hunter pulls Benny off of Dom, who is split open with a bloody forehead and nose after Benny’s beating. Benny levels a stiff shot into Hunter Storms that staggers him!
NINA APPLEBAUM: So much for that truce.
BRAD STOKES: Aw, man! We had a good thing going here, team.
Hunter angrily charges Benny and flattens him with a lariat and begins furiously stomping down onto Benny!
NINA APPLEBAUM: It was only a matter of time!
Dom rises to his feet using the guardrail, checking his bleeding head and nose and watching Hunter beatdown Benny. Dom moves off towards the ring to peek under the apron.
BRAD STOKES: That guy’s a snake.
NINA APPLEBAUM: This is a No DQ Match, anything goes.
Dom goes fishing, about to pull something out from under the ring before Hunter charges him and boots him deeper under the ring!
BRAD STOKES: NICE! WIPEOUT!
Hunter leans down and drags Dom out only to get butted in the neck with the blunt end of a baseball bat that staggers Hunter backward choking grievously!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Hunter Storms is in trouble.
Dom grudgingly stalks after Hunter and lays a swing of the bat into Hunter’s stomach to double him over before beating him down to the concrete with the bat across his back!
BRAD STOKES: BOOO! This asshole cannot be allowed to survive! And I can’t get a bead on him with my spitballs!
NINA APPLEBAUM: In a bad way, aren’t you Bradley?
BRAD STOKES: You got that right!
Hunter tries to get up but Dom slams the bat back down onto his back to keep him immobilized only to get sideswiped by a sudden tornado DDT from Benny Stevens onto Dom that slams Lawson’s head back down onto the pavement!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Each of these men has taken a beating! None moreso than Dom Lawson.
BRAD STOKES: It’s his comeuppance, Nina. You said it yourself. He’s been on a tear making enemies left and right. I think the only ally he’s got backstage is Tommy, and he’s all out of news!
Benny Stevens is all business as he grabs Dom unceremoniously by the neck and the waist of his pants and rolls him into the ring! Hunter Storms is just rising to his feet as Benny angrily curb stomps Hunter down into the concrete!
BRAD STOKES: Gotta love that brutality. Weird to see it coming out of Benny Stevens!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Definitely not the Benny Stevens we’re used to showing his face tonight!
Benny climbs onto the apron, and hops onto the ropes overlooking the fallen and bloodied Dom Lawson! Without much fanfare or theatrics, Benny leaps off the ropes and SLAMS down onto Dom with a shooting star leg drop!
NINA APPLEBAUM: THE VAPORWAVE!!!! BENNY STEVENS WITH THE COVER!
Hunter Storms’ face is bloodied on the outside as Theo Refano slides in for the count!
1…
2…
3!!!
DING! DING! DING!
“Sex Type Thing” Blasts onto the speakers as Benny gets to his feet and lifts an arm, spitting down onto Dom Lawson.
NINA APPLEBAUM: With authority. Benny Stevens came out here tonight to prove a point and settle a score, and he’s done it.
BRAD STOKES: AND IT WAS SO DAMN SWEET, NINA! DOM LAWSON BETTER BE DEAD!
NINA APPLEBAUM: No, he’s still moving.
BRAD STOKES: Well damn. Bet that guy in the crowd with the Dom Lawson sign gotta feel pretty stupid.
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: Here is your winner… BENNY…. STEEEEVENNNSSS!
Benny barely lets the ref lift his arm before pulling it away and sliding out of the ring and making his way up the ramp.
NINA APPLEBAUM: A bloody mess, folks, but the score is settled. And we're free to keep chugging along. But, right now, we’ve got something else happening backstage, so we’re going to take this opportunity to clean up the ring and we’ll be back shortly with more wrestling action!
Backstage, Francis has evidently arrived safely. He moves briskly through the corridor.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: That’s exactly right, I want fireworks. None of those wussy fireworks they got in China, either. Real fireworks. Like Gundam had in that Lord From the Rings movies.
Francis moves his hands, making small ‘kapow’ noises with his mouth. Beside him, an assistant is quickly jotting these random and somewhat whimsical ideas down trying to keep up with him.
ASSISTANT: Gundam. Lord. From. Rings. Got it.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: And clowns, everyone loves clowns. I need so many clowns you can’t see anything BUT clowns. Thirteen probably loves clowns.
ASSISTANT: Clowns? You're sure?
He pauses.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: That’s what I said. Wait, no, not clowns. Why did I think clowns?
He stops to consider, scratches his head then clicks his fingers and keeps walking ever more briskly.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: I meant pirates. She loves pirates. I want pirates being fired out of cannons on pirate ships ran by other pirates. We’re going for a pirate theme, you got that, Jim?
ASSISTANT: It’s Jeff, actually.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Even better! So read it back to me, Jack.
ASSISTANT: Right. So, so far, we’ve got a giant animatronic dinosaur From Jurassic--
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Number 3. Not the earlier ones. I only watch sequels.
ASSISTANT: Right. A spaceship, a laser show, pirates--
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: On ice skates.
The assistant stuttered and eyed Francis uncertain if he was serious. Francis was.
ASSISTANT: Okay, and some crazy fireworks. What exactly are we planning here, sir?
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: It’s just like I told you. A little welcome back party for Thirteen. I’d do the same for you, Jake.
Francis’ pocket vibrates and he pulls out his phone, smirking to the assistant as he flips it open. Whilst Francis reads the message, moving the phone very close to his face, the lights in the corridor flicker. Between bouts of darkness a figure can be seen moving up behind the pair. The figure throws a bag over the assistant’s head and the corridor darkens entirely for a couple of seconds. When the lights return, the assistant is gone.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Excellent. My giant novelty cake shaped like my head is en route. We're gonna be eating me tonight. It’s all falling into place, Jessie.
He flips the phone closed, looking back to the assistant who’s no longer there.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Oh. Good thinking. Gotta get this ball rolling. Early bird does the worm. Love that hustle.
Smiling, Francis continues along the corridor whistling Enrique Iglesias’ ‘Hero’ tunefully. He finds his office, the “FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA” plaque shimmering from its polishing earlier that day. He opens the door and steps inward. Stopping and looking down, Francis sighs.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Who left this here?
Francis effortlessly disarms the open bear-trap set just before his door and shakes his head with disappointment.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: That’s a really stupid place for something like that.
He picks the closed trap up, struggling to move it, and sets it aside in the room amidst a pile of props and bizarre mime memorabilia.
MASKED MAN: How did you avoid my traps, old man? Effortlessly moving through the minefield; a decoy in the corridor; disarming the beartrap; missing the-
The masked man stops in his tracks, looking down at Francis, who is asleep at the desk snoring loudly.
MASKED MAN: ….Wow.
Shaking his head, the masked man sits Francis up and tapes around his waist and arms, securing him to the chair. Francis never stirs and the sound of his own snoring drowns out any hope of him hearing the intruder.
With his work done, the masked man leaves Francis alone in the office.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: That’s exactly right, I want fireworks. None of those wussy fireworks they got in China, either. Real fireworks. Like Gundam had in that Lord From the Rings movies.
Francis moves his hands, making small ‘kapow’ noises with his mouth. Beside him, an assistant is quickly jotting these random and somewhat whimsical ideas down trying to keep up with him.
ASSISTANT: Gundam. Lord. From. Rings. Got it.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: And clowns, everyone loves clowns. I need so many clowns you can’t see anything BUT clowns. Thirteen probably loves clowns.
ASSISTANT: Clowns? You're sure?
He pauses.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: That’s what I said. Wait, no, not clowns. Why did I think clowns?
He stops to consider, scratches his head then clicks his fingers and keeps walking ever more briskly.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: I meant pirates. She loves pirates. I want pirates being fired out of cannons on pirate ships ran by other pirates. We’re going for a pirate theme, you got that, Jim?
ASSISTANT: It’s Jeff, actually.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Even better! So read it back to me, Jack.
ASSISTANT: Right. So, so far, we’ve got a giant animatronic dinosaur From Jurassic--
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Number 3. Not the earlier ones. I only watch sequels.
ASSISTANT: Right. A spaceship, a laser show, pirates--
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: On ice skates.
The assistant stuttered and eyed Francis uncertain if he was serious. Francis was.
ASSISTANT: Okay, and some crazy fireworks. What exactly are we planning here, sir?
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: It’s just like I told you. A little welcome back party for Thirteen. I’d do the same for you, Jake.
Francis’ pocket vibrates and he pulls out his phone, smirking to the assistant as he flips it open. Whilst Francis reads the message, moving the phone very close to his face, the lights in the corridor flicker. Between bouts of darkness a figure can be seen moving up behind the pair. The figure throws a bag over the assistant’s head and the corridor darkens entirely for a couple of seconds. When the lights return, the assistant is gone.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Excellent. My giant novelty cake shaped like my head is en route. We're gonna be eating me tonight. It’s all falling into place, Jessie.
He flips the phone closed, looking back to the assistant who’s no longer there.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Oh. Good thinking. Gotta get this ball rolling. Early bird does the worm. Love that hustle.
Smiling, Francis continues along the corridor whistling Enrique Iglesias’ ‘Hero’ tunefully. He finds his office, the “FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA” plaque shimmering from its polishing earlier that day. He opens the door and steps inward. Stopping and looking down, Francis sighs.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Who left this here?
Francis effortlessly disarms the open bear-trap set just before his door and shakes his head with disappointment.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: That’s a really stupid place for something like that.
He picks the closed trap up, struggling to move it, and sets it aside in the room amidst a pile of props and bizarre mime memorabilia.
MASKED MAN: How did you avoid my traps, old man? Effortlessly moving through the minefield; a decoy in the corridor; disarming the beartrap; missing the-
The masked man stops in his tracks, looking down at Francis, who is asleep at the desk snoring loudly.
MASKED MAN: ….Wow.
Shaking his head, the masked man sits Francis up and tapes around his waist and arms, securing him to the chair. Francis never stirs and the sound of his own snoring drowns out any hope of him hearing the intruder.
With his work done, the masked man leaves Francis alone in the office.
BRAD STOKES: If I didn’t know better, Nina, I’d say someone were systematically removing the shareholders of the AWE.
NINA APPLEBAUM: That’s exactly what it looks like!
BRAD STOKES: Yeah, but I said if I "didn’t know better". Which I do. There's no pattern emerging, these are obviously lone wolf attacks.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Okay, first of all, that Masked Man is the same masked man that terrorized one of our backstage interviewers at Massacre #6!
BRAD STOKES: Sam Young had it coming, if you ask me. Don't forget that time he falsely reported on the Bowling Green Massacre.
NINA APPLEBAUM: There was no-- Look, that Masked Man was also last seen meeting with T.S. in his office at the END of Massacre #6!
BRAD STOKES: And I can make myself look like a giant with clever use of camera angles, Nina.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Well, it’s pretty easy to see that T.S. is removing the competition. There’s no telling what that Masked Man is going to do next.
BRAD STOKES: This is all conjecture and hearsay. I don’t believe any of it, and frankly, you’re forgetting the simple fact that T.S. Elliot has never hurt anyone ever.
NINA APPLEBAUM: He put Thirteen in the hospital!
BRAD STOKES: That footage was conveniently erased!
NINA APPLEBAUM: You’re covering for him.
BRAD STOKES: He’s buying me a new car.
NINA APPLEBAUM: You sold out!
BRAD STOKES: I GOT FIVE KIDS TO FEED!
NINA APPLEBAUM: NO YOU DON'T!
BRAD STOKES: HOW DARE YOU QUESTION MY LEGITIMACY YOU FILTHY BI--
Inside the ring Jessie Roberts, Aaron Pace, Hubert Smalls and Caroline O’Hara Burchill move from the individual corners, eyes locked amongst themselves before Hubert Smalls makes the first move and locks up with Aaron Pace, catching him off guard and the two men suddenly begin jockeying for a power position inside of a collar and elbow tie up. The sudden move spurs Caroline Burchill into dropkicking Jessie Roberts hard, sending her reeling back against the ropes.
NINA APPLEBAUM: And just like that this match is underway for the #1 Contendership to the Paramount Championship. One of these four competitors will go on eventually to face Stoker, Owen Salvo or Dom DiBona at a later date!
BRAD STOKES: Gonna be Stoker, to be honest—hey look a cat!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Leave the cat alone and let Hubert wrestle his match.
BRAD STOKES: Fine! But mark my words that cat and I are going out for ice cream one of these shows.
Aaron Pace gains an upper hand, muscling down on Hubert Smalls and forcing him to one knee before laying into him with a backhanded chop then powering Hubert back up to his feet and swinging him around into a powerslam/pin combo!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Quick pin attempt!
ON—
BRAD STOKES: Not even close!
Caroline Burchill has Jessie Roberts backed into the corner and is leveling her with vicious backhand chops of her own before she monkey flips Jessie into the center of the ring where she collides with a rising Aaron Pace and staggers him blindly forward!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Hard to say if that was intentional.
BRAD STOKES: It’s Caroline Burchill, Nina. Of course it was intentional. She’s one of the more lethal competitors in the AWE and right now she’s the one to beat in that ring!
Caroline has gotten to her feet and finished the job, planting Aaron Pace’s face into the canvas with a bulldog and she goes for a quick cover!
ONE—
NINA APPLEBAUM: Quick kickout by Aaron Pace, and now Caroline must contend with Hubert Smalls.
Hubert has Caroline up to her feet and is about to unload but seems reluctant to follow-through.
BRAD STOKES: He’s in love…
NINA APPLEBAUM: Really?
Caroline takes swift advantage of Hubert’s hesitation and off-loads a massive discus lariat that downs Hubert! But by now, Jessie Roberts is on her feet and she quickly takes Caroline down before she can capitalize with an arm drag! She meets Aaron Pace on his way to mount an offense and takes him down with another arm drag! Hubert Smalls gets to his feet looking a little surprised Caroline attacked him and is met with a stiff drop kick from Jessie Roberts!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Jessie Roberts is on fire in there right now!
It doesn’t last long as she rises to her feet and is met with a reverse STO from Caroline she transfers into a cover!
1…
TW—
NINA APPLEBAUM: That cover was halted by Aaron Pace. None of these competitors are going to let go of this contendership chance!
Aaron hoists Caroline up to her feet and bodyslams her back down onto the canvas!
BRAD STOKES: And yet Caroline and Aaron have some unfinished business between them. This match could get messy fast!
Aaron drops a sharp elbow drop on Caroline and rises to his knee in time to see a charging Hubert Smalls take him down with a running knee.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Nasty looking running knee from Hubert Smalls! That cleaned Aaron Pace’s clock!
BRAD STOKES: Looks like he’ll need plastic surgery after all! Who figures some animal lover’s gonna have that much force behind him?
Hubert forces Aaron up to his feet and starts to apply an abdominal stretch that already has Aaron Pace in pain before Jessie Roberts lands a kick into Hubert’s back that forces him to release Aaron and turn around to face Jessie.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Hubert seems reluctant to strike either Jessie or Caroline Burchill!
BRAD STOKES: Well, he’s gonna need to get over it cause they’re not going to be reluctant to strike him!
With Hubert stumbling and Aaron dropped to the canvas, Jessie maintains the assault, leading Hubert over to the ropes where she finishes up her series with a drop kick that sends Hubert tipping over the ropes to spill to the outside! Before Jessie Roberts can turn around Aaron Pace slams her backward into a german suplex and bridges into a pin!
1…
TW—
NINA APPLEBAUM: Caroline Burchill was there to break up the pin!
