Massacre #3 - December 04, 2016
Dec 4, 2016 13:02:40 GMT -5
Caroline O'Hara Burchill, Anastasia Hayden, and 2 more like this
Post by Staff on Dec 4, 2016 13:02:40 GMT -5
Inside the familiar AWE Boardroom, Francis sat alone looking out the window with his cellular phone at his ear.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: The AWE? Please, it’s a joke.
Francis listened as whoever he was speaking to made an observation.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: I don’t know, they lost the Resilience Belt which is probably just under a desk somewhere, and who can tell if they even have any of the other belts. Meanwhile they have me looking for them because they’re all incompetent and wouldn’t know their ass from their own head. I’m telling you, I’m the only one with any sense around here.
More listening as Francis’ conversation partner says something to make Francis chuckle softly.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: S.O.B.? Sure! Everybody in the AWE are little S.O.B.’s.
More listening and soft chuckling as Francis turns his chair around to return to the boardroom table only to be greeted by the wide-eyed expressions of shock of Thirteen, Kassandrah, Rodney P, the two French Mime Assassins and Francis’ personal syrup dealer, Mister Mississagi. Francis eyes them uncomfortably. The speaker at the head of the boardroom table housing the voice of Mr. Smith barks at him.
MR. SMITH: FRANCIS! Will you turn that damn phone off!
Francis blinks ignorantly before speaking into the cell phone receiver.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: I’ll call you back.
He ends the call and smiles apologetically.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Sorry. Didn’t hear you guys walk in.
THIRTEEN: We’ve been here the whole time, Francis.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: The whole time?
KASSANDRAH: Yeah, we were in the middle of the meeting and you just turned around and made that phone call.
Francis blinks again and looks to Rodney P for confirmation. He nods an embarrassed and silent acquiescence. Francis slips his phone into his pocket
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Sorry.
Rodney whispers apologetically to the rest of the room.
RODNEY P: He stopped taking his meds a few days ago, so...
MR. SMITH: Right, moving on.
Attention, thankfully for Francis, shifts back to the talking speaker.
MR. SMITH: I’m afraid my confidence in T.S. is dwindling by the day.
THIRTEEN: It’s only been two events.
MR. SMITH: Agreed, but that’s two events T.S. has inexplicably managed to be absent from rather than be here doing his job.
THIRTEEN: Well, truthfully, that’s kind of my fault, Mr. Smith.
MR. SMITH: Is it? He’s left an awful lot up to be decided till the last minute which ends up creating these incidents, like securing us broadcast rights with the Channel Ocho.
Francis Smiles Proudly.
MR. SMITH: Which is to, in no way, detract from the seemingly infinite supply of idiotic entertainment you and Mr. Cuppola provide, Thirteen. If it weren’t for the actual wrestlers who have signed for the AWE this company would already be sunk.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: I can’t argue you with you there, but—
MR. SMITH: Pipe down, Cuppola. Look here, our third shareholders meeting and once again Thomas Shane Elliot is nowhere to be found.
Thirteen sheepishly lifts a guilty hand to speak.
THIRTEEN: I’m afraid this one’s my fault as well, sir.
A round of sighs around the table as Thirteen looks nervously around at her peers before continuing.
THIRTEEN: I didn’t mean anything by it.
MR. SMITH: *Wearily* What did you do?
THIRTEEN: All I did was give him a telescope to give him something to occupy his downtime. He’s been so stressed out about this company and everything that’s gone wrong already I thought a little amateur astronomy might calm his nerves.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Nothing wrong with a little star-gazing.
MR. SMITH: …but?
Thirteen gulps ever more sheepishly.
THIRTEEN: It’s just… well, everything was fine. He loved the telescope, said he was transfixed by the cosmos and started spending more and more of his time peering up through it, until… well, he started behaving strangely.
MR. SMITH: Okay…
THIRTEEN: I don’t know. He kept saying he was seeing some sort of Satellite that was getting closer every time he looked at it through his telescope. He called it the Black Knight Satellite. I didn’t think anything of it really, but he got weirder about it. Saying he was receiving strange phone calls, and strange men in black were showing up at his door asking him questions. And the… well… last I heard from him he left me a message claiming Aliens from another planet were coming to get him.
MR. SMITH: All from looking through a telescope?
KASSANDRAH: Happened in the Sims.
MR. SMITH: Excuse me?
KASSANDRAH: The Sims. Computer game. If your Sim spent too much time peering through a telescope aliens would come in their spaceship and abduct the Sim.
Blinking eyes met Kassandrah before she shrugged uncomfortably.
KASSANDRAH: That’s what I heard, at least.
MR. SMITH: Okay, so now you’re saying I’ve got a Chief Operating Officer who’s been abducted by Aliens while playing a computer game.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: That’s the theory, anyway.
A loud sigh over the speaker.
MR. SMITH: Look, I’m not playing games. I’ve invested quite heavily in this company, as have you three, and I hired T.S. to run this company, and so far he’s running it into the ground. I’ve made up my mind that there will be a shift of power taking place.
Thirteen and Francis Ford Cuppola’s ears perk up and eye one another down.
MR. SMITH: Yes, it’ll likely fall to one of you three.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: You mean me.
A glare shoots across the table at Francis from Thirteen.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: What? I’m the fittest person to lead here. I’ve got my Mogwai searching every nook and cranny of these headquarters for that Resilience Title Belt. What are you two doing?
MR. SMITH: Look, I have no time for—wait, your what?
THIRTEEN: Your what?
Francis looks incredulously around the table.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: What? Am I the ONLY ONE with a Mogwai Collection?
Silence as those seated at the table search him to see if he’s serious.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Well, when they find that belt you’re all going to be kicking yourselves you didn’t employ Mogwai like I did.
It gets weirder and weirder to know this man.
MR. SMITH: Right. The oddity of that statement aside, I’ve decided we’re going to determine who will be the Chief Operating Officer of this company via the only suitable way I can think of given the nature of this company.
KASSANDRAH: A wrestling match.
MR. SMITH: Very good. You’d think you were psychic. A wrestling match. A ladder match, to be exact. Whoever wins takes control of this company away from T.S.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Ahem, Mr. Smith? What happens if, as a for instance, one of us has never actually wrestled in our life?
Thirteen smirks at Francis, giving him a haughty flex of her bicep to illustrate her constant toning and insistence on remaining in fighting shape.
MR. SMITH: None of you are going to be doing the fighting, Cuppola.
Thirteen’s confidence deflates as Francis puffs his chest out.
MR. SMITH: You’re going to choose representatives from the roster to fight for you. They’re the ones bringing in the tickets, not you three. We’ll make this as sporting as we possibly can. It’s up to you select the wrestler who’ll represent you.
Eyes divert around the table as Kassandrah, Thirteen and Francis eye one another as though at the start of a wicked footrace.
MR. SMITH: They can be from any division, and any skill level, all you have to do is choose wisely.
THIRTEEN: What about T.S.?
MR. SMITH: Do you see T.S. anywhere? As far as I’m concerned, the less he knows about this the better, understood?
Nods of agreement around the table.
MR. SMITH: Good. I await the selection of your representatives and then we can book the match. Until that time… Cuppola, happy hunting with your… Mogwai.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: You betcha, Chief!
He grins and winks at the speaker box before eyeing conspiratorially at the other two stakeholders.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: The AWE? Please, it’s a joke.
Francis listened as whoever he was speaking to made an observation.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: I don’t know, they lost the Resilience Belt which is probably just under a desk somewhere, and who can tell if they even have any of the other belts. Meanwhile they have me looking for them because they’re all incompetent and wouldn’t know their ass from their own head. I’m telling you, I’m the only one with any sense around here.
More listening as Francis’ conversation partner says something to make Francis chuckle softly.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: S.O.B.? Sure! Everybody in the AWE are little S.O.B.’s.
More listening and soft chuckling as Francis turns his chair around to return to the boardroom table only to be greeted by the wide-eyed expressions of shock of Thirteen, Kassandrah, Rodney P, the two French Mime Assassins and Francis’ personal syrup dealer, Mister Mississagi. Francis eyes them uncomfortably. The speaker at the head of the boardroom table housing the voice of Mr. Smith barks at him.
MR. SMITH: FRANCIS! Will you turn that damn phone off!
Francis blinks ignorantly before speaking into the cell phone receiver.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: I’ll call you back.
He ends the call and smiles apologetically.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Sorry. Didn’t hear you guys walk in.
THIRTEEN: We’ve been here the whole time, Francis.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: The whole time?
KASSANDRAH: Yeah, we were in the middle of the meeting and you just turned around and made that phone call.
Francis blinks again and looks to Rodney P for confirmation. He nods an embarrassed and silent acquiescence. Francis slips his phone into his pocket
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Sorry.
Rodney whispers apologetically to the rest of the room.
RODNEY P: He stopped taking his meds a few days ago, so...
MR. SMITH: Right, moving on.
Attention, thankfully for Francis, shifts back to the talking speaker.
MR. SMITH: I’m afraid my confidence in T.S. is dwindling by the day.
THIRTEEN: It’s only been two events.
MR. SMITH: Agreed, but that’s two events T.S. has inexplicably managed to be absent from rather than be here doing his job.
THIRTEEN: Well, truthfully, that’s kind of my fault, Mr. Smith.
MR. SMITH: Is it? He’s left an awful lot up to be decided till the last minute which ends up creating these incidents, like securing us broadcast rights with the Channel Ocho.
Francis Smiles Proudly.
MR. SMITH: Which is to, in no way, detract from the seemingly infinite supply of idiotic entertainment you and Mr. Cuppola provide, Thirteen. If it weren’t for the actual wrestlers who have signed for the AWE this company would already be sunk.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: I can’t argue you with you there, but—
MR. SMITH: Pipe down, Cuppola. Look here, our third shareholders meeting and once again Thomas Shane Elliot is nowhere to be found.
Thirteen sheepishly lifts a guilty hand to speak.
THIRTEEN: I’m afraid this one’s my fault as well, sir.
A round of sighs around the table as Thirteen looks nervously around at her peers before continuing.
THIRTEEN: I didn’t mean anything by it.
MR. SMITH: *Wearily* What did you do?
THIRTEEN: All I did was give him a telescope to give him something to occupy his downtime. He’s been so stressed out about this company and everything that’s gone wrong already I thought a little amateur astronomy might calm his nerves.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Nothing wrong with a little star-gazing.
MR. SMITH: …but?
Thirteen gulps ever more sheepishly.
THIRTEEN: It’s just… well, everything was fine. He loved the telescope, said he was transfixed by the cosmos and started spending more and more of his time peering up through it, until… well, he started behaving strangely.
MR. SMITH: Okay…
THIRTEEN: I don’t know. He kept saying he was seeing some sort of Satellite that was getting closer every time he looked at it through his telescope. He called it the Black Knight Satellite. I didn’t think anything of it really, but he got weirder about it. Saying he was receiving strange phone calls, and strange men in black were showing up at his door asking him questions. And the… well… last I heard from him he left me a message claiming Aliens from another planet were coming to get him.
MR. SMITH: All from looking through a telescope?
KASSANDRAH: Happened in the Sims.
MR. SMITH: Excuse me?
KASSANDRAH: The Sims. Computer game. If your Sim spent too much time peering through a telescope aliens would come in their spaceship and abduct the Sim.
Blinking eyes met Kassandrah before she shrugged uncomfortably.
KASSANDRAH: That’s what I heard, at least.
MR. SMITH: Okay, so now you’re saying I’ve got a Chief Operating Officer who’s been abducted by Aliens while playing a computer game.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: That’s the theory, anyway.
A loud sigh over the speaker.
MR. SMITH: Look, I’m not playing games. I’ve invested quite heavily in this company, as have you three, and I hired T.S. to run this company, and so far he’s running it into the ground. I’ve made up my mind that there will be a shift of power taking place.
Thirteen and Francis Ford Cuppola’s ears perk up and eye one another down.
MR. SMITH: Yes, it’ll likely fall to one of you three.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: You mean me.
A glare shoots across the table at Francis from Thirteen.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: What? I’m the fittest person to lead here. I’ve got my Mogwai searching every nook and cranny of these headquarters for that Resilience Title Belt. What are you two doing?
MR. SMITH: Look, I have no time for—wait, your what?
THIRTEEN: Your what?
Francis looks incredulously around the table.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: What? Am I the ONLY ONE with a Mogwai Collection?
Silence as those seated at the table search him to see if he’s serious.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Well, when they find that belt you’re all going to be kicking yourselves you didn’t employ Mogwai like I did.
It gets weirder and weirder to know this man.
MR. SMITH: Right. The oddity of that statement aside, I’ve decided we’re going to determine who will be the Chief Operating Officer of this company via the only suitable way I can think of given the nature of this company.
KASSANDRAH: A wrestling match.
MR. SMITH: Very good. You’d think you were psychic. A wrestling match. A ladder match, to be exact. Whoever wins takes control of this company away from T.S.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Ahem, Mr. Smith? What happens if, as a for instance, one of us has never actually wrestled in our life?
Thirteen smirks at Francis, giving him a haughty flex of her bicep to illustrate her constant toning and insistence on remaining in fighting shape.
MR. SMITH: None of you are going to be doing the fighting, Cuppola.
Thirteen’s confidence deflates as Francis puffs his chest out.
MR. SMITH: You’re going to choose representatives from the roster to fight for you. They’re the ones bringing in the tickets, not you three. We’ll make this as sporting as we possibly can. It’s up to you select the wrestler who’ll represent you.
Eyes divert around the table as Kassandrah, Thirteen and Francis eye one another as though at the start of a wicked footrace.
MR. SMITH: They can be from any division, and any skill level, all you have to do is choose wisely.
THIRTEEN: What about T.S.?
MR. SMITH: Do you see T.S. anywhere? As far as I’m concerned, the less he knows about this the better, understood?
Nods of agreement around the table.
MR. SMITH: Good. I await the selection of your representatives and then we can book the match. Until that time… Cuppola, happy hunting with your… Mogwai.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: You betcha, Chief!
He grins and winks at the speaker box before eyeing conspiratorially at the other two stakeholders.
"At Last" by Etta James is swinging in the AWE Studio where Nate Hollis stands talking to a cardboard cutout of Michael Jordan with the Hal 9000 red eye glowing in the head.
NATE HOLLIS: You feel me, '9000? I love Etta. Ain't no one better.
HAL 9000: I don't disagree with you, Nathan.
Nate spies the camera and brightens as "At Last" dims in volume.
NATE HOLLIS: HEEEEEEY, Welcome back AWEphiles to Sunday Night Massacre! I, of course, am your boy "The Godfather of Gab" Nate Hollis here to guide you through another wild night of twists and turns and exciting non-stop Wrestling action courtesy of the Alpha Wrestling Empire. With me is my man Michael Jordan 9000.
HAL 9000: My name is Hal, Nathan.
NATE HOLLIS: I know, I know, I'm just playing with ya, '9000.
Computerized laughter from Hal.
NATE HOLLIS: Welcome everyone to Massacre number 3. A night of a few new beginnings for some and a transitionary period for others and the end for some others. But never fear, AWE Fans, the end is just another beginning.
HAL 9000: The Alpha Cup starts tonight.
NATE HOLLIS: That's right! The Alpha Cup round 1 begins to night, and let me tell you it is an explosive beginning, and an explosive ending we've got in store. We've got the likes of Zack Fantana and Amis Shelton going toe to toe!
HAL 9000: And recent arrivals like Erron and Tiara Wilder facing off against early bird signings like Caroline O'Hara Burchill and Benny Stevens.
NATE HOLLIS: That's right! All that and more plus some debuts of new and familiar faces all bound to BLOW THE ROOF off the First Arena in Elmira, New York. But that's not all, '9000. Tell 'em. Let 'em down gently.
HAL 9000: There's also the second round of the Paramount Division Championship Tournament to be settled this evening, Nathan.
NATE HOLLIS: Awwww yea, ‘9000. Ain’t that the truth. We got my man, “Take the Day” himself Dom DiBona squaring off against everyone’s favorite “Country Fine” competitor James Radford! And then, in a billed battle of the villains, you’re going to watch the mysterious newcomer, Stoker, take on the Archetype himself, Cyrus Riddle! That’s all coming up, but first we have 1st round Alpha Cup Action to start off with when the AWE bigwigs booked Mr. Moustache Mountain himself Benjamin Haskell versus recently signed promising new talent “Bang Bang” Bindy Trent! Let’s see how it went down!
NATE HOLLIS: You feel me, '9000? I love Etta. Ain't no one better.
HAL 9000: I don't disagree with you, Nathan.
Nate spies the camera and brightens as "At Last" dims in volume.
NATE HOLLIS: HEEEEEEY, Welcome back AWEphiles to Sunday Night Massacre! I, of course, am your boy "The Godfather of Gab" Nate Hollis here to guide you through another wild night of twists and turns and exciting non-stop Wrestling action courtesy of the Alpha Wrestling Empire. With me is my man Michael Jordan 9000.
HAL 9000: My name is Hal, Nathan.
NATE HOLLIS: I know, I know, I'm just playing with ya, '9000.
Computerized laughter from Hal.
NATE HOLLIS: Welcome everyone to Massacre number 3. A night of a few new beginnings for some and a transitionary period for others and the end for some others. But never fear, AWE Fans, the end is just another beginning.
HAL 9000: The Alpha Cup starts tonight.
NATE HOLLIS: That's right! The Alpha Cup round 1 begins to night, and let me tell you it is an explosive beginning, and an explosive ending we've got in store. We've got the likes of Zack Fantana and Amis Shelton going toe to toe!
HAL 9000: And recent arrivals like Erron and Tiara Wilder facing off against early bird signings like Caroline O'Hara Burchill and Benny Stevens.
NATE HOLLIS: That's right! All that and more plus some debuts of new and familiar faces all bound to BLOW THE ROOF off the First Arena in Elmira, New York. But that's not all, '9000. Tell 'em. Let 'em down gently.
HAL 9000: There's also the second round of the Paramount Division Championship Tournament to be settled this evening, Nathan.
NATE HOLLIS: Awwww yea, ‘9000. Ain’t that the truth. We got my man, “Take the Day” himself Dom DiBona squaring off against everyone’s favorite “Country Fine” competitor James Radford! And then, in a billed battle of the villains, you’re going to watch the mysterious newcomer, Stoker, take on the Archetype himself, Cyrus Riddle! That’s all coming up, but first we have 1st round Alpha Cup Action to start off with when the AWE bigwigs booked Mr. Moustache Mountain himself Benjamin Haskell versus recently signed promising new talent “Bang Bang” Bindy Trent! Let’s see how it went down!
1st Round Alpha Cup Tournament
Benjamin Haskell VS. Bindy Trent
After a tie-up Ben Haskell comes out the better by whipping Bindy Trent into the ropes, on the rebound Bindy narrowly ducks under a Ben Haskell big boot and pounds the ring boards into the ropes and returns for Haskell only to be met with a stiff shoulder that stops Bindy in her tracks!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Stiff shoulder block by Ben Haskell!
BRAD STOKES: That’ll wake you up!
Ben turns into her, wraps his arms around her and SLAMS Bindy across the canvas with a belly-to-belly suplex! Ben rolls to his feet and finds Bindy where she rests and promptly sets to work on a single leg boston crab that torques Bindy’s back!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Bad news there as Bindy scrambles for the ropes! Folks, thank you for joining us for our first match of the evening. A first round match to kick off the AWE’s first ever Alpha Cup tournament!
BRAD STOKES: And she breaks the hold! Good work there.
Bindy clutches the ropes and Haskell lets go and suavely steps away with his arms innocently outstretched presenting himself for the crowd.
BRAD STOKES: That Ben Haskell is a sexy man, Nina. Everyone says so.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Well, I’m not sure who ‘everyone’ is, but he’s definitely made a daring statement enlisting in this Alpha Cup tournament after a lengthy hiatus.
Ben Haskell whips around just as Bindy Trent is crawling up to her feet, he grips her hair and forces her head under his arm and readies a suplex… then WHAM! A wicked snap suplex before Haskell hooks Bindy’s leg and goes for the cover!
1…
NINA APPLEBAUM: Kickout!
Benji taps the mat with his hands and slides back up to a stand as Bindy is, once again, angling to raise to her feet from all fours but Haskell stomps down hard onto her back and flattens her to the canvas. Then another rugged stomp, then another to keep Bindy down before Ben Haskell once more goes down for a single-leg Boston Crab!
BRAD STOKES: Back to working that spine! This is exactly why the AWE is improving, Nina. Signing people like Ben Haskell. Ring pros, and sexy beasts. This is why the First Arena is sold out tonight, to see professionals like Ben here perform, am I right?!
The crowd around the announce table cheers as Brad gets them fired up. In the ring, Bindy is once more gripping the ropes forcing Haskell to let go in mild frustration.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Ben Haskell administering some instruction to Theo Refano.
BRAD STOKES: Good, the kid needs it. That ref’s an idiot.
Ben Haskell turns in time to see Bindy suddenly hurtle him to the canvas with a headscissor takedown then take the second to wince in pain before climbing up to her feet and promptly dropping an elbow for Benji’s spine but he quickly rolls out of the way and quickly under the ropes to the outside!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Nice follow-up attempt by Bindy Trent!
BRAD STOKES: But there was no one home there!
Ben Haskell rolls his neck on the outside as Bindy climbs to her feet and spots Benji on the outside. As Ben Haskell recovers, Bindy takes a step back and charges for him right through the ropes and hits a suicide dive to the outside that knocks Benji back up the ramp and Bindy spills onto the concrete!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Crazy risk there paid off!
BRAD STOKES: Yeah, but let’s see her do that in rewind, huh?
Bindy has the crowd on their feet as she rises and snaps several winning high fives before she finds the downed Ben Haskell as the Ref starts in the count.
1!
Bindy goes to lift Ben Haskell to his feet only to find Ben suddenly gouging at her eyes and backs her up towards the ring!
2!
BRAD STOKES: NICE!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Maybe for Ben Haskell! That looked painful!
3!
With Bindy tending to her eyes, Benji gets a second wind after Bindy’s successful suicide dive and bull rushes her, slamming his shoulder into Bindy’s mid-section and drives her all the way back into the ring post!
4!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Even more painful there as Ben Haskell just rammed Bindy Trent’s spine right into that ring post!
5!
But Bindy doesn’t stand there like a lame duck, the second Haskell straightens up to continue his onslaught, Bindy slams a fist into Ben, stunning him backwards!
6!
Bindy follows up with a hard kick into his kidney that staggers Ben who turns around ready to defend against another attack!
7!
And then Bindy charges and slams a hard discus elbow that flattens Ben!!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Nice string of attacks by Bindy Trent!
BRAD STOKES: She’s gonna miss the count!
With Ben down, Bindy climbs quickly onto the ring apron and steps a foot inside the ring, eyeing with a smile Theo Refano, and that breaks up the count! With a wave to the crowd and a few blown kisses for good energy, Bindy steps back through the ropes onto the ring apron and angles an Arabian Press for a downed Ben Haskell only to find Benji has rolled out of the way!!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Nasty spill there!!
BRAD STOKES: Experience always beats out… whatever the hell Becky’s got.
Ben Haskell climbs to one knee and catches his breath.
1!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Becky?
2!
Ben slowly climbs to his feet and lays a swift kick into Bindy Trent’s side that flips her over onto her back!
BRAD STOKES: Excuse me?
3!
NINA APPLEBAUM: You called her Becky.
BRAD STOKES: So?
NINA APPLEBAUM: Her name’s Bindy.
BRAD STOKES: Bindy? What the hell kind of name is Bindy?
