Post by Staff on Feb 19, 2017 14:41:27 GMT -5
She preferred artificial flowers, like the one Tony Chu clutches in his hand as he strolled down the hospital corridor casually smoking a cigarette in his three-piece Brooks Brothers suit. He passed the no-smoking signs and ignored the orderly pursuing him and urging him to butt out. He stopped in front of her door and flicked the cigarette down on the floor and gingerly rubbed it under the sole of his designer Bruno Magli’s, careful not to scuff the sole. He inhaled deeply, continued to ignore the orderly and slipped inside of her bedroom at the same time a bright smile appeared on his face.
TONY CHU: How’s my beautifully recovered new CO—
His smile dropped, and a frown crept onto his brow as his momentum stopped. He stared confusedly at the now empty hospital bed. A blink before he turned to the orderly who had stooped to collect his cigarette butt.
TONY CHU: Where’s the girl that was here?
ORDERLY: I’m sorry. She’s no longer with us.
Tony felt his frown harden into a scowl.
TONY CHU: What are you saying?
ORDERLY: She’s passed on.
TONY CHU: What…?
The orderly shrugged, eyeing Tony with sympathy before walking away leaving Tony to rapidly descend into grief. She’d been struck at Executive Action by that accursed Masked Man, undoubtedly at the behest of the freshly deposed Thomas Shane Elliot. She’d been hospitalized, and the damage was hard to guage, was the last Tony had heard. He’d stayed at her bedside, and heard all the news, and seemed to be improving, leading up to this the day she’d be let out just in time to ascend to her newfound place as Chief Operating Officer of the AWE.
As Tony crushed the artificial stem in his fist and turned back to her bed feeling the oddity of moisture falling from his tear ducts, he couldn’t stop the sob from coming, and soon he fell to his knees, face plummeting into the freshly made bed that would now cushion Tony’s grief as he let it out in a torrent.
TONY CHU: It was all just starting to go right!
He groaned, muffled by the pillow and sobbed. His tears staining the pillow.
…: What are you doing?
He recognized that voice. He lifted his face from the pillow, blinked and craned his neck to face her. Kassandrah.
TONY CHU: Oh. I was… just smelling your pillow.
He sniffled. Her smirked implied her level of awareness as Tony stood up from the bed, embarrassed.
TONY CHU: They said you’d… passed on.
KASSANDRAH: Yeah. I passed on staying another night. I’ve got a company to take over, remember?
TONY CHU: Right.
Tony lowered his head to the artificial rose whose wiry frame had been bent out of shape. He lowered and lifted it up to her, warts and all. She leaned in, eyes remaining on his and pretended to smell from it’s fake petals.
KASSANDRAH: It’s perfect.
She smiled coyly, and he watched her with a mixture of adoration and perpetual discovery as she plucked the flower from his hand and fixed it into her hair. He outstretched a hand. She took it. And with silence as their eyes met, they began a celebratory dance of a new life at the top, where he’d always wanted to be, and where she never bothered to trek to.
Thus is how began a new era in the AWE.
TONY CHU: How’s my beautifully recovered new CO—
His smile dropped, and a frown crept onto his brow as his momentum stopped. He stared confusedly at the now empty hospital bed. A blink before he turned to the orderly who had stooped to collect his cigarette butt.
TONY CHU: Where’s the girl that was here?
ORDERLY: I’m sorry. She’s no longer with us.
Tony felt his frown harden into a scowl.
TONY CHU: What are you saying?
ORDERLY: She’s passed on.
TONY CHU: What…?
The orderly shrugged, eyeing Tony with sympathy before walking away leaving Tony to rapidly descend into grief. She’d been struck at Executive Action by that accursed Masked Man, undoubtedly at the behest of the freshly deposed Thomas Shane Elliot. She’d been hospitalized, and the damage was hard to guage, was the last Tony had heard. He’d stayed at her bedside, and heard all the news, and seemed to be improving, leading up to this the day she’d be let out just in time to ascend to her newfound place as Chief Operating Officer of the AWE.
As Tony crushed the artificial stem in his fist and turned back to her bed feeling the oddity of moisture falling from his tear ducts, he couldn’t stop the sob from coming, and soon he fell to his knees, face plummeting into the freshly made bed that would now cushion Tony’s grief as he let it out in a torrent.
TONY CHU: It was all just starting to go right!
He groaned, muffled by the pillow and sobbed. His tears staining the pillow.
…: What are you doing?
He recognized that voice. He lifted his face from the pillow, blinked and craned his neck to face her. Kassandrah.
TONY CHU: Oh. I was… just smelling your pillow.
He sniffled. Her smirked implied her level of awareness as Tony stood up from the bed, embarrassed.
TONY CHU: They said you’d… passed on.
KASSANDRAH: Yeah. I passed on staying another night. I’ve got a company to take over, remember?
TONY CHU: Right.
Tony lowered his head to the artificial rose whose wiry frame had been bent out of shape. He lowered and lifted it up to her, warts and all. She leaned in, eyes remaining on his and pretended to smell from it’s fake petals.
KASSANDRAH: It’s perfect.
She smiled coyly, and he watched her with a mixture of adoration and perpetual discovery as she plucked the flower from his hand and fixed it into her hair. He outstretched a hand. She took it. And with silence as their eyes met, they began a celebratory dance of a new life at the top, where he’d always wanted to be, and where she never bothered to trek to.
Thus is how began a new era in the AWE.
We go live from the Prairie Capital Convention Center in Springfield, Illinois where the sold-out crowd is clamoring at the guard rails and out of their seats for a chance to be on AWE television! The lights scan the crowd as heavy music pumps them up. We pass over crowd signs waving exuberantly to be noticed!
Overhead camera angles intermingle with panoramics and sweeping pans and tilts to showcase just how wild and excited this crowd is as the AlphaTron flashes clips of so many wrestling highlights from all the Massacre’s leading up to now. We center on the AWE Announce Desk where the ever elegant Nina Applebaum smiles, while beside her, decked out in sunglasses and a “KASSANDRAH ROOLZ” ball cap (with the brim bent obnoxiously upward), a “THE FUTURE OF AWE” black t-shirt and waving a “KASSANDRAH IS #1” Foam Finger is the ever magnanimous Brad Stokes smiling wide.
BRAD STOKES: WELCOME WELCOME! One and all!
NINA APPLEBAUM: I’m Nina Applebaum here with the ultimate band-wagon jumper, Bradley Stokes.
BRAD STOKES: I pick only winners, Nina.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Always after the fact, it seems.
BRAD STOKES: I’m selling merch just by sitting here. What are you doing?
NINA APPLEBAUM: I am introducing those watching at home to the exciting night of wrestling action we have in store! We are 2 weeks past the history-making event Executive Action, folks! Titles changed hands, feuds were settled, and new feuds started—
BRAD STOKES: AND WE GOT A NEW FREAKIN’ COO, BABY!!!
Brad waves his foam finger.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Yes. And while we leave behind all of what came before, including the truth of who Bradley was rooting for, we’re here now at Massacre number eight with a lot of momentum to build! We’ve got a lot of matches on the bill! Former Resilience Champion Zack Fantana will be in action tonight against Tommy Stone!
BRAD STOKES: Should’ve been the main event, if you ask me.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Every match tonight is main event worthy, Bradley. We’ve got “Country Fine” James Radford partnering up with the very woman he battled seemingly to the ends of the earth with 2 weeks ago for the Alpha Cup, when he and Anastasia Hayden square off against newly minted number one contender Aaron Pace, and our freshly crowned Paramount Champion!
BRAD STOKES: Easily any of those competitors could challenge for the Paramount Championship right now and it wouldn’t look out of place.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Absolutely. Signs that, under new management, there’s still an eye towards setting the talent up with the matches guaranteed to push them to shine even brighter! We will also see Dare Clemmens defend his Resilience Championship against Bradley’s favorite wrestler—
BRAD STOKES: George “The Animal” Steele!
NINA APPLEBAUM: That’s right!—No. Wait. No. I meant Dom Lawson!
BRAD STOKES: He’s not my favorite wrestler. In my world he was never born. You’re mistaken.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Well, what’s one more about face, right Bradley?
BRAD STOKES: Exactly!
NINA APPLEBAUM: We also have the new Dynamic Champions squaring off in an unorthodox threeway tag match tonight that sees Jessie Roberts and Hubert Smalls find themselves partnered up against Ketsuekigata Z and Blue Impulse, which should be interesting.
BRAD STOKES: I’ve requested two body bags be sent down to ringside as soon as the bell on that match rings. And look what we have here.
Down the ramp strolls a small entourage of people led by none other than an elegantly dressed and coiffed Kassandrah holding hands with the dapper Tony Chu. Behind them is Thirteen who smiles and waves kindly to the fans, alongside Todd Reid who brings with him a briefcase. Behind them, Rodney P, The ever mildly imposing French Mime Assassins security team duo, and the massively tall but perennially silent syrup-purveyor, Mister Mississagi.
BRAD STOKES: What is it with these amateurs and their no entrance music? How do you know what you’re getting?
NINA APPLEBAUM: You know who they are!
BRAD STOKES: From now on, generic music is the Sinister Minister’s music.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Eerie church bells?
BRAD STOKES: You know I love that shit, Nina.
The entourage enters the ring, and a microphone is passed along to Kassandrah who is clearly shy but bravely ready for this moment.
KASSANDRAH: Hello, AWE.
The crowd cheers.
KASSANDRAH: You’ve barely met me.
There’s the heckles from the crowd, but nothing deters Kassandrah as she demures a moment, you can hear the stammer in her voice. She looks at those standing in the ring with her. Thirteen gives her the fist of solidarity gesture, and Kass continues.
KASSANDRAH: I’ve never ran a wrestling company in my life. I’m, likely, the one person who shouldn’t be—
A loud shout is heard at the top of the ramp.
…: STOP THE SHOW!
All eyes are on the top of the ramp where a disheveled Francis Ford Cuppola stands. His beard smeared with blue and white cake frosting. His shirt untucked, partially unbuttoned and similarly smeared with pastry and frosting. He has a microphone and glares down to the ring as he strides slowly and purposefully down towards the disturbed gathering in between the ropes.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: THIS WILL NOT STAND!
You can hear Rodney through Kass’ microphone.
RODNEY P: Francis—
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: That’s enough, Rodney! I will not allow this FARCE to continue!
He walks up the ring steps and glares in at all of them at once, if that were possible.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: I won’t allow it! I WILL NOT! RESIST! Everyone! RESIST!
He causes a stir. Kass looks literally like her parade is being rained on. Everyone’s face is awash with concern.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: This DEMENTED ladder match, and this FARCE of an Executive Action event will STOP! Thomas Shane Elliot must NOT be allowed to run this company ANY LONGER!
A murmur falls along the crowd. Confusion creeps onto the face of those in the ring. Rodney P steps to Francis.
RODNEY P: Francis… Executive Action’s been over for two weeks. T.S. Lost. Kassandrah’s guy won. She’s the new COO.
Francis blinks. He eyes the crowd and scratches his head a moment before letting out an easygoing chuckle.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Exactly. Good job, gang. I knew you could do it.
Thumbs up. The confusion remains however.
THIRTEEN: Francis, you’ve been missing for two weeks.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Yes, I know that. It appears someone tied me up in my own office and left me for dead.
TODD REID: How did you survive?
Francis has to think about that before he sticks his tongue out to lick some icing from his beard to taste.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Oh, they delivered that cake that was shaped like my head.
RODNEY P: Why didn't the delivery people untie you...?
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: There’s nothing like eating yourself for survival, folks. Not only was it delicious. It was strangely Freudian. I love it.
RODNEY P: *To the others* Wow, he still looks great…
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: And hey! Kassandrah won! Good work, chickadee! Good call choosing Ferris Bueller to represent you.
TONY CHU: Uh, that’s Dare Clemmens. He’s my client.
Francis eyes Tony Chu blank-faced before giving another amiable chuckle.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Right! Good one!
A voice inexplicably booms over the arena loudspeakers.
MR. SMITH: Can she continue, please Francis?
Francis awkwardly steps aside, licking another lick of icing from his beard and eyes the rampway, where on the AlphaTron appears an image of the now familiar speaker image that has come to represent the disembodied Mr. Smith.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Sorry.
MR. SMITH: Right. Show them the contract, Kassandrah.
Kassandrah smiles awkwardly. Todd Reid opens the briefcase he holds without a cue and hands a contract to Kassandrah. She holds it aloft.
KASSANDRAH: I hold here in my hands the contract recently signed with my name that gives me legal control of the Alpha Wrestling Empire.
MR. SMITH: A contract that has been notarized and legalized by me.
KASSANDRAH: Yes. Along with being a controlling interest in this federation alongside Francis Ford Cuppola and Thirteen, Mr. Smith has agreed to amenable terms and I am now also the Chief Operating Officer of this company. And I have to say that over the course of the weeks and months leading up to Executive Action, I watched as innocent employees were fired without just cause, salaries remained unfixed and in need of renegotiation. I watched as one man enriched himself, while so many others were left wanting. We lost a lof of good people. People we need to get back. I have a lot of work to do, AWEphiles, fixing those mistakes, and steering this company into the future. That’s the mandate moving forward. For months the AWE roster, and those watching at home have been bogged down as power struggles mired this company in needless backstage politics. My goal is to run this company honestly, transparently, and as out of the way of what this company has proven it does better than anyone else as possible. From now on: The AWE is back in the hands of the people who were already making it great, and will continue to make it great. You the fans, and every single member of the roster!
The crowd cheers in approval! It all sure sounds like what everyone wants to hear, doesn’t it?
KASSANDRAH: And with that said, it’s time we got out of here, and made way for the true stars of the AWE. Are you guys ready for one hell of a show?!
The crowd is pumped! A raucous cheer greets her, giving Kass a warm, benevolent smile.
KASSANDRAH: Enjoy the show, folks!
It isn’t much, but it’s enough to usher the group from the ring and heading back up the ramp. Back to the announce desk.
NINA APPLEBAUM: And there you have it, AWEPhiles! Our new COO just outlined her mandate!
BRAD STOKES: Sounds like just what the doctor ordered, Nina!
NINA APPLEBAUM: It certainly did sound that way! We have so much more still to come here at Massacre Number 8, fight fans, so stay tuned! First, we’ll bring you backstage!
TAKE OFF YOUR MASK!
NO T.S., NO PEACE! KNOW T.S., KNOW PEACE!
AND NEW PARAMOUNT CHAMPION!
#THESTRUGGLEISREAL!
THE BUNNY MAN COMETH!
NO T.S., NO PEACE! KNOW T.S., KNOW PEACE!
AND NEW PARAMOUNT CHAMPION!
#THESTRUGGLEISREAL!
THE BUNNY MAN COMETH!
Overhead camera angles intermingle with panoramics and sweeping pans and tilts to showcase just how wild and excited this crowd is as the AlphaTron flashes clips of so many wrestling highlights from all the Massacre’s leading up to now. We center on the AWE Announce Desk where the ever elegant Nina Applebaum smiles, while beside her, decked out in sunglasses and a “KASSANDRAH ROOLZ” ball cap (with the brim bent obnoxiously upward), a “THE FUTURE OF AWE” black t-shirt and waving a “KASSANDRAH IS #1” Foam Finger is the ever magnanimous Brad Stokes smiling wide.
BRAD STOKES: WELCOME WELCOME! One and all!
NINA APPLEBAUM: I’m Nina Applebaum here with the ultimate band-wagon jumper, Bradley Stokes.
BRAD STOKES: I pick only winners, Nina.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Always after the fact, it seems.
BRAD STOKES: I’m selling merch just by sitting here. What are you doing?
NINA APPLEBAUM: I am introducing those watching at home to the exciting night of wrestling action we have in store! We are 2 weeks past the history-making event Executive Action, folks! Titles changed hands, feuds were settled, and new feuds started—
BRAD STOKES: AND WE GOT A NEW FREAKIN’ COO, BABY!!!
Brad waves his foam finger.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Yes. And while we leave behind all of what came before, including the truth of who Bradley was rooting for, we’re here now at Massacre number eight with a lot of momentum to build! We’ve got a lot of matches on the bill! Former Resilience Champion Zack Fantana will be in action tonight against Tommy Stone!
BRAD STOKES: Should’ve been the main event, if you ask me.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Every match tonight is main event worthy, Bradley. We’ve got “Country Fine” James Radford partnering up with the very woman he battled seemingly to the ends of the earth with 2 weeks ago for the Alpha Cup, when he and Anastasia Hayden square off against newly minted number one contender Aaron Pace, and our freshly crowned Paramount Champion!
BRAD STOKES: Easily any of those competitors could challenge for the Paramount Championship right now and it wouldn’t look out of place.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Absolutely. Signs that, under new management, there’s still an eye towards setting the talent up with the matches guaranteed to push them to shine even brighter! We will also see Dare Clemmens defend his Resilience Championship against Bradley’s favorite wrestler—
BRAD STOKES: George “The Animal” Steele!
NINA APPLEBAUM: That’s right!—No. Wait. No. I meant Dom Lawson!
BRAD STOKES: He’s not my favorite wrestler. In my world he was never born. You’re mistaken.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Well, what’s one more about face, right Bradley?
BRAD STOKES: Exactly!
NINA APPLEBAUM: We also have the new Dynamic Champions squaring off in an unorthodox threeway tag match tonight that sees Jessie Roberts and Hubert Smalls find themselves partnered up against Ketsuekigata Z and Blue Impulse, which should be interesting.
BRAD STOKES: I’ve requested two body bags be sent down to ringside as soon as the bell on that match rings. And look what we have here.
Down the ramp strolls a small entourage of people led by none other than an elegantly dressed and coiffed Kassandrah holding hands with the dapper Tony Chu. Behind them is Thirteen who smiles and waves kindly to the fans, alongside Todd Reid who brings with him a briefcase. Behind them, Rodney P, The ever mildly imposing French Mime Assassins security team duo, and the massively tall but perennially silent syrup-purveyor, Mister Mississagi.
BRAD STOKES: What is it with these amateurs and their no entrance music? How do you know what you’re getting?
NINA APPLEBAUM: You know who they are!
BRAD STOKES: From now on, generic music is the Sinister Minister’s music.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Eerie church bells?
BRAD STOKES: You know I love that shit, Nina.
The entourage enters the ring, and a microphone is passed along to Kassandrah who is clearly shy but bravely ready for this moment.
KASSANDRAH: Hello, AWE.
The crowd cheers.
KASSANDRAH: You’ve barely met me.
There’s the heckles from the crowd, but nothing deters Kassandrah as she demures a moment, you can hear the stammer in her voice. She looks at those standing in the ring with her. Thirteen gives her the fist of solidarity gesture, and Kass continues.
KASSANDRAH: I’ve never ran a wrestling company in my life. I’m, likely, the one person who shouldn’t be—
A loud shout is heard at the top of the ramp.
…: STOP THE SHOW!
All eyes are on the top of the ramp where a disheveled Francis Ford Cuppola stands. His beard smeared with blue and white cake frosting. His shirt untucked, partially unbuttoned and similarly smeared with pastry and frosting. He has a microphone and glares down to the ring as he strides slowly and purposefully down towards the disturbed gathering in between the ropes.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: THIS WILL NOT STAND!
You can hear Rodney through Kass’ microphone.
RODNEY P: Francis—
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: That’s enough, Rodney! I will not allow this FARCE to continue!
He walks up the ring steps and glares in at all of them at once, if that were possible.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: I won’t allow it! I WILL NOT! RESIST! Everyone! RESIST!
He causes a stir. Kass looks literally like her parade is being rained on. Everyone’s face is awash with concern.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: This DEMENTED ladder match, and this FARCE of an Executive Action event will STOP! Thomas Shane Elliot must NOT be allowed to run this company ANY LONGER!
A murmur falls along the crowd. Confusion creeps onto the face of those in the ring. Rodney P steps to Francis.
RODNEY P: Francis… Executive Action’s been over for two weeks. T.S. Lost. Kassandrah’s guy won. She’s the new COO.
Francis blinks. He eyes the crowd and scratches his head a moment before letting out an easygoing chuckle.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Exactly. Good job, gang. I knew you could do it.
Thumbs up. The confusion remains however.
THIRTEEN: Francis, you’ve been missing for two weeks.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Yes, I know that. It appears someone tied me up in my own office and left me for dead.
TODD REID: How did you survive?
Francis has to think about that before he sticks his tongue out to lick some icing from his beard to taste.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Oh, they delivered that cake that was shaped like my head.
RODNEY P: Why didn't the delivery people untie you...?
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: There’s nothing like eating yourself for survival, folks. Not only was it delicious. It was strangely Freudian. I love it.
RODNEY P: *To the others* Wow, he still looks great…
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: And hey! Kassandrah won! Good work, chickadee! Good call choosing Ferris Bueller to represent you.
TONY CHU: Uh, that’s Dare Clemmens. He’s my client.
Francis eyes Tony Chu blank-faced before giving another amiable chuckle.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Right! Good one!
A voice inexplicably booms over the arena loudspeakers.
MR. SMITH: Can she continue, please Francis?
Francis awkwardly steps aside, licking another lick of icing from his beard and eyes the rampway, where on the AlphaTron appears an image of the now familiar speaker image that has come to represent the disembodied Mr. Smith.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Sorry.
MR. SMITH: Right. Show them the contract, Kassandrah.
Kassandrah smiles awkwardly. Todd Reid opens the briefcase he holds without a cue and hands a contract to Kassandrah. She holds it aloft.
KASSANDRAH: I hold here in my hands the contract recently signed with my name that gives me legal control of the Alpha Wrestling Empire.
MR. SMITH: A contract that has been notarized and legalized by me.
KASSANDRAH: Yes. Along with being a controlling interest in this federation alongside Francis Ford Cuppola and Thirteen, Mr. Smith has agreed to amenable terms and I am now also the Chief Operating Officer of this company. And I have to say that over the course of the weeks and months leading up to Executive Action, I watched as innocent employees were fired without just cause, salaries remained unfixed and in need of renegotiation. I watched as one man enriched himself, while so many others were left wanting. We lost a lof of good people. People we need to get back. I have a lot of work to do, AWEphiles, fixing those mistakes, and steering this company into the future. That’s the mandate moving forward. For months the AWE roster, and those watching at home have been bogged down as power struggles mired this company in needless backstage politics. My goal is to run this company honestly, transparently, and as out of the way of what this company has proven it does better than anyone else as possible. From now on: The AWE is back in the hands of the people who were already making it great, and will continue to make it great. You the fans, and every single member of the roster!
The crowd cheers in approval! It all sure sounds like what everyone wants to hear, doesn’t it?
KASSANDRAH: And with that said, it’s time we got out of here, and made way for the true stars of the AWE. Are you guys ready for one hell of a show?!
The crowd is pumped! A raucous cheer greets her, giving Kass a warm, benevolent smile.
KASSANDRAH: Enjoy the show, folks!
It isn’t much, but it’s enough to usher the group from the ring and heading back up the ramp. Back to the announce desk.
NINA APPLEBAUM: And there you have it, AWEPhiles! Our new COO just outlined her mandate!
BRAD STOKES: Sounds like just what the doctor ordered, Nina!
NINA APPLEBAUM: It certainly did sound that way! We have so much more still to come here at Massacre Number 8, fight fans, so stay tuned! First, we’ll bring you backstage!
A swarthy gentleman with a gym bag slung over his shoulder approaches the Prairie Convention Center’s Will Call window. The staff member behind the counter eyes him suspiciously.
STAFF: Sir, you cannot bring your bag into the arena. It’s a security violation.
TORNADO DESENCADENADO: No, wait, it’s okay, I’m one of the wrestlers.
He unzips it to show the man his ring gear inside.
TORNADO DESENCADENADO: My name is Tornado Desencadenado. I was told to get my pass here.
The clerk appears unimpressed.
STAFF: I’m sorry, sir; but who told you to pick up your pass here? The performers have their own separate entrance.
