MASSACRE # 1 - November 6, 2016
Nov 6, 2016 10:29:36 GMT -5
Caroline O'Hara Burchill and zombie like this
Post by Staff on Nov 6, 2016 10:29:36 GMT -5
Earlier This Week
Around the boardroom table on the fourteenth floor of the recently minted AWE headquarters in New York City, New York sat Kassandrah and Francis Ford Cuppola, (complete with his entourage of French Mimes, syrup dealing Canadian Mr. Mississagi, and of course his assistant Rodney P seated next to him wishing he were dead). They were there listening intently to the Chief Operating Officer of the AWE, Thomas Shane Elliot, with the ubiquitous speaker that embodied their mysterious majority stakeholder, Mr. Smith, beside him on the desk, as Thomas continued to explain.
THOMAS SHANE ELLIOT: ... and that's why we named it the Resilience Division, complete with a Resilience Championship to cap it off. As always happens, much of the focus falls onto winning that belt. At our first edition of Massacre on Sunday, in order to complete that task each of the scheduled competitors will be required to display an intense level of resilience simply to make it to that main event and prove victorious in the end. All of the signed competitors to the Resilience division are looking at that prize as the end game. But it's not just about whoever wins, friends. We have eight people booked to compete for the belt. And there can be only one winner. That means seven competitors are going to be leaving Washington, D.C. empty-handed and disappointed.
T.S. Elliot was in full-on hype mode as he spoke. Kassandrah rested her jaw in the palm of her hand propped up by her elbow on the table and looked bored. She'd learned that this C.O.O fellow liked to hear himself talk, and she was growing less fond of listening, oddly finding herself missing, instead, the talking box' authoritative barking. Francis, on the other hand, was rapt at attention with both elbows on the table in an overt show of adulation.
THOMAS SHANE ELLIOT: Because there can only be one winner, not only does the winner represent resilience, but the all members of the division itself must showcase how well those who don't win get back up and dust themselves off to try again the next time. And, believe me, there will be a next time. There will always be a next time. This division will be for fighters, not for quitters! Only the strong will survive, you get it?
Kass blinked, as Francis pointed to Thomas Shane Elliot in revelatory glee and started a slow clap of continued over-exaggerated admiration.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Whoa... Amazing. Spectacular thinking, T.S.. Did you think of that yourself?
THOMAS SHANE ELLIOT: Well, I--
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Because you're a genius, Tommy.
THOMAS SHANE ELLIOT: It's not Tommy, it's--
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: That's what I said, T-Dot! This Mr. Smith sure knew what he was doing when he hired you!
Thomas Elliot grinned with one side of his mouth knowingly at Francis before he lifted two silver attache cases from beneath the table onto the desk.
THOMAS SHANE ELLIOT: Yes, well... here they are. The Paramount and Resilience championships ready to be claimed by worthy holders.
Francis looked concerned and confused.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: ... But those are briefcases, T.S.
Thomas Elliot rolled his eyes with a silent inhale and mindful prayer to whatever watchful power was gracing this room to give him patience and strength in the face of Francis Ford Cuppola.
THOMAS SHANE ELLIOT: Inside the briefcases, Francis.
Francis breathed a sigh of relief.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Whew. Had me going there, T.S.!
Francis laughed heartily and obliviously missing everyone in the room rolling their eyes at his lack of attention. At that moment in burst Thirteen through the double doors delicately carrying a plate with a freshly made sandwich.
THIRTEEN: Lunchtime! I made you a sandwich, Mr. Elliot.
Francis frowned suspiciously and watched his newfound nemesis sneer at him as she bee lined towards a surprised but welcoming Thomas Shane Elliot.
THOMAS SHANE ELLIOT: Oh. That's very thoughtful of you. I was getting hungry.
She smiled genially as Thomas Elliot plucked one of the triangular cut sandwiches off the plate and took a welcome bite. Thirteen turned her head and winked at Francis who narrowed his eyes and cursed her under his breath as the man they had begun competitively wooing for attention enthusiastically chewed the bite of his sandwich and changed focus.
THOMAS SHANE ELLIOT: Mmm! That's really good! *swallows* So, with the title picture firming up, the only thing left to finalize is the television contract for broadcast rights to--
Thomas stopped talking and blinked uncomfortably. He frowned and loosened his tie.