NINA APPLEBAUM: Uhh--
BRAD STOKES: That's the kind of name a Phish roadie and a community college professor would come up with.
NINA APPLEBAUM: uh... I think those actually WERE the occupations of her parents, according to her bio.
BRAD STOKES: You've got to be shitting me. I should work for Match.com.
Ben grabs Bindy by the hair and rolls her to her feet to keep her off balance before sending her back inside the ring. Ben rolls his neck and catches his breath before he hops onto the ring apron as Bindy tries to get her footing inside the ring!
BRAD STOKES: Do you really think it matters what her name is when a sexual tyrannosaurus like Ben Haskell is in the ring, Nina?
With Bindy gathering her feet beneath her with a bit of a stagger, Ben quickly uses the ropes as a slingshot and sunset flips Bindy into a pin!
1….
TW--
NINA APPLEBAUM: Kickout right at two!
Benji is a little frustrated as Bindy crawls to her feet and Ben Haskell tracks with her before gripping for her hair only to be surprised with a sudden judo throw that sends Ben skidding!
BRAD STOKES: Becky Trent now, back on her feet and mounting some offense!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Again, you’re calling her Becky.
BRAD STOKES: Look, you have your quirks, I have mine, Becky has hers, and Ben Haskell is a sexy beast, that’s all I’m saying, Nina.
As Benji climbs to his feet he’s met with a sudden standing drop kick from Bindy Trent that knocks him back down as the crowd starts to roar!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Ben Haskell is not staying down!
Unperturbed, Benji is back up to his feet this time met with a HARD windup punch from Bindy that tables Ben’s offense!
BRAD STOKES: That Becky’s got some stroke to her swing there.
NINA APPLEBAUM: That you’re misnaming her on purpose is annoying, Bradley.
BRAD STOKES: You call me Bradley. I call her Becky. Fair is fair.
Bindy stumbles a moment as the crowd gets behind her and she’s back to all smiles, giving a wave out to the crowd then she climbs up the turnbuckle.
NINA APPLEBAUM: She’s going up top!
BRAD STOKES: Becky Trent, you go girl!
Bindy is up top and waving to the fans, giving a peace sign as Ben lays prone on the canvas. And as the Crowd is fired up, Bindy takes a stand on the top rope and launches into a shooting star flip and comes down for a leg drop!!!
BRAD STOKES: FLAWLESS! She hit that one that time!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Right when it counts!
Bindy herself bounces up and quickly makes the cover!
1...
2...
3!!
"Award Show Taylor Swift" by Bowling for Soup hits as Bindy staggers to her feet victoriously.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Surprise finish there for Bindy Trent!
BRAD STOKES: I swear her name's Becky, Nina. Read the bio again.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Well, it isn't.
In the ring Theo Refano lifts Bindy's arm as the ever-colourful Marshall Douglas takes center ring.
MARSHAL DOUGLAS: Here is your winner, advancing to the second round of the Alpha Cup Tournament... "Bang, Bang" BINDYYYYYYYY TRENT!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Wonderful debut tonight for Bindy Trent.
BRAD STOKES: Indeed. Listen, I don't care what your name is, if you can open up an event like that and pull out a win, you're all right in my books!
NINA APPLEBAUM: We'll see what becomes of Bindy as she progresses through the Alpha Cup tournament!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Stiff shoulder block by Ben Haskell!
BRAD STOKES: That’ll wake you up!
Ben turns into her, wraps his arms around her and SLAMS Bindy across the canvas with a belly-to-belly suplex! Ben rolls to his feet and finds Bindy where she rests and promptly sets to work on a single leg boston crab that torques Bindy’s back!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Bad news there as Bindy scrambles for the ropes! Folks, thank you for joining us for our first match of the evening. A first round match to kick off the AWE’s first ever Alpha Cup tournament!
BRAD STOKES: And she breaks the hold! Good work there.
Bindy clutches the ropes and Haskell lets go and suavely steps away with his arms innocently outstretched presenting himself for the crowd.
BRAD STOKES: That Ben Haskell is a sexy man, Nina. Everyone says so.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Well, I’m not sure who ‘everyone’ is, but he’s definitely made a daring statement enlisting in this Alpha Cup tournament after a lengthy hiatus.
Ben Haskell whips around just as Bindy Trent is crawling up to her feet, he grips her hair and forces her head under his arm and readies a suplex… then WHAM! A wicked snap suplex before Haskell hooks Bindy’s leg and goes for the cover!
1…
NINA APPLEBAUM: Kickout!
Benji taps the mat with his hands and slides back up to a stand as Bindy is, once again, angling to raise to her feet from all fours but Haskell stomps down hard onto her back and flattens her to the canvas. Then another rugged stomp, then another to keep Bindy down before Ben Haskell once more goes down for a single-leg Boston Crab!
BRAD STOKES: Back to working that spine! This is exactly why the AWE is improving, Nina. Signing people like Ben Haskell. Ring pros, and sexy beasts. This is why the First Arena is sold out tonight, to see professionals like Ben here perform, am I right?!
The crowd around the announce table cheers as Brad gets them fired up. In the ring, Bindy is once more gripping the ropes forcing Haskell to let go in mild frustration.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Ben Haskell administering some instruction to Theo Refano.
BRAD STOKES: Good, the kid needs it. That ref’s an idiot.
Ben Haskell turns in time to see Bindy suddenly hurtle him to the canvas with a headscissor takedown then take the second to wince in pain before climbing up to her feet and promptly dropping an elbow for Benji’s spine but he quickly rolls out of the way and quickly under the ropes to the outside!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Nice follow-up attempt by Bindy Trent!
BRAD STOKES: But there was no one home there!
Ben Haskell rolls his neck on the outside as Bindy climbs to her feet and spots Benji on the outside. As Ben Haskell recovers, Bindy takes a step back and charges for him right through the ropes and hits a suicide dive to the outside that knocks Benji back up the ramp and Bindy spills onto the concrete!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Crazy risk there paid off!
BRAD STOKES: Yeah, but let’s see her do that in rewind, huh?
Bindy has the crowd on their feet as she rises and snaps several winning high fives before she finds the downed Ben Haskell as the Ref starts in the count.
1!
Bindy goes to lift Ben Haskell to his feet only to find Ben suddenly gouging at her eyes and backs her up towards the ring!
2!
BRAD STOKES: NICE!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Maybe for Ben Haskell! That looked painful!
3!
With Bindy tending to her eyes, Benji gets a second wind after Bindy’s successful suicide dive and bull rushes her, slamming his shoulder into Bindy’s mid-section and drives her all the way back into the ring post!
4!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Even more painful there as Ben Haskell just rammed Bindy Trent’s spine right into that ring post!
5!
But Bindy doesn’t stand there like a lame duck, the second Haskell straightens up to continue his onslaught, Bindy slams a fist into Ben, stunning him backwards!
6!
Bindy follows up with a hard kick into his kidney that staggers Ben who turns around ready to defend against another attack!
7!
And then Bindy charges and slams a hard discus elbow that flattens Ben!!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Nice string of attacks by Bindy Trent!
BRAD STOKES: She’s gonna miss the count!
With Ben down, Bindy climbs quickly onto the ring apron and steps a foot inside the ring, eyeing with a smile Theo Refano, and that breaks up the count! With a wave to the crowd and a few blown kisses for good energy, Bindy steps back through the ropes onto the ring apron and angles an Arabian Press for a downed Ben Haskell only to find Benji has rolled out of the way!!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Nasty spill there!!
BRAD STOKES: Experience always beats out… whatever the hell Becky’s got.
Ben Haskell climbs to one knee and catches his breath.
1!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Becky?
2!
Ben slowly climbs to his feet and lays a swift kick into Bindy Trent’s side that flips her over onto her back!
BRAD STOKES: Excuse me?
3!
NINA APPLEBAUM: You called her Becky.
BRAD STOKES: So?
NINA APPLEBAUM: Her name’s Bindy.
BRAD STOKES: Bindy? What the hell kind of name is Bindy?
NINA APPLEBAUM: Uhh--
BRAD STOKES: That's the kind of name a Phish roadie and a community college professor would come up with.
NINA APPLEBAUM: uh... I think those actually WERE the occupations of her parents, according to her bio.
BRAD STOKES: You've got to be shitting me. I should work for Match.com.
Ben grabs Bindy by the hair and rolls her to her feet to keep her off balance before sending her back inside the ring. Ben rolls his neck and catches his breath before he hops onto the ring apron as Bindy tries to get her footing inside the ring!
BRAD STOKES: Do you really think it matters what her name is when a sexual tyrannosaurus like Ben Haskell is in the ring, Nina?
With Bindy gathering her feet beneath her with a bit of a stagger, Ben quickly uses the ropes as a slingshot and sunset flips Bindy into a pin!
1….
TW--
NINA APPLEBAUM: Kickout right at two!
Benji is a little frustrated as Bindy crawls to her feet and Ben Haskell tracks with her before gripping for her hair only to be surprised with a sudden judo throw that sends Ben skidding!
BRAD STOKES: Becky Trent now, back on her feet and mounting some offense!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Again, you’re calling her Becky.
BRAD STOKES: Look, you have your quirks, I have mine, Becky has hers, and Ben Haskell is a sexy beast, that’s all I’m saying, Nina.
As Benji climbs to his feet he’s met with a sudden standing drop kick from Bindy Trent that knocks him back down as the crowd starts to roar!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Ben Haskell is not staying down!
Unperturbed, Benji is back up to his feet this time met with a HARD windup punch from Bindy that tables Ben’s offense!
BRAD STOKES: That Becky’s got some stroke to her swing there.
NINA APPLEBAUM: That you’re misnaming her on purpose is annoying, Bradley.
BRAD STOKES: You call me Bradley. I call her Becky. Fair is fair.
Bindy stumbles a moment as the crowd gets behind her and she’s back to all smiles, giving a wave out to the crowd then she climbs up the turnbuckle.
NINA APPLEBAUM: She’s going up top!
BRAD STOKES: Becky Trent, you go girl!
Bindy is up top and waving to the fans, giving a peace sign as Ben lays prone on the canvas. And as the Crowd is fired up, Bindy takes a stand on the top rope and launches into a shooting star flip and comes down for a leg drop!!!
BRAD STOKES: FLAWLESS! She hit that one that time!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Right when it counts!
Bindy herself bounces up and quickly makes the cover!
1...
2...
3!!
DING! DING! DING!
"Award Show Taylor Swift" by Bowling for Soup hits as Bindy staggers to her feet victoriously.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Surprise finish there for Bindy Trent!
BRAD STOKES: I swear her name's Becky, Nina. Read the bio again.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Well, it isn't.
In the ring Theo Refano lifts Bindy's arm as the ever-colourful Marshall Douglas takes center ring.
MARSHAL DOUGLAS: Here is your winner, advancing to the second round of the Alpha Cup Tournament... "Bang, Bang" BINDYYYYYYYY TRENT!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Wonderful debut tonight for Bindy Trent.
BRAD STOKES: Indeed. Listen, I don't care what your name is, if you can open up an event like that and pull out a win, you're all right in my books!
NINA APPLEBAUM: We'll see what becomes of Bindy as she progresses through the Alpha Cup tournament!
In the backstage area, stooping towards the floor and spying with narrowed eyes, creeps Francis Ford Cuppola sliding his fingers together and making clicking noises with his tongue as though trying to summon a cat.
DREW STEVENSON: What in the hell are you doing? You do realize that I'm not a cat, right?
Francis straightened up from inspecting the floor to eye Drew with confusion. Looking completely dumbfounded, Drew shakes his head not understanding the thought process of Francis but then again, does anyone really understand him?
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Ah, there you are, Drake. Was just looking for you.
Francis smiled a winning smile without a hint of self-effacement.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: What, to the untrained eye, must've looked like an old man looking for his missing Mogwai was instead an elder wise man finding time to focus on a new venture I see on the horizon I think you may be perfect for. Let me ask you, Drake, what do you know about… “Ladder” “Matches”?
Shaking his head, he can't believe that Francis got his name wrong but instead of correcting him, he just responds instead.
DREW STEVENSON: I guess that really depends. What are you wanting to know about them?
Francis looked around as though he didn’t wish for any passersby to overhear what he had to say next, then leaned in to speak in hushed tones to Drew.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: There’s a thing coming down the pike. Could be big. Involves ladders. Ladders in a match. You won a ladder match once didn’t you, Drake?
Francis raised a confident eyebrow at Drew for effect.
DREW STEVENSON: Yes, I have won several ladder matches throughout my career. You mentioned something big coming down the pike…
Looking around to make sure that no one is around, then leans in closer so that he can whisper to Francis.
DREW STEVENSON: … Is this like going down a tunnel Mario big or something else completely different?
Arching his brow, he knows that he needs to question things or Francis will have him doing God knows what. Francis stares at him with a blank expression momentarily like he’s spoken in some other language and Francis is trying to sort it out before,
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: ...Right, so if you’re through joking around this is serious business. I could be running this company if I play my cards right, do you understand me? Now, look, they got something cooking whereby all the shareholders choose a champion, someone to fight for them in a ladder match. Now you’re the one I’m picking. How would you, Drake Stephanopoulous, like to be my champion?
Taking a moment to think about that, it was a really easy question to answer. Nodding his head even though Francis continues to call him by the wrong name, Stevenson shrugs it off and responds.
DREW STEVENSON: You know what Mr. Cop-A-Feel-olo, definitely count me in for this match. I mean, hell, obviously you are the smartest if you decided to choose me to represent you so yeah, let's get you ownership of this company.
Francis grins widely at him as though his answer was assured and expertly gives Drew the old fist bump. With a smile on his face, Drew looks around and then leans in to speak to Francis again.
DREW STEVENSON: By the way, can you get me a nudie of Thirteen?
Francis’ smile drops a little as he frowns.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Who? Look, you forget about your number nudes and win me this match, okay?
With a renewed sense of optimism, Francis turns away from Drew, stoops, and returns to the clicking noises with his tongue and searching for his mogwai before coming across a refreshment table full of cupcakes with a special letter B on them, (meant to satisfy the special request of Bindy Trent).
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Ooooooooo! B-cakes. Those are the best kind.
Francis winks to the camera and rubs his hand greedily together as he hovers ever closer to the cupcakes, forgetting about his previous mission.
NINA APPLEBAUM: I’m sure it’ll win you plenty of fans in the locker room.
BRAD STOKES: They can suck my left one—OHHH Hard elbow from Trindiana Jones right to the masked face of Hanzo Tandoori!
With Hanzo sufficiently stunned, Trinity snap suplexes him onto the canvas and goes for the cover!
1…
NINA APPLEBAUM: Quick kickout by Hanzo there!
BRAD STOKES: Trini isn’t going to score any quick and painless victories against The Dragonzola. Gonna have to work for it!
Hanzo rolls to his feet as Trinity is up and SLAMS him suddenly with a dropkick that staggers Hanzo back into the corner! Trinity is on her feet swiftly and charging Hanzo aiming for a corner splash but Hanzo is out of there in a heartbeat watching Trinity SMASH into the corner chest first and right into HAnzo who smashes her down with a neckbreaker and goes for a cover of his own!
1…
2…
BRAD STOKES: Kickout!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Hanzo manages to improve his ring game by leaps and bounds on every outing we see him.
BRAD STOKES: And so does Trinity Jones, Nina. Neither of these two have had the greatest of starts, but its definitely not from a lack of trying.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Nice to see you dropped the quirky name-calling, Bradley.
BRAD STOKES: I’m sure I’ll drift back to it when I get bored.
Hanzo grips Trinity by the hair and forcefully tugs her to her feet and whips her for the ropes. Hanzo readies for her return with a stiff clothesline but Trinity surprises him with a float-over DDT that wows the crowd!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Nicely done there by Trinity Jones!
BRAD STOKES: What’s the deal with Trinity’s manager, there?
NINA APPLEBAUM: Who, Felicity Oswald?
BRAD STOKES: Yeah. The Blonde. Nice rack. Think she’d dig me?
NINA APPLEBAUM: I supremely doubt that, Bradley.
BRAD STOKES: I like your cock-blocking style, Nina. Very passive-aggressive.
Trinity isn’t done, quickly gripping Hanzo and tugging him up to his feet and laying into his midsection with a series of stiff kicks before SLAMMING Hanzo back down with a fisherman suplex into a pin!
1…
2…
NINA APPLEBAUM: KICKOUT by Hanzo!
BRAD STOKES: Trinity is one of those wrestlers that’s going to make you think and devise your way through every step of the match otherwise she’s going to capitalize.
Trinity rolls Hanzo forcefully onto his stomach and sends a sharp kick into his side before hooking his ankles, gritting her teeth and wrenching his legs back into a sharpshooter!!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Right in the center of the ring with no where to go!
Hanzo utilizes leverage to power his way up onto his hands and angrily flip Trinity forward out of the sharpshooter before she can manage to lock it on! Hanzo climbs to his feet but Trinity recovers and rams a knee into Hanzo’s spine to keep him down to the canvas and hurriedly locks on a dragon sleeper!
BRAD STOKES: Hatzo’s in trouble!
NINA APPLEBAUM: You know their names, you’ve used them before. Why do you insist on—
BRAD STOKES: I get paid to add idiotic statements, Nina. That’s what I do. Don’t try to change me.
IN the ring Hanzo is surprising Trinity as he digs down deep and manages to stand up with Trinity still trying to apply the Dragon Sleeper before Hanzo drops backwards with all his weight to crush Trinity!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Nice attempt by Trinity, but Hanzo’s size and weight advantage is going to make the submission game very difficult.
Hanzo climbs to his feet in time to have Trinity send a hard kick to the back of his knees and The Dragon staggers forward. Trinity kips up to her feet and angrily unleashes an onslaught of kicks that keeps Hanzo staggering before she BULLDOGS Hanzo down hard into the canvas.
BRAD STOKES: She’s not done there!
Trinity rises back to her feet and unleashes a series of soccer kicks into Hanzo’s side that sends Hanzo sprawling onto his back. Trinity quickly turns and aims a standing moonsault for Hanzo only to find no one home!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Hanzo rolled out of the way!
Trinity is in pain on her stomach with Felicity on the outside smacking her palms onto the apron encouraging Trinity as Hanzo climbs to his feet, recovers his breath and drops a jumping knee hard into Trinity’s spine!
BRAD STOKES: That’ll hurt more than most if you line it up properly like The Dragon did right there.
Hanzo rises back to his feet looking a mite winded as he drags Trinity to her feet and WHIPS her for the corner! He follows her in and SPLASHES Trinity hard and follows it up with a bulldog!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Hanzo with the cover!
1…
2..
THR—
NINA APPLEBAUM: Kickout by Trinity Jones!
Hanzo smacks the canvas to encourage himself as he stands and grips Trinity who surprises him with a takedown into an arm bar!!!
BRAD STOKES: Nice takedown by Trinity Jones!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Hanzo’s got the rope break though!
Hanzo manages a leg on the ropes to break the submission. Theo Refano urges Trinity to let go, which she does, and staggers to a knee as Hanzo does as well.
NINA APPLEBAUM: I don’t think Hanzo was expecting Trinity to put up the fight she has here!
Hanzo is the first to rise to his feet and watches Trinity charge him with force only to SLAM her right back down with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker! Hanzo is fired up enough to rise to his feet and SLAM down onto Trinity with a shooting star press from a standing position right into a pin attempt!
1..
2..
THR—KICKOUT!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Impressive maneuver by Hanzo Kirigaya there! What’s it going to take to keep Trinity down for the three count, Bradley?
BRAD STOKES: Sledgehammer? I don’t know. She’s not staying down, so then Hanzo’s gotta do more damage. Easy as that. Do I have to wrestle the match for these two as well?
NINA APPLEBAUM: Well, no, I was just—
BRAD STOKES: I know what you were just, Nina. I think that stupid Hanzo mask would look better on me anyway!
Hanzo lays a series of stomps down into Trinity before dragging her to her feet. Trinity somehow wills up the strength to bulrush Hanzo back into the corner and lay a series of shoulder thrusts into Hanzo before furiously stepping back and laying a STIFF Sidekick that stuns Hanzo where he stands before she WHIPS Hanzo into the opposite corner even harder than before!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Bad sign for Hanzo as Trinity starts to mount some definitive offense here!
Hanzo hits hard and Trinity follows him in with a HARD splash then follows it up with stiff stomps that rock Hanzo in the corner as the crowd counts along!
1!
2!
3!
4!
5!
And with a burst of adrenaline Trinity whips Hanzo BACK into the opposite corner where he hits with the force of a freight train! Trinity charges again!
BRAD STOKES: This could be the—
Hanzo shifts out of the way and Trinity collides hard with the turnbuckle and staggers out and a pained and a stunned Hanzo elbows Trinity hard! Then another and another before Hanzo locks Trinity into a cradle clutch.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Hanzo’s reversed this match in a hurry!!!!
It takes all his strength to heave Trinity up into a vertical position!
BRAD STOKES: He’s got her up!!!
Hanzo steadies himself and then WHAM! Slams Trinity down to a roaring pop from the crowd! Hanzo goes for the cover in obvious pain!
1…
2…
3!!!
NINA APPLEBAUM: HE DID IT! Hanzo did it!
"Jibun Rock" by ONE OK ROCK hits on the speakers as Hanzo holds his neck in pain and climbs to his feet to get his arm raised!
BRAD STOKES: And look how happy he is!
NINA APPLEBAUM: He should be! That’s his first victory here in the AWE!!
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: And your winner… Advancing to the second round of the Alpha Cup tournament… he is “THE DRAGON”… HANZO… KIRIGAYAAAAAAAAA!
NINA APPLEBAUM: That capacity crowd couldn’t be more impressed with Hanzo right now. He took a beating, but managed to remain focused on his game plan.
BRAD STOKES: That’s exactly what he needs to keep doing in this tournament and beyond if Hanzo wishes to keep having his arm raised!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Who cares about next time right now, Bradley? Hanzo won, and he’s moving on, while Trinity goes back to the drawing board to see what went wrong there.
DREW STEVENSON: What in the hell are you doing? You do realize that I'm not a cat, right?
Francis straightened up from inspecting the floor to eye Drew with confusion. Looking completely dumbfounded, Drew shakes his head not understanding the thought process of Francis but then again, does anyone really understand him?
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Ah, there you are, Drake. Was just looking for you.
Francis smiled a winning smile without a hint of self-effacement.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: What, to the untrained eye, must've looked like an old man looking for his missing Mogwai was instead an elder wise man finding time to focus on a new venture I see on the horizon I think you may be perfect for. Let me ask you, Drake, what do you know about… “Ladder” “Matches”?
Shaking his head, he can't believe that Francis got his name wrong but instead of correcting him, he just responds instead.
DREW STEVENSON: I guess that really depends. What are you wanting to know about them?
Francis looked around as though he didn’t wish for any passersby to overhear what he had to say next, then leaned in to speak in hushed tones to Drew.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: There’s a thing coming down the pike. Could be big. Involves ladders. Ladders in a match. You won a ladder match once didn’t you, Drake?
Francis raised a confident eyebrow at Drew for effect.
DREW STEVENSON: Yes, I have won several ladder matches throughout my career. You mentioned something big coming down the pike…
Looking around to make sure that no one is around, then leans in closer so that he can whisper to Francis.
DREW STEVENSON: … Is this like going down a tunnel Mario big or something else completely different?
Arching his brow, he knows that he needs to question things or Francis will have him doing God knows what. Francis stares at him with a blank expression momentarily like he’s spoken in some other language and Francis is trying to sort it out before,
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: ...Right, so if you’re through joking around this is serious business. I could be running this company if I play my cards right, do you understand me? Now, look, they got something cooking whereby all the shareholders choose a champion, someone to fight for them in a ladder match. Now you’re the one I’m picking. How would you, Drake Stephanopoulous, like to be my champion?
