Post by Deleted on Jan 10, 2017 18:29:00 GMT -5
Voice Over: Finally, the world has a hero it can believe in. That's right, the world has a hero and his name is..Dare Clemmens…
Right now, he’s in the bathroom of a gay bar and he’s stripped down to his birthday suit. He’s currently rubbing a soft one off, because he knows he needs that middle of the road semi erection. He's between picturing Kasey Summers covered in maple syrup and having to think about how the Eagles will fix their secondary woes next season. Just needs it to be impressive, but not like he’s actually into dudes.
Does that make sense?
Dare takes a deep breath as he spots the glory hole to his right and thinks it’s just poor craftsmanship.
“Man, that’s really sucky privacy wise,” he thinks out loud.
The man in the next stall replies, “Oh sucking has something to do with it.”
In a world where Dare has never been this exposed to homosexual culture, it’s easy to assume that he's pretty homophobic and/or ignorant. He's about to learn some things, maybe.
Dare looks into his phone’s selfie camera as he hits record, “I made a promise to my fans and despite how completely scared I am right now, I’m going to do this dare just like any other.”
The man in the next stall, looking through the glory hole, says, “You look pretty confident from here, big guy.”
Aided by an immediate uncomfortable rush of homophobia, Dare rushes out of the toilet stall. The guy in the stall next to him exits and looks at Dare's reflection. Both men marvel at how lean he is and how perfect his muscles look without the aid of oil, steroids, or even digitally inserted ab lines.
“Really tight.” the stranger nods, right before slapping Dare’s ass.
Dare has no idea what’s in store for him. All he can think about is how gay it’s going to be. All these gay guys are going to crowd him, grab his butt, and probably latch right onto his dangle. He’s frightened. He knows how guys are about women and figures it’s ten times as worse when it comes to naked fit dudes with just the right amount of chest hair.
He pushes the bathroom door open and looks out to see a bar full of dudes. He lets the door close quickly and turns his attention back to his phone which is still recording.
Remember that scene from close to the ending of The Blair Witch Project?
Dare’s homophobic fears overtake him and he starts to tear up a little bit.
“I just want to apologize to Tony's mom and Erica's mom and my mom and I'm sorry to everyone. I was very naive.”
A guy enters the bathroom and steps past Dare who is now cowering in a crouched position beside the door.
He whispers, “What was that?”
Dare wipes his nose which is now running and continues, “I was very naive and very stupid and I shouldn't have put other myself in danger for something that was all about me and my selfish need to please my fans. I'm so sorry for everything that has happened because in spite of what Tony says, now it is my fault. Because it was my dare and I insisted on everything. I insisted I be naked. I insisted it be a gay bar. I insisted we walk south.” Dare’s expression turns to a confused one for a moment before he shakes his head and continues, “Everything had to be my way and this is where we've ended up. I love you mom and dad. I am so sorry.”
The creeper heads out of the bathroom and gives Dare’s cheek a caress before he goes. Dare pulls away with a shiver.
Again he whispers, nearly hyperventilating, “What was that?”
Now his nose is just free flowing boogers and snot like it’s become his favorite pass-time. Dare shakes his head, eyes red from tears and continues, “It was never my intention to hurt anyone and I hope that's clear. I am so scared. I'm scared to close my eyes and I'm scared to open them. I'm going to die in this...surprisingly clean mens bathroom.”
Dare stands up, still sad and with his ignorance slash homophobia clouding his judgement. He tries to give himself a pep talk.
“Come on! You’re a Clemmens! Get it together! What would your uncle say?” he thinks a moment, “Dare, you’re a giant discredit to the family. Bad call. Come on!” He slaps himself in the face.
This time he gains an awkward glare from a guy exiting the bathroom.
Dare shakes it off and finally steps out the door to the bathroom. He walks right into the center of the dance floor of the bar while all the patrons step back to take a look at him.
“Hi, I’m Dare Clemmens. You might know me from the recent episode of AWE’s Massacre. I know I’m naked and I know what you’re probably thinking, but I’m here to talk about Bindy Trent. She’s my opponent and I know, probably lame for you to hear about a female, but listen up! She’s totally gay best friend material. She’s deceptively smart, funny, humble, and is really physically fit,” Dare lifts a preventative finger, “But let’s just try to get over the fact that she has a vagina, ok? You guys think they’re super gross, but let’s get real, ok? You wouldn’t be here if not for vaginas, fallopian tubes, uteruses, and all that other baby making stuff.”
Pure silence.
“Furthermore…”
Before Dare can continue, he’s apprehended by the bar’s bouncer…
“Alright buddy, enough.” The bouncer says
The bouncer drags Dare to the door to the bar as the patrons turn their attention back to what they were doing.
Before throwing Dare out of the bar, the bouncer tells him, “Not all gay men want to see some naked dude, ok? Especially some homophobe like you,” then Dare is sent ass first into the snowy sidewalk outside the bar.