THOMAS SHANE ELLIOT: What was in that sandwich?
Thirteen thought a second then recited her recipe with pride.
THIRTEEN: Oh, you know, jam. Some organic peanut butter...
Thomas Shane Elliot's eyes widened in shock as he began gulping for air.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: What's wrong T.S.?
KASSANDRAH: He's having an allergic reaction to peanuts.
Kass said deadpan sitting up in her chair finally roused to wakefulness.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: In the middle of the meeting?
Thomas Shane Elliot's face began to swell and groped panic-stricken at the table as he clutched his throat. Thirteen looked on aghast.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: You planned this didn't you, Thirsteen!?
Thirteen stood speechless as Thomas Shane Elliot's face turned red.
THIRTEEN: I didn't... how could I...?
Francis nodded smugly at her.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Well played. But you won't win this way.
THIRTEEN: I didn't... no! I had no idea!
KASSANDRAH: Somebody should probably call an ambulance.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Why? OH! Right. The allergy.
Rodney P had already risen from his seat to find help and rushed around the desk to tend to Thomas Shane Elliot as Thirteen stood back guiltily.
RODNEY P: Mimes, get help.
In lockstep the two face-painted mimes exited the room as Rodney put years of first aid experience immediately to work. Thirteen looked on near tears as Kassandrah seemed to watch with knowing interest. Francis shook his head.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Well, now who's going to run the company?
Two sudden darting glances met between Francis and Thirteen. Their eyes zeroed in and narrowed on one another.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Let the competition begin.
Thirteen's fists clenched as they stared one another down.
RODNEY P: He's going into shock.
FADE...
THOMAS SHANE ELLIOT: ... and that's why we named it the Resilience Division, complete with a Resilience Championship to cap it off. As always happens, much of the focus falls onto winning that belt. At our first edition of Massacre on Sunday, in order to complete that task each of the scheduled competitors will be required to display an intense level of resilience simply to make it to that main event and prove victorious in the end. All of the signed competitors to the Resilience division are looking at that prize as the end game. But it's not just about whoever wins, friends. We have eight people booked to compete for the belt. And there can be only one winner. That means seven competitors are going to be leaving Washington, D.C. empty-handed and disappointed.
T.S. Elliot was in full-on hype mode as he spoke. Kassandrah rested her jaw in the palm of her hand propped up by her elbow on the table and looked bored. She'd learned that this C.O.O fellow liked to hear himself talk, and she was growing less fond of listening, oddly finding herself missing, instead, the talking box' authoritative barking. Francis, on the other hand, was rapt at attention with both elbows on the table in an overt show of adulation.
THOMAS SHANE ELLIOT: Because there can only be one winner, not only does the winner represent resilience, but the all members of the division itself must showcase how well those who don't win get back up and dust themselves off to try again the next time. And, believe me, there will be a next time. There will always be a next time. This division will be for fighters, not for quitters! Only the strong will survive, you get it?
Kass blinked, as Francis pointed to Thomas Shane Elliot in revelatory glee and started a slow clap of continued over-exaggerated admiration.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Whoa... Amazing. Spectacular thinking, T.S.. Did you think of that yourself?
THOMAS SHANE ELLIOT: Well, I--
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Because you're a genius, Tommy.
THOMAS SHANE ELLIOT: It's not Tommy, it's--
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: That's what I said, T-Dot! This Mr. Smith sure knew what he was doing when he hired you!
Thomas Elliot grinned with one side of his mouth knowingly at Francis before he lifted two silver attache cases from beneath the table onto the desk.
THOMAS SHANE ELLIOT: Yes, well... here they are. The Paramount and Resilience championships ready to be claimed by worthy holders.
Francis looked concerned and confused.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: ... But those are briefcases, T.S.
Thomas Elliot rolled his eyes with a silent inhale and mindful prayer to whatever watchful power was gracing this room to give him patience and strength in the face of Francis Ford Cuppola.
THOMAS SHANE ELLIOT: Inside the briefcases, Francis.
Francis breathed a sigh of relief.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Whew. Had me going there, T.S.!