Taking a moment to think about that, it was a really easy question to answer. Nodding his head even though Francis continues to call him by the wrong name, Stevenson shrugs it off and responds.
DREW STEVENSON: You know what Mr. Cop-A-Feel-olo, definitely count me in for this match. I mean, hell, obviously you are the smartest if you decided to choose me to represent you so yeah, let's get you ownership of this company.
Francis grins widely at him as though his answer was assured and expertly gives Drew the old fist bump. With a smile on his face, Drew looks around and then leans in to speak to Francis again.
DREW STEVENSON: By the way, can you get me a nudie of Thirteen?
Francis’ smile drops a little as he frowns.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Who? Look, you forget about your number nudes and win me this match, okay?
With a renewed sense of optimism, Francis turns away from Drew, stoops, and returns to the clicking noises with his tongue and searching for his mogwai before coming across a refreshment table full of cupcakes with a special letter B on them, (meant to satisfy the special request of Bindy Trent).
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Ooooooooo! B-cakes. Those are the best kind.
Francis winks to the camera and rubs his hand greedily together as he hovers ever closer to the cupcakes, forgetting about his previous mission.
Back in the AWE studio, Nat King Cole’s “Unforgettable” is swaying as Nate Hollis and Hal 9000 converse.
HAL 9000: Rhythm and blues, Nathan.
NATE HOLLIS: Oh, for sure, R & B, Hal. But you gotta run all the bases before you choose which ones you wanna stay at, know what I’m saying?
Nate focuses on the camera.
NATE HOLLIS: Welcome back everybody, me and Hal 9000 here to help you understand the machinations of Francis Ford Cuppola.
HAL 9000: It appears Mr. Cuppola has selected the man he wishes to represent him in the match to decide the new ownership of the company.
NATE HOLLIS: Indeed, indeed, indeed he has, ‘9000. And it’s none other than Drew “Emerald” Stevenson. No finer choice could be had, and it appears Mr. Francis Cuppola knows how to pick them, to say nothing of the damage he’s about to do to that cupcake tray meant for Bindy Trent.
HAL 9000: I fear Bindy may miss her opportunity to try one of the cupcakes made especially in her honor.
NATE HOLLIS: Nothing’s sacred when Mr. Cuppola shows up, know what I’m saying? And speaking of Bindy Trent, how about that victory? Some might call it an upset if they were betting on Ben Haskell, but those people would be out some money right now, and those people would not be me, know what I mean!
Nate chuckles.
NATE HOLLIS: Needless to say, Bindy Trent advances to the second round of the Alpha Cup where it’s anyone’s guess who she’ll be facing, and Benji? Well… who knows what’ll become of him. Up next we have more 1st round Alpha Cup Action coming your way when “The Dragon” Hanzo Kirigaya is set against Trinity Jones. These two come from different divisions here in the AWE, but both are similar in that neither of them have collected a win yet. Well, that’s all about to change for one of these two brave souls. Who you got to win this, ‘9000?
HAL 9000: I hardly feel it would be appropriate to choose, Nathan, seeing as I believe both are worthy combatants.
NATE HOLLIS: Fair enough fair enough. Ever the diplomat, eh ‘9000? Well, rather than wager on it, let’s find out how it went down!
HAL 9000: Rhythm and blues, Nathan.
NATE HOLLIS: Oh, for sure, R & B, Hal. But you gotta run all the bases before you choose which ones you wanna stay at, know what I’m saying?
Nate focuses on the camera.
NATE HOLLIS: Welcome back everybody, me and Hal 9000 here to help you understand the machinations of Francis Ford Cuppola.
HAL 9000: It appears Mr. Cuppola has selected the man he wishes to represent him in the match to decide the new ownership of the company.
NATE HOLLIS: Indeed, indeed, indeed he has, ‘9000. And it’s none other than Drew “Emerald” Stevenson. No finer choice could be had, and it appears Mr. Francis Cuppola knows how to pick them, to say nothing of the damage he’s about to do to that cupcake tray meant for Bindy Trent.
HAL 9000: I fear Bindy may miss her opportunity to try one of the cupcakes made especially in her honor.
NATE HOLLIS: Nothing’s sacred when Mr. Cuppola shows up, know what I’m saying? And speaking of Bindy Trent, how about that victory? Some might call it an upset if they were betting on Ben Haskell, but those people would be out some money right now, and those people would not be me, know what I mean!
Nate chuckles.
NATE HOLLIS: Needless to say, Bindy Trent advances to the second round of the Alpha Cup where it’s anyone’s guess who she’ll be facing, and Benji? Well… who knows what’ll become of him. Up next we have more 1st round Alpha Cup Action coming your way when “The Dragon” Hanzo Kirigaya is set against Trinity Jones. These two come from different divisions here in the AWE, but both are similar in that neither of them have collected a win yet. Well, that’s all about to change for one of these two brave souls. Who you got to win this, ‘9000?
HAL 9000: I hardly feel it would be appropriate to choose, Nathan, seeing as I believe both are worthy combatants.
NATE HOLLIS: Fair enough fair enough. Ever the diplomat, eh ‘9000? Well, rather than wager on it, let’s find out how it went down!
1st Round Alpha Cup Tournament
"The Dragon" Hanzo Kirigaya VS. Trinity Jones
BRAD STOKES: Another ring of the bell and we have ourselves a set of new dance partners in Hanzo Piri-Piri and the Trinitizer. You like my new direction, Nina? Thinking about altering wrestler’s names to names I prefer."The Dragon" Hanzo Kirigaya VS. Trinity Jones
NINA APPLEBAUM: I’m sure it’ll win you plenty of fans in the locker room.
BRAD STOKES: They can suck my left one—OHHH Hard elbow from Trindiana Jones right to the masked face of Hanzo Tandoori!
With Hanzo sufficiently stunned, Trinity snap suplexes him onto the canvas and goes for the cover!
1…
NINA APPLEBAUM: Quick kickout by Hanzo there!
BRAD STOKES: Trini isn’t going to score any quick and painless victories against The Dragonzola. Gonna have to work for it!
Hanzo rolls to his feet as Trinity is up and SLAMS him suddenly with a dropkick that staggers Hanzo back into the corner! Trinity is on her feet swiftly and charging Hanzo aiming for a corner splash but Hanzo is out of there in a heartbeat watching Trinity SMASH into the corner chest first and right into HAnzo who smashes her down with a neckbreaker and goes for a cover of his own!
1…
2…
BRAD STOKES: Kickout!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Hanzo manages to improve his ring game by leaps and bounds on every outing we see him.
BRAD STOKES: And so does Trinity Jones, Nina. Neither of these two have had the greatest of starts, but its definitely not from a lack of trying.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Nice to see you dropped the quirky name-calling, Bradley.
BRAD STOKES: I’m sure I’ll drift back to it when I get bored.
Hanzo grips Trinity by the hair and forcefully tugs her to her feet and whips her for the ropes. Hanzo readies for her return with a stiff clothesline but Trinity surprises him with a float-over DDT that wows the crowd!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Nicely done there by Trinity Jones!
BRAD STOKES: What’s the deal with Trinity’s manager, there?
NINA APPLEBAUM: Who, Felicity Oswald?
BRAD STOKES: Yeah. The Blonde. Nice rack. Think she’d dig me?
NINA APPLEBAUM: I supremely doubt that, Bradley.
BRAD STOKES: I like your cock-blocking style, Nina. Very passive-aggressive.
Trinity isn’t done, quickly gripping Hanzo and tugging him up to his feet and laying into his midsection with a series of stiff kicks before SLAMMING Hanzo back down with a fisherman suplex into a pin!
1…
2…
NINA APPLEBAUM: KICKOUT by Hanzo!
BRAD STOKES: Trinity is one of those wrestlers that’s going to make you think and devise your way through every step of the match otherwise she’s going to capitalize.
Trinity rolls Hanzo forcefully onto his stomach and sends a sharp kick into his side before hooking his ankles, gritting her teeth and wrenching his legs back into a sharpshooter!!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Right in the center of the ring with no where to go!
Hanzo utilizes leverage to power his way up onto his hands and angrily flip Trinity forward out of the sharpshooter before she can manage to lock it on! Hanzo climbs to his feet but Trinity recovers and rams a knee into Hanzo’s spine to keep him down to the canvas and hurriedly locks on a dragon sleeper!
BRAD STOKES: Hatzo’s in trouble!
NINA APPLEBAUM: You know their names, you’ve used them before. Why do you insist on—
BRAD STOKES: I get paid to add idiotic statements, Nina. That’s what I do. Don’t try to change me.
IN the ring Hanzo is surprising Trinity as he digs down deep and manages to stand up with Trinity still trying to apply the Dragon Sleeper before Hanzo drops backwards with all his weight to crush Trinity!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Nice attempt by Trinity, but Hanzo’s size and weight advantage is going to make the submission game very difficult.
Hanzo climbs to his feet in time to have Trinity send a hard kick to the back of his knees and The Dragon staggers forward. Trinity kips up to her feet and angrily unleashes an onslaught of kicks that keeps Hanzo staggering before she BULLDOGS Hanzo down hard into the canvas.
BRAD STOKES: She’s not done there!
Trinity rises back to her feet and unleashes a series of soccer kicks into Hanzo’s side that sends Hanzo sprawling onto his back. Trinity quickly turns and aims a standing moonsault for Hanzo only to find no one home!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Hanzo rolled out of the way!
Trinity is in pain on her stomach with Felicity on the outside smacking her palms onto the apron encouraging Trinity as Hanzo climbs to his feet, recovers his breath and drops a jumping knee hard into Trinity’s spine!
BRAD STOKES: That’ll hurt more than most if you line it up properly like The Dragon did right there.
Hanzo rises back to his feet looking a mite winded as he drags Trinity to her feet and WHIPS her for the corner! He follows her in and SPLASHES Trinity hard and follows it up with a bulldog!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Hanzo with the cover!
1…
2..
THR—
NINA APPLEBAUM: Kickout by Trinity Jones!
Hanzo smacks the canvas to encourage himself as he stands and grips Trinity who surprises him with a takedown into an arm bar!!!
BRAD STOKES: Nice takedown by Trinity Jones!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Hanzo’s got the rope break though!
Hanzo manages a leg on the ropes to break the submission. Theo Refano urges Trinity to let go, which she does, and staggers to a knee as Hanzo does as well.
NINA APPLEBAUM: I don’t think Hanzo was expecting Trinity to put up the fight she has here!
Hanzo is the first to rise to his feet and watches Trinity charge him with force only to SLAM her right back down with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker! Hanzo is fired up enough to rise to his feet and SLAM down onto Trinity with a shooting star press from a standing position right into a pin attempt!
1..
2..
THR—KICKOUT!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Impressive maneuver by Hanzo Kirigaya there! What’s it going to take to keep Trinity down for the three count, Bradley?
BRAD STOKES: Sledgehammer? I don’t know. She’s not staying down, so then Hanzo’s gotta do more damage. Easy as that. Do I have to wrestle the match for these two as well?
NINA APPLEBAUM: Well, no, I was just—
BRAD STOKES: I know what you were just, Nina. I think that stupid Hanzo mask would look better on me anyway!
Hanzo lays a series of stomps down into Trinity before dragging her to her feet. Trinity somehow wills up the strength to bulrush Hanzo back into the corner and lay a series of shoulder thrusts into Hanzo before furiously stepping back and laying a STIFF Sidekick that stuns Hanzo where he stands before she WHIPS Hanzo into the opposite corner even harder than before!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Bad sign for Hanzo as Trinity starts to mount some definitive offense here!
Hanzo hits hard and Trinity follows him in with a HARD splash then follows it up with stiff stomps that rock Hanzo in the corner as the crowd counts along!
1!
2!
3!
4!
5!
And with a burst of adrenaline Trinity whips Hanzo BACK into the opposite corner where he hits with the force of a freight train! Trinity charges again!
BRAD STOKES: This could be the—
Hanzo shifts out of the way and Trinity collides hard with the turnbuckle and staggers out and a pained and a stunned Hanzo elbows Trinity hard! Then another and another before Hanzo locks Trinity into a cradle clutch.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Hanzo’s reversed this match in a hurry!!!!
It takes all his strength to heave Trinity up into a vertical position!
BRAD STOKES: He’s got her up!!!
Hanzo steadies himself and then WHAM! Slams Trinity down to a roaring pop from the crowd! Hanzo goes for the cover in obvious pain!
1…
2…
3!!!
NINA APPLEBAUM: HE DID IT! Hanzo did it!
DING! DING! DING!
"Jibun Rock" by ONE OK ROCK hits on the speakers as Hanzo holds his neck in pain and climbs to his feet to get his arm raised!
BRAD STOKES: And look how happy he is!
NINA APPLEBAUM: He should be! That’s his first victory here in the AWE!!
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: And your winner… Advancing to the second round of the Alpha Cup tournament… he is “THE DRAGON”… HANZO… KIRIGAYAAAAAAAAA!
NINA APPLEBAUM: That capacity crowd couldn’t be more impressed with Hanzo right now. He took a beating, but managed to remain focused on his game plan.
BRAD STOKES: That’s exactly what he needs to keep doing in this tournament and beyond if Hanzo wishes to keep having his arm raised!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Who cares about next time right now, Bradley? Hanzo won, and he’s moving on, while Trinity goes back to the drawing board to see what went wrong there.
“I Can’t Help Myself” by the Four Tops is rocking, and Nate is grooving to it as the cameras come to focus on him. The music volume lowers.
NATE HOLLIS: How’s it going, AWE! It’s ya boi, Nate Hollis here with the Hal 9000 Michael Jordan cardboard cutout coming at ya. And how about Hanzo Kirigaya pulling out that stunning victory, ‘9000?
HAL 9000: He was truly a deserving victor, Nathan.
NATE HOLLIS: Absolutely. And that, in no way, sells short the fact that Trinity Jones tried her heart out. She just happened to come up short. It’s that way in this sport, oftentimes a victory is more about inches than yards, you know?
HAL 9000: I believe you’ve said that before.
NATE HOLLIS: But it’s true, ‘9000. Winning and losing is fleeting, my girl Trinity said it best when she pointed out this was about the journey. And right now? Her Journey’s just taking a dip in a valley! Bound to come out eventually! Coming up next? We got another set of comptitors who’ve yet to find their stride here in the AWE. Corey Sanders and “The Hawkeye Warrior” Jessie Roberts. Jessie Roberts came up short against James Radford twice in a row now and she’s looking to change that pattern up here against the resident Power Rangers mega fan himself, Corey Sanders, let’s see how that went down!
NATE HOLLIS: How’s it going, AWE! It’s ya boi, Nate Hollis here with the Hal 9000 Michael Jordan cardboard cutout coming at ya. And how about Hanzo Kirigaya pulling out that stunning victory, ‘9000?
HAL 9000: He was truly a deserving victor, Nathan.
NATE HOLLIS: Absolutely. And that, in no way, sells short the fact that Trinity Jones tried her heart out. She just happened to come up short. It’s that way in this sport, oftentimes a victory is more about inches than yards, you know?
HAL 9000: I believe you’ve said that before.
NATE HOLLIS: But it’s true, ‘9000. Winning and losing is fleeting, my girl Trinity said it best when she pointed out this was about the journey. And right now? Her Journey’s just taking a dip in a valley! Bound to come out eventually! Coming up next? We got another set of comptitors who’ve yet to find their stride here in the AWE. Corey Sanders and “The Hawkeye Warrior” Jessie Roberts. Jessie Roberts came up short against James Radford twice in a row now and she’s looking to change that pattern up here against the resident Power Rangers mega fan himself, Corey Sanders, let’s see how that went down!
1st Round Alpha Cup Tournament
Corey Sanders VS. Jessie Roberts
DING! DING! DING!
1st Round Alpha Cup Tournament
Hunter Storms VS. Austin Gale
DING! DING! DING!
1st Round Alpha Cup Tournament
Aokigahara Zombie VS. Owen Salvo
1st Round Alpha Cup Tournament
Aaron Pace VS. S.O.B.
1st Round Alpha Cup Tournament
Caroline O'Hara Burchill VS. Tiara Wilder
Corey Sanders VS. Jessie Roberts
DING! DING! DING!
Right off the bell Jessie Roberts swings a hard haymaker for Corey Sanders’ jaw but he swiftly hooks that arm and turns it into an expert judo throw!
NINA APPLEBAUM: A near master level judoka versus one of the hardest strikers in the AWE! This match is going to be a stunner!
BRAD STOKES: He’s not a judoka, dummy. He’s got training in mixed martial arts and junk. That doesn’t immediately mean he’s a judoka!
NINA APPLEBAUM: I stand corrected!
Jessie Roberts rolls with the throw and gets to her feet leaving little space for Sanders to prepare for the flurry of right and left kicks aiming for Sanders’ sides. Sanders moves in reverse, deflecting each kick as he backs up!
BRAD STOKES: I’ll tell you this much, Roberts can prepare anyway she wants for a match against Corey Sanders, but if she’s expecting to just connect those strikes without wearing him down first with some good old fashioned grinding, she’s not going anywhere fast.
Roberts gets Sanders’s sufficiently backed up before Sanders shifts momentum and nails Roberts with an Atomic Drop that leaves her staggering backwards away from Sanders. With a near grin to Izzy at ringside, Sanders delivers a picture-perfect spinning back kick that knocks Roberts down to the canvas!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Hard kick there by Corey Sanders!
BRAD STOKES: It damn well better be, cause Roberts isn’t messing around with her strikes either!
With Roberts down, Corey Sanders moves in and drops a leg drop down hard onto her chest and shifts in for a cover!
1…
NINA APPLEBAUM: Quick kickout there by Jessie Roberts! Nice to see Corey Sanders has overcome any reservations he may have had fighting a female.
BRAD STOKES: It doesn't seem as though Jessie Roberts is all that concerned about Corey Sanders' gender, it's best he gets over that reservation and fast!
Sanders eyes Izzy Jones as he forces Jessie Roberts to her feet and strikes a swift elbow into her jaw that sends her spinning, but catches Sanders off-guard as she spins into a backfist that surprises and staggers Sanders and leaves him open to a renewed series of gut shots and hard punches from Jessie Roberts that once more backs Sanders into the ropes on the defensive!
BRAD STOKES: Roberts finally broke through Sanders’ defense.
Roberts aims to whip Corey for the ropes but doesn’t let go of his arm, instead transfers into a discus clothesline with added momentum that drops Corey Sanders down HARD to the canvas!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Nice clothesline there by Jessie Roberts. Once she gets her footing in a match, she can be downright lethal!
Roberts almost takes that comment to heart as she kneels over Corey Sanders and unleashes a series of hard punches down into Sanders’ face before forcing him up to his feet and slamming him back down in a sudden snap suplex!
BRAD STOKES: Quick cover here!
1…
TW—
NINA APPLEBAUM: Not gonna happen so long as Corey Sanders has some fight left in him!
Corey checks his mouth for blood as “The Hawkeye Warrior” raises to one knee and gathers her strength before gripping Corey by the hair and dragging him back to his feet. She keeps him off-balance with a series of hard knife edge chops once more backing Sanders into the ropes where she once more aims to whip him across the ring for a rebound only for Corey to reverse the momentum and instead send Jessie Roberts pounding the ring boards and back for a sudden well-timed float-over neckbreaker!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Textbook. Corey Sanders’ sheer skill in the ring is something to marvel at, Bradley.
BRAD STOKES: Sure, but he’s gotta win to make it count for something.
NINA APPLEBAUM: And he’s looking to do just that!
Sanders has made it to the top-rope to peer down at the downed Jessie Roberts as the crowd is on their feet waiting to see what Corey does! With a determined and focused eye he leaps into the air into a shooting star flip DOWN into a leg drop that ignites the crowd!
BRAD STOKES: Spectacularly done!
NINA APPLEBAUM: And the cover!
1…
2…
THR—
NINA APPLEBAUM: Near fall for Corey Sanders!
BRAD STOKES: And yet, Jessie Roberts is still ticking in there!
Corey Sanders smacks the mat in a moment of frustration before quickly refocusing his attention, looking to his wife Izzy Jones for encouragement before getting Jessie Roberts once more to her feet and unloads into her with a rapid-fire set of punches down Roberts’ torso that leaves her stunned before Roberts backs up and calls for it! Pointing almost skyward as the crowd is roaring. Sanders spins into the 540 kick aimed straight for Roberts’ skull but she narrowly sidesteps the kick much to Corey Sanders’ surprise. Wide-eyed and almost dumbfounded as Roberts moves in behind him and SLAMS Sanders down with a bridging German suplex into a pin!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Could it be?!
1…
2..
THR—
BRAD STOKES: Close but no cigar!
NINA APPLEBAUM: I cannot believe how CLOSE Roberts was to being struck by Sanders’ finisher there!
BRAD STOKES: Definitely not something you want to get hit by, it was all over but Roberts staved off elimination from the Alpha Cup there by either luck, or… well, probably luck, if we’re being honest.
Sanders is down and in pain and Roberts is seated catching her breath looking winded down at Corey.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Corey Sanders just laid a pretty sound beating down into Jessie Roberts there, she’s going to have dig down deep to keep going here!
Sanders rolls to all fours still panting, as Roberts climbs to a knee struggling to get her feet under her. The crowd is pumped, getting behind either of them as Corey makes it to a knee, but Roberts is on her feet first, digging down deep to rush Sanders and SLAMS him almost forcefully up to his feet with a thrusting knee that leaves Sanders looking skyward.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Jessie Roberts is in full-on beatdown mode!
BRAD STOKES: Bad news for Corey Sanders!
“The Hawkeye Warrior” lays a fierce flurry of punches into Sanders to keep him off guard before whipping him hard for the corner where Sanders lands hard and props into the turnbuckles! Roberts, buoyed by the crowd, launches into a handstand and orients into a hard elbow into Sanders jaw there in the corner!
NINA APPLEBAUM: TRIBUTE TO CHYNA!
Corey Sanders stumbles out of the corner and Roberts lines him up, and points out to the crowd who blasts a huge pop back at her. Roberts unleashes a superkick that Sanders inexplicably grabs by the ankle and reverses Roberts’ momentum, sending her spiraling into the center of the ring!
BRAD STOKES: GOOD LORD HE DODGED ROBERTS’ FINISHER?!
Little time wasted, Sanders lines up the kick and flashes back into the 540 corkscrew kick that sends Roberts spinning down to the canvas!
NINA APPLEBAUM: IT’S MORPHIN’ TIME!!!
Sanders slides down and hooks Roberts’ leg for the cover!
1…
2…
3!!!!
BRAD STOKES: Unbelievable!
"Good Fight" by Unspoken blasts onto the sound system as the crowd roars!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Corey Sanders advances!
Sanders is up to his feet with his wife Izzy sliding into the ring to celebrate with him as Marshall Douglas starts in to announce the winner!
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: Here is your winner, advancing into the second round of the Alpha Cup… COREY…. SANDERRRRRRRSSSSS!!!
The crowd pops as Corey is all smiles in the ring giving a big kiss to his wife to celebrate.
NINA APPLEBAUM: A near master level judoka versus one of the hardest strikers in the AWE! This match is going to be a stunner!
BRAD STOKES: He’s not a judoka, dummy. He’s got training in mixed martial arts and junk. That doesn’t immediately mean he’s a judoka!
NINA APPLEBAUM: I stand corrected!