Caroline lays a series of stomps down into Aaron Pace’s midsection to keep him down before Jessie Roberts rises to her feet and lays Caroline out with a sudden discus clothesline!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Huge impact there!
BRAD STOKES: Jessie Roberts with the cover!
1…
TW—
NINA APPLEBAUM: Kickout there by Caroline Burchill!
BRAD STOKES: She’s still gonna marry me, you know that?
NINA APPLEBAUM: I thought you were into Ana Hayden now?
BRAD STOKES: I’ve been reading up on polygamy. For instance, did you know it ends with the same letters as Origami?
NINA APPLEBAUM: No it doesn’t.
BRAD STOKES: You’re calling my book a liar, homie.
Jessie Roberts goes to work stomping down on Burchill with enough force to have the Killer Queen roiling in an attempt to escape before Jessie Roberts forces Burchill to her feet and whips her for the ropes, follows her in and superkicks Burchill up and over the ropes!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Jessie Roberts is on fire in there!
As Hubert is on his feet on the outside, he moves to check on Caroline Burchill. Roberts turns just in time to get a kick to the midsection and PLANTS Roberts with a spinning sitout pedigree!
NINA APPLEBAUM: THE CHANGE OF PACE! AARON WITH THE COVER!
1…
2…
3!!!
“More Than You Can Chew” bny Corroded begins on the sound system as Hubert helps Caroline up to her feet on the outside.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Ever the opportunist, Aaron Pace saw an opening and took it.
BRAD STOKES: Hubert and Caroline seem to be hitting it off.
Caroline glares at Hubert and pulls away.
BRAD STOKES: Or not.
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: Here is your winner… and new number 1 contender for the Paramount Championship… AARONNNN… PACE!
Aaron congratulates himself in the ring while Caroline walks away in disgust, Hubert entreats her with confusion.
BRAD STOKES: She’s too good for him anyway.
NINA APPLEBAUM: I think Caroline’s more upset about the outcome of the match, Bradley. And I would be too.
BRAD STOKES: She’s never without her chances though. This time around it was Aaron Pace.
NINA APPLEBAUM: So it would seem. With that decided, we’ll be back with more AWE after these messages.
NINA APPLEBAUM: That’s exactly what it looks like!
BRAD STOKES: Yeah, but I said if I "didn’t know better". Which I do. There's no pattern emerging, these are obviously lone wolf attacks.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Okay, first of all, that Masked Man is the same masked man that terrorized one of our backstage interviewers at Massacre #6!
BRAD STOKES: Sam Young had it coming, if you ask me. Don't forget that time he falsely reported on the Bowling Green Massacre.
NINA APPLEBAUM: There was no-- Look, that Masked Man was also last seen meeting with T.S. in his office at the END of Massacre #6!
BRAD STOKES: And I can make myself look like a giant with clever use of camera angles, Nina.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Well, it’s pretty easy to see that T.S. is removing the competition. There’s no telling what that Masked Man is going to do next.
BRAD STOKES: This is all conjecture and hearsay. I don’t believe any of it, and frankly, you’re forgetting the simple fact that T.S. Elliot has never hurt anyone ever.
NINA APPLEBAUM: He put Thirteen in the hospital!
BRAD STOKES: That footage was conveniently erased!
NINA APPLEBAUM: You’re covering for him.
BRAD STOKES: He’s buying me a new car.
NINA APPLEBAUM: You sold out!
BRAD STOKES: I GOT FIVE KIDS TO FEED!
NINA APPLEBAUM: NO YOU DON'T!
BRAD STOKES: HOW DARE YOU QUESTION MY LEGITIMACY YOU FILTHY BI--
DING! DING! DING!
Inside the ring Jessie Roberts, Aaron Pace, Hubert Smalls and Caroline O’Hara Burchill move from the individual corners, eyes locked amongst themselves before Hubert Smalls makes the first move and locks up with Aaron Pace, catching him off guard and the two men suddenly begin jockeying for a power position inside of a collar and elbow tie up. The sudden move spurs Caroline Burchill into dropkicking Jessie Roberts hard, sending her reeling back against the ropes.
NINA APPLEBAUM: And just like that this match is underway for the #1 Contendership to the Paramount Championship. One of these four competitors will go on eventually to face Stoker, Owen Salvo or Dom DiBona at a later date!
BRAD STOKES: Gonna be Stoker, to be honest—hey look a cat!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Leave the cat alone and let Hubert wrestle his match.
BRAD STOKES: Fine! But mark my words that cat and I are going out for ice cream one of these shows.
Aaron Pace gains an upper hand, muscling down on Hubert Smalls and forcing him to one knee before laying into him with a backhanded chop then powering Hubert back up to his feet and swinging him around into a powerslam/pin combo!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Quick pin attempt!
ON—
BRAD STOKES: Not even close!
Caroline Burchill has Jessie Roberts backed into the corner and is leveling her with vicious backhand chops of her own before she monkey flips Jessie into the center of the ring where she collides with a rising Aaron Pace and staggers him blindly forward!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Hard to say if that was intentional.
BRAD STOKES: It’s Caroline Burchill, Nina. Of course it was intentional. She’s one of the more lethal competitors in the AWE and right now she’s the one to beat in that ring!
Caroline has gotten to her feet and finished the job, planting Aaron Pace’s face into the canvas with a bulldog and she goes for a quick cover!
ONE—
NINA APPLEBAUM: Quick kickout by Aaron Pace, and now Caroline must contend with Hubert Smalls.
Hubert has Caroline up to her feet and is about to unload but seems reluctant to follow-through.
BRAD STOKES: He’s in love…
NINA APPLEBAUM: Really?
Caroline takes swift advantage of Hubert’s hesitation and off-loads a massive discus lariat that downs Hubert! But by now, Jessie Roberts is on her feet and she quickly takes Caroline down before she can capitalize with an arm drag! She meets Aaron Pace on his way to mount an offense and takes him down with another arm drag! Hubert Smalls gets to his feet looking a little surprised Caroline attacked him and is met with a stiff drop kick from Jessie Roberts!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Jessie Roberts is on fire in there right now!
It doesn’t last long as she rises to her feet and is met with a reverse STO from Caroline she transfers into a cover!
1…
TW—
NINA APPLEBAUM: That cover was halted by Aaron Pace. None of these competitors are going to let go of this contendership chance!
Aaron hoists Caroline up to her feet and bodyslams her back down onto the canvas!
BRAD STOKES: And yet Caroline and Aaron have some unfinished business between them. This match could get messy fast!
Aaron drops a sharp elbow drop on Caroline and rises to his knee in time to see a charging Hubert Smalls take him down with a running knee.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Nasty looking running knee from Hubert Smalls! That cleaned Aaron Pace’s clock!
BRAD STOKES: Looks like he’ll need plastic surgery after all! Who figures some animal lover’s gonna have that much force behind him?
Hubert forces Aaron up to his feet and starts to apply an abdominal stretch that already has Aaron Pace in pain before Jessie Roberts lands a kick into Hubert’s back that forces him to release Aaron and turn around to face Jessie.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Hubert seems reluctant to strike either Jessie or Caroline Burchill!
BRAD STOKES: Well, he’s gonna need to get over it cause they’re not going to be reluctant to strike him!
With Hubert stumbling and Aaron dropped to the canvas, Jessie maintains the assault, leading Hubert over to the ropes where she finishes up her series with a drop kick that sends Hubert tipping over the ropes to spill to the outside! Before Jessie Roberts can turn around Aaron Pace slams her backward into a german suplex and bridges into a pin!
1…
TW—
NINA APPLEBAUM: Caroline Burchill was there to break up the pin!
Caroline lays a series of stomps down into Aaron Pace’s midsection to keep him down before Jessie Roberts rises to her feet and lays Caroline out with a sudden discus clothesline!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Huge impact there!
BRAD STOKES: Jessie Roberts with the cover!
1…
TW—
NINA APPLEBAUM: Kickout there by Caroline Burchill!
BRAD STOKES: She’s still gonna marry me, you know that?
NINA APPLEBAUM: I thought you were into Ana Hayden now?
BRAD STOKES: I’ve been reading up on polygamy. For instance, did you know it ends with the same letters as Origami?
NINA APPLEBAUM: No it doesn’t.
BRAD STOKES: You’re calling my book a liar, homie.
Jessie Roberts goes to work stomping down on Burchill with enough force to have the Killer Queen roiling in an attempt to escape before Jessie Roberts forces Burchill to her feet and whips her for the ropes, follows her in and superkicks Burchill up and over the ropes!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Jessie Roberts is on fire in there!
As Hubert is on his feet on the outside, he moves to check on Caroline Burchill. Roberts turns just in time to get a kick to the midsection and PLANTS Roberts with a spinning sitout pedigree!
NINA APPLEBAUM: THE CHANGE OF PACE! AARON WITH THE COVER!
1…
2…
3!!!
DING! DING! DING!
“More Than You Can Chew” bny Corroded begins on the sound system as Hubert helps Caroline up to her feet on the outside.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Ever the opportunist, Aaron Pace saw an opening and took it.
BRAD STOKES: Hubert and Caroline seem to be hitting it off.
Caroline glares at Hubert and pulls away.
BRAD STOKES: Or not.
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: Here is your winner… and new number 1 contender for the Paramount Championship… AARONNNN… PACE!
Aaron congratulates himself in the ring while Caroline walks away in disgust, Hubert entreats her with confusion.
BRAD STOKES: She’s too good for him anyway.
NINA APPLEBAUM: I think Caroline’s more upset about the outcome of the match, Bradley. And I would be too.
BRAD STOKES: She’s never without her chances though. This time around it was Aaron Pace.
NINA APPLEBAUM: So it would seem. With that decided, we’ll be back with more AWE after these messages.
Mark comes home to his bright, well-kept suburban home where his wife, Kathy, is arranging a fresh vase full of beautiful yellow tulips!
MARK: Hey honey!
KATHY: Hi, dear!
He kisses Kathy on the cheek. Mark goes to hang his jacket up.
MARK: Where’s JoJo?
KATHY: In his room playing on his mobile phone.
Mark shakes his head with a smirk.
MARK: Lemme guess.
He and his wife look to one another.
IN UNISON: SWIPEBANANA!
They laugh.
MARK: I’ll go check on him.
Jump cut to inside of a bedroom overlooking the backlit screen of a mobile device. The door opens and Mark poking his head inside.
MARK: Hey, Jojo!
MARK: Hey honey!
KATHY: Hi, dear!
He kisses Kathy on the cheek. Mark goes to hang his jacket up.
MARK: Where’s JoJo?
KATHY: In his room playing on his mobile phone.
Mark shakes his head with a smirk.
MARK: Lemme guess.
He and his wife look to one another.
IN UNISON: SWIPEBANANA!
They laugh.
MARK: I’ll go check on him.
Jump cut to inside of a bedroom overlooking the backlit screen of a mobile device. The door opens and Mark poking his head inside.
MARK: Hey, Jojo!
Large fingers slowly play along the screen. Gorilla’s fingers scrolling through pictures of other scantily clad female gorillas.
JOJO: *grunts*
Mark laughs.
MARK: Whatcha doing, big guy?
Mark smiles, already well aware of what Jojo's up to.
JOJO: *grunts with intense aggravation*
MARK: Jojo, it's time to--
JoJo launches a bedside table at the door. It smashes against the wall.
MARK: Okay, okay! I’ll leave you be!
Mark closes the door.
The camera tracks backward with Mark in frame.
MARK: Hi. When my wife and I first adopted JoJo from the Cincinnati zoo, he was just a cute little baby gorilla.
The sound of JoJo jumping on his bed excitedly. Mark smiles.
MARK: But now? JoJo’s older. He’s no longer a baby. He’s a silverback gorilla with needs. Finding JoJo a proper mate is difficult for primates in captivity, so that’s why my wife and I have networked with other great ape caregivers to bring you, the consumer, the first ever Mobile Dating App for Great Apes and Monkeys. It’s called SwipeBanana.
Wipe to a demo shot of a gorilla using the SwipeBanana app.
MARK VOICEOVER: SwipeBanana offers chimps, bonobos, spider-monkeys, and many more primates the chance to browse the ever-growing database of available mates in their area. With SwipeBanana’s simple touch-screen interface, primate mating rituals are just a touch, and a swipe, away.
The demo shows the gorilla reaching a mate of its preference, and then swipes a banana across the screen. Cut back to Mark holding his wife close in the kitchen.
KATHY: SwipeBanana’s made our lives so much easier.
MARK: And as for JoJo?
Jojo the enormous silverback gorilla moves down the stairs looking fresh and styling his hair with a fine-tooth comb.
MARK: He’s got a date tonight.
KATHY: Thanks SwipeBanana!
MARK: Download the app now and get started on your free trial of SwipeBanana today!
VOICE OFF CAMERA: I’m sorry, can humans use this app?
Mark and Kathy frown.
MARK: No, silly. It’s for monkeys.
All smiles as we fade to the logo.
JOJO: *grunts*
Mark laughs.
MARK: Whatcha doing, big guy?
Mark smiles, already well aware of what Jojo's up to.
JOJO: *grunts with intense aggravation*
MARK: Jojo, it's time to--
JoJo launches a bedside table at the door. It smashes against the wall.
MARK: Okay, okay! I’ll leave you be!
Mark closes the door.
The camera tracks backward with Mark in frame.
MARK: Hi. When my wife and I first adopted JoJo from the Cincinnati zoo, he was just a cute little baby gorilla.
The sound of JoJo jumping on his bed excitedly. Mark smiles.
MARK: But now? JoJo’s older. He’s no longer a baby. He’s a silverback gorilla with needs. Finding JoJo a proper mate is difficult for primates in captivity, so that’s why my wife and I have networked with other great ape caregivers to bring you, the consumer, the first ever Mobile Dating App for Great Apes and Monkeys. It’s called SwipeBanana.
Wipe to a demo shot of a gorilla using the SwipeBanana app.
MARK VOICEOVER: SwipeBanana offers chimps, bonobos, spider-monkeys, and many more primates the chance to browse the ever-growing database of available mates in their area. With SwipeBanana’s simple touch-screen interface, primate mating rituals are just a touch, and a swipe, away.
The demo shows the gorilla reaching a mate of its preference, and then swipes a banana across the screen. Cut back to Mark holding his wife close in the kitchen.
KATHY: SwipeBanana’s made our lives so much easier.
MARK: And as for JoJo?
Jojo the enormous silverback gorilla moves down the stairs looking fresh and styling his hair with a fine-tooth comb.
MARK: He’s got a date tonight.
KATHY: Thanks SwipeBanana!
MARK: Download the app now and get started on your free trial of SwipeBanana today!
VOICE OFF CAMERA: I’m sorry, can humans use this app?
Mark and Kathy frown.
MARK: No, silly. It’s for monkeys.
All smiles as we fade to the logo.
NINA APPLEBAUM: And we’re back.
Inside the ring, Ana Hayden and James Radford stand in their respective corners. Radford is getting his shoulders massaged by Bobby Benson who is speaking into his ears, but Radford doesn’t look like he’s listening. Ana looks focused and determined across the ring, locking eyes with James.
BRAD STOKES: 5 Exhausting rounds of the Alpha Cup Tournament and here we are.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Out of a field of 32 wrestlers, these 2 remain.
BRAD STOKES: Still no spaghetti though. Kinda crushed. Ana didn’t even look at me as she entered the ring.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Because she’s focused. She wants to win this thing.
Inside the ring, Ana Hayden and James Radford stand in their respective corners. Radford is getting his shoulders massaged by Bobby Benson who is speaking into his ears, but Radford doesn’t look like he’s listening. Ana looks focused and determined across the ring, locking eyes with James.
