Massacre #5 - January 8, 2017
Jan 8, 2017 13:50:50 GMT -5
Caroline O'Hara Burchill and Bindy Trent like this
Post by Staff on Jan 8, 2017 13:50:50 GMT -5
The Stretch limousine pulled up to the Taft Coliseum where a riotous crowd stood barring entry. Comme Çi, or Comme Ça, as it’s difficult to tell the identical French Mimes apart, put the vehicle into park. In the back, Todd Reid looked out the window at the rather large gathered crowd and sucked his breath in nervously.
TODD REID: Wow.
Francis Ford Cuppola leaned forward to share Todd’s view out the window. He looked with a smile to Todd.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: First time, huh?
Todd frowned.
TODD REID: What do you mean, “first time”?
Faces pushed against the exterior of the window, angry mugs glaring in at them through the tint; nondescript yelling; it was a protest mob. Todd looked out at them for the first time gauging what had only been hinted at previously. He spotted signs waving angrily with signs reading “AWE TOOK MY JOB”; “ON STRIKE”; and “BRING BACK 9000”. Francis sniffed egotistically.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: The thrill of the fans. The roar of the adoring throngs. *Pops collar* Stick close to me, kid. Learn a few things.
Francis smiled confidently and obliviously at Todd as he snuggled his faux fur coat tight to himself and opened the door and rose out of the car and lifted his arms like a rock start meeting his faithful only to swiftly disappear, swept away in the mighty tidal wave of mob rage. Todd blinked to see him go and cautiously stepped from the Limo and glanced with amazement where the angry mob had swarmed Francis.
None of them knew him, and it was easy for him to wade through the throng of people to the back entrance where a doubled security detail grudgingly allowed him access. Inside, Todd fixed his tie a moment before the door he’d just came through blow open by a mighty force and Francis blew inside, behind him a man shouted:
NATE HOLLIS: GET ME MY JOB BACK, FRANCIS YOU--
Francis slammed the door shut behind him with exhaustion and braced hard against the door to keep the angry mob at bay.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: *Out of Breath* Think I know that guy.
TODD REID: That's Nate Hollis, Francis.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Nigel.
TODD REID: Nate.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Right.
Todd watched Francis secure the lock on the door and breathe in and out to gather his bearings.His hair disheveled, his fur coat missing and his shirt loose, untucked, and raggled. Francis caught his breath.
TODD REID: What was all that?
Francis finally stood up with his hair still on end and unsuccessfully fixed the frayed collar of his shirt.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: What? That?
TODD REID: Yes. That angry group of protestors that just mobbed you, messed up your hair and clothes and stole your fur coat. Are those former AWE Employees protesting an AWE show, in the middle of winter?
Francis moves away from the door, half of his shirt still untucked.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: *Giggles obliviously* I don't know what you're talking about. You're crazy. *Straight-Faced* But come on. We’ve gotta go interrogate some wrestling hooligans. Find out who killed Thirteen.
TODD REID: She's dead?
Francis stopped and looked at Todd incredulously.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: She is?!
TODD REID: You said someone killed her.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Seriously? Well. We better work fast.
Todd blinks noticing Francis is missing one shoe, watching as he walks on one barefoot and one foot clad in shoes down the hallway. Todd can’t believe his luck. Francis stops before a door and motions for Todd to join him.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: They’re in there. They’re feisty. And evidently one, maybe both, is a murderer.
TODD REID: I'm not so certain Thirteen's dead, Francis.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: I'll be the judge of that! Now, which one do you want?
Todd considers as he casually approaches.
TODD REID: I guess I’ll take Burchill, if you want to—
Francis rolls his eyes annoyed.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: I meant do you want good cop or bad cop. *Chuckles, rolling up his sleeves and cracking his knuckles* Are you new? Look, I’ll take bad cop. You just try not to screw this up, all right? These two are wrestling tonight so we best expedite this quickly. Or it's your ass.
Francis shakes his head at Todd as they open the door, which splits off into two rooms. Todd exhales sharply and uncertainly enters into one room, Francis the other.
TODD REID: Wow.
Francis Ford Cuppola leaned forward to share Todd’s view out the window. He looked with a smile to Todd.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: First time, huh?
Todd frowned.
TODD REID: What do you mean, “first time”?
Faces pushed against the exterior of the window, angry mugs glaring in at them through the tint; nondescript yelling; it was a protest mob. Todd looked out at them for the first time gauging what had only been hinted at previously. He spotted signs waving angrily with signs reading “AWE TOOK MY JOB”; “ON STRIKE”; and “BRING BACK 9000”. Francis sniffed egotistically.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: The thrill of the fans. The roar of the adoring throngs. *Pops collar* Stick close to me, kid. Learn a few things.
Francis smiled confidently and obliviously at Todd as he snuggled his faux fur coat tight to himself and opened the door and rose out of the car and lifted his arms like a rock start meeting his faithful only to swiftly disappear, swept away in the mighty tidal wave of mob rage. Todd blinked to see him go and cautiously stepped from the Limo and glanced with amazement where the angry mob had swarmed Francis.
None of them knew him, and it was easy for him to wade through the throng of people to the back entrance where a doubled security detail grudgingly allowed him access. Inside, Todd fixed his tie a moment before the door he’d just came through blow open by a mighty force and Francis blew inside, behind him a man shouted:
NATE HOLLIS: GET ME MY JOB BACK, FRANCIS YOU--
Francis slammed the door shut behind him with exhaustion and braced hard against the door to keep the angry mob at bay.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: *Out of Breath* Think I know that guy.
TODD REID: That's Nate Hollis, Francis.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Nigel.
TODD REID: Nate.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Right.
Todd watched Francis secure the lock on the door and breathe in and out to gather his bearings.His hair disheveled, his fur coat missing and his shirt loose, untucked, and raggled. Francis caught his breath.
TODD REID: What was all that?
Francis finally stood up with his hair still on end and unsuccessfully fixed the frayed collar of his shirt.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: What? That?
TODD REID: Yes. That angry group of protestors that just mobbed you, messed up your hair and clothes and stole your fur coat. Are those former AWE Employees protesting an AWE show, in the middle of winter?
Francis moves away from the door, half of his shirt still untucked.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: *Giggles obliviously* I don't know what you're talking about. You're crazy. *Straight-Faced* But come on. We’ve gotta go interrogate some wrestling hooligans. Find out who killed Thirteen.
TODD REID: She's dead?
Francis stopped and looked at Todd incredulously.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: She is?!
TODD REID: You said someone killed her.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Seriously? Well. We better work fast.
Todd blinks noticing Francis is missing one shoe, watching as he walks on one barefoot and one foot clad in shoes down the hallway. Todd can’t believe his luck. Francis stops before a door and motions for Todd to join him.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: They’re in there. They’re feisty. And evidently one, maybe both, is a murderer.
TODD REID: I'm not so certain Thirteen's dead, Francis.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: I'll be the judge of that! Now, which one do you want?
Todd considers as he casually approaches.
TODD REID: I guess I’ll take Burchill, if you want to—
Francis rolls his eyes annoyed.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: I meant do you want good cop or bad cop. *Chuckles, rolling up his sleeves and cracking his knuckles* Are you new? Look, I’ll take bad cop. You just try not to screw this up, all right? These two are wrestling tonight so we best expedite this quickly. Or it's your ass.
Francis shakes his head at Todd as they open the door, which splits off into two rooms. Todd exhales sharply and uncertainly enters into one room, Francis the other.
Fade in to a panoramic view of the packed Taft Colliseum where the spot lights pan the crowd, and fireworks explode at the entrance ramp. On the AlphaTron is an awesome montage of AWE highlights as wicked heavy metal music plays! Signs are held up and waved to be seen on camera!
Among so many others. We find ourselves at the announce desk where the ever-pleasant Nina Applebaum is joined by Bradley Stokes who seems to be unsuccessfully adjust his chair at the announce desk!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Welcome, AWEPhiles to another exciting edition of AWE’s Massacre! In spite of some protests over the holidays that may have given you cause to believe the AWE wasn’t still going strong, we’re still here, still motoring along in spite of some growing pains. Never fear, fight fans! I’m Nina Applebaum, and with me as always is—
Bradley’s fiddling grabs her attention and she watches him rise up higher than the desk, then lower so only his eyes are visible over the desk then back up.
NINA APPLEBAUM: What are you doing, Bradley?
BRAD STOKES: Son of a bitch, someone sat in my damn chair and ruined it.
NINA APPLEBAUM: I don’t see how that’s even possible.
BRAD STOKES: I had it adjusted just right, and now look? I can’t get it into my zone. I bet it was Nate Hollis or one of those angry protestors. Look, I didn’t make you lose your job. Quit shitting on my comfort. Call off the damn show till I get this fixed.
NINA APPLEBAUM: We’re not calling off the show.
BRAD STOKES: We are. Look at this.
The chair is so low only the top of his head is visible over the announce desk.
BRAD STOKES: I can’t see anything. How can I be expected to be my usual poignant self as a damn hobbit commentator, huh?
NINA APPLEBAUM: Perhaps it’s better this way. As I was saying, we’ve got a great show lined up.
Beside her Bradley rises up back to level on his chair and spins around on the swivel chair aimlessly.
BRAD STOKES: I’m still here, so even if the matches suck I’ll keep you entertained. It’s pretty damn amazing we scored the crowd we did in spite of the mob outside. As much as it pains me to admit it, the AWE is going strong. And we’ve got a few debuts that are bound to be boring as hell thus supporting the cause of the AWE naysyers. Call off the show.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Orrrrrrr, they could be spellbinding as hell, and we can, at least for now, put the protests out of our minds for an amazing night of wrestling. We’ll see Candice Turner and Brandon Collins square off against Bindy Trent.
BRAD STOKES: I’ve come to grips with her name not being Becky, Nina.
NINA APPLEBAUM: That’s great. We’ll see a member of the much-vaunted Clemmens clan in action as Dare Clemmens sees his first bit of AWE action against Trinity Jones. And we’ll see some newcomers to the Paramount Division see their first night of AWE action later on!
BRAD STOKES: We’ve also got a number 1 contendership match being guest refereed by the ever-frightful Stoker. No relation to me, by the way.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Indeed we do, Bradley. And, tonight, we’ll see the exciting outcomes of Round Three matches of the Alpha Cup tournament. We’re getting oh so close to determining who it is who will walk away with that trophy, and a guaranteed, money-in-the-bank shot at a title of the winner’s choosing. That will be decided at the upcoming supershow on February 5th, Executive Action!
BRAD STOKES: And, with luck, we’ll find out who else AWE management and stakeholders have slated to represent them in a ladder match taking place at that event.
NINA APPLEBAUM: That’s true. The owner of the AWE, the mysterious Mister Smith laid down the law last Massacre by decreeing that a ladder match would indeed take place, and that each of the four parties, Francis Ford Cuppola, Kassandrah, Thomas Shane Elliot and Thirteen, would have choose a competitor to compete for them in a ladder match where the winner would effectively to determine who controls this company.
BRAD STOKES: How are they gonna choose for Thirteen? Isn’t she dead?
NINA APPLEBAUM: That remains a mystery, Bradley. So far, all we know is Drew Stevenson will be on of those four as he is slated to represent Francis Ford Cuppola. And, it seems, we’re set to cut to pre-taped footage which will tell us who T.S. Elliot has chosen to represent him, fight fans.
BRAD STOKES: Better not be me.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Right… We take you there now.
Fade to the video playing on the AlphaTron.
BANG! BANG! BANG ME, BINDY!
GALE FORCE!
I DOUBLE DOG DARE YOU!
BENNY 4 PREZ!
FREE SALVO! FIGHT TYRANNY!
I WANT CANDY!
GALE FORCE!
I DOUBLE DOG DARE YOU!
BENNY 4 PREZ!
FREE SALVO! FIGHT TYRANNY!
I WANT CANDY!
Among so many others. We find ourselves at the announce desk where the ever-pleasant Nina Applebaum is joined by Bradley Stokes who seems to be unsuccessfully adjust his chair at the announce desk!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Welcome, AWEPhiles to another exciting edition of AWE’s Massacre! In spite of some protests over the holidays that may have given you cause to believe the AWE wasn’t still going strong, we’re still here, still motoring along in spite of some growing pains. Never fear, fight fans! I’m Nina Applebaum, and with me as always is—
Bradley’s fiddling grabs her attention and she watches him rise up higher than the desk, then lower so only his eyes are visible over the desk then back up.
NINA APPLEBAUM: What are you doing, Bradley?
BRAD STOKES: Son of a bitch, someone sat in my damn chair and ruined it.
NINA APPLEBAUM: I don’t see how that’s even possible.
BRAD STOKES: I had it adjusted just right, and now look? I can’t get it into my zone. I bet it was Nate Hollis or one of those angry protestors. Look, I didn’t make you lose your job. Quit shitting on my comfort. Call off the damn show till I get this fixed.
NINA APPLEBAUM: We’re not calling off the show.
BRAD STOKES: We are. Look at this.
The chair is so low only the top of his head is visible over the announce desk.
BRAD STOKES: I can’t see anything. How can I be expected to be my usual poignant self as a damn hobbit commentator, huh?
NINA APPLEBAUM: Perhaps it’s better this way. As I was saying, we’ve got a great show lined up.
Beside her Bradley rises up back to level on his chair and spins around on the swivel chair aimlessly.
BRAD STOKES: I’m still here, so even if the matches suck I’ll keep you entertained. It’s pretty damn amazing we scored the crowd we did in spite of the mob outside. As much as it pains me to admit it, the AWE is going strong. And we’ve got a few debuts that are bound to be boring as hell thus supporting the cause of the AWE naysyers. Call off the show.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Orrrrrrr, they could be spellbinding as hell, and we can, at least for now, put the protests out of our minds for an amazing night of wrestling. We’ll see Candice Turner and Brandon Collins square off against Bindy Trent.
BRAD STOKES: I’ve come to grips with her name not being Becky, Nina.
NINA APPLEBAUM: That’s great. We’ll see a member of the much-vaunted Clemmens clan in action as Dare Clemmens sees his first bit of AWE action against Trinity Jones. And we’ll see some newcomers to the Paramount Division see their first night of AWE action later on!
