Post by sinisterminister on Mar 7, 2017 23:51:45 GMT -5
The feed switches to the AWE Newsroom and the chair spins around and it’s none other than American Tommy. He’s looking quite dapper today. His hair is perfectly done, beard perfectly trimmed, and with the suit he has on would make Tom Ford cream his jeans. He’s straight fire on a scale of 1-10. He smiles and looks into the camera.
AMERICAN TOMMY: Good evening everybody from Des Moines, Iowa. I’m obviously your host Harry Potter and this is another edition of Harry Potter: News for Muggles. Tonight, we have one topic and one topic only and her name is Yoyo. She left us a little video love message that we are going to break down for you guys. It was a very lovey, dovey piece that you could feel the love coming from her.
American Tommy takes his hand and clears his desk of everything on it. Pencils and papers scatter to the floor as he points into the camera. He then points to the video screen above his head and it switches to the beginning of Ketsuekigata Z’s interview with Sam Young paused.
AMERICAN TOMMY: I wouldn’t call this an interview, but more a cry for help from a lover scorned, but as a respected journalist I’m not allowed to have opinions. Anyways, there were many interesting parts in her love message.
American Tommy raises a remote to the screen and fast forwards it to the part where Kimitsu says, “Shut the fuck up.” He plays it, rewinds it, and plays it back a few times before pausing again.
AMERICAN TOMMY: That right there is a fuck you straight to the AWE universe. Yelling at another journalist who is just trying to get the news. You should be ashamed of yourself for not letting the AWE universe get the questions they want to know answered. Think of them like the checks to your balances. Be better than Donald Trump, Yoyo. You should be ashamed of yourself!
American Tommy fast forwards some more as it lands on Kimitsu’s face with hair all up in it.
AMERICAN TOMMY: This was interesting. She looks a bit like the Joker here with her wide eyes and weird looking smile...
American Tommy holds a long and dramatic pause here.
AMERICAN TOMMY: There isn’t anything important I wanted to get out of this pause other than to let people see her like this. That’s not a good look, Yoyo.
American Tommy looks smugly into the camera. He fast forwards towards the end of the interview. Kimitsu is seen saying, ‘All the annoyance I have stored up over all this time will become a blinding rage that I won’t be able to control this time.’ Looking into the camera as if he’s talking only to Kimitsu, Tommy begins to speak.
AMERICAN TOMMY: That right there is the most honest and telling thing I heard you say during your manifesto. It’s also the exact reason why you were chosen to be my first opponent. When you see me walking down to the ring after they announce you first, because let’s be honest, I’m the biggest star here and will be announced second, your pent up aggression towards me is going to turn into blind rage. You are going to do everything in your power to try and kick my ass. I know I'm going to have to weather a year plus of built up anger from you; this is a given. I’m going to take some bumps, but eventually in your blind rage you are going to fuck up and BAM! You just got laid out with a hip toss! Your obviously misguided hatred for me is going to be your downfall in this match, my love.
I don’t need to be the best wrestler in the ring when I’m already a step up in the match because I’m in your head. When you beat that punching bag it isn’t a bag to you; it’s my face. You ain’t throwing your sparring partner around in the ring during practice; it’s me that you think you are throwing around. When you lie your head down on that pillow of yours to fall into a deep slumber it isn’t thoughts of your family that are running through your head. No, no, no! Instead of counting sheep you are counting Harry Potters and that is exactly the reason I’m going to beat you.
I have found your Achilles heel and it isn’t a hurt shoulder, a bum knee, or simply the fact that you are a girl. Your Achilles heel, forever and always, will be ME, Yoyo.
American Tommy stands up and leans down putting both of his heads on his desk. He looks into the camera and smiles.
AMERICAN TOMMY: Forever and always.
American Tommy stands up and puts his hand to his heart while looking into the camera.
AMERICAN TOMMY: This has been another edition of Harry Potter: News for Muggles. My name is Harry Potter and have a good night, AWE muggles.
American Tommy does a cut signal with his hands and stands up straight. He thinks the camera is off, but it isn’t. He points down to the floor where the pile of pencils and papers are scattered around.
AMERICAN TOMMY: Someone needs to pick that shit up, because once I beat Yoyo she’s going to want me to clean, as she said "her muggle pipes,” and I ain’t gonna be able to hit that with a mess on this fucking floor guys. Tonight is the night boys! I’m going to make those eyes of her grow wider than they’ve ever been before. Venture deeper than Austin Gale can even see with his eyes.
WORKER: Harry, the camera is still rolling.
American Tommy looks into the camera and shrugs.
AMERICAN TOMMY: When you work with live television there isn’t any rewinds, boys. You gotta roll with the punches. Just like I’m gonna be punching that fortune cookie of hers with my dick later!