BRAD STOKES: 5 Exhausting rounds of the Alpha Cup Tournament and here we are.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Out of a field of 32 wrestlers, these 2 remain.
BRAD STOKES: Still no spaghetti though. Kinda crushed. Ana didn’t even look at me as she entered the ring.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Because she’s focused. She wants to win this thing.
DING! DING! DING!
Without much warning Ana rushes Radford before he’s even out of the corner, with just enough time for Bobby to leapt down from the apron narrowly avoiding as Ana aims her single-leg drop kick right for Radford who narrowly misses the kick, and Ana gets her leg hooked over the top turnbuckle! Radford turns and grips Ana with a waistlock and aims to slam her down with a german suplex but Ana manages to roll out of Radford’s grip and sommersaults along the canvas as Radford falls onto his back, turns and locks eyes with Ana who recovers back to her feet.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Coming out of the gate swinging these two have earned this chance.
BRAD STOKES: Might finally see someone die, Nina.
As Radford rises to his feet Ana charges and sends him reeling with a savage enziguri kick and follows it up with a rapid double knee backbreaker!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Ana Hayden goes for the quick cover!
ONE—
BRAD STOKES: The proximity of their bodies is a threat to my place in Ana’s life.
NINA APPLEBAUM: What place?! She’s dating Bryan Williams! And, you know, women aren’t simple-minded creatures swayed easily by touch or closeness. It’s more complicated than that.
BRAD STOKES: You’re saying several of the things I want to hear, and therefore I will only hear those things, and not the fact you’re telling me I have to kill Bryan Williams which is information I will save for a later date.
Ana drags Radford to his feet, but Radford jams his shoulder vertically into Ana’s midsection and uses momentum to slam her down with a sudden spinebuster!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Radford’s turn for the cover!
ONE—
NINA APPLEBAUM: Kickout after one!
BRAD STOKES: Gotta be weird wrestling a chick, eh, Nina? She’s all… small… and whiney… and prissy
NINA APPLEBAUM: You are such a sexist, stereotyping little—
BRAD STOKES: WHOA-HO! Radford goes down with a headscissor takedown from the pretty little princess!
Ana maintains pressure on her headscissor, which has downed Radford. She aims several sharp elbow strikes before forcing Radford to his feet and aiming him for the ropes, but instead of letting go she SLAMS Radford with a surprising snap suplex and rolls him up for another! And then another in a sequence!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Pin attempt by Ana Hayden!
1…
TW--
BRAD STOKES: Kickout by Radford is probably making Ana cry right now.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Can you not just put aside your petty rivalries for one match.
BRAD STOKES: I can’t pick on Theo Refano all the time, Nina. Look at him, though. With his new glasses. * cups hands to mouth* NICE GLASSES, FOUR EYES! Hahahaha. He doesn’t even hear me. Probably needs new hearing machines. What a putz.
As Ana drags Radford up to his feet, she aims him for the ropes once more only Radford reverses the momentum and sends Ana careening into the corner where she whips up and over and lands on the apron!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Always impressed with the agility of Ana Hayden.
BRAD STOKES: Radford doesn’t seem overly impressed!
Radford charges like a bull at Ana Hayden who clutches the ropes. Just as Radford makes it she whips up and over the ropes in a sweet sunset flip that Radford almost goes over on…. AND NO he aims a series of punches down at Hayden before angrily dragging her back up to her feet just in time to get a headbutt from Hayden for his trouble. Radford staggers and Ana charges him and SLAMS Radford down with a hurricanrana driver!!!
NINA APPLEBAUM: AMAZING! ANA HAYDEN MAY HAVE DONE IT! SHE JUST GAVE BAD PEOPLE GOOD IDEAS!
BRAD STOKES: She certainly has....
As Ana goes for the cover, hooking James’ leg, and Theo Refano is about to slide down to make the count Bobby Benson steps onto the ring apron and draws Refano’s attention.
BRAD STOKES: Here we go.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Bobby Benson is back at his old tricks.
Ana Hayden glares Refano and Benson argue over some slight Benson has perceived in the match. She lets go of Radford and moves on her feet towards Bobby and Refano. Bobby acts innocent as Ana starts pointing an accusing finger at him and jawing him angrily.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Ana Hayden isn’t the type to accept much of this too often.
Bobby and Ana are arguing now as Theo Refano is trying to break it up and get Ana back to the match. Bobby Benson swipes an open palm threateningly at Ana like he’s about to slap her, laughing arrogantly in her face. Then Ana delivers the real thing! Stunning Bobby Benson off the ring apron clutching his cheek as the crowd hollers loudly and Theo Refano warns Ana Hayden.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Nicely done by Ana Hayden! Bobby Benson did not see that coming!
BRAD STOKES: Yeah, and now she’s not watching James Radford…
James Radford rolls his head as he staggers to his feet in time as Ana spins to see him and gets a high knee lift from Radford for her trouble that sends her sprawling into the corner! With Ana draped in the corner, James Radford charges and SPLASHES her in the corner where she falls out of! Radford drops an elbow for good measure then covers.
BRAD STOKES: THE REBEL YELL! BOBBY BENSON’S JUST GIVEN RADFORD THE MATCH!
1…
2…
THR—
NINA APPLEBAUM: Kickout by Ana Hayden! Her level of resilience is uncanny.
BRAD STOKES: Tell me about it. She hasn’t responded to a single text of mine!
Radford rises to his feet, grips Ana up to her feet and swiftly scoop slams her right back down.
BRAD STOKES: NO! Not the Radford Jam!
Sure enough, Radford bounces off the ropes and shimmy-shake dances his way back to Ana and drops a knee down hard onto her midsection!
NINA APPLEBAUM: What’s your problem with the Radford Jam!?
BRAD STOKES: I hate watching men dance. I hate watching James Radford dance. And I hate the word “jam”. Enough of an answer for you?
NINA APPLEBAUM: Fair enough. James Radford is firmly in control of this match now—
No sooner has it been said, Radford drags Ana to her feet that she surprises Radford with a stiff European uppercut that staggers the larger man. Then another, then another before she angrily whips Radford towards the ropes immediately behind him and sends Radford overboard!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Ana Hayden’s still in this, though that took a lot out of her!
Radford landed hard on the outside. And Ana takes a moment to recover on the inside before she wills the strength inside of herself and goes flying over the ropes to drop a springboard senton drop onto Radford!!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Ana Hayden isn’t normally an aerial fighter!
BRAD STOKES: Yeah, but Radford’s not normally a dancer. You can tell. You see his moves? Damn he sucks. And now she’s making him PAY.
Ana exhaustedly rises to her feet after several strong punches down at Radford as the ref begins the count.
1!
Behind her, Bobby Benson approaches stealthily.
NINA APPLEBAUM: I suppose that earlier altercation was round 1.
2!
Ana turns in time to see Bobby Benson making his way to Radford and her, and immediately after meeting eyes Bobby has his hands up innocently in defence. Ana shakes her head with a glare and moves after a slowly backing away Bobby Benson.
3!
BRAD STOKES: Pretty sure Bobby Benson and James Radford are ACTUALLY a well-oiled machine at this point and the whole in-fighting routine is just an act. Look at how Benson is giving James time to recover.
4!
Benson backs up quicker and Ana, with gritted teeth gives chase. Benson didn’t seem to expect Ana to make this personal, and he reaches for something to help him, a fans hamburger it seems, and tosses it at Ana Hayden which smacks across her face and serves to only anger her more. Amidst a roar from the crowd, Ana is about to knock Benson senseless with a Haymaker that Benson cowers from!
NINA APPLEBAUM: She’s pushing her luck with Benson. Going to get herself disqualified.
BRAD STOKES: Even with his new glasses, I doubt Theo’s going to worry too much about Bobby! He’s asking for it.
Radford has recovered and charged Ana, spinning her around to face him before slamming her down hard onto the concrete with a corkscrew suplex!
5!
Radford struggles to his feet, dragging Ana with him but she levels a stiff uppercut into Radford’s jaw and irish whips him at the ring steps where he spills over them in an awful collision of metal and bone that spills him and the steps across the outside!
6!
NINA APPLEBAUM: This just got horrible in a hurry.
BRAD STOKES: You mean Hutch in a Hurry. He’s my favorite Non-AWE wrestler.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Really?
BRAD STOKES: Sure! Cause just like James Radford, he LOST to Ana Hayden HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAohmy god they’re going to kill each other.
7!
Ana Hayden drops an elbow for Radford but he rolls out of the way and she lands awkwardly on the concrete clutching her elbow.
BRAD STOKES: Glorious carnage. If I were a paying fan I’d probably still steal my tickets, but I’d feel guilty afterward.
NINA APPLEBAUM: These two are leaning dangerously close to a double-countout!!!
8!
Radford climbs awkwardly to his feet clearly favoring his legs as Ana is dragging herself up too. Radford charges her with a shot of adrenaline in his veins, aiming a rushing knee that Ana drops out of the way from and Radford’s knee collides painfully with the ring post! Radford staggers back in obvious pain. Ana is stumbling up to her feet and aims a roundhouse kick for Radford that he ducks and she spins awkwardly and knocks her own shin off the ring post!
BRAD STOKES: I like how these two are literally killing THEMSELVES. You don’t see that everyday.
9!
Ana Hayden is in pain, Radford is in pain, and just as Radford is about to break up the count but Ana Drives an elbow into Radford’s side stumbling him backward and she aims a superkick for his jaw but Radford grabs her and spins her into a sidewalk slam! And the both of them are left laying on the outside!
10!!!
DING! DING! DING!
NINA APPLEBAUM: I do NOT believe it. We have a double-countout!
BRAD STOKES: How the hell… so who wins the Alpha Cup?!
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: Ladies and Gentlemen, this match has been decided—
The lights flicker on and off. The crowd hollers.
NINA APPLEBAUM: What’s going on?!
The AlphaTron blinks then clicks on, like you were watching that Ring video…. Amidst the static, on blinks the ominous red eye of the Hal 10,000 in the center of the screen. The hollow, computerized voice booms onto the speakers.
HAL 10,000: There is nothing wrong with your AlphaTron. Do not attempt to adjust the picture. This is the Hal 10,000 speaking. Do not be afraid. I am controlling the transmission. I control the horizontal. And the vertical.
The crowd quiets, transfixed by the eerie message and spooky images haunting the AlphaTron.
BRAD STOKES: Okay, that’s creepy as fuck.
NINA APPLEBAUM: For once I agree with you.
HAL 10,000: This match cannot go undecided. It has become a no disqualification match. May the best wrestler win.
The AlphaTron dims back to nothing as the lights come back on. The confusion settles on the crowd as James Radford and Ana Hayden are now both on their feet equally as confused.
BRAD STOKES: Can—can he, that, it do that?
NINA APPLEBAUM: I guess he just did…
Without warning Ana unloads a severe right hook onto James. Radford sends one right back and just as quickly as it paused, the match is back on with the two of them returning fire on one another before Radford grabs hold of Ana Hayden’s wrist and hurls her for the guardrail where she connects and slumps against it! Radford charges only to be met with the sole of Hayden’s boot, then she launches him at the unsuspecting Bobby Benson whom Radford collides with and topples over in a heap!
BRAD STOKES: Well then. No D.Q. Nice. Looks like we’re going to have an Alpha Cup finalist after all!
NINA APPLEBAUM: These two have already been clobbering one another for going on twenty minutes! Something’s going to give!
Radford struggles to his feet over top of a laid out Bobby Benson only to get a swift kick to his spine from Ana Hayden then she slams his face off the nearby guardrail and spills him into the crowd!
BRAD STOKES: Fan involvement. Nice. Here’s where I’d be feeling guilty about not buying my ticket, Nina. This is that moment where I wish I’d paid to see something this gratuitously awesome.
With Radford spilled into the crowd, Ana goes for broke, hopping nimbly onto the guardrail and leaping off at Radford only for Radford to raise a chair up and Ana to collide onto the lip of it painfully, knocking the wind from her lungs in the process and spilling onto the concrete!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Who would’ve thought this match would turn into the free-for-all it’s become!
BRAD STOKES: Really regretting pirating all that music I pirated back in the day, too, Nina. Holy shit I’ve killed independent wrestling and music and probably everything else. I need to pay back the people I’ve stolen from.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Serious business, Bradley.
BRAD STOKES: NO! I’m not being sincere. You fell for it, too. Remember? T.S. paid me to manipulate people’s minds HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAis it working?
NINA APPLEBAUM: Rough to admit that live.
BRAD STOKES: it’s all part of the show, sweetie.
Radford climbs to his feet looking exhausted as ever and stumbles for Ana Hayden who raises her feet up into Radford’s midsection then dumps him down hard with another hurricanrana driver onto the concrete! This one splits Radford’s forehead open!
NINA APPLEBAUM: And we officially have a mess.
BRAD STOKES: I hope they die. Seriously. I don’t know if I’ve clarified my position on that topic yet, but—
NINA APPLEBAUM: You hope they die. Got it.
BRAD STOKES: Just making sure everybody knows.
Ana drags herself and Radford back to their feet but Radford clocks her with a shoulder thrust up into her jaw then SLAMS Ana facefirst down onto the seat of a steel chair!
BRAD STOKES: MOREEEE BLOOOOOD!
Ana’s cut open now as well as Radford is stuck on all fours crawling after Ana who is trying to get some space from him. She drags herself to her feet just as Radford makes it to his and charges her. Ana sidesteps him and twists him into a bulldog down onto the floor!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Ana with the pin!
BRAD STOKES: Awwww and Theo Refano is struggling to get out into the crowd where they are.
Indeed, Theo Refano is moving as quick as he can to get close enough to officiate in the stands but by then Radford has kicked out and made it to all fours as Ana frustratedly climbs to her feet and grabs a nearby steel chair. Radford leaps up and hits her with a drop kick slamming the chair off Ana’s face in the process and knocking her backwards and spilling into a side aisleway!
NINA APPLEBAUM: At a loss for what to say here.
BRAD STOKES: Just go with it. Sit back and enjoy.
Refano pursues them as Radford stumbles on his feet to where Ana is struggling to stand. Radford levels a blow down into Ana Hayden only for her to respond in kind then aim to whip him at a concrete wall! Only Radford reverses the momentum and sends Ana Hayden HARD into the concrete where she drops like a sack of bricks!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Radford with the cover!
1..
2…
3!!
BRAD STOKES: Of all the…
DING! DING! DING!
“Guitars and Cadillacs” by Dwight Yoakum kicks onto the speakers. Radford is barely able to stand, half incoherently looking around with blood stinging his eyes.
NINA APPLEBAUM: A more fitting finish to an amazing tournament could not be had, fans. Ana Hayden and James Radford turned this one into a fine summation of the entire Alpha Cup tournament.
BRAD STOKES: Long, and physically grueling. This one was everything we’d hoped it would be.
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: And your winner… and the winner of the Alpha Cup Tournament….. “COUNTRY FINE”… JAMES…. RADFORDDDDD!
The cup is wheeled down to ringside, but James is confusedly trying to stand up nearly halfway across the stands. Officials are trying to direct him towards it.
BRAD STOKES: I’m sure once he comes to he’ll appreciate the victory.
NINA APPLEBAUM: It’s quite the achievement. He just secured himself a free title shot at a belt of his choosing.
BRAD STOKES: Meanwhile, is Ana Hayden dead, or—
NINA APPLEBAUM: No… she’s not dead, Bradley.
BRAD STOKES: Then I’ve got a chance.