“Homophobe? What?”
End
Right now, he’s in the bathroom of a gay bar and he’s stripped down to his birthday suit. He’s currently rubbing a soft one off, because he knows he needs that middle of the road semi erection. He's between picturing Kasey Summers covered in maple syrup and having to think about how the Eagles will fix their secondary woes next season. Just needs it to be impressive, but not like he’s actually into dudes.
Does that make sense?
Dare takes a deep breath as he spots the glory hole to his right and thinks it’s just poor craftsmanship.
“Man, that’s really sucky privacy wise,” he thinks out loud.
The man in the next stall replies, “Oh sucking has something to do with it.”
In a world where Dare has never been this exposed to homosexual culture, it’s easy to assume that he's pretty homophobic and/or ignorant. He's about to learn some things, maybe.
Dare looks into his phone’s selfie camera as he hits record, “I made a promise to my fans and despite how completely scared I am right now, I’m going to do this dare just like any other.”
The man in the next stall, looking through the glory hole, says, “You look pretty confident from here, big guy.”
Aided by an immediate uncomfortable rush of homophobia, Dare rushes out of the toilet stall. The guy in the stall next to him exits and looks at Dare's reflection. Both men marvel at how lean he is and how perfect his muscles look without the aid of oil, steroids, or even digitally inserted ab lines.
“Really tight.” the stranger nods, right before slapping Dare’s ass.
Dare has no idea what’s in store for him. All he can think about is how gay it’s going to be. All these gay guys are going to crowd him, grab his butt, and probably latch right onto his dangle. He’s frightened. He knows how guys are about women and figures it’s ten times as worse when it comes to naked fit dudes with just the right amount of chest hair.
He pushes the bathroom door open and looks out to see a bar full of dudes. He lets the door close quickly and turns his attention back to his phone which is still recording.
Remember that scene from close to the ending of The Blair Witch Project?
Dare’s homophobic fears overtake him and he starts to tear up a little bit.
“I just want to apologize to Tony's mom and Erica's mom and my mom and I'm sorry to everyone. I was very naive.”
A guy enters the bathroom and steps past Dare who is now cowering in a crouched position beside the door.
He whispers, “What was that?”
Dare wipes his nose which is now running and continues, “I was very naive and very stupid and I shouldn't have put other myself in danger for something that was all about me and my selfish need to please my fans. I'm so sorry for everything that has happened because in spite of what Tony says, now it is my fault. Because it was my dare and I insisted on everything. I insisted I be naked. I insisted it be a gay bar. I insisted we walk south.” Dare’s expression turns to a confused one for a moment before he shakes his head and continues, “Everything had to be my way and this is where we've ended up. I love you mom and dad. I am so sorry.”
The creeper heads out of the bathroom and gives Dare’s cheek a caress before he goes. Dare pulls away with a shiver.
Again he whispers, nearly hyperventilating, “What was that?”
Now his nose is just free flowing boogers and snot like it’s become his favorite pass-time. Dare shakes his head, eyes red from tears and continues, “It was never my intention to hurt anyone and I hope that's clear. I am so scared. I'm scared to close my eyes and I'm scared to open them. I'm going to die in this...surprisingly clean mens bathroom.”
Dare stands up, still sad and with his ignorance slash homophobia clouding his judgement. He tries to give himself a pep talk.
“Come on! You’re a Clemmens! Get it together! What would your uncle say?” he thinks a moment, “Dare, you’re a giant discredit to the family. Bad call. Come on!” He slaps himself in the face.
This time he gains an awkward glare from a guy exiting the bathroom.
Dare shakes it off and finally steps out the door to the bathroom. He walks right into the center of the dance floor of the bar while all the patrons step back to take a look at him.
“Hi, I’m Dare Clemmens. You might know me from the recent episode of AWE’s Massacre. I know I’m naked and I know what you’re probably thinking, but I’m here to talk about Bindy Trent. She’s my opponent and I know, probably lame for you to hear about a female, but listen up! She’s totally gay best friend material. She’s deceptively smart, funny, humble, and is really physically fit,” Dare lifts a preventative finger, “But let’s just try to get over the fact that she has a vagina, ok? You guys think they’re super gross, but let’s get real, ok? You wouldn’t be here if not for vaginas, fallopian tubes, uteruses, and all that other baby making stuff.”
Pure silence.
“Furthermore…”
Before Dare can continue, he’s apprehended by the bar’s bouncer…
“Alright buddy, enough.” The bouncer says
The bouncer drags Dare to the door to the bar as the patrons turn their attention back to what they were doing.
Before throwing Dare out of the bar, the bouncer tells him, “Not all gay men want to see some naked dude, ok? Especially some homophobe like you,” then Dare is sent ass first into the snowy sidewalk outside the bar.
“Homophobe? What?”
End