TD gives a self-conscious grin, and rubs the back of his neck.
TORNADO DESENCADENADO: Yes, well, see, I’m not exactly booked for the show tonight. I just brought my boots, you know, just in case.
The confession makes the Will Call agent even more suspicious. Tornado tries to assuage his doubt.
TORNADO DESENCADENADO: ‘Card Subject to Change’, right? That’s what it says on every ticket.
After a few tense seconds the clerk relents.
STAFF: What name did you say the pass was under?
TORNADO DESENCADENADO: Tornado Desencadenado.
The man scans his clipboard. Then he checks his computer. Finally he shakes his head.
STAFF: Not on the list. I’m sorry.
Tornado’s expression turns to one of disbelief.
TORNADO DESENCADENADO: I was told there’d be a pass.
STAFF: Told by whom, sir?
The wrestler couldn’t remember.
TORNADO DESENCADENADO: It was a man. Uh, Phil Someone. Or Bill.
STAFF: There are no Phils or Bills in the Reservations Department.
TORNADO DESENCADENADO: He didn’t work for the Convention Center. He was part of AWE.
TD sets down his bag to get his cellphone from his jacket pocket. A small crowd begins to form around the scene.
STAFF: Sir, I’m afraid you’re going to have to step aside. Other customers are waiting.
After giving the people behind him an apologetic glance over his shoulder, TD turns his attention back to the clerk.
TORNADO DESENCADENADO: Let me just check and see if I saved the message.
STAFF: You do that; outside please.
The arena employee nods towards the foyer’s exit, and then gave a significant look towards a security guard who had meandered over to monitor the situation. Realizing his cause is, for the moment, lost, TD acquiesces. He snatches up his duffel bag and sheepishly retreats to the cold Springfield evening.
STAFF: Sir, you cannot bring your bag into the arena. It’s a security violation.
TORNADO DESENCADENADO: No, wait, it’s okay, I’m one of the wrestlers.
He unzips it to show the man his ring gear inside.
TORNADO DESENCADENADO: My name is Tornado Desencadenado. I was told to get my pass here.
The clerk appears unimpressed.
STAFF: I’m sorry, sir; but who told you to pick up your pass here? The performers have their own separate entrance.
TD gives a self-conscious grin, and rubs the back of his neck.
TORNADO DESENCADENADO: Yes, well, see, I’m not exactly booked for the show tonight. I just brought my boots, you know, just in case.
The confession makes the Will Call agent even more suspicious. Tornado tries to assuage his doubt.
TORNADO DESENCADENADO: ‘Card Subject to Change’, right? That’s what it says on every ticket.
After a few tense seconds the clerk relents.
STAFF: What name did you say the pass was under?
TORNADO DESENCADENADO: Tornado Desencadenado.
The man scans his clipboard. Then he checks his computer. Finally he shakes his head.
STAFF: Not on the list. I’m sorry.
Tornado’s expression turns to one of disbelief.
TORNADO DESENCADENADO: I was told there’d be a pass.
STAFF: Told by whom, sir?
The wrestler couldn’t remember.
TORNADO DESENCADENADO: It was a man. Uh, Phil Someone. Or Bill.
STAFF: There are no Phils or Bills in the Reservations Department.
TORNADO DESENCADENADO: He didn’t work for the Convention Center. He was part of AWE.
TD sets down his bag to get his cellphone from his jacket pocket. A small crowd begins to form around the scene.
STAFF: Sir, I’m afraid you’re going to have to step aside. Other customers are waiting.
After giving the people behind him an apologetic glance over his shoulder, TD turns his attention back to the clerk.
TORNADO DESENCADENADO: Let me just check and see if I saved the message.
STAFF: You do that; outside please.
The arena employee nods towards the foyer’s exit, and then gave a significant look towards a security guard who had meandered over to monitor the situation. Realizing his cause is, for the moment, lost, TD acquiesces. He snatches up his duffel bag and sheepishly retreats to the cold Springfield evening.
Zack Fantana VS. Tommy Stone
NINA APPLEBAUM: And we’re back!
BRAD STOKES: Somebody’s gon’ die!
BRAD STOKES: Somebody’s gon’ die!
DING! DING! DING!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Standing in the ring, now circling one another, fans are Tommy Stone and Zack Fantana. Neither man a stranger to one another, although it’s been sometime since they’ve been in the same ring together.
BRAD STOKES: And that just so happened to be on the same side as each other, if I heard right.
Fantana and Stone dance around one another, feinting several strikes at one another. One strike is caught in the hand and quickly slipped free by Tommy Stone, then he sends a jab that Fantana dodges easily.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Almost like they’re sparring.
BRAD STOKES: Testing the other’s defence!
They move in for a lock-up, but it’s a feint from Fantana to lure Stone off-balance and aim a rising knee for Stone’s chin, but Tommy rapidly reverses course, nearly folding over entirely backwards to avoid Fantana’s knee! Fantana is quick to smash a forearm down into Stone’s midsection which forces Tommy down to the canvas only to quickly kip up and surprise Fantana with a Russian leg sweep!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Tommy Stone with some quick calculation there and he goes for a sudden cover attempt!
ON---
BRAD STOKES: Not even close there! He’s going to need to do better than that to get one over on Zack Fantana, or my name is Kassandrah’s Biggest Fan.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Quit kissing ass.
BRAD STOKES: Gotta start early, Nina. You heard her. She’s hinting at righting wrongs, I interpret that as a redistribution of wealth! And I’m planning on being somewhere in that line after Dom Lawson screwed me.
Tommy Stone is fast to his feet, but Fantana is too and he delivers a side elbow that staggers Tommy backwards before launching at him with a burst of speed and SLAMS Tommy Stone down with a tornado DDT!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Fantana with the cover!
ON—
NINA APPLEBAUM: Kickout there!
Fantana attempts to drag Stone up to his feet, but is greeted with a surprise upward palm strike that staggers Zack and Tommy is quick to heave Zack onto his shoulders into a fireman’s carry and WHAM slams him down with a beautiful cutter!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Tommy Stone quickly asserting himself against Zack Fantana!
BRAD STOKES: These two are supposed to be something special. We’ve seen Zack Fantana enough to know what he’s pretty well about, his credentials are proven. Tommy Stone’s a superstar who’s been away from the business for some time. He may have proven a lot in the past, but the AWE’s a new company, and he’s gotta show where he stands.
Tommy Stone slams well-timed punches down into Fantana’s face before dragging him to his feet, giving him a stiff elbow to back him into the ropes and send him charging the ring boards to rebound off the ropes, and on the return he stuns Tommy Stone with wicked looking enziguri kick!
NINA APPLEBAUM: And now Fantana is energized!
Fantana is fast to his feet and leaping onto the ropes for a springboard into a moonsault but Tommy is out of the way!
BRAD STOKES: Nothing but ring! Tommy Stone had that one scouted rather nicely!
Fantana clutches his midsection as Tommy Stone rises to a knee, grips Fantana by the hair and forces him to his feet and promptly delivers him right back to the canvas with a DDT!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Another cover by Tommy Stone!
1….
TW—
NINA APPLEBAUM: Forceful kickout by Zack Fantana! He did not want to lose like that!
Tommy grips Fantana once more and drags him to his feet locked in a headlock! Tommy torques the lock before rushing for the corner, hoists up for a slingshot off the corner to really heighten the impact of the bulldog but instead finds Fantana slamming him backwards with a sudden back body drop!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Nicely done by Zack Fantana! And he goes for the co—No. Nevermind. Looks like Zack has something else in mind.
Zack had the leg hooked but swiftly lifted off Stone just before Theo Refano come begin the count. Zack eyes Refano curmudgeonly before gripping Tommy by the neck and dragging him to his feet.
BRAD STOKES: He’s so sneaky, that Fantana man! If I weren’t such a huge Dare Clemmens fan right now…
NINA APPLEBAUM: Well, maybe Fantana will win his belt back and you pull out your Fantanasy Merchandise.
BRAD STOKES: I’m an equal opportunist, Nina.
Fantana shoots some elbows into Tommy’s midsection to straighten him up and then Zack whips into a jumping corkscrew roundhouse kick!
NINA APPLEBAUM: THE REVERIE—NO!!!
Tommy Stone avoids the kick expertly and Fantana catches nothing but air. When he lands, Tommy’s planted his feet and slammed a side kick into Fantana’s upper torso and rocked the former Resilience Champion backward several steps!
BRAD STOKES: Stone’s got an opening!
With some space to maneuver, Stone rushes Fantana and aims a single leg drop kick for Fantana but it’s Zack’s turn to narrowly dodge the move, letting Tommy move a few steps too far past Fantana and he is quick to backflip at a rapidly turning Tommy Stone to SMASH him with a pele kick!
NINA APPLEBAUM: THE SLEEPWALKER!
Tommy Stone is down, the crowd is roaring on it’s feet as Fantana rises up and looks poised to end Tommy. And suddenly the lights in the arena suddenly darken.
NINA APPLEBAUM: What’s going on?
BRAD STOKES: What are you, new? This is the ominous sign that something unexpected is about to happen. That or Kassandrah’s restructuring doesn’t include the power bill.
The lights flicker back on and reveal the familiar masked man is standing in the ring.
NINA APPLEBAUM: OH NO!
BRAD STOKES: HIM AGAIN?
Zack turns to face him, hesitant in that moment and giving the masked man a chance to strike him with a hard forearm shot. The two brawl, but the masked man is overpowered and pushed into the corner, with both Zack and Tommy kicking him down.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Well that went well for this mysterious man...
BRAD STOKES: Who’s beneath the mask?!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Whoever he is, he just got this match thrown out!
Zack and Tommy look at each other, then both nod. Tommy crouches down, pulling the mask from the man’s face and revealing a youngish, blonde guy to be beneath the costume.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Who the hell is that guy?
BRAD STOKES: Clearly the guy who’s been assaulting everyone. I say we riot!!!
As the confused Tommy and Zack wonder about who this young man is, two more (similarly masked) men jump over the guardrails, one on either side of the ring.
As the ring official has the bell rung repeatedly, These two other masked men slide in, attacking the Tommy and Zack from behind. Tommy manages to fend off his attacker, tossing him to the outside, and Zack fights back, finally unleashing his Lucid Dreams move to take down the other.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Look at Tommy and Zack take down these masked guys!
BRAD STOKES: Yeah, but how many are there?! There’s practically an army of them!
The pair stand, looking around, and four more masked men rush down the entry way and enter the ring. The far more capable pair of Tommy and Zack fight back initially, but when another four men rush into the ring from behind the commentary position, the numbers game catches up to them. The eight on two assault continues until both Stone and Fantana are seemingly down and out.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Someone call security! This needs to be stopped!
BRAD STOKES: And that just so happened to be on the same side as each other, if I heard right.
Fantana and Stone dance around one another, feinting several strikes at one another. One strike is caught in the hand and quickly slipped free by Tommy Stone, then he sends a jab that Fantana dodges easily.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Almost like they’re sparring.
BRAD STOKES: Testing the other’s defence!
They move in for a lock-up, but it’s a feint from Fantana to lure Stone off-balance and aim a rising knee for Stone’s chin, but Tommy rapidly reverses course, nearly folding over entirely backwards to avoid Fantana’s knee! Fantana is quick to smash a forearm down into Stone’s midsection which forces Tommy down to the canvas only to quickly kip up and surprise Fantana with a Russian leg sweep!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Tommy Stone with some quick calculation there and he goes for a sudden cover attempt!
ON---
BRAD STOKES: Not even close there! He’s going to need to do better than that to get one over on Zack Fantana, or my name is Kassandrah’s Biggest Fan.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Quit kissing ass.
BRAD STOKES: Gotta start early, Nina. You heard her. She’s hinting at righting wrongs, I interpret that as a redistribution of wealth! And I’m planning on being somewhere in that line after Dom Lawson screwed me.
Tommy Stone is fast to his feet, but Fantana is too and he delivers a side elbow that staggers Tommy backwards before launching at him with a burst of speed and SLAMS Tommy Stone down with a tornado DDT!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Fantana with the cover!
ON—
NINA APPLEBAUM: Kickout there!
Fantana attempts to drag Stone up to his feet, but is greeted with a surprise upward palm strike that staggers Zack and Tommy is quick to heave Zack onto his shoulders into a fireman’s carry and WHAM slams him down with a beautiful cutter!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Tommy Stone quickly asserting himself against Zack Fantana!
BRAD STOKES: These two are supposed to be something special. We’ve seen Zack Fantana enough to know what he’s pretty well about, his credentials are proven. Tommy Stone’s a superstar who’s been away from the business for some time. He may have proven a lot in the past, but the AWE’s a new company, and he’s gotta show where he stands.
Tommy Stone slams well-timed punches down into Fantana’s face before dragging him to his feet, giving him a stiff elbow to back him into the ropes and send him charging the ring boards to rebound off the ropes, and on the return he stuns Tommy Stone with wicked looking enziguri kick!
NINA APPLEBAUM: And now Fantana is energized!
Fantana is fast to his feet and leaping onto the ropes for a springboard into a moonsault but Tommy is out of the way!
BRAD STOKES: Nothing but ring! Tommy Stone had that one scouted rather nicely!
Fantana clutches his midsection as Tommy Stone rises to a knee, grips Fantana by the hair and forces him to his feet and promptly delivers him right back to the canvas with a DDT!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Another cover by Tommy Stone!
1….
TW—
NINA APPLEBAUM: Forceful kickout by Zack Fantana! He did not want to lose like that!
Tommy grips Fantana once more and drags him to his feet locked in a headlock! Tommy torques the lock before rushing for the corner, hoists up for a slingshot off the corner to really heighten the impact of the bulldog but instead finds Fantana slamming him backwards with a sudden back body drop!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Nicely done by Zack Fantana! And he goes for the co—No. Nevermind. Looks like Zack has something else in mind.
Zack had the leg hooked but swiftly lifted off Stone just before Theo Refano come begin the count. Zack eyes Refano curmudgeonly before gripping Tommy by the neck and dragging him to his feet.
BRAD STOKES: He’s so sneaky, that Fantana man! If I weren’t such a huge Dare Clemmens fan right now…
NINA APPLEBAUM: Well, maybe Fantana will win his belt back and you pull out your Fantanasy Merchandise.
BRAD STOKES: I’m an equal opportunist, Nina.
Fantana shoots some elbows into Tommy’s midsection to straighten him up and then Zack whips into a jumping corkscrew roundhouse kick!
NINA APPLEBAUM: THE REVERIE—NO!!!
Tommy Stone avoids the kick expertly and Fantana catches nothing but air. When he lands, Tommy’s planted his feet and slammed a side kick into Fantana’s upper torso and rocked the former Resilience Champion backward several steps!
BRAD STOKES: Stone’s got an opening!
With some space to maneuver, Stone rushes Fantana and aims a single leg drop kick for Fantana but it’s Zack’s turn to narrowly dodge the move, letting Tommy move a few steps too far past Fantana and he is quick to backflip at a rapidly turning Tommy Stone to SMASH him with a pele kick!
NINA APPLEBAUM: THE SLEEPWALKER!
Tommy Stone is down, the crowd is roaring on it’s feet as Fantana rises up and looks poised to end Tommy. And suddenly the lights in the arena suddenly darken.
NINA APPLEBAUM: What’s going on?
BRAD STOKES: What are you, new? This is the ominous sign that something unexpected is about to happen. That or Kassandrah’s restructuring doesn’t include the power bill.
The lights flicker back on and reveal the familiar masked man is standing in the ring.
NINA APPLEBAUM: OH NO!
BRAD STOKES: HIM AGAIN?
Zack turns to face him, hesitant in that moment and giving the masked man a chance to strike him with a hard forearm shot. The two brawl, but the masked man is overpowered and pushed into the corner, with both Zack and Tommy kicking him down.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Well that went well for this mysterious man...
BRAD STOKES: Who’s beneath the mask?!
DING! DING! DING! DING! DING!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Whoever he is, he just got this match thrown out!
Zack and Tommy look at each other, then both nod. Tommy crouches down, pulling the mask from the man’s face and revealing a youngish, blonde guy to be beneath the costume.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Who the hell is that guy?
BRAD STOKES: Clearly the guy who’s been assaulting everyone. I say we riot!!!
As the confused Tommy and Zack wonder about who this young man is, two more (similarly masked) men jump over the guardrails, one on either side of the ring.
DING! DING! DING! DING! DING! DING! DING!
As the ring official has the bell rung repeatedly, These two other masked men slide in, attacking the Tommy and Zack from behind. Tommy manages to fend off his attacker, tossing him to the outside, and Zack fights back, finally unleashing his Lucid Dreams move to take down the other.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Look at Tommy and Zack take down these masked guys!
BRAD STOKES: Yeah, but how many are there?! There’s practically an army of them!
The pair stand, looking around, and four more masked men rush down the entry way and enter the ring. The far more capable pair of Tommy and Zack fight back initially, but when another four men rush into the ring from behind the commentary position, the numbers game catches up to them. The eight on two assault continues until both Stone and Fantana are seemingly down and out.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Someone call security! This needs to be stopped!
BRAD STOKES: The numbers have caught up to Tommy and Zack now. Eight on two is too much, even for them. I could do it, mind you.
The arena darkens again and this time Metallica’s “Here Comes Revenge” plays. A lone masked figure, far larger and broader than the rest, strides down the entrance ramp.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Could this be the real masked man?
BRAD STOKES: If it’s not, the real guy must be some kind of monster cause this dude's kind of intimidating.
In the ring, four men hold Tommy and Zack respectively. The new arrival walks up the ring steps, entering into the squared circle.
The men working Tommy over lift him from the mat and the new arrival grabs him by the neck, delivering a thunderous chokeslam. Similarly, the men attacking Zack stand him up, and he too suffers a package piledriver, driving him head first down to the mat.
Taking a microphone in hand, the man kneels beside Tommy and Zack, first lifting Tommy to face him.
MASKED MAN: And I know...oh, I know that you, all of you, want to know exactly who I am.
BRAD STOKES: I’m at least mildly curious, yes.
NINA APPLEBAUM: I’m sure many are. This is the guy who T.S. had doing much of his dirty work to keep him in power, after all.
Releasing Tommy, he then takes Zack by the hair.
MASKED MAN: I am the destroyer.
He leans into Zack’s face, real close, mask to nose.
MASKED MAN: I am Akragth.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Oh my!
Zack’s eyes widen as realization sets in. Releasing his hair, Akragth stands upright again.
AKRAGTH: And I am here, in the Alpha Wrestling Empire…my new home.
With that, he drops the microphone. Both he and his goons move to exit the ring as his music plays again, leaving the battered Tommy and Zack to take in the news of the return of this familiar foe.
BRAD STOKES: Hey, Nina?
Metallica’s rocking music has the crowd electrified as Zack and Tommy work to recover in the ring.
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: Ladies and Gentleman, this match has been decided as a NO-CONTEST!
The crowd boos and cheers, as Fantana and Stone eye one another wearily, rising slowly to their feet preparing to leave ringside.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Yes, Bradley?
BRAD STOKES: What's an Akragth?
NINA APPLEBAUM: I may have an idea. I'm pretty certain Fantana and Stone do, but for those watching at home, like yourself, well you'll have to find out, won’t you?
BRAD STOKES: Surprise ending to this match. No winner and some sort of Ak-rag-th, thing. Sweet. What’s next?
NINA APPLEBAUM: There’s something going backstage, Bradley. Let’s check it out!
It was a big night for one of AWE’s newly crowned champions, without a doubt, but if Dare Clemmens was sweating it then he was doing one hell of a job keeping that all under wraps. From an outsider’s viewpoint the young man looked as cool as the proverbial cucumber you might say. Standing backstage he was giving himself a once over in a tall mirror that had been propped up against the wall, and then another just for good measure. Maybe a third wouldn’t hurt either.
While the new Resilience Champion smoothed down a few errant strands from his eyebrows behind his sunglasses, it was the perfect chance for someone to approach him in a stealthy manner. A light tapping of a manicured finger against the young man’s shoulder caused him to turn to his side where Bindy was standing. She folded one of her arms behind her back, and waved at him with the other.
BINDY TRENT: Hey there champ. Lookin’ good.
DARE CLEMMENS: Likewise.
Her eyes couldn’t help but wander over to championship belt on his shoulder. There was a slight look of longing, but it quickly gave way to a large smile from the woman. Somehow she was one of those rare types that was able to actually feel happiness for other people and Dare was someone she was happy to have seen succeed.
DARE CLEMMENS: So … do you want to touch it?
Her eyes widened, shocked, but her head tilted in curiosity as well. He laughed, rapping his knuckles against the faceplate of the Resilience title.
DARE CLEMMENS: The belt I mean.
BINDY TRENT: Oh, yeah! Haha, I totally knew that. Maybe another time. I really just wanted to apologize for uh, sort of trying to kill you I suppose at the end of the ladder match? I don’t know, I was watching the replay for like, the millionth time the other night and I just feel bad for shaking the ladder like I did. I was really desperate and that’s not a good look for me.
Dare’s shoulders hiked, and his mouth pinched up in a series of actions that indicated he was trying to brush off her apology and attempt to make good here.
DARE CLEMMENS: If you didn’t try to kill me, I wouldn’t think you cared. Water under the bridge, B.B.B.
There’s a moment of silence where Dare wonders if he should have gone with ‘Triple B’ as opposed to ‘B.B.B.’ but he lets it go.
BINDY TRENT: I’m glad you can feel that way. If it’s any consolation, your abs looked great pulling yourself up to get the belt. So … I guess it kind of all worked out for the best.
DARE CLEMMENS: You mean it? I did some extra crunches that week, I was hoping they’d pay off.
Dare knew the Zimas had been hard on his physique. He instinctively flexed.
BINDY TRENT: Oh totally, I could tell even from down on the mat. I was like, ‘Damn, Dare’s really been hitting the six pack and the obliques!’ They’re gonna look really great next to your title. You’ve earned it man, don’t let anyone try and get in your head and tell you otherwise. I’d wish you good luck against Dominic Lawson tonight, but I know you won’t need it.
DARE CLEMMENS: I appreciate it. He’d only have one over me if it were an F-Bomb contest, really. Luck to you as well.
Bindy extended her hand, and Dare met it, the two exchanging a solid fist bump to put the final punctuation point on their small conversation of well wishing and what not. It was best she decided to let the man return to making sure he was looking his absolute most dapper before his big night in front of the fans. Whistling a little bluegrass tune she had stuck in her head for several days now, B3 moved back down the hallways, perhaps ready to return to the locker room and get started stretching for her match.
That was going to have to hold for another few minutes, because a particular site near catering caught her attention. Abcde, the unfortunately named young wrestler Aaron Pace had made into his lackey was pushing chairs, equipment boxes, and anything else that wasn’t nailed down back against the walls, clearing out a large area of space. He stopped, looked around and then pulled a tape measure and a roll of white tape out of his back pocket. Dropping to his knees Abcd measured out a set distance on the floor and then began taping out two large white lines. She had to ask.
BINDY TRENT: Dude, what are you doing?
ABCDE: Oh! Hi Bindy! I’m marking a spot.
BINDY TRENT: A spot for what exactly?
On queue there came quite the commotion down the hall. The beeping of a tiny horn, some shouting, surprised gasps, and the ear piercing shrill of a whistle being blown repeatedly. Of course Abcde wouldn’t be doing something ridiculous if it wasn’t because his boss, mentor, whatever, Aaron had instructed him.
AARON PACE: Future Paramount Champion incoming! Watch your feet people!
Aaron was riding in on his segway, though since the last time it had been seen it had been a little more decked out and spiffed up. Across the front was now a large logo that read PACECAR, written in a font that looked suspiciously close to the same one NASCAR used. Other than that were some stickers from ‘sponsors’ Aaron had gathered, such as ‘Gears of War’, ‘Pokemon’, ‘Pewdiepie’, a sticker of a cat’s face that had nothing to do with anything, whistles, a cartoon dolphin wearing a sweater, and many other logos that likely meant nothing. He rode in circles around Bindy while blowing his whistle loudly, before hearing her try to speak.
