Post by Staff on Dec 28, 2016 15:29:08 GMT -5
Snow blew across the tarmac of the parking lot as the limo drove slowly through it and stopped between the two yellow lines. In the front seat where the heater blasted sat two mimes, Comme Çi and Comme Ça, who glanced into the back where their manager and employer, Francis Ford Cuppola, nodded quietly to them, and they turned the car off.
Beside Francis in the back of the limo sat Rodney P on one of side of Francis, on the other the ever-stoic and silent Mississagi. Rodney looked out the window into the cold New York winter with a frown before glancing to Francis.
RODNEY P: Francis, what are we doing here?
His employer sat warmly in a large faux fur jacket and looked mysteriously clever as he pulled a cigarette from a container and held it between his lips as he fished for a lighter.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: I told you. We’re meeting someone to help us handle our little AWE problem.
Rodney felt the cold air start to encroach inside the limo and glanced up at the mimes in their ever-present berets and wondered why they turned the car as he rubbed his hands together for warmth.
RODNEY P: Right. And w-who are we meeting again, exactly?
Francis found his lighter and lit the end of his cigarette.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: They call him “the cleaner”.
RODNEY P: I see. Who calls him that, exactly--Oh, Francis…? Francis, you don’t smo--
The flame lit up his face before Francis discovered he was lighting the end of one of his beloved Popeye cigarettes which ignited like a candle wick.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: OH MY GAD!
In a panic and a hurry Francis put the flame out on the bed of the limo in an uproar of burnt upholstery and fibers now stinking up the car. Francis calmed down as if it hadn’t happened and Rodney glared at him.
RODNEY P: You don’t smoke.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: *Nonchalant* Yes, I know that.
Francis watched his breath exhale into the rapidly cooling interior of the limo.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Cold in here, hey?
RODNEY P: Yes. Why have we shut the car off?
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: We’re conserving gas.
Rodney blinked and looked to the calm, quiet, watchful gaze of Mr. Mississagi who seemed constantly callously unimpressed by everything.
RODNEY P: There’s a gas shortage?
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: I don’t know. Maybe?
RODNEY P: … okay. But you’re rich.
Francis chuckled heartily at Rodney, eyeing him like a prized kitten.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Rodney you are positively adorable. I didn’t get this rich by buying gas! I’ve been running this limousine on the same tank of gas since the 80s.
Rodney sat irritated as it got colder inside the car and forced him to huddle up tighter inside of his jacket. He could hear the movement of the mimes up front silently playing rock paper scissor against one another.
RODNEY P: So who is this “cleaner”, and when will he be arriving?
Francis eyed his charged mercurially.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: He’ll be along shortly.
Francis’ half smirked hinted at mob hits and death threats and god knows what else. It made Rodney shift uncomfortably.
RODNEY P: Why isn’t Kassandrah here? Doesn’t this concern her, too?
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Rodney, Kassandrah lacks the stomach, the chutzpah, the cojones, the mojo, the fashizzle, the--
RODNEY P: Enough, Francis.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Right, sorry. HAHAHA! Almost got carried away there, didn't I? Ha. HAAHAH. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA--
RODNEY P: --Would you just get to the point, Francis?
Francis blinks out of his laughing fit without missing a beat.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: For what needs to be done in order secure purity of the AWE’s essence, Kassandrah is not ready to traverse the dark path only we may walk. No, Rodney, the way forward is black as pitch and requires a strong hand. *As if a thought occurs to him* Let me see your hands.
Francis frowned, leaning forward to investigate Rodney’s hands. Rodney reluctantly slid his freezing fingers forward.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Missisagi, you too. I want to see everyone’s hands.
Mississagi slid his hands forward to compare with Francis’ and Rodney’s. Francis inspected a moment before nodding with grudging approval.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: These will do.
Francis slipped back into his seat and smirked evilly.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Rodney, in order to fight back against T.S’ evil empire I’ve had to assemble a rag-tag group of “rebels” from all over the galaxy who will help me steal T.S.’ plans for what he calls “a death star”. Now, here on Kashyyk--
RODNEY P: Francis. That’s the plot of Star Wars.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Yes, I know that.
RODNEY P: Have you taken your medication?
