Post by Colgate Carnage on Nov 18, 2016 0:57:04 GMT -5
New York City
AWE Headquarters
November 17, 2016
We open to the corporate headquarters of the AWE in downtown New York City. The corporate suits are walking in and out and amidst the hustle and bustle that comes with NYC, completely oblivious to the man standing in the middle of the lobby wearing a Pink Floyd Dark Side of the Moon shirt with the sleeves cut off to reveal his manly underarm hair. Colgate Carnage is his name and smiling is his game, a smile which he produces to one of the men on the reception desk.
“Hey it’s me, Colgate Carnage.”
The receptionist looks at Colgate, unmoved and unmotivated to even respond.
“You know, Colgate Carnage. I just signed with Alpha Wrestling Empire.”
The unfazed look continues to linger on the face of the receptionist. Suddenly a phone rings and he grabs at it swivels his head to the side so he doesn’t have to look at Colgate’s perfect smile while talking.
“I guess I’ll just find the floor on my own. It can’t be that hard.”
Colgate heads off on a mission towards the elevators he sees. The receptionist sees him leaving and yells out to tell him he can’t go up there but it’s no use, the sound of the busy lobby drowns him out. Colgate enters the lift and hits a random number. The doors close and after a few moments they reopen on level 12. CC heads out and looks around, spotting a young lady at a desk and decides to go hit her up with his trademark smile.
“Hey it’s me, Colgate Carnage. Do you think you’d be able to help me out?”
“Excuse me? WHO are you?”
She’s not impressed with what’s in front of her. He’s got a nice smile though but in corporate New York that’s not as rare as it might be where Colgate is from.
“I’m Colgate Carnage… I’m a wrestler with Alpha Wrestling Empire – or at least I will be. I’m looking for T.S. Elliot’s office. Do you know where it might be?”
If eye rolls could be heard then you’d be able to hear her eyes roll back at the mention of his name all over the world.
“I don’t know, I’m just a temp here. This floor is the office for Legends Active Wear, the number one active wear brand for hockey moms. You’ll have to go down to the receptionist in the lobby to find out what you want.”
“Oh, okay.”
A little dejected Colgate turns and heads back to the lift, once again hitting a random floor number. The doors open at level five this time. An assistant wearing headphones pushes his way into the lift with a tray of take away coffees and some muffins, death metal seeping out of the ear buds.
“Oh hey, I’ve seen assistants getting around the AWE offices with coffees in videos before. Is that where you’re going?
Colgate stares at the assistant who flat out ignores him. He can see Colgate looking at him from the corner of his eyes but chooses to pretend like the situation isn’t happening.
“Why is everyone ignoring me? I’m Colgate Carnage for fuck sake, don’t discount me like I’m fucking Crest Carnage or Aim Carnage. If Carman Cambridge can figure out where the AWE offices are then I should be able to do it no problem, right?”
The assistant, let’s say his name is Warren, continues to ignore Colgate.
“They got jokes and quips about my name but that’s it. They ain’t got anything real to say.”
Colgate grabs a muffin off the tray and tears into it with a bite, then spits it on the ground in front of Warren. His fist clenches tight around the remaining muffin and squeezes it so compacts and oozes out the sides of his large hand. Warren gulps and attempts to remain somewhat composed as the smell of fear seeps out of his pores.
“Not a one of them in the match want to act like they’ve got a thing to worry about because I don’t have championship wins in dead companies? The receptionists in this building want to act like I’m some hick not worthy of their time? Miranda only wants to be around me when I’ve got my clothes off. Yeah, the guy from Florida might not be the sharpest tool in the shed but he knows when he’s being taken for a ride.”
Colgate grabs a hold of the earphones cord and yanks it out of Warren’s ears.
“Things are going to change though. You watch. I’m going to win the Royal Rumble. I’m going to win the Resilience Championship and the added pay bonus that comes along with being a champion. They’ll all spend their airtime next week talking about how dangerous I am and how easily they’ll beat me. Unlike plaque on my teeth, they'll be able to see me. I’ll use some of that pay to take Miranda out some where nice and classy with candles on the table and where they only serve foreign beer, show her that I’m more than my cock. That all starts with you Warren, telling me how to get to Mr. Elliot’s office here in the AWE offices. Do you think you can help me with that champ?”
“Umm, sorry sir but there are no AWE offices here in this building.”
“WHUT?”