Jessie Roberts rolls with the throw and gets to her feet leaving little space for Sanders to prepare for the flurry of right and left kicks aiming for Sanders’ sides. Sanders moves in reverse, deflecting each kick as he backs up!
BRAD STOKES: I’ll tell you this much, Roberts can prepare anyway she wants for a match against Corey Sanders, but if she’s expecting to just connect those strikes without wearing him down first with some good old fashioned grinding, she’s not going anywhere fast.
Roberts gets Sanders’s sufficiently backed up before Sanders shifts momentum and nails Roberts with an Atomic Drop that leaves her staggering backwards away from Sanders. With a near grin to Izzy at ringside, Sanders delivers a picture-perfect spinning back kick that knocks Roberts down to the canvas!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Hard kick there by Corey Sanders!
BRAD STOKES: It damn well better be, cause Roberts isn’t messing around with her strikes either!
With Roberts down, Corey Sanders moves in and drops a leg drop down hard onto her chest and shifts in for a cover!
1…
NINA APPLEBAUM: Quick kickout there by Jessie Roberts! Nice to see Corey Sanders has overcome any reservations he may have had fighting a female.
BRAD STOKES: It doesn't seem as though Jessie Roberts is all that concerned about Corey Sanders' gender, it's best he gets over that reservation and fast!
Sanders eyes Izzy Jones as he forces Jessie Roberts to her feet and strikes a swift elbow into her jaw that sends her spinning, but catches Sanders off-guard as she spins into a backfist that surprises and staggers Sanders and leaves him open to a renewed series of gut shots and hard punches from Jessie Roberts that once more backs Sanders into the ropes on the defensive!
BRAD STOKES: Roberts finally broke through Sanders’ defense.
Roberts aims to whip Corey for the ropes but doesn’t let go of his arm, instead transfers into a discus clothesline with added momentum that drops Corey Sanders down HARD to the canvas!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Nice clothesline there by Jessie Roberts. Once she gets her footing in a match, she can be downright lethal!
Roberts almost takes that comment to heart as she kneels over Corey Sanders and unleashes a series of hard punches down into Sanders’ face before forcing him up to his feet and slamming him back down in a sudden snap suplex!
BRAD STOKES: Quick cover here!
1…
TW—
NINA APPLEBAUM: Not gonna happen so long as Corey Sanders has some fight left in him!
Corey checks his mouth for blood as “The Hawkeye Warrior” raises to one knee and gathers her strength before gripping Corey by the hair and dragging him back to his feet. She keeps him off-balance with a series of hard knife edge chops once more backing Sanders into the ropes where she once more aims to whip him across the ring for a rebound only for Corey to reverse the momentum and instead send Jessie Roberts pounding the ring boards and back for a sudden well-timed float-over neckbreaker!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Textbook. Corey Sanders’ sheer skill in the ring is something to marvel at, Bradley.
BRAD STOKES: Sure, but he’s gotta win to make it count for something.
NINA APPLEBAUM: And he’s looking to do just that!
Sanders has made it to the top-rope to peer down at the downed Jessie Roberts as the crowd is on their feet waiting to see what Corey does! With a determined and focused eye he leaps into the air into a shooting star flip DOWN into a leg drop that ignites the crowd!
BRAD STOKES: Spectacularly done!
NINA APPLEBAUM: And the cover!
1…
2…
THR—
NINA APPLEBAUM: Near fall for Corey Sanders!
BRAD STOKES: And yet, Jessie Roberts is still ticking in there!
Corey Sanders smacks the mat in a moment of frustration before quickly refocusing his attention, looking to his wife Izzy Jones for encouragement before getting Jessie Roberts once more to her feet and unloads into her with a rapid-fire set of punches down Roberts’ torso that leaves her stunned before Roberts backs up and calls for it! Pointing almost skyward as the crowd is roaring. Sanders spins into the 540 kick aimed straight for Roberts’ skull but she narrowly sidesteps the kick much to Corey Sanders’ surprise. Wide-eyed and almost dumbfounded as Roberts moves in behind him and SLAMS Sanders down with a bridging German suplex into a pin!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Could it be?!
1…
2..
THR—
BRAD STOKES: Close but no cigar!
NINA APPLEBAUM: I cannot believe how CLOSE Roberts was to being struck by Sanders’ finisher there!
BRAD STOKES: Definitely not something you want to get hit by, it was all over but Roberts staved off elimination from the Alpha Cup there by either luck, or… well, probably luck, if we’re being honest.
Sanders is down and in pain and Roberts is seated catching her breath looking winded down at Corey.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Corey Sanders just laid a pretty sound beating down into Jessie Roberts there, she’s going to have dig down deep to keep going here!
Sanders rolls to all fours still panting, as Roberts climbs to a knee struggling to get her feet under her. The crowd is pumped, getting behind either of them as Corey makes it to a knee, but Roberts is on her feet first, digging down deep to rush Sanders and SLAMS him almost forcefully up to his feet with a thrusting knee that leaves Sanders looking skyward.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Jessie Roberts is in full-on beatdown mode!
BRAD STOKES: Bad news for Corey Sanders!
“The Hawkeye Warrior” lays a fierce flurry of punches into Sanders to keep him off guard before whipping him hard for the corner where Sanders lands hard and props into the turnbuckles! Roberts, buoyed by the crowd, launches into a handstand and orients into a hard elbow into Sanders jaw there in the corner!
NINA APPLEBAUM: TRIBUTE TO CHYNA!
Corey Sanders stumbles out of the corner and Roberts lines him up, and points out to the crowd who blasts a huge pop back at her. Roberts unleashes a superkick that Sanders inexplicably grabs by the ankle and reverses Roberts’ momentum, sending her spiraling into the center of the ring!
BRAD STOKES: GOOD LORD HE DODGED ROBERTS’ FINISHER?!
Little time wasted, Sanders lines up the kick and flashes back into the 540 corkscrew kick that sends Roberts spinning down to the canvas!
NINA APPLEBAUM: IT’S MORPHIN’ TIME!!!
Sanders slides down and hooks Roberts’ leg for the cover!
1…
2…
3!!!!
DING! DING! DING!
BRAD STOKES: Unbelievable!
"Good Fight" by Unspoken blasts onto the sound system as the crowd roars!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Corey Sanders advances!
Sanders is up to his feet with his wife Izzy sliding into the ring to celebrate with him as Marshall Douglas starts in to announce the winner!
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: Here is your winner, advancing into the second round of the Alpha Cup… COREY…. SANDERRRRRRRSSSSS!!!
The crowd pops as Corey is all smiles in the ring giving a big kiss to his wife to celebrate.
“Oooh Child” by the Five Stairstep is rocking in the AWE Studio before the volume lowers and throws to Nate.
NATE HOLLIS: WOW! Did Corey Sanders and Jessie Roberts ever light that one up, AWEphiles? What you think, Hal?
HAL 9000: I believe they did, Nathan. I have to say it was quite impressive to watch Corey Sanders pull out the win after such a hard fought battle with Jessie Roberts.
NATE HOLLIS: No doubt, ‘9000. Jessie Roberts pushed Corey Sanders to his absolutel limit, and in the end he managed to make it Morphin’ Time and Corey Sanders moves on, while Jessie Roberts has to figure out the right recipe to get her groove going.
HAL 9000: Perhaps it’s simply a matter of fine tuning, Nathan?
NATE HOLLIS: I hear ya, Hal. Sometimes it’s not a drastic overhaul of our technique but a drastic examination of the technique itself. Sometimes it’s not about what we’re doing, but how we’re doing it, know what I’m saying? I’m sure The “Hawkeye Warrior” will pull it together. As for Corey Sanders? He moves one step closer to the Alpha Cup, but there’s still so many steps to go. Up next we get to see what happened between Hunter Storms and Austin Gale, two men who who were at each other’s throats all week leading up to Massacre, and that can only mean these two were gearing up for a bloodbath, check it out.
NATE HOLLIS: WOW! Did Corey Sanders and Jessie Roberts ever light that one up, AWEphiles? What you think, Hal?
HAL 9000: I believe they did, Nathan. I have to say it was quite impressive to watch Corey Sanders pull out the win after such a hard fought battle with Jessie Roberts.
NATE HOLLIS: No doubt, ‘9000. Jessie Roberts pushed Corey Sanders to his absolutel limit, and in the end he managed to make it Morphin’ Time and Corey Sanders moves on, while Jessie Roberts has to figure out the right recipe to get her groove going.
HAL 9000: Perhaps it’s simply a matter of fine tuning, Nathan?
NATE HOLLIS: I hear ya, Hal. Sometimes it’s not a drastic overhaul of our technique but a drastic examination of the technique itself. Sometimes it’s not about what we’re doing, but how we’re doing it, know what I’m saying? I’m sure The “Hawkeye Warrior” will pull it together. As for Corey Sanders? He moves one step closer to the Alpha Cup, but there’s still so many steps to go. Up next we get to see what happened between Hunter Storms and Austin Gale, two men who who were at each other’s throats all week leading up to Massacre, and that can only mean these two were gearing up for a bloodbath, check it out.
1st Round Alpha Cup Tournament
Hunter Storms VS. Austin Gale
DING! DING! DING!
At the sound of the bell, Hunter Storms and Austin Gale circle one another in the ring before charging in for a collar-and-elbow lock up that quickly sees Hunter Storms overpower Austin and back him into the corner, before pulling back and laying into Austin with a powerful knife-edge chop!
NINA APPLEBAUM: There’s the power of Hunter Storms.
BRAD STOKES: Going up against an Austin Gale who lacks the level of experience Hunter Storms brings to the table!
Another knife-edge chop is enough to leave the chest of Austin Gale already reddened as Hunter swings Austin out of the corner, aiming to irish whip Austin into the opposite corner only to find Austin swiftly takes Hunter down with a drop toe hold and instantly follows it up with some cringeworthy hard punches into Hunter’s back and spine!
BRAD STOKES: While on the other hand Austin Gale’s level of brutality is easily on par with Hunter Storms. Who you got to win this thing, Nina?
NINA APPLEBAUM: Well, Bradley, I—
BRAD STOKES: If you say the fans so help me.
NINA APPLEBAUM: I must say that fairly frequently.
BRAD STOKES: You’re nauseatingly diplomatic.
Austin curb stomps Hunter into the canvas before dragging him to his feet finding Hunter slamming a hard fist into Austin’s midsection to double him over and Hunter lays into Austin with a wicked gutwrench suplex!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Hunter with the cover!
1…
NINA APPLEBAUM: Kickout! These two have a long ways to go in this match before we find out who’s moving on in the Alpha Cup tournament!
Hunter climbs to one knee and rolls his neck to get a few knots out before gripping Austin by the neck and attempts to drag him up to his feet into a suplx clutch that Austin spins his way out of, lays a kick into Hunter’s midsection and SLAMS Hunter down in a sitout facebuster!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Nice foresight by Austin Gale. IN spite of a lack of ring experience, he’s not showing a lack of ring awareness of fortitude.
BRAD STOKES: Must’ve found time to train with some extracurricular training in between puppet shows with Wolfe!
NINA APPLEBAUM: I’m not entirely sure Adam Wolfe is responsible for the training of Austin Gale, Bradley.
BRAD STOKES: Sure he is! Look at Austin Gale. Same haircut. Same dumb eyes! May as well be brothers, at this rate!
Austin grips Hunter by the shoulder and tugs him to his feet, quickly hooking his arms and SLAMMING him over in an underhook suplex! And he’s not done, quickly grabbing Storms back up to his feet and slamming a hard knee into Hunter’s side on the way up before CLOBBERING Hunter with a wicked Belly to Belly suplex!
NINA APPLEBAUM: A lot of damage done there by Austin Gale! And he goes for the cover, this could be it!
1…
2..
BRAD STOKES: Are you kidding? Hunter Storms has probably shit out bigger chunks of corn than this Austin Gale fool!
NINA APPLEBAUM: I… uhh
BRAD STOKES: Don’t try to deny it, Nina!
Austin drives a set of knees into Hunter’s side followed by an elbow before he drags Hunter back to his feet and lays a series of punches into Storms’ chest and midsection to keep him off balance only for Hunter to block one of those punches and return fire with one of his own that’s hard enough to stagger Austin and then SPIKE his head down hard with a DDT!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Bitter see-saw battle here!
BRAD STOKES: These two went back and forth on the twitter, Nina! That’s the social media equivalent to a tickle fight! Now this right here? This is the real ultraviolence.
NINA APPLEBAUM: It may just be the way these two are brutalizing each other!
Hunter stands and jump and drops a hard knee into Austin’s chest that sends Gale shuddering and writhing in pain as Hunter drops another! And Another before unleashing a torrent of kicks that rolls Austin over onto his stomach and Hunter quickly drops down for a twisting camel clutch that agonizes poor Austin’s spine!
NINA APPLEBAUM: They’re too close to the ropes, and Hunter Storms knows it! That camel clutch has been applied purely for pain!
BRAD STOKES: What did I just say about the twitter war, Nina? Austin called Hunter a woman! That’s a gigantic insult! You must hate being called a woman all the time!
NINA APPLEBAUM: I--… uhm.
While Nina stutters a response and Brad chuckles, Hunter lifts Austin forcibly off the canvas from the camel clutch into a full nelson and SLAMS Austin backwards in a bridging full nelson suplex pin combination!
1…
2…
THR---
BRAD STOKES: No cigar for Hunter! Austin Gale may be a lot of things but he’s no pushover. Some folks haven’t seemed to learn that, and Austin keeps teaching them.
NINA APPLEBAUM: That’s right, it technically took two men to eliminate Austin Gale from the Resilience Royal Rumble two weeks ago, and before that it was a tooth-and-nail battle with S.O.B. that just Austin narrowly lost.
BRAD STOKES: Meanwhile, Hunter Storms is likely going to kill him before Massacre 4, so…
True to form, Hunter remains stomping down hard on Austin Gale as though trying to beat him down into the canvas. The kicks get more and more brutal before Hunter drags Austin up once more only to find Austin surprises him with a low blow that stuns Hunter. Austin rises to his feet and slams his forehead off Hunter’s and backs Hunter up who must be seeing stars and Austin SLAMS Hunter down with a crowd-pleasing float-over DDT!
BRAD STOKES: Twenty million dollars stands for the first time Theo Refano actually catches a low blow.
NINA APPLEBAUM: That’s a lot of money.
BRAD STOKES: Yeah, and it’s going to seriously mess with someone’s flow when he does catch one and disqualify them!
Austin climbs slowly to all fours as Hunter rolls his way out under the ring ropes to the outside to catch his breath, but Austin seems too determined to let that happen. He takes a step backward and SLAMS into Hunter with a baseball slide that topples Hunter against the guardrail! And Austin takes another step back and scouts the distance.
BRAD STOKES: He’s not going to…
NINA APPLEBAUM: Not known for anything high-flying, he could just be—OH NO!
Austin takes flight over the ropes and the moment hangs in mid-air as Austin SLAMS a cross body block into Hunter that sends them BOTH knocking over the guard rail and into the crowd!
BRAD STOKES: SWEET MERCIFUL BURCHILL THOSE TWO ARE LITERALLY TRYING TO KILL EACH OTHER!
The crowd is roaring as neither man is moving where they lay panting heavily!
NINA APPLEBAUM: A high risk maneuver that looked more like a sheer suicide dive for Hunter Storms has successfully taken BOTH men out on the outside, folks! This could end in a count out!
The ref begins the count!
1!
2!
BRAD STOKES: STOP THE FIGHT, THEY’RE DEAD!
3!
4!
Austin Gale spills out from the crowd onto the concrete at ringside looking exhausted!
NINA APPLEBAUM: One of them is still moving!
5!
Hunter drags himself after Austin, grabbing onto Austin’s ankle only to have Austin stomp the sole of his foot back hard into Hunter’s face bloodying up Hunter’s lip!
BRAD STOKES: This one’s a rager, folks! These two just might give me my early Christmas present and kill one another!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Bradley!
BRAD STOKES: IT’S WHAT I’VE ALWAYS WANTED, NINA!
Austin manages to climb to his but not before Hunter has gotten his legs under him and rushed Austin with a hard bull charge into Austin’s back that SLAMS Austin chest first into the ring apron!
6!
BRAD STOKES: DO IT YOU BLOODYTHIRSTY FOOLS! FINISH THE JOB!
Austin swings an elbow backward slamming right off Hunter’s jaw and spinning him sideways! Austin grips the back of Hunter’s head, repositions and SLAMS Hunter face-first off the ring apron repeatedly!
7!
Before he angrily rolls Hunter Storms into the ring and rolls in after him.
NINA APPLEBAUM: There’s no love lost between these two, that’s for certain!
Hunter climbs to his feet and decks Austin hard in the midsection! Both men are half-teetering after this brawl as Hunter straightens up and gets a backhanded chop from Austin that staggers him! Hunter returns fire only to have Austin block it, lock his head under his arm and HOIST Hunter up vertically and SLAM Hunter down into a Northern Lights Driver!
NINA APPLEBAUM: GALE FORCE! GALE FORCE!
Austin hooks Hunter’s leg and goes for the pin!
1…
2…
3!!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Austin Gale has done it! He has managed to progress into the Alpha Cup Tournament!
BRAD STOKES: Can’t you wait for Marshall Douglas, to say it?
NINA APPLEBAUM: You can’t be serious?
BRAD STOKES: That’s what he’s paid for, dammit!
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: Here is your winner, advancing to the second round of the Alpha Cup Tournament…. AUSTIN…. GALLLLLEEEEEEE!!
BRAD STOKES: I told you!
NINA APPLEBAUM: And there you have it! After one of the nights more brutal matches so far, we have our fourth competitor to advance in the Alpha Cup tournament!
BRAD STOKES: That one was teetering in both of those guys’ favor. Austin Gale may have the win this time, but Hunter Storms is bound to have the win the next time those two meet.
NINA APPLEBAUM: For now, one moves on, one does not.
NINA APPLEBAUM: There’s the power of Hunter Storms.
BRAD STOKES: Going up against an Austin Gale who lacks the level of experience Hunter Storms brings to the table!
Another knife-edge chop is enough to leave the chest of Austin Gale already reddened as Hunter swings Austin out of the corner, aiming to irish whip Austin into the opposite corner only to find Austin swiftly takes Hunter down with a drop toe hold and instantly follows it up with some cringeworthy hard punches into Hunter’s back and spine!
BRAD STOKES: While on the other hand Austin Gale’s level of brutality is easily on par with Hunter Storms. Who you got to win this thing, Nina?
NINA APPLEBAUM: Well, Bradley, I—
BRAD STOKES: If you say the fans so help me.
NINA APPLEBAUM: I must say that fairly frequently.
BRAD STOKES: You’re nauseatingly diplomatic.
Austin curb stomps Hunter into the canvas before dragging him to his feet finding Hunter slamming a hard fist into Austin’s midsection to double him over and Hunter lays into Austin with a wicked gutwrench suplex!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Hunter with the cover!
1…
NINA APPLEBAUM: Kickout! These two have a long ways to go in this match before we find out who’s moving on in the Alpha Cup tournament!
Hunter climbs to one knee and rolls his neck to get a few knots out before gripping Austin by the neck and attempts to drag him up to his feet into a suplx clutch that Austin spins his way out of, lays a kick into Hunter’s midsection and SLAMS Hunter down in a sitout facebuster!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Nice foresight by Austin Gale. IN spite of a lack of ring experience, he’s not showing a lack of ring awareness of fortitude.
BRAD STOKES: Must’ve found time to train with some extracurricular training in between puppet shows with Wolfe!
NINA APPLEBAUM: I’m not entirely sure Adam Wolfe is responsible for the training of Austin Gale, Bradley.
BRAD STOKES: Sure he is! Look at Austin Gale. Same haircut. Same dumb eyes! May as well be brothers, at this rate!
Austin grips Hunter by the shoulder and tugs him to his feet, quickly hooking his arms and SLAMMING him over in an underhook suplex! And he’s not done, quickly grabbing Storms back up to his feet and slamming a hard knee into Hunter’s side on the way up before CLOBBERING Hunter with a wicked Belly to Belly suplex!
NINA APPLEBAUM: A lot of damage done there by Austin Gale! And he goes for the cover, this could be it!
1…
2..
BRAD STOKES: Are you kidding? Hunter Storms has probably shit out bigger chunks of corn than this Austin Gale fool!
NINA APPLEBAUM: I… uhh
BRAD STOKES: Don’t try to deny it, Nina!
Austin drives a set of knees into Hunter’s side followed by an elbow before he drags Hunter back to his feet and lays a series of punches into Storms’ chest and midsection to keep him off balance only for Hunter to block one of those punches and return fire with one of his own that’s hard enough to stagger Austin and then SPIKE his head down hard with a DDT!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Bitter see-saw battle here!
BRAD STOKES: These two went back and forth on the twitter, Nina! That’s the social media equivalent to a tickle fight! Now this right here? This is the real ultraviolence.
NINA APPLEBAUM: It may just be the way these two are brutalizing each other!
Hunter stands and jump and drops a hard knee into Austin’s chest that sends Gale shuddering and writhing in pain as Hunter drops another! And Another before unleashing a torrent of kicks that rolls Austin over onto his stomach and Hunter quickly drops down for a twisting camel clutch that agonizes poor Austin’s spine!
NINA APPLEBAUM: They’re too close to the ropes, and Hunter Storms knows it! That camel clutch has been applied purely for pain!
BRAD STOKES: What did I just say about the twitter war, Nina? Austin called Hunter a woman! That’s a gigantic insult! You must hate being called a woman all the time!
NINA APPLEBAUM: I--… uhm.
While Nina stutters a response and Brad chuckles, Hunter lifts Austin forcibly off the canvas from the camel clutch into a full nelson and SLAMS Austin backwards in a bridging full nelson suplex pin combination!
1…
2…
THR---
BRAD STOKES: No cigar for Hunter! Austin Gale may be a lot of things but he’s no pushover. Some folks haven’t seemed to learn that, and Austin keeps teaching them.
NINA APPLEBAUM: That’s right, it technically took two men to eliminate Austin Gale from the Resilience Royal Rumble two weeks ago, and before that it was a tooth-and-nail battle with S.O.B. that just Austin narrowly lost.
BRAD STOKES: Meanwhile, Hunter Storms is likely going to kill him before Massacre 4, so…
True to form, Hunter remains stomping down hard on Austin Gale as though trying to beat him down into the canvas. The kicks get more and more brutal before Hunter drags Austin up once more only to find Austin surprises him with a low blow that stuns Hunter. Austin rises to his feet and slams his forehead off Hunter’s and backs Hunter up who must be seeing stars and Austin SLAMS Hunter down with a crowd-pleasing float-over DDT!
BRAD STOKES: Twenty million dollars stands for the first time Theo Refano actually catches a low blow.
NINA APPLEBAUM: That’s a lot of money.
BRAD STOKES: Yeah, and it’s going to seriously mess with someone’s flow when he does catch one and disqualify them!
Austin climbs slowly to all fours as Hunter rolls his way out under the ring ropes to the outside to catch his breath, but Austin seems too determined to let that happen. He takes a step backward and SLAMS into Hunter with a baseball slide that topples Hunter against the guardrail! And Austin takes another step back and scouts the distance.
BRAD STOKES: He’s not going to…
NINA APPLEBAUM: Not known for anything high-flying, he could just be—OH NO!
Austin takes flight over the ropes and the moment hangs in mid-air as Austin SLAMS a cross body block into Hunter that sends them BOTH knocking over the guard rail and into the crowd!
BRAD STOKES: SWEET MERCIFUL BURCHILL THOSE TWO ARE LITERALLY TRYING TO KILL EACH OTHER!