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Just started again a day ago so I’m waiting for my levels to balance out, you know. Anyway, as I was saying, to combat T.S. I’ve had to find the lowest of the low, the most dastardly, evil, low-down, violent men available to me in order to fight back against the crimes of the AWE’s COO. Where we’re going, Rodney… there may be no turning back.
The chill in the car had iced significantly. There came a gentle rap on the window. Rodney eyed out but couldn’t see who it was. Francis’ smirk grew.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: It’s him.
Rodney pushed the button for the electric window to pull down to reveal…
A lone man stood at the car window wrapped in a trench coat. His perfectly maintained hair stands staunch against the light wintry breeze. His arms folded staring into the car at Rodney who frowned a glimmer of recognition at the man.
RODNEY P: You’re not the cleaner...
TODD REID: And you’re not Francis. Is he in there?
RODNEY: Yes, he, unfortunately, is.
TODD REID: Good, move over. I’m freezing out here.
The pushed into the car and forced Rodney to readjust, watching as this newcomer found a seat opposite Francis. His breath is visible as he glances around the passengers of the car with a frown.
TODD REID: Why is there no heat? Why are we in the car? I have an office that has both light and heat 3 blocks away?
Todd peppers the questions at Francis before calming down. Francis looks at him with a “you’ll do” gaze. Rodney finally places this new entry into the limo.
RODNEY P: You’re Todd Reid. The PAW Lawyer.
TODD REID: Yes. What’s this about really Francis? I got your letter 2 days ago with stacks of documents from the 1950s, some of which made sense, while some of it was about a purported alien autopsy. Then 10 minutes ago I get your text out of the blue to meet you here when I had us on the schedule to have lunch tomorrow in a warm calm safe setting because I know how high strung you are.
There is a gleam in Francis’ eye.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Yes, well--wait. You found the Alien Autopsy papers? Is this a setup? Are you people with the CIA? Why have you kidnapped me? Attica! Attica!
Francis looks concerned to the occupants of the car as though he woke up in a brand new place and makes to escape before Rodney raises a calming hand which eases Francis back into his seat. Rodney blinks away frustration and leans forward.
RODNEY P: Francis is temporarily unavailable until his medication kicks in. Todd, I’m Rodney, Francis’ executive assistant. I remember you from PAW. I believe Francis contacted you to help us get a situation under control over at the wrestling federation Francis has decided to destroy.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: *Annoyed* It’s called the AWE, Rodney.
RODNEY P: Yes, well. I suppose, knowing only marginally what he sent you, I’m quite certain there’s a solid reason to involve a man of your particular talents in the current “issues” going on in the wrestling company Francis currently holds a stake in.
Todd slowly turns to face Rodney
TODD REID: Well, you did very well at putting that into succinct terms. Since you must play your games Francis, we will play your game for now, but if I am to continue with this facade then it will be on my terms, which means Francis when I pull the plug then we do things my way. Also I will need some assurances that Francis you won’t cause me more trouble while we try and solve your problems.
Francis is taken a back for a moment before a bottle of syrup is passed to him.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Yes. We will make our pact on the purity of life.
Francis takes a sip of the syrup and passes it to Todd.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Do you indulge?
TODD REID: No, never, thanks.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Come on, don’t be a baby! Take the plunge!
TODD REID: I said no, Francis.
Francis won’t take no for an answer.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!
Francis urges Todd on like it were a keg party. Todd raises his voice to cut Francis off.
TODD REID: I said ‘no’.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Awwwwwwwww!
TODD REID: Now look, you got me to come down here; you got me to get into the car and for god only knows I agreed to help you, I end the line there. No syrup.
Disappointed, Francis hands the jug of syrup back to Mr. Mississagi.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Very Well. But know I’m not a man who forgets slights. Like the one I’ve asked you here about. Something’s wrong in the AWE, Todd. People being laid off. Money allocation issues. People being arrested. Not good for business, Todd. Only I can save them.
RODNEY P: Don’t forget about Thirteen.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: RIGHT! How could I forget that lovable little ewok. And her too.
TODD REID: What?
RODNEY P: Francis is talking about one of the other stake owners. Her name is Thirteen and there are two wrestlers who may know what happened. The federation’s Chief Operating Officer, T.S. Elliot, was the last to see her alive, and at the last show he implicated two wrestlers Anastasia Hayden and Caroline O’Hara Burchill. Francis, I think, wants you to talk to them and figure out this mess.
TODD REID: Very well, that’s step one. Get to the bottom of this Thirteen business. And what’s this you said about lay-offs?