BINDY TRENT: Hey..
AARON PACE: Please don’t talk to me until I’ve parked, I’m operating a motor vehicle.
BINDY TRENT: Aaron..
AARON PACE: There’s rules of the road, Bindy. People could die if I lose control of this thing, people could die!!!
He began backing up awkwardly, trying to park between a trash can and an open door where Abcde had put down lines. Though he was clearly having an awkward time, and let out several frustrated blows on his whistle while getting the Pacecar situated in its spot.
AARON PACE: Parallel parking is the worst.
He uttered as he finally backed it in and stepped off the machine. He looked to her and dusted himself off.
AARON PACE: Oh hey what’s up?
BINDY TRENT: Uhh… notice you’ve jazzed up the segway.
AARON PACE: Pacecar Bindy, it’s the Pacecar. You like it? Maybe one day if I’m feeling charitable I’ll get you one. We can call it the Mercedes Bindz.
He held held his hands up in the air, spreading them out, beckoning Bindy to imagine that grand of a title floating in the air in front of them. She shook her head and sighed, trying to not let herself be at least somewhat amused by the antics she was witness to here.
AARON PACE: Do you even drive? You seem like the sort of hippie type to ride a bike everywhere. I can’t be supplying motor vehicles to unlicensed individuals. Maybe we can just get you a bell for your bike.
BINDY TRENT: Wow, you’re actually taking this ‘being nice’ thing pretty seriously.
AARON PACE: I’m the best at being nice. Anyway, Benny Stevens huh? How are you going to handle that? He’s got more Benny and more Stevens in him than anyone I’ve ever seen.
Obviously he’d paid a lot of attention to Stevens, or perhaps he just didn’t care, one or the other. That was actually supposed to be a compliment, though!
BINDY TRENT: I don’t know, just going to go out and give it my best. Caroline horribly disfiguring you really made you turn a new page. I’m all about personal growth, dude. Good on ya.
AARON PACE: That is an absolute fallacy, I’m perfectly fine, I’m not disfigured at all.
BINDY TRENT: Oh I mean yeah, you’re healing up nicely and all but ... You know, looks aren’t everything. I always say it’s the personality that makes the man.
Was Bindy Trent actually giving him a hard time? I mean, she was trying to keep a straight face, but it seemed as though her mouth was doing its best to hold back a big ol’ grin.
AARON PACE: Hey, no use being mean… friend.. Here I am trying to be all nice and you’re over there being Bully Bindy or something.
BINDY TRENT: Not at all, I’m actually very proud of what you’re doing. You took a big long look in the mirror and you saw a guy who was kind of well … a big jerk, without a lot of friends, and you said, “No more!” It takes a lot of chutzpah to acknowledge one’s own very large and ugly flaws.
AARON PACE: Now that’s enough you tiny little… I’m trying to be nice, but don’t take that as weakness. You’re going to let me be ‘good’, the whole world is going to let me, even if I have to punch this entire planet in its fucking face. I’M A DECENT GOD DAMN HUMAN BEING DO YOU UNDERSTAND?! Do you? You’d better, and do you know why you understand? DO YOU BINDY?!
He had blown up a bit, walking towards his segway. Bindy pressed her lips together hard, they were the last defense against her giggling like a schoolgirl. Though it’d been her intention to get under his skin she didn’t think it would happen so quick. Still, the results had been marvelous.
BINDY TRENT: You’re a decent human being, clearly! I understand!
Okay, now she was giggling, even a little snort came out of her nose and she clasped her hands over her face.
BINDY TRENT: You should watch that vein in your forehead, might rupture and blow apart your still healing face.
AARON PACE: Clearly you don’t get it, so let me make this clear. As I said, I will beat up the fucking planet if nobody accepts it.. Because it’s my way, or..
He hopped on his segway and began pulling it back and forth, trying to get it out of its ‘parking space’ so to speak. This was taking an unusually long time. Bindy was still tittering away behind her hands.
BINDY TRENT: It’s your way or what?
AARON PACE: I am operating heavy machinery, shh.
He backed up slowly and turned it towards her swiftly, moving in uncomfortably close.
AARON PACE: My way, or the segway!!
Then he zoomed off down the hall, blowing his whistle loudly as he mowed through groups of various people. Abcde who’d quietly watched the whole situation from afar smiled at Bindy, then ran off after Aaron. It had been quite the encounter for her, and she was left just shaking her head, as well as still trying to shake off the last of her giggles.
While the new Resilience Champion smoothed down a few errant strands from his eyebrows behind his sunglasses, it was the perfect chance for someone to approach him in a stealthy manner. A light tapping of a manicured finger against the young man’s shoulder caused him to turn to his side where Bindy was standing. She folded one of her arms behind her back, and waved at him with the other.
BINDY TRENT: Hey there champ. Lookin’ good.
DARE CLEMMENS: Likewise.
Her eyes couldn’t help but wander over to championship belt on his shoulder. There was a slight look of longing, but it quickly gave way to a large smile from the woman. Somehow she was one of those rare types that was able to actually feel happiness for other people and Dare was someone she was happy to have seen succeed.
DARE CLEMMENS: So … do you want to touch it?
Her eyes widened, shocked, but her head tilted in curiosity as well. He laughed, rapping his knuckles against the faceplate of the Resilience title.
DARE CLEMMENS: The belt I mean.
BINDY TRENT: Oh, yeah! Haha, I totally knew that. Maybe another time. I really just wanted to apologize for uh, sort of trying to kill you I suppose at the end of the ladder match? I don’t know, I was watching the replay for like, the millionth time the other night and I just feel bad for shaking the ladder like I did. I was really desperate and that’s not a good look for me.
Dare’s shoulders hiked, and his mouth pinched up in a series of actions that indicated he was trying to brush off her apology and attempt to make good here.
DARE CLEMMENS: If you didn’t try to kill me, I wouldn’t think you cared. Water under the bridge, B.B.B.
There’s a moment of silence where Dare wonders if he should have gone with ‘Triple B’ as opposed to ‘B.B.B.’ but he lets it go.
BINDY TRENT: I’m glad you can feel that way. If it’s any consolation, your abs looked great pulling yourself up to get the belt. So … I guess it kind of all worked out for the best.
DARE CLEMMENS: You mean it? I did some extra crunches that week, I was hoping they’d pay off.
Dare knew the Zimas had been hard on his physique. He instinctively flexed.
BINDY TRENT: Oh totally, I could tell even from down on the mat. I was like, ‘Damn, Dare’s really been hitting the six pack and the obliques!’ They’re gonna look really great next to your title. You’ve earned it man, don’t let anyone try and get in your head and tell you otherwise. I’d wish you good luck against Dominic Lawson tonight, but I know you won’t need it.
DARE CLEMMENS: I appreciate it. He’d only have one over me if it were an F-Bomb contest, really. Luck to you as well.
Bindy extended her hand, and Dare met it, the two exchanging a solid fist bump to put the final punctuation point on their small conversation of well wishing and what not. It was best she decided to let the man return to making sure he was looking his absolute most dapper before his big night in front of the fans. Whistling a little bluegrass tune she had stuck in her head for several days now, B3 moved back down the hallways, perhaps ready to return to the locker room and get started stretching for her match.
That was going to have to hold for another few minutes, because a particular site near catering caught her attention. Abcde, the unfortunately named young wrestler Aaron Pace had made into his lackey was pushing chairs, equipment boxes, and anything else that wasn’t nailed down back against the walls, clearing out a large area of space. He stopped, looked around and then pulled a tape measure and a roll of white tape out of his back pocket. Dropping to his knees Abcd measured out a set distance on the floor and then began taping out two large white lines. She had to ask.
BINDY TRENT: Dude, what are you doing?
ABCDE: Oh! Hi Bindy! I’m marking a spot.
BINDY TRENT: A spot for what exactly?
On queue there came quite the commotion down the hall. The beeping of a tiny horn, some shouting, surprised gasps, and the ear piercing shrill of a whistle being blown repeatedly. Of course Abcde wouldn’t be doing something ridiculous if it wasn’t because his boss, mentor, whatever, Aaron had instructed him.
AARON PACE: Future Paramount Champion incoming! Watch your feet people!
Aaron was riding in on his segway, though since the last time it had been seen it had been a little more decked out and spiffed up. Across the front was now a large logo that read PACECAR, written in a font that looked suspiciously close to the same one NASCAR used. Other than that were some stickers from ‘sponsors’ Aaron had gathered, such as ‘Gears of War’, ‘Pokemon’, ‘Pewdiepie’, a sticker of a cat’s face that had nothing to do with anything, whistles, a cartoon dolphin wearing a sweater, and many other logos that likely meant nothing. He rode in circles around Bindy while blowing his whistle loudly, before hearing her try to speak.
BINDY TRENT: Hey..
AARON PACE: Please don’t talk to me until I’ve parked, I’m operating a motor vehicle.
BINDY TRENT: Aaron..
AARON PACE: There’s rules of the road, Bindy. People could die if I lose control of this thing, people could die!!!
He began backing up awkwardly, trying to park between a trash can and an open door where Abcde had put down lines. Though he was clearly having an awkward time, and let out several frustrated blows on his whistle while getting the Pacecar situated in its spot.
AARON PACE: Parallel parking is the worst.
He uttered as he finally backed it in and stepped off the machine. He looked to her and dusted himself off.
AARON PACE: Oh hey what’s up?
BINDY TRENT: Uhh… notice you’ve jazzed up the segway.
AARON PACE: Pacecar Bindy, it’s the Pacecar. You like it? Maybe one day if I’m feeling charitable I’ll get you one. We can call it the Mercedes Bindz.
He held held his hands up in the air, spreading them out, beckoning Bindy to imagine that grand of a title floating in the air in front of them. She shook her head and sighed, trying to not let herself be at least somewhat amused by the antics she was witness to here.
AARON PACE: Do you even drive? You seem like the sort of hippie type to ride a bike everywhere. I can’t be supplying motor vehicles to unlicensed individuals. Maybe we can just get you a bell for your bike.
BINDY TRENT: Wow, you’re actually taking this ‘being nice’ thing pretty seriously.
AARON PACE: I’m the best at being nice. Anyway, Benny Stevens huh? How are you going to handle that? He’s got more Benny and more Stevens in him than anyone I’ve ever seen.
Obviously he’d paid a lot of attention to Stevens, or perhaps he just didn’t care, one or the other. That was actually supposed to be a compliment, though!
BINDY TRENT: I don’t know, just going to go out and give it my best. Caroline horribly disfiguring you really made you turn a new page. I’m all about personal growth, dude. Good on ya.
AARON PACE: That is an absolute fallacy, I’m perfectly fine, I’m not disfigured at all.
BINDY TRENT: Oh I mean yeah, you’re healing up nicely and all but ... You know, looks aren’t everything. I always say it’s the personality that makes the man.
Was Bindy Trent actually giving him a hard time? I mean, she was trying to keep a straight face, but it seemed as though her mouth was doing its best to hold back a big ol’ grin.
AARON PACE: Hey, no use being mean… friend.. Here I am trying to be all nice and you’re over there being Bully Bindy or something.
BINDY TRENT: Not at all, I’m actually very proud of what you’re doing. You took a big long look in the mirror and you saw a guy who was kind of well … a big jerk, without a lot of friends, and you said, “No more!” It takes a lot of chutzpah to acknowledge one’s own very large and ugly flaws.
AARON PACE: Now that’s enough you tiny little… I’m trying to be nice, but don’t take that as weakness. You’re going to let me be ‘good’, the whole world is going to let me, even if I have to punch this entire planet in its fucking face. I’M A DECENT GOD DAMN HUMAN BEING DO YOU UNDERSTAND?! Do you? You’d better, and do you know why you understand? DO YOU BINDY?!
He had blown up a bit, walking towards his segway. Bindy pressed her lips together hard, they were the last defense against her giggling like a schoolgirl. Though it’d been her intention to get under his skin she didn’t think it would happen so quick. Still, the results had been marvelous.
BINDY TRENT: You’re a decent human being, clearly! I understand!
Okay, now she was giggling, even a little snort came out of her nose and she clasped her hands over her face.
BINDY TRENT: You should watch that vein in your forehead, might rupture and blow apart your still healing face.
AARON PACE: Clearly you don’t get it, so let me make this clear. As I said, I will beat up the fucking planet if nobody accepts it.. Because it’s my way, or..
He hopped on his segway and began pulling it back and forth, trying to get it out of its ‘parking space’ so to speak. This was taking an unusually long time. Bindy was still tittering away behind her hands.
BINDY TRENT: It’s your way or what?
AARON PACE: I am operating heavy machinery, shh.
He backed up slowly and turned it towards her swiftly, moving in uncomfortably close.
AARON PACE: My way, or the segway!!
Then he zoomed off down the hall, blowing his whistle loudly as he mowed through groups of various people. Abcde who’d quietly watched the whole situation from afar smiled at Bindy, then ran off after Aaron. It had been quite the encounter for her, and she was left just shaking her head, as well as still trying to shake off the last of her giggles.
Austin Gale VS. Christian Jones
BRAD STOKES: The thing that really bothers me, Nina, is that with Bindy caught in this love triangle with Dare Clemmens and Aaron Pace, there’s no room for the Bradster.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Awwwwww. I feel so bad for you.
BRAD STOKES: I sense your sincerity, Nina. Thank you for feeling my pain. You’ll die the quickest when I am king.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Austin Gale is holding his own against the far larger Christian Jones!
A surprising headbutt right out of the gate knocks Jones back enough for Gale to gain control, following up with a snap suplex. Christian’s back on his feet in a hurry only to get knocked back by a clothesline from Austin, but there wasn’t enough strength behind it to put Jones down. That doesn’t stop Austin from attempting another snap suplex, but Christian powers out of it.
BRAD STOKES: Jones is like a tank, and Austin Gale is like… a lowly little reconnaissance vehicle. This is embarrassing!
Jones reverses the suplex attempt and hits one of his own. As Austin attempts to get up, Christian’s quick to head over and plant him back down onto the ring mat with a DDT. Things are back in Christian’s control as he goes to pick up Austin and tosses him into the corner.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Christian Jones fared awfully well against Tommy Stone at Executive Action, and he’s no slouch, and here against Austin Gale the story seems to be much the same!
BRAD STOKES: I taught Christian Jeffries all that he knows, Nina.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Christian Jones, you mean.
BRAD STOKES: Who the hell is Christian Jones?
NINA APPLEBAUM: The guy in the ring.
BRAD STOKES: Huh. Yeah. He’s who I meant. Taught him everything he knows.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Riiiight.
Backed in the corner, Gale’s the recipient of some stiff chops across the chest, each one sucking the air out of the arena. A big elbow connecting straight down onto Austin’s head drops him to the mat and allows for Christian to pull him away from the ropes.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Christian Jones hooks the leg for the cover!
1…
TW—
NINA APPLEBAUM: Kickout at two!
There’s an arrogant smirk on Christian’s face, knowing he wouldn’t be able to put the match away so quick. The crowd’s behind him, but the tides shift thanks to a kick to Christian’s leg from Austin that causes them to boo. Gale follows it up with a European uppercut that causes Jones to stumble back and a follow up dropkick puts the larger opponent on the mat. Bouncing off the ropes, Austin hits a running senton bomb that keeps Christian down.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Nice array of offense on display here by Austin Gale as he gets some momentum behind him!
Keeping the action rolling, Gale gets into a ground and pound position, dropping punch after punch onto the defending Christian Jones. Theo Refano has to step in and threaten a disqualification before Austin let go, getting away with a cheap stomp to the face in the process. Gale picks up his opponent from behind and gets Jones in a waist lock. A few back elbows from Christian isn’t enough to break Austin’s hold as he manages to lift up his opponent for a German suplex.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Gale uses his strength to roll over Jones as he goes for the pin attempt!
1…
TW--
BRAD STOKES: Another early kick out!
Austin rises up. Following some stomps to his opponent, Gale starts taunting Jones to get back up. For the second time, Theo Refano has to pull Austin away and gives Christian enough time to get up to his feet.
BRAD STOKES: Theo Refano’s new glasses are looking spectacular, wouldn’t you say, Nina?
NINA APPLEBAUM: Most definitely.
BRAD STOKES: It’s difficult to use my carefully crafted comedic material when you agree, Nina. Even worse when no one spots my puns.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Such a shame!
Once the referee gets out of his way, Gale is on the offensive with an attempted Superman punch, but Jones gets out of the way. As soon as Austin turns around, he eats a huge Chin Chilla’!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Capitalizing on the big boot, Christian tries for a pin!
1…
2…
THR—
NINA APPLEBAUM: Kickout! And a look of frustration is on Christian’s face and he takes it out on Austin Gale.
A big standing elbow drop does some damage to the smaller Gale. Jones lifts his opponent up and hits him with a hard elbow strike to the side of the head. A dazed Austin gets sent off the ropes and on the rebound, Christian lifts him up in one motion into a military press before slamming him down onto the canvas. Looking for another quick pin attempt, Jones goes after Gale.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Austin surprises Jones with a roll up!
1…
2…
TH—
Christian is back on his feet and trying to recover, but his efforts only see him eat a Howler!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Huge spear by Austin Gale!
The spear puts the big man down and Austin goes for another pin
1…
2…
THRE—
BRAD STOKES: Kickout at three and a third!
Austin can’t believe it! And he’s furious, arguing with Theo Refano about the count. While all of this is going down, it’s just allowing for Christian Jones to prop himself up in the ring corner and collect himself.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Austin Gale may not like the officiating, but it’s taking his focus off the match.
Once Austin finishes up with Theo, he turns around to see Jones and gets back into the match. A couple of boxer’s jabs keeps Christian stunned as it allows for Austin to pull him out of the corner and wrap his arms for a belly to belly suplex.
BRAD STOKES: Jones is not having any of that suplex!
A strong European uppercut creates breathing room between the two and Christian sends Austin into the ropes. On the rebound, Austin’s taken down with a scoop powerslam. Christian puts nearly all of his weight into the landing and looks like he crushes Gale. Looking to finish it, Jones picks Gale back up and gets him into a crucifix powerbomb position, trying for the 25 To Life! Though it’s just not meant to be unfortunately for Christian as Austin still has his wits and is able to fight his way free.
When Jones turns around, he meets a second Howler! And with the lateral press, Gale looks to end it.
NINA APPLEBAUM: THE COVER BY GALE!!!! THIS COULD BE IT!
1…
2…
THRE-
BRAD STOKES: NO! Again, Christian Jones manages to kick out at the last possible second!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Austin’s too focused to argue with Theo for a second time.
BRAD STOKES: Good call.
One driving elbow shot to the head and Austin lifts Christian up to his feet. With an impressive display of strength, Gale picks Jones up and hits the Gale Force!
NINA APPLEBAUM: GALE FORCE!!
BRAD STOKES: That looks to be it as Austin hooks the leg!
1…
2…
3!
“Frostbite” by Parkway Drive” kicks in! Austin’s hand is raised in victory, but he’s not pleased with how much energy he had to put into the match. Naturally, the crowd boos him, but he doesn’t care as long as he’s leaving the ring with the victory.
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: Here is your winner… AUSTIN… GALE!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Big win there for Austin Gale.
BRAD STOKES: I knew he had it in him. I believed in him since the very start.
NINA APPLEBAUM: You did not!
BRAD STOKES: Since the start of the match, at least.
NINA APPLEBAUM: I’ve learned that the path of least resistance is just better when dealing with you, Bradley.
BRAD STOKES: Good. That means you're excelling in your training, young padawan.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Oh dear… well, we’ll go backstage now to get some quick words from Blue Impulse before our next match, and there’s good chance Bradley will be strangled by the time we come back to ringside.
BRAD STOKES: Release your anger, child. Preferably on someone else. The Brad must prepare himself for combat, when and if it comes.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Awwwwww. I feel so bad for you.
BRAD STOKES: I sense your sincerity, Nina. Thank you for feeling my pain. You’ll die the quickest when I am king.
DING! DING! DING!
The match between Austin Gale and Christian Jones starts off with a test of strength. For the most part, it’s a complete stalemate as they go back and forth trying to gain a dominant position. NINA APPLEBAUM: Austin Gale is holding his own against the far larger Christian Jones!
A surprising headbutt right out of the gate knocks Jones back enough for Gale to gain control, following up with a snap suplex. Christian’s back on his feet in a hurry only to get knocked back by a clothesline from Austin, but there wasn’t enough strength behind it to put Jones down. That doesn’t stop Austin from attempting another snap suplex, but Christian powers out of it.
BRAD STOKES: Jones is like a tank, and Austin Gale is like… a lowly little reconnaissance vehicle. This is embarrassing!
Jones reverses the suplex attempt and hits one of his own. As Austin attempts to get up, Christian’s quick to head over and plant him back down onto the ring mat with a DDT. Things are back in Christian’s control as he goes to pick up Austin and tosses him into the corner.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Christian Jones fared awfully well against Tommy Stone at Executive Action, and he’s no slouch, and here against Austin Gale the story seems to be much the same!
BRAD STOKES: I taught Christian Jeffries all that he knows, Nina.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Christian Jones, you mean.
BRAD STOKES: Who the hell is Christian Jones?
NINA APPLEBAUM: The guy in the ring.
BRAD STOKES: Huh. Yeah. He’s who I meant. Taught him everything he knows.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Riiiight.
Backed in the corner, Gale’s the recipient of some stiff chops across the chest, each one sucking the air out of the arena. A big elbow connecting straight down onto Austin’s head drops him to the mat and allows for Christian to pull him away from the ropes.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Christian Jones hooks the leg for the cover!
1…
TW—
NINA APPLEBAUM: Kickout at two!
There’s an arrogant smirk on Christian’s face, knowing he wouldn’t be able to put the match away so quick. The crowd’s behind him, but the tides shift thanks to a kick to Christian’s leg from Austin that causes them to boo. Gale follows it up with a European uppercut that causes Jones to stumble back and a follow up dropkick puts the larger opponent on the mat. Bouncing off the ropes, Austin hits a running senton bomb that keeps Christian down.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Nice array of offense on display here by Austin Gale as he gets some momentum behind him!
Keeping the action rolling, Gale gets into a ground and pound position, dropping punch after punch onto the defending Christian Jones. Theo Refano has to step in and threaten a disqualification before Austin let go, getting away with a cheap stomp to the face in the process. Gale picks up his opponent from behind and gets Jones in a waist lock. A few back elbows from Christian isn’t enough to break Austin’s hold as he manages to lift up his opponent for a German suplex.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Gale uses his strength to roll over Jones as he goes for the pin attempt!
1…
TW--
BRAD STOKES: Another early kick out!
Austin rises up. Following some stomps to his opponent, Gale starts taunting Jones to get back up. For the second time, Theo Refano has to pull Austin away and gives Christian enough time to get up to his feet.
BRAD STOKES: Theo Refano’s new glasses are looking spectacular, wouldn’t you say, Nina?
NINA APPLEBAUM: Most definitely.
BRAD STOKES: It’s difficult to use my carefully crafted comedic material when you agree, Nina. Even worse when no one spots my puns.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Such a shame!
Once the referee gets out of his way, Gale is on the offensive with an attempted Superman punch, but Jones gets out of the way. As soon as Austin turns around, he eats a huge Chin Chilla’!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Capitalizing on the big boot, Christian tries for a pin!
1…
2…
THR—
NINA APPLEBAUM: Kickout! And a look of frustration is on Christian’s face and he takes it out on Austin Gale.
A big standing elbow drop does some damage to the smaller Gale. Jones lifts his opponent up and hits him with a hard elbow strike to the side of the head. A dazed Austin gets sent off the ropes and on the rebound, Christian lifts him up in one motion into a military press before slamming him down onto the canvas. Looking for another quick pin attempt, Jones goes after Gale.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Austin surprises Jones with a roll up!