The crowd is roaring as neither man is moving where they lay panting heavily!
NINA APPLEBAUM: A high risk maneuver that looked more like a sheer suicide dive for Hunter Storms has successfully taken BOTH men out on the outside, folks! This could end in a count out!
The ref begins the count!
1!
2!
BRAD STOKES: STOP THE FIGHT, THEY’RE DEAD!
3!
4!
Austin Gale spills out from the crowd onto the concrete at ringside looking exhausted!
NINA APPLEBAUM: One of them is still moving!
5!
Hunter drags himself after Austin, grabbing onto Austin’s ankle only to have Austin stomp the sole of his foot back hard into Hunter’s face bloodying up Hunter’s lip!
BRAD STOKES: This one’s a rager, folks! These two just might give me my early Christmas present and kill one another!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Bradley!
BRAD STOKES: IT’S WHAT I’VE ALWAYS WANTED, NINA!
Austin manages to climb to his but not before Hunter has gotten his legs under him and rushed Austin with a hard bull charge into Austin’s back that SLAMS Austin chest first into the ring apron!
6!
BRAD STOKES: DO IT YOU BLOODYTHIRSTY FOOLS! FINISH THE JOB!
Austin swings an elbow backward slamming right off Hunter’s jaw and spinning him sideways! Austin grips the back of Hunter’s head, repositions and SLAMS Hunter face-first off the ring apron repeatedly!
7!
Before he angrily rolls Hunter Storms into the ring and rolls in after him.
NINA APPLEBAUM: There’s no love lost between these two, that’s for certain!
Hunter climbs to his feet and decks Austin hard in the midsection! Both men are half-teetering after this brawl as Hunter straightens up and gets a backhanded chop from Austin that staggers him! Hunter returns fire only to have Austin block it, lock his head under his arm and HOIST Hunter up vertically and SLAM Hunter down into a Northern Lights Driver!
NINA APPLEBAUM: GALE FORCE! GALE FORCE!
Austin hooks Hunter’s leg and goes for the pin!
1…
2…
3!!
DING! DING! DING!
"Frostbite" by Parkway Drive kicks in over the sound system.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Austin Gale has done it! He has managed to progress into the Alpha Cup Tournament!
BRAD STOKES: Can’t you wait for Marshall Douglas, to say it?
NINA APPLEBAUM: You can’t be serious?
BRAD STOKES: That’s what he’s paid for, dammit!
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: Here is your winner, advancing to the second round of the Alpha Cup Tournament…. AUSTIN…. GALLLLLEEEEEEE!!
BRAD STOKES: I told you!
NINA APPLEBAUM: And there you have it! After one of the nights more brutal matches so far, we have our fourth competitor to advance in the Alpha Cup tournament!
BRAD STOKES: That one was teetering in both of those guys’ favor. Austin Gale may have the win this time, but Hunter Storms is bound to have the win the next time those two meet.
NINA APPLEBAUM: For now, one moves on, one does not.
“Street Fightin’ Man” by the Rolling Stones is kicking in the studio as the cameras center on Nate Hollis. The volume lowers.
NATE HOLLIS: And just like that, just as predicted, Hunter Storms and Austin Gale threw down and left it all out there on the ring.
HAL 9000: But, in the end, it was Austin Gale who managed to progress through the tournament.
NATE HOLLIS: It’s the same old song and dance, ‘9000. It’s by inches, not yards or miles that these victories are happening. Hunter Storms has no reason to regret that loss if he knows he truly gave it his all to win it, know what I’m saying? And Austin Gale can expect to keep winning if he knows he truly put his best effort into that match to collect that win. If you’re doing something right keep doing it and it’ll keep working. If something’s not working it might be time to stop the car and check under the hood to see what’s up.
HAL 9000: The vehicle could require simple maintenance, Nathan.
NATE HOLLIS: Sure, or a massive overhaul. I’m not saying that’s the case here for either of these two, but it’s something worth thinking about for anyone of these competitors, nah mean?
Coming up we find out how a debuting superstar fared against none other than one of the toughest men alive, Aokigahara Zombie. Right after this.
NATE HOLLIS: And just like that, just as predicted, Hunter Storms and Austin Gale threw down and left it all out there on the ring.
HAL 9000: But, in the end, it was Austin Gale who managed to progress through the tournament.
NATE HOLLIS: It’s the same old song and dance, ‘9000. It’s by inches, not yards or miles that these victories are happening. Hunter Storms has no reason to regret that loss if he knows he truly gave it his all to win it, know what I’m saying? And Austin Gale can expect to keep winning if he knows he truly put his best effort into that match to collect that win. If you’re doing something right keep doing it and it’ll keep working. If something’s not working it might be time to stop the car and check under the hood to see what’s up.
HAL 9000: The vehicle could require simple maintenance, Nathan.
NATE HOLLIS: Sure, or a massive overhaul. I’m not saying that’s the case here for either of these two, but it’s something worth thinking about for anyone of these competitors, nah mean?
Coming up we find out how a debuting superstar fared against none other than one of the toughest men alive, Aokigahara Zombie. Right after this.
Jerry is in the supermarket looking for something. He rounds a corner and enters the canned foods aisle. A frown on his face he looks down the long, straight aisle. He sees a stocker with a store-branded apron on. Jerry approaches.
JERRY: Excuse me, I’m looking for some sort of a canned pasta.
The stocker thinks a second then smiles.
GROCERY STOCKER: You’re thinking of Alphagetti. It’s great. Here it is.
The stocker plucks a can of Alphaghetti off the shelf and hands it to Jerry. Jerry frowns as he reads the label before shaking his head.
JERRY: mmmm… No, no. Not this. I’m trying to cut down on tomato-based sauces.
Jerry rubs his stomach mindfully and the Stocker can appreciate where he’s coming from. The Stocker nods.
GROCERY STOCKER: I see. You’re looking for Omegagetti.
The lights in the supermarket darken ominously. Jerry looks up confused and notices the Grocery Stocker now wears a low-hanging darkened hood. He outtretches an arm and points.
GROCERY STOCKER: It’s at the end of the aisle.
His voice is ghostly and deep, no more than a frightening whisper. Jerry turns and looks down the aisle where the stocker has pointed. Push-pull zoom as the aisle seems to elongate immensely.
GROCERY STOCKER: None may return…
The Grocery Stocker whispers hoarsely leaving Jerry unnerved as he starts walking.
JERRY: Excuse me, I’m looking for some sort of a canned pasta.
The stocker thinks a second then smiles.
GROCERY STOCKER: You’re thinking of Alphagetti. It’s great. Here it is.
The stocker plucks a can of Alphaghetti off the shelf and hands it to Jerry. Jerry frowns as he reads the label before shaking his head.
JERRY: mmmm… No, no. Not this. I’m trying to cut down on tomato-based sauces.
Jerry rubs his stomach mindfully and the Stocker can appreciate where he’s coming from. The Stocker nods.
GROCERY STOCKER: I see. You’re looking for Omegagetti.
The lights in the supermarket darken ominously. Jerry looks up confused and notices the Grocery Stocker now wears a low-hanging darkened hood. He outtretches an arm and points.
GROCERY STOCKER: It’s at the end of the aisle.
His voice is ghostly and deep, no more than a frightening whisper. Jerry turns and looks down the aisle where the stocker has pointed. Push-pull zoom as the aisle seems to elongate immensely.
GROCERY STOCKER: None may return…
The Grocery Stocker whispers hoarsely leaving Jerry unnerved as he starts walking.
Awesome choral orchestral music starts.
The lights flicker as though a storm has begun!
Jerry feels wind pick up all around him forcing him to grip on to the shelves of the aisle!
The singing is intense as Jerry feels snow swirling all around him.
Lightning strikes!
Thunder rolls!
The wind howls!
Fires rage and seas boil and waves crash against crags of rock that have seemingly sprung up all around him!
Jerry keeps walking as the aisle stretches out before him treachourously.
The wind is bearing down on him, turning his walk ever slower and more arduous!
But he can see it!
The end of the aisle!
Jerry reaches the end of the aisle and the wind and everything else dies down. Jerry has a beard of grey hair from his journey. He plucks the can off the shelf.
The lights flicker as though a storm has begun!
Jerry feels wind pick up all around him forcing him to grip on to the shelves of the aisle!
The singing is intense as Jerry feels snow swirling all around him.
Lightning strikes!
Thunder rolls!
The wind howls!
Fires rage and seas boil and waves crash against crags of rock that have seemingly sprung up all around him!
Jerry keeps walking as the aisle stretches out before him treachourously.
The wind is bearing down on him, turning his walk ever slower and more arduous!
But he can see it!
The end of the aisle!
Jerry reaches the end of the aisle and the wind and everything else dies down. Jerry has a beard of grey hair from his journey. He plucks the can off the shelf.
JERRY: Hmmmm. Omegaghetti. All right!
The supermarket returns to normal as Jerry smiles with satisfaction about his choice of purchase and heads off to the checkout.
The supermarket returns to normal as Jerry smiles with satisfaction about his choice of purchase and heads off to the checkout.
1st Round Alpha Cup Tournament
Aokigahara Zombie VS. Owen Salvo
Aokigahara Zombie stares down Owen Salvo in the ring as the crowd is pumped to watch this altercation unfold.
BRAD STOKES: I’m gonna let you in on a little secret here, Nina. You ready?
NINA APPLEBAUM: Okay, I’ll bite. What’s the secret?
BRAD STOKES: A-oak… I gara Zombie or whatever and I are the same person.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Then what’s he doing in the ring?
BRAD STOKES: Studio trickery. Green Screen. Don’t trust your eyes fans. I AM just that damn good.
Aoki Zombie steps out smugly from his ring corner and extends his arms outwards offering Owen Salvo a free shot. Owen Salvo looks to Ken, his manager, at ringside. Ken seems to be egging Owen on to hit Aoki or something, while Owen seems uncertain.
BRAD STOKES: Not sure what the problem is. It’s a free shot, Salvo. TAKE IT!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Newcomer Owen Salvo and his manager Ken at ringside seem to be having some sort of mild disagreement as to what approach to take here.
BRAD STOKES: That’s excellent. I’d be uncertain, too, when it came to fighting me.
NINA APPLEBAUM: You are NOT the Aokigahara Zombie, Bradley.
BRAD STOKES: Then why does he look like me?
Owen steps to Zombie with rookie uncertainty intact as Zombie grins from ear to ear, openly inviting Owen to take the first free shot. Owen looks once more to his manager Ken who is urging Owen to take a swing… The crowd is on its feet waiting expectantly before Salvo takes a strike that Zombie shrugs off rather easily with his grin remaining, his arms remaining outstretched still inviting Owen to take another swing!
NINA APPLEBAUM: The Aokigahara Zombie, ladies and gentleman, is famed for his high level of pain tolerance.
BRAD STOKES: What are those, love taps from Owen Salvo? The only reason Zombie is so tough is cause he’s yet to face anyone tougher than him, and right now Owen Salvo isn’t exactly making a case for that someone being him.
Salvo looks wearily to Ken who is shaking his head and instructing Owen to REALLY hit Zombie, or something involving something in Ken’s pocket or something.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Now what do you suppose manager Ken is miming there, Bradley?
BRAD STOKES: Are they here? Please don’t use that word, you might summon them.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Who, the French Mi—
BRAD STOKES: Uttttt uttt utt. Not another word. Let’s settle for the clowns we have in the ring.
Salvo shakes his head at Ken before turning back to the still grinning Aokigahara Zombie. The crowd is loud and obnoxious just as Owen Salvo surprises Zombie with a sudden snapmare takedown followed by a sharp kick to the back!
BRAD STOKES: That’s more like it!
Suddenly validated, Salvo starts to move fast and expertly as he slams another hard kick into Zombie’s spine keeping Zombie wincing. And another, and another before Owen Salvo dives in and locks on a dragon sleeper onto the Zombie!
NINA APPLEBAUM: A momentary flash of rookie nerves there by Owen Salvo seems to have given way to a rather proficient wrestler!
BRAD STOKES: I’m reserving judgment. This kid’s got a long way to go before his arm’s going to be raised.
Salvo has the sleeper locked on tight, really wrenching down hard on Zombie’s spine. Salvo’s eyes widen as Zombie starts to bridge upward inspite of the pain!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Unbelievable!
Salvo keeps a hold of Zombie as Zombie is back to his feet, bent backwards in the dragon sleeper! Salvo drops an elbow down hard into Zombie’s chest, and another, and another before SLAMMING Zombie over in an inverted suplex!
BRAD STOKES: I feel like Zombie is the perfect possum. You think anything hurts him?
NINA APPLEBAUM: He may feel pain, but so far nothing seems to keep him down for long.
Salvo is up quickly and dropping an elbow into Zombie’s spine then quickly wrenching back on Zombie’s neck with a crossface!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Salvo is chaining moves together like a pro in there!
BRAD STOKES: It’s cute. He thinks he’s a real wrestler!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Current match status indicates, Bradley, he IS a real wrestler!
Zombie inexplicably powers up to all fours as Salvo is wide-eyed before Zombie slams an elbow hard back into Salvo’s mid section that causes the rookie to wince but maintain the crossface in spite of Zombie’s uncanny resistance. Another elbow, and another elbow finally coaxes Salvo to let go and scramble to his feet as Zombie moves up to his feet and roll his neck with an approving grin and nod of his head at Salvo followed by a thumbs up before once more opening his arms and inviting Salvo to come at him.
BRAD STOKES: I love this guy.
Salvo grits his teeth and charges in slamming a hard kick to Zombie’s mid section and lines him up for a suplex clutch, but once there, Zombie surprises Salvo by blocking the suplex attempt and powering Salvo up and over onto his back! Zombie drops a hard elbow into Salvo’s neck and goes for a cover!
1!
Zombie lifts out of the cover before the ref can continue!
NINA APPLEBAUM: It must be a disarming experience to face the Zombie. You never know whether he’s toying with you and luring you into some sort of trap like he did there.
BRAD STOKES: The only thing you can know for sure in a match with the Aoki is he’s going to take you to your limit.
Zombie grips Salvo by the head and drags him to his feet, straightens him up to make gloating eye contact before slamming a backhanded chop into Salvo’s chest!
BRAD STOKES: You can feel those chops five rows up!
Another chop straightens Salvo up again as the Zombie grips Salvo up for a sidewalk slam and goes for another cover!
1!
NINA APPLEBAUM: And AGAIN Zombie lets up from the cover before the official can make it.
BRAD STOKES: Isn’t he great? This isn’t about the win, this is about teaching Salvo the ropes in the most difficult way he possibly can. School of hard knocks style!
Zombie once more clamors to his feet, clutching Salvo on his way up, giving Salvo’s manager Ken the ol’ I’m watching you taunt before slamming Salvo down hard with a sitout jawbreaker. And Zombie isn’t done, he grips Salvo once more up to his feet and WHIPS Salvo into the ropes, on the rebound he DROPS Salvo down with a drop toe hold!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Another cover by Zombie, this could do it if—
ONE—
Zombie doesn’t even let the one count happen before he lifts off the cover and looks out giddily into the crowd.
BRAD STOKES: I don’t think anyone knows what they’re dealing with with this guy. If your instinct says he’s out there for a fair fight, the odds are good he’s out there to brawl. Simple as that.
Zombie, rams a hard elbow into Salvo’s chest, then another and another before gripping him to his feet and once more whipping Owen Salvo to the ropes and preparing for the inevitable return only to be surprised as Owen Salvo takes control of his momentum and ducks a devastating clothesline from Zombie! On the way back Zombie turns and is SLAMMED by a disaster kick by Owen Salvo!
BRAD STOKES: DAAAAAMN!
Zombie is stunned backwards as Owen Salvo, obviously winded from Zombie’s onslaught has to shrug off the discomfort and pain to slam a spinning kick into Zombie’s chest that drops Zombie down to his knees! Buoyed by the sudden burst of energy from the crowd, and his chain of moves connecting, Salvo backs up and SLAMS a superkick into Zombie that folds him backwards painfully!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Good God in heaven Owen Salvo just gave the Zombie EXACTLY what he’s been dishing out to Owen Salvo!
Owen staggers to the ropes to catch his breath where Ken is offering him all sorts of advice that Owen seems reluctant to heed as Zombie, sits up and looks surprised and approving of Owen Salvo.
BRAD STOKES: Acknowledgement there from the Zombie, and this capacity crowd that… all right, I was wrong, Owen Salvo may just be the real deal!
Zombie climbs to his feet with a stagger, noticing a streak of blood from his lip from those hard kicks from Salvo as Salvo dismisses Ken and turns back once more to face Aoki Zombie who rushes him and slams a knee right into Owen’s torso and knocks him back hard into the corner. Zombie gives a smirking point out to Ken at ringside before slamming a series of stiff kicks into Owen’s spine that drops Owen painfully to his knees. Zombie gives another a hard kick right into Owen’s spine to plant him face first into the corner.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Brutality here from Zombie.
BRAD STOKES: Don’t you love it? I thought I had my fill when Austin Gale nearly killed Hunter Storms, but now we’re getting even more thanks to my doppelganger in the ring!
Zombie grins and watches Ken lean onto the ring apron and pluck something from Owen Salvo.
BRAD STOKES: Hey, now. What’s that tall guy doing?!
Owen is out of it in the corner as Ken seems to be making a fist. Zombie peeks at him over the ropes and points him out with glee, and the brass knuckles Ken is now wielding on his knuckles.
NINA APPLEBAUM: This is definitely not a good way for Owen Salvo’s manager to get involved here.
BRAD STOKES: He’ll probably put on a much better fight than Salvo has, I reckon.
Zombie keeps his grin from ear to ear, once more opening himself up to a free shot, daring Ken to try him. Ken hops onto the ring apron and immediately Theo Refano is warning him away!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Ken definitely doesn’t want to do that! This will mean an immediate disqualification for Owen Salvo!
Zombie moves closer to Ken in an act of sheer defiance he extends his chin and grins dumbly as Ken winds up, only for Owen Salvo to shift in behind Zombie, apparently not seeing Ken’s distraction and rolls Zombie into a schoolboy pin!
BRAD STOKES: WHAT?!
Ken hops off the apron before Salvo can notice him.
1…
2..
3!!!
BRAD STOKES: OF all the…
The Offspring's "The Kids Aren't Alright" starts up.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Ken may have just HANDED Owen Salvo that win!
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: Here is your winner… advancing to the second round of the Alpha Cup Tournament…. OWEN…. SALVOOOOOOOO!
Owen Salvo can’t believe his luck as he jumps to his feet to celebrate. Theo Refano checks on a begrudging Zombie who climbs to his feet, wipes his jaw and glares at Ken and Owen Salvo.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Some bad blood there…
BRAD STOKES: Do you honestly blame the Zombie for that?
NINA APPLEBAUM: I honestly can’t. But, Owen Salvo did not do that on purpose.
BRAD STOKES: Of course he didn’t! His manager won him that match!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Regardless of how it came, it is a win, and Owen Salvo makes his way into the second round of the Alpha Cup Tournament.
BRAD STOKES: He better have a whole bag of tricks moving forward beyond the classic Manager Winning Matches for Him ploy.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Time will tell, Bradley.
“Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow” by the Shirelles is bopping and Nate Hollis is shifting his hips and grooving on the music before the volume lowers as he eyes the camera.
NATE HOLLIS: Awwwww yeaaa! It’s matches like that that make you both angry and excited all at once. Aokigahara Zombie is undoubtedly one of the most feared men in the AWE and beyond. Fighting is what this man does in his SLEEP, ‘9000, and right there was a prime example of the Zombie in his office.
HAL 9000: And yet he failed to secure a victory.
NATE HOLLIS: That’s right. I don’t think anyone’s going to take an inch away from Owen Salvo right there, especially not the Zombie. Owen Salvo may be a rookie but he handled himself like an old pro in that ring right there. At the end of the day, though, when you’ve got someone in your corner who may not entirely be in ‘in your corner’, there’s going to be some disagreements.
HAL 9000: It remains to be seen whether Ken truly cost Aokigahara Zombie the match, Nathan.
NATE HOLLIS: Hard to argue against it, ‘9000. Either way you slice it, Owen Salvo is moving forward, and Aokigahara Zombie lives to fight another day, just in another way. And slowly but surely the Alpha Cup second round shapes up. Coming up we got two heavy hitters set to square off. S.O.B. and Aaron Pace.
HAL 9000: Are you still currently feuding with S.O.B., Nathan?
NATE HOLLIS: Nah, dawg. I was never feuding with that man. He’s just an angry… well, an angry S.O.B. looking for a fight. And tonight he has one against newcomer Aaron Pace who recently signed on the dotted line to the AWE. I ain’t gonna call any shots on who should, or shouldn’t win this, I am going to say that this one is definitely a match. Check it out right here, folks.
BRAD STOKES: I’m gonna let you in on a little secret here, Nina. You ready?
NINA APPLEBAUM: Okay, I’ll bite. What’s the secret?
BRAD STOKES: A-oak… I gara Zombie or whatever and I are the same person.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Then what’s he doing in the ring?
BRAD STOKES: Studio trickery. Green Screen. Don’t trust your eyes fans. I AM just that damn good.
DING! DING! DING!
Aoki Zombie steps out smugly from his ring corner and extends his arms outwards offering Owen Salvo a free shot. Owen Salvo looks to Ken, his manager, at ringside. Ken seems to be egging Owen on to hit Aoki or something, while Owen seems uncertain.
BRAD STOKES: Not sure what the problem is. It’s a free shot, Salvo. TAKE IT!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Newcomer Owen Salvo and his manager Ken at ringside seem to be having some sort of mild disagreement as to what approach to take here.
BRAD STOKES: That’s excellent. I’d be uncertain, too, when it came to fighting me.
NINA APPLEBAUM: You are NOT the Aokigahara Zombie, Bradley.
BRAD STOKES: Then why does he look like me?
Owen steps to Zombie with rookie uncertainty intact as Zombie grins from ear to ear, openly inviting Owen to take the first free shot. Owen looks once more to his manager Ken who is urging Owen to take a swing… The crowd is on its feet waiting expectantly before Salvo takes a strike that Zombie shrugs off rather easily with his grin remaining, his arms remaining outstretched still inviting Owen to take another swing!
NINA APPLEBAUM: The Aokigahara Zombie, ladies and gentleman, is famed for his high level of pain tolerance.
BRAD STOKES: What are those, love taps from Owen Salvo? The only reason Zombie is so tough is cause he’s yet to face anyone tougher than him, and right now Owen Salvo isn’t exactly making a case for that someone being him.
Salvo looks wearily to Ken who is shaking his head and instructing Owen to REALLY hit Zombie, or something involving something in Ken’s pocket or something.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Now what do you suppose manager Ken is miming there, Bradley?
BRAD STOKES: Are they here? Please don’t use that word, you might summon them.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Who, the French Mi—
BRAD STOKES: Uttttt uttt utt. Not another word. Let’s settle for the clowns we have in the ring.
Salvo shakes his head at Ken before turning back to the still grinning Aokigahara Zombie. The crowd is loud and obnoxious just as Owen Salvo surprises Zombie with a sudden snapmare takedown followed by a sharp kick to the back!
BRAD STOKES: That’s more like it!
Suddenly validated, Salvo starts to move fast and expertly as he slams another hard kick into Zombie’s spine keeping Zombie wincing. And another, and another before Owen Salvo dives in and locks on a dragon sleeper onto the Zombie!
NINA APPLEBAUM: A momentary flash of rookie nerves there by Owen Salvo seems to have given way to a rather proficient wrestler!
BRAD STOKES: I’m reserving judgment. This kid’s got a long way to go before his arm’s going to be raised.