A steady snore has set in as Francis has drifted off to sleep inexplicably. Rodney rolls his eyes after a glance at his boss, then looks back to Todd with embarrassment.
RODNEY P: Some shady dealings is really at the heart of what’s going on, Todd. Even though he never lets anyone in on his plans, I think Francis made the right decision contacting you. This T.S. guy is a real piece of work. I’m not sure what to make of it. And now they’re planning a ladder match for control of the company, and if he wins it could spell dark times ahead for the Alpha Wrestling Empire. Funny thing is I honestly believe Francis wants to do the right thing here, he’s just, well, he’s Francis. I can only do so much as his assistant, but you, you’re an actual lawyer. You can help take charge of this situation while Francis…
Heavy snore.
RODNEY P: You know… does things like that.
TODD REID: Rudolph..
RODNEY P: Rodney.
TODD REID: Rodney, right. You seem to have a handle on Francis here, which I like, but in order to make sure he doesn't make things more difficult, I would require some insurance.
RODNEY P: I'll do what I can but--
Francis snores loudly.
TODD REID: Look, I get Francis is difficult, but I have an idea that will let him still be Francis while being wholly unable to make things worse. I have a document I just need him to sign. Once he does I will be able to step in and truly help in the best way I can.
Rodney eyed Todd thoughtfully a moment.
RODNEY P: Interesting. You have my support.
TODD REID: Get him to sign, and have him meet me, I will let him do things his way but this insurance will allow me to truly step in and make changes and push back against this Elliot Guy. I don’t like the setup he has and I am worried for this Thirteen person. I’m going to go back to my office and do some research on this Elliot of yours. We got a plan Mr. Rodney?
RODNEY P: I think we understand one another.
Todd moves to get out of the car before looking stolidly at Rodney.
TODD REID: Get that document signed. I don't want to sound fatalistic here, but the AWE may depend on it.
RODNEY P: Sure thing, Mr. Reid.
Rodney looks on as Todd exits into the cold wintry night and closes the limo door behind him. A glance at Francis assures that the old man isn’t waking up anytime soon. Mississagi shrugs at Rodney who rolls his eyes once more and knocks on the wall of the limo. The Mimes start the limo, and they pull out of the parking lot with only Rodney contemplating the AWE’s future with only a hint of satisfaction at having done something.
Beside Francis in the back of the limo sat Rodney P on one of side of Francis, on the other the ever-stoic and silent Mississagi. Rodney looked out the window into the cold New York winter with a frown before glancing to Francis.
RODNEY P: Francis, what are we doing here?
His employer sat warmly in a large faux fur jacket and looked mysteriously clever as he pulled a cigarette from a container and held it between his lips as he fished for a lighter.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: I told you. We’re meeting someone to help us handle our little AWE problem.
Rodney felt the cold air start to encroach inside the limo and glanced up at the mimes in their ever-present berets and wondered why they turned the car as he rubbed his hands together for warmth.
RODNEY P: Right. And w-who are we meeting again, exactly?
Francis found his lighter and lit the end of his cigarette.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: They call him “the cleaner”.
RODNEY P: I see. Who calls him that, exactly--Oh, Francis…? Francis, you don’t smo--
The flame lit up his face before Francis discovered he was lighting the end of one of his beloved Popeye cigarettes which ignited like a candle wick.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: OH MY GAD!
In a panic and a hurry Francis put the flame out on the bed of the limo in an uproar of burnt upholstery and fibers now stinking up the car. Francis calmed down as if it hadn’t happened and Rodney glared at him.
RODNEY P: You don’t smoke.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: *Nonchalant* Yes, I know that.
Francis watched his breath exhale into the rapidly cooling interior of the limo.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Cold in here, hey?
RODNEY P: Yes. Why have we shut the car off?
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: We’re conserving gas.
Rodney blinked and looked to the calm, quiet, watchful gaze of Mr. Mississagi who seemed constantly callously unimpressed by everything.
RODNEY P: There’s a gas shortage?
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: I don’t know. Maybe?
RODNEY P: … okay. But you’re rich.
Francis chuckled heartily at Rodney, eyeing him like a prized kitten.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Rodney you are positively adorable. I didn’t get this rich by buying gas! I’ve been running this limousine on the same tank of gas since the 80s.
