Post by Deleted on Feb 9, 2017 13:27:27 GMT -5
Voice Over: “Finally, Dare Clemmens has won the Resilience Championship. He's done all of those awesome things you’d expect a cool guy with great teeth and majestic blue eyes to do.”
“Claiming the belt doesn’t mark the end of his journey. First step for our hero is facing off with Dom Lawson--one of many opponents to come. If he doesn’t want to look like a little one hit wonder bitch, he’d better defend this championship like he’s Bjork protecting her baby.”
“You know, that time she went ape shit on that reporter in Bangkok?”
“Haha, Bangkok.”
“Anyway, we catch up with Dare at a local bar, researching what it must feel like to be a drunken bastard like Dom Lawson.”
“Our hero has transformed himself into redneck Dare. He’s got a mullet, a killer mustache, he’s wearing motor oil stained jeans, old dirty Voit sneakers, and tying it all together is a pretty sweet tuxedo t-shirt. He’s already been kicked out of the bar for being drunk and belligerent. Now he’s standing outside the bar drinking some Zima’s he brought along with him.”
Dare: Here we are outside of a bar which would likely draw the interest of Dom Lawson. It has all the trappings of one he’d frequent. It’s definitely Irish, because when I walked in there and asked for a beer, they just spit at me. Bartender told me he served only Irish Whiskey and wow.
“He hiccups, like the sexy Hero-Man he is.”
Dare: It has some punch--probably has a similar punch to Dom Lawson himself. You know this guy. He’s that scrappy fighter who says he has 'nothing to lose' and is ready to prove it. Are we sure of this? Here’s the thing: No matter how hard a punch Dom throws, he’s lying to you when he says that he’s got nothing to lose. How do I know this? These words: Embittered, Frustrated, Disheartened, Angry.
“He lets out a large belch before knocking back another tug of his Zima and by god he looks good doing it.”
Dare: Those four words are all emotions Dom feels and why? I’ll tell you guys right now. It’s because he’s in his thirties now and he knows that this is likely his last shot to make it big. Here he is in a title match against this millennial and he knows that if he loses this one, that it’s all over for him. His days are numbered and his clock is ticking away just as hard as my heart is beating right now because of all the sugar in this Zima. Sheesh. What I’m saying is that this guy has everything to lose. He’s not going to fool me, or anyone for that matter, with his ‘nothing to lose’ diatribe.
“Meanwhile, the bar tender has called the police on this Redneck version of our Hero.”
Cop: We’re on our way to Shitty McFly’s Bar, responding to a drunk and disorderly, apparently have a guy threatening some other guy with physical harm.
“Dare’s eyes widen as the police cruiser pulls up and the Cops roll out.”
Dare: Oh so I get it, I’m going to fight the Law before I fight the Law. Ha. Good one. Hold on boys, I have two Zima’s left.
“Dare reaches for another Zima as the police approach him”
Cop: Ok buddy, what’s going on here? Drank too much?
“Dare just nods.”
Dare: Yep I have, Law-Dog. Been drinking to get myself into the mindset of this guy called Dom Lawson. See, this guy, he’s wanting to be this big time wrestler and finally make a name for himself, but honestly, every time I see this guy chilling out, he’s at a bar. He’s always at a bar. He’s lost a few, won a few, but he’s always at a bar. This is a problem. See, like me, this is the second time I’ve drank, lifetime. Dom? He drinks, as far as I can tell, like, all the time. He’s already scared of not making it in fighting, so he turns to the bottle? That’s not going to help him at all. You can’t fight with a beer gut.
“Dare pulls up his tuxedo t-shirt, showing off his flawless manly abs. He flexes.”
Dare: This is what you fight with. Muscles. Right? Go ahead, touch them. They’re hard as, well muscular abs.
“Dare hiccups.”
Cop: So this Dom Lawson, you want to hurt him? Did he do something to you?
Dare: Nope. He’s just the guy that’s been put in front of me. I’ll be real with you. I kinda like him. I respect that he puts it all out there on the line every night, but honestly, he’s my enemy. He wants what’s mine and that’s just not cool.
Cop: Oh he’s after your girlfriend?
Dare: Well I guess you could say that he’s after my love, but nah, it’s more of this leather and gold thing.
Cop: Ok… Well how about you come with us and we’ll let you dry out overnight and get you home.
Dare: Oh, nah, I’m good. I have more to say about this Lawson guy.
Cop: How about you tell us in the car?
Dare: No.
“Dare points behind the cops and makes a scared face, it’s seriously scary.”
Dare: Oh my god! That black guy looks like that dude from Ferguson!
“The cops, fooled by our hero, turn around to look and Dare puts his Voit sneakers to use and runs for it! The cops, realizing there’s nobody there, turn around and chase down Dare and tackle him!”
Cop: That’s it buddy! You’re coming with us!
“The cops cuff Dare as he resists!”
Dare: No! I have a Zima left and more to say about Dom Lawson. I’m gonna fight the Law!