Salvo has the sleeper locked on tight, really wrenching down hard on Zombie’s spine. Salvo’s eyes widen as Zombie starts to bridge upward inspite of the pain!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Unbelievable!
Salvo keeps a hold of Zombie as Zombie is back to his feet, bent backwards in the dragon sleeper! Salvo drops an elbow down hard into Zombie’s chest, and another, and another before SLAMMING Zombie over in an inverted suplex!
BRAD STOKES: I feel like Zombie is the perfect possum. You think anything hurts him?
NINA APPLEBAUM: He may feel pain, but so far nothing seems to keep him down for long.
Salvo is up quickly and dropping an elbow into Zombie’s spine then quickly wrenching back on Zombie’s neck with a crossface!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Salvo is chaining moves together like a pro in there!
BRAD STOKES: It’s cute. He thinks he’s a real wrestler!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Current match status indicates, Bradley, he IS a real wrestler!
Zombie inexplicably powers up to all fours as Salvo is wide-eyed before Zombie slams an elbow hard back into Salvo’s mid section that causes the rookie to wince but maintain the crossface in spite of Zombie’s uncanny resistance. Another elbow, and another elbow finally coaxes Salvo to let go and scramble to his feet as Zombie moves up to his feet and roll his neck with an approving grin and nod of his head at Salvo followed by a thumbs up before once more opening his arms and inviting Salvo to come at him.
BRAD STOKES: I love this guy.
Salvo grits his teeth and charges in slamming a hard kick to Zombie’s mid section and lines him up for a suplex clutch, but once there, Zombie surprises Salvo by blocking the suplex attempt and powering Salvo up and over onto his back! Zombie drops a hard elbow into Salvo’s neck and goes for a cover!
1!
Zombie lifts out of the cover before the ref can continue!
NINA APPLEBAUM: It must be a disarming experience to face the Zombie. You never know whether he’s toying with you and luring you into some sort of trap like he did there.
BRAD STOKES: The only thing you can know for sure in a match with the Aoki is he’s going to take you to your limit.
Zombie grips Salvo by the head and drags him to his feet, straightens him up to make gloating eye contact before slamming a backhanded chop into Salvo’s chest!
BRAD STOKES: You can feel those chops five rows up!
Another chop straightens Salvo up again as the Zombie grips Salvo up for a sidewalk slam and goes for another cover!
1!
NINA APPLEBAUM: And AGAIN Zombie lets up from the cover before the official can make it.
BRAD STOKES: Isn’t he great? This isn’t about the win, this is about teaching Salvo the ropes in the most difficult way he possibly can. School of hard knocks style!
Zombie once more clamors to his feet, clutching Salvo on his way up, giving Salvo’s manager Ken the ol’ I’m watching you taunt before slamming Salvo down hard with a sitout jawbreaker. And Zombie isn’t done, he grips Salvo once more up to his feet and WHIPS Salvo into the ropes, on the rebound he DROPS Salvo down with a drop toe hold!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Another cover by Zombie, this could do it if—
ONE—
Zombie doesn’t even let the one count happen before he lifts off the cover and looks out giddily into the crowd.
BRAD STOKES: I don’t think anyone knows what they’re dealing with with this guy. If your instinct says he’s out there for a fair fight, the odds are good he’s out there to brawl. Simple as that.
Zombie, rams a hard elbow into Salvo’s chest, then another and another before gripping him to his feet and once more whipping Owen Salvo to the ropes and preparing for the inevitable return only to be surprised as Owen Salvo takes control of his momentum and ducks a devastating clothesline from Zombie! On the way back Zombie turns and is SLAMMED by a disaster kick by Owen Salvo!
BRAD STOKES: DAAAAAMN!
Zombie is stunned backwards as Owen Salvo, obviously winded from Zombie’s onslaught has to shrug off the discomfort and pain to slam a spinning kick into Zombie’s chest that drops Zombie down to his knees! Buoyed by the sudden burst of energy from the crowd, and his chain of moves connecting, Salvo backs up and SLAMS a superkick into Zombie that folds him backwards painfully!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Good God in heaven Owen Salvo just gave the Zombie EXACTLY what he’s been dishing out to Owen Salvo!
Owen staggers to the ropes to catch his breath where Ken is offering him all sorts of advice that Owen seems reluctant to heed as Zombie, sits up and looks surprised and approving of Owen Salvo.
BRAD STOKES: Acknowledgement there from the Zombie, and this capacity crowd that… all right, I was wrong, Owen Salvo may just be the real deal!
Zombie climbs to his feet with a stagger, noticing a streak of blood from his lip from those hard kicks from Salvo as Salvo dismisses Ken and turns back once more to face Aoki Zombie who rushes him and slams a knee right into Owen’s torso and knocks him back hard into the corner. Zombie gives a smirking point out to Ken at ringside before slamming a series of stiff kicks into Owen’s spine that drops Owen painfully to his knees. Zombie gives another a hard kick right into Owen’s spine to plant him face first into the corner.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Brutality here from Zombie.
BRAD STOKES: Don’t you love it? I thought I had my fill when Austin Gale nearly killed Hunter Storms, but now we’re getting even more thanks to my doppelganger in the ring!
Zombie grins and watches Ken lean onto the ring apron and pluck something from Owen Salvo.
BRAD STOKES: Hey, now. What’s that tall guy doing?!
Owen is out of it in the corner as Ken seems to be making a fist. Zombie peeks at him over the ropes and points him out with glee, and the brass knuckles Ken is now wielding on his knuckles.
NINA APPLEBAUM: This is definitely not a good way for Owen Salvo’s manager to get involved here.
BRAD STOKES: He’ll probably put on a much better fight than Salvo has, I reckon.
Zombie keeps his grin from ear to ear, once more opening himself up to a free shot, daring Ken to try him. Ken hops onto the ring apron and immediately Theo Refano is warning him away!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Ken definitely doesn’t want to do that! This will mean an immediate disqualification for Owen Salvo!
Zombie moves closer to Ken in an act of sheer defiance he extends his chin and grins dumbly as Ken winds up, only for Owen Salvo to shift in behind Zombie, apparently not seeing Ken’s distraction and rolls Zombie into a schoolboy pin!
BRAD STOKES: WHAT?!
Ken hops off the apron before Salvo can notice him.
1…
2..
3!!!
BRAD STOKES: OF all the…
DING! DING! DING!
The Offspring's "The Kids Aren't Alright" starts up.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Ken may have just HANDED Owen Salvo that win!
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: Here is your winner… advancing to the second round of the Alpha Cup Tournament…. OWEN…. SALVOOOOOOOO!
Owen Salvo can’t believe his luck as he jumps to his feet to celebrate. Theo Refano checks on a begrudging Zombie who climbs to his feet, wipes his jaw and glares at Ken and Owen Salvo.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Some bad blood there…
BRAD STOKES: Do you honestly blame the Zombie for that?
NINA APPLEBAUM: I honestly can’t. But, Owen Salvo did not do that on purpose.
BRAD STOKES: Of course he didn’t! His manager won him that match!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Regardless of how it came, it is a win, and Owen Salvo makes his way into the second round of the Alpha Cup Tournament.
BRAD STOKES: He better have a whole bag of tricks moving forward beyond the classic Manager Winning Matches for Him ploy.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Time will tell, Bradley.
NATE HOLLIS: Awwwww yeaaa! It’s matches like that that make you both angry and excited all at once. Aokigahara Zombie is undoubtedly one of the most feared men in the AWE and beyond. Fighting is what this man does in his SLEEP, ‘9000, and right there was a prime example of the Zombie in his office.
HAL 9000: And yet he failed to secure a victory.
NATE HOLLIS: That’s right. I don’t think anyone’s going to take an inch away from Owen Salvo right there, especially not the Zombie. Owen Salvo may be a rookie but he handled himself like an old pro in that ring right there. At the end of the day, though, when you’ve got someone in your corner who may not entirely be in ‘in your corner’, there’s going to be some disagreements.
HAL 9000: It remains to be seen whether Ken truly cost Aokigahara Zombie the match, Nathan.
NATE HOLLIS: Hard to argue against it, ‘9000. Either way you slice it, Owen Salvo is moving forward, and Aokigahara Zombie lives to fight another day, just in another way. And slowly but surely the Alpha Cup second round shapes up. Coming up we got two heavy hitters set to square off. S.O.B. and Aaron Pace.
HAL 9000: Are you still currently feuding with S.O.B., Nathan?
NATE HOLLIS: Nah, dawg. I was never feuding with that man. He’s just an angry… well, an angry S.O.B. looking for a fight. And tonight he has one against newcomer Aaron Pace who recently signed on the dotted line to the AWE. I ain’t gonna call any shots on who should, or shouldn’t win this, I am going to say that this one is definitely a match. Check it out right here, folks.
1st Round Alpha Cup Tournament
Aaron Pace VS. S.O.B.
BRAD STOKES: And right off the hop I want to punch this Aaron Pace, kid.
Aaron cockily bounces away from an attempted S.O.B. lockup that has S.O.B. glaring at Pace.
NINA APPLEBAUM: You may not be the first to want to do so, Bradley.
BRAD STOKES: Or the last at this rate.
S.O.B. stalks Aaron before aiming for another tie-up that Aaron avoids rather deftly, delivering a toying kick to S.O.B.’s back as he evades S.O.B. attempts at a lock-up.
NINA APPLEBAUM: He’s going to make S.O.B. mad.
BRAD STOKES: He’s always mad. There’s no off switch with this guy.
S.O.B. charges once more and feints a lock-up that Aaron falls for only to get rocked by a hard right first from S.O.B! And another that rocks Aaron into the corner!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Was only a matter of time before S.O.B. finally caught up to Aaron Pace!
BRAD STOKES: That’s not funny, Nina.
NINA APPLEBAUM: What?
BRAD STOKES: You heard me. Don’t go making “pace” jokes without my consent. That’s a form of abuse.
S.O.B. sends shot after shot at Aaron before Aaron grabs one, swings under S.O.B. and locks him into a pumphandle clutch and then SLAMS S.O.B. down hard into the canvas!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Strong display of force there by Aaron Pace!!
BRAD STOKES: And the cover!
1…
NINA APPLEBAUM: Kickout by S.O.B.
S.O.B. is up to a seat and shaking some of the cobwebs loose from that slam as Aaron climbs to his feet, moves in behind S.O.B. and drives down hard rights and lefts into S.O.B.’s head before whipping S.O.B. up to his feet and WHIPPING S.O.B. for the ropes!
BRAD STOKES: I don’t think S.O.B.’s encountered an equally opposing amount of power like Aaron Pace before!
On the rebound Aaron Pace swings a clothesline that S.O.B ducks, turns and slams a kick into Aaron’s midsection to double him over then DROPS Aaron down with a sitout facebuster! Before Aaron can rise up S.O.B. is down on him fastening on a rear-naked choke!
NINA APPLEBAUM: S.O.B. could have him here! Center of the ring with no where to go!
Aaron is sending back elbows at S.O.B but they don’t seem to be doing much more than glancing off S.O.B.’s side. S.O.B. locks on the choke tighter and tighter as the fans are on their feet!
BRAD STOKES: Gonna be a damn short debut for Aaron Pace!!
S.O.B. is really tightening his grip as Aaron seems to be weakening!
NINA APPLEBAUM: S.O.B. is a large man, and with that weight itself bearing down on Aaron, to say nothing of the constriction at the throat, it’s little wonder Aaron’s—
Before Nina can finish her sentence Aaron has powered up to all fours as S.O.B. applies further pressure into the chokehold!
BRAD STOKES: By the mother of Burchill Aaron Pace is actually getting up!
Aaron struggles to his knees as S.O.B. has the choke applied but his grip is steadily loosening. Aaron blasts an elbow back into S.O.B that weakens his grip further before Aaron surprises S.O.B into a snapmare driver!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Into the pin!!
1…
TW—
BRAD STOKES: Kickout by S.O.B! Hard to believe Aaron Pace willed his way out of the chokehold.
NINA APPLEBAUM: And yet he did!
Aaron, determined, raises to his feet and slams an elbow down hard into S.O.B. before he can sit up. Aaron grips S.O.B up to his feet and once more sends him whipping for the ropes! On the rebound Aaron spins S.O.B into a powerslam!
BRAD STOKES: Nicely done there, with authority too!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Aaron Pace may just be a force to be reckoned with in that ring right now!
Aaron is up and lays a brutal set of stomps down into S.O.B. before he shifts his attention out into the crowd with a cocky smirk.
BRAD STOKES: Here we go…
NINA APPLEBAUM: He’s anything but humble it would seem.
Aaron points out to one lady in the crowd and gives her an enticing wink shortly before S.O.B. manages behind him and rolls Aaron up into a pin!
BRAD STOKES: Better keep his eyes on the game or---
1…
2…
THR—
NINA APPLEBAUM: Kickout by Aaron Pace!
BRAD STOKES: He did pick one of the more attractive femininas in the crowd, I’ll give him that. But watch the road, kid!
S.O.B. is up to his feet and stomping a mudhole into Aaron Pace before heaving him to his feet and once more laying into him with a series of kicks and punches that staggers Aaron Pace before promptly taking Aaron down with an arm drag into an armbar submission!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Skilled takedown by S.O.B!
BRAD STOKES: But Aaron Pace is right near the ropes!
A ropebreak later and S.O.B. is climbing to his feet at the same time as Aaron Pace. S.O.B. charges him for a clothesline Aaron slips under and SLAMS S.O.B. backwards with an STO Backbreaker!
BRAD STOKES: Is that… where the hell did he get the whistle from!?
Aaron is blowing a whistle into S.O.B.’s ear as he repeats the STO backbreaker!
NINA APPLEBAUM: I think he had it the whole time…
BRAD STOKES: Seriously!
Another STO Backbreaker followed by a shrill blow of the whistle before Aaron unceremoniously dumps S.O.B. and parades around the ring proudly. Theo Refano is urging him to surrender the whistle to which Aaron seems cockily reluctant to do.
BRAD STOKES: Well, that’s another one off the bucket list, Nina.
Aaron’s smarmy grin is surprised suddenly as S.O.B. is up to his feet and upon him in a hurry slamming a hard fist into Aaron’s midsection, then another before Aaron is able to block a blow, spin S.O.B. quickly and shift gears propping S.O.B up into a Gory Special!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Nice turnaround by Aaron Pace!!
Aaron SLAMS S.O.B. quickly into a reverse STO!
BRAD STOKES: The Pacemaker!!
Aaron goes for the cover!
1…
2…
3!!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Quick wrap-up there by Aaron Pace!
BRAD STOKES: Definitely a debut to be weary of for everyone in the back. Aaron Pace just beat one of the tougher members of the Resilience Division.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Not that it was easy.
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: Here is your winner! Advancing to the second round of the Alpha Cup Tournament…. AAROOOOOON…. PACE!
The crowd pops as Aaron poses cockily while "More Than You Can Chew" by Corroded plays him on.
BRAD STOKES: I think everyone thought S.O.B. was gonna steamroll that match, but it’s better luck next time instead!
NINA APPLEBAUM: There’s room to recover for S.O.B. For Aaron Pace, we’ll just see how deep her can make in the Alpha Cup!
BRAD STOKES: Still wanna know where that damn whistle came from.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Perhaps we’ll find out in later rounds, Bradley.
BRAD STOKES: That’s your damn answer to everything, Nina.
Aaron cockily bounces away from an attempted S.O.B. lockup that has S.O.B. glaring at Pace.
NINA APPLEBAUM: You may not be the first to want to do so, Bradley.
BRAD STOKES: Or the last at this rate.
S.O.B. stalks Aaron before aiming for another tie-up that Aaron avoids rather deftly, delivering a toying kick to S.O.B.’s back as he evades S.O.B. attempts at a lock-up.
NINA APPLEBAUM: He’s going to make S.O.B. mad.
BRAD STOKES: He’s always mad. There’s no off switch with this guy.
S.O.B. charges once more and feints a lock-up that Aaron falls for only to get rocked by a hard right first from S.O.B! And another that rocks Aaron into the corner!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Was only a matter of time before S.O.B. finally caught up to Aaron Pace!
BRAD STOKES: That’s not funny, Nina.
NINA APPLEBAUM: What?
BRAD STOKES: You heard me. Don’t go making “pace” jokes without my consent. That’s a form of abuse.
S.O.B. sends shot after shot at Aaron before Aaron grabs one, swings under S.O.B. and locks him into a pumphandle clutch and then SLAMS S.O.B. down hard into the canvas!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Strong display of force there by Aaron Pace!!
BRAD STOKES: And the cover!
1…
NINA APPLEBAUM: Kickout by S.O.B.
S.O.B. is up to a seat and shaking some of the cobwebs loose from that slam as Aaron climbs to his feet, moves in behind S.O.B. and drives down hard rights and lefts into S.O.B.’s head before whipping S.O.B. up to his feet and WHIPPING S.O.B. for the ropes!
BRAD STOKES: I don’t think S.O.B.’s encountered an equally opposing amount of power like Aaron Pace before!
On the rebound Aaron Pace swings a clothesline that S.O.B ducks, turns and slams a kick into Aaron’s midsection to double him over then DROPS Aaron down with a sitout facebuster! Before Aaron can rise up S.O.B. is down on him fastening on a rear-naked choke!
NINA APPLEBAUM: S.O.B. could have him here! Center of the ring with no where to go!
Aaron is sending back elbows at S.O.B but they don’t seem to be doing much more than glancing off S.O.B.’s side. S.O.B. locks on the choke tighter and tighter as the fans are on their feet!
BRAD STOKES: Gonna be a damn short debut for Aaron Pace!!
S.O.B. is really tightening his grip as Aaron seems to be weakening!
NINA APPLEBAUM: S.O.B. is a large man, and with that weight itself bearing down on Aaron, to say nothing of the constriction at the throat, it’s little wonder Aaron’s—
Before Nina can finish her sentence Aaron has powered up to all fours as S.O.B. applies further pressure into the chokehold!
BRAD STOKES: By the mother of Burchill Aaron Pace is actually getting up!
Aaron struggles to his knees as S.O.B. has the choke applied but his grip is steadily loosening. Aaron blasts an elbow back into S.O.B that weakens his grip further before Aaron surprises S.O.B into a snapmare driver!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Into the pin!!
1…
TW—
BRAD STOKES: Kickout by S.O.B! Hard to believe Aaron Pace willed his way out of the chokehold.
NINA APPLEBAUM: And yet he did!
Aaron, determined, raises to his feet and slams an elbow down hard into S.O.B. before he can sit up. Aaron grips S.O.B up to his feet and once more sends him whipping for the ropes! On the rebound Aaron spins S.O.B into a powerslam!
BRAD STOKES: Nicely done there, with authority too!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Aaron Pace may just be a force to be reckoned with in that ring right now!
Aaron is up and lays a brutal set of stomps down into S.O.B. before he shifts his attention out into the crowd with a cocky smirk.
BRAD STOKES: Here we go…
NINA APPLEBAUM: He’s anything but humble it would seem.
Aaron points out to one lady in the crowd and gives her an enticing wink shortly before S.O.B. manages behind him and rolls Aaron up into a pin!
BRAD STOKES: Better keep his eyes on the game or---
1…
2…
THR—
NINA APPLEBAUM: Kickout by Aaron Pace!
BRAD STOKES: He did pick one of the more attractive femininas in the crowd, I’ll give him that. But watch the road, kid!
S.O.B. is up to his feet and stomping a mudhole into Aaron Pace before heaving him to his feet and once more laying into him with a series of kicks and punches that staggers Aaron Pace before promptly taking Aaron down with an arm drag into an armbar submission!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Skilled takedown by S.O.B!
BRAD STOKES: But Aaron Pace is right near the ropes!
A ropebreak later and S.O.B. is climbing to his feet at the same time as Aaron Pace. S.O.B. charges him for a clothesline Aaron slips under and SLAMS S.O.B. backwards with an STO Backbreaker!
BRAD STOKES: Is that… where the hell did he get the whistle from!?
Aaron is blowing a whistle into S.O.B.’s ear as he repeats the STO backbreaker!
NINA APPLEBAUM: I think he had it the whole time…
BRAD STOKES: Seriously!
Another STO Backbreaker followed by a shrill blow of the whistle before Aaron unceremoniously dumps S.O.B. and parades around the ring proudly. Theo Refano is urging him to surrender the whistle to which Aaron seems cockily reluctant to do.
BRAD STOKES: Well, that’s another one off the bucket list, Nina.
Aaron’s smarmy grin is surprised suddenly as S.O.B. is up to his feet and upon him in a hurry slamming a hard fist into Aaron’s midsection, then another before Aaron is able to block a blow, spin S.O.B. quickly and shift gears propping S.O.B up into a Gory Special!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Nice turnaround by Aaron Pace!!
Aaron SLAMS S.O.B. quickly into a reverse STO!
BRAD STOKES: The Pacemaker!!
Aaron goes for the cover!
1…
2…
3!!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Quick wrap-up there by Aaron Pace!
DING! DING! DING!
BRAD STOKES: Definitely a debut to be weary of for everyone in the back. Aaron Pace just beat one of the tougher members of the Resilience Division.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Not that it was easy.
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: Here is your winner! Advancing to the second round of the Alpha Cup Tournament…. AAROOOOOON…. PACE!
The crowd pops as Aaron poses cockily while "More Than You Can Chew" by Corroded plays him on.
BRAD STOKES: I think everyone thought S.O.B. was gonna steamroll that match, but it’s better luck next time instead!
NINA APPLEBAUM: There’s room to recover for S.O.B. For Aaron Pace, we’ll just see how deep her can make in the Alpha Cup!
BRAD STOKES: Still wanna know where that damn whistle came from.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Perhaps we’ll find out in later rounds, Bradley.
BRAD STOKES: That’s your damn answer to everything, Nina.
Caroline O’Hara Burchill steps from her locker room to make her way to the ring when she is met by none other than Thirteen. Caroline’s expression darkens.
CAROLINE O’HARA BURCHILL: What do you want?
Thirteen sheepishly raises her hands innocently, a metaphorical white flag to the woman she seemingly got on the wrong side of from the beginning and now hopes to bury the hatchet.
THIRTEEN: Hey, look, I know we got off on the wrong foot, and for that I’m sorry.
CAROLINE O’HARA BURCHILL: You should be.
THIRTEEN: I am! Very sorry! I can’t change what happened, but I can make amends for it. I’m here to offer you what could be a great opportunity.
CAROLINE O’HARA BURCHILL: Oh yeah? And what’s that?
THIRTEEN: Well, it’s something pretty big. Might decide the fate of the AWE, really. It comes down to the fact I’d like you to represent me in a match for—
CAROLINE O’HARA BURCHILL: Me… represent… you?
Thirteen nervously shifts from one leg to the other as Caroline seems to be stiffening angrily by the second.
THIRTEEN: Yeah, I figured, what better way to—
CAROLINE O’HARA BURCHILL: You listen to me, “Unlucky” Thirteen. I came here to set my career back on track, and since MEETING you my wrestling career has nosedived.
THIRTEEN: Yeah, but—
Caroline steps in to Thirteen with a hiss of bitterness in her words.
CAROLINE O’HARA BURCHILL: Frankly… rather than asking me to represent you, you should be thankful I haven’t thrown you off a cliff for all you’ve already done to me. I’ve been on the worst unlucky streak in recent memory because of you.
THIRTEEN: Whoa, that’s a little harsh—
CAROLINE O’HARA BURCHILL: I always get even. Understand? You better just watch your back.