1…
2…
TH—
Christian is back on his feet and trying to recover, but his efforts only see him eat a Howler!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Huge spear by Austin Gale!
The spear puts the big man down and Austin goes for another pin
1…
2…
THRE—
BRAD STOKES: Kickout at three and a third!
Austin can’t believe it! And he’s furious, arguing with Theo Refano about the count. While all of this is going down, it’s just allowing for Christian Jones to prop himself up in the ring corner and collect himself.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Austin Gale may not like the officiating, but it’s taking his focus off the match.
Once Austin finishes up with Theo, he turns around to see Jones and gets back into the match. A couple of boxer’s jabs keeps Christian stunned as it allows for Austin to pull him out of the corner and wrap his arms for a belly to belly suplex.
BRAD STOKES: Jones is not having any of that suplex!
A strong European uppercut creates breathing room between the two and Christian sends Austin into the ropes. On the rebound, Austin’s taken down with a scoop powerslam. Christian puts nearly all of his weight into the landing and looks like he crushes Gale. Looking to finish it, Jones picks Gale back up and gets him into a crucifix powerbomb position, trying for the 25 To Life! Though it’s just not meant to be unfortunately for Christian as Austin still has his wits and is able to fight his way free.
When Jones turns around, he meets a second Howler! And with the lateral press, Gale looks to end it.
NINA APPLEBAUM: THE COVER BY GALE!!!! THIS COULD BE IT!
1…
2…
THRE-
BRAD STOKES: NO! Again, Christian Jones manages to kick out at the last possible second!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Austin’s too focused to argue with Theo for a second time.
BRAD STOKES: Good call.
One driving elbow shot to the head and Austin lifts Christian up to his feet. With an impressive display of strength, Gale picks Jones up and hits the Gale Force!
NINA APPLEBAUM: GALE FORCE!!
BRAD STOKES: That looks to be it as Austin hooks the leg!
1…
2…
3!
DING! DING! DING!
“Frostbite” by Parkway Drive” kicks in! Austin’s hand is raised in victory, but he’s not pleased with how much energy he had to put into the match. Naturally, the crowd boos him, but he doesn’t care as long as he’s leaving the ring with the victory.
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: Here is your winner… AUSTIN… GALE!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Big win there for Austin Gale.
BRAD STOKES: I knew he had it in him. I believed in him since the very start.
NINA APPLEBAUM: You did not!
BRAD STOKES: Since the start of the match, at least.
NINA APPLEBAUM: I’ve learned that the path of least resistance is just better when dealing with you, Bradley.
BRAD STOKES: Good. That means you're excelling in your training, young padawan.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Oh dear… well, we’ll go backstage now to get some quick words from Blue Impulse before our next match, and there’s good chance Bradley will be strangled by the time we come back to ringside.
BRAD STOKES: Release your anger, child. Preferably on someone else. The Brad must prepare himself for combat, when and if it comes.
SASHA SLOAN: Blue Impulse! Mind if I ask a few questions?
HUNTER STORMS: Spare me...
Hanzo looks on from behind, shaking his head as an agitated Storms stares down the interviewer.
SASHA SLOAN: So over the past month, the two of you have managed to score a win over what appeared to be one of the scariest pairings in AWE and most recently at Executive Action, you guys fell short of winning the Dynamic Tag Team Titles. What are your current feelings following those events?
Storms menacingly laughs at the question.
HUNTER STORMS: You really want to know what we feel? Do you really? I'll tell you what we're feeling: Rage, Spite, Grief, and the list goes on and on and on. When we beat The Solomons, there was a spark of happiness, but all of it faded away after Executive Action when we lost to Ketsue-go f**k yourself Z. Those titles were stolen from us. A pair of drunken delinquents don't f**king deserve to be champions in this business and we plan to make ourselves heard tonight.
Storms continues to stare daggers into Sasha Sloan as she recoils back a bit.
SASHA SLOAN: Um....okay, so tonight you are uh......going up against Ketsuekigata Z again, but this time with the addition of Jessie Roberts and Hubert Smalls in the fray therefore making it a Triple Threat Tag Team match. What are your thoughts heading into this match tonight?
HUNTER STORMS: Does it really look like I care if those two bozos are in this match? No, I don't care, Hanzo here doesn't care, we just want to destroy those so called "Zombies" for what happened last time out. I'm not letting them walk out on their own will tonight!
He angrily shoves past Sasha, nearly knocking her over as Hanzo still stands there.
SASHA SLOAN: Mr. Kirigaya, your thoughts tonight?
HANZO KIRIGAYA: Chew bubblegum and kick ass. That's all I gotta say.
Hanzo brushes past Sasha as well, tailing after Storms as the shot fades back to ringside.
Blue Impulse VS. Hubert Smalls & Jessie Roberts VS. Ketsuekigata Z
NINA APPLEBAUM: Strong words from Blue Impulse for Ketsuekigata Z.
BRAD STOKES: I don’t blame them. As much as I love the Zombies, it seems like their star is rising here in the AWE and Blue Impulse suffers setback after setback.
NINA APPLEBAUM: It’s true that lately Hunter Storms has seemed increasingly displeased with his tag-team partner’s lack of experience.
BRAD STOKES: Speaking of inexperience, while Blue Impulse files their way into the ring, get a load of the Smalls and Roberts Connection over here. Ain’t that a hoot?
NINA APPLEBAUM: They’re not tag-team wrestlers by trade, but it’s not much different.
BRAD STOKES: The only thing I want to know is where the hell is the cat. Where is he, Nina?
NINA APPLEBAUM: Probably nestled somewhere safely in his cat carrier.
Inside the ring, in three corners of the ring stand each pairing. Jessie and Hubert in one, Blue Impulse in the other, and Ketsuekigata Z in the other, each conferring amongst themselves before te start of the match.
NINA APPLEBAUM: A three way tag match. A little unorthodox, but nothing these three teams can’t handle.
BRAD STOKES: Wait. Kimi’s got something she wants to say.
With a mic in hand, Kimitsu Zombie strides resplendently to center ring to address the Zombie’s opponents.
KIMITSU ZOMBIE: In honor of this auspicious event, I just thought I would remind us all, and everyone watching, precisely what it is we’re fighting for. Roll the footage.
BRAD STOKES: Huh. Maybe she’s kidnapped Tail Earnhardt…
On the AlphaTron, much to many chagrinned faces in the crowd, flashes a clip of the very same film Kimitsu was studying earlier, featuring Hubert Smalls in a, shall we say, compromising position with another man. Hubert looks stunned, Jessie Roberts’ jaw drops. Kimitsu has a good laugh as the crowd is appalled, or intrigued. Some mothers hide the eyes of their children. The footage is very quickly cut.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Well there goes our broadcasting contract.
BRAD STOKES: These people and their silly little sensibilities. There’s nothing wrong with a man trying to get by early in his career at the chocolate factory.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Regardless, Hubert Smalls does not seem pleased.
Indeed, Hubert rushes across the ring and blindsides Kimi with a strong lariat that flattens her to the canvas.
BRAD STOKES: What a way to get the… BALL… rolling. Get it? Ball?
NINA APPLEBAUM: Shut up, Bradley, or Hubert will flatten you next.
BRAD STOKES: I want his cat.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Another pun?
BRAD STOKES: Get real, Nina.
The little introductory video has ignited a spark in Hubert Smalls who is viciously stomping down on the fallen Kimitsu Zombie. Hanzo Kirigaya reluctantly moves to the jerking kicks of Hubert Smalls and decides to join him, laying the boots down on Kimitsu Zombie as Aoki Zombie antagonizes them both, daring they come strike him instead. Hubert does. Striking Aoki unexpectedly with a stiff forearm that topples the orther half of Ketsuekigata Z off the ring apron and to the outside!
NINA APPLEBAUM: May have been a mistake to rile Hubert up like that. He is literally going to town stomping on Kimi. And she may have inadvertently turned this into a two-on-one.
BRAD STOKES: Now there’s a pun.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Shut up, Bradley.
Kimi quickly sweeps Hubert’s legs out from under him, bunches her knees up and slams the soles of her boots up into Hanzo’s midsection to get them both off her and give her some time to recuperate. IN Hubert’s corner Jessie Roberts is motioning to Hubert to tag her in, a likely overture to let cooler heads prevail. Hubert glares at Kimi before hesitantly tagging Jessie Roberts in to a modest pop from the crowd. As Kimitsu Zombie rises to her feet she gets a moments notice before being slammed backwards by a European uppercut from Jessie Roberts that slumps Kimitsu into her own corner as Aoki Zombie recovers on the outside and steps onto the apron to slap the arm of Kimitsu Zombie for a legal tag.
BRAD STOKES: It actually will be kind of interesting to watch the different dynamics between these three teams. For Blue Impulse and the Zombies, wrestling with a partner is second nature. Neither Hubert or Jessie do much partnering.
NINA APPLEBAUM: It’s definitely an interesting experiment.
Aoki Zombie slams a raw headbutt into Jessie Roberts that backs her up just as Hanzo Kirigaya strides in and unleashes a standing dropkick for Aoki Zombie which he reverses into a sitout powerbomb into a pin!
1..
TW—
NINA APPLEBAUM: Quick save by Jessie Roberts!
Jessie soccer kicks Aoki twice before forcing him up to his feet and whipping him into the ropes. ON the way back she slams him down with a nicely executed tilt-a-whirl slam into a pin!
1..
TW—
NINA APPLEBAUM: Hanzo Kirigaya was there to make the save!
BRAD STOKES: Just call him the dragon, all right? Hey, wouldn’t it be funny if he removed his mask and HE was that Akragth guy, too?
NINA APPLEBAUM: That wouldn’t be funny at all, Bradley.
BRAD STOKES: You’re probably right.
As Jessie rolls towards her corner, Hanzo drags Aoki up to his feet and whips him into the Zombie corner with a hard irish whip then moves to his corner to tag in Hunter Storms.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Uh oh… Hunter Storms seems to disapprove of Hanzo’s current strategy.
BRAD STOKES: Something’s angered him.
Hunter argues with Hanzo momentarily before instructing Hanzo to go right back in there after Aoki Zombie who has used the chance to tag back in Kimitsu Zombie who rushes Hanzo and gives the crowd a pop as she slams Hanzo with an atomic drop then knocks him flat to the canvas with a harsh spin kick.
NINA APPLEBAUM: That choice by Hanzo didn’t seem to endear him much to Hunter Storms.
BRAD STOKES: I don’t think Hunter Storms likes Hanzo much. And who can blame him? A Mask… all the time? Is he serious? And who hails from Japan on purpose, right?
NINA APPLEBAUM: Please stop it, Bradley. We’re likely already in hot water for Kimitsu’s liberal use of the AlphaTron earlier.
BRAD STOKES: Great gag, though! Get it? Gag?
Jessie Roberts has tagged in Hubert Smalls, as Kimitsu rises to her feet after knocking Hanzo to the canvas, she is steamrolled by a charging shoulder thrust by Hubert Smalls that sends Kimitsu stumbling awkwardly forward. Hubert wastes no time hooking Kimi’s leg from behind and SLAMMING her backwards with a belly-to-back suplex!
NINA APPLEBAUM: It’s actually a little odd to see Hubert quite this focused. Even stranger to see how well he and Jessie Roberts have managed so far!
Hubert Smalls grabs Kimi up to her feet and SLAMS her once more to the canvas with a ring-shaking Olympic slam!
BRAD STOKES: Some serious offense there by Hubert Smalls! Kimi shouldn’t have poked the bear. Is that innuendo, Nina? I’m having a hard time keeping track.
NINA APPLEBAUM: I don’t think so, Bradley.
Hubert stands Kimi up once more, the smaller Zombie looks thoroughly stunned by the sudden offense but has enough energy in her to slam a stiff back elbow into Hubert’s face to stagger him, and give her enough time to move out of the way of a Hanzo dropkick that was aimed for her, but now connects with Hubert Smalls’ chest and flops him hard onto his back! Hanzo is up to his feet just as Kimi uses that last ounce of energy she has to SLAM him into the canvas with a standing frankensteiner!
NINA APPLEBAUM: And now all three are down!
BRAD STOKES: Not for long!
Hubert struggles to one knee, as Kimi slides along the canvas to try to make the tag to Aokigahara. Hubert grabs hold of her ankle to stop her, and drags her back to center ring and rolls her quickly into a gator roll pin!
BRAD STOKES: Nice pin attempt here by Hubert Smalls!
1…
2…
NINA APPLEBAUM: Save by Hanzo Kirigaya!
Hubert is up to one knee, just in time to get slammed back down to the canvas with an enziguri kick! Hanzo is proudly back to his feet looking to his partner, who doesn’t seem to want a tag at this point.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Not sure what’s got Hunter Storms refusing to cooperate here.
BRAD STOKES: It’s the kid, Nina. He has BOTH competitors down and he’s not capitalizing.
Kimi struggles to get to all fours as Hubert uses the chance to move for Jessie Roberts and tag her in. Hanzo acts fast, running up the ropes for a springboard crossbody but Jessie Roberts rolls beneath it and Hanzo comes to land on his feet! The crowd is roaring! Hanzo, pumped, turns and slams a forearm shot into Hubert Smalls on the apron before charging Jessie Roberts once more and leaping into the air for another crossbody! Jessie Roberts ducks once more down to the canvas, and Hanzo finds himself slamming into the ropes and awkwardly dumping over them to the outside.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Ouch! Nasty landing for Hanzo Kirigaya.
BRAD STOKES: What was he thinking trying for the cross body again after she plainly ducked the first one anyway?! Hey… what’s Hunter Storms doing.
With Kimi staggering to a knee in the ring, Hubert stunned but recovering on the apron. Hunter Storms as shaken his head at Hanzo and stepped off the ring apron and moved with purpose around the ring to meet Aoki who stands on the apron looking down at him. Unexpectedly, Hunter grabs Aoki’s ankles and drops him off the apron where he hits his back in the fall, then Hunter Storms swiftly hefts Aoki onto his shoulders and SLAMS Aoki down to the canvas with a death valley driver onto the concrete outside! Without much fanfare, Hunter gives a glare down at Hanzo as he passes on his way towards the ramp.
NINA APPLEBAUM: He’s leaving?
BRAD STOKES: Looks like it.
It’s hard for anyone to really know what to make of it. Hanzo is just climbing to one knee on the outside, looking on as Hunter departs from ringside and makes his way backstage. In the ring, Kimitsu Zombie has risen to her feet, looking on just as confused only to be suddenly suckered by a superkick by Jessie Roberts!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Lose some teeth! JESSIE ROBERTS WITH THE COVER!
1…
2..
3!!
Hanzo looks into the ring stunned as Jessie Roberts lifts off Kimitsu Zombie in time to celebrate with an ecstatic Hubert Smalls!
NINA APPLEBAUM: I don’t believe it!
BRAD STOKES: An opportune moment for Jessie Roberts to unleash some hell on an already beaten Kimitsu Zombie! And Hubert Smalls and Jessie Roberts just beat the Dynamic Champions?!
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: Here are your winners…. HUBERT SMALLS… and JESSIE ROBERTTTTTTTSSSSS!
The crowd pops as Jessie and Hubert celebrate in the ring! Almost a hug, but Hubert seems a little shy.
NINA APPLEBAUM: What a match.
BRAD STOKES: Kimi didn’t do herself many favors playing that footage of Hubert to lead us off.
NINA APPLEBAUM: No she didn’t. However you want to look at it, Hubert Smalls and Jessie Roberts just picked up their first win here in the AWE.
BRAD STOKES: Hell may have frozen over, Nina.
NINA APPLEBAUM: It’s a testament to determination and perseverance. We’ll be right back AWEphiles, don’t go away, after these messages from our sponsors!
BRAD STOKES: I don’t blame them. As much as I love the Zombies, it seems like their star is rising here in the AWE and Blue Impulse suffers setback after setback.
NINA APPLEBAUM: It’s true that lately Hunter Storms has seemed increasingly displeased with his tag-team partner’s lack of experience.
BRAD STOKES: Speaking of inexperience, while Blue Impulse files their way into the ring, get a load of the Smalls and Roberts Connection over here. Ain’t that a hoot?
NINA APPLEBAUM: They’re not tag-team wrestlers by trade, but it’s not much different.
BRAD STOKES: The only thing I want to know is where the hell is the cat. Where is he, Nina?
NINA APPLEBAUM: Probably nestled somewhere safely in his cat carrier.
Inside the ring, in three corners of the ring stand each pairing. Jessie and Hubert in one, Blue Impulse in the other, and Ketsuekigata Z in the other, each conferring amongst themselves before te start of the match.
NINA APPLEBAUM: A three way tag match. A little unorthodox, but nothing these three teams can’t handle.
BRAD STOKES: Wait. Kimi’s got something she wants to say.
With a mic in hand, Kimitsu Zombie strides resplendently to center ring to address the Zombie’s opponents.
KIMITSU ZOMBIE: In honor of this auspicious event, I just thought I would remind us all, and everyone watching, precisely what it is we’re fighting for. Roll the footage.
BRAD STOKES: Huh. Maybe she’s kidnapped Tail Earnhardt…
On the AlphaTron, much to many chagrinned faces in the crowd, flashes a clip of the very same film Kimitsu was studying earlier, featuring Hubert Smalls in a, shall we say, compromising position with another man. Hubert looks stunned, Jessie Roberts’ jaw drops. Kimitsu has a good laugh as the crowd is appalled, or intrigued. Some mothers hide the eyes of their children. The footage is very quickly cut.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Well there goes our broadcasting contract.
BRAD STOKES: These people and their silly little sensibilities. There’s nothing wrong with a man trying to get by early in his career at the chocolate factory.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Regardless, Hubert Smalls does not seem pleased.
Indeed, Hubert rushes across the ring and blindsides Kimi with a strong lariat that flattens her to the canvas.
DING! DING! DING!
BRAD STOKES: What a way to get the… BALL… rolling. Get it? Ball?
NINA APPLEBAUM: Shut up, Bradley, or Hubert will flatten you next.
BRAD STOKES: I want his cat.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Another pun?
BRAD STOKES: Get real, Nina.
The little introductory video has ignited a spark in Hubert Smalls who is viciously stomping down on the fallen Kimitsu Zombie. Hanzo Kirigaya reluctantly moves to the jerking kicks of Hubert Smalls and decides to join him, laying the boots down on Kimitsu Zombie as Aoki Zombie antagonizes them both, daring they come strike him instead. Hubert does. Striking Aoki unexpectedly with a stiff forearm that topples the orther half of Ketsuekigata Z off the ring apron and to the outside!
NINA APPLEBAUM: May have been a mistake to rile Hubert up like that. He is literally going to town stomping on Kimi. And she may have inadvertently turned this into a two-on-one.
BRAD STOKES: Now there’s a pun.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Shut up, Bradley.
Kimi quickly sweeps Hubert’s legs out from under him, bunches her knees up and slams the soles of her boots up into Hanzo’s midsection to get them both off her and give her some time to recuperate. IN Hubert’s corner Jessie Roberts is motioning to Hubert to tag her in, a likely overture to let cooler heads prevail. Hubert glares at Kimi before hesitantly tagging Jessie Roberts in to a modest pop from the crowd. As Kimitsu Zombie rises to her feet she gets a moments notice before being slammed backwards by a European uppercut from Jessie Roberts that slumps Kimitsu into her own corner as Aoki Zombie recovers on the outside and steps onto the apron to slap the arm of Kimitsu Zombie for a legal tag.
BRAD STOKES: It actually will be kind of interesting to watch the different dynamics between these three teams. For Blue Impulse and the Zombies, wrestling with a partner is second nature. Neither Hubert or Jessie do much partnering.
NINA APPLEBAUM: It’s definitely an interesting experiment.
Aoki Zombie slams a raw headbutt into Jessie Roberts that backs her up just as Hanzo Kirigaya strides in and unleashes a standing dropkick for Aoki Zombie which he reverses into a sitout powerbomb into a pin!
1..
TW—
NINA APPLEBAUM: Quick save by Jessie Roberts!
Jessie soccer kicks Aoki twice before forcing him up to his feet and whipping him into the ropes. ON the way back she slams him down with a nicely executed tilt-a-whirl slam into a pin!
1..
TW—
NINA APPLEBAUM: Hanzo Kirigaya was there to make the save!
BRAD STOKES: Just call him the dragon, all right? Hey, wouldn’t it be funny if he removed his mask and HE was that Akragth guy, too?
NINA APPLEBAUM: That wouldn’t be funny at all, Bradley.
BRAD STOKES: You’re probably right.
As Jessie rolls towards her corner, Hanzo drags Aoki up to his feet and whips him into the Zombie corner with a hard irish whip then moves to his corner to tag in Hunter Storms.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Uh oh… Hunter Storms seems to disapprove of Hanzo’s current strategy.
BRAD STOKES: Something’s angered him.
Hunter argues with Hanzo momentarily before instructing Hanzo to go right back in there after Aoki Zombie who has used the chance to tag back in Kimitsu Zombie who rushes Hanzo and gives the crowd a pop as she slams Hanzo with an atomic drop then knocks him flat to the canvas with a harsh spin kick.
NINA APPLEBAUM: That choice by Hanzo didn’t seem to endear him much to Hunter Storms.
BRAD STOKES: I don’t think Hunter Storms likes Hanzo much. And who can blame him? A Mask… all the time? Is he serious? And who hails from Japan on purpose, right?
NINA APPLEBAUM: Please stop it, Bradley. We’re likely already in hot water for Kimitsu’s liberal use of the AlphaTron earlier.
BRAD STOKES: Great gag, though! Get it? Gag?
Jessie Roberts has tagged in Hubert Smalls, as Kimitsu rises to her feet after knocking Hanzo to the canvas, she is steamrolled by a charging shoulder thrust by Hubert Smalls that sends Kimitsu stumbling awkwardly forward. Hubert wastes no time hooking Kimi’s leg from behind and SLAMMING her backwards with a belly-to-back suplex!
NINA APPLEBAUM: It’s actually a little odd to see Hubert quite this focused. Even stranger to see how well he and Jessie Roberts have managed so far!
Hubert Smalls grabs Kimi up to her feet and SLAMS her once more to the canvas with a ring-shaking Olympic slam!
BRAD STOKES: Some serious offense there by Hubert Smalls! Kimi shouldn’t have poked the bear. Is that innuendo, Nina? I’m having a hard time keeping track.
NINA APPLEBAUM: I don’t think so, Bradley.
Hubert stands Kimi up once more, the smaller Zombie looks thoroughly stunned by the sudden offense but has enough energy in her to slam a stiff back elbow into Hubert’s face to stagger him, and give her enough time to move out of the way of a Hanzo dropkick that was aimed for her, but now connects with Hubert Smalls’ chest and flops him hard onto his back! Hanzo is up to his feet just as Kimi uses that last ounce of energy she has to SLAM him into the canvas with a standing frankensteiner!
NINA APPLEBAUM: And now all three are down!
BRAD STOKES: Not for long!
Hubert struggles to one knee, as Kimi slides along the canvas to try to make the tag to Aokigahara. Hubert grabs hold of her ankle to stop her, and drags her back to center ring and rolls her quickly into a gator roll pin!
BRAD STOKES: Nice pin attempt here by Hubert Smalls!
1…
2…
NINA APPLEBAUM: Save by Hanzo Kirigaya!
Hubert is up to one knee, just in time to get slammed back down to the canvas with an enziguri kick! Hanzo is proudly back to his feet looking to his partner, who doesn’t seem to want a tag at this point.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Not sure what’s got Hunter Storms refusing to cooperate here.
BRAD STOKES: It’s the kid, Nina. He has BOTH competitors down and he’s not capitalizing.
Kimi struggles to get to all fours as Hubert uses the chance to move for Jessie Roberts and tag her in. Hanzo acts fast, running up the ropes for a springboard crossbody but Jessie Roberts rolls beneath it and Hanzo comes to land on his feet! The crowd is roaring! Hanzo, pumped, turns and slams a forearm shot into Hubert Smalls on the apron before charging Jessie Roberts once more and leaping into the air for another crossbody! Jessie Roberts ducks once more down to the canvas, and Hanzo finds himself slamming into the ropes and awkwardly dumping over them to the outside.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Ouch! Nasty landing for Hanzo Kirigaya.