BRAD STOKES: We’ve also got a number 1 contendership match being guest refereed by the ever-frightful Stoker. No relation to me, by the way.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Indeed we do, Bradley. And, tonight, we’ll see the exciting outcomes of Round Three matches of the Alpha Cup tournament. We’re getting oh so close to determining who it is who will walk away with that trophy, and a guaranteed, money-in-the-bank shot at a title of the winner’s choosing. That will be decided at the upcoming supershow on February 5th, Executive Action!
BRAD STOKES: And, with luck, we’ll find out who else AWE management and stakeholders have slated to represent them in a ladder match taking place at that event.
NINA APPLEBAUM: That’s true. The owner of the AWE, the mysterious Mister Smith laid down the law last Massacre by decreeing that a ladder match would indeed take place, and that each of the four parties, Francis Ford Cuppola, Kassandrah, Thomas Shane Elliot and Thirteen, would have choose a competitor to compete for them in a ladder match where the winner would effectively to determine who controls this company.
BRAD STOKES: How are they gonna choose for Thirteen? Isn’t she dead?
NINA APPLEBAUM: That remains a mystery, Bradley. So far, all we know is Drew Stevenson will be on of those four as he is slated to represent Francis Ford Cuppola. And, it seems, we’re set to cut to pre-taped footage which will tell us who T.S. Elliot has chosen to represent him, fight fans.
BRAD STOKES: Better not be me.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Right… We take you there now.
Fade to the video playing on the AlphaTron.
Over her shoulder looking out the window onto the city. He stood behind her in the rocking chair facing the window shrouded in the darkness of his office, only the desk lamp provided light. His hands were upon the silent woman’s shoulders neatly fixing the floral print dress sleeves onto her shoulders and ensuring the bun in her hair remained immaculate.
THOMAS SHANE ELLIOT: I hope you enjoy the view, mother.
He smiled. His hands caressed her hair lovingly before there was a knock on his door startling Thomas Shane Elliot where he stood. He straightened his tie, turned and took a seat at his desk clearing his throat.
THOMAS SHANE ELLIOT: Come in.
The door slowly opened as Zack Fantana stepped into the office with the Resilience Championship stapled to his side as it had been in every social gathering he'd attended for the past two weeks. T.S. smiled at its presence. In Zack’s left hand he carried the silver attaché case that had served as a placeholder for the title in the early days of the A.W.E. Zack had been eager to put it to use in a business setting ever since. Thus far, he'd only gotten to use it as a lunch box.
ZACK FANTANA: Good evening, Mr. Elliot.
Elliot nodded, steadfastly eyeing Zack. Zack was still uninformed of the nature of this in-person meeting with the A.W.E.'s Chief Operating Officer, but his ego didn't require much convincing to believe that he deserved a seat at the table - or the desk, as it were. Before T.S. had the opportunity to offer his guest a chair, Fantana noisily drug the closest chair across the hardwood floor and over to T.S.'s desk. The clatter from the case being placed on the desk had finally gotten T.S. to blink. Zack removed a small legal pad and pen from the case and set them neatly on the table before folding his hands on the desk.
ZACK FANTANA: So... 2017. Where do we begin?
A tiny smile cracked on T.S.’ lips as Zack opened the legal pad and clicked his pen, scanning his notes.
ZACK FANTANA: Or, I can start with the vision board, if you wish?
Zack reached inside the case once again but T.S. stopped him by simply holding up his index finger and inhaled sharply as he leaned back in the chair, the lamplight ceasing to illuminate his features.
THOMAS SHANE ELLIOT: We’re entering a brief period of uncertainty, Zack. While I do the necessary things that must be done to ensure the purity of the essence of this company, I need a steady hand in the ring taking care of my interests. This upcoming ladder match, for instance. Would you believe they’re making me choose someone to represent me for control of a company I’m already in control of, Zack?
He’d leaned forward to rest an elbow on the desk and rest his finger on his chin to regard Zack officiously.
ZACK FANTANA: But if you are in charge, who are 'they'?
THOMAS SHANE ELLIOT: Precisely.
It was a genuine question but Zack quickly discovered he had accidentally massaged Elliot's ego and decided to see where that took him.
ZACK FANTANA: They!
Fantana shook his fist at the sky.
ZACK FANTANA: Who are 'they' to tell you how things will be done? You're the one who put the A.W.E. on the map! Where would this company even be without you? Likely lying in the same ditch as Thirteen. Allegedly.
With him leaned backward, the chair T.S. sat in made a slight ticking noise as he stared through the darkness without blinking at Zack. Slowly, T.S. shifted towards his desk into the dim lamplight to regard Zack callously. Zack cleared his throat and slid his chair closer to the desk, lowering the intonation of his voice.
ZACK FANTANA: You're not the only one who's been undermined by the remainder of the A.W.E. board of directors, sir. I spent six weeks as champion without a title around my waist. Six weeks watching Mystery Inc. bungle their search efforts by handing out maple syrup and fraternizing with Blue Oyster Cult fans. I, of course, bit my tongue like the team player that I am and added prestige to a belt that had never seen the light of day. But do not mistake my silence for ignorance, Mr. Elliot. I saw who was taking the issue seriously all along. It was you. They left it up to you to save the day once again. You are the one who prioritized the search for the belt and ultimately you were the one who gave me the crowning moment I deserved.
Fantana leaned back in his chair.
ZACK FANTANA: So if you are asking me to represent you in the ladder match at Executive Action, the answer is yes. If they want to ignore your credentials and leave the fate of the company up to a ladder match... well, I think you know the only way to ensure that you come out of this as the victor is to throw-in with me, because as I've proven over the course of the last two months, I always find a way to get mine.
Zack taps the Resilience Championship casually resting over his shoulder.T.S sat carefully measuring Zack as he spoke.
THOMAS SHANE ELLIOT: You’re a smart man, Zack. Like me. I like doing business with smart men like me.
A sound no one could hear seemed to startle T.S. towards craning his neck into the darkness where the woman’s figure sat quietly in the rocking chair.
THOMAS SHANE ELLIOT: Hang on a second, Zack. What’s that, mother? *Listens* Who, Zack?
T.S. looked back at Zack with newfound esteem in his eyes.
THOMAS SHANE ELLIOT: He is quite handsome, isn't he?
T.S. smiled at Zack in a moment of thoughtful estimation.
THOMAS SHANE ELLIOT: Then it’s settled. You’ll fight for me at Executive Action and secure me my company.
T.S. smiled and rose from his seat to offer a hand to Zack. Fantana quickly stood up from his chair.
ZACK FANTANA: She has a good eye, that one.
Zack laughed unnaturally as he shook T.S.’s hand firmly.
ZACK FANTANA: The fate of the company is in good hands, sir, and you’ve just ensured that will remain the case long after Executive Action. Just as it should be, with you holding the keys to the kingdom and me carrying the Resilience Championship in one hand and the Alpha Cup in the next. We’re about to put this entire company on notice, sir.
Zack collected the silver case off the table and nodded to the COO and then to his mother.
ZACK FANTANA: Mrs. Elliot. It’s been a pleasure.
With that, Fantana buttoned up his suit jacket and headed for the door.
THOMAS SHANE ELLIOT: I hope you enjoy the view, mother.
He smiled. His hands caressed her hair lovingly before there was a knock on his door startling Thomas Shane Elliot where he stood. He straightened his tie, turned and took a seat at his desk clearing his throat.
THOMAS SHANE ELLIOT: Come in.
The door slowly opened as Zack Fantana stepped into the office with the Resilience Championship stapled to his side as it had been in every social gathering he'd attended for the past two weeks. T.S. smiled at its presence. In Zack’s left hand he carried the silver attaché case that had served as a placeholder for the title in the early days of the A.W.E. Zack had been eager to put it to use in a business setting ever since. Thus far, he'd only gotten to use it as a lunch box.
ZACK FANTANA: Good evening, Mr. Elliot.
Elliot nodded, steadfastly eyeing Zack. Zack was still uninformed of the nature of this in-person meeting with the A.W.E.'s Chief Operating Officer, but his ego didn't require much convincing to believe that he deserved a seat at the table - or the desk, as it were. Before T.S. had the opportunity to offer his guest a chair, Fantana noisily drug the closest chair across the hardwood floor and over to T.S.'s desk. The clatter from the case being placed on the desk had finally gotten T.S. to blink. Zack removed a small legal pad and pen from the case and set them neatly on the table before folding his hands on the desk.
ZACK FANTANA: So... 2017. Where do we begin?
A tiny smile cracked on T.S.’ lips as Zack opened the legal pad and clicked his pen, scanning his notes.
ZACK FANTANA: Or, I can start with the vision board, if you wish?
Zack reached inside the case once again but T.S. stopped him by simply holding up his index finger and inhaled sharply as he leaned back in the chair, the lamplight ceasing to illuminate his features.
THOMAS SHANE ELLIOT: We’re entering a brief period of uncertainty, Zack. While I do the necessary things that must be done to ensure the purity of the essence of this company, I need a steady hand in the ring taking care of my interests. This upcoming ladder match, for instance. Would you believe they’re making me choose someone to represent me for control of a company I’m already in control of, Zack?
He’d leaned forward to rest an elbow on the desk and rest his finger on his chin to regard Zack officiously.
ZACK FANTANA: But if you are in charge, who are 'they'?
THOMAS SHANE ELLIOT: Precisely.
It was a genuine question but Zack quickly discovered he had accidentally massaged Elliot's ego and decided to see where that took him.
ZACK FANTANA: They!
Fantana shook his fist at the sky.
ZACK FANTANA: Who are 'they' to tell you how things will be done? You're the one who put the A.W.E. on the map! Where would this company even be without you? Likely lying in the same ditch as Thirteen. Allegedly.
With him leaned backward, the chair T.S. sat in made a slight ticking noise as he stared through the darkness without blinking at Zack. Slowly, T.S. shifted towards his desk into the dim lamplight to regard Zack callously. Zack cleared his throat and slid his chair closer to the desk, lowering the intonation of his voice.
ZACK FANTANA: You're not the only one who's been undermined by the remainder of the A.W.E. board of directors, sir. I spent six weeks as champion without a title around my waist. Six weeks watching Mystery Inc. bungle their search efforts by handing out maple syrup and fraternizing with Blue Oyster Cult fans. I, of course, bit my tongue like the team player that I am and added prestige to a belt that had never seen the light of day. But do not mistake my silence for ignorance, Mr. Elliot. I saw who was taking the issue seriously all along. It was you. They left it up to you to save the day once again. You are the one who prioritized the search for the belt and ultimately you were the one who gave me the crowning moment I deserved.
Fantana leaned back in his chair.
ZACK FANTANA: So if you are asking me to represent you in the ladder match at Executive Action, the answer is yes. If they want to ignore your credentials and leave the fate of the company up to a ladder match... well, I think you know the only way to ensure that you come out of this as the victor is to throw-in with me, because as I've proven over the course of the last two months, I always find a way to get mine.
Zack taps the Resilience Championship casually resting over his shoulder.T.S sat carefully measuring Zack as he spoke.
THOMAS SHANE ELLIOT: You’re a smart man, Zack. Like me. I like doing business with smart men like me.
A sound no one could hear seemed to startle T.S. towards craning his neck into the darkness where the woman’s figure sat quietly in the rocking chair.
THOMAS SHANE ELLIOT: Hang on a second, Zack. What’s that, mother? *Listens* Who, Zack?
T.S. looked back at Zack with newfound esteem in his eyes.
THOMAS SHANE ELLIOT: He is quite handsome, isn't he?
T.S. smiled at Zack in a moment of thoughtful estimation.
THOMAS SHANE ELLIOT: Then it’s settled. You’ll fight for me at Executive Action and secure me my company.
T.S. smiled and rose from his seat to offer a hand to Zack. Fantana quickly stood up from his chair.
ZACK FANTANA: She has a good eye, that one.
Zack laughed unnaturally as he shook T.S.’s hand firmly.
ZACK FANTANA: The fate of the company is in good hands, sir, and you’ve just ensured that will remain the case long after Executive Action. Just as it should be, with you holding the keys to the kingdom and me carrying the Resilience Championship in one hand and the Alpha Cup in the next. We’re about to put this entire company on notice, sir.
Zack collected the silver case off the table and nodded to the COO and then to his mother.
ZACK FANTANA: Mrs. Elliot. It’s been a pleasure.
With that, Fantana buttoned up his suit jacket and headed for the door.
BRAD STOKES: And would you look at that, another BRILLIANT maneuver by your hero and mine, Thomas Shane Elliot. For the life of me, I can’t figure out why those assholes outside are even protesting.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Mr. Elliot’s making moves, that’s for sure.
BRAD STOKES: He just added chocolate to milk, Nina. That ladder match had one guaranteed competitor: Drew Stevenson, thanks to his win over Carmen Cambridge. Now, it has two, and what an addition the Resilience Champion, and soon to be Alpha Cup winner will be! I’m gonna send some friends a text message and tell them to tune in, tonight’s going to be glorious. Oh, hang on… someone sent me a pic. It's downloading.
Inside the ring Dare Clemmens and Trinity Jones circle one another before a quick collar and elbow tie up that sees Dare luck out pitting Trinity into a side headlock right into a takedown!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Indeed. And with that announcement out of the bag, we turn our attention to the ring where we’re set to get our first look at the younger sibling of the Clemmens clan, Dare Clemmens taking on—
BRAD STOKES: SWEET MERCIFUL SON OF A BITCH! SOMEONE SENT ME A PICTURE OF THEIR DICK, NINA!
NINA APPLEBAUM: What—*looks at Brad's phone* OH! My…
BRAD STOKES: WHY?! WHY?! WHY?! WHY?! WHY?!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Says it was meant to send to someone named Erica, from… Dare Clemmens.
BRAD STOKES: THAT PUFFTER FIGHTING IN THE RING?! WHY’D HE SEND ME A PICTURE OF HIS DICK?! WHAT DID I EVER DO THIS GUY?!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Bradley, you’re shouting.
BRAD STOKES: My phone’s contaminated, Nina. It’s got a phallus on it. This is the end for me. Tell my fans I love them.
After Trinity has wrestled free of Dare, she lays a series of stiff kicks immediately to Dare’s spine and then surprised him with a german suplex! She goes for a cover!
1…
TW— KICKOUT!
NINA APPLEBAUM: While my colleague presumably searches for a hazmat suit, inside the ring Trinity Jones has gotten the early advantage on Dare Clemmens.