WORKER: It’s still rolling…
AMERICAN TOMMY: Shut the camera off you fucking idiot.
AMERICAN TOMMY: Good evening everybody from Des Moines, Iowa. I’m obviously your host Harry Potter and this is another edition of Harry Potter: News for Muggles. Tonight, we have one topic and one topic only and her name is Yoyo. She left us a little video love message that we are going to break down for you guys. It was a very lovey, dovey piece that you could feel the love coming from her.
American Tommy takes his hand and clears his desk of everything on it. Pencils and papers scatter to the floor as he points into the camera. He then points to the video screen above his head and it switches to the beginning of Ketsuekigata Z’s interview with Sam Young paused.
AMERICAN TOMMY: I wouldn’t call this an interview, but more a cry for help from a lover scorned, but as a respected journalist I’m not allowed to have opinions. Anyways, there were many interesting parts in her love message.
American Tommy raises a remote to the screen and fast forwards it to the part where Kimitsu says, “Shut the fuck up.” He plays it, rewinds it, and plays it back a few times before pausing again.
AMERICAN TOMMY: That right there is a fuck you straight to the AWE universe. Yelling at another journalist who is just trying to get the news. You should be ashamed of yourself for not letting the AWE universe get the questions they want to know answered. Think of them like the checks to your balances. Be better than Donald Trump, Yoyo. You should be ashamed of yourself!
American Tommy fast forwards some more as it lands on Kimitsu’s face with hair all up in it.
AMERICAN TOMMY: This was interesting. She looks a bit like the Joker here with her wide eyes and weird looking smile...
American Tommy holds a long and dramatic pause here.
AMERICAN TOMMY: There isn’t anything important I wanted to get out of this pause other than to let people see her like this. That’s not a good look, Yoyo.
American Tommy looks smugly into the camera. He fast forwards towards the end of the interview. Kimitsu is seen saying, ‘All the annoyance I have stored up over all this time will become a blinding rage that I won’t be able to control this time.’ Looking into the camera as if he’s talking only to Kimitsu, Tommy begins to speak.
AMERICAN TOMMY: That right there is the most honest and telling thing I heard you say during your manifesto. It’s also the exact reason why you were chosen to be my first opponent. When you see me walking down to the ring after they announce you first, because let’s be honest, I’m the biggest star here and will be announced second, your pent up aggression towards me is going to turn into blind rage. You are going to do everything in your power to try and kick my ass. I know I'm going to have to weather a year plus of built up anger from you; this is a given. I’m going to take some bumps, but eventually in your blind rage you are going to fuck up and BAM! You just got laid out with a hip toss! Your obviously misguided hatred for me is going to be your downfall in this match, my love.
I don’t need to be the best wrestler in the ring when I’m already a step up in the match because I’m in your head. When you beat that punching bag it isn’t a bag to you; it’s my face. You ain’t throwing your sparring partner around in the ring during practice; it’s me that you think you are throwing around. When you lie your head down on that pillow of yours to fall into a deep slumber it isn’t thoughts of your family that are running through your head. No, no, no! Instead of counting sheep you are counting Harry Potters and that is exactly the reason I’m going to beat you.
I have found your Achilles heel and it isn’t a hurt shoulder, a bum knee, or simply the fact that you are a girl. Your Achilles heel, forever and always, will be ME, Yoyo.
American Tommy stands up and leans down putting both of his heads on his desk. He looks into the camera and smiles.
AMERICAN TOMMY: Forever and always.
American Tommy stands up and puts his hand to his heart while looking into the camera.
AMERICAN TOMMY: This has been another edition of Harry Potter: News for Muggles. My name is Harry Potter and have a good night, AWE muggles.
American Tommy does a cut signal with his hands and stands up straight. He thinks the camera is off, but it isn’t. He points down to the floor where the pile of pencils and papers are scattered around.
AMERICAN TOMMY: Someone needs to pick that shit up, because once I beat Yoyo she’s going to want me to clean, as she said "her muggle pipes,” and I ain’t gonna be able to hit that with a mess on this fucking floor guys. Tonight is the night boys! I’m going to make those eyes of her grow wider than they’ve ever been before. Venture deeper than Austin Gale can even see with his eyes.
WORKER: Harry, the camera is still rolling.
American Tommy looks into the camera and shrugs.
AMERICAN TOMMY: When you work with live television there isn’t any rewinds, boys. You gotta roll with the punches. Just like I’m gonna be punching that fortune cookie of hers with my dick later!
WORKER: It’s still rolling…
AMERICAN TOMMY: Shut the camera off you fucking idiot.