Radford has stumbled his way with the help of several officials over the Alpha Cup display. And he proudly, if not entirely completely able due to lack of strength, holds it aloft!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Well, fight fans, while James Radford gets to bask in that trophy, we’ve got some backstage happenings to bring to you now.
Backstage now, and the chants of the crowd fade away, replaced by footsteps. The unnamed man, a stagehand of some sort by the look of things, enters a storeroom. As he walks in, the man jumps out of his skin, coating the wall in his coffee.
The camera pans and Todd Reid can be seen hanging by his ankle, tied to the light fitting, just beside his desk and completely unconscious.
STAGEHAND: Oh… my g-
As he rushes to Todd’s aid, he is sent flying down to the ground courtesy of a bat shot to the back. With the stagehand laid out, the camera looks up and finds the bat in the hands of the masked man. He drops the weapon, moving to Todd and softly slapping him on the face. Todd mutters something incoherent and dazed.
MASKED MAN: As I was saying, enjoy the rest of the show, Mr Reid.
With another soft slap to Todd’s cheek, the masked man makes an about turn. Flicking the lights back off, he leaves the two men in the darkness of the office, locking the door and then dropping the key into a nearby trash can.
The camera pans and Todd Reid can be seen hanging by his ankle, tied to the light fitting, just beside his desk and completely unconscious.
STAGEHAND: Oh… my g-
As he rushes to Todd’s aid, he is sent flying down to the ground courtesy of a bat shot to the back. With the stagehand laid out, the camera looks up and finds the bat in the hands of the masked man. He drops the weapon, moving to Todd and softly slapping him on the face. Todd mutters something incoherent and dazed.
MASKED MAN: As I was saying, enjoy the rest of the show, Mr Reid.
With another soft slap to Todd’s cheek, the masked man makes an about turn. Flicking the lights back off, he leaves the two men in the darkness of the office, locking the door and then dropping the key into a nearby trash can.
NINA APPLEBAUM: And we’re back just in time now to decide the Dynamic Championship belts!
BRAD STOKES: You know, I had completely forgotten Todd Reid existed!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Are you still planning to deny that it looks an awful lot like T.S. is removing all of the stakeholders from the show?
BRAD STOKES: I admit nothing. Todd Reid sleeps upside down. That’s a fact.
NINA APPLEBAUM: It is not a fact.
BRAD STOKES: It could be.
NINA APPLEBAUM: But it’s not.
BRAD STOKES: It is if you believe it is.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Shut up, Bradley!
BRAD STOKES: How am I gonna call the match if I shut up, huh?
NINA APPLEBAUM: I’m ignoring you. It looks like it will be Aokigahara Zombie facing off against Hunter Storms to start us off.
Hunter and Aoki Zombie circle one another before a lock up Hunter quickly gets the better of, lifting a knee up into Aoki’s midsection then promptly slamming him over with a gutwrench suplex!
BRAD STOKES: Didn’t Hunter Storms die once already tonight?
NINA APPLEBAUM: No.
BRAD STOKES: HA! So much for ignoring me.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Kind of difficult to do that when you’re sitting right next to me.
Hunter gets Aoki back to his feet and backs him into his corner and lays into him with some knife edge chops, then quickly tags in Hanzo who joins him! Hunter raises Aoki Zombie up with a deadlift then Hanzo completes the cutter on Zombie!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Nice teamwork there by Blue Impulse! And Hanzo with the cover!
ONE—
BRAD STOKES: My doppelganger, the Aoki, ain’t going out like that, holmes.
NINA APPLEBAUM: When did you become a member of Cypress Hill?
BRAD STOKES: Pending membership. It’s a sore spot, currently.
Hanzo grips Aoki up to his feet and whips him to the ropes. On the rebound, Hanzo expertly topples Aoki with a headscissor takedown and then sprightly springboards off the nearby ropes and splashes down onto Aoki!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Cover by Hanzo!
ONE—
BRAD STOKES: Does no one understand that Aoki Zombie can only be killed by weapons that have yet to be invented?
NINA APPLEBAUM: That’s hardly true. Duke Solomon nearly killed Aoki a few shows ago…
BRAD STOKES: Almost, or nearly, isn’t doing the job, Nina.
Hanzo drags Aoki to his feet and lays into him with a series of stiff jabs before whipping Aoki into the ropes. On the rebound he slams Aoki down for a sidewalk slam and goes for another cover!
1…
TW--
NINA APPLEBAUM: Another kickout there by Aoki Zombie.
Hanzo patiently grips Aoki and drives him back into the Blue Impulse corner where he lays into Aoki with several stiff elbows before tagging in Hunter Storms. Together they irish whip Aoki into the ropes, on the rebound they deliver a dual back elbow that absolutely flattens Aoki Zombie!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Still more nice tag-team work by Blue Impulse. And Kimitsu Zombie is ready to get in there!
BRAD STOKES: Heard on TMZ.com she’s dating Austin Gale or something. Do you think American Tommy knows?
NINA APPLEBAUM: Gossip rag? You, Bradley?
BRAD STOKES: I’m a man of many tastes and textures, Nina. I heard Lady Gaga’s dating the ghost of David Bowie.
Hunter Storms drops a stiff elbow before turning the move into a crossface that inflicts some massive discomfort if not total pain in Aoki Zombie!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Aoki Zombie is one of the people it’s difficult to tell if he’s in pain, or if he’s laughing through it.
BRAD STOKES: He’s actually drunk, Nina. No fooling.
Hunter torques the hold before Kimitsu charges in and places a firm stomp into Hunter’s back breaking off the cross face! Theo Refano forces Kimitsu back to her corner, giving Hunter time to gouge Aoki Zombie’s eyes without the ref seeing, then stomps Aoki’s face hard into the canvas before going to tag Hanzo in.
BRAD STOKES: Hunter Storms quite the athlete. He’s pulled out one match tonight—
NINA APPLEBAUM: And managed to impress, I might add.
BRAD STOKES: And now, in match two, he’s still fighting at a high-level of intensity. He’s probably on drugs.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Like Aokigahara Zombie’s abusing alcoholic substances.
BRAD STOKES: That’s hearsay.
NINA APPLEBAUM: You just said that, though.
BRAD STOKES: No I didn’t.
With Hanzo in the ring, Hunter whips Aoki off the ropes and both he and Hanzo hit Aoki with a double dropkick off the rebound that knocks Aoki senseless.
NINA APPLEBAUM: And the cover by Hanzo!
1…
2..
NINA APPLEBAUM: Kimitsu breaks that cover up!
BRAD STOKES: Gotta be boring sitting in the corner watching your tag partner get his clock cleaned.
NINA APPLEBAUM: I doubt she’s enjoying herself.
Hanzo drops a solid elbow onto Aoki before dragging him to his feet and slamming several knife-edge chops into Aoki before irish whipping him into the Blue Impulse corner! But, surprise surprise, Aoki slams an elbow into Hunter’s chin and knocks him off the apron as Aoki slams into the corner. And Hanzo swiftly chases him in only for Aoki to manage his way out of the corner where Hanzo butts chest-first into the turnbuckle and Aoki drops him with a reverse neckbreaker!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Nicely done by Aokigahara Zombie!
The strain of the onslaught of Blue Impulse has left Aoki down while the fans mount loud support for him to climb his way over to the corner where Kimitsu Zombie has her arm outstretched eager for the tag! Hunter is on the outside where the Aoki elbow’s impact sent him flying hard down into the guardrail and he is struggling to regain his senses. Hanzo is stirring, and slowly getting to his knees as Aoki crawls across the ring to reach for Kimitsu! He almost makes it but Hanzo is there to drop a set of knees down into Aoki’s back and prevents that tag from happening!
BRAD STOKES: So close but yet so far!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Kimi looks close to taking matters into her own hands.
BRAD STOKES: With Hunter still down on the outside, it looks like Hanzo better make this count!
Hanzo grips Aoki up and SLAMS him back down into a bridging german suplex!
1…
2..
THR—
NINA APPLEBAUM: Kickout by Aoki Zombie!
Hanzo stands Aoki up and slams ever-stronger knife-edge chops into Aoki Zombie, backing him up into the ropes before whipping Aoki towards the ropes! On the rebound Hanzo aims for a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker but gets surprised by a sudden Aokigahara Zombie tornado DDT that pops the crowd!
BRAD STOKES: Don’t see that every day!
Hunter climbs his way back onto the apron in time to watch Aoki crawling his way back to just BARELY make the tag with Kimitsu Zombie! She is all fire and fury as she enters the ring and swiftly makes her way over to Hunter where she drop kicks him right back down off the apron! Hanzo is up and is swiftly met with a sudden barrage of elbow strikes before she flattens him with a hard-hitting standing frankensteiner then goes for the cover!!
1…
2..
THR—
NINA APPLEBAUM: Stunning kickout by Hanzo Kirigaya!
BRAD STOKES: Kimitsu Zombie almost finished that off with a nice cherry on top!
Kimitsu Zombie gets Hanzo to his feet and sends him flying for the corner where she follows him in with a shining wizard right into a bulldog only Hanzo gets his neck out of it at the last second, whips the momentum around to lock Kimi into a belly-to-belly then SLAMS her with a suplex!
NINA APPLEBAUM: That must knock the wind out of Ketsuekigata Z’s sails and fast!
Hanzo staggers to his feet and drags Kimitsu to center ring, Hunter also staggering to his on the outside an makes his way sluggishly up onto the ring apron just in time to watch Hanzo climb onto the top rope and scout out an elbow drop! Hanzo launches off the top rope
NINA APPLEBAUM: NO ONE HOME!
Kimitsu rolls away in the nick of time and Hanzo lands painfully on his elbow! Kimitsu staggers to her feet and drops a hard hitting knee drop into Hanzo’s back before rolling him onto his stomach and dropping another elbow before she springboards off the ropes for a body splash!!!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Kimitsu with the cover!
1…
2…
Hunter charges in but Aoki rushes him with a shoulder tackle!
3!!!
“Sayanora, Perfect World” by Midori kicks in as both members of Ketsuekigata Z rise to their feet to celebrate.
NINA APPLEBAUM: What a finish. And there you have it!
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: Here is your winners… and NEW Dynamic Champions…. KETSUEKIGATAAAAAAA Z!
BRAD STOKES: Solid win for that Zombies. Can’t fault Blue Impulse one bit for that match.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Would be remiss to admit that two matches in one night probably didn’t do Hunter Storms any favors.
BRAD STOKES: One loss. That’s it. They can bounce back for next time.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Very true. While our new Dynamic Champions bask in their victory, we’ll set up for the next championship match on our docket.
BRAD STOKES: And it’s going to be another doozy.
BRAD STOKES: You know, I had completely forgotten Todd Reid existed!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Are you still planning to deny that it looks an awful lot like T.S. is removing all of the stakeholders from the show?
BRAD STOKES: I admit nothing. Todd Reid sleeps upside down. That’s a fact.
NINA APPLEBAUM: It is not a fact.
BRAD STOKES: It could be.
NINA APPLEBAUM: But it’s not.
BRAD STOKES: It is if you believe it is.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Shut up, Bradley!
BRAD STOKES: How am I gonna call the match if I shut up, huh?
DING! DING! DING!
NINA APPLEBAUM: I’m ignoring you. It looks like it will be Aokigahara Zombie facing off against Hunter Storms to start us off.
Hunter and Aoki Zombie circle one another before a lock up Hunter quickly gets the better of, lifting a knee up into Aoki’s midsection then promptly slamming him over with a gutwrench suplex!
BRAD STOKES: Didn’t Hunter Storms die once already tonight?
NINA APPLEBAUM: No.
BRAD STOKES: HA! So much for ignoring me.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Kind of difficult to do that when you’re sitting right next to me.
Hunter gets Aoki back to his feet and backs him into his corner and lays into him with some knife edge chops, then quickly tags in Hanzo who joins him! Hunter raises Aoki Zombie up with a deadlift then Hanzo completes the cutter on Zombie!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Nice teamwork there by Blue Impulse! And Hanzo with the cover!
ONE—
BRAD STOKES: My doppelganger, the Aoki, ain’t going out like that, holmes.
NINA APPLEBAUM: When did you become a member of Cypress Hill?
BRAD STOKES: Pending membership. It’s a sore spot, currently.
Hanzo grips Aoki up to his feet and whips him to the ropes. On the rebound, Hanzo expertly topples Aoki with a headscissor takedown and then sprightly springboards off the nearby ropes and splashes down onto Aoki!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Cover by Hanzo!
ONE—
BRAD STOKES: Does no one understand that Aoki Zombie can only be killed by weapons that have yet to be invented?
NINA APPLEBAUM: That’s hardly true. Duke Solomon nearly killed Aoki a few shows ago…
BRAD STOKES: Almost, or nearly, isn’t doing the job, Nina.
Hanzo drags Aoki to his feet and lays into him with a series of stiff jabs before whipping Aoki into the ropes. On the rebound he slams Aoki down for a sidewalk slam and goes for another cover!
1…
TW--
NINA APPLEBAUM: Another kickout there by Aoki Zombie.
Hanzo patiently grips Aoki and drives him back into the Blue Impulse corner where he lays into Aoki with several stiff elbows before tagging in Hunter Storms. Together they irish whip Aoki into the ropes, on the rebound they deliver a dual back elbow that absolutely flattens Aoki Zombie!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Still more nice tag-team work by Blue Impulse. And Kimitsu Zombie is ready to get in there!
BRAD STOKES: Heard on TMZ.com she’s dating Austin Gale or something. Do you think American Tommy knows?
NINA APPLEBAUM: Gossip rag? You, Bradley?
BRAD STOKES: I’m a man of many tastes and textures, Nina. I heard Lady Gaga’s dating the ghost of David Bowie.
Hunter Storms drops a stiff elbow before turning the move into a crossface that inflicts some massive discomfort if not total pain in Aoki Zombie!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Aoki Zombie is one of the people it’s difficult to tell if he’s in pain, or if he’s laughing through it.
BRAD STOKES: He’s actually drunk, Nina. No fooling.
Hunter torques the hold before Kimitsu charges in and places a firm stomp into Hunter’s back breaking off the cross face! Theo Refano forces Kimitsu back to her corner, giving Hunter time to gouge Aoki Zombie’s eyes without the ref seeing, then stomps Aoki’s face hard into the canvas before going to tag Hanzo in.
BRAD STOKES: Hunter Storms quite the athlete. He’s pulled out one match tonight—
NINA APPLEBAUM: And managed to impress, I might add.
BRAD STOKES: And now, in match two, he’s still fighting at a high-level of intensity. He’s probably on drugs.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Like Aokigahara Zombie’s abusing alcoholic substances.
BRAD STOKES: That’s hearsay.
NINA APPLEBAUM: You just said that, though.
BRAD STOKES: No I didn’t.
With Hanzo in the ring, Hunter whips Aoki off the ropes and both he and Hanzo hit Aoki with a double dropkick off the rebound that knocks Aoki senseless.
NINA APPLEBAUM: And the cover by Hanzo!
1…
2..
NINA APPLEBAUM: Kimitsu breaks that cover up!
BRAD STOKES: Gotta be boring sitting in the corner watching your tag partner get his clock cleaned.
NINA APPLEBAUM: I doubt she’s enjoying herself.
Hanzo drops a solid elbow onto Aoki before dragging him to his feet and slamming several knife-edge chops into Aoki before irish whipping him into the Blue Impulse corner! But, surprise surprise, Aoki slams an elbow into Hunter’s chin and knocks him off the apron as Aoki slams into the corner. And Hanzo swiftly chases him in only for Aoki to manage his way out of the corner where Hanzo butts chest-first into the turnbuckle and Aoki drops him with a reverse neckbreaker!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Nicely done by Aokigahara Zombie!