BRAD STOKES: Check it out, Nina. Stole some dry wipes from some chick’s bag. Gotta disinfect the dick off my eyes.
NINA APPLEBAUM: I don’t think you’re supposed to do that. There’s a chemical—
BRAD STOKES: If you can think of a better way to get residual dick picture out of my eyes, I’d love to hear it, Einstein. Still can’t figure out how that kid got my number, or why he calls me Erica. I’m BRAD. Nice to meet ya.
Trinity has Dare rebounding off the ropes and surprises him with a sunset flip!
1..
2..
NINA APPLEBAUM: Another kickout by Dare Clemmens.
BRAD STOKES: Not liking this kid. I don’t care if he is a Clemmens. Nobody sends me a dick pic and gets away with it, even if it was a remarkably well developed photo. NICE SHOT, KID! Just don’t get cocky. I’ll kill him.
Trinity has Dare up once more and slammed a series of stiff shots into Dare before once more rebounding Dare off the ropes, only this time he slams a shining wizard into Trinity Jones and topples her to the canvas!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Dare’s back in this thing. He just needed a few moments to get his head together.
BRAD STOKES: You know, I’ve had some time to consider. Now that I’ve seen him naked, maybe I’ve decided he’s not half bad.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Really?
BRAD STOKES: I can admire a man’s physical aspect without wanting to have sex with him, Nina. I’m not gay, but if I were I'd have sex with this Dare kid. Plus, I admire that this Dare kid’s got the gall to call me Erica. Last time someone did that was in college.
NINA APPLEBAUM: ….
BRAD STOKES: It was a confusing time. Maybe I should call those guys up later, see how they’re doing.
Dare has risen and climbed the turnbuckle and launched into a shooting star press that Trinity Jones denies by rolling out of the way and Dare slams hard down onto the canvas! Trinity drags herself to her feet and slams an elbow down hard into Dare’s spine!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Trinity Jones has gone to work targeting Dare Clemmens’ back so far tonight, and it’s get an otherwise promising young speedster grounded.
BRAD STOKES: Trinity Jones is pretty clever.
Trinity has Dare locked in a painfully agonizing camel clutch, torquing back further on his spine before Dare manages to drag himself to his feet and slam Trinity Jones down hard on the canvas!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Height and weight advantage working for Dare right there!
Dare gets to his feet and brings Trinity with him and stuns her with a series of stiff shots before slamming her down with a gutwrench suplex!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Dare with the cover!
1…
2…
THR---
BRAD STOKES: Kickout there by Trinity Jones!
Dare is on his feet rather quickly and slams a standing moonsault down onto Trinity Jones!
NINA APPLEBAUM: That one had to hurt. Trinity’s in trouble!
Dare now brings Trinity back up to her feet and makes a show of taunting her.
BRAD STOKES: Ha! This kid’s got pizzazz, Nina.
Trinity’s obviously not as stunned as Dare thinks and lays into him with a surprise side thrust kick that knocks Dare backwards, stumbling into the ropes.
NINA APPLEBAUM: She calls that one the Valley Forge!
Trinity grits her teeth and moves in, trapping Dare’s arms and SLAMMING him down into the canvas with a belly to belly suplex!
NINA APPLEBAUM: The Peach Pit! Trinity Jones with the cover!
1…
2..
THR---
BRAD STOKES: Close call!
Trinity points to the Ref as though he’s made a late call and tries to urge him into calling it closer as Dare struggles with extreme difficulty to his feet.
BRAD STOKES: She’s probably right. That referee’s got no rhythm. Might need to send him one of Dare’s dick pictures. Get him properly motivated. Correct his vision.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Gonna blind the poor guy.
BRAD STOKES: Never assume. I’ve seen this thing and I’m a convert. I’m like Paul on the road to Damascus after seeing that dick pic. I have seen the light, Nina.
NINA APPLEBAUM: This is getting weird.
Trinity has laid out her rather peaceable instruction to Theo Refano and turned right into a high impact gore from Dare Clemmens!
BRAD STOKES: He just made a bitch!!!
The crowd is on it’s feet as Dare is as well, pacing the ring with a look of determination on his face as he forces a severely stunned Trinity Jones up to her feet into an inverted DDT and then SLAMS her back down hard on her head!
BRAD STOKES: The Eat a dick! Loving this kid’s finishing move names!
NINA APPLEBAUM: The cover for Dare!
1..
2..
3!!
DING! DING! DING!
“Complexity” By the Eagles of Death Metal kicks onto the speakers as Dare Clemmens bounces exuberantly up to his feet and avoids having to touch Theo Refano!
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: Here is your winner... DARE.... CLEMMENSSSSSS!!!!!
NINA APPLEBAUM: And with that, Dare Clemmens has his first victory in the AWE.
BRAD STOKES: And Trinity Jones suffers another setback.
NINA APPLEBAUM: It’s not a setback, Bradley. It’s a bump in the road.
BRAD STOKES: Right, well, whatever you want to call that, I have word we’re going backstage to check on the old fart and that new guy as they interrogate the in-ring talent.
The camera cuts backstage.
With Ana seated at the archetypal interrogation room with a lone headlamp hovering above the table like the Sword of Damocles, Francis entered already loosening his collar.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: All right, Alana--
ANASTASIA HAYDEN: Ana.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: I know that, you FOOL.
Francis glares angrily at her before smirking brilliantly to himself, fixing the folding chair and sat in it awkwardly staring at Ana. Moments passed before a steady drone of heavy breathing, or snoring, hard to tell which, kicked up in the old man’s chest. Moments passed with Ana watching Francis stare back at her like he were in a pool of the deepest of thoughts. A frown grew on her brow as he stared back at her before she realized he was snoring.
ANASTASIA HAYDEN: *Ahem*
Francis jolted awake and out of his seat, immediately pointing an accusing finger at her.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: I will solve this case regardless of whatever wrenches you choose to throw in the gears. Mark my words.
He began pacing around the table imposing over Ana as he did so.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Yes. I had my lawyer bail you out, presumably at least, in order to solve this murder, and I will solve it. I will not rest until--
More snoring. Ana looked up at Francis, who had closed his eyes while standing next to her. Admittedly, she was rather impressed with his ability to sleep while standing, but given their current situation, it certainly wasn’t the time for amazement.
ANASTASIA HAYDEN: *AHEM*
Another jolt woke Francis up, arm straightened still pointing accusingly at Ana like he’d never fallen asleep. He got in close to antagonize her.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: I’ve seen JFK, you know.
He glared into her eyes as though he’d just dropped the biggest truth bomb of either of their career. He let it sink in before pushing away from the table and continuing his slow shark-like circle of the seated Anastasia Hayden.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: FACT! The Warren Commission wasn’t even a real Commission. Did you know that? Huh? Did you? I bet you did.
He continued.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: FACT! There are the exact same amount of letters in the name of Abraham Lincoln as there are in the name John F. Kennedy. I bet you knew that, too, didn’t you?
He eyed her like he’d dropped another bomb.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: FACT! The Civil War wasn’t even about slavery. Bet you knew that, TOO, didn’t you? DIDN’T YOU?!
Francis stood finally on the other side of the table officiously.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: There’s a lot of things wrong with your story, Ana Hayden, if that is your real name. Firstly the fact of your innocence, but we’ll get to that after a careful examination of the facts. That is what we have here: FACTS. First, we know that Thirteen has gone missing. Second, we know that no one knows where she is. Third, we know that Thirteen doesn’t know where she is, otherwise she would have told us in a letter, likely a block-worded kidnap letter, as those are the most commonly used letters in cases such as this. The first such time a block-noted kidnapping letter was used was in 1836 at the wedding of Queen Anne and Prince Phillip of---
The scene fades….
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: All right, Alana--
ANASTASIA HAYDEN: Ana.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: I know that, you FOOL.
Francis glares angrily at her before smirking brilliantly to himself, fixing the folding chair and sat in it awkwardly staring at Ana. Moments passed before a steady drone of heavy breathing, or snoring, hard to tell which, kicked up in the old man’s chest. Moments passed with Ana watching Francis stare back at her like he were in a pool of the deepest of thoughts. A frown grew on her brow as he stared back at her before she realized he was snoring.
ANASTASIA HAYDEN: *Ahem*
Francis jolted awake and out of his seat, immediately pointing an accusing finger at her.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: I will solve this case regardless of whatever wrenches you choose to throw in the gears. Mark my words.
He began pacing around the table imposing over Ana as he did so.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Yes. I had my lawyer bail you out, presumably at least, in order to solve this murder, and I will solve it. I will not rest until--
More snoring. Ana looked up at Francis, who had closed his eyes while standing next to her. Admittedly, she was rather impressed with his ability to sleep while standing, but given their current situation, it certainly wasn’t the time for amazement.
ANASTASIA HAYDEN: *AHEM*
Another jolt woke Francis up, arm straightened still pointing accusingly at Ana like he’d never fallen asleep. He got in close to antagonize her.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: I’ve seen JFK, you know.
He glared into her eyes as though he’d just dropped the biggest truth bomb of either of their career. He let it sink in before pushing away from the table and continuing his slow shark-like circle of the seated Anastasia Hayden.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: FACT! The Warren Commission wasn’t even a real Commission. Did you know that? Huh? Did you? I bet you did.
He continued.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: FACT! There are the exact same amount of letters in the name of Abraham Lincoln as there are in the name John F. Kennedy. I bet you knew that, too, didn’t you?
He eyed her like he’d dropped another bomb.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: FACT! The Civil War wasn’t even about slavery. Bet you knew that, TOO, didn’t you? DIDN’T YOU?!
Francis stood finally on the other side of the table officiously.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: There’s a lot of things wrong with your story, Ana Hayden, if that is your real name. Firstly the fact of your innocence, but we’ll get to that after a careful examination of the facts. That is what we have here: FACTS. First, we know that Thirteen has gone missing. Second, we know that no one knows where she is. Third, we know that Thirteen doesn’t know where she is, otherwise she would have told us in a letter, likely a block-worded kidnap letter, as those are the most commonly used letters in cases such as this. The first such time a block-noted kidnapping letter was used was in 1836 at the wedding of Queen Anne and Prince Phillip of---
The scene fades….
Jessie Roberts VS. Cameron "Archangel" Blake VS. Corey Sanders VS. Hubert Smalls
NINA APPLEBAUM: Well, it looks like Mr. Cuppola’s got to the bottom of… whatever that was, exactly.
BRAD STOKES: The case, Nina. He’s actually a genius, don’t let the whole senile old man routine fool you. Like this Hubert Smalls fellow. Don’t be fooled by the act. That guy’s actually--
NINA APPLEBAUM: Uh… Bradley, we’re on national television. Please don’t say anything inflammatory.
BRAD STOKES: What? That’s not his natural hair color, Nina. I have pictures that blow the whole thing wide open.
NINA APPLEBAUM: What was initially scheduled as a fourway match has turned into a threeway brawl between Cameron Blake, Hubert Smalls—
BRAD STOKES: He’s a redhead!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Yes, and Jessie Roberts is in this match looking to score a win.
Roberts comes out swinging, surprising Cameron Blake with a running hurricanrana that slams the returning ring veteran into the canvas! And Jessie Roberts is on her feet in an instant slamming her fists into Hubert Smalls backing him into the ropes before whipping for the opposite ropes only to trip him up before releasing him to charge the ring boards!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Jessie Roberts comes out swinging before either of these men have a chance to get comfortable inside of that ring.
BRAD STOKES: It’s like someone lit a firecracker under her! I’ll be right back though, Nina. Don’t go anywhere!
NINA APPLEBAUM: What?! Where are you—okay… my announce partner has left me here and is going closer to ringide, hopefully not to bother Cameron’ Blake’s lovely friend Mya Audrey Carter… Oh no…
Brad has made a beeline right for Tail Earnhardt, Hubert Smalls’ cat resting comfortably at ringside inside its carrier. Inside the ring, Jessie Roberts has Hubert Smalls back up to his feet, but Hubert halts her momentum by dipping under a missed right hook and levels Roberts onto his shoulders and slammed her back down in a samoan drop!
Brad Stokes returns to the announce table with Hubert’s cat carrier.
NINA APPLEBAUM: What are you doing?
BRAD STOKES: I’m taking care of the cat, Nina. Shut up. He’s not going to mind. Look? He’s currently dismantling Jessie Roberts or something. Here, kitty kitty!
While Brad lovingly pays attention to Tail Earnhardt, Hubert is back to his feet and met with a wicked snapmare by Cameron Blake who expertly transitions the move, first into a dragon sleeper then up into an inverted suplex clutch, about to slam Hubert but Hubert deftly slips free of Cameron, turns just in time to see Jessie Roberts slam Cameron Blake down across her hip in a side backbreaker!
NINA APPLEBAUM: These three are almost trading off control of the flow of this contest!
BRAD STOKES: You think Hubert will mind if I pet him?!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Please don’t, Bradley. Just call the match for once.
BRAD STOKES: Everyone loves cats, Nina. Wrestling is for pussies. See what I did there? I love this cat.
Brad and Tail Earnhardt bond as Jessie Roberts now spars with Hubert Smalls! Jessie Roberts gets the upper hand, unloading swift strikes that threaten to overwhelm Hubert, but Cameron Blake intervenes with a standing drop kick that ploughs Jessie forward pinning Hubert into the corner! Blake rapidly gets to his feet, gains some distance and rushes them SPLASHING them both into the corner and bouncing back to roll his neck and prepare for his next offensive.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Cameron Blake is rightly capitalizing on the numbers in this match, using both of them against one another.
Hubert, surprisingly, powers out from the corner bowling over Jessie Roberts and shoulder blocking Cameron Blake which stuns the Archangel into the corner! Hubert’s slams a right and left combo, slamming a knee into Blake, then an elbow. All enough to leave Blake stunned in the corner, before his eyes drift towards the announce table where Brad Stokes has seemingly commandeered his cat.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Oh no.
BRAD STOKES: What? He’s not gonna poop, is he?
Hubert’s face is a mixture of concern, confusion, and interest.
NINA APPLEBAUM: He’s worried about his cat.
BRAD STOKES: Who is? Oh..
He leaves Blake mid-punch and moves towards the ring ropes to look out at the announce table watching.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Bradley, put the cat back, you’re—
Jessie Roberts takes advantage of the distracted Hubert Smalls and rolls him up in a small package only for Cameron Blake to interrupt the pin before the ref can slide down to the canvas for the count.