Rodney sat irritated as it got colder inside the car and forced him to huddle up tighter inside of his jacket. He could hear the movement of the mimes up front silently playing rock paper scissor against one another.
RODNEY P: So who is this “cleaner”, and when will he be arriving?
Francis eyed his charged mercurially.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: He’ll be along shortly.
Francis’ half smirked hinted at mob hits and death threats and god knows what else. It made Rodney shift uncomfortably.
RODNEY P: Why isn’t Kassandrah here? Doesn’t this concern her, too?
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Rodney, Kassandrah lacks the stomach, the chutzpah, the cojones, the mojo, the fashizzle, the--
RODNEY P: Enough, Francis.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Right, sorry. HAHAHA! Almost got carried away there, didn't I? Ha. HAAHAH. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA--
RODNEY P: --Would you just get to the point, Francis?
Francis blinks out of his laughing fit without missing a beat.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: For what needs to be done in order secure purity of the AWE’s essence, Kassandrah is not ready to traverse the dark path only we may walk. No, Rodney, the way forward is black as pitch and requires a strong hand. *As if a thought occurs to him* Let me see your hands.
Francis frowned, leaning forward to investigate Rodney’s hands. Rodney reluctantly slid his freezing fingers forward.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Missisagi, you too. I want to see everyone’s hands.
Mississagi slid his hands forward to compare with Francis’ and Rodney’s. Francis inspected a moment before nodding with grudging approval.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: These will do.
Francis slipped back into his seat and smirked evilly.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Rodney, in order to fight back against T.S’ evil empire I’ve had to assemble a rag-tag group of “rebels” from all over the galaxy who will help me steal T.S.’ plans for what he calls “a death star”. Now, here on Kashyyk--
RODNEY P: Francis. That’s the plot of Star Wars.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Yes, I know that.
RODNEY P: Have you taken your medication?
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Just started again a day ago so I’m waiting for my levels to balance out, you know. Anyway, as I was saying, to combat T.S. I’ve had to find the lowest of the low, the most dastardly, evil, low-down, violent men available to me in order to fight back against the crimes of the AWE’s COO. Where we’re going, Rodney… there may be no turning back.
The chill in the car had iced significantly. There came a gentle rap on the window. Rodney eyed out but couldn’t see who it was. Francis’ smirk grew.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: It’s him.
Rodney pushed the button for the electric window to pull down to reveal…
A lone man stood at the car window wrapped in a trench coat. His perfectly maintained hair stands staunch against the light wintry breeze. His arms folded staring into the car at Rodney who frowned a glimmer of recognition at the man.
RODNEY P: You’re not the cleaner...
TODD REID: And you’re not Francis. Is he in there?
RODNEY: Yes, he, unfortunately, is.
TODD REID: Good, move over. I’m freezing out here.
The pushed into the car and forced Rodney to readjust, watching as this newcomer found a seat opposite Francis. His breath is visible as he glances around the passengers of the car with a frown.
TODD REID: Why is there no heat? Why are we in the car? I have an office that has both light and heat 3 blocks away?
Todd peppers the questions at Francis before calming down. Francis looks at him with a “you’ll do” gaze. Rodney finally places this new entry into the limo.
RODNEY P: You’re Todd Reid. The PAW Lawyer.
TODD REID: Yes. What’s this about really Francis? I got your letter 2 days ago with stacks of documents from the 1950s, some of which made sense, while some of it was about a purported alien autopsy. Then 10 minutes ago I get your text out of the blue to meet you here when I had us on the schedule to have lunch tomorrow in a warm calm safe setting because I know how high strung you are.
There is a gleam in Francis’ eye.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Yes, well--wait. You found the Alien Autopsy papers? Is this a setup? Are you people with the CIA? Why have you kidnapped me? Attica! Attica!
Francis looks concerned to the occupants of the car as though he woke up in a brand new place and makes to escape before Rodney raises a calming hand which eases Francis back into his seat. Rodney blinks away frustration and leans forward.
RODNEY P: Francis is temporarily unavailable until his medication kicks in. Todd, I’m Rodney, Francis’ executive assistant. I remember you from PAW. I believe Francis contacted you to help us get a situation under control over at the wrestling federation Francis has decided to destroy.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: *Annoyed* It’s called the AWE, Rodney.