Cop: Yeah you are and the Law’s about to win!
“The scene closes with our hero being taken back to the Police car, his future uncertain.”
End.
“Claiming the belt doesn’t mark the end of his journey. First step for our hero is facing off with Dom Lawson--one of many opponents to come. If he doesn’t want to look like a little one hit wonder bitch, he’d better defend this championship like he’s Bjork protecting her baby.”
“You know, that time she went ape shit on that reporter in Bangkok?”
“Haha, Bangkok.”
“Anyway, we catch up with Dare at a local bar, researching what it must feel like to be a drunken bastard like Dom Lawson.”
“Our hero has transformed himself into redneck Dare. He’s got a mullet, a killer mustache, he’s wearing motor oil stained jeans, old dirty Voit sneakers, and tying it all together is a pretty sweet tuxedo t-shirt. He’s already been kicked out of the bar for being drunk and belligerent. Now he’s standing outside the bar drinking some Zima’s he brought along with him.”
Dare: Here we are outside of a bar which would likely draw the interest of Dom Lawson. It has all the trappings of one he’d frequent. It’s definitely Irish, because when I walked in there and asked for a beer, they just spit at me. Bartender told me he served only Irish Whiskey and wow.
“He hiccups, like the sexy Hero-Man he is.”
Dare: It has some punch--probably has a similar punch to Dom Lawson himself. You know this guy. He’s that scrappy fighter who says he has 'nothing to lose' and is ready to prove it. Are we sure of this? Here’s the thing: No matter how hard a punch Dom throws, he’s lying to you when he says that he’s got nothing to lose. How do I know this? These words: Embittered, Frustrated, Disheartened, Angry.
“He lets out a large belch before knocking back another tug of his Zima and by god he looks good doing it.”
Dare: Those four words are all emotions Dom feels and why? I’ll tell you guys right now. It’s because he’s in his thirties now and he knows that this is likely his last shot to make it big. Here he is in a title match against this millennial and he knows that if he loses this one, that it’s all over for him. His days are numbered and his clock is ticking away just as hard as my heart is beating right now because of all the sugar in this Zima. Sheesh. What I’m saying is that this guy has everything to lose. He’s not going to fool me, or anyone for that matter, with his ‘nothing to lose’ diatribe.
“Meanwhile, the bar tender has called the police on this Redneck version of our Hero.”
Cop: We’re on our way to Shitty McFly’s Bar, responding to a drunk and disorderly, apparently have a guy threatening some other guy with physical harm.
“Dare’s eyes widen as the police cruiser pulls up and the Cops roll out.”
Dare: Oh so I get it, I’m going to fight the Law before I fight the Law. Ha. Good one. Hold on boys, I have two Zima’s left.
“Dare reaches for another Zima as the police approach him”
Cop: Ok buddy, what’s going on here? Drank too much?
“Dare just nods.”
Dare: Yep I have, Law-Dog. Been drinking to get myself into the mindset of this guy called Dom Lawson. See, this guy, he’s wanting to be this big time wrestler and finally make a name for himself, but honestly, every time I see this guy chilling out, he’s at a bar. He’s always at a bar. He’s lost a few, won a few, but he’s always at a bar. This is a problem. See, like me, this is the second time I’ve drank, lifetime. Dom? He drinks, as far as I can tell, like, all the time. He’s already scared of not making it in fighting, so he turns to the bottle? That’s not going to help him at all. You can’t fight with a beer gut.
“Dare pulls up his tuxedo t-shirt, showing off his flawless manly abs. He flexes.”
Dare: This is what you fight with. Muscles. Right? Go ahead, touch them. They’re hard as, well muscular abs.
“Dare hiccups.”
Cop: So this Dom Lawson, you want to hurt him? Did he do something to you?
Dare: Nope. He’s just the guy that’s been put in front of me. I’ll be real with you. I kinda like him. I respect that he puts it all out there on the line every night, but honestly, he’s my enemy. He wants what’s mine and that’s just not cool.
Cop: Oh he’s after your girlfriend?
Dare: Well I guess you could say that he’s after my love, but nah, it’s more of this leather and gold thing.
Cop: Ok… Well how about you come with us and we’ll let you dry out overnight and get you home.
Dare: Oh, nah, I’m good. I have more to say about this Lawson guy.
Cop: How about you tell us in the car?
Dare: No.
“Dare points behind the cops and makes a scared face, it’s seriously scary.”
Dare: Oh my god! That black guy looks like that dude from Ferguson!
“The cops, fooled by our hero, turn around to look and Dare puts his Voit sneakers to use and runs for it! The cops, realizing there’s nobody there, turn around and chase down Dare and tackle him!”
Cop: That’s it buddy! You’re coming with us!
“The cops cuff Dare as he resists!”
Dare: No! I have a Zima left and more to say about Dom Lawson. I’m gonna fight the Law!
Cop: Yeah you are and the Law’s about to win!
“The scene closes with our hero being taken back to the Police car, his future uncertain.”
End.