NINA APPLEBAUM: You DO realize you’re affecting Hubert Smalls’ concentration, right?
BRAD STOKES: It’s not my fault he brought a cute cat down to the ring, Nina. This one’s on him.
Cameron Blake meets Jessie Roberts as she climbs to her feet and aims a discus clothesline that takes Blake’s head off! Hubert Smalls climbs to his feet as Roberts goes for the cover!
1..
2..
THR--
NINA APPLEBAUM: Kickout by Blake! And Hubert Smalls doesn’t seem to know what to do about you and his cat, Bradley. Please put it back, he could have broken up that pin.
BRAD STOKES: He could have, yes. I’m not TELLING him to look at me. *Waves* Hey, Hubert! See? I’m magnetic.
Hubert seems to have ditched the match and moved once more to the ropes to watch Stokes handling Tail Earnhardt as Roberts drags Cameron Blake up to his feet and unloads a series of stiff strikes that keep the Archangel off-balance.
NINA APPLEBAUM: PUT. THE CAT. BACK!
Hubert slips under the ropes and moves for the announce table.
BRAD STOKES: Hey buddy! Loving this cat!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Put him back! Hubert needs to focus on his match.
Hubert’s helping Brad pet Tail Earnhardt, whose purrs come through the microphones at the announce desk. In the ring, Roberts has slammed Cameron Blake down with a series of german suplexes! She goes for the bridge cover!
1…
2…
3--
Out of the corner of Theo Refano’s eye he sees Audrey Mya Carter climb onto the ring apron which distracts the ref from his count.
NINA APPLEBAUM: We’re missing all of the action, Bradley! Cameron Blake’s disciple appears to be distracting the ref.
BRAD STOKES: This cat’s amazing, Nina. Hubert’s amazing. Everything is awesome right now.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Meanwhile, in the actual WRESTLING match… Jessie Roberts just WON this match but the ref didn’t count it!
Jessie Roberts has frustratedly approached Theo Refano who has managed to talk Mya Carter away from the ring apron. Cameron Blake spies where Hubert Smalls is at the announce table helping Brad Stokes get Tail Earnhardt back inside of the cat carrier with extra love and kisses, before moving in and surprising Jessie with a german suplex of his own! And another! And another! And another before bridging into a pin with Roberts’ shoulders square on the canvas! This time Refano is there to make the count!
NINA APPLEBAUM: THE ARMAGEDDON! CAMERON BLAKE COULD WIN THIS THING!
1…
2…
3!!
The opening notes of Linkin Park’s “In the End” spur the crowd to respond as Cameron Blake inhales sharply as he rises to his feet where his ‘disciple’ has entered the ring to congratulate him. At ringside, Hubert Smalls looks around with dismay, then into the ring with a shocked look of disappointment.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Cameron Blake just ran away with this match.
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: HERE IS YOUR WINNER…. The Archangel… CAMERON…. BLAKE!
Hubert looks aghast to Brad Stokes who shrugs apologetically.
BRAD STOKES: Sorry, buddy! Not like I meant to do that. *Aside to Nina* Did I just cost this kid his match?
NINA APPLEBAUM: You may very well have, Bradley.
Brad winces and looks to Hubert who swallows hard and collects the cat carrier.
BRAD STOKES: Oh… man.. I feel horrible, look at him.
NINA APPLEBAUM: YES. While Cameron Blake and his ‘disciple’ celebrate Cameron’s first win in AWE, Hubert has missed this first opportunity! And it’s literally your fault, Bradley.
BRAD STOKES: Why you gotta make me feel guilty, dude?
Hubert rather nobly looks to the ring in a silent exchange of glances between he and Cameron Blake before he bows his head and storms up the ramp to the backstage area.
BRAD STOKES: Man… I really screwed up. That Dare Clemmens dick pic got to me, guy.
NINA APPLEBAUM: It is what it is. A win for Cameron Blake.
BRAD STOKES: I gotta make some changes with my life…
NINA APPLEBAUM: You’re going to forget you said that in ten minutes. You probably MEANT to do that just now.
BRAD STOKES: Do what? What happened? What’s next? Where are we?
NINA APPLEBAUM: I rest my case.
BRAD STOKES: The case, Nina. He’s actually a genius, don’t let the whole senile old man routine fool you. Like this Hubert Smalls fellow. Don’t be fooled by the act. That guy’s actually--
NINA APPLEBAUM: Uh… Bradley, we’re on national television. Please don’t say anything inflammatory.
BRAD STOKES: What? That’s not his natural hair color, Nina. I have pictures that blow the whole thing wide open.
NINA APPLEBAUM: What was initially scheduled as a fourway match has turned into a threeway brawl between Cameron Blake, Hubert Smalls—
BRAD STOKES: He’s a redhead!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Yes, and Jessie Roberts is in this match looking to score a win.
Roberts comes out swinging, surprising Cameron Blake with a running hurricanrana that slams the returning ring veteran into the canvas! And Jessie Roberts is on her feet in an instant slamming her fists into Hubert Smalls backing him into the ropes before whipping for the opposite ropes only to trip him up before releasing him to charge the ring boards!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Jessie Roberts comes out swinging before either of these men have a chance to get comfortable inside of that ring.
BRAD STOKES: It’s like someone lit a firecracker under her! I’ll be right back though, Nina. Don’t go anywhere!
NINA APPLEBAUM: What?! Where are you—okay… my announce partner has left me here and is going closer to ringide, hopefully not to bother Cameron’ Blake’s lovely friend Mya Audrey Carter… Oh no…
Brad has made a beeline right for Tail Earnhardt, Hubert Smalls’ cat resting comfortably at ringside inside its carrier. Inside the ring, Jessie Roberts has Hubert Smalls back up to his feet, but Hubert halts her momentum by dipping under a missed right hook and levels Roberts onto his shoulders and slammed her back down in a samoan drop!
Brad Stokes returns to the announce table with Hubert’s cat carrier.
NINA APPLEBAUM: What are you doing?
BRAD STOKES: I’m taking care of the cat, Nina. Shut up. He’s not going to mind. Look? He’s currently dismantling Jessie Roberts or something. Here, kitty kitty!
While Brad lovingly pays attention to Tail Earnhardt, Hubert is back to his feet and met with a wicked snapmare by Cameron Blake who expertly transitions the move, first into a dragon sleeper then up into an inverted suplex clutch, about to slam Hubert but Hubert deftly slips free of Cameron, turns just in time to see Jessie Roberts slam Cameron Blake down across her hip in a side backbreaker!
NINA APPLEBAUM: These three are almost trading off control of the flow of this contest!
BRAD STOKES: You think Hubert will mind if I pet him?!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Please don’t, Bradley. Just call the match for once.
BRAD STOKES: Everyone loves cats, Nina. Wrestling is for pussies. See what I did there? I love this cat.
Brad and Tail Earnhardt bond as Jessie Roberts now spars with Hubert Smalls! Jessie Roberts gets the upper hand, unloading swift strikes that threaten to overwhelm Hubert, but Cameron Blake intervenes with a standing drop kick that ploughs Jessie forward pinning Hubert into the corner! Blake rapidly gets to his feet, gains some distance and rushes them SPLASHING them both into the corner and bouncing back to roll his neck and prepare for his next offensive.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Cameron Blake is rightly capitalizing on the numbers in this match, using both of them against one another.
Hubert, surprisingly, powers out from the corner bowling over Jessie Roberts and shoulder blocking Cameron Blake which stuns the Archangel into the corner! Hubert’s slams a right and left combo, slamming a knee into Blake, then an elbow. All enough to leave Blake stunned in the corner, before his eyes drift towards the announce table where Brad Stokes has seemingly commandeered his cat.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Oh no.
BRAD STOKES: What? He’s not gonna poop, is he?
Hubert’s face is a mixture of concern, confusion, and interest.
NINA APPLEBAUM: He’s worried about his cat.
BRAD STOKES: Who is? Oh..
He leaves Blake mid-punch and moves towards the ring ropes to look out at the announce table watching.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Bradley, put the cat back, you’re—
Jessie Roberts takes advantage of the distracted Hubert Smalls and rolls him up in a small package only for Cameron Blake to interrupt the pin before the ref can slide down to the canvas for the count.
NINA APPLEBAUM: You DO realize you’re affecting Hubert Smalls’ concentration, right?
BRAD STOKES: It’s not my fault he brought a cute cat down to the ring, Nina. This one’s on him.
Cameron Blake meets Jessie Roberts as she climbs to her feet and aims a discus clothesline that takes Blake’s head off! Hubert Smalls climbs to his feet as Roberts goes for the cover!
1..
2..
THR--
NINA APPLEBAUM: Kickout by Blake! And Hubert Smalls doesn’t seem to know what to do about you and his cat, Bradley. Please put it back, he could have broken up that pin.
BRAD STOKES: He could have, yes. I’m not TELLING him to look at me. *Waves* Hey, Hubert! See? I’m magnetic.
Hubert seems to have ditched the match and moved once more to the ropes to watch Stokes handling Tail Earnhardt as Roberts drags Cameron Blake up to his feet and unloads a series of stiff strikes that keep the Archangel off-balance.
NINA APPLEBAUM: PUT. THE CAT. BACK!
Hubert slips under the ropes and moves for the announce table.
BRAD STOKES: Hey buddy! Loving this cat!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Put him back! Hubert needs to focus on his match.
Hubert’s helping Brad pet Tail Earnhardt, whose purrs come through the microphones at the announce desk. In the ring, Roberts has slammed Cameron Blake down with a series of german suplexes! She goes for the bridge cover!
1…
2…
3--
Out of the corner of Theo Refano’s eye he sees Audrey Mya Carter climb onto the ring apron which distracts the ref from his count.
NINA APPLEBAUM: We’re missing all of the action, Bradley! Cameron Blake’s disciple appears to be distracting the ref.
BRAD STOKES: This cat’s amazing, Nina. Hubert’s amazing. Everything is awesome right now.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Meanwhile, in the actual WRESTLING match… Jessie Roberts just WON this match but the ref didn’t count it!
Jessie Roberts has frustratedly approached Theo Refano who has managed to talk Mya Carter away from the ring apron. Cameron Blake spies where Hubert Smalls is at the announce table helping Brad Stokes get Tail Earnhardt back inside of the cat carrier with extra love and kisses, before moving in and surprising Jessie with a german suplex of his own! And another! And another! And another before bridging into a pin with Roberts’ shoulders square on the canvas! This time Refano is there to make the count!
NINA APPLEBAUM: THE ARMAGEDDON! CAMERON BLAKE COULD WIN THIS THING!
1…
2…
3!!
DING! DING! DING!
The opening notes of Linkin Park’s “In the End” spur the crowd to respond as Cameron Blake inhales sharply as he rises to his feet where his ‘disciple’ has entered the ring to congratulate him. At ringside, Hubert Smalls looks around with dismay, then into the ring with a shocked look of disappointment.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Cameron Blake just ran away with this match.
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: HERE IS YOUR WINNER…. The Archangel… CAMERON…. BLAKE!
Hubert looks aghast to Brad Stokes who shrugs apologetically.
BRAD STOKES: Sorry, buddy! Not like I meant to do that. *Aside to Nina* Did I just cost this kid his match?
NINA APPLEBAUM: You may very well have, Bradley.
Brad winces and looks to Hubert who swallows hard and collects the cat carrier.
BRAD STOKES: Oh… man.. I feel horrible, look at him.
NINA APPLEBAUM: YES. While Cameron Blake and his ‘disciple’ celebrate Cameron’s first win in AWE, Hubert has missed this first opportunity! And it’s literally your fault, Bradley.
BRAD STOKES: Why you gotta make me feel guilty, dude?
Hubert rather nobly looks to the ring in a silent exchange of glances between he and Cameron Blake before he bows his head and storms up the ramp to the backstage area.
BRAD STOKES: Man… I really screwed up. That Dare Clemmens dick pic got to me, guy.
NINA APPLEBAUM: It is what it is. A win for Cameron Blake.
BRAD STOKES: I gotta make some changes with my life…
NINA APPLEBAUM: You’re going to forget you said that in ten minutes. You probably MEANT to do that just now.
BRAD STOKES: Do what? What happened? What’s next? Where are we?
NINA APPLEBAUM: I rest my case.
In the other interrogation room it was a far different scene. The dim light bulb hung overhead casting deep shadows around the room. Caroline O'Hara Burchill sat rather comfortably, if not mildly annoyed, as Todd Reid sat across from her with a table in between them and an open notepad in front of him.
TODD REID: All right, Caroline. Tell me what your opinion is about Thirteen?
CAROLINE O’HARA BURCHILL: Thirteen? I mean... she's a bit of a nuisance. My understanding of the woman is that she generally carries a string of bad luck behind her. She's a bit problematic in that regard, but I guess I can't really fault her for that, even if she can be quite the irksome individual.
Todd eyed her callously, narrowing his eyes.
TODD REID: Did you want to see her come to harm?
CAROLINE O’HARA BURCHILL: Honestly? No, not really. Sure, there are some issues I have with Thirteen, and I guess I made a couple of disparaging remarks about her, but none of that was to be taken seriously. The thought of me hurting her never crossed my mind, and I know, I know. People think that I'm lying, but it's the honest to God truth. I had no intentions of enacting any kind of violence onto the woman."
Todd betrayed no emotion as he regarded her thoughtfully before glancing down to a series of prepared notes Francis had handed him just prior to his entering this room. He read,
TODD REID: What were you doing Dec. 7th 1941?
CAROLINE O'HARA BURCHILL: ... I don't really understand how I could have any insight into Pearl Harbor since, you know, my father wasn't alive at that time to bust a nut inside my mother so that she could give birth to me. None of us were there when it happened, so I really cannot answer that one for you."
Caroline just rolls her eyes and shakes her head before letting out a huff, looking a bit agitated. Todd blinked and did a double-take at the question on the notebook.
TODD REID: Dammit, Francis.
Todd glanced back at Caroline with an apologetic smile he gave begrudgingly.
TODD REID: Nevermind that one. What were you doing the day of Thirteen disappearance?
CAROLINE O'HARA BURCHILL: I was leaving the show with my agent when the whole incident occurred. We were just going out to have something to eat before we had to go back to New York. Nothing extravagant or suspicious.
Burchill then smiles and gives a nonchalant shrug as she looks at Todd Reid.