The strain of the onslaught of Blue Impulse has left Aoki down while the fans mount loud support for him to climb his way over to the corner where Kimitsu Zombie has her arm outstretched eager for the tag! Hunter is on the outside where the Aoki elbow’s impact sent him flying hard down into the guardrail and he is struggling to regain his senses. Hanzo is stirring, and slowly getting to his knees as Aoki crawls across the ring to reach for Kimitsu! He almost makes it but Hanzo is there to drop a set of knees down into Aoki’s back and prevents that tag from happening!
BRAD STOKES: So close but yet so far!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Kimi looks close to taking matters into her own hands.
BRAD STOKES: With Hunter still down on the outside, it looks like Hanzo better make this count!
Hanzo grips Aoki up and SLAMS him back down into a bridging german suplex!
1…
2..
THR—
NINA APPLEBAUM: Kickout by Aoki Zombie!
Hanzo stands Aoki up and slams ever-stronger knife-edge chops into Aoki Zombie, backing him up into the ropes before whipping Aoki towards the ropes! On the rebound Hanzo aims for a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker but gets surprised by a sudden Aokigahara Zombie tornado DDT that pops the crowd!
BRAD STOKES: Don’t see that every day!
Hunter climbs his way back onto the apron in time to watch Aoki crawling his way back to just BARELY make the tag with Kimitsu Zombie! She is all fire and fury as she enters the ring and swiftly makes her way over to Hunter where she drop kicks him right back down off the apron! Hanzo is up and is swiftly met with a sudden barrage of elbow strikes before she flattens him with a hard-hitting standing frankensteiner then goes for the cover!!
1…
2..
THR—
NINA APPLEBAUM: Stunning kickout by Hanzo Kirigaya!
BRAD STOKES: Kimitsu Zombie almost finished that off with a nice cherry on top!
Kimitsu Zombie gets Hanzo to his feet and sends him flying for the corner where she follows him in with a shining wizard right into a bulldog only Hanzo gets his neck out of it at the last second, whips the momentum around to lock Kimi into a belly-to-belly then SLAMS her with a suplex!
NINA APPLEBAUM: That must knock the wind out of Ketsuekigata Z’s sails and fast!
Hanzo staggers to his feet and drags Kimitsu to center ring, Hunter also staggering to his on the outside an makes his way sluggishly up onto the ring apron just in time to watch Hanzo climb onto the top rope and scout out an elbow drop! Hanzo launches off the top rope
NINA APPLEBAUM: NO ONE HOME!
Kimitsu rolls away in the nick of time and Hanzo lands painfully on his elbow! Kimitsu staggers to her feet and drops a hard hitting knee drop into Hanzo’s back before rolling him onto his stomach and dropping another elbow before she springboards off the ropes for a body splash!!!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Kimitsu with the cover!
1…
2…
Hunter charges in but Aoki rushes him with a shoulder tackle!
3!!!
DING! DING! DING!
“Sayanora, Perfect World” by Midori kicks in as both members of Ketsuekigata Z rise to their feet to celebrate.
NINA APPLEBAUM: What a finish. And there you have it!
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: Here is your winners… and NEW Dynamic Champions…. KETSUEKIGATAAAAAAA Z!
BRAD STOKES: Solid win for that Zombies. Can’t fault Blue Impulse one bit for that match.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Would be remiss to admit that two matches in one night probably didn’t do Hunter Storms any favors.
BRAD STOKES: One loss. That’s it. They can bounce back for next time.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Very true. While our new Dynamic Champions bask in their victory, we’ll set up for the next championship match on our docket.
BRAD STOKES: And it’s going to be another doozy.
Shots of the rowdy crowd meander amidst the exit of the new Dynamic champions, and out comes the next three competitors.
NINA APPLEBAUM: There they are fans. One by one, single-file, some of the best competitors the Paramount Division has to offer.
BRAD STOKES: You say that about every single person.
NINA APPLEBAUM: We have a really solid roster.
BRAD STOKES: Not Dom Lawson.
NINA APPLEBAUM: That’s because you have a vendetta with him.
BRAD STOKES: I think we can consider me the victor and that vendetta safely squashed after Benny Stevens killed him earlier.
NINA APPLEBAUM: We shall see.
Inside the ring, Theo Refano shows the Paramount Championship to the roaring throngs in the stands as Stoker, Owen Salvo and Dom DiBona stand in the ring looking ready.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Stoker and Dom DiBona have met before, to bloody results. And Owen Salvo missed his chance to compete against Dom for a number one contendership weeks ago thanks to Stoker’s mysterious consort, Alexxa Keenan.
BRAD STOKES: It’s all culminating here and now.
At the bell Stoker moves faster than you’d think he could charging at Dom with a superman punch that clocks Dom hard and drops him like a bad habit!
BRAD STOKES: He put some STANK on that one!
Owen Salvo rushes to Dom’s aid only to be met with a vicious back elbow from Stoker that backs Salvo up and then Stoker slams him back down with an inverted atomic drop followed up by a running clothesline that flattens Owen Salvo! Dom DiBona is back to his feet and charging Stoker only to be surprised with a double-knee facebreaker!
NINA APPLEBAUM: THE IMMORTALIZER!!!
Dom is out fast as Stoker climbs to his feet and slams brutal hammer fists down into Dom from the mount position.
BRAD STOKES: Stoker is taking control of this match!
Owen Salvo is back up to his feet only to be met headon as Stoker rises off of Dom and traps Salvo quickly into a headlock and slams some dirty knee strikes up into Salvo’s face before dropping him with a reverse Russian Legsweep!
NINA APPLEBAUM: The sheer level of brutality in Stoker is likely unparalleled in this or any division! He’s taking on Owen Salvo and Dom DiBona!
Stoker mounts Salvo and drops some hard, punishing fists and elbows into Salvo who struggles to cover up, only halted as Dom rushes Stoker and intervenes with a surprise step enziguri that halts Stoker’s momentum and the crowd pops!
BRAD STOKES: That is so annoying. They DO know he like BECAME his enemy right? NO MORE MR. NICE GUY! IT’S A SHAM!
NINA APPLEBAUM: He’s doing what he has to do, Bradley!
BRAD STOKES: He’s gone heel, Nina. THE FANS WILL NOT STAND FOR IT.
NINA APPLEBAUM: You’re very passionate about this, aren’t you?
BRAD STOKES: I’m passionate about whatever the boss pays me to be passionate about, lady lumps. Get with the program or GET OUT!
Dom gets Stoker up to his feet but is met with stiff resistance in the form of a back elbow strike that staggers Dom. Stoker angrily whips Dom hard for the ropes aiming to send him right out of the ring only Dom hangs on to the ropes and ends up landing on the ring apron! Stoker rushes him only to be taken down by a drop-toe hold by Owen Salvo who skillfully rolls to his feet and locks on an Ankle lock onto Stoker!
NINA APPLEBAUM: And the match slowly evens out as Salvo is back in this thing!
Salvo torques the ankle lock on Stoker as Dom gets to his feet, spies his own opening and vaults over the ropes and drops an elbow onto Stoker’s head!
BRAD STOKES: Blatant double-teaming right there.
NINA APPLEBAUM: I think we all knew heading into this match it may take the both of them to put down Stoker.
Salvo isn’t entirely sold on the teamwork, dropping the ankle lock and immediately slamming a standing drop kick into Dom that flops DiBona into the corner with a look of surprise momentarily on his face before he rushes Salvo and drops him with a swinging neckbreaker!
BRAD STOKES: And the gloves have come off from all sides!
NINA APPLEBAUM: They could only stay on for so long!
Dom is back to his feet caught by surprise by an ascending Stoker who slams Dom down with an inverted DDT! As Stoker positions himself to put the hurt back on Dom, Salvo is up and he slams a soccer kick hard into Stoker’s spine and slams him back down to the canvas with a side backbreaker and transitions smoothly into a cover!
ONE—
NINA APPLEBAUM: Kickout by Stoker right at one!
BRAD STOKES: He’s effectively their worst nightmare. I hope they realize this.
Dom DiBona rolls his way out of the ring, leaving Salvo to follow-up with a series of mounted punches that Stoker powers his way out of, surprising Salvo who pursues him indiscriminately. Laying a series of stiff kicks into Stoker’s back as he rises to his knee, catches Salvo’s leg and sends him down to the canvas with a vicious dragon screw! As Stoker rises ominously back to his feet, Dom is back onto the ring apron and springboarding himself into the ring t plant Stoker with a tornado DDT!
BRAD STOKES: Dom with the cover!
ONE—
NINA APPLEBAUM: Kickout at one!
BRAD STOKES: High impact, fast-paced action inside of that ring. It’s anyone’s game but I gotta say Stoker looks nearly unstoppable in there.
Dom climbs to his feet, as Stoker rises up and glares at him. Dom sends a series of hard-hitting strikes that Stoker rises up into and lands a few of his own only to be suddenly surprised by a sudden Owen Salvo german suplex!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Salvo taking advantage of the three-way.
BRAD STOKES: That sounds so dirty.
NINA APPLEBAUM: It’s true!
BRAD STOKES: I know! That’s why I said it!
Salvo is up to his feet as Stoker rolls out under the ring ropes. Dom impressively cartwheels at Salvo and takes him down with a headscissor then swiftly springboards off the ropes and drops a headbutt down onto the prone Salvo!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Stunning springboard headbutt by Dom DiBona!
Dom has the crowd riled up and popping loudly as he half-dares Stoker to meet him in the ring! Stoker shakes his head as he stalks outside the ring. Dom trying to incite him to enter as the crowd is loud and popping like crazy! Salvo stutters to his knees and rolls Dom up!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Quick roll-up by Owen Salvo!
1…
2…
THR—
NINA APPLEBAUM: Kickout by Dom!
BRAD STOKES: He needs to stay focused!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Stoker doesn’t seem to threatened by much at this time. He barely blinked at that roll-up.
BRAD STOKES: He transcends roll-ups, Nina.
Stoker climbs up the ring steps as Dom is on his feet, and Salvo is up at the same time driving a back elbow into Dom and whipping him for the ropes, aimed right at Stoker who avoids Dom’s rebounding body. Salvo loads up for a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker only to be surprised by Dom DiBona’s swift reversal into a headscissor takedown!
NINA APPLEBAUM: This crowd loves Dom DiBona.
Stoker climbs slowly into the ring and Dom rushes to meet him landing a lou thesz press with punches that doesn’t last long as Stoker powerfully forces Dom off of him!
BRAD STOKES: Stoker is not having it, dude!
Stoker rises to his feet and lays a profound set of stomps down into Dom DiBona that has Dom struggling before Salvo rushes in with a double axe-handle that stuns Stoker momentarily. Salvo keeps striking and striking before Stoker turns to him meet him and lays him out with a loaded haymaker that has Salvo reeling!
NINA APPLEBAUM: The might of Stoker is definitely something to be feared!
Dom DiBona is back on his feet and he delivers a high-impact standing overcastle on Stoker that pops the crowd once more! Dom DiBona is on his feet pumped and ready to end this thing! But Stoker once more rises up ominously leaving Dom wide-eyed at Stoker’s durability. Salvo is on his feet too and he stuns DiBona with a backelbow right into a surprise facebuster that drops Dom!
BRAD STOKES: That Owen Salvo is a firecracker, though!
Salvo is up to his feet and handspringing into a backelbow that surprises Stoker all the way back into the corner! Salvo slams elbow strikes into Stoker repeatedly that manage to stagger Stoker before he slams a vicious headbutt into Salvo that gives Stoker room to get out of the corner. Salvo is winded and obviously weakened by Stoker’s strikes, but Salvo powers through the hard strikes of Stoker and delivers a standing drop kick that knocks Stoker up and over the ropes landing to the outside! Dom DiBona is up before Salvo can turn his attention to him, and DiBona slams Salvo down with a surprise rolling german suplex right into a sitout wheelbarrow facebuster!
NINA APPLEBAUM: DOMIN8D!!!! DIBONA WITH THE COVER!
1..
2…
3!!
“Get Free” by the Vines kicks onto the speakers as the fans erupt. Dom DiBona is shocked as he climbs to his feet.
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: Here is your winner… and NEW Paramount Champion…. DOM…. DIBONAAAAAAAA!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Amazing! Simply stunning! I don’t think Dom DiBona believes it himself!
Stoker, on the outside has risen to look into the ring with a deadpan expression. Dom glares through the ropes out at him. Stoker, rather surprisingly, begins to smirk, which turns into a dismissive laugh as he turns his back to Dom and walks up the ramp.
BRAD STOKES: What did that mean?
NINA APPLEBAUM: Hard to say with Stoker. I’m sure that’s not the end of it between these two. But for now.. we have a new Paramount Champion!
BRAD STOKES: Hard earned. Dom DiBona has suffered quite a lot to get to this point.
NINA APPLEBAUM: But he’s here. And that’s all that matters.
Dom raises the Paramount Championship high overhead amidst the pop of the crowd!
NINA APPLEBAUM: What a night we’ve had so far, and there’s still one more big match left to go.
BRAD STOKES: With an entire company on the line, to say nothing of the Resilience Championship.
NINA APPLEBAUM: We’ll be back after these words from our sponsors, to see how this all ends up. Stay tuned!
NINA APPLEBAUM: There they are fans. One by one, single-file, some of the best competitors the Paramount Division has to offer.
BRAD STOKES: You say that about every single person.
NINA APPLEBAUM: We have a really solid roster.
BRAD STOKES: Not Dom Lawson.
NINA APPLEBAUM: That’s because you have a vendetta with him.
BRAD STOKES: I think we can consider me the victor and that vendetta safely squashed after Benny Stevens killed him earlier.
NINA APPLEBAUM: We shall see.
Inside the ring, Theo Refano shows the Paramount Championship to the roaring throngs in the stands as Stoker, Owen Salvo and Dom DiBona stand in the ring looking ready.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Stoker and Dom DiBona have met before, to bloody results. And Owen Salvo missed his chance to compete against Dom for a number one contendership weeks ago thanks to Stoker’s mysterious consort, Alexxa Keenan.
BRAD STOKES: It’s all culminating here and now.
DING! DING! DING!
At the bell Stoker moves faster than you’d think he could charging at Dom with a superman punch that clocks Dom hard and drops him like a bad habit!
BRAD STOKES: He put some STANK on that one!
Owen Salvo rushes to Dom’s aid only to be met with a vicious back elbow from Stoker that backs Salvo up and then Stoker slams him back down with an inverted atomic drop followed up by a running clothesline that flattens Owen Salvo! Dom DiBona is back to his feet and charging Stoker only to be surprised with a double-knee facebreaker!
NINA APPLEBAUM: THE IMMORTALIZER!!!
Dom is out fast as Stoker climbs to his feet and slams brutal hammer fists down into Dom from the mount position.
BRAD STOKES: Stoker is taking control of this match!
Owen Salvo is back up to his feet only to be met headon as Stoker rises off of Dom and traps Salvo quickly into a headlock and slams some dirty knee strikes up into Salvo’s face before dropping him with a reverse Russian Legsweep!
NINA APPLEBAUM: The sheer level of brutality in Stoker is likely unparalleled in this or any division! He’s taking on Owen Salvo and Dom DiBona!
