Post by Austin Gale on Jan 31, 2017 17:35:11 GMT -5
Balloons and puppets. That is what litters the not-so elaborate set. Among them are pictures of Wolfe’s best friends Bobby, Benny, Carty and Mikey lining the shelf that makes up the back of the set. The two chairs placed before the shelf can only mean one thing; the Puppet Pals Play Pen has returned!
Running onto the set, Wolfe takes a giant, one foot leap and lands cross-legged on his seat. His Co-Host, The Franchinger, is already on his hand and ready.
Wolfe: “That’s right! It’s time for the Puppet Pals Play Pen! Wolfe’s guest tonight is none-other than the greatest cameraman alive, Fernando!"
The camera pans out showing Fernando now sitting in the seat opposite Wolfe. The two stare at each other with blank smiles across their faces. After a few moments of what seems like a frozen video, Austin Gale walks onto the set.
Austin: “What the fuck. Wolfe, you’re interviewing me not this brick that can’t even work a camera. Get off the set, Fernando."
Hanging his head, Fernando rises to his feet. He takes his place behind the camera as Austin takes his seat. Reaching into his suit jacket, Austin pulls out a flask.
Austin: “Now, I agreed to do this because you generally have success with this show. Now let’s get on with the questions, shall we?"
Taking a swig from his flask, Austin stares at Wolfe. Wolfe’s expression hasn’t changed since the moment he locked eyes with Fernando.
Wolfe: “So Not-Fernando, you have a match between yourself, Zack Fantana, Bindy Trent and Dare Clemmens. Who do you think is the biggest threat?"
Austin: “Fucking Dare Clemmens. Have you seen that guy? Heard him? Actually listened to a word he says? He’s packed full of ‘Your mom’ jokes, arrogance, hair gel and general douche-baggery. He’s the kind of person who can have a whole conversation using only the word ‘bro’ and it’s variants. The kind of guy who goes to the party to ‘pick-up chicks’ and goes home, alone, and jerks it to Coronation Street. The guy that sits in his car, car running, talking into a camera and yet it’s the shit he’s spewing that is worse for the environment. You could suck back ten balloons worth of helium and it would still be better for your brain than his ramblings. He frequents gay bars because it’s a dare and it’s funny but meanwhile it’s just insulting to an entire culture. He sends unsolicited dick pics like every college frat boy that can’t figure out why he can’t get laid. You mock the way someone talks and acts just because people voted it on Twitter. Dare, you’re not universally loved. You’re universally despised. You’re as big of a piece of shit as I am with the only difference being that I have the balls to admit it."
Wolfe: “Wolfe is pretty sure that didn’t answer his question. Which opponent is the biggest threat?"
Austin: “That piece of shit likes to use Twitter as a way to insult people and instigate them. He likes to speak but doesn’t like to listen. Doesn’t like to be observant. He thinks you’re my friend, Wolfe. He can’t even figure out we’re brothers. He says I’m shallow and superficial yet adds a voice over to his promos about being ‘chiseled’ and other physical attributes no one gives a damn about."
Wolfe: “Wolfe is pretty sure you forgot there are other opponents in this match. What about Bindy and…”
Austin: “Bindy Trent. I dislike you. I have no real reason to dislike you but I do. Maybe it’s the nature of the game. Your overly happy attitude. Your unrequited friendliness to your opponents. You went into your match with Dare with the attitude that winner or lose, you would be happy. That you would get up and shake his hand. But you won. You didn’t have to stand up and shake the winner’s hand. What happens when you do? What happens when your happy little bubble gets burst and you plummet back to planet Earth? Or you take a spill off the top of the ladder and just can’t get back to your feet? What happens when you step in that ring with me and I break you? I’ll tell you what happens. You’ll become depressed. Jaded. Arrogant. You won’t give a damn about anyone but yourself. You will be like the rest of us, Bindy. And you’re afraid of that. You’re afraid that when you inevitably start to lose more and more, people will only care about your tits and ass. Just like the doll that my cameraman has resting on his end table."
Wolfe: “You probably shouldn’t talk about a lady like that."
Austin: “Shut the fuck up! This is my show now!"
Lunging across the set, Austin has his arms outstretched as if he’s ready to grab Wolfe by the throat. The camera freezes as the allotted time for this episode has ran out.