CAROLINE O’HARA BURCHILL: There. It's that simple. Next question.
Todd considered.
TODD REID: And what is your opinion of this “T.S.”?
CAROLINE O'HARA BURCHILL: T.S.? Hah. Do you really want to know how I feel about him? Hm?
Caroline leans in closer, and the tone of her voice sounds dark as she spoke with a lot of venom behind her words.
CAROLINE O'HARA BURCHILL: ... I'm still feeling pretty raw about my wrongful arrest, especially since I know now that he was responsible for defaming me and trying to put the blame on me. So, you really want to know how I feel about him? I think that he is nothing more than a sniveling, fake-as-fuck bastard who is an absolute disgrace for what he did to me. And you know what?
A smirk crawls along her face as Caroline lets out a chuckle.
CAROLINE O'HARA BURCHILL: I think that he's the one who attacked Thirteen. He's just using to me so that he can get all of the heat off of him.
Todd leaned back as she said this and eyed her with scrutiny.
TODD REID: Is that why you think he has accused you of harming Thirteen?
CAROLINE O'HARA BURCHILL: Well, I think it's simple: I am by far the most hated wrestler in Alpha Empire Wrestling. None of the people here can stand me, and honestly? They can all kiss my ass. They're all beneath me anyway. However, it goes beyond that. It's no secret that I'm not the most mentally balanced person in the world. I've had some history of breaking down and letting loose. Hell, everyone got to see that when I attacked Anastasia Hayden all the way back at Massacre #1. I... can just snap at times, so I think he saw that as an opportunity to get the dirt off of his wretched hands and point to me as the culprit. It's pathetic that he has to exploit my own issues that way and make me out to be an easy target, but hey. I guess that's to be expected from a greasy slimeball like him.
Todd nodded for several moments, eyeing Caroline before glancing back down at the notebook and read from it verbatim.
TODD REID: Just one more question then and I think this will be all sewn up, what is the air speed velocity of an unlaiden swallow?
CAROLINE O'HARA BURCHILL: What do you mean, an African or European Swallow?
Caroline grins.
CAROLINE O'HARA BURCHILL: Okay, I have to admit that you've redeemed yourself after that cute little bit there.
Todd smirked mildly shaking his head as he re-read the question.
TODD REID: I’m not entirely confident Francis knows what he’s doing at all times, but he’s good for a laugh. I think you’re free to go, Ms. Burchill. I see no reason to further trouble you with this issue, and I’m fairly confident I know where Thirteen is.
Caroline eyed him disingenuously as she stood from the table and brushed past him brusquely. Todd tapped his finger on the notepad before shaking his head.
TODD REID: I hope Francis hasn’t gotten too far along with his interrogation.
TODD REID: All right, Caroline. Tell me what your opinion is about Thirteen?
CAROLINE O’HARA BURCHILL: Thirteen? I mean... she's a bit of a nuisance. My understanding of the woman is that she generally carries a string of bad luck behind her. She's a bit problematic in that regard, but I guess I can't really fault her for that, even if she can be quite the irksome individual.
Todd eyed her callously, narrowing his eyes.
TODD REID: Did you want to see her come to harm?
CAROLINE O’HARA BURCHILL: Honestly? No, not really. Sure, there are some issues I have with Thirteen, and I guess I made a couple of disparaging remarks about her, but none of that was to be taken seriously. The thought of me hurting her never crossed my mind, and I know, I know. People think that I'm lying, but it's the honest to God truth. I had no intentions of enacting any kind of violence onto the woman."
Todd betrayed no emotion as he regarded her thoughtfully before glancing down to a series of prepared notes Francis had handed him just prior to his entering this room. He read,
TODD REID: What were you doing Dec. 7th 1941?
CAROLINE O'HARA BURCHILL: ... I don't really understand how I could have any insight into Pearl Harbor since, you know, my father wasn't alive at that time to bust a nut inside my mother so that she could give birth to me. None of us were there when it happened, so I really cannot answer that one for you."
Caroline just rolls her eyes and shakes her head before letting out a huff, looking a bit agitated. Todd blinked and did a double-take at the question on the notebook.
TODD REID: Dammit, Francis.
Todd glanced back at Caroline with an apologetic smile he gave begrudgingly.
TODD REID: Nevermind that one. What were you doing the day of Thirteen disappearance?
CAROLINE O'HARA BURCHILL: I was leaving the show with my agent when the whole incident occurred. We were just going out to have something to eat before we had to go back to New York. Nothing extravagant or suspicious.
Burchill then smiles and gives a nonchalant shrug as she looks at Todd Reid.
CAROLINE O’HARA BURCHILL: There. It's that simple. Next question.
Todd considered.
TODD REID: And what is your opinion of this “T.S.”?
CAROLINE O'HARA BURCHILL: T.S.? Hah. Do you really want to know how I feel about him? Hm?
Caroline leans in closer, and the tone of her voice sounds dark as she spoke with a lot of venom behind her words.
CAROLINE O'HARA BURCHILL: ... I'm still feeling pretty raw about my wrongful arrest, especially since I know now that he was responsible for defaming me and trying to put the blame on me. So, you really want to know how I feel about him? I think that he is nothing more than a sniveling, fake-as-fuck bastard who is an absolute disgrace for what he did to me. And you know what?
A smirk crawls along her face as Caroline lets out a chuckle.
CAROLINE O'HARA BURCHILL: I think that he's the one who attacked Thirteen. He's just using to me so that he can get all of the heat off of him.
Todd leaned back as she said this and eyed her with scrutiny.
TODD REID: Is that why you think he has accused you of harming Thirteen?
CAROLINE O'HARA BURCHILL: Well, I think it's simple: I am by far the most hated wrestler in Alpha Empire Wrestling. None of the people here can stand me, and honestly? They can all kiss my ass. They're all beneath me anyway. However, it goes beyond that. It's no secret that I'm not the most mentally balanced person in the world. I've had some history of breaking down and letting loose. Hell, everyone got to see that when I attacked Anastasia Hayden all the way back at Massacre #1. I... can just snap at times, so I think he saw that as an opportunity to get the dirt off of his wretched hands and point to me as the culprit. It's pathetic that he has to exploit my own issues that way and make me out to be an easy target, but hey. I guess that's to be expected from a greasy slimeball like him.
Todd nodded for several moments, eyeing Caroline before glancing back down at the notebook and read from it verbatim.
TODD REID: Just one more question then and I think this will be all sewn up, what is the air speed velocity of an unlaiden swallow?
CAROLINE O'HARA BURCHILL: What do you mean, an African or European Swallow?
Caroline grins.
CAROLINE O'HARA BURCHILL: Okay, I have to admit that you've redeemed yourself after that cute little bit there.
Todd smirked mildly shaking his head as he re-read the question.
TODD REID: I’m not entirely confident Francis knows what he’s doing at all times, but he’s good for a laugh. I think you’re free to go, Ms. Burchill. I see no reason to further trouble you with this issue, and I’m fairly confident I know where Thirteen is.
Caroline eyed him disingenuously as she stood from the table and brushed past him brusquely. Todd tapped his finger on the notepad before shaking his head.
TODD REID: I hope Francis hasn’t gotten too far along with his interrogation.
Candice "Candy" Turner VS. "The Expert" Brandon Collins VS. Bindy Trent
BRAD STOKES: Isn’t that nice, Nina? Caroline Burchill is cleared of all charges! It’s a belated Christmas Miracle. Finally, gonna get married.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Are you being serious? Those charges were bogus from the start. And Caroline Burchill will never marry you.
BRAD STOKES: I, for one, am still unconvinced on both accounts. Maybe I’ll send Caroline Dare’s dick pic and say it’s mine. That’ll win her over. Meanwhile, we’ll have to see what Francis uncovers. We're right in the thick of this thing now.
NINA APPLEBAUM: I’m sure he’s getting nowhere. With all that aside, however, sports fans, we turn our attention to another triple threat match between three relative newcomers to the AWE.
BRAD STOKES: I heard Bindy Trent’s got spaghetti backstage waiting for her if she wins. Sponsored by Olive Garden’s own Bilbo Baggins or something.
NINA APPLEBAUM: What? Where’d you hear that?
BRAD STOKES: The twitter. Ana Hayden’s making her mom’s spaghetti.
NINA APPLEBAUM: I don’t even know what to say to you most days, Bradley.
BRAD STOKES: I’m in the loop, and you’re jealous. You're pasta your prime. HAHAHAHA.
DING! DING! DING!
NINA APPLEBAUM: And we’re, thankfully, underway, curbing Bradley’s bizarre unsubstantiated pasta updates.
Brandon Collins, Candice Turner, and Bindy Trent move in and size one another up before Candy makes the first move, striking out at Brandon Collins with a running knee lift which the expert sidesteps expertly! Bindy hurtles in at him with momentum and swings into a koppu kick which the Expert again sidesteps and slams a double foot stomp down into Bindy Trent before she can rise!
BRAD STOKES: Brandon Collins is former MMA, expert ring general, these chickadees better not be looking forward to that delicision Ana spaghetti, provided she beats the rap.
Candy charges in at The Expert once more with another charging lifting knee, Collins once more sidesteps, gets in behind Candy and SLAMS Candy down with a bridging German Suplex!
1…
TW--
NINA APPLEBAUM: Bindy Trent was there to break Candy Turner out of that pin attempt.
Candy swiftly rolls out of the ring clutching the back of her neck.
BRAD STOKES: Candy wants that spaghetti, I bet. Screw this match.
NINA APPLEBAUM: I think that’s enough, Bradley.
BRAD STOKES: You can never have enough spaghetti!
Bindy Trent gets a hold of Brandon Collins as he makes his way back to his feet and swings a vicious left hook, which she catches and sends him flying with an arm drag! Candy rolls back inside the ring just as Bindy rushes a rapidly rising Brandon Collins and instead is hit with a surprise exploder suplex! Collins is up to his feet and turns in time to be slammed by a spear from Candy Turner!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Like a freight train!
BRAD STOKES: No doubt! Speed and momentum can make up for sheer mass!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Candice Turner with the cover!
1…
TW-
NINA APPLEBAUM: Brandon Collins kicks out!
Bindy Trent is on one knee, watching as Candy stomps on Brandon Collins to keep him grounded, with her back to Bindy.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Great opportunity to capitalize here for Bindy Trent!
Bindy shuffles in behind Candy and manages a snap inverted suplex that slams Candy down hard! Bindy doesn’t let go, transferring with a kip up onto Candy’s back, locking on a camel clutch, but she can’t secure her grip before Brandon Collins has delivered a running knee that slams Bindy off her perch and onto the canvas.
BRAD STOKES: Candy and Bindy are both down. This is where Collins needs to capitalize!
Before Collins can grab Candy she slides out of the ring to catch her bearings. Collins goes for Bindy who hits him hard with a Kawada kick that staggers The Expert!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Nice Kawada kick by Bindy Trent!
Candy sees the momentum shifting from the outside and slides back into the ring just as Bindy drops Brandon Collins down with a hard DDT, and this time the Expert rolls the ring! Candy finds a recovering Bindy Trent and surprises her with a sunset flip!
1…
2..
THR---
NINA APPLEBAUM: And Brandon Collins was there to pull Candy off Bindy!
BRAD STOKES: These three are on their game tonight! Clearly motivated by—
NINA APPLEBAUM: Don’t even say it.
BRAD STOKES: You thought I was going to bring up pasta? That joke’s played out, Nina. I was going to mention Dare’s dick pic, but fine. Have it your way.
Collins gets hit with a surprise sitout jawbreaker by Candy and she goes for the cover!
1…
TW—
NINA APPLEBAUM: Bindy Trent is there to break up the cover attempt!
Candy is up to her feet with Brandon Collins down recovering from the jawbreaker, and now Candy and Bindy find themselves attempting to exchange blows, only to have each attempted shot blocked by the other woman!
BRAD STOKES: Impressive exchanges! These women are damn fast! Neither can land a blow on the other!
Bindy grips Candy with a sudden hammerlock but Candy twists out of it and manages Bindy into a suplex clutch! Bindy flips out of the suplex and comes down behind Candy, face-to-face with a recovered Brandon Collins who takes a stiff shot for Bindy who ducks, and Collins instead knocks Candy backwards!
BRAD STOKES: Getting dizzy just watching these three!
Brandon doesn’t get the chance to follow up before Bindy sends Collins flying with an arm drag that takes them both out! And Bindy is quick on the draw slamming down hard onto a downed Brandon Collins with a standing moonsault!
NINA APPLEBAUM: And the cover! Bindy Trent has got it!
1..
2…
THR—
BRAD STOKES: Not if Candy Turner has anything to say about it!
Candy still has a hold of Bindy’s leg after pulling her off and quickly drops down to lock on a bow and arrow that has Bindy squirming in pain!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Not a good position for Bindy Trent! She’s going to tap!
Brandon Collins finds his feet back under him once more and slams a kick into Candy’s side that forces her to relinquish Bindy who rolls onto her stomach in pain, then outside the ring! Brandon Collins goes to work slamming stomps down onto the fallen Candy before dropping a solid elbow that flattens Candy onto the canvas! Collins isn’t done! He drags Candy up forcefully to her feet and SLAMS her back down to the canvas with an impaler DDT! Smacking his elbow, Brandon Collins goes up top as the crowd roars.
BRAD STOKES: Brandon Collins gonna throw some ‘bows here!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Both Candy and Bindy are out! This could be the end!
Brandon Collins unleashes off the top rope aiming a flying elbow for Candy Turner but Candy rolls aside, all the under the ropes to fall to the outside to catch her breath and Brandon’s elbow slams painfully off the canvas!
NINA APPLEBAUM: There’s Bindy Trent!
Bindy’s recovery has let her make it onto the ring apron then onto the top rope rather quickly where she leaps off the turnbuckle and SLAMS A shooting star leg drop onto a stunned and pained Brandon Collins! The crowd roars!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Unbelievable!
Candy is making it to her feet on the outside as Bindy Trent goes for the cover on Brandon Collins!
1…
2..
Candy slides in and reaches for Bindy Trent’s leg,
3!!!
DING! DING! DING!
“Award Show Taylor Swift” by Bowling for Soup kicks onto the speakers as Bindy bounces to her feet in pain.
NINA APPLEBAUM: What a stunner! Candy was just inches from breaking up that pin!