Stoker mounts Salvo and drops some hard, punishing fists and elbows into Salvo who struggles to cover up, only halted as Dom rushes Stoker and intervenes with a surprise step enziguri that halts Stoker’s momentum and the crowd pops!
BRAD STOKES: That is so annoying. They DO know he like BECAME his enemy right? NO MORE MR. NICE GUY! IT’S A SHAM!
NINA APPLEBAUM: He’s doing what he has to do, Bradley!
BRAD STOKES: He’s gone heel, Nina. THE FANS WILL NOT STAND FOR IT.
NINA APPLEBAUM: You’re very passionate about this, aren’t you?
BRAD STOKES: I’m passionate about whatever the boss pays me to be passionate about, lady lumps. Get with the program or GET OUT!
Dom gets Stoker up to his feet but is met with stiff resistance in the form of a back elbow strike that staggers Dom. Stoker angrily whips Dom hard for the ropes aiming to send him right out of the ring only Dom hangs on to the ropes and ends up landing on the ring apron! Stoker rushes him only to be taken down by a drop-toe hold by Owen Salvo who skillfully rolls to his feet and locks on an Ankle lock onto Stoker!
NINA APPLEBAUM: And the match slowly evens out as Salvo is back in this thing!
Salvo torques the ankle lock on Stoker as Dom gets to his feet, spies his own opening and vaults over the ropes and drops an elbow onto Stoker’s head!
BRAD STOKES: Blatant double-teaming right there.
NINA APPLEBAUM: I think we all knew heading into this match it may take the both of them to put down Stoker.
Salvo isn’t entirely sold on the teamwork, dropping the ankle lock and immediately slamming a standing drop kick into Dom that flops DiBona into the corner with a look of surprise momentarily on his face before he rushes Salvo and drops him with a swinging neckbreaker!
BRAD STOKES: And the gloves have come off from all sides!
NINA APPLEBAUM: They could only stay on for so long!
Dom is back to his feet caught by surprise by an ascending Stoker who slams Dom down with an inverted DDT! As Stoker positions himself to put the hurt back on Dom, Salvo is up and he slams a soccer kick hard into Stoker’s spine and slams him back down to the canvas with a side backbreaker and transitions smoothly into a cover!
ONE—
NINA APPLEBAUM: Kickout by Stoker right at one!
BRAD STOKES: He’s effectively their worst nightmare. I hope they realize this.
Dom DiBona rolls his way out of the ring, leaving Salvo to follow-up with a series of mounted punches that Stoker powers his way out of, surprising Salvo who pursues him indiscriminately. Laying a series of stiff kicks into Stoker’s back as he rises to his knee, catches Salvo’s leg and sends him down to the canvas with a vicious dragon screw! As Stoker rises ominously back to his feet, Dom is back onto the ring apron and springboarding himself into the ring t plant Stoker with a tornado DDT!
BRAD STOKES: Dom with the cover!
ONE—
NINA APPLEBAUM: Kickout at one!
BRAD STOKES: High impact, fast-paced action inside of that ring. It’s anyone’s game but I gotta say Stoker looks nearly unstoppable in there.
Dom climbs to his feet, as Stoker rises up and glares at him. Dom sends a series of hard-hitting strikes that Stoker rises up into and lands a few of his own only to be suddenly surprised by a sudden Owen Salvo german suplex!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Salvo taking advantage of the three-way.
BRAD STOKES: That sounds so dirty.
NINA APPLEBAUM: It’s true!
BRAD STOKES: I know! That’s why I said it!
Salvo is up to his feet as Stoker rolls out under the ring ropes. Dom impressively cartwheels at Salvo and takes him down with a headscissor then swiftly springboards off the ropes and drops a headbutt down onto the prone Salvo!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Stunning springboard headbutt by Dom DiBona!
Dom has the crowd riled up and popping loudly as he half-dares Stoker to meet him in the ring! Stoker shakes his head as he stalks outside the ring. Dom trying to incite him to enter as the crowd is loud and popping like crazy! Salvo stutters to his knees and rolls Dom up!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Quick roll-up by Owen Salvo!
1…
2…
THR—
NINA APPLEBAUM: Kickout by Dom!
BRAD STOKES: He needs to stay focused!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Stoker doesn’t seem to threatened by much at this time. He barely blinked at that roll-up.
BRAD STOKES: He transcends roll-ups, Nina.
Stoker climbs up the ring steps as Dom is on his feet, and Salvo is up at the same time driving a back elbow into Dom and whipping him for the ropes, aimed right at Stoker who avoids Dom’s rebounding body. Salvo loads up for a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker only to be surprised by Dom DiBona’s swift reversal into a headscissor takedown!
NINA APPLEBAUM: This crowd loves Dom DiBona.
Stoker climbs slowly into the ring and Dom rushes to meet him landing a lou thesz press with punches that doesn’t last long as Stoker powerfully forces Dom off of him!
BRAD STOKES: Stoker is not having it, dude!
Stoker rises to his feet and lays a profound set of stomps down into Dom DiBona that has Dom struggling before Salvo rushes in with a double axe-handle that stuns Stoker momentarily. Salvo keeps striking and striking before Stoker turns to him meet him and lays him out with a loaded haymaker that has Salvo reeling!
NINA APPLEBAUM: The might of Stoker is definitely something to be feared!
Dom DiBona is back on his feet and he delivers a high-impact standing overcastle on Stoker that pops the crowd once more! Dom DiBona is on his feet pumped and ready to end this thing! But Stoker once more rises up ominously leaving Dom wide-eyed at Stoker’s durability. Salvo is on his feet too and he stuns DiBona with a backelbow right into a surprise facebuster that drops Dom!
BRAD STOKES: That Owen Salvo is a firecracker, though!
Salvo is up to his feet and handspringing into a backelbow that surprises Stoker all the way back into the corner! Salvo slams elbow strikes into Stoker repeatedly that manage to stagger Stoker before he slams a vicious headbutt into Salvo that gives Stoker room to get out of the corner. Salvo is winded and obviously weakened by Stoker’s strikes, but Salvo powers through the hard strikes of Stoker and delivers a standing drop kick that knocks Stoker up and over the ropes landing to the outside! Dom DiBona is up before Salvo can turn his attention to him, and DiBona slams Salvo down with a surprise rolling german suplex right into a sitout wheelbarrow facebuster!
NINA APPLEBAUM: DOMIN8D!!!! DIBONA WITH THE COVER!
1..
2…
3!!
DING! DING! DING!
“Get Free” by the Vines kicks onto the speakers as the fans erupt. Dom DiBona is shocked as he climbs to his feet.
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: Here is your winner… and NEW Paramount Champion…. DOM…. DIBONAAAAAAAA!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Amazing! Simply stunning! I don’t think Dom DiBona believes it himself!
Stoker, on the outside has risen to look into the ring with a deadpan expression. Dom glares through the ropes out at him. Stoker, rather surprisingly, begins to smirk, which turns into a dismissive laugh as he turns his back to Dom and walks up the ramp.
BRAD STOKES: What did that mean?
NINA APPLEBAUM: Hard to say with Stoker. I’m sure that’s not the end of it between these two. But for now.. we have a new Paramount Champion!
BRAD STOKES: Hard earned. Dom DiBona has suffered quite a lot to get to this point.
NINA APPLEBAUM: But he’s here. And that’s all that matters.
Dom raises the Paramount Championship high overhead amidst the pop of the crowd!
NINA APPLEBAUM: What a night we’ve had so far, and there’s still one more big match left to go.
BRAD STOKES: With an entire company on the line, to say nothing of the Resilience Championship.
NINA APPLEBAUM: We’ll be back after these words from our sponsors, to see how this all ends up. Stay tuned!
Drifting shot of a wrestler seated in a chair with the nameplate, HANDSOME DAN HOMBRE looking somber. The music is tense but depressing.
HANDSOME DAN HOMBRE: So… there I was…
Quick cuts of a tense wrestling match between Handsome Dan and Big Bad Terry Garvy.
HANDSOME DAN HOMBRE: I had just cut… the most amazing promo… I mean I ran up and down this guy… I absolutely SMOKED him… Everyone knew I’d beat him… everyone…
Handsome Dan wipes a tear from his eye. Quick cuts of tense commentary as Big Bad Terry Garvy reverses Handsome Dan’s finishing maneuver!
1…
2…
3!
COMMENTARY VOICE OVER: TERRY GARVY WINS! TERRY GARVY WINS!
HANDSOME DAN HOMBRE: But… he won… and all of his promos were off-camera.
The tense music grows tenser! Close-up of the pain this has caused Handsome Dan.
HANDSOME DAN HOMBRE: I don’t understand. What… did I do… wrong?
So many tears.
ANNOUNCER: For years you’ve watched the pristine productions of all your favorite wrestling federations! But now… Ktel brings you the DVD you’ve been waiting for…
ANNOUNCER: BEHOLD all the backstage drama!
Shocking behind the scenes footage of blurred out wrestler’s faces being held back from a fight.
ANGRY BLURRED OUT WRESTLER: YOU HAD SEX WITH MY GIRL IN THE TWITTER DMS!
OTHER ANGRY BLURRED OUT WRESTLER: SHE WANTED IT GOTDAMMIT! YOUR GIRL'S A HO!
Fistifcuffs break out. Cut to an interview with a blurred out face of a promoter.
PROMOTER: I don’t know if fans know this, but half the time I just pick my friends to win and.. SCREW THE REST OF THEM.
Cut to another promoter.
ANOTHER PROMOTER: Oh yeah, I wrestle in my federation all the time. I’m the champ right now!
ANNOUNCER: CONFLICT! BEHIND THE SCENES DRAMA that you MISSED watching the shows! That you NEVER KNEW as a fan and that you can learn now! Catch it all on the two disc set containing some of the most shocking footage and interviews you’ve never-before seen.
PERRY WALLACE: All that shit you see? All that shit? Its bogus. I was just trying to get a Bally’s Season Pass, and somehow it erupted into this twitter war with Boardwalk Wrestling.
ANNOUNCER: Hours of interviews and commentary with some of the most well-known personalities in wrestling laying bare all the TRUTH about the wrestling business.
PERRY WALLACE: And then Hackerman showed up and I don’t know what the fuck.
ANNOUNCER: WRESTLING’S GREATEST SCANDALS! OWN IT NOW ON BLU-RAY OR DVD!
HANDSOME DAN HOMBRE: So… there I was…
Quick cuts of a tense wrestling match between Handsome Dan and Big Bad Terry Garvy.
HANDSOME DAN HOMBRE: I had just cut… the most amazing promo… I mean I ran up and down this guy… I absolutely SMOKED him… Everyone knew I’d beat him… everyone…
Handsome Dan wipes a tear from his eye. Quick cuts of tense commentary as Big Bad Terry Garvy reverses Handsome Dan’s finishing maneuver!
1…
2…
3!
COMMENTARY VOICE OVER: TERRY GARVY WINS! TERRY GARVY WINS!
HANDSOME DAN HOMBRE: But… he won… and all of his promos were off-camera.
The tense music grows tenser! Close-up of the pain this has caused Handsome Dan.
HANDSOME DAN HOMBRE: I don’t understand. What… did I do… wrong?
So many tears.
ANNOUNCER: For years you’ve watched the pristine productions of all your favorite wrestling federations! But now… Ktel brings you the DVD you’ve been waiting for…
WRESTLING’S GREATEST SCANDALS!
ANNOUNCER: BEHOLD all the backstage drama!
Shocking behind the scenes footage of blurred out wrestler’s faces being held back from a fight.
ANGRY BLURRED OUT WRESTLER: YOU HAD SEX WITH MY GIRL IN THE TWITTER DMS!
OTHER ANGRY BLURRED OUT WRESTLER: SHE WANTED IT GOTDAMMIT! YOUR GIRL'S A HO!
Fistifcuffs break out. Cut to an interview with a blurred out face of a promoter.
PROMOTER: I don’t know if fans know this, but half the time I just pick my friends to win and.. SCREW THE REST OF THEM.
Cut to another promoter.
ANOTHER PROMOTER: Oh yeah, I wrestle in my federation all the time. I’m the champ right now!
ANNOUNCER: CONFLICT! BEHIND THE SCENES DRAMA that you MISSED watching the shows! That you NEVER KNEW as a fan and that you can learn now! Catch it all on the two disc set containing some of the most shocking footage and interviews you’ve never-before seen.
PERRY WALLACE: All that shit you see? All that shit? Its bogus. I was just trying to get a Bally’s Season Pass, and somehow it erupted into this twitter war with Boardwalk Wrestling.
ANNOUNCER: Hours of interviews and commentary with some of the most well-known personalities in wrestling laying bare all the TRUTH about the wrestling business.
PERRY WALLACE: And then Hackerman showed up and I don’t know what the fuck.
ANNOUNCER: WRESTLING’S GREATEST SCANDALS! OWN IT NOW ON BLU-RAY OR DVD!
NINA APPLEBAUM: And we’re back. And we see, fight fans, inside that ring four of the top competitors in the Resilience Division.
BRAD STOKES: Again with this? Stop being so diplomatic. Fantana! Just say it! He’s our guy.
NINA APPLEBAUM: He’s YOUR guy.
BRAD STOKES: If you accepted bribes like I do he’d be your guy, too.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Let’s quickly turn to Marshall Douglas to introduce the match.
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: Ladies And Gentlemen we welcome you to our Main Event of the evening. It is a ladder match for the Resilience Championship, alongside the caveat that each competitor represents a stakeholder in the AWE, and whoever wins this match, plucking the Resilience Championship down from it’s perch over the ring, wins that stakeholder the office of the Chief Operating Officer of the AWE!
A pop from the crowd. Dangling over the ring is the Resilience Championship with the light bouncing off it. In each corner the wrestlers stand looking ready. On the outside, set up, is a lone ladder.
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: In this corner, representing Kassandrah… the challenger hailing from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania tipping the scales at 190 lbs…. he is… DARE… CLEMMENNNNNS!!
The crowd pops as Dare winks to the fans.
BRAD STOKES: I think he just winked at me, Nina. Does that make me gay now?
NINA APPLEBAUM: I really don’t know, Bradley.
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: Annnd in this corner… the challenger, hailing from Baltimore Maryland, representing Thirteen, standing at 5’6 inches tall… she is… “Bang, Bang” BINDDDYYYYYY TRENT!
The crowd pops and Bindy waves.
NINA APPLEBAUM: A big opportunity here for two newcomers.
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: And in this corner… the challenger… hailing from Toronto, Canada representing Francis Ford Cuppola—
Austin steps quietly across the ring and whispers something in Marshall Douglas’ ear.
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: Sorry. Representing himself… and to a lesser extent Francis Ford Cuppola… weighing in at 180 lbs…. he is… AUSTIN…. GALE!
A pop as Austin lifts his arm.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Interesting twist there.
BRAD STOKES: This company needs new blood. Perhaps me and Austin can be pals after he wins this thing, hey?
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: And finally… in this corner… representing Chief Operating Officer T.S. Elliot…. He is the current Resilience Champion with a weight 205 pounds… he is… ZACK…. FANTANAAAAA!
The crowd pops as Zack rolls his neck.
BRAD STOKES: YES! THERE HE IS! YOU ALL ARE GOING DOWN!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Bradley, sit down!
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: LETS GET READY TO WRESSTTTTLLLLEEEE!
The crowd roars!
And we’re off, Bindy, Dare, Zack and Austin move from their corners carefully before Austin shifts focus immediately for Zack and ploughs him over with a shoulder block Fantana rolls through only to see Dare Clemmens rush him and aim a spinning side kick Fantana has to duck and deliver a side kick of his own to Dare’s back! Austin lays on a waistlock on Fantana but Zack quickly wriggles free and sends a donkey kick back into Austin’s jaw staggering Gale into the corner.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Fast and furious action to start as they’re all gunning for the champ!