BRAD STOKES: What was he thinking trying for the cross body again after she plainly ducked the first one anyway?! Hey… what’s Hunter Storms doing.
With Kimi staggering to a knee in the ring, Hubert stunned but recovering on the apron. Hunter Storms as shaken his head at Hanzo and stepped off the ring apron and moved with purpose around the ring to meet Aoki who stands on the apron looking down at him. Unexpectedly, Hunter grabs Aoki’s ankles and drops him off the apron where he hits his back in the fall, then Hunter Storms swiftly hefts Aoki onto his shoulders and SLAMS Aoki down to the canvas with a death valley driver onto the concrete outside! Without much fanfare, Hunter gives a glare down at Hanzo as he passes on his way towards the ramp.
NINA APPLEBAUM: He’s leaving?
BRAD STOKES: Looks like it.
It’s hard for anyone to really know what to make of it. Hanzo is just climbing to one knee on the outside, looking on as Hunter departs from ringside and makes his way backstage. In the ring, Kimitsu Zombie has risen to her feet, looking on just as confused only to be suddenly suckered by a superkick by Jessie Roberts!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Lose some teeth! JESSIE ROBERTS WITH THE COVER!
1…
2..
3!!
DING! DING! DING!
Hanzo looks into the ring stunned as Jessie Roberts lifts off Kimitsu Zombie in time to celebrate with an ecstatic Hubert Smalls!
NINA APPLEBAUM: I don’t believe it!
BRAD STOKES: An opportune moment for Jessie Roberts to unleash some hell on an already beaten Kimitsu Zombie! And Hubert Smalls and Jessie Roberts just beat the Dynamic Champions?!
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: Here are your winners…. HUBERT SMALLS… and JESSIE ROBERTTTTTTTSSSSS!
The crowd pops as Jessie and Hubert celebrate in the ring! Almost a hug, but Hubert seems a little shy.
NINA APPLEBAUM: What a match.
BRAD STOKES: Kimi didn’t do herself many favors playing that footage of Hubert to lead us off.
NINA APPLEBAUM: No she didn’t. However you want to look at it, Hubert Smalls and Jessie Roberts just picked up their first win here in the AWE.
BRAD STOKES: Hell may have frozen over, Nina.
NINA APPLEBAUM: It’s a testament to determination and perseverance. We’ll be right back AWEphiles, don’t go away, after these messages from our sponsors!
Faintly in the background, we can hear light piano music bring us through the door. The scene then comes from bright white to reveal the mid-afternoon glow of a picturesque beach. The oceanside is fairly barren aside from two sets of footprints that stretch for about thirty feet. However, the two sets of footprints coalesce into just one set of footprints directly after that and stretch down the length of the scene. With just a brief few moments to reflect on the still, a familiar voice bellows over the cadence of keys.
HUBERT SMALLS: And the man done said to me, ‘Hubert, how come when I looked back there they’s only one set of feet prints? Where was you during the tough times in my life?’ And I said to him, ‘my friend, it’s ‘cause I was playin’ in the water because that is fun to do.’
We then shift to various stock footage of large churches featuring people going CRAZY in the pews, dancing and shaking and clasping their hands together in prayer. However, the clips seem a little misplaced as a solemn and soothing voice-over accompanies the chaos.
TV VOICE OVER MAN: For days, a true visionary has been spreading the message of love, perseverance, giving thenks to his blessings, and being neice to people. That man is the founder of the Ferst Chirch of Hubism: Hubert Smalls.
Queuing another clip, one of AWE’s finest competitors appears. Finishing up with kicking some poor wrestler-to-be in the face repeatedly with some upbeat stock music in the background, Anastasia Hayden turns away from the corner and walks over to rest her arms atop the ring ropes. Just behind her, the student collapses onto the mat with a loud "thud", but Ana doesn't flinch a bit as she flashes an unwavering smile.
ANA HAYDEN: Being a professional wrestler is real hard. You're always on the road and you've got to stay in peak physical shape. And boy, there's been times where that's been tough to maintain, but thankfully, I've had the help. Some help in the form of Hubert. Without him, there's so much I wouldn't have accomplished. Like winning a championship. Or winning AWE's Alpha Cup...
Suddenly everything in the gym falls silent and the music is cut off as the camera zooms in on Ana's face, her eye twitching, but soon enough the cheesy stock music kicks back in and she's focused back on the camera with her smile, albeit it not as bright as before.
ANA HAYDEN: Hubert has helped me and so many others, so allow yourself to help Hubert continue helping others by donating to this charitable cause. Starting today, you can help fund Hubert's cause of getting the blessed skateboard. So do it! ...Or else I'll find you...and when I do, I'm going to kick your teeth so far down your thro-
TV VOICE-OVER MAN: Hubism has given people like Anastasia Hayden true hope. Even though she still harbors the delusion that she actually won the Alpha Cup, she knows that her true reward lies in Hubert Hevin. But that’s not the only competitor who has come to embrace the values of the Ferst Chirch of Hubism...
Cut to Dare in front of a sunset as a backdrop, he's got the Resilience Championship over his shoulder and his aviator Ray-Bans on. He's looking good. If his eyes weren't hidden, he'd undoubtedly be looking into your soul right now.
DARE CLEMMENS: Hi everyone, my name is Dare Clemmens. You might know me from...being the Resilience Champion and possibly even that time I tried out for American Idol and didn't make it past the doorway because I was naked. It was a dare. Anyway, I'm here to tell you that it's time that you stopped spending money on meaningless things like food and toilet paper and started donating your hard earned dollars to the ‘Hubert needs this blessed Skateboard’ fund. Look, at this face.
Dare holds up a small framed picture of Hubert. Hubert has his hands clasped underneath his chin and he's looking gleefully upwards.
DARE CLEMMENS: Are you really ready to deny this face? He's precious. Please, donate your money to this honorable cause to make sure Hubert gets to skate off into the sunset, depicted behind me, on this infinitely rad skateboard. Thank you.
We then jump to a scene featuring none other than Hubert himself with his arm around amigo and wingman Benny Stevens sitting in a chair. Hubert is pointing out key parts of the “scripture” to Stevens, the student looking on with intent and nodding knowingly. The “scripture,” it should be pointed out, is a child’s coloring book featuring dolphins.
The scene then cuts to Benny Stevens sitting on a steel bed in a jail cell. The man wears an orange jumpsuit and certainly doesn’t look proud of himself. Although he can barely walk due to the fact that the room is too small, he gets up to his feet and paces back and forth with haste.
BENNY STEVENS: I was lost, man.
We see a quick footage of the man himself, Benny Stevens, delivering Karate kicks to a bunch of fans – an incident that got him locked up for about two days. Cut back to the jail cell and there stands Benny holding the bars as he looks into the camera.
BENNY STEVENS: My life was a mess. Honestly? I didn’t even care about myself. I just wanted to do some fine white powder off of a hot stripper’s ass. That wasn’t too much to ask, was it? Oh, man… I was so lost!
A picture of Benny Stevens burying his nose into “something” pops in. Fortunately, the whole area nearby the nose is blurred. Once it fades off, Benny has his back turned to the camera – we see the number on the back of his jumpsuit: #66642069. What an edgy man!
BENNY STEVENS: What goes around comes around… My reckless lifestyle had finally turned on me and got me in jail. That, my friendos, was the moment I realized that I needed help. I needed to be guided by someone bigger than life itself. I needed to open my eyes and see the light… I HAD to be enlightened by Him!
He turns around to look to the camera.
BENNY STEVENS: I’ve had enough of losing in wrestling! Enough of doing drugs! Enough of pouring money on strippers! And for the love of Hubert Smalls, no more drinking alcohol until I pass out! NO! NO MORE!
Benny closes his eyes and slowly unbuttons his jumpsuit. Once he’s done, we can notice that he’s wearing a shirt which the stamp is a picture of Hubert Smalls.
BENNY STEVENS: And I found my light. I found… Him. My life has completely changed and it was definitely for the better. Ever since I embraced Hubert’s knowledge, I have won my matches and been one hundred percent clean. Coincidence? I think not! But the Ferst Chirch of Hubism needs your help, people.
The camera focuses only his face; his blue eyes are a bit teary.
BENNY STEVENS: Hubert Smalls is the light that you have been looking for your entire life. All you’ve got to do is donate… Donate to the humble cause! Do it right now! Just pick up your phone and call the number on the bottom of your screen because He needs you. WE need you. His message needs to be delivered and the Great skateboard is his way of making it happen. We shall soon witness our savior, Hubert Smalls, doing an Ollie over sinners as he blesses his followers – priceless! Oh, may Hubert Smalls bless you.
Benny does the sign of the cross and points to the picture of Hubert on his shirt as the scene fades back to both he and Hubie. The two smile at the camera as the Cat Daddy and Minister of Neice addresses the audience.
HUBERT SMALLS: Yes. Benny came to see the ways of Hubism in its neicest form and he is now a changed man. Well not really too changed, he is still cool, but just not going to jail no more. And fans, you are cool too, but I can’t really preach or nothin’ in far away lands like China or Canada ‘cause it’s too far to walk. So please, call today at the number on your television or compooter or cellulite phone and donate to buy me a skateboard to get to lands easy. If you don’t believe me, I even got Thirteen to say stuff good about the Chirch of Hubism. Ain’t that right, Thirteens?
And on point,we cut to a shot of a Planet Fitness, where one of the owning interests of the AWE is front and center next to a row of exercise bikes. She’s fresh off a workout, standing several feet off from a pec deck with a battleship gray towel draped across Thirteen’s shoulders as her cutaway enters right on a big, welcoming smile on her face.
THIRTEEN: Oh, totally! Hubert’s a huge inspiration. Take a look at this.
She bends down out of view of the camera and stands back into view holding a beautiful Persian empress of a cat.
THIRTEEN: Meet Mrs. Puff 'n Stuff. That's right, Hubert’s inspired me to take my cat with me to the gym. No fear! He’ll inspire you, too! That skateboard’s exactly what Hubert needs! Donate today!
Big smile as Thirteen cradles the cat to her face where she makes a mock kissy face before waving at the camera with the cat’s paw. Prior to the scene cutting forward, the pair are confronted by a man in the purple Planet Fitness golf polo. The man looks STRANGELY FAMILIAR to a certain competitor in 4CW by the name of Bryan Williams. He ignores Thirteen and proceeds to directly address the cat.
BRYAN WILLIAMS: Can I interest you in a membership deal? Only five bucks a month for the first month and then forty bucks a week after that.
Thirteen shoots him a confused look, which merely prompts him to grin at the camera.
BRYAN WILLIAMS: Hubert rules!
TV VOICE-OVER MAN: Yes, yes he does. And with your generous contribution, you too will be a ruler. By helping to purchase this four-wheeled faith vessel capable of fucking sick vert air that can reach almost as high as Hubert Hevin, you will have punched your ticket to the afterlife that welcomes cats and dogs and other good animals -- because Christianity and Buddhism and Islam and Hare Krishna and Branch Davidian and Jonestown and all that stuff don’t think animals can get to an afterlife. Heck, even THIS Communist heathen has seen the light...
Cut into a scene of Bindy Trent sitting outside on the back porch of some cabin in the woods. She's sitting with her legs crossed, barefoot, in a pair of leggings and a sports bra, with a steaming cup of tea at her side. After several deep concentrated breaths she opens her eyes and smiles, all whilst leaning to the side to pick up her tea.
BINDY TRENT: Now all my life I've never been much of one for organized religion. It always felt like a get rich quick scam some pastor was just using to line his pockets and buy a vacation house, but after speaking personally with Hubert Smalls I know I can safely say that that isn't the case here. Hubism isn't a Church, it's a Chirch, and I think that difference can really be felt through the words and wisdom of Hubert.
This isn't some self-serving scheme to pick the last pennies out of the pockets of little old women on Social Security. This is an honest to goodness cause that can really make a difference in the world. With just a few small donations from people like you and me in no time at all we can fully fund the cause to get Hubert a totally sick skateboard so that he can bring his goodness and light far and wide. But why stop there? Shouldn't our goal be to get him the best skateboard possible, like one that lights up and glows in the dark so that he can be safe while riding at night? Of course it should. So please, find it in your heart to donate today.
Bindy leans forward with a slight bow to the camera, before taking in another fresh breath of morning air and lifting her beverage to her mouth for a petite sip, followed by an exaggerated 'mmmm!' as her testimonial cuts off.
The piano from earlier is now heightened a bit, and we suddenly recognize it to be the melody from “We Are The World.” The scene then shifts to a church sanctuary: more specifically, a close-up shot of Tail Earnhardt complete with a little beehive hair wig atop his head walking across the keys. It is somewhat of a miracle (or through editing) that the cat is actually able to play the song like this. It is definitely a miracle that the cat allowed for the horrendous church lady wig to be put on his head.
The shot then begins to pan out to reveal ALL of the members of the Chirch within the chorus row of the sanctuary dressed identically in black shirts, black sweatpants, and black Nike Decades, singing in unison. Ana, Bindy, Bryan, Dare, Thirteen, Benny, Hubert, and the guy that Ana beat the crap out of attempt to carry the tune to the best of their ability (not much.)
CHIRCH OF HUBISM: WE ARE THE WORRELL! WE ARE THE HUBERT!
It should be noted two things, however: first, there is not a trace of tenor or bass in the song. As the camera pans the row, it even seems as though the men are singing in a falsetto.
As to the other, it appears that everyone is holding a red Solo cup in their left hand, in which they sway back and forth in time. Well, almost everyone. Ana, angrily balling a fist at the young trainee, forces him to give her his drink so that she has two.
CHIRCH OF HUBISM: WE ARE THE ONES WHO ARE DOIN’ STUFF, SO LET’S BE NEICE THEN!
The camera then slowly rotates toward the far left of the stage where we see a shot of Hanzo Kirigaya waiting outside of a closed door. He appears to be a little hesitant to go in, as his hands shake with nervousness to grab the knob. The shot then moves directly upward to reveal a sign that reads “CATSTRATION ROOME.” Without much warning, the door FLINGS open to reveal A$hley Quid with a huge smile on her face. Brandishing a pair of hedge clippers, she grabs Hanzo by the arm and forces him inside, closing the door behind her.
Trapezing back to the chorus, Hubert Smalls brandishes a microphone while the rest of the Chirch continues to sing.
HUBERT SMALLS: Praise the Lort and Halle Berry! Fans, please send me your money to buy the skateboard and also Airwalks because I need them too and you too will join us in Hubert Hevin!
With this, the members of the Chirch of Hubism all raise their Solo cups in a toast, and just before taking a gulp…
HUBERT SMALLS: And the man done said to me, ‘Hubert, how come when I looked back there they’s only one set of feet prints? Where was you during the tough times in my life?’ And I said to him, ‘my friend, it’s ‘cause I was playin’ in the water because that is fun to do.’
We then shift to various stock footage of large churches featuring people going CRAZY in the pews, dancing and shaking and clasping their hands together in prayer. However, the clips seem a little misplaced as a solemn and soothing voice-over accompanies the chaos.
TV VOICE OVER MAN: For days, a true visionary has been spreading the message of love, perseverance, giving thenks to his blessings, and being neice to people. That man is the founder of the Ferst Chirch of Hubism: Hubert Smalls.
Queuing another clip, one of AWE’s finest competitors appears. Finishing up with kicking some poor wrestler-to-be in the face repeatedly with some upbeat stock music in the background, Anastasia Hayden turns away from the corner and walks over to rest her arms atop the ring ropes. Just behind her, the student collapses onto the mat with a loud "thud", but Ana doesn't flinch a bit as she flashes an unwavering smile.
ANA HAYDEN: Being a professional wrestler is real hard. You're always on the road and you've got to stay in peak physical shape. And boy, there's been times where that's been tough to maintain, but thankfully, I've had the help. Some help in the form of Hubert. Without him, there's so much I wouldn't have accomplished. Like winning a championship. Or winning AWE's Alpha Cup...
Suddenly everything in the gym falls silent and the music is cut off as the camera zooms in on Ana's face, her eye twitching, but soon enough the cheesy stock music kicks back in and she's focused back on the camera with her smile, albeit it not as bright as before.
ANA HAYDEN: Hubert has helped me and so many others, so allow yourself to help Hubert continue helping others by donating to this charitable cause. Starting today, you can help fund Hubert's cause of getting the blessed skateboard. So do it! ...Or else I'll find you...and when I do, I'm going to kick your teeth so far down your thro-
TV VOICE-OVER MAN: Hubism has given people like Anastasia Hayden true hope. Even though she still harbors the delusion that she actually won the Alpha Cup, she knows that her true reward lies in Hubert Hevin. But that’s not the only competitor who has come to embrace the values of the Ferst Chirch of Hubism...
Cut to Dare in front of a sunset as a backdrop, he's got the Resilience Championship over his shoulder and his aviator Ray-Bans on. He's looking good. If his eyes weren't hidden, he'd undoubtedly be looking into your soul right now.
DARE CLEMMENS: Hi everyone, my name is Dare Clemmens. You might know me from...being the Resilience Champion and possibly even that time I tried out for American Idol and didn't make it past the doorway because I was naked. It was a dare. Anyway, I'm here to tell you that it's time that you stopped spending money on meaningless things like food and toilet paper and started donating your hard earned dollars to the ‘Hubert needs this blessed Skateboard’ fund. Look, at this face.
Dare holds up a small framed picture of Hubert. Hubert has his hands clasped underneath his chin and he's looking gleefully upwards.
DARE CLEMMENS: Are you really ready to deny this face? He's precious. Please, donate your money to this honorable cause to make sure Hubert gets to skate off into the sunset, depicted behind me, on this infinitely rad skateboard. Thank you.
We then jump to a scene featuring none other than Hubert himself with his arm around amigo and wingman Benny Stevens sitting in a chair. Hubert is pointing out key parts of the “scripture” to Stevens, the student looking on with intent and nodding knowingly. The “scripture,” it should be pointed out, is a child’s coloring book featuring dolphins.
The scene then cuts to Benny Stevens sitting on a steel bed in a jail cell. The man wears an orange jumpsuit and certainly doesn’t look proud of himself. Although he can barely walk due to the fact that the room is too small, he gets up to his feet and paces back and forth with haste.
BENNY STEVENS: I was lost, man.
We see a quick footage of the man himself, Benny Stevens, delivering Karate kicks to a bunch of fans – an incident that got him locked up for about two days. Cut back to the jail cell and there stands Benny holding the bars as he looks into the camera.
BENNY STEVENS: My life was a mess. Honestly? I didn’t even care about myself. I just wanted to do some fine white powder off of a hot stripper’s ass. That wasn’t too much to ask, was it? Oh, man… I was so lost!
A picture of Benny Stevens burying his nose into “something” pops in. Fortunately, the whole area nearby the nose is blurred. Once it fades off, Benny has his back turned to the camera – we see the number on the back of his jumpsuit: #66642069. What an edgy man!
BENNY STEVENS: What goes around comes around… My reckless lifestyle had finally turned on me and got me in jail. That, my friendos, was the moment I realized that I needed help. I needed to be guided by someone bigger than life itself. I needed to open my eyes and see the light… I HAD to be enlightened by Him!
He turns around to look to the camera.
BENNY STEVENS: I’ve had enough of losing in wrestling! Enough of doing drugs! Enough of pouring money on strippers! And for the love of Hubert Smalls, no more drinking alcohol until I pass out! NO! NO MORE!
Benny closes his eyes and slowly unbuttons his jumpsuit. Once he’s done, we can notice that he’s wearing a shirt which the stamp is a picture of Hubert Smalls.
BENNY STEVENS: And I found my light. I found… Him. My life has completely changed and it was definitely for the better. Ever since I embraced Hubert’s knowledge, I have won my matches and been one hundred percent clean. Coincidence? I think not! But the Ferst Chirch of Hubism needs your help, people.
The camera focuses only his face; his blue eyes are a bit teary.
BENNY STEVENS: Hubert Smalls is the light that you have been looking for your entire life. All you’ve got to do is donate… Donate to the humble cause! Do it right now! Just pick up your phone and call the number on the bottom of your screen because He needs you. WE need you. His message needs to be delivered and the Great skateboard is his way of making it happen. We shall soon witness our savior, Hubert Smalls, doing an Ollie over sinners as he blesses his followers – priceless! Oh, may Hubert Smalls bless you.
Benny does the sign of the cross and points to the picture of Hubert on his shirt as the scene fades back to both he and Hubie. The two smile at the camera as the Cat Daddy and Minister of Neice addresses the audience.
HUBERT SMALLS: Yes. Benny came to see the ways of Hubism in its neicest form and he is now a changed man. Well not really too changed, he is still cool, but just not going to jail no more. And fans, you are cool too, but I can’t really preach or nothin’ in far away lands like China or Canada ‘cause it’s too far to walk. So please, call today at the number on your television or compooter or cellulite phone and donate to buy me a skateboard to get to lands easy. If you don’t believe me, I even got Thirteen to say stuff good about the Chirch of Hubism. Ain’t that right, Thirteens?
And on point,we cut to a shot of a Planet Fitness, where one of the owning interests of the AWE is front and center next to a row of exercise bikes. She’s fresh off a workout, standing several feet off from a pec deck with a battleship gray towel draped across Thirteen’s shoulders as her cutaway enters right on a big, welcoming smile on her face.
THIRTEEN: Oh, totally! Hubert’s a huge inspiration. Take a look at this.
She bends down out of view of the camera and stands back into view holding a beautiful Persian empress of a cat.
THIRTEEN: Meet Mrs. Puff 'n Stuff. That's right, Hubert’s inspired me to take my cat with me to the gym. No fear! He’ll inspire you, too! That skateboard’s exactly what Hubert needs! Donate today!
Big smile as Thirteen cradles the cat to her face where she makes a mock kissy face before waving at the camera with the cat’s paw. Prior to the scene cutting forward, the pair are confronted by a man in the purple Planet Fitness golf polo. The man looks STRANGELY FAMILIAR to a certain competitor in 4CW by the name of Bryan Williams. He ignores Thirteen and proceeds to directly address the cat.
BRYAN WILLIAMS: Can I interest you in a membership deal? Only five bucks a month for the first month and then forty bucks a week after that.
Thirteen shoots him a confused look, which merely prompts him to grin at the camera.
BRYAN WILLIAMS: Hubert rules!
TV VOICE-OVER MAN: Yes, yes he does. And with your generous contribution, you too will be a ruler. By helping to purchase this four-wheeled faith vessel capable of fucking sick vert air that can reach almost as high as Hubert Hevin, you will have punched your ticket to the afterlife that welcomes cats and dogs and other good animals -- because Christianity and Buddhism and Islam and Hare Krishna and Branch Davidian and Jonestown and all that stuff don’t think animals can get to an afterlife. Heck, even THIS Communist heathen has seen the light...
Cut into a scene of Bindy Trent sitting outside on the back porch of some cabin in the woods. She's sitting with her legs crossed, barefoot, in a pair of leggings and a sports bra, with a steaming cup of tea at her side. After several deep concentrated breaths she opens her eyes and smiles, all whilst leaning to the side to pick up her tea.
BINDY TRENT: Now all my life I've never been much of one for organized religion. It always felt like a get rich quick scam some pastor was just using to line his pockets and buy a vacation house, but after speaking personally with Hubert Smalls I know I can safely say that that isn't the case here. Hubism isn't a Church, it's a Chirch, and I think that difference can really be felt through the words and wisdom of Hubert.
This isn't some self-serving scheme to pick the last pennies out of the pockets of little old women on Social Security. This is an honest to goodness cause that can really make a difference in the world. With just a few small donations from people like you and me in no time at all we can fully fund the cause to get Hubert a totally sick skateboard so that he can bring his goodness and light far and wide. But why stop there? Shouldn't our goal be to get him the best skateboard possible, like one that lights up and glows in the dark so that he can be safe while riding at night? Of course it should. So please, find it in your heart to donate today.