BRAD STOKES: One inch more and she’d have had it!
NINA APPLEBAUM: And look at that! Nice little show of sportsmanship by Bindy Trent.
Bindy has helped Candy to her feet and raised her arm as well!
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: Here is your winner… BINDY…. TRENT!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Definitely not something you see everyday in the world of professional wrestling, but a welcome sight nonetheless.
BRAD STOKES: Each of these competitors deserve an ovation after that. I think they all wanted it, in the end Bindy had enough gas left in the tank to put her over.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Not a bad debut by any means. Now for a word from our sponsors. We'll be back after these messages! So stay tuned!
TODD: That’s funny.
Ian is fishing around in his backpack.
JON: What?
TODD: There used to be a homeless shelter there. What happened to all the people?
Todd wipes the sweat off his face and looks sweltered. Ian fishes out a bottle from his backpack and screws off the cap.
JON: I’m not sure what happened to them. Thirsty? Here, take some of this.
Todd graciously accepts the bottle of water and drinks from it liberally.
TODD: Oh, wow! Thanks. This is great. Do you mind?
Todd has the bottle of water hovering over his head. Ian shakes his head.
JON: Nah, man go ahead. I got a whole case of the stuff.
Todd dumps the rest of the bottle onto him like a shower and immediately feels refreshed.
TODD: This is so damn good!
You can see the bounce to his step now! Thoroughly impressed, he looks at the bottle and reads the label:
TODD: People Water?
Todd looks to Ian who has a coy smirk on his lips.
JON: It’s made of people!
TODD: I heard that, man!
Todd chuckles and takes another delicious sip of People Water before he frowns.
TODD: Wait, what?
JON: It’s just one more innovative solution from the good folks at the SoylentGreen Corporation.
Todd blinks as he thinks about it.
TODD: Innovative solution…
Todd watches as Jon fishes another bottle of water from his backpack and downs the bottle enthusiastically before dumping the remainder down onto his shaking head like this were an amazing shampoo commercial.
JON: OH GOD IT’S SO GOOD.
Todd blinks, looks from his drenched and quenched friend down at the empty bottle of People Water in his hand with a logo where the figures of people are being poured out of a bottle, and then at the now deserted homeless shelter once full of down-on-their luck occupants. In fact, Todd notices, the entirety of this economically recessed part of town is deserted. The awareness seeps in slowly. Todd spins around to see a ghost town that used to be thriving, albeit for depressed socioeconomic reasons, then stops to face his friend, Jon, who holds another bottle of People Water out to him with a big, wide, grin.
JON: It’s best not to ask. Have some more People Water.
Todd blinks, the queasy feeling in his stomach wrestles with his mind… before he takes the bottle of People Water with a shrug.
TODD: Sure, why not.
With a shrug, he and Jon keep walking. A tumbleweed blows by the deserted city. We fade to a satisfying animated logo of a tipped bottle pouring out gallons of delicious water with people in it…
Ketsuekigata Z VS. The Solomons
NINA APPLEBAUM: And we’re back fight fans, and we have for you the first ever match within the AWE’s Dynamic Division, where tag-team wrestling action is the lay of the land.
BRAD STOKES: We’re popping a cherry, folks!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Everyone in this stadium is well aware of who the Zombies are, thought perhaps not familiar with their team name as such.
BRAD STOKES: It’s super easy to pronounce, too. Ket-sway-gay-tay zee.
NINA APPLEBAUM: I believe it’s Ket-Soo-Ga-Ta- Zee, Bradley.
BRAD STOKES: Huh. Well, how come it doesn’t sound like that when I say it?
NINA APPLEBAUM: …
BRAD STOKES: Their opponents, on the other hand, are a couple of mysterious newcomers: The Solomons. No trouble pronouncing that. And these two don’t look like they’re here to play paddy-cake.
NINA APPLEBAUM: No, I doubt it. Over the past two weeks, we’ve gradually been introduced to these two, and needless to say I’m still not sure what to make of either of them, Bradley.
BRAD STOKES: We’re about to find out.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Kimitsu Zombie is set to start off for the Zombies, and Darcy has opted to start for the Solomons.
DING! DING! DING!
It’s a race to the tie-up as both women exert force on the other, shifting in the ring to gain some leverage before Darcy cleverly monkey flips Kimitsu up and over into her corner! As Kimitsu rises to her feet with agility she narrowly dodges a sudden grapple attempt from the giant mitt of Duke Solomon.
BRAD STOKES: He’s a big’un, but Kimitsu’s not about to be suckered like that.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Nice try by Darcy there, though.
Kimitsu and Darcy once more tie up but this time the momentum shifts in Kimitsu’s favor as she whips Darcy into the corner where a waiting Aoki Zombie is, only Aokigahara lifts his hands innocently as Darcy hits the turnbuckle and Kimitsu rushes her and splashes her into the corner! Darcy staggers out and Kimitsu wastes little time sending the smaller Solomon skidding across the ring with an arm drag!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Some of that ring experience showing itself once more as Kimitsu lands some of the crucial first blows on Darcy Solomon.
BRAD STOKES: Gotta tell you, in spite of the ominous hood, it doesn’t look like Kimitsu’ really phased Darcy yet!
Once more Darcy and Kimitsu eye one another and rush in for the lockup only for Darcy to shift out of the way and catch Kimitsu off-balance and then slam a spinning heel kick into the back of Kimitsu’s head that staggers her unwittingly right into the Solomon’s corner where she finds herself face-to-face with the masked Duke Solomon who slams a hard elbow into Kimi’s face and spins her around before she falls!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Oooo! Duke Solomon unloaded one of those strong forearms into Kimitsu Zombie!
BRAD STOKES: Aoki didn’t like that!
Aoki Zombie stalks his ring apron and glares across the ring, watching as the ref moves in to warn the Solomons.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Theo Refano saw it, and he’s warning both Darcy and Duke.
BRAD STOKES: I don’t think Duke Solomon gives a shit, Nina. I honestly don’t. This is tag-team wrestling. Someone’s going to die. Finally. Starting this New Year off right.
Kimitsu Zombie has gotten to her feet a bit more stunned than previously and as Theo Refano admonishes the Solomons she makes her way to her corner and tags in Aoki Zombie. As Theo Refano moves out of the way he looks confused as Aokigahara Zombie moves to center ring to confront Darcy cockily.
BRAD STOKES: Here we go.
The crowd is on its feet for the Aoki Zombie as he laughs it up and dares Darcy to come at him. She wisely tags in Duke who slowly lumbers into the ring and the crowd is electrified in anticipation as the hulking Solomon approaches a drastically enthusiastic Zombie.
BRAD STOKES: He looks positively overjoyed to see Duke Solomon. I wouldn’t be.
Duke Solomon takes aim with a haymaker that plows into Aoki Zombie with enough force to send him reeling across the ring!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Huge right hand by Duke Solomon!
Aoki checks for blood and nods with ecstatic approval at the fight that’s just met him and he starts to shift and dance on his feet, circling Duke rather too quick for the much larger man to follow.
BRAD STOKES: I love it. Look at the Aoki throwing pot shots at the big ol boy in there!
Aoki fires some test rabbit punches that don’t seem to do much to Duke as Duke takes a swipe for the Zombie but finds himself outmaneuvered and the Aoki makes him pay with a stiff kick right into the back of Duke Solomon’s knee that staggers him forward. Aoki charges in and slams a hard thrusting knee right up into Duke Solomon’s spine and staggers him once more before Aoki runs and sends Duke face first into the canvas with a bulldog!
BRAD STOKES: Nice! He got him!
NINA APPLEBAUM: I don’t think he’s got him!
Aoki launches a series of stomps down into the fallen Solomon who rests on his haunches a moment before lumbering up to his feet amid the hail of stomps and kicks then manages to grab hold of Aoki and scoop slam him to the canvas with powerful authority!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Aoki Zombie’s tough, he’s clever, he’s a fighter. But he’s up against a man who may not go down and stay down so easily!
Duke Solomon reaches down for Aoki’s throat but the Zombie rolls out of the way and climbs to his feet, eyeing Duke Solomon with appreciation as he does.
BRAD STOKES: Aokigahara Zombie has been in so many wrestling rings looking for the fight of his life, it’s quite possible that he’s found it right here in Duke Solomon!
Duke charges Aoki but the Zombie sidesteps his far slower opponent and sends him down to the canvas with a drop toe hold! And Zombie quickly climbs back to his feet and once more lays a series of stomps and kicks down into Duke Solomon, dropping an elbow… another… and another, only to find himself marveling as Duke Solomon begins to rise once more to his feet.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Duke Solomon is a monster of a man. How’s anyone going to keep him down?
BRAD STOKES: If anyone’s going to find out, trust me, it’ll be the Zombie clan.
Duke is on his feet and this time Aoki faces him head on, slamming a side elbow into Duke that staggers him backward. Zombie moves in and slams his shoulder into Duke’s stomach, backing him into the corner and slamming severe shoulder thrusts into Duke’s midsection only to be surprised with a double axe handle down into Zombie’s back that flattens Aoki!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Not an ideal spot to be in!
Duke lays a series of stomps down into Zombie’s back before reaching down and gripping Aoki back to his feet and SLAMMING him back down with a ring-shaking spine buster!
BRAD STOKES: Does he know how to pin? Cause he may have just killed Aoki Zombie!
The crowd roars at the sheer brutality of as Duke Solomon rests on one knee and eyes the audience before reaching down to grip Zombie by the throat clutching him up to his feet only to be surprised by a hard-hitting Aoki Headbutt that knocks Duke Solomon off guard! And Aoki with a renewed thirst for the fight drops Duke down with an atomic drop that leaves the larger Solomon staggering. In their corner, Kimitsu Zombie is practically clamoring for a tag as Aoki pursues a fight with Duke Solomon. Aoki slams hard rights and lefts to keep Duke off guard then stuns the crowd with a camera-enticing belly-to-belly suplex!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Impressive suplex by Zombie!
BRAD STOKES: And that’s not a small guy he just threw around!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Zombie with the cover!
1…
Duke impressively throws Aoki off of him!
BRAD STOKES: Guess he’s not done.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Far from it!
Aoki Zombie looks thoroughly impressed with his opponent, gripping the ropes on one knee watching as Duke Solomon lumbers to his feet with relatively little difficulty.
NINA APPLEBAUM: We’re in for a long fight if the Zombie’s hope to put Duke Solomon down!
Duke is summoned back to his corner by Darcy Solomon who gets the tag and climbs in just as Aoki Zombie moves to his corner and tags back in Kimitsu!
BRAD STOKES: Nicely divvied up between the two. I get the tactic, but Kimitsu can run circles around Duke Solomon. That’s how they’re going to keep him down.
NINA APPLEBAUM: But let him get a hold of her once…
Darcy rushes Kimitsu and slams into her with an enziguri that topples Kimi to the canvas! Darcy wastes no time slamming some knees into Kimitsu’s side keeping Kimi down. Close to the Zombie corner, she lets herself get close enough to trigger Aoki into attempting to grab her before she spins on a dime and slams a hard elbow into Aoki’s chest and sends him dropping from the apron to the outside! The crowd comes to life as Duke Solomon hops down from his side of the ring apron and heads for Aoki.
BRAD STOKES: I get the feeling like this is about to turn mighty nasty, really fast. And you wanna know something, Nina? I’m okay with that.
NINA APPLEBAUM: I figured you would be!
Darcy turns her attention back to Kimitsu who surprises her with a step-enziguri kick of her own that staggers Darcy into the corner where she leans. Kimi unloads angry rights and lefts before seeing outside where Duke Solomon has driven Aoki Zombie into the guard rail!
BRAD STOKES: It was a brawl these Zombie’s wanted!
The view enrages Kimitsu who starts unloading on the trapped Darcy with furious kicks that drops Darcy down to a seat in the corner before Kimitsu forces her to a stand and angrily sends her shoulder-first into the ring post before tugging her out and SLAMMING Darcy down hard with a german suplex!!
NINA APPLEBAUM: It’s actually a match made in heaven. These two teams are almost dead-even when it comes to sheer bloodthirst.
BRAD STOKES: Good idea, Nina. In the forthcoming AWE Collectible Trading Card Game, that’ll be a power.
NINA APPLEBAUM: “AWE Collectible Trading Card Game”?
BRAD STOKES: I feel like I’m watching some weird supernatural Vampire:The Masquerade shit going on. Zombies, giant behemoth creatures and hooded goth chicks. Not that I ever played that game…
NINA APPLEBAUM: Release your inner nerd, Brad.
BRAD STOKES: Death to the Camarilla.
On the outside Duke has taken to bashing Aoki Zombie’s head into the guard rail, then into the ring steps with increasing ferocity and violence, drawing the attention of Theo Refano!
BRAD STOKES: Gonna get themselves disqualified! Darcy better call of her brother.
NINA APPLEBAUM: She’s currently indisposed.
In the ring, the two legal competitors, Kimitsu and Darcy are struggling on the canvas before Darcy sends her feet up hard into Kimitsu’s stomach and knocks the Zombie backward. Darcy is to her feet, clearly in pain after Kimitsu’s onslaught but full of enough energy to rush Kimitsu and send a hard clothesline into Kimitsu and both women freefall over the top rope to the outside!
BRAD STOKES: And now they’re all outside.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Theo Refano has been remarkably lenient with these teams so far.
BRAD STOKES: Not even. He’s been yelling at Duke Solomon and Aokigahara for the last 3 minutes to get back into their respective corners but they can’t hear him over the crowd. It’s awesome. Someone’s going to die, and I love it.
Duke’s brutality has only increased on the outside, manhandling Aoki into the guard rail, the barrier, then a suplex onto the concrete, and Theo Refano is forced to turn his attention to Kimitsu Zombie and Darcy who have taken to brutally clubbing one another on the outside before Kimitsu angrily throws Darcy into a guardrail and topples it over spilling the fight into the outside!
1!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Theo Refano is starting the count!
BRAD STOKES: I don’t think these teams care, Nina.
2!
Aoki Zombie has fought back, managing to slam Duke Solomon’s head off the ring post, then off the concrete repeatedly before Duke Solomon has slammed an elbow right back into Aokigahara Zombie.
3!
BRAD STOKES: This escalated rather quickly, Nina.
Emboldened, Kimitsu has sent Darcy flying through chairs and further into the crowd away from the ring.
4!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Surely someone’s going to get this match back in the ring.