Francis laughed heartily and obliviously missing everyone in the room rolling their eyes at his lack of attention. At that moment in burst Thirteen through the double doors delicately carrying a plate with a freshly made sandwich.
THIRTEEN: Lunchtime! I made you a sandwich, Mr. Elliot.
Francis frowned suspiciously and watched his newfound nemesis sneer at him as she bee lined towards a surprised but welcoming Thomas Shane Elliot.
THOMAS SHANE ELLIOT: Oh. That's very thoughtful of you. I was getting hungry.
She smiled genially as Thomas Elliot plucked one of the triangular cut sandwiches off the plate and took a welcome bite. Thirteen turned her head and winked at Francis who narrowed his eyes and cursed her under his breath as the man they had begun competitively wooing for attention enthusiastically chewed the bite of his sandwich and changed focus.
THOMAS SHANE ELLIOT: Mmm! That's really good! *swallows* So, with the title picture firming up, the only thing left to finalize is the television contract for broadcast rights to--
Thomas stopped talking and blinked uncomfortably. He frowned and loosened his tie.
THOMAS SHANE ELLIOT: What was in that sandwich?
Thirteen thought a second then recited her recipe with pride.
THIRTEEN: Oh, you know, jam. Some organic peanut butter...
Thomas Shane Elliot's eyes widened in shock as he began gulping for air.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: What's wrong T.S.?
KASSANDRAH: He's having an allergic reaction to peanuts.
Kass said deadpan sitting up in her chair finally roused to wakefulness.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: In the middle of the meeting?
Thomas Shane Elliot's face began to swell and groped panic-stricken at the table as he clutched his throat. Thirteen looked on aghast.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: You planned this didn't you, Thirsteen!?
Thirteen stood speechless as Thomas Shane Elliot's face turned red.
THIRTEEN: I didn't... how could I...?
Francis nodded smugly at her.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Well played. But you won't win this way.
THIRTEEN: I didn't... no! I had no idea!
KASSANDRAH: Somebody should probably call an ambulance.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Why? OH! Right. The allergy.
Rodney P had already risen from his seat to find help and rushed around the desk to tend to Thomas Shane Elliot as Thirteen stood back guiltily.
RODNEY P: Mimes, get help.
In lockstep the two face-painted mimes exited the room as Rodney put years of first aid experience immediately to work. Thirteen looked on near tears as Kassandrah seemed to watch with knowing interest. Francis shook his head.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Well, now who's going to run the company?
Two sudden darting glances met between Francis and Thirteen. Their eyes zeroed in and narrowed on one another.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Let the competition begin.
Thirteen's fists clenched as they stared one another down.
RODNEY P: He's going into shock.
FADE...
The beat of Nas' "Made You Look" starts in as we fade in to a studio set-up. Two large screens are mounted overhead of the one, the only Nathan Hollis dressed in a white Puma flat cap and a matching white plain white jersey with the AWE logo on it and a pair of heans. He stands in a huddle with Francis Ford Cuppola as the song brings us to the start of our show and the volume slowly lowers.
NATE HOLLIS: What do you mean he's DEAD?
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: It means just what I said it means. Thomas Shane Elliot died of an asthma attack or something.
Nate Hollis glares disbelieving at Francis. Both men are unaware that the cameras are rolling.
NATE HOLLIS: So, you're telling me you're the new COO of the Alpha Wrestling Empire?
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Absolutely, Nigel.
NATE HOLLIS: It's Nate. Nathan Hollis. The "Godfather of Gab"?
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: I said that.
NATE HOLLIS: No, you didn't. Look, I don't care where the paycheck is coming from, so long as we're keeping folks entertained and everybody's happy you can be the boss of whatever the hell you wa--HEY.
Nate spies the on-camera light and brightens his way out of the huddle without missing a beat.
NATE HOLLIS: Welcome to Sunday Night Massacre, fight fans. It's me, ya boy and fellow fight fanatic, the one, the only Mr. Nathan Hollis here to give you the rundown on everything you may have missed, but didn't want to, from the debut show of your NEW favorite Wrestling promotion the Alpha Wrestling Empire. Standing right next to me is everybody's semi-favorite filmmaker, the incomparable Francis Ford Cuppola with no relation to the guy that's actually talented.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Thank you, Nate.