And may peace and Hubie be with you.
Bindy leans forward with a slight bow to the camera, before taking in another fresh breath of morning air and lifting her beverage to her mouth for a petite sip, followed by an exaggerated 'mmmm!' as her testimonial cuts off.
The piano from earlier is now heightened a bit, and we suddenly recognize it to be the melody from “We Are The World.” The scene then shifts to a church sanctuary: more specifically, a close-up shot of Tail Earnhardt complete with a little beehive hair wig atop his head walking across the keys. It is somewhat of a miracle (or through editing) that the cat is actually able to play the song like this. It is definitely a miracle that the cat allowed for the horrendous church lady wig to be put on his head.
The shot then begins to pan out to reveal ALL of the members of the Chirch within the chorus row of the sanctuary dressed identically in black shirts, black sweatpants, and black Nike Decades, singing in unison. Ana, Bindy, Bryan, Dare, Thirteen, Benny, Hubert, and the guy that Ana beat the crap out of attempt to carry the tune to the best of their ability (not much.)
CHIRCH OF HUBISM: WE ARE THE WORRELL! WE ARE THE HUBERT!
It should be noted two things, however: first, there is not a trace of tenor or bass in the song. As the camera pans the row, it even seems as though the men are singing in a falsetto.
As to the other, it appears that everyone is holding a red Solo cup in their left hand, in which they sway back and forth in time. Well, almost everyone. Ana, angrily balling a fist at the young trainee, forces him to give her his drink so that she has two.
CHIRCH OF HUBISM: WE ARE THE ONES WHO ARE DOIN’ STUFF, SO LET’S BE NEICE THEN!
The camera then slowly rotates toward the far left of the stage where we see a shot of Hanzo Kirigaya waiting outside of a closed door. He appears to be a little hesitant to go in, as his hands shake with nervousness to grab the knob. The shot then moves directly upward to reveal a sign that reads “CATSTRATION ROOME.” Without much warning, the door FLINGS open to reveal A$hley Quid with a huge smile on her face. Brandishing a pair of hedge clippers, she grabs Hanzo by the arm and forces him inside, closing the door behind her.
Trapezing back to the chorus, Hubert Smalls brandishes a microphone while the rest of the Chirch continues to sing.
HUBERT SMALLS: Praise the Lort and Halle Berry! Fans, please send me your money to buy the skateboard and also Airwalks because I need them too and you too will join us in Hubert Hevin!
With this, the members of the Chirch of Hubism all raise their Solo cups in a toast, and just before taking a gulp…
CALL, PAYPAL, OR SEND CASH IN THE MAIL NOW TO THE CHIRCH OF HUBISM!
Benny Stevens VS. Bindy Trent
BRAD STOKES: Pretty racist, Nina.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Shut up, Bradley. Thank you for joining us once more for a continuation of Massacre 8, and what a night it’s been so far.
BRAD STOKES: Blah, blah, blah, and so much is left to come. Just get to the part where Bindy reveals herself to me.
Inside the ring, in opposite corners, stands Bindy Trent and Benny Stevens.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Not going to happen, Bradley.
BRAD STOKES: You don’t know. How could you know? You just called everyone “Gentlefrogs”.
NINA APPLEBAUM: It’s a reference to Kermit the—
BRAD STOKES: I KNOW WHAT IT IS, NOW STOP IT! It’s a form of abuse.
DING! DING! DING!
Inside the ring, Benny and Bindy circle one another before Benny forces Bindy into a tie-up he swiftly sends her sprawling over onto her back with a monkey flip.
NINA APPLEBAUM: We’ve slowly watched a normally easygoing Benny Stevens turn into—
BRAD STOKES: A hellion, Nina. A warrior. The kid’s a rebel without a cause. He’s the one that flew over the cuckoo’s nest. He’s… I don’t know what’s another reference I can make. Need to sound clever when Bindy watches this tape.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Just tell her you eat vegan peanut butter.
BRAD STOKES: They have that? I’m sorry, I can’t do it. It goes against my principles. I don’t eat anything that doesn’t exploit preexisting habitats or make life more difficult for those unfortunates who weren’t born in wealthy countries.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Your loss.
BRAD STOKES: Don’t try to change me.
As Benny goes for a quick leaping moonsault, Bindy lifts her knees and slams them hard into Benny’s midsection and rolls out of the way to climb to one knee.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Nice ring awareness there by Bindy Trent.
BRAD STOKES: What if I just say I’m a vegan to trick her, will that work?
NINA APPLEBAUM: It’s tough to fake.
BRAD STOKES: Sounds like a dare to me.
Bindy rises to her feet and clutches Benny up by the neck with her only to get a stiff elbow to her midsection to double her over and then plants her with a spinning spinebuster!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Benny with the cover!
1…
TW—
BRAD STOKES: Benny’s not a vegan, and he seems to be doing just fine.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Benny’s also batshit crazy.
BRAD STOKES: Chicks love that. Wait till they got a load of me.
Benny goes into the ground and pound position btu finds Bindy wholly unreceptive to allowing his punches, as she covers up quite expertly and makes herself difficult to entirely pin down before slamming her knees up hard into Benny’s spine and freeing herself.
NINA APPLEBAUM: These two aren’t going to budge an inch.
BRAD STOKES: This match has serious implications in terms of who’s next to challenge for the Resilience Championship. Benny’s been chomping at the bit too long to let this one slip through his fingers.
NINA APPLEBAUM: And Bindy Trent hasn’t been here long but has already asserted herself as a force in the division.
Bindy is on her feet but so is Benny, and he rapidly rises up the turnbuckle and surprises Bindy with a leaping splash she retaliates unexpectedly with a koppu kick that knocks Benny to the canvas!
NINA APPLEBAUM: And the cover by Bindy Trent!
1..
TW—
BRAD STOKES: Kickout by Benny Stevens!
Bindy is steady back to her feet, gripping Benny but this time Benny staggers her senseless with a rising knee then plants Bindy facefirst into the canvas with a running bull dog!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Cover by Benny Stevens!
1…
2…
NINA APPLEBAUM: Kickout right at 2!
Benny, with sheer determination and grit, drags Bindy up to her feet and lays into her with a timely savate kick that knocks her sideways then nails her with a spinning roundhouse to the back of the head that drives Bindy painfully into the ropes!
BRAD STOKES: Literally got Bindy on the ropes here!
Benny charges, grabs hold of Bindy and uses the ropes as a slingshot to tornado DDT Bindy down to the canvas with authority!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Another cover by Benny Stevens!
1…
2..
THR—
NINA APPLEBAUM: Close call!
BRAD STOKES: I tell you, Benny doesn’t miss a beat, does he? We’ve never seen him this focused on a match. It’s kinda frightening, if I’m honest. Get this guy a B12 shot.
Benny raises Bindy to her feet and aims another rising knee but Bindy sidesteps it and uses Benny’s forward momentum to slide him across the canvas with an arm drag! Benny is up to his feet with quickness, charging Bindy who delivers another arm drag! Undeterred, Benny is up again only to be put down by a quick headscissor takedown!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Nice chain there by Bindy Trent.
BRAD STOKES: Not enough to keep Benny Stevens down!
Benny is up faster than Bindy expected and she finds herself getting pummeled by a sudden flurry of rabbit punches to back Bindy into the corner before slamming a stiff elbow to keep her stunned! Benny charges backward then rushes the cornered Bindy and leaps into the air for a splash but Bindy escapes last minute!
NINA APPLEBAUM: No one home!
Benny is quick on the recovery though, closing up his arms and bracing himself against the turnbuckle to expertly lessen the impact! Once again Bindy wasn’t expecting Benny’s hurried recovery and he aims a front snap kick for Bindy but she avoids that deftly and forces Benny into a backdrop lift facebuster!!!
NINA APPLEBAUM: NICELY DONE BY BINDY!!! SHE’S GOT THIS THING!
Benny is down, the crowd is on its feet, and Bindy climbs the top rope with exuberance and a hearty motion to the crowd to keep their eyes on her as she launches off the top rope for a shooting star leg drop!
NINA APPLEBAUM: LET IT RIDE—NO!!
BRAD STOKES: NO ONE HOME!!!
Benny manages to escape just as Bindy comes crashing down and bounces hard on her backside!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Bindy Trent was NOT expecting that!
Benny is slow to his feet, eyeing Bindy as he catches his breath and uses t the ropes for balance before quickly slamming a kick into Bindy’s back. Then another! Then another before forcing Bindy to stagger up to her feet and then SLAMS her back into the corner with a hard hitting Tobi Geri!!
NINA APPLEBAUM: THE NIRVANA!!!
The crowd pops and roars loudly in the face of the back and forth nature of this match as Bindy is propped painfully in the corner after the flying front side kick from Benny Stevens. Looking in control of the match, Benny moves in to Bindy and delivers a series of stiff shots to her midsection before he lifts her onto the turnbuckle.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Benny Stevens has got Bindy Trent in trouble here.
Benny climbs up to the middle rope and slams another shot into Bindy’s face to keep her stunned before starting to lift her up to a stand on the turnbuckle. Before he can, however, she slams a stiff shot of her own into Benny’s face that staggers him off-balance and drops him off the ropes. The crowd is roaring as Bindy slams a stiff kick into Benny to stun him and spin around! And with a sudden quickness and efficiency, Bindy locks Benny into a diamond dust and SLAMS him down and goes for a cover!
1…
2…
3!!!
DING! DING! DING!
“Award Show Taylor Swift” By Bowling for Soup kicks in as Bindy rises to her feet looking worn out and tired.
NINA APPLEBAUM: A near impossible win for Bindy Trent there, but she pulled it out.
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: Here is your winner… BINDY…. TRENT!
BRAD STOKES: Tough loss for Benny Stevens. Had he been a vegan that may have worked out differently.
NINA APPLEBAUM: You’re so full of it, Bradley.
BRAD STOKES: I highly doubt that.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Whatever. We’ll go backstage now, where I’m told we’re set to check in on our new Chief Operating Officer.
BRAD STOKES: I got my foam finger out to prove I’m still on the team!
We go backstage where the changes are obvious to anyone familiar with the way the AWE ship ran prior to the changes ushered in at Executive Action. Whereas T.S. locked himself behind a light brown set of doors, in a darkened room which was difficult to determine just what exactly all was contained inside, here now we find a set of double clear doors. The office is brightly lit. Inside, Kassandrah sits behind a broad desk with various assistants, and Tony Chu standing behind her as she signs documents and then holds them up for camera people to snap pictures of her signature on a slew of documents and contracts.
People clap. Things are getting done.
Outside in the hallway which is itself bright and well lit, an artificial plant greens up the hallway, sit Thirteen and Francis Ford Cuppola in a small lounge. They look in through the glass as the attendants clap as Kassandrah shows yet another document signed amid snaps of photography.
THIRTEEN: Wow.
She looks on listlessly, competing her jealousy against her pride at seeing Kassandrah come into her own.
THIRTEEN: It’s kind of surreal, isn't it?
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: It’s as it should be. We have our controlling stakes. The company’s in good hands. I guess all we do now is get used to the new normal.
THIRTEEN: The new normal is boring, though. I mean… what am I going to do now, Francis? I’m a kickboxer. A wrestler. I’m used to excitement and action, you know? This… this is… dull. What are you gonna do?
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Me? Well, I was waiting to say something… but I think I might retire.
Thirteen eyed him with surprise and a sudden jolt of sadness she hadn’t expected given the pair’s earlier antagonism toward one another. She couldn't believe how fast everything was changing.
THIRTEEN: Retire? You?
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: It’s been thirty years, ‘teen.
THIRTEEN: Wow.
She was thoughtful as Francis sipped from a cup of coffee.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Yeah. I think I might go with some all-seasons. Maybe some radials. I like a good tread, you know? Gonna take my limo off-roading.
Thirteen blinked, closed her eyes tight, before looking at Francis pitying herself for sitting with him and thinking they were even remotely on the same page. She could only stare at him, unwilling to follow him down this tangent.
THIRTEEN: I need new friends.
Francis smiled obliviously at her as her heart sank, feeling that gushing sense of loss and change and need swelling into some sort of indescribable need.
THIRTEEN: There’s got to be something better than this.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Hey. It’s like John Lennon said: "You gotta know when to hold them, you gotta know when to fold them."
THIRTEEN: *glares* That wasn’t John Lennon.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Then maybe it was David Ginsberg.
Thirteen felt herself grow more irritated, realizing she may be stuck with this man as some strange partner in the complete lack of crimes left now that the AWE house was back in order.
THIRTEEN: No it wasn’t.
Francis mulled the mistake over innocently.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Tupac, then?
Thirteen’s eye began twitching, thankfully interrupted by Tony Chu bursting out of Kassandrah’s office looking similarly irritated.
TONY CHU: Have either of you seen my client?
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Can't find Ferris Bueller?
TONY CHU: *through gritted teeth* Dare. Clemmens.
Francis didn’t believe that was his name.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Whatever you say.
He chuckled to Thirteen as if she were in on his line of thinking. She wasn’t.
THIRTEEN: I thought I saw him here earlier talking to Bindy Trent or something.
TONY CHU: He was here. Then he left. He went to take a spin in his *the teeth grit once more* car and pick up this Erica Bragg character. He’s going to miss his own title defense and it’s the first one.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Skipping school, huh?
Francis winked at Thirteen, again assuming she were privy to his thinking.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: I think we’ve all seen how this plays out.
Francis smiled cleverly. Tony Chu shook his head in annoyance and stormed off. Thirteen called after him innocently,
THIRTEEN: I’m sure he’ll be here.
She looked concerned. Another round of applause in Kassandrah’s office as she presented another signed document for the photographers.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: If you’re really looking for something to do, maybe you could help Tony wrangle his new client.
Thirteen frowned thoughtfully and considered what to do with her life.
People clap. Things are getting done.
Outside in the hallway which is itself bright and well lit, an artificial plant greens up the hallway, sit Thirteen and Francis Ford Cuppola in a small lounge. They look in through the glass as the attendants clap as Kassandrah shows yet another document signed amid snaps of photography.
THIRTEEN: Wow.
She looks on listlessly, competing her jealousy against her pride at seeing Kassandrah come into her own.
THIRTEEN: It’s kind of surreal, isn't it?
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: It’s as it should be. We have our controlling stakes. The company’s in good hands. I guess all we do now is get used to the new normal.
THIRTEEN: The new normal is boring, though. I mean… what am I going to do now, Francis? I’m a kickboxer. A wrestler. I’m used to excitement and action, you know? This… this is… dull. What are you gonna do?
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Me? Well, I was waiting to say something… but I think I might retire.
Thirteen eyed him with surprise and a sudden jolt of sadness she hadn’t expected given the pair’s earlier antagonism toward one another. She couldn't believe how fast everything was changing.
THIRTEEN: Retire? You?
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: It’s been thirty years, ‘teen.
THIRTEEN: Wow.
She was thoughtful as Francis sipped from a cup of coffee.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Yeah. I think I might go with some all-seasons. Maybe some radials. I like a good tread, you know? Gonna take my limo off-roading.
Thirteen blinked, closed her eyes tight, before looking at Francis pitying herself for sitting with him and thinking they were even remotely on the same page. She could only stare at him, unwilling to follow him down this tangent.
THIRTEEN: I need new friends.
Francis smiled obliviously at her as her heart sank, feeling that gushing sense of loss and change and need swelling into some sort of indescribable need.
THIRTEEN: There’s got to be something better than this.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Hey. It’s like John Lennon said: "You gotta know when to hold them, you gotta know when to fold them."
THIRTEEN: *glares* That wasn’t John Lennon.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Then maybe it was David Ginsberg.
Thirteen felt herself grow more irritated, realizing she may be stuck with this man as some strange partner in the complete lack of crimes left now that the AWE house was back in order.
THIRTEEN: No it wasn’t.
Francis mulled the mistake over innocently.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Tupac, then?
Thirteen’s eye began twitching, thankfully interrupted by Tony Chu bursting out of Kassandrah’s office looking similarly irritated.
TONY CHU: Have either of you seen my client?
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Can't find Ferris Bueller?
TONY CHU: *through gritted teeth* Dare. Clemmens.
Francis didn’t believe that was his name.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Whatever you say.
He chuckled to Thirteen as if she were in on his line of thinking. She wasn’t.
THIRTEEN: I thought I saw him here earlier talking to Bindy Trent or something.
TONY CHU: He was here. Then he left. He went to take a spin in his *the teeth grit once more* car and pick up this Erica Bragg character. He’s going to miss his own title defense and it’s the first one.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Skipping school, huh?
Francis winked at Thirteen, again assuming she were privy to his thinking.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: I think we’ve all seen how this plays out.
Francis smiled cleverly. Tony Chu shook his head in annoyance and stormed off. Thirteen called after him innocently,
THIRTEEN: I’m sure he’ll be here.
She looked concerned. Another round of applause in Kassandrah’s office as she presented another signed document for the photographers.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: If you’re really looking for something to do, maybe you could help Tony wrangle his new client.
Thirteen frowned thoughtfully and considered what to do with her life.
The Depeche Mode hit, “Personal Jesus” plays, and down the ramp walks an older man in ring gear, wearing a t-shirt with an absolutely awesome logo of a bear roaring and swiping its claws emblazoned on the front of the shirt. Over his shoulder is slung a title belt that doesn’t look like any familiar to AWE fans. He walks with purpose down the aisle way toward the ring, glaring out at the fans like he were sizing them up before threatening one with a backhand. Some boos erupt from that pocket of fans.
BRAD STOKES: And what’s this then? Should I know this guy?
NINA APPLEBAUM: Only vaguely. He is signed to the AWE. He’s on the Enhancement Talent Roster. His name is Jack “The Bear” Hugg.
BRAD STOKES: How on earth do you know so much, Nina?! I feel like there’s information somewhere I’m missing!
NINA APPLEBAUM: It’s all on the AWE website, and on the notes we get before the show. If you look down, you can see the same thing I’m reading.
BRAD STOKES: Yeah, but my neck hurts. And I’m lazy.
NINA APPLEBAUM: You’re too lazy to tilt your head downward?
BRAD STOKES: Don’t ask stupid questions, please.
Jack Hugg climbs the ring steps, switches his title belt from one shoulder to the next and steps into the ring.
BRAD STOKES: He’s going to want to talk, isn’t he?
NINA APPLEBAUM: I’m afraid so, Bradley.
Indeed, Jack Hugg circles the ring before demanding a microphone get tossed to him. One does.
BRAD STOKES: Oh, boy. Here we go. Does anyone even know this guy? And what’s with the title belt?
NINA APPLEBAUM: Maybe he’ll tell us, Bradley?
JACK “THE BEAR” HUGG: Sit down, shut up and hear what I have to say.
BRAD STOKES: Maybe I was wrong about this guy. That’s such a great opening line!
JACK “THE BEAR” HUGG: None of you know me in spite of the fact that every damn AWE event I’m in the back all suited up, ready to wrestle. And yet, every damn AWE event, I’m barely paid, and I’m not given a match. Well that all changes tonight. Sure, when you take a look at the AWE website you’ll see my name and picture under the header: Enhancement Roster. That makes me, according to this piss poor ridiculous federation, what is known as a “jobber”. You folks know what a jobber is?
The crowd responds loudly!
JACK “THE BEAR” HUGG: That’s right. A professional loser. It seems to me the man that just won the Alpha Cup used to be a professional loser once too, and he turned out okay. So, maybe there’s hope for me, yet, huh?
The crowd is mixed.
JACK “THE BEAR” HUGG: Well, let me tell you all something about Jack “The Bear” Hugg. Not only did I invent the Bear Hug finisher, I have been wrestling better talent than they got backstage for over 20 years. And it is a DAMN INSULT to stick the likes of ME on some enhancement roster. You folks hear me in the back?! How about we make um hear us, huh?
The crowd hoots and hollers.
JACK “THE BEAR” HUGG: Shut up. You see this?
He holds up his championship belt, the face of which is difficult to fully make out in the ring lights as it shines, but it’s easy to tell from the face of it that it is an ancient belt, the letters from the federation it once came from have been polished off. Jack holds it up proudly.
JACK “THE BEAR” HUGG: This comes from a wrestling federation that no longer exists. Me? I outlast them all. 2 Heart Attacks, multiple broken bones, a replaced hip and I’m still capable of coming out here as I please and squaring off against the so-called best. This belt proves I’m still a champion. This belt proves I’m not just some enhancement talent. I am STILL Jack “The Bear” Hugg and there ain’t nothing anybody can do about it.
The crowd gives a surprisingly loud pop of recognition!
JACK “THE BEAR” HUGG: But you want to know something? I’m getting tired of being left out in the cold every show. I’m tired of not feeling the heat of the ring lights. I’m TIRED of not beating the hell out of some punk kid to show ‘em who’s still the boss around here. But the bigwigs up in the AWE offices won’t book me in a match. Not old management. Not new management. Don’t let the fanfare fool you, nothing changes, kids. Nothing.
Boos from the crowd.
JACK “THE BEAR” HUGG: Exactly. So I’m going to make my own match. And I’m going to throw this belt on the line. The last piece of my dynasty, right here, for the first kid out there in the audience who thinks he can stand a chance against me. That’s right. I’m talking to anyone of you punks who thinks you can take this old man down, right here, right now!
The crowd gets riled up at the sudden issuance of an open challenge.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Pretty gutsy!
BRAD STOKES: This guy’s like the new Andy Kaufman!
JACK “THE BEAR” HUGG: Is it you?
He points out to a surly looking man.
JACK “THE BEAR” HUGG: Nah, I’ve taken bigger loads of trash to the dump than you. Come on. I’m not above fighting women. I was there when Kaufmann did it, so bring it.
BRAD STOKES: Called it!
JACK “THE BEAR” HUGG: Which one of you Springfielders wants a shot at turning your meaningless lives into something meaningful? Who wants to be a hero, if only for just one night?
Jack parades around the ring looking out into the stands with his arms outstretched looking rather intimidating all of a sudden.
JACK “THE BEAR” HUGG: Anyone? Or are you all scared this old man’s working you into a frenzy just to bust you right back down to earth? Who doesn’t love a good hustle, right?
A wry smile is on his lips as he looks around at the fans, at a sense of deflating aspirations.
JACK “THE BEAR” HUGG: No one, huh?
He holds the strap up high inviting any and all comers, but eyes are cast downwards, arms are folded and Jack’s smile grows.
NINA APPLEBAUM: It’s not looking like anyone’s taking the bait.
BRAD STOKES: Well, I took your advice and looked down at the desk where this guy’s bio is and I don’t blame them. That guy’s wrestled more opponents then we got people in the stands! He’s like Drew Stevenson only still here!
JACK “THE BEAR” HUGG: That’s what I thought. Well, here’s the thing, kids. I’m not leaving this ring until someone steps up to the plate.
Jack slaps the belt back over his shoulder and hoists himself up onto the turnbuckle with a smarmy, shit-eating grin on his face.
BRAD STOKES: That’s going to put a damper on the rest of the night, if we’re being honest.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Why don’t you go fight him? You’re always talking about fighting the wrestlers—
BRAD STOKES: That’s my gimmick, Nina. Plus I’m dressed in layers. It’ll take too long to get undressed. I’m not fighting that guy. It’s not worth the effort.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Suuuuuuure.
The crowd is in a mild uproar, pockets of people are urging the braver, tougher looking elements to take Jack’s challenge, but so far no one is coming forth. Until a man from beyond the cheap seats charges down the arena steps. As he runs he awkwardly shucks off his winter coat and watch cap while manipulating his duffel bag to whichever hand is free.
BRAD STOKES: Who is this, and why is in he in a hurry to take off his clothes?