BRAD STOKES: Not for certain. Neither of these two teams are really all that concerned with much else than carnage, Nina.
5!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Theo Refano needs to stop this!
BRAD STOKES: If he does I’ll kill him, Nina.
6!
Duke and Aoki exchange blows. Aoki is bleeding profusely out his forehead yet continues to throw titanic blows to match the strength of Duke Solomon! Darcy Solomon has retaliated with stiff kicks into Kimitsu and that fight has made it back towards the ramp!
7!
BRAD STOKES: Uh oh. The rhinos are getting too close to the car.
Duke and Aoki have punched each other in front of the announce table where Aoki stuns the two commentators by shoulder butting Duke Solomons hard into the announce table!
8!
NINA APPLEBAUM: I’m not liking how close these two are!
Duke surprises with a sudden gutwrench suplex on Aoki right down hard onto the announce table, crumpling it before the commentators eyes! Brad Stokes gives the devil horn salute of sheer and total approval of the level of brutality this match has reached.
BRAD STOKES: YES!
9!
10!!
DING! DING! DING!
NINA APPLEBAUM: It was only a matter of time!
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: Ladies and Gentlemen, this match has ended in a double countout and therefore a no contest!
BRAD STOKES: Is Marshall Douglas so stupid he doesn’t see that everyone’s still fighting?! Shut up, lame-o!
NINA APPLEBAUM: We need security down here!
BRAD STOKES: Didn’t T.S. lay all the security people off?!
DING! DING! DING! DING!
The bell sounds as Darcy and Kimitsu fight their way down the ramp back towards the ring before a small security detail rushes out from the back and quickly seperates the two women. Meanwhile, Duke is setting Aoki up for a chokeslam before he notices Darcy signaling to him from across the ring. Security encircles the two men, ready for an altercation, but Duke stands down, seemingly at Darcy’s distant behest.
BRAD STOKES: Well, there’s one for the books, eh Nina?
NINA APPLEBAUM: Indeed it was. While this mess gets cleaned up, we go back stage, hopefully, to something that buys us enough time to get a new announce table!
BRAD STOKES: I’m good either way. Nothing like an absolute disaster to make everything worthwhile.
The scene fades as the wreckage is sorted out.
Back into the interrogation room where Francis has evidently been speaking this entire time.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: ..And they never knew the paperclips were poisoned, see? So what Macgyver did was he used a toilet paper roll, coupled with the gravitational pull of Uranus to open the door and fire the missiles. Now isn’t that amazing?
Francis had, at some point, sat down at the table with Ana, and had evidently catered the affair, with drinks and a turkey dinner to belatedly commemorate the holiday now stationed on the table. Francis genially eyed Ana waiting for her response.
ANASTASIA HAYDEN: And this all relates back to Thirteen… How?
Staring at Ana in confusion, Francis waited for her to elaborate.
ANASTASIA HAYDEN: Thirteen. The… The person I’m here for. The one you were starting to state facts about.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Yes, I know that, you fool! You IDIOT! *Francis adjusts his collar* So, you admit you do know Thirteen and thus, know where she is! Now we are getting somewhere!
Francis smirked, obliviously staring back at her, his eyes shifting from side to side as if darting between topics silently in his mind. He went back to his accusatory finger pointing, striking back at her.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: I’ll have you know that justice comes before love. Oh, you may try to make this case about our burgeoning love affair, but it won’t work. NOT GONNA CUT IT, ANGIE! *aside* However, if you are proven innocent after this case is over…
Francis chuckles whimsically, as if she were in on the joke. The sentence trails off as Ana visibly recoils in her seat.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: No, I think this case has more to it than meets the eye. And, I believe you’re innocent. And I will not stop until I can prove your innocence and FREE you from prison!
ANASTASIA HAYDEN: But I am out of jail. You bailed me out.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: I know that!
Temporarily outraged, Francis calms and takes to smiling proudly at her.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Just tell me something… and this is important….
Francis leaned forward as if about to open up and bear his soul to her.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Do you think my rap troupe has a chance?
ANASTASIA HAYDEN: If I say yes, can I leave?
Francis doesn’t say anything, his eyes still staring pleadingly into Ana’s soul, where it was obvious only one answer would speak to Francis’ creative genius. Ana stared deadpan back at him and responded,
ANASTASIA HAYDEN: Yes.
A creeping smirk fitted onto Francis’ lips.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: I knew it! Stupid Kass. She said Murder Inc. would never work! I'll show her! Maybe it just needs a name change?
Francis was momentarily stoked, before pointing authoritatively back at Ana.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: But don’t you go thinking your silver tongue will get you off that easily! I’ve still got a list of--
For a third time, heavy breathing had taken over for Francis as Ana rolled her eyes watching the old man fall into a deep sleep. She leaned over the table, to start snapping her fingers at him, but to no response.
ANASTASIA HAYDEN: Francis? Francis, wake up.
This was a deeper slumber than the previous ones and that provided an opportunity for Ana to seize. Carefully, she stood up from her seat and tip toed past Francis, opening the door out of the interrogation room. On her way out, she hit the light switch before she closed the door behind her.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: ..And they never knew the paperclips were poisoned, see? So what Macgyver did was he used a toilet paper roll, coupled with the gravitational pull of Uranus to open the door and fire the missiles. Now isn’t that amazing?
Francis had, at some point, sat down at the table with Ana, and had evidently catered the affair, with drinks and a turkey dinner to belatedly commemorate the holiday now stationed on the table. Francis genially eyed Ana waiting for her response.
ANASTASIA HAYDEN: And this all relates back to Thirteen… How?
Staring at Ana in confusion, Francis waited for her to elaborate.
ANASTASIA HAYDEN: Thirteen. The… The person I’m here for. The one you were starting to state facts about.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Yes, I know that, you fool! You IDIOT! *Francis adjusts his collar* So, you admit you do know Thirteen and thus, know where she is! Now we are getting somewhere!
Francis smirked, obliviously staring back at her, his eyes shifting from side to side as if darting between topics silently in his mind. He went back to his accusatory finger pointing, striking back at her.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: I’ll have you know that justice comes before love. Oh, you may try to make this case about our burgeoning love affair, but it won’t work. NOT GONNA CUT IT, ANGIE! *aside* However, if you are proven innocent after this case is over…
Francis chuckles whimsically, as if she were in on the joke. The sentence trails off as Ana visibly recoils in her seat.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: No, I think this case has more to it than meets the eye. And, I believe you’re innocent. And I will not stop until I can prove your innocence and FREE you from prison!
ANASTASIA HAYDEN: But I am out of jail. You bailed me out.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: I know that!
Temporarily outraged, Francis calms and takes to smiling proudly at her.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Just tell me something… and this is important….
Francis leaned forward as if about to open up and bear his soul to her.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Do you think my rap troupe has a chance?
ANASTASIA HAYDEN: If I say yes, can I leave?
Francis doesn’t say anything, his eyes still staring pleadingly into Ana’s soul, where it was obvious only one answer would speak to Francis’ creative genius. Ana stared deadpan back at him and responded,
ANASTASIA HAYDEN: Yes.
A creeping smirk fitted onto Francis’ lips.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: I knew it! Stupid Kass. She said Murder Inc. would never work! I'll show her! Maybe it just needs a name change?
Francis was momentarily stoked, before pointing authoritatively back at Ana.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: But don’t you go thinking your silver tongue will get you off that easily! I’ve still got a list of--
For a third time, heavy breathing had taken over for Francis as Ana rolled her eyes watching the old man fall into a deep sleep. She leaned over the table, to start snapping her fingers at him, but to no response.
ANASTASIA HAYDEN: Francis? Francis, wake up.
This was a deeper slumber than the previous ones and that provided an opportunity for Ana to seize. Carefully, she stood up from her seat and tip toed past Francis, opening the door out of the interrogation room. On her way out, she hit the light switch before she closed the door behind her.
Hanzo Kirigaya VS. Anastasia Hayden
BRAD STOKES: Check it out, Nina. She’s free! ANA HAYDEN IS FREE!!
NINA APPLEBAUM: We all saw, Bradley. Even more special we have a refurbished Announce table, thanks to what crew remains working for the AWE!
BRAD STOKES: I wanna talk about Ana Hayden, though.
In the ring, Ana Hayden has entered with an arrogant stride past Hanzo and placed one foot on the ropes, the other curled behind her, and has taken to arrogantly playing to the roar of the crowd while Hanzo folds his arms and watches unimpressed.
BRAD STOKES: You may have watched the events play out, but you did not SEE. That my chick, Nin-ster. She’s free. The bird flew the coup! She’s innocent.
NINA APPLEBAUM: According to a bumbling fool, Bradley.
BRAD STOKES: You leave Dominic Lawson out of this!
Ana continues to gloat to the fans, urging them to roar louder, pretending to flap her hands like bird wings, to which Brad Stokes cracks up laughing. But Hanzo isn’t impressed. He rushes her and topples her over the ropes sending her crashing outside with a stiff kick to her spine!
BRAD STOKES: Eww… bad form.
NINA APPLEBAUM: She’s free all right.
NINA APPLEBAUM: We all saw, Bradley. Even more special we have a refurbished Announce table, thanks to what crew remains working for the AWE!
BRAD STOKES: I wanna talk about Ana Hayden, though.
In the ring, Ana Hayden has entered with an arrogant stride past Hanzo and placed one foot on the ropes, the other curled behind her, and has taken to arrogantly playing to the roar of the crowd while Hanzo folds his arms and watches unimpressed.
BRAD STOKES: You may have watched the events play out, but you did not SEE. That my chick, Nin-ster. She’s free. The bird flew the coup! She’s innocent.
NINA APPLEBAUM: According to a bumbling fool, Bradley.
BRAD STOKES: You leave Dominic Lawson out of this!
Ana continues to gloat to the fans, urging them to roar louder, pretending to flap her hands like bird wings, to which Brad Stokes cracks up laughing. But Hanzo isn’t impressed. He rushes her and topples her over the ropes sending her crashing outside with a stiff kick to her spine!
BRAD STOKES: Eww… bad form.
NINA APPLEBAUM: She’s free all right.
DING! DING! DING!
Ana struggles to her feet in time for Hanzo to springboard out of the ring and SLAM Ana down to the concrete with a tornado DDT!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Impressive agility by Hanzo Kirigaya!
BRAD STOKES: He’s not letting her taunt the marks. Who does this masked idiot think he is?!
NINA APPLEBAUM: He’s the man who wants to move ahead in the Alpha Cup tournament!
1!
Theo Refano goes to work administering the count from the ring as Hanzo drags Ana to her feet and hits her hard with a standing drop kick that knocks Hayden back into the guard rail! Hanzo kips to his feet amid a slew of cheers from the fans and Hanzo unloads several strong right fists into Ana’s midsection to keep her draped on the railing!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Hanzo is not about to play to the crowd right now. He’s two rounds away from the Alpha Cup! You can feel the urgency in each of those blows!
BRAD STOKES: Yeah, what gives? Doesn’t anyone regard Ana’s freedom as a remarkable achievement the way I do? Shouldn’t we all take, like, a day of remembrance?
2!
NINA APPLEBAUM: I doubt it. She was wrongfully accused and arrested by a sociopath who may, in fact, have killed Thirteen.
BRAD STOKES: If you’re referring to T.S., you better not let his mother hear you. Sorry to you, Mrs. S, or T, or whatever. Thanks for watching!
NINA APPLEBAUM: What kind of Executive brings their mother to work with them like that?!
BRAD STOKES: The winners, Nina.
Hanzo slides Ana back into the ring after a continued assault of fists and elbows before hopping onto the apron and pointing at Ana, marking his spot as the crowd roars.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Hanzo has upped his game each and every outing, fans. He seems to be learning more and more with each passing match!
Hanzo leaps rapidly onto the ropes for a springboard moonsault but Ana lifts her knees up into Hanzo’s midsection!
BRAD STOKES: And yet, all that means nothing when you land on a set of knees, Nina.
NINA APPLEBAUM: A lot of pain for Hanzo!
Ana rolls herself to her feet, mocking the crowd before going to work delivering stomps to the downed Hanzo, then dropping a swift leg drop right down onto Hanzo’s neck then goes for the cover!
1—
NINA APPLEBAUM: Swift kickout by Hanzo there!
Ana grips Hanzo and wheels him up to his feet only to be surprised by a sudden standing headscissor that takes Ana down! Hanzo, in one swift motion shifts position into a seat on the small of Ana’s back and locks on a sudden single leg boston crab!
BRAD STOKES: He’s mighty sprightly, this masked fellow, Nina. Does he not realize Ana got out of prison? She’s suffering ring rust.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Quit making excuses!
BRAD STOKES: I’m just the messenger, Nina.
Hanzo yanks back on Ana’s leg, severely twisting Ana’s back! Ana Hayden screams and growls, squirming to get her hand on the bottom rope! Just as she nears it, Hanzo spots it and lets go of the Crab.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Smart, prescient thinking by Hanzo there. He’s improved by leaps and bounds.
BRAD STOKES: Would you knock it off and get off the kid’s dick, Nina? We need to talk more about Ana’s exploits.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Gotta hype somebody, rudeboy.
BRAD STOKES: That’s my name, don’t wear it out. Do you think this Hanzo kid sleeps in that mask?
NINA APPLEBAUM: I’m not sure, I think so.
BRAD STOKES: Creepy.
Hanzo doesn’t let up, he drags Ana to her feet and lays into her with a backhanded chop that sends Ana reeling into the ropes. Hanzo quickly whips Ana for the rebound against the opposite ropes and slams her down hard with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker!
NINA APPLEBAUM: And the cover from Hanzo!
1…
TW—
BRAD STOKES: Kickout by the Most Valuable Playa. I’d let her pimp my ride, Nina.
Hanzo doesn’t let the count discourage him, lifting Ana’s head up and forcing her to her feet tucking her head under his arm for a suplex clutch. Hanzo heaves Ana up, slingshots her off the ropes and downs her for a quick suplex that rattles the ringboards! Hanzo kips up and over landing atop Ana and starts to lay into her with some mounted punches!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Hanzo has not let up since the opening bell. Ana’s attitude may have riled him up, or he may literally really want this win, either way, Ana’s in trouble.