Caroline glares as she strides past Thirteen towards her upcoming match. Those standing backstage look to Thirteen who eyes around nervously at the small crowd of people who have just witnessed the altercation.
THIRTEEN: Okay, move along, nothing to see here people.
CAROLINE O’HARA BURCHILL: What do you want?
Thirteen sheepishly raises her hands innocently, a metaphorical white flag to the woman she seemingly got on the wrong side of from the beginning and now hopes to bury the hatchet.
THIRTEEN: Hey, look, I know we got off on the wrong foot, and for that I’m sorry.
CAROLINE O’HARA BURCHILL: You should be.
THIRTEEN: I am! Very sorry! I can’t change what happened, but I can make amends for it. I’m here to offer you what could be a great opportunity.
CAROLINE O’HARA BURCHILL: Oh yeah? And what’s that?
THIRTEEN: Well, it’s something pretty big. Might decide the fate of the AWE, really. It comes down to the fact I’d like you to represent me in a match for—
CAROLINE O’HARA BURCHILL: Me… represent… you?
Thirteen nervously shifts from one leg to the other as Caroline seems to be stiffening angrily by the second.
THIRTEEN: Yeah, I figured, what better way to—
CAROLINE O’HARA BURCHILL: You listen to me, “Unlucky” Thirteen. I came here to set my career back on track, and since MEETING you my wrestling career has nosedived.
THIRTEEN: Yeah, but—
Caroline steps in to Thirteen with a hiss of bitterness in her words.
CAROLINE O’HARA BURCHILL: Frankly… rather than asking me to represent you, you should be thankful I haven’t thrown you off a cliff for all you’ve already done to me. I’ve been on the worst unlucky streak in recent memory because of you.
THIRTEEN: Whoa, that’s a little harsh—
CAROLINE O’HARA BURCHILL: I always get even. Understand? You better just watch your back.
Caroline glares as she strides past Thirteen towards her upcoming match. Those standing backstage look to Thirteen who eyes around nervously at the small crowd of people who have just witnessed the altercation.
THIRTEEN: Okay, move along, nothing to see here people.
The chorus of “One Tin Soldier” by The Original Caste is popping before it decreases in volume as the cameras come back on in the AWE Studio. Nate Hollis is wide-eyed reacting to what we all just witnessed.
NATE HOLLIS: That was pretty ice cold!
HAL 9000: I’m afraid I don’t understand why Ms. Burchill is so adamantly opposed to Thirteen, Nathan?
NATE HOLLIS: It all reaches back to AWE’s Massacre number 1, ‘9000, when Thirteen made a few comments that inadvertently set Caroline off into what can only be termed a murderous rampage that saw her and Ana Hayden slug it into the stands before finally making it back to the ring. By the time the match started, Caroline and Ana had beaten each other stupid, and Ana Hayden managed to score a victory.
HAL 9000: Then shouldn’t Caroline be upset with Ana Hayden, Nathan?
NATE HOLLIS: Presumably so, but so far it seems to be Thirteen who’s taken the ire for setting Caroline off. And that’s from both Caroline AND Ana Hayden. Needless to say, it’s not looking positive for Caroline to represent Thirteen in that big time ladder match the AWE is planning to replace our outgoing COO.
HAL 9000: It’s back to the proverbial drawing board for Thirteen.
NATE HOLLIS: You said it, ‘9000. Way I see it, Thirteen’s very presence has seemingly engendered a lot of bad blood backstage, it could be easier said than done to get herself a fighter to face down Drew Stevenson and whoever Kassandrah picks.
HAL 9000: It promises to be an interesting competition, Nathan, once it takes shape.
NATE HOLLIS: Right on, right on. Now, we turn our attention to Caroline O’Hara Burchill’s actual wrestling match against debuting German beauty Tiara Wilder. Wife and spouse of the Stuntman Erron Wilder himself, and let me tell you this lady is a bona fide FIGHTER. If Burchill was hoping for an easy chance to get her fortunes back in order, she chose the wrong night to hope for that! Let’s watch her and Mrs. Wilder square off, shall we?
NATE HOLLIS: That was pretty ice cold!
HAL 9000: I’m afraid I don’t understand why Ms. Burchill is so adamantly opposed to Thirteen, Nathan?
NATE HOLLIS: It all reaches back to AWE’s Massacre number 1, ‘9000, when Thirteen made a few comments that inadvertently set Caroline off into what can only be termed a murderous rampage that saw her and Ana Hayden slug it into the stands before finally making it back to the ring. By the time the match started, Caroline and Ana had beaten each other stupid, and Ana Hayden managed to score a victory.
HAL 9000: Then shouldn’t Caroline be upset with Ana Hayden, Nathan?
NATE HOLLIS: Presumably so, but so far it seems to be Thirteen who’s taken the ire for setting Caroline off. And that’s from both Caroline AND Ana Hayden. Needless to say, it’s not looking positive for Caroline to represent Thirteen in that big time ladder match the AWE is planning to replace our outgoing COO.
HAL 9000: It’s back to the proverbial drawing board for Thirteen.
NATE HOLLIS: You said it, ‘9000. Way I see it, Thirteen’s very presence has seemingly engendered a lot of bad blood backstage, it could be easier said than done to get herself a fighter to face down Drew Stevenson and whoever Kassandrah picks.
HAL 9000: It promises to be an interesting competition, Nathan, once it takes shape.
NATE HOLLIS: Right on, right on. Now, we turn our attention to Caroline O’Hara Burchill’s actual wrestling match against debuting German beauty Tiara Wilder. Wife and spouse of the Stuntman Erron Wilder himself, and let me tell you this lady is a bona fide FIGHTER. If Burchill was hoping for an easy chance to get her fortunes back in order, she chose the wrong night to hope for that! Let’s watch her and Mrs. Wilder square off, shall we?
1st Round Alpha Cup Tournament
Caroline O'Hara Burchill VS. Tiara Wilder
Erron Wilder stands at ringside confident, as Tiara swings her arms and wamrs up in her corner as Caroline O’Hara Burchill looks across the ring at her with a determined glare.
BRAD STOKES: Which one do you think is hotter, Nina? Caroline, my obvious and first choice, or Tiara Wilder?
NINA APPLEBAUM: I honestly don’t know, Bradley, and I don’t think it’s as important as you make it out to be.
BRAD STOKES: What are you, gay or something?
Burchill and Tiara Wilder are no-nonsense as they circle one another. Burchill shifts in for the tie-up but Tiara Wilder evades that and delivers a swift kidney punch that staggers Caroline!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Quick bulldog by Tiara Wilder and she follows that up with a cover!
ONE--!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Barely a one count!
BRAD STOKES: Caroline Burchill’s not one you want to lay off the gas from if you’re in a match against her. Some say she’s lost her edge, I say she’s biding her time until we’re married.
NINA APPLEBAUM: That makes no sense, Bradley!
BRAD STOKES: You make no sense! Am I the only one working on mine and Caroline's relationship?!
Tiara Wilder is quick to blow a kiss to Erron as she raises Caroline up to her feet and is about to lay into Caroline before Burchill surprises Tiara with a snap suplex! And Caroline kips up and over to land atop of Tiara and lays a flurry of mounted punches into Tiara Wilder!
BRAD STOKES: This whole match would be expedited far quicker if Erron Wilder would just intervene already.
NINA APPLEBAUM: I strongly doubt you’ll see that, Bradley. Erron Wilder might be a lot of things, but he’s not about letting his wife fight her own battles.
Tiara bridges up and manages to flip Caroline off of her. Tiara kips up to her feet just as Caroline is back on her feet. It’s Tiara who manages to lunge rapidly for Caroline and sends her whipping into the ropes! On the rebound, Tiara ducks right into a stiff kick by Caroline that straightens Tiara up to be met with a hard clothesline that tackles Tiara to the canvas, and Caroline goes for a quick cover!
1…
NINA APPLEBAUM: Tiara gets a shoulder up!
Caroline grits her teeth and forces Tiara up to her feet and backs her up once more against the ropes before absolutely SLAMMING a backhand across Tiara’s face that leaves Mrs. Wilder staggered before Caroline whips Tiara for the corner where she hits HARD! Caroline chases her in and leaps for a set of jumping knees for Tiara’s back but Tiara quickly slides out of the corner and Caroline smacks into the turnbuckle and lands on her feet backing up before she is FLATTENED by a hard clothesline by Tiara Wilder!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Not precisely sure who’s doing the training, but Tiara Wilder’s definitely got the ring awareness working for her there. Deft transition from what could have easily been the end of this match.
Tiara rolls her shoulders and positions herself to trap Caroline into a muta lock that WRENCHES back on Caroline’s neck!
BRAD STOKES: Bad spot to be in!
Tiara seems to revel in forcing Caroline to squirm and scream before reaching for the ropes and forcing Tiara to relinquish the hold! Tiara rises to her feet as Caroline, lifts to all fours. Tiara promptly sends a swift kick into Caroline’s side forcing her flat onto her back before dropping a stiff elbow where Caroline would have been if she hadn’t quickly rolled out of the way at the last second!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Good timing there by Caroline Burchill! Tiara was beginning to string together moves in what looked like a rather devastating chain!
BRAD STOKES: She’s definitely proving to be merciless in that ring! Ring rust Shming Shmust.
Tiara is on her feet quickly and rampaging after Caroline and slamming a running knee into Caroline’s jaw that knocks her sideways! Before she can crumple, Tiara raises her to her feet and whips her for the ropes only to instead jam her knee up into Caroline’s midsection sending her head over heels back onto the canvas! And Tiara goes again for the cover!
1..
2…
NINA APPLEBAUM: Kickout by Caroline Burchill!
Tiara looks angrily focused as she rises to her feet, looking out into the crowd, about to turn back to Caroline before Caroline takes her down hard with a chop block in a sudden reversal of fortune! Caroline staggers to her feet and is on Tiara almost instantly, entangling her lock into a painful Achilles lock!
BRAD STOKES: Never count Caroline O’Hara Burchill out, no matter what. Never turn your back to her, even for a second, and by god never believe she’s finished until the bell sounds.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Considering this is her first match back in a while, I’d say Tiara Wilder’s done a good job of keeping Burchill at bay up till now but that momentum seems to be shifting here!
BRAD STOKES: Caroline is really applying the pressure to Tiara’s leg!
Tiara’s in agony as she grips the canvas and claws her way for the ropes as Caroline wrenches on the hold in an attempt to DRAG Tiara back away from the ropes! Theo Refano is warning Caroline who glares at the official before angrily letting go.
BRAD STOKES: Hell hath no fury should be on a Burchill t-shirt. See that, Nina? I’m moving merchandise. Selling product. I’m Miles Blake-ing up in this bitch. If you did more of that, you’d be making the same amount of money as I am, Nina. What do you have to say to that?
NINA APPLEBAUM: Call the damn match and do your job, asshole.
BRAD STOKES: Wow. Harsh.
Tiara rolls under the ring ropes to the outside as Caroline argues mildly with the ref before shutting down the conversation and stalking out of the ring after Tiara who is down on all fours trying to recover.
NINA APPLEBAUM: To the outside we go, not the best place for Tiara Wilder to find herself.
BRAD STOKES: Are you implying imminent danger, Nina? Caroline Burchill may be a lunatic, but she’s MY lunatic. The people’s lunatic.
NINA APPLEBAUM: She’s hardly a lunatic, Bradley!
1!
The official begins the count as Caroline sends a hard kick into Tiara’s backside that knocks Mrs. Wilder’s head into the concrete before dropping a hard elbow into Tiara’s spine and quickly following it up with a brutal crossface!
BRAD STOKES: Right there on the outside! Not meant for a submission but pain!
2!
Caroline really wrenches back on the hold as Tiara squirms harshly before shifting to one side and SLAMMING a stiff elbow back into Caroline’s side!
3!
Another elbow strike that’s dislodging Caroline in increments! Another elbow and Caroline forces Tiara up to her feet, lets go and sends a hard kick into Tiara’s side before rolling her inside of the ring!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Caroline Burchill taking this back inside the ring. With the losing slide she’s been on, Caroline doesn’t seem intent on letting this match get away from her.
BRAD STOKES: Who can blame her. Getting sideswiped by the travelling bad luck of Thirteen is enough to make anyone sour, just ask Ana Hayden.
Inside the ring Caroline moves after Tiara who promptly sends Caroline down to the canvas with a headscissor takedown. Tiara, with gritted teeth quickly slides atop Caroline and begins slamming mounted punches down into Caroline!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Vicious strikes by Tiara wilder!
BRAD STOKES: Easy to forget that neither of these two is willing to give an inch in this match.
Tiara drags Caroline up to her feet and swings a violent clothesline for Caroline who, much to Tiara’s surprise ducks the clothesline spins around before Tiara can turn to face her and SPIKES Tiara’s head into the canvas with a poisoned frankensteiner!
NINA APPLEBAUM: IMPENDING OVERTHROW OUT OF NOWHERE! AND THE PIN!
1…
2…
3!!
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: Here is your winner… advancing to the second round of the Alpha Cup Tournament…. CAROLINE… O’HARA…. BURCHILLLLLLLL!!!!!!!
BRAD STOKES: The Queen herself! Caroline Burchill pulls that win off out of nowhere in a STUNNING return to form!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Not quite sure you can call that a return to form, Bradley. But a win is a win, and I’m sure it’s just what Caroline needed to get some wind back in her sails.
BRAD STOKES: She did need that. Both of them needed that, I think. And in the end, I don’t think that came down to who wanted it more, but who was able to score the felling blow sooner.
NINA APPLEBAUM: I couldn’t agree more. It, once again, came down to inches. A few more seconds and it would’ve been Tiara Wilder’s hand being raised!
BRAD STOKES: Eehhhhh. She’ll live. Right now it’s all about Caroline’s trek towards winning the Alpha Cup, Nina, and our inevitable union.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Much of that statement remains to be seen, Bradley.
BRAD STOKES: Yes, Nina, it does. Good segue.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Like always.
BRAD STOKES: Which one do you think is hotter, Nina? Caroline, my obvious and first choice, or Tiara Wilder?
NINA APPLEBAUM: I honestly don’t know, Bradley, and I don’t think it’s as important as you make it out to be.
BRAD STOKES: What are you, gay or something?
DING! DING! DING!
Burchill and Tiara Wilder are no-nonsense as they circle one another. Burchill shifts in for the tie-up but Tiara Wilder evades that and delivers a swift kidney punch that staggers Caroline!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Quick bulldog by Tiara Wilder and she follows that up with a cover!
ONE--!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Barely a one count!
BRAD STOKES: Caroline Burchill’s not one you want to lay off the gas from if you’re in a match against her. Some say she’s lost her edge, I say she’s biding her time until we’re married.
NINA APPLEBAUM: That makes no sense, Bradley!
BRAD STOKES: You make no sense! Am I the only one working on mine and Caroline's relationship?!
Tiara Wilder is quick to blow a kiss to Erron as she raises Caroline up to her feet and is about to lay into Caroline before Burchill surprises Tiara with a snap suplex! And Caroline kips up and over to land atop of Tiara and lays a flurry of mounted punches into Tiara Wilder!
BRAD STOKES: This whole match would be expedited far quicker if Erron Wilder would just intervene already.
NINA APPLEBAUM: I strongly doubt you’ll see that, Bradley. Erron Wilder might be a lot of things, but he’s not about letting his wife fight her own battles.
Tiara bridges up and manages to flip Caroline off of her. Tiara kips up to her feet just as Caroline is back on her feet. It’s Tiara who manages to lunge rapidly for Caroline and sends her whipping into the ropes! On the rebound, Tiara ducks right into a stiff kick by Caroline that straightens Tiara up to be met with a hard clothesline that tackles Tiara to the canvas, and Caroline goes for a quick cover!
1…
NINA APPLEBAUM: Tiara gets a shoulder up!
Caroline grits her teeth and forces Tiara up to her feet and backs her up once more against the ropes before absolutely SLAMMING a backhand across Tiara’s face that leaves Mrs. Wilder staggered before Caroline whips Tiara for the corner where she hits HARD! Caroline chases her in and leaps for a set of jumping knees for Tiara’s back but Tiara quickly slides out of the corner and Caroline smacks into the turnbuckle and lands on her feet backing up before she is FLATTENED by a hard clothesline by Tiara Wilder!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Not precisely sure who’s doing the training, but Tiara Wilder’s definitely got the ring awareness working for her there. Deft transition from what could have easily been the end of this match.
Tiara rolls her shoulders and positions herself to trap Caroline into a muta lock that WRENCHES back on Caroline’s neck!
BRAD STOKES: Bad spot to be in!
Tiara seems to revel in forcing Caroline to squirm and scream before reaching for the ropes and forcing Tiara to relinquish the hold! Tiara rises to her feet as Caroline, lifts to all fours. Tiara promptly sends a swift kick into Caroline’s side forcing her flat onto her back before dropping a stiff elbow where Caroline would have been if she hadn’t quickly rolled out of the way at the last second!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Good timing there by Caroline Burchill! Tiara was beginning to string together moves in what looked like a rather devastating chain!
BRAD STOKES: She’s definitely proving to be merciless in that ring! Ring rust Shming Shmust.
Tiara is on her feet quickly and rampaging after Caroline and slamming a running knee into Caroline’s jaw that knocks her sideways! Before she can crumple, Tiara raises her to her feet and whips her for the ropes only to instead jam her knee up into Caroline’s midsection sending her head over heels back onto the canvas! And Tiara goes again for the cover!
1..
2…
NINA APPLEBAUM: Kickout by Caroline Burchill!
Tiara looks angrily focused as she rises to her feet, looking out into the crowd, about to turn back to Caroline before Caroline takes her down hard with a chop block in a sudden reversal of fortune! Caroline staggers to her feet and is on Tiara almost instantly, entangling her lock into a painful Achilles lock!
BRAD STOKES: Never count Caroline O’Hara Burchill out, no matter what. Never turn your back to her, even for a second, and by god never believe she’s finished until the bell sounds.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Considering this is her first match back in a while, I’d say Tiara Wilder’s done a good job of keeping Burchill at bay up till now but that momentum seems to be shifting here!
BRAD STOKES: Caroline is really applying the pressure to Tiara’s leg!
Tiara’s in agony as she grips the canvas and claws her way for the ropes as Caroline wrenches on the hold in an attempt to DRAG Tiara back away from the ropes! Theo Refano is warning Caroline who glares at the official before angrily letting go.
BRAD STOKES: Hell hath no fury should be on a Burchill t-shirt. See that, Nina? I’m moving merchandise. Selling product. I’m Miles Blake-ing up in this bitch. If you did more of that, you’d be making the same amount of money as I am, Nina. What do you have to say to that?
NINA APPLEBAUM: Call the damn match and do your job, asshole.
BRAD STOKES: Wow. Harsh.
Tiara rolls under the ring ropes to the outside as Caroline argues mildly with the ref before shutting down the conversation and stalking out of the ring after Tiara who is down on all fours trying to recover.
NINA APPLEBAUM: To the outside we go, not the best place for Tiara Wilder to find herself.
BRAD STOKES: Are you implying imminent danger, Nina? Caroline Burchill may be a lunatic, but she’s MY lunatic. The people’s lunatic.
NINA APPLEBAUM: She’s hardly a lunatic, Bradley!
1!
The official begins the count as Caroline sends a hard kick into Tiara’s backside that knocks Mrs. Wilder’s head into the concrete before dropping a hard elbow into Tiara’s spine and quickly following it up with a brutal crossface!
BRAD STOKES: Right there on the outside! Not meant for a submission but pain!
2!
Caroline really wrenches back on the hold as Tiara squirms harshly before shifting to one side and SLAMMING a stiff elbow back into Caroline’s side!
3!
Another elbow strike that’s dislodging Caroline in increments! Another elbow and Caroline forces Tiara up to her feet, lets go and sends a hard kick into Tiara’s side before rolling her inside of the ring!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Caroline Burchill taking this back inside the ring. With the losing slide she’s been on, Caroline doesn’t seem intent on letting this match get away from her.
BRAD STOKES: Who can blame her. Getting sideswiped by the travelling bad luck of Thirteen is enough to make anyone sour, just ask Ana Hayden.
Inside the ring Caroline moves after Tiara who promptly sends Caroline down to the canvas with a headscissor takedown. Tiara, with gritted teeth quickly slides atop Caroline and begins slamming mounted punches down into Caroline!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Vicious strikes by Tiara wilder!
BRAD STOKES: Easy to forget that neither of these two is willing to give an inch in this match.
Tiara drags Caroline up to her feet and swings a violent clothesline for Caroline who, much to Tiara’s surprise ducks the clothesline spins around before Tiara can turn to face her and SPIKES Tiara’s head into the canvas with a poisoned frankensteiner!
NINA APPLEBAUM: IMPENDING OVERTHROW OUT OF NOWHERE! AND THE PIN!
1…
2…
3!!
DING! DING! DING!
The opening strains of “I am the Greatest” By Logic kicks onto the speakers as Caroline rises to her feet breathing heavy but with a returning confidence as Tiara grips her head and angrily rolls out of the ring to Erron Wilder. MARSHALL DOUGLAS: Here is your winner… advancing to the second round of the Alpha Cup Tournament…. CAROLINE… O’HARA…. BURCHILLLLLLLL!!!!!!!
BRAD STOKES: The Queen herself! Caroline Burchill pulls that win off out of nowhere in a STUNNING return to form!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Not quite sure you can call that a return to form, Bradley. But a win is a win, and I’m sure it’s just what Caroline needed to get some wind back in her sails.
BRAD STOKES: She did need that. Both of them needed that, I think. And in the end, I don’t think that came down to who wanted it more, but who was able to score the felling blow sooner.
NINA APPLEBAUM: I couldn’t agree more. It, once again, came down to inches. A few more seconds and it would’ve been Tiara Wilder’s hand being raised!
BRAD STOKES: Eehhhhh. She’ll live. Right now it’s all about Caroline’s trek towards winning the Alpha Cup, Nina, and our inevitable union.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Much of that statement remains to be seen, Bradley.
BRAD STOKES: Yes, Nina, it does. Good segue.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Like always.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: You wanted to speak with me, Cameron?
CARMEN CAMBRIDGE: Cameron? No, boo boo, it’s Carmen. C-A-R-M-E-N and I have a bone to pick with you. It seems like everyone else in this company is competing in the Alpha Cup tonight and for some reason I was held back. What’s going on?
Cambridge takes a step closer to the old man, and then removes her #SlayCarmenSlay t-shirt to reveal she’s in her ring gear.
CARMEN CAMBRIDGE: I’m ready to go. I’ll wrestle the entire Resilience Division tonight if I have to. My fans want me in that ring and I want to be there, so what’s really gucci? Why hold a Darkhorse down?
Francis is clearly very impressed with Carmen’s resolve as he eyes her ring gear over. He holds a hand up like a white flag, urging her to hear him out.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Gu...cci? Now listen. You see this Mogwai?
Francis holds up the cute little Mogwai creature to show Carmen before continuing.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: I’ve had my Mogwai scouring every little hidey-hole imaginable for the Resilience Championship, and even THEY can’t find it. Now you and I both know you could take that Resilience Division on handily and win that belt, and that’s exactly why I’ve held you back from competing in the Alpha Cup because it’s beneath your talents...
Francis looks around nervously to make sure no passersby can hear him before he leans in to speak in hushed tones to Carmen.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Look, you’re the first person I’ve approached to talk to about this so keep it under your hat, all right? But there’s something BIG coming down the pike. A match that’s going to decide who’s running this company, and I want YOU, Cameron Camelot, to represent me in it. How’s that sound?
Carmen raises an eyebrow as if to question him.