RODNEY P: Yes, well. I suppose, knowing only marginally what he sent you, I’m quite certain there’s a solid reason to involve a man of your particular talents in the current “issues” going on in the wrestling company Francis currently holds a stake in.
Todd slowly turns to face Rodney
TODD REID: Well, you did very well at putting that into succinct terms. Since you must play your games Francis, we will play your game for now, but if I am to continue with this facade then it will be on my terms, which means Francis when I pull the plug then we do things my way. Also I will need some assurances that Francis you won’t cause me more trouble while we try and solve your problems.
Francis is taken a back for a moment before a bottle of syrup is passed to him.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Yes. We will make our pact on the purity of life.
Francis takes a sip of the syrup and passes it to Todd.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Do you indulge?
TODD REID: No, never, thanks.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Come on, don’t be a baby! Take the plunge!
TODD REID: I said no, Francis.
Francis won’t take no for an answer.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!
Francis urges Todd on like it were a keg party. Todd raises his voice to cut Francis off.
TODD REID: I said ‘no’.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Awwwwwwwww!
TODD REID: Now look, you got me to come down here; you got me to get into the car and for god only knows I agreed to help you, I end the line there. No syrup.
Disappointed, Francis hands the jug of syrup back to Mr. Mississagi.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Very Well. But know I’m not a man who forgets slights. Like the one I’ve asked you here about. Something’s wrong in the AWE, Todd. People being laid off. Money allocation issues. People being arrested. Not good for business, Todd. Only I can save them.
RODNEY P: Don’t forget about Thirteen.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: RIGHT! How could I forget that lovable little ewok. And her too.
TODD REID: What?
RODNEY P: Francis is talking about one of the other stake owners. Her name is Thirteen and there are two wrestlers who may know what happened. The federation’s Chief Operating Officer, T.S. Elliot, was the last to see her alive, and at the last show he implicated two wrestlers Anastasia Hayden and Caroline O’Hara Burchill. Francis, I think, wants you to talk to them and figure out this mess.
TODD REID: Very well, that’s step one. Get to the bottom of this Thirteen business. And what’s this you said about lay-offs?
A steady snore has set in as Francis has drifted off to sleep inexplicably. Rodney rolls his eyes after a glance at his boss, then looks back to Todd with embarrassment.
RODNEY P: Some shady dealings is really at the heart of what’s going on, Todd. Even though he never lets anyone in on his plans, I think Francis made the right decision contacting you. This T.S. guy is a real piece of work. I’m not sure what to make of it. And now they’re planning a ladder match for control of the company, and if he wins it could spell dark times ahead for the Alpha Wrestling Empire. Funny thing is I honestly believe Francis wants to do the right thing here, he’s just, well, he’s Francis. I can only do so much as his assistant, but you, you’re an actual lawyer. You can help take charge of this situation while Francis…
Heavy snore.
RODNEY P: You know… does things like that.
TODD REID: Rudolph..
RODNEY P: Rodney.
TODD REID: Rodney, right. You seem to have a handle on Francis here, which I like, but in order to make sure he doesn't make things more difficult, I would require some insurance.
RODNEY P: I'll do what I can but--
Francis snores loudly.
TODD REID: Look, I get Francis is difficult, but I have an idea that will let him still be Francis while being wholly unable to make things worse. I have a document I just need him to sign. Once he does I will be able to step in and truly help in the best way I can.
Rodney eyed Todd thoughtfully a moment.
RODNEY P: Interesting. You have my support.
TODD REID: Get him to sign, and have him meet me, I will let him do things his way but this insurance will allow me to truly step in and make changes and push back against this Elliot Guy. I don’t like the setup he has and I am worried for this Thirteen person. I’m going to go back to my office and do some research on this Elliot of yours. We got a plan Mr. Rodney?
RODNEY P: I think we understand one another.
Todd moves to get out of the car before looking stolidly at Rodney.
TODD REID: Get that document signed. I don't want to sound fatalistic here, but the AWE may depend on it.
RODNEY P: Sure thing, Mr. Reid.
Rodney looks on as Todd exits into the cold wintry night and closes the limo door behind him. A glance at Francis assures that the old man isn’t waking up anytime soon. Mississagi shrugs at Rodney who rolls his eyes once more and knocks on the wall of the limo. The Mimes start the limo, and they pull out of the parking lot with only Rodney contemplating the AWE’s future with only a hint of satisfaction at having done something.