Hanzo grips Ana by the hair and pulls her to her feet and lays into her with a knife-edge chop Ana Hayden surprisingly grips and turns into an armdrag that sends Hanzo sliding across the canvas. Ana staggers backward with a noticeable wince.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Ana Hayden definitely doesn’t seem as quick on her feet as we’ve grown accustomed since her AWE debut, Brad.
BRAD STOKES: Why do you have to criticize her everything, Nina? HASN’T THE MVP DONE ENOUGH FOR THIS FEDERATION?!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Calm down, I’m expressing concern.
BRAD STOKES: Better be. Was getting ready to remove my belt.
Ana finally musters an attack, swinging a hard kick into Hanzo’s midsection as he rises to his feet that sends him backpedaling. Ana hits a strong right hook that keeps Hanzo reeling, then follows it up with a hard kick that downs Hanzo!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Ana goes for a cover!
1…
TW—
BRAD STOKES: Arrogant kickout in my estimation there by Hanzo.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Ana Hayden made a slow cover, Bradley.
BRAD STOKES: Again with this?
NINA APPLEBAUM: She might not be well, is all I’m saying.
BRAD STOKES: She’s not “well”? Are you kidding me? SHE’S THE M.V.P. Nina. MOST. VALUABLE—
NINA APPLEBAUM: We know what it stands for, Bradley.
BRAD STOKES: I don’t think you damn well do, Nina!
Hayden has Hanzo on his feet and backed into the corner where she’s unloading several shoulder thrusts, a series of knife edge chops then seats Hanzo onto the top turnbuckle, slams her fist into his face before delivering him off the turnbuckle with a superplex that rocks the ring and sends the crowd roaring! Ana slips to a knee and catches a breath before once more going for a cover.
1…
2..
THR--
NINA APPLEBAUM: Kickout! Still, a nicely executed superplex by Ana Hayden on the far larger Hanzo Kirigaya, but still, in spite of my “colleague”’s, and I use the term loosely—
BRAD STOKES: Thank you, thank you.
Ana catches her breath and glares down at Hanzo who stirs vaguely after the superplex.
NINA APPLEBAUM: I still have to point out that Ana Hayden doesn’t seem herself tonight, Bradley.
BRAD STOKES: She’s better, Nina. Like the 6 million dollar MVP or something. She’s Lee Majors. SANS Tracksuit. Maybe that’s coming next, chick’s promoting a new gimmick idea every day on twitter, I don’t know.
Ana grips Hanzo by the back of the head and shifts him back up to his feet only to be hit by a sudden STO that downs Ana amid a hail of cheers from the crowd!
NINA APPLEBAUM: And Hanzo’s still in this thing!
BRAD STOKES: You’re all about hyping this guy, hey? Favoritism will get you no where.
Hanzo grips Ana up to her feet, spins her back to him to keep her disoriented and slams her right back down with an Olympic slam!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Impressive slam by Hanzo! And the cover!
1…
2…
THRE—
BRAD STOKES: Oh good, she kicked out!
NINA APPLEBAUM: What was that about favoritism, Bradley?
BRAD STOKES: I don’t know the meaning of the word.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Clearly.
Hanzo grips Ana back to her feet and lays into her with some shots to stun her then he charges up the ropes and peers off the turnbuckle at Ana, and the roaring crowd and leaps off the turnbuckle with an elbow drop that Ana sidesteps last minute! Hanzo lands into a roll! Ana rebounds off the ropes and SLAMS a rising Hanzo with a bicycle knee!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Stunning exchange! Ana Hayden with the cover!
1…
2…
THR—
NINA APPLEBAUM: Kickout by Hanzo!
Ana braces her back with one hand, her head with the other as she rises to her feet. Hanzo staggers to his knee and quickly rolls her up for a pin!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Quick schoolboy rollup by Hanzo!
1…
2…
THR---
BRAD STOKES: DENIED!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Favoritism, Bradley.
BRAD STOKES: Gonna marry her someday, Nina. Shut up. You’re ruining this.
Hanzo and Ana both stagger to their feet, Ana using the ropes to get herself to her feet, Hanzo stumbles but steadies himself and rushes Ana who ducks, rebounds off the ropes and hits Hanzo with a running single leg dropkick!
NINA APPLEBAUM: SHE WAS ONLY SEVENTEEN!
Ana drops for the cover!
1…
2..
3!!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Impressive agility by Hanzo Kirigaya!
BRAD STOKES: He’s not letting her taunt the marks. Who does this masked idiot think he is?!
NINA APPLEBAUM: He’s the man who wants to move ahead in the Alpha Cup tournament!
1!
Theo Refano goes to work administering the count from the ring as Hanzo drags Ana to her feet and hits her hard with a standing drop kick that knocks Hayden back into the guard rail! Hanzo kips to his feet amid a slew of cheers from the fans and Hanzo unloads several strong right fists into Ana’s midsection to keep her draped on the railing!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Hanzo is not about to play to the crowd right now. He’s two rounds away from the Alpha Cup! You can feel the urgency in each of those blows!
BRAD STOKES: Yeah, what gives? Doesn’t anyone regard Ana’s freedom as a remarkable achievement the way I do? Shouldn’t we all take, like, a day of remembrance?
2!
NINA APPLEBAUM: I doubt it. She was wrongfully accused and arrested by a sociopath who may, in fact, have killed Thirteen.
BRAD STOKES: If you’re referring to T.S., you better not let his mother hear you. Sorry to you, Mrs. S, or T, or whatever. Thanks for watching!
NINA APPLEBAUM: What kind of Executive brings their mother to work with them like that?!
BRAD STOKES: The winners, Nina.
Hanzo slides Ana back into the ring after a continued assault of fists and elbows before hopping onto the apron and pointing at Ana, marking his spot as the crowd roars.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Hanzo has upped his game each and every outing, fans. He seems to be learning more and more with each passing match!
Hanzo leaps rapidly onto the ropes for a springboard moonsault but Ana lifts her knees up into Hanzo’s midsection!
BRAD STOKES: And yet, all that means nothing when you land on a set of knees, Nina.
NINA APPLEBAUM: A lot of pain for Hanzo!
Ana rolls herself to her feet, mocking the crowd before going to work delivering stomps to the downed Hanzo, then dropping a swift leg drop right down onto Hanzo’s neck then goes for the cover!
1—
NINA APPLEBAUM: Swift kickout by Hanzo there!
Ana grips Hanzo and wheels him up to his feet only to be surprised by a sudden standing headscissor that takes Ana down! Hanzo, in one swift motion shifts position into a seat on the small of Ana’s back and locks on a sudden single leg boston crab!
BRAD STOKES: He’s mighty sprightly, this masked fellow, Nina. Does he not realize Ana got out of prison? She’s suffering ring rust.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Quit making excuses!
BRAD STOKES: I’m just the messenger, Nina.
Hanzo yanks back on Ana’s leg, severely twisting Ana’s back! Ana Hayden screams and growls, squirming to get her hand on the bottom rope! Just as she nears it, Hanzo spots it and lets go of the Crab.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Smart, prescient thinking by Hanzo there. He’s improved by leaps and bounds.
BRAD STOKES: Would you knock it off and get off the kid’s dick, Nina? We need to talk more about Ana’s exploits.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Gotta hype somebody, rudeboy.
BRAD STOKES: That’s my name, don’t wear it out. Do you think this Hanzo kid sleeps in that mask?
NINA APPLEBAUM: I’m not sure, I think so.
BRAD STOKES: Creepy.
Hanzo doesn’t let up, he drags Ana to her feet and lays into her with a backhanded chop that sends Ana reeling into the ropes. Hanzo quickly whips Ana for the rebound against the opposite ropes and slams her down hard with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker!
NINA APPLEBAUM: And the cover from Hanzo!
1…
TW—
BRAD STOKES: Kickout by the Most Valuable Playa. I’d let her pimp my ride, Nina.
Hanzo doesn’t let the count discourage him, lifting Ana’s head up and forcing her to her feet tucking her head under his arm for a suplex clutch. Hanzo heaves Ana up, slingshots her off the ropes and downs her for a quick suplex that rattles the ringboards! Hanzo kips up and over landing atop Ana and starts to lay into her with some mounted punches!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Hanzo has not let up since the opening bell. Ana’s attitude may have riled him up, or he may literally really want this win, either way, Ana’s in trouble.
Hanzo grips Ana by the hair and pulls her to her feet and lays into her with a knife-edge chop Ana Hayden surprisingly grips and turns into an armdrag that sends Hanzo sliding across the canvas. Ana staggers backward with a noticeable wince.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Ana Hayden definitely doesn’t seem as quick on her feet as we’ve grown accustomed since her AWE debut, Brad.
BRAD STOKES: Why do you have to criticize her everything, Nina? HASN’T THE MVP DONE ENOUGH FOR THIS FEDERATION?!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Calm down, I’m expressing concern.
BRAD STOKES: Better be. Was getting ready to remove my belt.
Ana finally musters an attack, swinging a hard kick into Hanzo’s midsection as he rises to his feet that sends him backpedaling. Ana hits a strong right hook that keeps Hanzo reeling, then follows it up with a hard kick that downs Hanzo!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Ana goes for a cover!
1…
TW—
BRAD STOKES: Arrogant kickout in my estimation there by Hanzo.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Ana Hayden made a slow cover, Bradley.
BRAD STOKES: Again with this?
NINA APPLEBAUM: She might not be well, is all I’m saying.
BRAD STOKES: She’s not “well”? Are you kidding me? SHE’S THE M.V.P. Nina. MOST. VALUABLE—
NINA APPLEBAUM: We know what it stands for, Bradley.
BRAD STOKES: I don’t think you damn well do, Nina!
Hayden has Hanzo on his feet and backed into the corner where she’s unloading several shoulder thrusts, a series of knife edge chops then seats Hanzo onto the top turnbuckle, slams her fist into his face before delivering him off the turnbuckle with a superplex that rocks the ring and sends the crowd roaring! Ana slips to a knee and catches a breath before once more going for a cover.
1…
2..
THR--
NINA APPLEBAUM: Kickout! Still, a nicely executed superplex by Ana Hayden on the far larger Hanzo Kirigaya, but still, in spite of my “colleague”’s, and I use the term loosely—
BRAD STOKES: Thank you, thank you.
Ana catches her breath and glares down at Hanzo who stirs vaguely after the superplex.
NINA APPLEBAUM: I still have to point out that Ana Hayden doesn’t seem herself tonight, Bradley.
BRAD STOKES: She’s better, Nina. Like the 6 million dollar MVP or something. She’s Lee Majors. SANS Tracksuit. Maybe that’s coming next, chick’s promoting a new gimmick idea every day on twitter, I don’t know.
Ana grips Hanzo by the back of the head and shifts him back up to his feet only to be hit by a sudden STO that downs Ana amid a hail of cheers from the crowd!
NINA APPLEBAUM: And Hanzo’s still in this thing!
BRAD STOKES: You’re all about hyping this guy, hey? Favoritism will get you no where.
Hanzo grips Ana up to her feet, spins her back to him to keep her disoriented and slams her right back down with an Olympic slam!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Impressive slam by Hanzo! And the cover!
1…
2…
THRE—
BRAD STOKES: Oh good, she kicked out!
NINA APPLEBAUM: What was that about favoritism, Bradley?
BRAD STOKES: I don’t know the meaning of the word.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Clearly.
Hanzo grips Ana back to her feet and lays into her with some shots to stun her then he charges up the ropes and peers off the turnbuckle at Ana, and the roaring crowd and leaps off the turnbuckle with an elbow drop that Ana sidesteps last minute! Hanzo lands into a roll! Ana rebounds off the ropes and SLAMS a rising Hanzo with a bicycle knee!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Stunning exchange! Ana Hayden with the cover!
1…
2…
THR—
NINA APPLEBAUM: Kickout by Hanzo!
Ana braces her back with one hand, her head with the other as she rises to her feet. Hanzo staggers to his knee and quickly rolls her up for a pin!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Quick schoolboy rollup by Hanzo!
1…
2…
THR---
BRAD STOKES: DENIED!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Favoritism, Bradley.
BRAD STOKES: Gonna marry her someday, Nina. Shut up. You’re ruining this.
Hanzo and Ana both stagger to their feet, Ana using the ropes to get herself to her feet, Hanzo stumbles but steadies himself and rushes Ana who ducks, rebounds off the ropes and hits Hanzo with a running single leg dropkick!
NINA APPLEBAUM: SHE WAS ONLY SEVENTEEN!
Ana drops for the cover!
1…
2..
3!!
DING! DING! DING!
“Internal Dialogue” by Mind Eraser hits and Ana rises to her feet looking mildly dazed as Theo Refano lifts her hand in victory!
BRAD STOKES: She did it! The double whammy! Beats the rap and advances in one night!!! NOW BRING ON THE SPAGHETTI!
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: HERE IS YOUR WINNER… Advancing to the Semi-Finals of the Alpha Cup Tournament…. ANASTASIA…. HAAAAAAAYDENNNN!!!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Stellar win for Ana Hayden! And she becomes the first to advance in the Alpha Cup!
BRAD STOKES: I always knew it would happen. Check this out, Nina: wrote my name with Ana’s last name on my paper here.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Brad… V… P? That’s not her last name
BRAD STOKES: Not yet. It's only a matter of time before the courts Recognize AnaMVP. Isn’t it great?
NINA APPLEBAUM: Oi. Surely there's something we can cut to backstage to help take my mind off this fiasco right here?
BRAD STOKES: Isn't it cute how I added the little squiggle underlining my name? It's like a little spaghetti noodle of love.
BRAD STOKES: She did it! The double whammy! Beats the rap and advances in one night!!! NOW BRING ON THE SPAGHETTI!
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: HERE IS YOUR WINNER… Advancing to the Semi-Finals of the Alpha Cup Tournament…. ANASTASIA…. HAAAAAAAYDENNNN!!!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Stellar win for Ana Hayden! And she becomes the first to advance in the Alpha Cup!
BRAD STOKES: I always knew it would happen. Check this out, Nina: wrote my name with Ana’s last name on my paper here.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Brad… V… P? That’s not her last name
BRAD STOKES: Not yet. It's only a matter of time before the courts Recognize AnaMVP. Isn’t it great?
NINA APPLEBAUM: Oi. Surely there's something we can cut to backstage to help take my mind off this fiasco right here?
BRAD STOKES: Isn't it cute how I added the little squiggle underlining my name? It's like a little spaghetti noodle of love.