Francis grins for the cameras.
NATE HOLLIS: And me and my boy here are coming to you live straight from AWE headquarters in New York City, New York to recap, rehash and downright rewire your brains to stay tuned to all present and future AWE programming. Let me tell you, we got some of the best wrestling action coming at you tonight that you're ever going to see, complete with the explosive continuation of a feud carried over from Pure Amusement Wrestling between Caroline O'Hara Burchill and Monarchy Wrestling's finest Anastasia Hayden. We got the debut of some bright prospects with the likes of my boy, Austin Gale; Hanzo Kirigaya the DRAGON himself; I'm talking about Dom DiBona set to take flight, and that's just in the opening match. And that's just the tip of the iceberg, friends and fam. Tonight, the AWE brings you the Resilience title tournament complete with the crowning of our FIRST AWE Resilience champion. We got some of the best and brightest still to feature for you so you better not miss a second!
And it's all taking place in our nation's capital 2 days before America picks her poison! I'll be here with you for the next two hours to bring you highlights, and in-depth analysis of the moves and shakes as we turn this Sunday Night into a MASSACRE! That's right this night promises to be bigger than the Statue of Liberty, fans. But Francis, this is the recap show, where do my people go to if they want to see the full show? Online, Hulu, ESPN?
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: The channel Ocho, Neal.
Francis' grin stretches from ear to ear. Nate's big smile barely falters. Only a blink betrays his confusion.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: That's the number 8.
NATE HOLLIS: Nate. My name is Nate. And I'm sure it is, but where the hell is that on so people can watch it?
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: It's in Spain, uh Mexico, and I think Brazil.
Francis remains grinning. Beside him, Nate Hollis loses his composure.
NATE HOLLIS: Okay, what?
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: What?
NATE HOLLIS: You're telling me that your first order of business as Chief Operating Officer of the AWE was to secure us a broadcasting contract in Spain and South America?
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: ... well this show is being broadcast on TSN and ESPN, Nelson. I got our bases covered. I don't see a problem here.
Nate's frustration is evident as he forgoes correcting Francis' new and latest 'mispronunciation' of his name.
NATE HOLLIS: Well, why the hell didn't you just broadcast the whole show on TSN and ESPN rather than some crummy recap show, ya damned fool?
Francis Ford Cuppola apparently hadn't considered that as he stares blankly into space trying to think of an answer.
NATE HOLLIS: Right, while AWE's apparent replacement head of operations pulls his head out of his ass, we're going to start things off with the first match of the night that you'd likely be watching right now if you lived in Spain or South America.
Francis stands there beside Nate looking befuddled as Nate steps out in front and brings back his excitement.
NATE HOLLIS: It's like this all you AWE-inspiring fans out there. Four talents. One ring. 2 Debuts, and 2 fighters looking to start over. I'm talking about "The Dragon" Hanzo Kirigaya and Dom DiBona, 2 fresh-faced newcomers coming to the ring with something to prove. Seem like the deck is stacked against them? Well to anyone who says that I point you straight to the likes of "Country Fine" James Radford and the "Hawkeye Warrior" herself Jessie Roberts, neither of whom can boast much more than experience at this point in their careers.
When that bell struck, and these four got their first real look at one another... you could tell this was going to be OFF. the. HOOK. But don't let me tell you how it went down. I'll show you...
Nate throws it to the match in progress!
NATE HOLLIS: What do you mean he's DEAD?
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: It means just what I said it means. Thomas Shane Elliot died of an asthma attack or something.
Nate Hollis glares disbelieving at Francis. Both men are unaware that the cameras are rolling.
NATE HOLLIS: So, you're telling me you're the new COO of the Alpha Wrestling Empire?
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Absolutely, Nigel.
NATE HOLLIS: It's Nate. Nathan Hollis. The "Godfather of Gab"?
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: I said that.
NATE HOLLIS: No, you didn't. Look, I don't care where the paycheck is coming from, so long as we're keeping folks entertained and everybody's happy you can be the boss of whatever the hell you wa--HEY.
Nate spies the on-camera light and brightens his way out of the huddle without missing a beat.