BRAD STOKES: He’s the one to beat. The rest are nobodies. Quit kidding yourselves, children!
Bindy moves in and suplexes Zack before he can recover fully and she goes for some mounted punches only to be stunned by a thrusting knee from Austin Gale that lays Bindy out! Almost in retaliation for Bindy, Dare inverts a suplex and SLAMS Gale down quickly. Zack rolls his way out of the ring, leaving the three of them in there. Bindy is on her feet and drop kicks Dare Clemmens, sending him backward into the ropes and Bindy aims a wind-up punch for a staggered Dare only for him to duck last second, turn it around and have Bindy on the ropes as Dare sends a barrage of kicks into Bindy’s side’s before Austin Gale surprises him with a powerful t-bone suplex!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Zack Fantana is wisely recovering on the outside while the other three seem about ready to destroy one another.
Not Bindy, however, she moves off letting Austin lay a series of mounted punches into Dare Clemmens as she surprises Zack Fantana on the outside with a springboard cross-body that drops the champion to the outside! Inside the ring, Austin heaves Dare up, locking on a wrist lock Dare twists out of and sends Austin flying with an arm drag! As Bindy rises to her feet outside and lays some stomps to keep Zack down, Dare whips fast across the ring and leaps up and over the ropes and TOPPLES Bindy to the ground with a flying clothesline!
BRAD STOKES: Sweet merciful crap this night has seen some spectacular spots. I’m not getting paid to say that, either. I promise.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Yes you are.
BRAD STOKES: So?
Austin Gale is on his feet as Dare Clemmens lifts Zack Fantana up to his feet and launches a salvo of punches designed to keep the champ off-balance, only to be surprised by a sudden block of a punch and a fireman’s carry over and dropping Dare onto Bindy! Austin slides under the ropes and catches Zack off guard with a german suplex that sends Fantana landing HARD on the concrete.
BRAD STOKES: The Champ is down… damn.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Arguably, Austin Gale is the meanest of the bunch in that ring right now. He’s managed a track record of violent bouts against his opponents leading up to this match.
BRAD STOKES: So long as he knows I’m provisionally cheering for him until he loses. IF he loses, I said. IF!
NINA APPLEBAUM: A man for all seasons, huh, Brad?
BRAD STOKES: I just want people to like me.
Dare is up, dragging Bindy to her feet but she surprises him with a snap suplex that has his back slam off the conrete rather hard. As Austin stomps a mudhole down into Zack he loses sight of Bindy who takes him down with a sudden chop block, hoists him back to his feet and drop kicks him right back down!
NINA APPLEBAUM: No mistakes allowed in a match like this!
With all three of the men down, Bindy sets her sights on the ladder and makes her way for it. It’s Austin Gale who catches her off-guard with a vicious bulldog into the concrete.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Fantana and Dare are down, the concrete did it’s work. And now Austin Gale looks to want to end this thing, going for that ladder.
Austin folds up the ladder and slides it into the ring as Bindy rises to her feet. On the other side of the ring, Dare is rising to his feet at the same time Zack Fantana is who lights Dare up with a sudden Shining Wizard that stuns Dare! And Fantana slides into the ring to meet Austin Gale, drop kicking Gale right back out of the ring!
BRAD STOKES: That’s why he’s the champ, mofos!
Bindy is in the ring before Zack can do much with the ladder and surprises Zack with a backdrop flip facebuster!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Innovative maneuver by Bindy Trent!
Dare stirs on the outside as Bindy goes for the ladder and works to set it up inside of the ring, but fails to angle it under the hanging Resilience Championship. Austin Gale slides in, preventing Bindy from finishing! She swings a kick for Austin, but he catches her in a capture suplex and sends her skidding painfully along the canvas!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Nice suplex there by Austin Gale!
Austin goes to work finishing what Bindy started, angling the ladder under the championship belt. Zack Fantana is on his feet, and Dare is on his on the outside and he slides into the ring just as Zack drop kicks the ladder, slamming it into Austin Gale and he drops the canvas with the ladder dropping on top of him! Zack watches Dare coming at him and reverses Dare’s momentum with an exploder suplex!
BRAD STOKES: No such luck for Dare Clemmens there! Don’t these people know that Zack Fantana is the champ for a reason?!
The field is laid out, leaving Zack to pant his way over to plucking the ladder up off Austin Gale, and he sets it up under the resilience belt. He makes it one rung up the ladder before Bindy Trent peels him off with a wicked dragon suplex!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Bindy’s climbing the ladder!
BRAD STOKES: That’s not the way this is supposed to go!
Dare and Zack are still down as Austin stirs to see Bindy halfway up the ladder and climbing. She’s nearly at the top, about to reach the belt when Austin rises rapidly and rushes the ladder, kicking it out from under Bindy and sends her crashing down all the way out of the ring to the outside!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Bindy Trent almost had it!
BRAD STOKES: Again, we’ve been over this. Almost is like trying. It’s not doing. Bindy’s got a long way to go!
With Bindy landing hard on the outside, Zack works to restore the ladder under the hanging belt. He starts the climb, just as Zack Fantana lifts to a knee and makes his way up the other side of the ladder slamming punches at Austin through the rungs! Austin returns fire and soon the two have halted their ascent! Zack slams a hard kick into Austin Gale that teeters him off the ladder and Zack sees his opening, climbing up higher than Austin!
NINA APPLEBAUM: It’s almost a race here!
BRAD STOKES: It’s the cornerstone of any great ladder match. You don’t have to pin or defeat anyone. You just need to climb a ladder faster than your opponents and Zack’s got it!
Zack is up at the top of the ladder, but Austin recovers and climbs with all he’s got to reach the top and slam his a series of fists into Zack and before long the two are returning fire at the top of the ladder! It’s Dare’s turn to kick the ladder, surprising the two at the top! And the ladder teeters then topples sideways sending both Zack Fantana and Austin down hard to the outside with the Ladder on it’s side in the ring!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Dare’s all alone in the ring! Here’s his chance!
Dare stumbles at first, but sets the ladder up, and shakily begins the climb. On the outside, Bindy Trent has risen and has slid inside the ring!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Not so easy for Dare Clemmens!
Dare is climbing, but finds his climb halted as Bindy is at the foot of the ladder grabbing his ankle to tug him off! Dare kicks back at her forcing Bindy to fall away momentarily before lunging once more for Dare and kicking Dare off the ladder with a jump kick!
BRAD STOKES: Nice extension. Good height. I’d give it a solid 6.7.
Fantana and Austin on the outside ignore one another and hurry into the ring as Bindy makes it a step up the ladder but stops herself seeing both of them rushing to stop her. Bindy surprises a charging Austin with an arm drag that sends him sliding across the canvas! It doesn’t keep Austin down for long, he rushes Bindy and slams into her with a clothesline that knocks them both over the ropes back to the outside!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Zack’s eyeing the title!
Zack Fantana starts the climb up the ladder just as Dare comes to inside of the ring. Zack is in a hurry, but weakened from the match. Dare is as well, and soon the pair find themselves at the top of the ladder pulverizing each other with sturdy blows before Fantana gets the upperhand and goes for broke superplexing Dare off the top of the ladder DOWN to the ring amid a wild POP from the crowd!
BRAD STOKES: And now they’re all down! WHO’S GONNA WIN, NINA!?
Bindy is climbing to her feet alongside Austin Gale who swings a fierce punch but Bindy ducks and swings Gale back down with another arm drag aimed to send Gale hard into the ring steps!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Collision there for Austin Gale!
Inside the ring Zack Fantana drags to his feet and sets the ladder back up!
Bindy climbs under the ring ropes looking pretty tired as Zack Fantana starts to climb!
BRAD STOKES: SHE’S GOING TO RUIN IT FOR MY BOY! YOU'RE MY BOY, ZACK!
Bindy makes it to the ladder just as Zack is half way up, and much to Bindy’s surprise Zack spins around and SLAMS her down with a sudden tornado DDT that plants Bindy hard into the canvas!
BRAD STOKES: YES! TAKE THAT BECKY!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Your bias is showing.
BRAD STOKES: Nah, these pants don’t have a zipper, dude.
Zack is on his feet, and once more setting his sights up the ladder with no clear obstructions ins sight, he climbs back up the ladder.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Dare Clemmens is back in this though!
Dare wobbily finds his way back to his feet and finds a surge of adrenaline to carry him back up the ladder to meet Fantana where the two, once again, begin to exchange fierce blows!
BRAD STOKES: Bindy’s getting back up?!
Bindy finds herself on shaky footing as Dare and Zack jockey for a better position! Zack can spy Bindy out of the corner of his eye and momentarily loses focus! Dare launches Zack off the ladder down to the ring!
NINA APPLEBAUM: DARE CLEMMENS IS ALL ALONE UP THERE!
BRAD STOKES: BUT BINDY TRENT ISN’T FAR BEHIND!!! I CAN’T WATCH!
Dare reaches for the strap. Bindy shakes the ladder and Dare struggles to steady himself, finding himself suddenly at Bindy’s mercy as she rocks the ladder to and fro and Dare loses balance! Bindy quickly jostles the ladder and tips it! The ladder comes crashing down to the ring!
NINA APPLEBAUM: DARE IS HANGING ON TO THE RESILIENCE TITLE!
BRAD STOKES: HELL TO THE NO!
With a flex of abdominals Dare does a pull up and down, going for broke and finding himself clutching the Resilience Title off its hook and crashing rather painfully down onto the canvas with the belt atop him!
BRAD STOKES: NO!!!
“Suburbia” by Kavinsky (featuring Havoc) begins to play as Tony Chu rushes ringside looking like he just won the belt himself!
NINA APPLEBAUM: WE HAVE A NEW CHAMPION!
BRAD STOKES: AND IT BLOWS!
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: Here is your winner… AND NEW RESILIENCE CHAMPION…. DARE…. CLEMMENSSSS!!!
The crowd pops as Dare is sluggish getting to his feet, surprisingly helped by Bindy Trent who gives him a congratulatory hug before letting him and his manager raise the Resilience Belt together!
BRAD STOKES: Probably going to be sick, Nina.
NINA APPLEBAUM: AUnbelievable finish! We have a new Resilience Champion. A New Paramount Champion. New Dynamic Champions and a BRAND NEW Chief Operating Officer!
BRAD STOKES: Don’t remind me!
NINA APPLEBAUM: This is unprecedented, AWEphiles! It’s the birth of a whole new era here in the AWE, and it’s the end of an old one all in one night.
BRAD STOKES: Do you have to rub that in, really?
NINA APPLEBAUM: I’m just stating the obvious, Bradley. This is uncharted waters now. And we’re going to have to see what happens. Will there be a smooth exchange of power? How will these new champions fare with the new weight added to their duffel bags! It’s so exciting.
BRAD STOKES: gonna be SICK here, ya… poon dogger.
NINA APPLEBAUM: No one likes a sore loser, Bradley! So many questions to be answered now, fight fans. And there’s only one place to find those answers, and that’s right here, at the AWE. For me, Nina Applebaum, and my slowly deteriorating announce partner, Brad Stokes… you’ve been watching Executive Action. Thank you! And good night!
BRAD STOKES: Again with this? Stop being so diplomatic. Fantana! Just say it! He’s our guy.
NINA APPLEBAUM: He’s YOUR guy.
BRAD STOKES: If you accepted bribes like I do he’d be your guy, too.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Let’s quickly turn to Marshall Douglas to introduce the match.
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: Ladies And Gentlemen we welcome you to our Main Event of the evening. It is a ladder match for the Resilience Championship, alongside the caveat that each competitor represents a stakeholder in the AWE, and whoever wins this match, plucking the Resilience Championship down from it’s perch over the ring, wins that stakeholder the office of the Chief Operating Officer of the AWE!
A pop from the crowd. Dangling over the ring is the Resilience Championship with the light bouncing off it. In each corner the wrestlers stand looking ready. On the outside, set up, is a lone ladder.
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: In this corner, representing Kassandrah… the challenger hailing from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania tipping the scales at 190 lbs…. he is… DARE… CLEMMENNNNNS!!
The crowd pops as Dare winks to the fans.
BRAD STOKES: I think he just winked at me, Nina. Does that make me gay now?
NINA APPLEBAUM: I really don’t know, Bradley.
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: Annnd in this corner… the challenger, hailing from Baltimore Maryland, representing Thirteen, standing at 5’6 inches tall… she is… “Bang, Bang” BINDDDYYYYYY TRENT!
The crowd pops and Bindy waves.
NINA APPLEBAUM: A big opportunity here for two newcomers.
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: And in this corner… the challenger… hailing from Toronto, Canada representing Francis Ford Cuppola—
Austin steps quietly across the ring and whispers something in Marshall Douglas’ ear.
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: Sorry. Representing himself… and to a lesser extent Francis Ford Cuppola… weighing in at 180 lbs…. he is… AUSTIN…. GALE!
A pop as Austin lifts his arm.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Interesting twist there.
BRAD STOKES: This company needs new blood. Perhaps me and Austin can be pals after he wins this thing, hey?
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: And finally… in this corner… representing Chief Operating Officer T.S. Elliot…. He is the current Resilience Champion with a weight 205 pounds… he is… ZACK…. FANTANAAAAA!
The crowd pops as Zack rolls his neck.
BRAD STOKES: YES! THERE HE IS! YOU ALL ARE GOING DOWN!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Bradley, sit down!
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: LETS GET READY TO WRESSTTTTLLLLEEEE!
The crowd roars!
DING! DING! DING!
And we’re off, Bindy, Dare, Zack and Austin move from their corners carefully before Austin shifts focus immediately for Zack and ploughs him over with a shoulder block Fantana rolls through only to see Dare Clemmens rush him and aim a spinning side kick Fantana has to duck and deliver a side kick of his own to Dare’s back! Austin lays on a waistlock on Fantana but Zack quickly wriggles free and sends a donkey kick back into Austin’s jaw staggering Gale into the corner.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Fast and furious action to start as they’re all gunning for the champ!
BRAD STOKES: He’s the one to beat. The rest are nobodies. Quit kidding yourselves, children!
Bindy moves in and suplexes Zack before he can recover fully and she goes for some mounted punches only to be stunned by a thrusting knee from Austin Gale that lays Bindy out! Almost in retaliation for Bindy, Dare inverts a suplex and SLAMS Gale down quickly. Zack rolls his way out of the ring, leaving the three of them in there. Bindy is on her feet and drop kicks Dare Clemmens, sending him backward into the ropes and Bindy aims a wind-up punch for a staggered Dare only for him to duck last second, turn it around and have Bindy on the ropes as Dare sends a barrage of kicks into Bindy’s side’s before Austin Gale surprises him with a powerful t-bone suplex!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Zack Fantana is wisely recovering on the outside while the other three seem about ready to destroy one another.
Not Bindy, however, she moves off letting Austin lay a series of mounted punches into Dare Clemmens as she surprises Zack Fantana on the outside with a springboard cross-body that drops the champion to the outside! Inside the ring, Austin heaves Dare up, locking on a wrist lock Dare twists out of and sends Austin flying with an arm drag! As Bindy rises to her feet outside and lays some stomps to keep Zack down, Dare whips fast across the ring and leaps up and over the ropes and TOPPLES Bindy to the ground with a flying clothesline!