Will Austin actually hurt his brother? Will he finally answer the question he’s been ignoring? Will The Franchinger finally speak? All that and more when we return to the Puppet Pals Play Pen.
Running onto the set, Wolfe takes a giant, one foot leap and lands cross-legged on his seat. His Co-Host, The Franchinger, is already on his hand and ready.
Wolfe: “That’s right! It’s time for the Puppet Pals Play Pen! Wolfe’s guest tonight is none-other than the greatest cameraman alive, Fernando!"
The camera pans out showing Fernando now sitting in the seat opposite Wolfe. The two stare at each other with blank smiles across their faces. After a few moments of what seems like a frozen video, Austin Gale walks onto the set.
Austin: “What the fuck. Wolfe, you’re interviewing me not this brick that can’t even work a camera. Get off the set, Fernando."
Hanging his head, Fernando rises to his feet. He takes his place behind the camera as Austin takes his seat. Reaching into his suit jacket, Austin pulls out a flask.
Austin: “Now, I agreed to do this because you generally have success with this show. Now let’s get on with the questions, shall we?"
Taking a swig from his flask, Austin stares at Wolfe. Wolfe’s expression hasn’t changed since the moment he locked eyes with Fernando.
Wolfe: “So Not-Fernando, you have a match between yourself, Zack Fantana, Bindy Trent and Dare Clemmens. Who do you think is the biggest threat?"
Austin: “Fucking Dare Clemmens. Have you seen that guy? Heard him? Actually listened to a word he says? He’s packed full of ‘Your mom’ jokes, arrogance, hair gel and general douche-baggery. He’s the kind of person who can have a whole conversation using only the word ‘bro’ and it’s variants. The kind of guy who goes to the party to ‘pick-up chicks’ and goes home, alone, and jerks it to Coronation Street. The guy that sits in his car, car running, talking into a camera and yet it’s the shit he’s spewing that is worse for the environment. You could suck back ten balloons worth of helium and it would still be better for your brain than his ramblings. He frequents gay bars because it’s a dare and it’s funny but meanwhile it’s just insulting to an entire culture. He sends unsolicited dick pics like every college frat boy that can’t figure out why he can’t get laid. You mock the way someone talks and acts just because people voted it on Twitter. Dare, you’re not universally loved. You’re universally despised. You’re as big of a piece of shit as I am with the only difference being that I have the balls to admit it."
Wolfe: “Wolfe is pretty sure that didn’t answer his question. Which opponent is the biggest threat?"
Austin: “That piece of shit likes to use Twitter as a way to insult people and instigate them. He likes to speak but doesn’t like to listen. Doesn’t like to be observant. He thinks you’re my friend, Wolfe. He can’t even figure out we’re brothers. He says I’m shallow and superficial yet adds a voice over to his promos about being ‘chiseled’ and other physical attributes no one gives a damn about."
Wolfe: “Wolfe is pretty sure you forgot there are other opponents in this match. What about Bindy and…”
Austin: “Bindy Trent. I dislike you. I have no real reason to dislike you but I do. Maybe it’s the nature of the game. Your overly happy attitude. Your unrequited friendliness to your opponents. You went into your match with Dare with the attitude that winner or lose, you would be happy. That you would get up and shake his hand. But you won. You didn’t have to stand up and shake the winner’s hand. What happens when you do? What happens when your happy little bubble gets burst and you plummet back to planet Earth? Or you take a spill off the top of the ladder and just can’t get back to your feet? What happens when you step in that ring with me and I break you? I’ll tell you what happens. You’ll become depressed. Jaded. Arrogant. You won’t give a damn about anyone but yourself. You will be like the rest of us, Bindy. And you’re afraid of that. You’re afraid that when you inevitably start to lose more and more, people will only care about your tits and ass. Just like the doll that my cameraman has resting on his end table."
Wolfe: “You probably shouldn’t talk about a lady like that."
Austin: “Shut the fuck up! This is my show now!"
Lunging across the set, Austin has his arms outstretched as if he’s ready to grab Wolfe by the throat. The camera freezes as the allotted time for this episode has ran out.
Will Austin actually hurt his brother? Will he finally answer the question he’s been ignoring? Will The Franchinger finally speak? All that and more when we return to the Puppet Pals Play Pen.