NINA APPLEBAUM: The man putting you to shame is Tornado Descadenado, the “Tornado Unchained”! He signed with Alpha Wrestling Empire just last week! And from the looks of things he’s here to answer Jack Hugg’s challenge.
BRAD STOKES: I’m not looking down at the desk again, so I’ll take your word for it.
Tornado Desencadenado pauses on one of the landings. The crowd, beginning to realize his intentions, start to cheer the young man on. After nodding to the crowd in appreciation Tornado loops the bag’s strap around his neck and continues his descent while simultaneously removing his shoes.
BRAD STOKES: This dude better watch it or he’s going to break his neck before “The Bear” does it for him.
NINA APPLEBAUM: He’s definitely choosing an interesting moment to debut.
Hopping on one leg, Tornado Desencadenado pries his shoe off one foot, and then switches to the other. Fans are reaching into the aisle now to give him encouraging slaps on the back. He stops moving to fish a pair of wrestling boots from his ruck sack, and then swings it around behind him so he can lace up. The camera cuts to the ring, where a bemused Jack Hugg watches the would-be competitor.
BRAD STOKES: You know, this really isn’t fair; Hugg said he would put his title up against a fan; not someone from the A.W.E. locker room.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Tornado Desencadenado isn’t coming from the A.W.E. locker room, Bradley.
BRAD STOKES: That’s semantics and you know it, Nina.
Having reached the floor level seating of the Convention Center, the eager wrestler works his way through the crowd. He’s stuffed his bag under one arm and now is unbuttoning his dress shirt. More fans surround him, along with a few members of arena security, but Tornado points towards the ring and the man inside it. Realizing this is indeed what “The Bear” asked for the goons back off; allowing TD to leap the guard rail. He rushes towards the ring apron and slides inside. Then, dropping his bag, he removes both his Oxford and undershirt, revealing a set of well-chiseled abs. Hugg speaks into the microphone.
JACK “THE BEAR” HUGG: Well, either someone sent me a Strippergram or you’re here to accept my challenge. Which is it, hoss?
Tornado holds his hand out and asks for the mic, which Jack gives him.
TORNADO DESENCADENADO: Jack Hugg! I watched you wrestle for years. It’s an honor to be in this ring with a veteran like you. My name is Tornado Desencadenado, and yes, I do accept your challenge for the title you’re carrying.
The fans roar throughout the arena! The young buck gestures to the championship belt draped over Hugg’s shoulder, causing the crowd to pop even louder. The older man seems impressed. He rubs his chin in contemplation, and then asks for the mic back.
JACK “THE BEAR” HUGG: I recognize you. You’re the new hire, right? The up and coming ‘blue-chipper’ looking to make a name for himself in the A.W.E.? Well, I’ll tell you what, rook: even though you ain’t exactly what I expected, I’m going to give you your shot.
More cheers from the fans. Tornado nods excitedly, and steps forward to shake Hugg’s hand.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Wow, a little something extra for the fans of Springfield tonight: an impromptu fight between newcomer Tornado Desencadenado and, uh, yeoman wrestler Jack Hugg.
BRAD STOKES: Jobber, Nina. Hugg’s a jobber.
NINA APPLEBAUM: This is just more proof that anything can happen here in the Alpha Wrestling Empire, and –oh no!!!
Jack kicks TD in the junk while their hands are still clasps. Then he levels him with a brutal short-arm clothesline. The people in the arena begin to boo loudly. Smirking, Jack speaks one last time into the microphone.
JACK “THE BEAR” HUGG: By the way: our match? Is unsanctioned!!
Hugg drops the mic and slides his title belt to the nearest ring corner. Then he begins kicking away at his foe’s ribs.
DING! DING! DING!
BRAD STOKES: Ha! Haha! I love it! Hugg suckered this kid. Bet he wishes here still back in the nosebleeds!
NINA APPLEBAUM: This is disgusting! Tornado gave Jack Hugg exactly what he asked for, respect and opportunity, but he blindsides him anyway.
Tornado turtles up to protect his stomach, so Hugg switches targets: putting the boots to his kidneys. He then tries an elbow drop, but TD rolls out of the way. Furious, Hugg rises and runs the ropes. On the rebound he launches his opponent out of the ring with a baseball slide.
BRAD STOKES: Cry if you want to, but it’s not as though Hugg is cheating. Like he said, the match is unsanctioned. That means anything goes!!
Hugg grabs the bottom rope and uses it to pull himself outside. Meanwhile, Tornado has gotten up to his hands and knees. Jack tries to kick him in the face, but gets spun hard to the floor by a dragon screw leg whip. Rising to his feet, Tornado glares down at his opponent. TD stomps over to Hugg, Herks him up, and flings him to the apron. He follows that up with several forearm strikes. Hugg fights back, again going after Desencadenado’s ribs with a knee to the gut. He puts TD in a front face lock. After a couple more blows to his foe’s stomach, “The Bear” lifts and pushes him into the ring.
NINA APPLEBAUM: A brief rally there by Tornado, but Jack Hugg is back in control.
BRAD STOKES: I was hard on the guy earlier, but Hugg impresses me so far. He’s taking this smug little opportunist to school.
Hugg enters the ring through the steps, pausing to pick up his title belt. The delay allows Tornado to get to a vertical base. After taking time to measure his man, Jack rushes at him with the heavy gold strap raised high. TD ducks under the strike and then “ole’s “ Hugg to the corner. The vet slams into the turnbuckle hard, dropping his title. When he turns he gets hit by a clothesline. Grabbing the ropes on either side of the ringpost, the A.W.E. newcomer rams his shoulder repeatedly into Hugg’s midsection. After Jack’s legs give out and he collapses to a seated position, Tornado backs out of the corner, only to rush in again and crush Hugg against the post with a cannonball senton.
BRAD STOKES: Knew it was too good to last.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Tornado Desencadenado is showing remarkable resiliency and speed here. I can see why he was hired.
BRAD STOKES: Yeah, yeah: let’s see how he does against someone who’s won a match this century before praising the guy.
Invigorated by the crowd’s approval, Tornado pulls Hugg up and flings him out of the corner with a deadlift gutwrench suplex. He then clambers up to the second turnbuckle and waits for Jack to stand. When the veteran rises he leaps and tries for a DDT; only to get hit again below the belt by a well-placed kick from Jack Hugg. Tornado drops like a stone. A still woozy looking Hugg tiredly taps his own temple, letting the crowd know he outsmarted his challenger once again.
BRAD STOKES: Yeah! “The Bear” was playing possum!
NINA APPLEBAUM: He definitely had that move scouted, and knew how to counter it.
BRAD STOKES: It just goes to show you experience does matter in this sport.
Hugg pulls Tornado up and wraps him up in the move he claims to have innovated. He lifts the smaller man off the ground and rag dolls him, before pressing his brow against Tornado’s sternum. The additional pressure torques his back even more, causing TD to cry out in pain.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Jack Hugg has Tornado at his mercy here. This could be over.
BRAD STOKES: Oh, it’s definitely over, Nina. There’s no way that punk’s escaping the hold Jack Hugg invented.
NINA APPLEBAUM: He didn’t invent the bear hug, Bradley.
BRAD STOKES: Oh, and you know he did?
NINA APPLEBAUM: Most likely it was an actual bear.
BRAD STOKES: Nice! So you CAN be funny.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Yep, but only when you stop talking.
BRAD STOKES: Another zinger, folks!
Finally, after herculean effort, Tornado Desencadenado is able to free one of his arms. He repeatedly bashes an elbow into the side of Hugg's head until he is forced to relinquish the hold. "The Bear" stumbles away while TD slumps to the canvass.
NINA APPLEBAUM: He did it! Tornado Desencadenado escaped.
BRAD STOKES: It’s a last gasp, Nina. Look at him, the kid’s done.
Hugg seems to think so too, because he confidently strides back over to his downed challenger. He lifts TD again, but Tornado shrugs free and connects with a roundhouse kick to the jaw. Hugg is stunned, and TD takes advantage of the opening; lifting Jack onto his shoulders for an airplane spin. He keeps Hugg up there for at least a dozen turns, before dropping him onto his knees with a gutbuster. Hugg flops over, and Tornado instinctively makes the cover.
CROWD: One! Two! Three!
The timekeeper, also by reflex, rings the bell.
DING! DING! DING!
Tornado Desencadenado staggers to his feet, and raises both arms in triumph. He goes to the nearest corner and climbs to the top turnbuckle. During the celebration a depressed and disgraced Jack Hugg rolls out of the ring and makes his way to the back. Tornado notices, and then notices what “The Bear” has left behind. He hops down from the ringpost and goes to pick up Hugg’s title belt. The fans cheer loudly. Tornado looks at the belt, and then out at the arena seats. Hesitantly, he holds the championship up over his head, leading to another loud pop.
NINA APPLEBAUM: He did it! Tornado Desencadenado has beaten Jack Hugg, and can now claim the title Hugg was carrying.
BRAD STOKES: Which means what, exactly? It was an unsanctioned match against a jobber for a title Alpha Wrestling doesn’t recognize. This whole thing was a huge waste of everyone’s time.
NINA APPLEBAUM: The fans here in the Prairie Capital Convention Center enjoyed it. And I’m sure it’s a night Tornado Desencadenado won’t forget.
As the camera zooms in to get a close up of Tornado as he examines the championship belt he’s holding, Sunday Night Massacre goes to commercial.
Are you tired of costly Home Repairs mired by setbacks?
Image of a do-it-yourselfer having trouble prying a bent nail from a 2 X 4.
Difficulty opening jars?
An elderly woman struggles with the lid on a mason jar full of pickles.
Wish there was an easier way?
Both the do-it-yourselfer and the eldery woman nod to the camera. We cut to a handsome Australian guy in a bright blue, homely sweater looking into the camera!
AUSTRALIAN GUY: Well, now there is!
PRO GRAP 3000!
PRO GRAP 3000!
PRO GRAP 3000!
The words echo bold and deeply as images of the amazing Pro Grap 3000 flash on screen from different angles before we find ourselves alongside a studio audience where our Australian guy and his straight man marketing friend stands behind a display table where tons of objects are set up and ready.
You’ve seen this program before: It’s an infomercial.
MARKETING GUY: Hi, I’m Todd Gack, and with me is the inventor of a million ideas: Danny Rasmussen.
Danny, the Australian guy with a killer accent, smiles.
DANNY RASMUSSEN: That’s right, Todd. I’m here with yet another good idea! It’s the Pro Grap 3000!
He holds it up. It’s amazing.
TODD GACK: Pardon me for saying so, Danny, but it looks kind of strange.
Danny laughs.
DANNY RASMUSSEN: I’m sure it does, Todd. All great ideas look strange at first. Say, would you open that bottle of soda for me? I’m parched.
Danny motions to a bottle of unmarked soda. Todd shrugs amicably before lifting the bottle and struggling to open it. He gives some serious effort, but the cap won’t budge! Todd looks apologetically to Danny.
TODD GACK: I’m… I… can’t.
DANNY RASMUSSEN: Allow me.
He handles the Pro Grap 3000 expertly, extends the arm, grips the bottle cap and effortlessly opens the cap. The crowd claps as Todd is amazed.
TODD GACK: Wow! That’s amazing! How did you do that?
CROWD: PRO GRAP 3000!
DANNY RASMUSSEN: *chuckles* It’s simple, Todd. Anything is, really, with the right pro grap. See. I just inserted the cap into a front facelock position, twist, and voila. Bottle cap open!
CROWD: PRO GRAP 3000!
Todd is amazed.
TODD GACK: Unbelievable. Danny, you’ve done it again. But what else does it do?
Danny is so cheerful you just want t punch him if this wasn’t something so amazing.
DANNY RASMUSSEN: The proper question, Todd, is what doesn’t it do? See that loose nail over there?
Todd turns to see a nail bent and sticking out of a wall.
TODD GACK: That looks dangerous! Someone didn’t do a very good job putting our studio together!
DANNY RASMUSSEN: Not to worry, Todd. Not with the Pro Grap 3000.
Todd and the crowd looks on as Danny grips the nail with the head of the Pro Grap 3000 and removes the nail! The crowd pops so freaking loud!
CROWD: PRO GRAP 3000!
DANNY RASMUSSEN: Anything’s easy with Pro Graps. You just put the nail into a rear waistlock, pull and bam, no more loose nail!
CROWD: PRO GRAP 3000!
DANNY RASMUSSEN: And there’s more! Can’t reach the top shelf?
He points to a jar on a high shelf.
DANNY RASMUSSEN: You put the Pro Grap into position for a belly-to-back, pull and VOILA. You just reached the top. How about that?
The crowd claps!
TODD GACK: What a handy tool! How much does a thing like that cost?
DANNY RASMUSSEN: Well, Todd, I can’t just GIVE the Pro Grap 3000 away.
CROWD: Awwwwwww.
DANNY RASMUSSEN: I know. But I am PRACTICALLY giving it away, cause everyone needs quality pro graps in their life. How’s a price like… Mmmm, I dunno… 50 dollars sound?
CROWD: BOOOOO!
TODD GACK: You’re going to have to go lower than that, Danny!
Danny chuckles!
DANNY RASMUSSEN: All right! But I can’t go much lower than say… $39.95!
The crowd claps. Todd is so impressed.
TODD GACK: That’s amazing!
DANNY RASMUSSEN: But wait, there’s more!
The crowd claps!
DANNY RASMUSSEN: Order your Pro Grap 3000 today, I’ll even through in a set of portable Pro Graps for free! How’s that sound?
He holds up the portable Pro Graps for everyone to OOh and AAh over.
MARKETING GUY: Hi, I’m Todd Gack, and with me is the inventor of a million ideas: Danny Rasmussen.
Danny, the Australian guy with a killer accent, smiles.
DANNY RASMUSSEN: That’s right, Todd. I’m here with yet another good idea! It’s the Pro Grap 3000!
He holds it up. It’s amazing.
TODD GACK: Pardon me for saying so, Danny, but it looks kind of strange.
Danny laughs.
DANNY RASMUSSEN: I’m sure it does, Todd. All great ideas look strange at first. Say, would you open that bottle of soda for me? I’m parched.
Danny motions to a bottle of unmarked soda. Todd shrugs amicably before lifting the bottle and struggling to open it. He gives some serious effort, but the cap won’t budge! Todd looks apologetically to Danny.
TODD GACK: I’m… I… can’t.
DANNY RASMUSSEN: Allow me.
He handles the Pro Grap 3000 expertly, extends the arm, grips the bottle cap and effortlessly opens the cap. The crowd claps as Todd is amazed.
TODD GACK: Wow! That’s amazing! How did you do that?
CROWD: PRO GRAP 3000!
DANNY RASMUSSEN: *chuckles* It’s simple, Todd. Anything is, really, with the right pro grap. See. I just inserted the cap into a front facelock position, twist, and voila. Bottle cap open!
CROWD: PRO GRAP 3000!
Todd is amazed.
TODD GACK: Unbelievable. Danny, you’ve done it again. But what else does it do?
Danny is so cheerful you just want t punch him if this wasn’t something so amazing.
DANNY RASMUSSEN: The proper question, Todd, is what doesn’t it do? See that loose nail over there?
Todd turns to see a nail bent and sticking out of a wall.
TODD GACK: That looks dangerous! Someone didn’t do a very good job putting our studio together!
DANNY RASMUSSEN: Not to worry, Todd. Not with the Pro Grap 3000.
Todd and the crowd looks on as Danny grips the nail with the head of the Pro Grap 3000 and removes the nail! The crowd pops so freaking loud!
CROWD: PRO GRAP 3000!
DANNY RASMUSSEN: Anything’s easy with Pro Graps. You just put the nail into a rear waistlock, pull and bam, no more loose nail!
CROWD: PRO GRAP 3000!
DANNY RASMUSSEN: And there’s more! Can’t reach the top shelf?
He points to a jar on a high shelf.
DANNY RASMUSSEN: You put the Pro Grap into position for a belly-to-back, pull and VOILA. You just reached the top. How about that?
The crowd claps!
TODD GACK: What a handy tool! How much does a thing like that cost?
DANNY RASMUSSEN: Well, Todd, I can’t just GIVE the Pro Grap 3000 away.
CROWD: Awwwwwww.
DANNY RASMUSSEN: I know. But I am PRACTICALLY giving it away, cause everyone needs quality pro graps in their life. How’s a price like… Mmmm, I dunno… 50 dollars sound?
CROWD: BOOOOO!
TODD GACK: You’re going to have to go lower than that, Danny!
Danny chuckles!
DANNY RASMUSSEN: All right! But I can’t go much lower than say… $39.95!
The crowd claps. Todd is so impressed.
TODD GACK: That’s amazing!
DANNY RASMUSSEN: But wait, there’s more!
The crowd claps!
DANNY RASMUSSEN: Order your Pro Grap 3000 today, I’ll even through in a set of portable Pro Graps for free! How’s that sound?
He holds up the portable Pro Graps for everyone to OOh and AAh over.
The crowd cheers!
TODD GACK: I think you have another winner, Danny!
CROWD: PRO GRAP 3000!
Danny and Todd smile as we cut to the announcer/product screen.
ANNOUNCER: Call now for the Pro Grap 3000 exclusive deal! Also available in K-Mart!
"Country Fine" James Radford & Anastasia Hayden VS. Aaron Pace & Dom DiBona
Coming back to the ring, Anastasia Hayden is seen mockingly bowing out of the ring and allowing James Radford to kick off the tag team match while on the other side, Dom DiBona and Aaron Pace have a brief silent staredown before Pace steps out onto the ring apron.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Welcome back, ladies and germs.
BRAD STOKES: Will you stop with that?
NINA APPLEBAUM: I’m just doing what you do.
BRAD STOKES: Well, stop it.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Have it your way. We’re back, and it appears, at least at first glance that each of these teams is on agreeable terms.
BRAD STOKES: For now. This match is a powderkeg, though. Mark my words. Someone will die here, Nina. If not, I’ve got snipers set up around the building.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Our broadcasting rights are slipping away, Bradley.
DING! DING! DING!
Radford and DiBona shake one another’s hand before backing up and circling the ring. They meet again in the center in a collar-and-elbow hold. It’s obvious that Radford has the size advantage, but they both fight back and forth for the back position.
NINA APPLEBAUM: These two have squared off before, with Dom coming out on top.
BRAD STOKES: But these are entirely different circumstances. And don’t forget: The snipers. That’ll keep them in check.
There’s a few seconds of struggling before James gets behind Dom, but a sharp elbow to the side of the head dazes James, allowing for a big Pele kick right out of the gate to drop him. Radford isn’t on the ground for long though because as soon as DiBona turns back around, he eats a lariat that turns him inside out. Quickly trying to capitalize, Radford goes for a pin.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Quick pin attempt by Radford here!
It’s barely even a one count before Dom gets his shoulder up off the mat. James keeps his grip on Dom and as he picks him back up, they tie up again in another collar-and-elbow. This time, James forces Dom back into the corner and drops his hand from DiBona’s elbow to hit the Paramount Champion with a series of punches to the side of his ribs. It’s just enough to force Dom to release his hold and James delivers a brutal sounding chop across the champ’s chest. As Radford hits another chop, the crowd starts to divide between “Let’s Go Radford” and “DiBona” chants.
BRAD STOKES: This crowd is full of marks, dammit.
NINA APPLEBAUM: They’re stalwart AWE fans, Bradley. They’re responsible for putting this company on the map.
Rearing up for a third chop, James gets cut off by a quick leg kick from Dom that stops him in his tracks. DiBona pops his feet up on the bottom rope to give him the perfect position for a springboard arm drag attempt that sends the Alpha Cup winner across the ring. While Radford is back on his feet, he gets thrown down with a second arm drag and then a third one before Dom connects with a beautiful dropkick.
NINA APPLEBAUM: The Paramount Champion never ceases to impress with his agility and ring awareness. He looks like he’s been doing this for years.
BRAD STOKES: Sure, fill the airwaves with fake information.
NINA APPLEBAUM: I didn’t—
BRAD STOKES: Every time you tell a lie, an angel dies, all right?
Dom lifts James up and puts him into his corner, looking for the tag from Aaron Pace. Pace looks unsure about tagging in despite DiBona’s hand being right in front of him, but he reluctantly tags in. Once he gets into the ring, Aaron picks up where Dom left off, driving his shoulder into Radford’s abdomen.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Nice team work, so far, between Aaron Pace and Dom DiBona.
BRAD STOKES: It’s all part of the masterplan, Nina. That, or my snipers open fire. Indiscriminately.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Will you stop threatening us with a mass shooting?
BRAD STOKES: Whoa. Chill out, hey? I’m just painting a picture with words here. Ixnay on the Ass-May Hooting Shay, all right? You want to get sued?
Theo Refano starts counting and Aaron is quick to back off. Once he’s cleared, Aaron steps right back up, but James connects with a forearm and then another. With Pace stunned, Radford grabs ahold of him and drives him to the mat with a neckbreaker.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Aaron Pace proving why he earned that number one contendership shot.
James looks up toward his partner, but Anastasia doesn’t seem all that interested in the match. It’s not until Radford calls out his name that she finally looks at him as he starts crawling toward her. Hayden reaches out as far as she can and just as James leaps for the tag, she pulls her hand back out. Before Radford can look up at Ana in disgust, Pace is back in it as he wraps his arms around Radford’s waist and surprises everyone with a deadlift German suplex!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Aaron recovers to hook Radford’s leg
1…
2…
THR—
BRAD STOKES: Kickout by Radford!
Aaron is up to his feet, looking to argue with referee Theo, but backs away to try and keep his cool. The Paramount number one contender tries to pick up James, but gets blasted with a haymaker to the jaw. Radford is slow to get back up, but when he does, he’s able to continue with his momentum and send Pace off the ropes. James goes off the ropes as well and connects with a shoulder tackle in the center of the ring and attempts a lateral press pin
1…
TW--
NINA APPLEBAUM: Kickout!
With both men on the mat, they each start crawling to their own corners, looking to make the tag. Dom gets the crowd rallying behind him as Ana continues to zone out. Radford has to use the ropes to get himself back up as he tags Hayden in. As she steps into the ring, Ana looks absolutely disgusted with James, but unbeknownst to her, Aaron tagged in Dom DiBona! Catching her by surprise in a waist lock, DiBona launches Hayden over his head with a German suplex, but she lands on her feet. Dom ducks a clothesline attempt from Ana and continues running off the ropes, coming back with a hurricanrana that sends Ana sliding out of the ring.
NINA APPLEBAUM: On one side of the ring, the tag-team dynamic seems to be working, while Ana Hayden and Radford don’t appear to be on the same page.
DiBona keeps it rolling as he launches off one side of the ropes and tries for a suicide dive attempt, but Hayden is ready as she uses the apron to lift up for an enziguri that catches Dom right in the middle of his dive. With Dom draped over the middle rope, Ana climbs onto the apron and drives her boot up right into his face multiple times. Leaping over the top rope, Hayden pulls DiBona out from the ropes and hooks his arms for a bridging Tiger suplex
1…
2…
THR—
NINA APPLEBAUM: Kickout by Dom DiBona!
Ana looks frustrated with the count as she slaps the mat. But instead of complaining to Theo Refano, she instead walks over to her corner and tags in a recovering James Radford, yelling “Finish it, golden boy” at him. Radford isn’t pleased with the result, but steps into the ring regardless. Picking Dom up off the mat, James lifts him up and drops him back down with a sidewalk slam.
BRAD STOKES: The patented country strength of James Radford. It’s devastating, Nina.
The champ manages to get back up to his feet and stumbles back into his corner, allowing Radford the perfect opportunity to run at him and leap for the Rebel Yell, but DiBona gets out of the way!
NINA APPLEBAUM: No one’s home for that one!
James hits turnbuckle and as he turns around, Dom hits a dropkick that causes Radford to knock Aaron Pace off the apron. DiBona looks over the ropes to check on his partner, but quickly turns around to focus back on Radford. James is still stunned from the dropkick and that allows for Dom to hit a backstabber that sends the Alpha Cup winner down to the mat.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Nice focus and recovery by Dom DiBona! We’re seeing exactly why he stands atop the Paramount Division right now!