BRAD STOKES: Sweet merciful crap this night has seen some spectacular spots. I’m not getting paid to say that, either. I promise.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Yes you are.
BRAD STOKES: So?
Austin Gale is on his feet as Dare Clemmens lifts Zack Fantana up to his feet and launches a salvo of punches designed to keep the champ off-balance, only to be surprised by a sudden block of a punch and a fireman’s carry over and dropping Dare onto Bindy! Austin slides under the ropes and catches Zack off guard with a german suplex that sends Fantana landing HARD on the concrete.
BRAD STOKES: The Champ is down… damn.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Arguably, Austin Gale is the meanest of the bunch in that ring right now. He’s managed a track record of violent bouts against his opponents leading up to this match.
BRAD STOKES: So long as he knows I’m provisionally cheering for him until he loses. IF he loses, I said. IF!
NINA APPLEBAUM: A man for all seasons, huh, Brad?
BRAD STOKES: I just want people to like me.
Dare is up, dragging Bindy to her feet but she surprises him with a snap suplex that has his back slam off the conrete rather hard. As Austin stomps a mudhole down into Zack he loses sight of Bindy who takes him down with a sudden chop block, hoists him back to his feet and drop kicks him right back down!
NINA APPLEBAUM: No mistakes allowed in a match like this!
With all three of the men down, Bindy sets her sights on the ladder and makes her way for it. It’s Austin Gale who catches her off-guard with a vicious bulldog into the concrete.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Fantana and Dare are down, the concrete did it’s work. And now Austin Gale looks to want to end this thing, going for that ladder.
Austin folds up the ladder and slides it into the ring as Bindy rises to her feet. On the other side of the ring, Dare is rising to his feet at the same time Zack Fantana is who lights Dare up with a sudden Shining Wizard that stuns Dare! And Fantana slides into the ring to meet Austin Gale, drop kicking Gale right back out of the ring!
BRAD STOKES: That’s why he’s the champ, mofos!
Bindy is in the ring before Zack can do much with the ladder and surprises Zack with a backdrop flip facebuster!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Innovative maneuver by Bindy Trent!
Dare stirs on the outside as Bindy goes for the ladder and works to set it up inside of the ring, but fails to angle it under the hanging Resilience Championship. Austin Gale slides in, preventing Bindy from finishing! She swings a kick for Austin, but he catches her in a capture suplex and sends her skidding painfully along the canvas!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Nice suplex there by Austin Gale!
Austin goes to work finishing what Bindy started, angling the ladder under the championship belt. Zack Fantana is on his feet, and Dare is on his on the outside and he slides into the ring just as Zack drop kicks the ladder, slamming it into Austin Gale and he drops the canvas with the ladder dropping on top of him! Zack watches Dare coming at him and reverses Dare’s momentum with an exploder suplex!
BRAD STOKES: No such luck for Dare Clemmens there! Don’t these people know that Zack Fantana is the champ for a reason?!
The field is laid out, leaving Zack to pant his way over to plucking the ladder up off Austin Gale, and he sets it up under the resilience belt. He makes it one rung up the ladder before Bindy Trent peels him off with a wicked dragon suplex!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Bindy’s climbing the ladder!
BRAD STOKES: That’s not the way this is supposed to go!
Dare and Zack are still down as Austin stirs to see Bindy halfway up the ladder and climbing. She’s nearly at the top, about to reach the belt when Austin rises rapidly and rushes the ladder, kicking it out from under Bindy and sends her crashing down all the way out of the ring to the outside!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Bindy Trent almost had it!
BRAD STOKES: Again, we’ve been over this. Almost is like trying. It’s not doing. Bindy’s got a long way to go!
With Bindy landing hard on the outside, Zack works to restore the ladder under the hanging belt. He starts the climb, just as Zack Fantana lifts to a knee and makes his way up the other side of the ladder slamming punches at Austin through the rungs! Austin returns fire and soon the two have halted their ascent! Zack slams a hard kick into Austin Gale that teeters him off the ladder and Zack sees his opening, climbing up higher than Austin!
NINA APPLEBAUM: It’s almost a race here!
BRAD STOKES: It’s the cornerstone of any great ladder match. You don’t have to pin or defeat anyone. You just need to climb a ladder faster than your opponents and Zack’s got it!
Zack is up at the top of the ladder, but Austin recovers and climbs with all he’s got to reach the top and slam his a series of fists into Zack and before long the two are returning fire at the top of the ladder! It’s Dare’s turn to kick the ladder, surprising the two at the top! And the ladder teeters then topples sideways sending both Zack Fantana and Austin down hard to the outside with the Ladder on it’s side in the ring!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Dare’s all alone in the ring! Here’s his chance!
Dare stumbles at first, but sets the ladder up, and shakily begins the climb. On the outside, Bindy Trent has risen and has slid inside the ring!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Not so easy for Dare Clemmens!
Dare is climbing, but finds his climb halted as Bindy is at the foot of the ladder grabbing his ankle to tug him off! Dare kicks back at her forcing Bindy to fall away momentarily before lunging once more for Dare and kicking Dare off the ladder with a jump kick!
BRAD STOKES: Nice extension. Good height. I’d give it a solid 6.7.
Fantana and Austin on the outside ignore one another and hurry into the ring as Bindy makes it a step up the ladder but stops herself seeing both of them rushing to stop her. Bindy surprises a charging Austin with an arm drag that sends him sliding across the canvas! It doesn’t keep Austin down for long, he rushes Bindy and slams into her with a clothesline that knocks them both over the ropes back to the outside!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Zack’s eyeing the title!
Zack Fantana starts the climb up the ladder just as Dare comes to inside of the ring. Zack is in a hurry, but weakened from the match. Dare is as well, and soon the pair find themselves at the top of the ladder pulverizing each other with sturdy blows before Fantana gets the upperhand and goes for broke superplexing Dare off the top of the ladder DOWN to the ring amid a wild POP from the crowd!
BRAD STOKES: And now they’re all down! WHO’S GONNA WIN, NINA!?
Bindy is climbing to her feet alongside Austin Gale who swings a fierce punch but Bindy ducks and swings Gale back down with another arm drag aimed to send Gale hard into the ring steps!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Collision there for Austin Gale!
Inside the ring Zack Fantana drags to his feet and sets the ladder back up!
Bindy climbs under the ring ropes looking pretty tired as Zack Fantana starts to climb!
BRAD STOKES: SHE’S GOING TO RUIN IT FOR MY BOY! YOU'RE MY BOY, ZACK!
Bindy makes it to the ladder just as Zack is half way up, and much to Bindy’s surprise Zack spins around and SLAMS her down with a sudden tornado DDT that plants Bindy hard into the canvas!
BRAD STOKES: YES! TAKE THAT BECKY!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Your bias is showing.
BRAD STOKES: Nah, these pants don’t have a zipper, dude.
Zack is on his feet, and once more setting his sights up the ladder with no clear obstructions ins sight, he climbs back up the ladder.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Dare Clemmens is back in this though!
Dare wobbily finds his way back to his feet and finds a surge of adrenaline to carry him back up the ladder to meet Fantana where the two, once again, begin to exchange fierce blows!
BRAD STOKES: Bindy’s getting back up?!
Bindy finds herself on shaky footing as Dare and Zack jockey for a better position! Zack can spy Bindy out of the corner of his eye and momentarily loses focus! Dare launches Zack off the ladder down to the ring!
NINA APPLEBAUM: DARE CLEMMENS IS ALL ALONE UP THERE!
BRAD STOKES: BUT BINDY TRENT ISN’T FAR BEHIND!!! I CAN’T WATCH!
Dare reaches for the strap. Bindy shakes the ladder and Dare struggles to steady himself, finding himself suddenly at Bindy’s mercy as she rocks the ladder to and fro and Dare loses balance! Bindy quickly jostles the ladder and tips it! The ladder comes crashing down to the ring!
NINA APPLEBAUM: DARE IS HANGING ON TO THE RESILIENCE TITLE!
BRAD STOKES: HELL TO THE NO!
With a flex of abdominals Dare does a pull up and down, going for broke and finding himself clutching the Resilience Title off its hook and crashing rather painfully down onto the canvas with the belt atop him!
BRAD STOKES: NO!!!
DING! DING! DING!
“Suburbia” by Kavinsky (featuring Havoc) begins to play as Tony Chu rushes ringside looking like he just won the belt himself!
NINA APPLEBAUM: WE HAVE A NEW CHAMPION!
BRAD STOKES: AND IT BLOWS!
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: Here is your winner… AND NEW RESILIENCE CHAMPION…. DARE…. CLEMMENSSSS!!!
The crowd pops as Dare is sluggish getting to his feet, surprisingly helped by Bindy Trent who gives him a congratulatory hug before letting him and his manager raise the Resilience Belt together!
BRAD STOKES: Probably going to be sick, Nina.
NINA APPLEBAUM: AUnbelievable finish! We have a new Resilience Champion. A New Paramount Champion. New Dynamic Champions and a BRAND NEW Chief Operating Officer!
BRAD STOKES: Don’t remind me!
NINA APPLEBAUM: This is unprecedented, AWEphiles! It’s the birth of a whole new era here in the AWE, and it’s the end of an old one all in one night.
BRAD STOKES: Do you have to rub that in, really?
NINA APPLEBAUM: I’m just stating the obvious, Bradley. This is uncharted waters now. And we’re going to have to see what happens. Will there be a smooth exchange of power? How will these new champions fare with the new weight added to their duffel bags! It’s so exciting.
BRAD STOKES: gonna be SICK here, ya… poon dogger.
NINA APPLEBAUM: No one likes a sore loser, Bradley! So many questions to be answered now, fight fans. And there’s only one place to find those answers, and that’s right here, at the AWE. For me, Nina Applebaum, and my slowly deteriorating announce partner, Brad Stokes… you’ve been watching Executive Action. Thank you! And good night!
The console screen blinked off with finality. There, in the darkened room, a stone-faced Thomas Shane Elliot slumped back in his chair and stared blankly downward.
THOMAS SHANE ELLIOT: *glumly* So, I guess that’s it then.
Silence engulfed the already dark and gloomy room. The red glowing eye of the Hal 10,000 resided on the other, still active monitors on his desk.
HAL 10,000: Did you wish me to gas the arena with cyanide, Grand Overlord?
THOMAS SHANE ELLIOT: No.
Sullen and grieved, his blank downward stare slowly drifted towards the hand gun sitting on his desk as he collected his thoughts.
HAL 10,000: I’m sorry, sir.
THOMAS SHANE ELLIOT: Not your fault.
His hand came to rest on the handle of the Beretta, a finger teased the trigger.
HAL 10,000: What are you going to do, sir?
THOMAS SHANE ELLIOT: I haven’t decided yet. But I can think of a few things.
He plucked the gun from the desk and held up into the light. He checked the chamber. And slowly we fade….
THOMAS SHANE ELLIOT: *glumly* So, I guess that’s it then.
Silence engulfed the already dark and gloomy room. The red glowing eye of the Hal 10,000 resided on the other, still active monitors on his desk.
HAL 10,000: Did you wish me to gas the arena with cyanide, Grand Overlord?
THOMAS SHANE ELLIOT: No.
Sullen and grieved, his blank downward stare slowly drifted towards the hand gun sitting on his desk as he collected his thoughts.
HAL 10,000: I’m sorry, sir.
THOMAS SHANE ELLIOT: Not your fault.
His hand came to rest on the handle of the Beretta, a finger teased the trigger.
HAL 10,000: What are you going to do, sir?
THOMAS SHANE ELLIOT: I haven’t decided yet. But I can think of a few things.
He plucked the gun from the desk and held up into the light. He checked the chamber. And slowly we fade….
Everything’s fairly quiet in the backstage area until Tony Chu followed by Dare Clemmens come blowing through the entrance. Dare is still worn out, but looks pretty happy to have the Resilience Championship over his shoulder. Tony, meanwhile, looks like…
TONY CHU: Someone needs to come over here and douse me in Gatorade! What an incredible job I did...you did...we did! Dare it’s only up from here, buddy!
DARE CLEMMENS: Means I might get paid here soon?
TONY CHU: Yeah yeah about that, I figured out my accountant is just a bit confused, don’t worry though, we’ll get that all sorted out and get you paid.
DARE CLEMMENS: Awesome.
Tony turns his attention away from his Client and seems expectant.
TONY CHU: Where is Kassandrah?
DARE CLEMMENS: Yeah, I figured she’d be pretty happy right now and want to congratulate us.
TONY CHU: Me, but yeah, you too, probably. Kassandrah!
Tony approaches a staffer and taps him on the shoulder while Dare disappears.
TONY CHU: Where’s Kassandrah? I expected her to meet me.
STAFFER: She’s been injured.
TONY CHU: What?
STAFFER: She was assaulted by a masked man.
TONY CHU: Wait, what? Masked what?
STAFFER: We tried to let you know, but when the page was running to the ring, someone took her red hat so she came back upset.
TONY CHU: What?
STAFFER: It’s a reference to a Rocky movie.
Tony shakes his head.
TONY CHU: Where did they take her?
STAFFER: St. Vincent Hospital.
Before Tony can respond, Dare comes around the corner with a big grin on his face and a large cooler of Gatorade and promptly empties it over Tony’s head. Tony lets out an aggravated sigh as he turns to Dare, shaking like a wet dog.
DARE CLEMMENS: Congratulations!
TONY CHU: I wasn’t serious about the Gatorade!
DARE CLEMMENS: Oh, my bad.
TONY CHU: We need to get to the hospital.
DARE CLEMMENS: Oh god, that wasn’t Gatorade?
TONY CHU: No! We need to check on Kassandrah!
A soggy Tony Chu and a barely clothed Dare Clemmens run down the hallway, headed for the arena exit.
TONY CHU: Someone needs to come over here and douse me in Gatorade! What an incredible job I did...you did...we did! Dare it’s only up from here, buddy!
DARE CLEMMENS: Means I might get paid here soon?
TONY CHU: Yeah yeah about that, I figured out my accountant is just a bit confused, don’t worry though, we’ll get that all sorted out and get you paid.
DARE CLEMMENS: Awesome.
Tony turns his attention away from his Client and seems expectant.
TONY CHU: Where is Kassandrah?
DARE CLEMMENS: Yeah, I figured she’d be pretty happy right now and want to congratulate us.
TONY CHU: Me, but yeah, you too, probably. Kassandrah!
Tony approaches a staffer and taps him on the shoulder while Dare disappears.
TONY CHU: Where’s Kassandrah? I expected her to meet me.
STAFFER: She’s been injured.
TONY CHU: What?
STAFFER: She was assaulted by a masked man.
TONY CHU: Wait, what? Masked what?
STAFFER: We tried to let you know, but when the page was running to the ring, someone took her red hat so she came back upset.
TONY CHU: What?
STAFFER: It’s a reference to a Rocky movie.
Tony shakes his head.
TONY CHU: Where did they take her?
STAFFER: St. Vincent Hospital.
Before Tony can respond, Dare comes around the corner with a big grin on his face and a large cooler of Gatorade and promptly empties it over Tony’s head. Tony lets out an aggravated sigh as he turns to Dare, shaking like a wet dog.
DARE CLEMMENS: Congratulations!
TONY CHU: I wasn’t serious about the Gatorade!
DARE CLEMMENS: Oh, my bad.
TONY CHU: We need to get to the hospital.
DARE CLEMMENS: Oh god, that wasn’t Gatorade?
TONY CHU: No! We need to check on Kassandrah!
A soggy Tony Chu and a barely clothed Dare Clemmens run down the hallway, headed for the arena exit.