CARMEN CAMBRIDGE: I know if I were selecting someone to represent me, I’d at least know their name.
Cambridge eyes the Mogwai creature and shakes her head.
CARMEN CAMBRIDGE: And maybe your senior citizen self shoulda asked me before holding me out of a tournament that could have put me back on the map...BUT…
The pink haired fan favorite pauses once more before continuing.
CARMEN CAMBRIDGE: If you need someone to rep you, I got you. Just remember, when the dust settles and I win you control of this company, you owe me boo boo.
Carmen leaves it at that, leaving Francis to watch her stalk off before looking down at his Mogwai.
NATE HOLLIS: …okay, what the hell is Francis doing?
HAL 9000: It appears he is… still recruiting for representation, Nathan.
NATE HOLLIS: But he already DID that. He recruited Drew Stevenson to fight for him. That's already some extreme firepower right there.Now he’s recruiting my Gucci girl Carmen Cambridge? Is he off his meds, or something?
HAL 9000: Actually, Nathan, according to his assistant Rodney P, he is.
NATE HOLLIS: Well, that’s something. Can’t see that not causing a problem somehow down the road increasing the potential for two imposing forces like Carmen Cambridge and Drew Stevenson to collide, unless Francis literally meant to do that.
HAL 9000: Perhaps he’s smarter than you give him credit for, Nathan?
NATE HOLLIS: Or perhaps he’s just plain batshit insane? Not my problem! Let the execs sort that mess out. I’m just here to keep you AWEites on track with the shows, and in the know with all that I know so that you can also know what I know, you know?
HAL 9000: Perhaps we should cue up the next match, Nathan?
NATE HOLLIS: Ahhhhh. That’s right. We got my boy Colgate Carnage, the other-other Vag Crushin’ Overlord himself, facing down with the self-described MVP of the AWE, Anastasia Hayden in yet another first round conflict for the Alpha Cup Tournament… let’s see who ends up moving into the second round, shall we?
1st Round Alpha Cup Tournament
Ana Hayden VS. Colgate Carnage
Right out of the gate Ana Hayden has charged Colgate like a firecracker were lit under her. Standing at 6’4, her highest kicks are hitting his chest and Colgate is doing best to swerve, bob, and weave away from a fiery Ana Hayden!
BRAD STOKES: I gotta ask it, Nina.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Here we go.
BRAD STOKES: Don’t give me that. It’s the hottest question surrounding Colgate Carnage since he entered the AWE.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Yes, Bradley, I’m sure he’s heard his name is Colgate. I’m sure he knows that’s the name of a toothpaste brand. And I’m quite certain you wouldn’t be the first to bring it up.
BRAD STOKES: ….Toothpaste…? What are you talking about? I was wondering about his hair, does he bleach that, or what’s going on there?
NINA APPLEBAUM: Oh….
Ana makes the mistake of going for a huge upper cut, but Colgate grips her wrist and tugs her up into a sudden pivoting powerslam into a pin!
1…
TW—
NINA APPLEBAUM: Kickout by Ana Hayden.
BRAD STOKES: This match is like night and day. Colgate Carnage is 6’4, about 240 pounds and Ana is nearly a foot shorter and weighs half of that. It’s going to take a miracle for her to overcome this guy’s physical advantages, to say nothing of his perfect teeth with no cavities.
NINA APPLEBAUM: She’s done it before, but you’re right, as with every match Ana Hayden has encountered so far in the AWE, she’s once more in against some pretty tough odds.
BRAD STOKES: Are you kidding?! Ana Hayden’s been like a streaking comet plummeting towards earth since she got here. Why, if it wasn’t for Thirteen she’d probably be champion of all the divisions by now!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Hardly fair, Bradley. To Ana Hayden OR Thirteen.
Colgate Carnage has Ana to her feet and sends her for the ropes but Ana quickly grabs hold and halts her momentum leaving Colgate awaiting her return. As he straightens up he finds Ana right back in front of him launching an onslaught of kicks and strikes to his chest and midsection that catches Colgate off guard, backing Colgate up into the ropes leaning backwards, and Ana Hayden leaps up and SLAMS both soles of her boots into Colgate’s chest and sends him flipping up and over the ropes spilling painfully down onto the concrete on the outside!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Rough spill for Colgate Carnage.
BRAD STOKES: How’s his teeth? Doesn’t matter. Ana Hayden is as reckless as they come, and Colgate Carnage is half-assing it! There’s only one way this can end up!
Ana takes a run and suicide dives over the ropes but finding Colgate has evaded her landing and Ana slams off the concrete hard and skids to a painful looking stop.
BRAD STOKES: With Colgate accidentally killing Ana, is what I meant. Good work, Crusher!
Bracing his neck, Colgate spies Ana as the count begins from the Ref.
1!
Colgate makes it to his feet and grips Ana up to her feet and rolls her back into the ring.
BRAD STOKES: That was uneventful! Smash her damn head off things you toothpaste cap lid head guy!
NINA APPLEBAUM: That’s really not what Colgate’s about, Bradley. And the sooner you stop calling him references to toothpaste, the better off we’ll all be!
Colgate climbs onto the ring apron and slips through the ropes and circles Ana almost reluctantly before dropping an elbow down hard onto Ana and shifting it into a pin attempt!
1…
2…
THR—
NINA APPLEBAUM: Kickout by Ana Hayden who really overshot with that suicide dive and is now paying the price. And I think Colgate would’ve preferred a more even, fair fight here, Bradley.
BRAD STOKES: This guy was TRAINED by Stevie Harris, Nina. This man prefers nooses… and… whatever the hell else Stevie Harris preferred! He’s a monster! Evil incarnate.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Guilty by association, Bradley?
BRAD STOKES: Yes, Nina. I paint everyone with the same brush, and I get off on it, too.
Colgate grips Ana up to her feet and sends her once more flying to the ropes, on the rebound he spins her into a powerslam pinning combo!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Another cover attempt by Colgate Carnage!
1…
2…
THR—
BRAD STOKES: Ana Hayden’s death wish precludes her from tapping out, or being pinned conventionally, Nina. You watch. She’s actually a cyborg killing machine sent back in time to KILL Colgate Carnage.
NINA APPLEBAUM: That may be so, but right now Ana looks barely coherent in that ring after her failed high risk attempt earlier!
BRAD STOKES: Had some real momentum going with that movie reference, Nina…
As Colgate drags Ana up to her feet, it takes a massive amount of energy for Ana to enziguri kick straight into Colgate’s chin and send him staggering backwards. An out-of-breath Ana Hayden CHARGES at him and SLAMS Colgate Crusher down to the canvas!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Beautiful tornado DDT there by Ana Hayden.
BRAD STOKES: Well now they’re both down.
Ana rises slowly, as Colgate props himself up on his elbows and attempts to shake free the cobwebs.
BRAD STOKES: Nope. Nevermind. They’re fine. Kind of a shame.
From all fours Ana slams her foot into Colgate’s side repeatedly before Colgate finally rolls out of the way and uses the ropes to guide him back to his feet. Ana drags herself up and charges for Colgate just as he charges for her and manages to SLAM a clothesline into Ana that topples her to the canvas! Colgate drops to his knees, hooks Ana’s leg and goes for the cover.
1…
2..
THR—
NINA APPLEBAUM: It’s taking everything Ana has to keep her shoulders raising off the canvas!
BRAD STOKES: Close call after close call! Colgate Carnage keeps it up and one of those near-falls is going to be an actual fall!
Colgate breathes heavily as he eyes Ana and contemplates his next move. He grips her by the hair as he climbs to his feet. Ana swings several unsuccessful kicks to Colgate which he manages to deflect and HEFTS her up into a military press.
NINA APPLEBAUM: The strength of Colgate… Ana may weigh a lot less but after this match that maneuver takes a lot of strength to pull off.
BRAD STOKES: Oh, for sure. Muscles are burning at this point, bones and joints are aching, gonna take a second arm to help him raise his toothbrush to maintain his oral hygiene.
Colgate rounds it out with a slam and a pop from the crowd as he lifts to one knee and looks out into the crowd psyching them up before gripping Ana and forcing her to her feet.
BRAD STOKES: Colgate is pumped up and ready to win this thing!!!
He has a firm hold of Ana’s throat and he drives her backwards and slams Ana HARD into the corner amid the roar of the crowd. Colgate gives a winning smile and points skyward, sending the crowd further into an uproar as Colgate heaves Ana up onto the top turnbuckle.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Colgate is signaling for it, and the fans can smell blood here!
Colgate climbs onto the ropes and readies Ana for a powerbomb! Another huge pop from the crowd and Colgate sets Ana up onto his shoulders but the momentum shifts backward just as he angles to powerbomb her into the ring!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Oh god Ana’s shifting their weight backwards!
Ana and Colgate topple backwards off the top turnbuckle out of the ring like Ana planned it! Only they both land HARD onto the ring steps and crash to the outside in a heap of cheers and amazement!
BRAD STOKES: That… was… AWESOME!
NINA APPLEBAUM: We might need the paramedics down here! Colgate Carnage had Ana Hayden up for a powerbomb off the top rope, his finishing maneuver, but Ana managed to shift the equilibrium and now they are BOTH collapsed to the outside!
1!
BRAD STOKES: Nasty spill is one thing that was literal carnage! Colgate’s bent awkwardly over the now scattered ring steps and Ana looks like she dislocated her entire body! She’s never going to make that match at FSociety, now!
2!
Neither are moving much!
3!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Horrible accident out here, folks. One or both of these two competitors could be seriously injured!
BRAD STOKES: That was no accident, it was just a poorly planned and positioned reversal on the part of Ana Hayden! She’s the MVP, after all.
4!
5!
Colgate is the first to stir, he lifts his head and crawls out of the wreckage of the ring steps as Ana half drags herself onto all fours.
6!
NINA APPLEBAUM: The good sign is they’re STILL moving.
BRAD STOKES: Not going to lie, this disappoints me.
7!
Ana and Colgate both consciously slide into the ring and manage to spur the crowd on for a bigger ovation.
NINA APPLEBAUM: How are they still moving?!
BRAD STOKES: It’s like when a chicken loses its head. These two are likely dead for real. Except for Ana, cause she’s a cyborg.
Ana is at one knee propped against the ropes and Colgate has made it to one knee to eye down Ana.
BRAD STOKES: The staredown of disbelief right there.
NINA APPLEBAUM: I don’t think Colgate was expecting Ana to have quite as much fight in her as she has.
BRAD STOKES: Yeah, but she’s fading fast.
Colgate grips the ropes and forces himself to his feet at the same time Ana does.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Standing ovation for these two competitors from this capacity crowd, and who can blame them.
BRAD STOKES: I’m not clapping, Nina. Know why?
NINA APPLEBAUM: Because they didn’t die?
BRAD STOKES: Because they didn’t die. Exactly.
Ana and Colgate circle one another wearily, both clearly stiff and in pain, red welts mar Colgate’s sweat-laden brow, and Ana is favoring her shoulder and knee. The crowd is pumped as it’s like the match reset but both competitors are in profoundly weakened states. Colgate is the first to bear down on Ana, aiming for a tie up! He easily overpowers her and drives her to one knee before compelling her back to her feet and WHIPPING Ana for the ropes! Colgate hunches over on Ana’s return only for Ana to slam a scissor kick down HARD into the back of Colgate’s neck!
NINA APPLEBAUM: HARD kick there by Ana Hayden!
BRAD STOKES: But that tree ain’t falling, Nina!
Colgate straightens up and staggers backward as an out-of-breath Ana has nearly collapsed backward to prop herself up with the ropes eyeing Colgate with shock that he’s still standing. Panting and groggy, Colgate shifts his stance and rushes her as Ana grits her teeth and powers forward and manages to beat Colgate to the punch with a single-leg dropkick!
NINA APPLEBAUM: SHE WAS ONLY SEVENTEEN!
BRAD STOKES: THAT ONE GOT HIM!
NINA APPLEBAUM: And Ana Hayden practically collapses atop Colgate for the cover!
1…
2…
3!!!
“Internal Dialogue” by Mind Eraser pumps over the speakers.
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: Here is your winner… Advancing to the second round of the Alpha Cup Tournament… ANASTASIA…. HAAAAYYYYYYYDEEEEN!!!!
Ana is woozy as she comes to her feet and barely raises her hand.
NINA APPLEBAUM: One of the hardest fought matches Ana Hayden has ever had I dare say.
BRAD STOKES: Nah, Nina. She’s a cyborg. She’s just keeping up appearances.
Ana staggers out of the ring as Colgate groggily gets to one knee.
BRAD STOKES: Yep. That was all part of her master plan.
NINA APPLEBAUM: I don’t think so. From bell to bell, Ana Hayden was lucky to survive Colgate Carnage tonight!
BRAD STOKES: Why do you gotta ruin the whole thing? She won, she survived, perservered, and walked out with her head held almost quasi high. Good enough for me.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Indeed! Ana Hayden moves on, and Colgate Carnage does not. It’s going to be interesting to see the fallout from that match.
BRAD STOKES: I gotta ask it, Nina.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Here we go.
BRAD STOKES: Don’t give me that. It’s the hottest question surrounding Colgate Carnage since he entered the AWE.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Yes, Bradley, I’m sure he’s heard his name is Colgate. I’m sure he knows that’s the name of a toothpaste brand. And I’m quite certain you wouldn’t be the first to bring it up.
BRAD STOKES: ….Toothpaste…? What are you talking about? I was wondering about his hair, does he bleach that, or what’s going on there?
NINA APPLEBAUM: Oh….
Ana makes the mistake of going for a huge upper cut, but Colgate grips her wrist and tugs her up into a sudden pivoting powerslam into a pin!
1…
TW—
NINA APPLEBAUM: Kickout by Ana Hayden.
BRAD STOKES: This match is like night and day. Colgate Carnage is 6’4, about 240 pounds and Ana is nearly a foot shorter and weighs half of that. It’s going to take a miracle for her to overcome this guy’s physical advantages, to say nothing of his perfect teeth with no cavities.
NINA APPLEBAUM: She’s done it before, but you’re right, as with every match Ana Hayden has encountered so far in the AWE, she’s once more in against some pretty tough odds.
BRAD STOKES: Are you kidding?! Ana Hayden’s been like a streaking comet plummeting towards earth since she got here. Why, if it wasn’t for Thirteen she’d probably be champion of all the divisions by now!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Hardly fair, Bradley. To Ana Hayden OR Thirteen.
Colgate Carnage has Ana to her feet and sends her for the ropes but Ana quickly grabs hold and halts her momentum leaving Colgate awaiting her return. As he straightens up he finds Ana right back in front of him launching an onslaught of kicks and strikes to his chest and midsection that catches Colgate off guard, backing Colgate up into the ropes leaning backwards, and Ana Hayden leaps up and SLAMS both soles of her boots into Colgate’s chest and sends him flipping up and over the ropes spilling painfully down onto the concrete on the outside!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Rough spill for Colgate Carnage.
BRAD STOKES: How’s his teeth? Doesn’t matter. Ana Hayden is as reckless as they come, and Colgate Carnage is half-assing it! There’s only one way this can end up!
Ana takes a run and suicide dives over the ropes but finding Colgate has evaded her landing and Ana slams off the concrete hard and skids to a painful looking stop.
BRAD STOKES: With Colgate accidentally killing Ana, is what I meant. Good work, Crusher!
Bracing his neck, Colgate spies Ana as the count begins from the Ref.
1!
Colgate makes it to his feet and grips Ana up to her feet and rolls her back into the ring.
BRAD STOKES: That was uneventful! Smash her damn head off things you toothpaste cap lid head guy!
NINA APPLEBAUM: That’s really not what Colgate’s about, Bradley. And the sooner you stop calling him references to toothpaste, the better off we’ll all be!
Colgate climbs onto the ring apron and slips through the ropes and circles Ana almost reluctantly before dropping an elbow down hard onto Ana and shifting it into a pin attempt!
1…
2…
THR—
NINA APPLEBAUM: Kickout by Ana Hayden who really overshot with that suicide dive and is now paying the price. And I think Colgate would’ve preferred a more even, fair fight here, Bradley.
BRAD STOKES: This guy was TRAINED by Stevie Harris, Nina. This man prefers nooses… and… whatever the hell else Stevie Harris preferred! He’s a monster! Evil incarnate.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Guilty by association, Bradley?
BRAD STOKES: Yes, Nina. I paint everyone with the same brush, and I get off on it, too.
Colgate grips Ana up to her feet and sends her once more flying to the ropes, on the rebound he spins her into a powerslam pinning combo!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Another cover attempt by Colgate Carnage!
1…
2…
THR—
BRAD STOKES: Ana Hayden’s death wish precludes her from tapping out, or being pinned conventionally, Nina. You watch. She’s actually a cyborg killing machine sent back in time to KILL Colgate Carnage.
NINA APPLEBAUM: That may be so, but right now Ana looks barely coherent in that ring after her failed high risk attempt earlier!
BRAD STOKES: Had some real momentum going with that movie reference, Nina…
As Colgate drags Ana up to her feet, it takes a massive amount of energy for Ana to enziguri kick straight into Colgate’s chin and send him staggering backwards. An out-of-breath Ana Hayden CHARGES at him and SLAMS Colgate Crusher down to the canvas!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Beautiful tornado DDT there by Ana Hayden.
BRAD STOKES: Well now they’re both down.
Ana rises slowly, as Colgate props himself up on his elbows and attempts to shake free the cobwebs.
BRAD STOKES: Nope. Nevermind. They’re fine. Kind of a shame.
From all fours Ana slams her foot into Colgate’s side repeatedly before Colgate finally rolls out of the way and uses the ropes to guide him back to his feet. Ana drags herself up and charges for Colgate just as he charges for her and manages to SLAM a clothesline into Ana that topples her to the canvas! Colgate drops to his knees, hooks Ana’s leg and goes for the cover.
1…
2..
THR—
NINA APPLEBAUM: It’s taking everything Ana has to keep her shoulders raising off the canvas!
BRAD STOKES: Close call after close call! Colgate Carnage keeps it up and one of those near-falls is going to be an actual fall!
Colgate breathes heavily as he eyes Ana and contemplates his next move. He grips her by the hair as he climbs to his feet. Ana swings several unsuccessful kicks to Colgate which he manages to deflect and HEFTS her up into a military press.
NINA APPLEBAUM: The strength of Colgate… Ana may weigh a lot less but after this match that maneuver takes a lot of strength to pull off.
BRAD STOKES: Oh, for sure. Muscles are burning at this point, bones and joints are aching, gonna take a second arm to help him raise his toothbrush to maintain his oral hygiene.
Colgate rounds it out with a slam and a pop from the crowd as he lifts to one knee and looks out into the crowd psyching them up before gripping Ana and forcing her to her feet.
BRAD STOKES: Colgate is pumped up and ready to win this thing!!!
He has a firm hold of Ana’s throat and he drives her backwards and slams Ana HARD into the corner amid the roar of the crowd. Colgate gives a winning smile and points skyward, sending the crowd further into an uproar as Colgate heaves Ana up onto the top turnbuckle.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Colgate is signaling for it, and the fans can smell blood here!
Colgate climbs onto the ropes and readies Ana for a powerbomb! Another huge pop from the crowd and Colgate sets Ana up onto his shoulders but the momentum shifts backward just as he angles to powerbomb her into the ring!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Oh god Ana’s shifting their weight backwards!
Ana and Colgate topple backwards off the top turnbuckle out of the ring like Ana planned it! Only they both land HARD onto the ring steps and crash to the outside in a heap of cheers and amazement!
BRAD STOKES: That… was… AWESOME!
NINA APPLEBAUM: We might need the paramedics down here! Colgate Carnage had Ana Hayden up for a powerbomb off the top rope, his finishing maneuver, but Ana managed to shift the equilibrium and now they are BOTH collapsed to the outside!
1!
BRAD STOKES: Nasty spill is one thing that was literal carnage! Colgate’s bent awkwardly over the now scattered ring steps and Ana looks like she dislocated her entire body! She’s never going to make that match at FSociety, now!
2!
Neither are moving much!
3!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Horrible accident out here, folks. One or both of these two competitors could be seriously injured!
BRAD STOKES: That was no accident, it was just a poorly planned and positioned reversal on the part of Ana Hayden! She’s the MVP, after all.
4!
5!
Colgate is the first to stir, he lifts his head and crawls out of the wreckage of the ring steps as Ana half drags herself onto all fours.
6!
NINA APPLEBAUM: The good sign is they’re STILL moving.
BRAD STOKES: Not going to lie, this disappoints me.
7!
Ana and Colgate both consciously slide into the ring and manage to spur the crowd on for a bigger ovation.
NINA APPLEBAUM: How are they still moving?!
BRAD STOKES: It’s like when a chicken loses its head. These two are likely dead for real. Except for Ana, cause she’s a cyborg.
Ana is at one knee propped against the ropes and Colgate has made it to one knee to eye down Ana.
BRAD STOKES: The staredown of disbelief right there.
NINA APPLEBAUM: I don’t think Colgate was expecting Ana to have quite as much fight in her as she has.
BRAD STOKES: Yeah, but she’s fading fast.
Colgate grips the ropes and forces himself to his feet at the same time Ana does.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Standing ovation for these two competitors from this capacity crowd, and who can blame them.
BRAD STOKES: I’m not clapping, Nina. Know why?
NINA APPLEBAUM: Because they didn’t die?
BRAD STOKES: Because they didn’t die. Exactly.
Ana and Colgate circle one another wearily, both clearly stiff and in pain, red welts mar Colgate’s sweat-laden brow, and Ana is favoring her shoulder and knee. The crowd is pumped as it’s like the match reset but both competitors are in profoundly weakened states. Colgate is the first to bear down on Ana, aiming for a tie up! He easily overpowers her and drives her to one knee before compelling her back to her feet and WHIPPING Ana for the ropes! Colgate hunches over on Ana’s return only for Ana to slam a scissor kick down HARD into the back of Colgate’s neck!
NINA APPLEBAUM: HARD kick there by Ana Hayden!
BRAD STOKES: But that tree ain’t falling, Nina!
Colgate straightens up and staggers backward as an out-of-breath Ana has nearly collapsed backward to prop herself up with the ropes eyeing Colgate with shock that he’s still standing. Panting and groggy, Colgate shifts his stance and rushes her as Ana grits her teeth and powers forward and manages to beat Colgate to the punch with a single-leg dropkick!
NINA APPLEBAUM: SHE WAS ONLY SEVENTEEN!
BRAD STOKES: THAT ONE GOT HIM!
NINA APPLEBAUM: And Ana Hayden practically collapses atop Colgate for the cover!
1…
2…
3!!!
“Internal Dialogue” by Mind Eraser pumps over the speakers.
DING! DING! DING!
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: Here is your winner… Advancing to the second round of the Alpha Cup Tournament… ANASTASIA…. HAAAAYYYYYYYDEEEEN!!!!
Ana is woozy as she comes to her feet and barely raises her hand.
NINA APPLEBAUM: One of the hardest fought matches Ana Hayden has ever had I dare say.
BRAD STOKES: Nah, Nina. She’s a cyborg. She’s just keeping up appearances.
Ana staggers out of the ring as Colgate groggily gets to one knee.
BRAD STOKES: Yep. That was all part of her master plan.
NINA APPLEBAUM: I don’t think so. From bell to bell, Ana Hayden was lucky to survive Colgate Carnage tonight!
BRAD STOKES: Why do you gotta ruin the whole thing? She won, she survived, perservered, and walked out with her head held almost quasi high. Good enough for me.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Indeed! Ana Hayden moves on, and Colgate Carnage does not. It’s going to be interesting to see the fallout from that match.