Pace is back up on the apron and is holding his hand out for the tag this time as DiBona is ready to bring him in. However just before Dom makes the tag, Aaron grabs Dom by the head and brings him out of the ring, crashing down onto the outside.
BRAD STOKES: Wuh oh.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Disagreement between Aaron Pace and Dom DiBona has turned violent.
BRAD STOKES: It was probably just an accident.
It definitely wasn’t an accident as Pace hops down and picks DiBona up, tossing him right into the side of the ring, following up with a series of stomps on the downed champion.
NINA APPLEBAUM: That truce was short-lived!
Inside the ring, Theo Refano has no other choice, but to call for the bell and award the match to Anastasia Hayden and James Radford!
DING! DING! DING!
The crowd boos as Pace continues to beat down DiBona, but it turns to cheers as Bang Bang Bindy runs down to ringside and pulls Aaron off of Dom.
NINA APPLEBAUM: What’s Bindy doing out here?
BRAD STOKES: She’s coming to see me!
The cameras pick up her yelling at Pace, “THIS IS NOT HOW WE BE GOOD, AARON!”
Upon looking at Bindy a moment of slowly changing expression on Aaron’s face, Aaron steps back from Dom, as if rethinking his current string of action….
BRAD STOKES: Why… it’s like Aaron Pace’s heart is growing three sizes before our very eyes!!
Aaron blinks, looks down at Dom, then back to the pleading, earnest look of Bindy and nods a quiet assent and exits the ringside with Bindy.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Unexpected turn of events here fans.
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: Here are your winners… by disqualification…. Anastasia Hayden and James Radfordddddd!
Cutting back to James Radford and Anastasia Hayden, both competitors are having their hand raised by Theo. As James celebrates with the crowd, he turns back and Anastasia hits him with the Magnolia Knee!
BRAD STOKES: WHOA! GOTEM!!!
The audience instantly goes back to booing as the bicycle knee dropped Radford to the canvas. And she’s not done yet as she looks up toward the entrance to see Cosmo Cooper and Trevor Miller making their way down to the ring.
BRAD STOKES: More incoming!
NINA APPLEBAUM: I’m not sure WHY they’re here, but that’s newly signed Paramount Division members Cosmo Cooper and Trevor Miller!!
Once they roll in, they start stomping away at the downed James Radford. With all the chaos happening in the ring, another figure runs down into the ring.
BRAD STOKES: Who is that?!
NINA APPLEBAUM: It’s Bryan Williams!
BRAD STOKES: What?? Leviathan himself?!
The boyfriend of Anastasia Hayden slides into the ring and confronts her. It’s obvious he isn’t pleased with what’s happening as Cosmo and Trevor hold James down. There’s a bit of a heated argument between the two before Bryan turns to Cosmo and Trevor, yelling at them to help James up to his feet. Miller and Cooper do just that, allowing Radford to get back on his feet as Bryan goes over to check on him.
BRAD STOKES: Ha. Bryan Williams here to straighten things out. What a wuss. This is just one more reason why Ana should lose that guy and get with the StokesMachine.
But as he does, Bryan just throws James toward Ana for her to hit She Was Only Seventeen! Bryan and Trevor start stomping on the downed Radford again as Cosmo hands Anastasia a microphone to the roar of hatred from the crowd.
ANA HAYDEN: I’m going to keep this very short, sweet, and simple because apparently the message I’ve been trying to get across is too difficult for you idiots to understand. When Anastasia Hayden makes a promise...she keeps it. I said I was going to embarrass Radford and AWE. And I kept that promise. Not at Executive Action, no, no...not where I was screwed out of the Alpha Cup!
The booing continues and as Ana waits for it to die down before speaking, she delivers her own swift stomp to James.
NINA APPLEBAUM: This is despicable.
ANA HAYDEN: So instead, I had to do it tonight. And when I said I was going to destroy AWE, you’re all witnessing the start of it! James and AWE management may have won the battle at Executive Action, but WE will win this war. And WE won’t stop until AWE is dead and buried. So if there are any white knights in the back wanting to come out and do something, you’re more than welcomed to step into the ring and join James Radford.
BRAD STOKES: You heard her, Nina. Step up.
NINA APPLEBAUM: No!
BRAD STOKES: Bwock, bwock!
James lays in a heap while Cosmo, Trevor, and Bryan all stand around him. Bryan seems to direct something towards the two standing next to him, the two quickly heading out of the ring and towards the back. Bryan stands there, looming over James Radford, as Ana looks on. The crowd doesn’t seem to understand, booing still at the actions that have taken place. Soon enough though Cosmo and Trevor emerge from the back, wearing Generation Now t-shirts.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Generation Now?!
BRAD STOKES: It’s some Pepsi thing, I guess.
NINA APPLEBAUM: No, it’s a stable, Bradley. This can NOT be good for the AWE! Do your research!
Bryan smirks, as Cosmo runs back towards the ring. He tosses a shirt to Ana, while Trevor quickly follows behind him. Bryan takes the mic, and a quick kiss, from Ana as he prepares to speak.
BRYAN WILLIAMS: I’ve had AWE on my radar for a long time now, I’ve stayed in the shadows watching everything go on. I have my reasons for tonight, for unifying these three talented people under Gen Now ...but I feel like somebody else has something to say here.
BRAD STOKES: He better not mean me. I mean I can, but I have nothing prepared.
The crowd, still booing, watches as Trevor Miller steps up. He looks down at the microphone being offered to him, and slowly takes it away from Bryan.
BRAD STOKES: Whew, dodged a bullet there. That’s not a cue to the snipers, by the way.
NINA APPLEBAUM: SHUT UP!
TREVOR MILLER: It wasn’t long ago that Bryan found me, and Cosmo, training away at a gym in Boston. He saw the potential in us, and saw how we were wasting away. He saw how we weren’t being used properly. I knew it myself, I just could never get the backing to do what I wanted. What you see here is a collection of the most talented WRESTLERS on the AWE roster. What you see here is a force to be reckoned with, a storm that’s brewing in the distance. I am not waiting any longer, Cosmo is not waiting any longer, because our time is NOW!
Behind Miller, Cosmo is nodding along with every word. Trevor, staring intently into the camera, offers the microphone up. Bryan steps in, patting Trevor on the back as he takes it from him.
BRYAN WILLIAMS: I couldn’t have said it better myself, because the time is most certainly now. The time to make an impact, the time to show the world what we’ve got. We cannot make our mark by hiding in the darkness, people. James Radford thought he could take away Ana’s spot, but I’m here to make sure that nobody in Generation Now is EVER overlooked again. I’ve faced my failures, and I’ll be damned if the same thing happens to these three.
Bryan calmly drops the microphone, turning his attention again towards Radford. James doesn’t move much, but he is easily picked up off of the mat by Bryan. Bryan has a few choice words for him, quickly lifting him up and planting him with the CTE! As everyone rolls out of the ring, Cosmo gets one last stomp in, shouting a long “YOOO!” over the beaten James Radford before making his own exit. The four wrestlers walk to the back to the roar of boos from the crowd.
NINA APPLEBAUM: A rather stunning introduction to Gen Now for James Radford.
BRAD STOKES: They just put the entire AWE on notice, Nina.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Bryan Williams is a force to be reckoned with in his own right. His appearance alone is enough to send a message. Now he’s united some new talent AND the AWE’s self-described MVP Ana Hayden under one banner.
BRAD STOKES: Gonna be rough for anyone else now. But it’s a dog-eat-dog world now.
NINA APPLEBAUM: It may very well be. We’ll take you now backstage where there’s some sort of commotion going on.
The cameras go outside the building to respond to the commotion. It quickly becomes clear what’s going on as loud speakers are blasting “Panama” by Van Halen as a familiar Ferrari Testarossa 512 TR is spinning brodies in the parking lot. It’s bad ass. The Ferrari’s tires are smoking--leaving long trails of white wisps as it goes.
It would be that much more badass had they been able to actually afford to get Eddie Van Halen to come play the song, but it’s ok.
The Ferrari comes to a stop and the engine dies as the Resilience Champion steps out of the driver’s side door. His special lady friend, Erica Bragg, exits the passenger side door with the Resilience Championship in her hands. Erica throws the Resilience Championship over her shoulder as the two take each other’s hand and head up the steps to the arena. The music dies down as they pass the cameras.
DARE CLEMMENS: Just in time for my match with Dom Lawson, folks. Would I let you down?
ERICA BRAGG: Actually we’re quite late, but as that old cliche goes, better late than never.
DARE CLEMMENS: Right on time! See you inside. Lawson’s about to pay for...whatever that Tarot thing was.
It would be that much more badass had they been able to actually afford to get Eddie Van Halen to come play the song, but it’s ok.
The Ferrari comes to a stop and the engine dies as the Resilience Champion steps out of the driver’s side door. His special lady friend, Erica Bragg, exits the passenger side door with the Resilience Championship in her hands. Erica throws the Resilience Championship over her shoulder as the two take each other’s hand and head up the steps to the arena. The music dies down as they pass the cameras.
DARE CLEMMENS: Just in time for my match with Dom Lawson, folks. Would I let you down?
ERICA BRAGG: Actually we’re quite late, but as that old cliche goes, better late than never.
DARE CLEMMENS: Right on time! See you inside. Lawson’s about to pay for...whatever that Tarot thing was.
Dom Lawson VS. Dare Clemmens (c)
NINA APPLEBAUM: Earlier it seemed like there was a chance that Dare Clemmens may not make it for his title defence.
BRAD STOKES: Yeah, but never fear. He may be fashionably late, but he’s here. Did you see that sweet piece he was with??
NINA APPLEBAUM: That is, from what I hear, Erica Bragg, she—
BRAD STOKES: The car, Nina. The damn car. Get your damn mind out of the gutter. Holy shit. You embarrass me.
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: Ladies and Gentleman may I direct your attention to the ring for our Main Event of the evening. It is a Resilience Championship match. In this corner, the challenger…
Dom Lawson looks determined and ready for violence as he rolls his neck.
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: Standing six foot three and weighing two hundred and thirty pounds… he is THE LAW… DOMINIC…. LAWWWWWWSON!
The crowd pops! They know this guy. For all of his tough talk and cut-corners attitude, he’s managed to develop a groundswell of a fanbase that ripples loudly through the crowd in support of the bruiser from Boston, by way of Belfast.
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: And his opponent… the Resilience Champion… standing six foot even… and one hundred and ninety pounds… he is… DARE…. CLEMMENNNNNSSSS!!!
The crowd pops loudly as Dare lifts his arm.
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: LET’S GET READY TO WRESTLLLLEEE!
NINA APPLEBAUM: This one’s been slow-burning for 2 weeks, if not longer. Dom Lawson’s taken his licks, dished some out, and here he stands poised to end Dare’s title reign before it begins.
BRAD STOKES: And me without my appropriate weapons to take that bastard down!
NINA APPLEBAUM: I thought you were over that?
BRAD STOKES: It lays dormant, Nina. Like a bear. Or locusts. Yeah, I like locusts. Every 28 years or whatever. Like that creeper from the Jeepers Creepers thing. Just SEEING Dom Lawson makes me angry. Gonna eat his face.
DING! DING! DING!
Dare and Dom swing out of their respective corners, focused and looking ready for a fight.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Tony Chu seems pleased his client’s back.
At ringside, the dapper “Agent to the Stars” stands stoic and silent watching as Dare and Dom go for a quick tie-up which Dom gets the upper hand of as he overpowers Dare and drives him back into the corner. Backing up, but maintaining pressure on Dare’s chest, Dom slams a reverberating backhanded smack into Dare’s chest that stuns the champion enough for Dom to deliver another right to the side of Dare’s face!
NINA APPLEBAUM: A lot of force behind those backhands by Dom Lawson.
BRAD STOKES: Like Dare owes him money!
Dom methodically backs away only to drive an elbow hard and awkward into Dare’s chin that keeps the champion trapped in the corner as Dom slowly, but surely goes to work on some shoulder thrusts into Dare’s midsection, but before Dom can get comfortable, Dare is quickly up and over Dom and into a surprise sunset flip!
1…
TW--
NINA APPLEBAUM: Dom Lawson wasn’t expecting that!
Dare is quick to his feet dishing out his own series of quick jabs at Dom Lawson, but Lawson isn’t one to lose ground, surprising Dare with a series of call and response shots before Lawson slams his knee into Dare’s midsection and takes him down with a painful snap DDT!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Dom Lawson with the cover!
1…
TW—
NINA APPLEBAUM: Kickout by Dare Clemmens! This won’t be an easy match for either of these two.
BRAD STOKES: Do I still have my snipers? talks into some random makeshift headset I don’t. Shit. Ah well. You got lucky this time, Lawson!
Dom drags Dare to his feet and whips him for the ropes and on the return Lawson is surprised by a sudden Dare Clemmens Shining Wizard! Lawson is down and Dare seems hyped and pumped enough to leap onto the turnbuckle to unleash a dazzling shooting star press! HE goes for the cover!
1…
2…
THR---
NINA APPLEBAUM: Dom kicks out! Nice back and forth so far!
Dare drags Dom up to his feet and unleashes some quick kung fu kick and punch combos to keep Dom off guard before snapping him to the canvas with a snap suplex!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Another quick cover!
Theo Refano slides in to make the count, but points Dare’s attention to Lawson’s leg on the bottom rope. Dare is up on his feet trying t work his charm on Theo Refano as Dom shakes off the earlier offense and rises to a knee. As Dare turns, Dom slams a thrusting knee strike to catch him off guard! Dom doesn’t rest on one, he slams Dare with multiple rising knees before dropping Dare with a harsh shoulder block!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Dom Lawson in control now!
With Dare down, Dom seems to rub his eyes as if they’re bothering him. He moves to the corner. Theo Refano moves to check on him. Dom motions to Dare as though Dare put something in his eyes. Theo Refano instantly moves to Dare to admonish him, leaving Dom to loosen the turnbuckle pad.
BRAD STOKES: THAT LAWSON! DAMN HIM! WHERE ARE MY SNIPERS?!
NINA APPLEBAUM: The Law proves, again and again, just how resourceful he is at turning the tides of a match in his favor.
BRAD STOKES: But he’s cheating!
NINA APPLEBAUM: You don’t seem to mind when it’s someone you favor.
BRAD STOKES: This is different. Dom Lawson and I are bitter enemies.
With turnbuckle pad safely removed and Theo Refano blind to all of it. Dom rips Dare up to his feet and slams several thrusting strikes into Dare before whipping him hard for the exposed turnbuckle pad where Dare’s back collides painfully!
NINA APPLEBAUM: That’s going to leave a mark!
Dom is enjoying watching Dare squirm in the corner as he gains some space and charges and SPLASHES Dare hard into the corner, just working that exposed turnbuckle into Dare’s back! And Dom isn’t done. He slams some shoulder thrusts into Dare’s mid section before yanking him out of the corner and SLAMMING him hard once more against the lack of padding!
BRAD STOKES: While I like the violence. I can’t stand this guy. He’s my enemy, and yet… also the man who is most like me. It’s weird, hey? It’s almost like I hate myself, but that can’t be.
NINA APPLEBAUM: While Brad Stokes psychoanalyzes himself, Dom Lawson has taken firm control of this match!
Stiff strikes have Dare Clemmens reeling before Dom slams a hard knee once more into Dare’s midsection and whips him out of the corner onto the canvas! With an arrogant one-finger salute out to the crowd, Dom climbs the trurnbuckle and motions to a dropping elbow… And away he goes!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Dom’s Bringing Down the LAW!
The elbow lands with a vicious ferocity, And Dom quickly hooks the leg as the crowd is on its feet! Theo Refano slides in then stops before beginning the count as he draws Dom’s attention to the bottom rope, where Dare has managed to rest his foot.
BRAD STOKES: That’s a weird role reversal.
Dom is livid as he rises to his feet and gets in Refano’s face, arguing with the intimidated official giving Dare Clemmens some time to rise to a knee and recover.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Dom better not spend too much time disputing that lack of a count, or he’s bound to let this match slip through his fingers.
BRAD STOKES: Which is weird cause this is probably exactly what I would have done. This is getting eerie.
Dom turns just in time to see Dare rising to his feet and and scout a flying punch coming right at him! Dom deftly dodges the strike, letting Dare catch his balance behind him and Dare swings a discus punch for Dare that the champion narrowly avoids and quickly gets some space between he and Dom to open the fight back up. But Dom isn’t having it! He rushes Dare quickly, getting in close, and slams into him with a series of forearms and punches before aiming to unload a roundhouse kick that Dare ducks as the crowd pops amidst the two men’s flurry of activity and hectic counters! Dare locks Dom into an unexpected suplex clutch that Dom stalls and pushes his way out of, staggering Dare backwards. Dom rushes him and catches Dare off-guard with a leaping shoulder block that flattens Dare to the canvas, but surprises Dom with an energetic kip back up to a stand!
NINA APPLEBAUM: The level of intensity these two are working with right now is impressive!
BRAD STOKES: That’s EXACTLY what’s been saidfabout me, Nina. This is weird shit. You ever seen Stranger Things? Spooky. Like what’s going on here with me and Lawson.
NINA APPLEBAUM: That is entirely in your own mind.
BRAD STOKES: Even weirder.
Dom slams a forearm into Dare and aims for an irish whip into the corner with the exposed turnbuckle. Dare pounds the ring boards before exhilerhating the crowd by running his way up the ropes, avoiding Dom’s trap and acrobatically rushing out of the corner at Dom with a diving side kick! But Lawson dodges, catches Dare from Behind and swings him back with a German suplex! The only problem being Dare works with his own momentum and backward sommersaults out of the suplex and skids across the ring to safety. Dom is angrily back to his feet, all the effort is clearly not what what he wanted, but his level of intensity refuses to go down! He charges Dare who awkwardly stumbles to his feet, plants them and SLAMS high impact side thrust kick right to Lawson’s jaw that spins Dom around and topples him to the canvas!
NINA APPLEBAUM: SHOOT TO THRILL! OUT OF NOWHERE! DARE WITH THE COVER!
1..
2…
3!!!
DING! DING! DING!
“Suburbia” by Kavinsky kicks in as Dare struggles to his feet as the crowd pops.
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: Here is your winner, and STILL Resilience Champion… DARE… CLEMMENS!!
Dare is winded and out of breath as Dom rolls angrily out of the ring.
NINA APPLEBAUM: What a heart-stopping match!
BRAD STOKES: This is so weird. This is EXACTLY what would have happened to me.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Weird how you’ve psychologically worked your way into convincing yourself that you’re just like Dom Lawson, Bradley.
BRAD STOKES: Correction: I AM Dom Lawson.
NINA APPLEBAUM: O…kay. While Bradley has a complete mental breakdown of some kind, we leave you folks with another amazing night of Massacre. We’ll see you next time at Massacre #9! Thanks for watching everybody! I’m Nina Applebaum, and this is Brad—
BRAD STOKES: --Lawson, now.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Right. And you’ve been watching the Alpha Wrestling Empire’s Massacre. Thanks for tuning in!
The scene moves to an overhead shot of the roaring arena. And we fade.
Thirteen yawned. Kassandrah’s office had slowly emptied of photographers and assistants until it was just her looking bleary eyed with a furled brow at her computer screen. Thirteen had watched enviously and opted to wait for her friend. IN the chair beside her sat a sleeping and loudly snoring Francis Ford Cuppola. Typical, she figured. Kass had collected her jacket, shut off her office light and exited walking to Thirteen.
THIRTEEN: Great show tonight! That went well, I trust?
KASSANDRAH: I guess.
THIRTEEN: You looked busy in there. Signing all those documents, and so many photo ops. That must be a huge job.
Kass shrugged, her frown deepening across her brow as she averted her eyes.
THIRTEEN: Got a lot of things done, I bet. It sure looked like you did.
Kass winced.
KASSANDRAH: Well… actually…
Thirteen frowned with confusion.
THIRTEEN: What? What is it?
KASSANDRAH: I was just writing my name on paper, and they kept taking pictures of the documents.
THIRTEEN: Huh?
KASSANDRAH: They were just blank sheets of paper. I didn’t… I didn’t actually do anything.
THIRTEEN: But… well.. but it sure LOOKED like you did.
KASSANDRAH: I guess. The thing is, it’s the computer system. It’s not allowing me to access the databases.
THIRTEEN: Didn’t they format the system after T.S. disappeared?
KASSANDRAH: They did, yes.
THIRTEEN: Well there you go. It reset everything. That’s all. It’s just new.
KASSANDRAH: No.
Kassandrah leaned in to speak to her confidant in hushed tones.
KASSANDRAH: Thirteen, it’s like someone went in to the system after IT formatted it and re-formatted. Like they were trying to keep me locked out.
Thirteen eyed Kassandrah with confusion. She wasn’t a techy, but she could tell it wasn’t good news.
THIRTEEN: Who?
KASSANDRAH: I don’t know. IT’s working at fixing it.
THIRTEEN: Well, then it’s no big deal.
KASSANDRAH: I guess. It doesn’t sit right thinking someone is hacking into our system in a purposeful bid to hinder me.
Thirteen scoffed and urged Kass to walk with her.
THIRTEEN: Look, I know a lot about hacking. I wouldn’t worry too much about it. It’s probably just some 400 pound guy in his basement messing with you. Nothing to worry about.
Kassandrah lowered her eyes as they walked.
THIRTEEN: Come on. I’ll take you out for dinner.
They walked past the dozing Francis, Thirteen seemingly buoyed by the fact a problem still existed, and Kassandrah full of foreboding.
THIRTEEN: Great show tonight! That went well, I trust?
KASSANDRAH: I guess.
THIRTEEN: You looked busy in there. Signing all those documents, and so many photo ops. That must be a huge job.
Kass shrugged, her frown deepening across her brow as she averted her eyes.
THIRTEEN: Got a lot of things done, I bet. It sure looked like you did.
Kass winced.
KASSANDRAH: Well… actually…
Thirteen frowned with confusion.
THIRTEEN: What? What is it?
KASSANDRAH: I was just writing my name on paper, and they kept taking pictures of the documents.
THIRTEEN: Huh?
KASSANDRAH: They were just blank sheets of paper. I didn’t… I didn’t actually do anything.
THIRTEEN: But… well.. but it sure LOOKED like you did.
KASSANDRAH: I guess. The thing is, it’s the computer system. It’s not allowing me to access the databases.
THIRTEEN: Didn’t they format the system after T.S. disappeared?
KASSANDRAH: They did, yes.
THIRTEEN: Well there you go. It reset everything. That’s all. It’s just new.
KASSANDRAH: No.
Kassandrah leaned in to speak to her confidant in hushed tones.
KASSANDRAH: Thirteen, it’s like someone went in to the system after IT formatted it and re-formatted. Like they were trying to keep me locked out.
Thirteen eyed Kassandrah with confusion. She wasn’t a techy, but she could tell it wasn’t good news.
THIRTEEN: Who?
KASSANDRAH: I don’t know. IT’s working at fixing it.
THIRTEEN: Well, then it’s no big deal.
KASSANDRAH: I guess. It doesn’t sit right thinking someone is hacking into our system in a purposeful bid to hinder me.
Thirteen scoffed and urged Kass to walk with her.
THIRTEEN: Look, I know a lot about hacking. I wouldn’t worry too much about it. It’s probably just some 400 pound guy in his basement messing with you. Nothing to worry about.
Kassandrah lowered her eyes as they walked.
THIRTEEN: Come on. I’ll take you out for dinner.
They walked past the dozing Francis, Thirteen seemingly buoyed by the fact a problem still existed, and Kassandrah full of foreboding.
OOC NOTE: Thanks to all who contributed! Thanks to J for the new graphics and logos. Thanks to Adrian for writing some matches. Thanks to those who sent in segments. And thank you to all who role-played this cycle and help make this such a fun thing to take part in.