NATE HOLLIS: Welcome to Sunday Night Massacre, fight fans. It's me, ya boy and fellow fight fanatic, the one, the only Mr. Nathan Hollis here to give you the rundown on everything you may have missed, but didn't want to, from the debut show of your NEW favorite Wrestling promotion the Alpha Wrestling Empire. Standing right next to me is everybody's semi-favorite filmmaker, the incomparable Francis Ford Cuppola with no relation to the guy that's actually talented.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Thank you, Nate.
Francis grins for the cameras.
NATE HOLLIS: And me and my boy here are coming to you live straight from AWE headquarters in New York City, New York to recap, rehash and downright rewire your brains to stay tuned to all present and future AWE programming. Let me tell you, we got some of the best wrestling action coming at you tonight that you're ever going to see, complete with the explosive continuation of a feud carried over from Pure Amusement Wrestling between Caroline O'Hara Burchill and Monarchy Wrestling's finest Anastasia Hayden. We got the debut of some bright prospects with the likes of my boy, Austin Gale; Hanzo Kirigaya the DRAGON himself; I'm talking about Dom DiBona set to take flight, and that's just in the opening match. And that's just the tip of the iceberg, friends and fam. Tonight, the AWE brings you the Resilience title tournament complete with the crowning of our FIRST AWE Resilience champion. We got some of the best and brightest still to feature for you so you better not miss a second!
And it's all taking place in our nation's capital 2 days before America picks her poison! I'll be here with you for the next two hours to bring you highlights, and in-depth analysis of the moves and shakes as we turn this Sunday Night into a MASSACRE! That's right this night promises to be bigger than the Statue of Liberty, fans. But Francis, this is the recap show, where do my people go to if they want to see the full show? Online, Hulu, ESPN?
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: The channel Ocho, Neal.
Francis' grin stretches from ear to ear. Nate's big smile barely falters. Only a blink betrays his confusion.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: That's the number 8.
NATE HOLLIS: Nate. My name is Nate. And I'm sure it is, but where the hell is that on so people can watch it?
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: It's in Spain, uh Mexico, and I think Brazil.
Francis remains grinning. Beside him, Nate Hollis loses his composure.
NATE HOLLIS: Okay, what?
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: What?
NATE HOLLIS: You're telling me that your first order of business as Chief Operating Officer of the AWE was to secure us a broadcasting contract in Spain and South America?
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: ... well this show is being broadcast on TSN and ESPN, Nelson. I got our bases covered. I don't see a problem here.
Nate's frustration is evident as he forgoes correcting Francis' new and latest 'mispronunciation' of his name.
NATE HOLLIS: Well, why the hell didn't you just broadcast the whole show on TSN and ESPN rather than some crummy recap show, ya damned fool?
Francis Ford Cuppola apparently hadn't considered that as he stares blankly into space trying to think of an answer.
NATE HOLLIS: Right, while AWE's apparent replacement head of operations pulls his head out of his ass, we're going to start things off with the first match of the night that you'd likely be watching right now if you lived in Spain or South America.
Francis stands there beside Nate looking befuddled as Nate steps out in front and brings back his excitement.
NATE HOLLIS: It's like this all you AWE-inspiring fans out there. Four talents. One ring. 2 Debuts, and 2 fighters looking to start over. I'm talking about "The Dragon" Hanzo Kirigaya and Dom DiBona, 2 fresh-faced newcomers coming to the ring with something to prove. Seem like the deck is stacked against them? Well to anyone who says that I point you straight to the likes of "Country Fine" James Radford and the "Hawkeye Warrior" herself Jessie Roberts, neither of whom can boast much more than experience at this point in their careers.
When that bell struck, and these four got their first real look at one another... you could tell this was going to be OFF. the. HOOK. But don't let me tell you how it went down. I'll show you...
Nate throws it to the match in progress!
"Country Fine" James Radford VS. "The Dragon" Hanzo Kirigaya VS. Dom DiBona VS. Jessie Roberts
NINA APPLEBAUM: Dom DiBona is going to fly once more!
DiBona launches off the top rope to the outside where James Radford, Hanzo Kirigaya and Jessie Roberts are caught in a vicious scrum of stiff punches. The crowd pops as DiBona's flight crashes down onto the three of them, flattening the group to the floor with an impressive senton. DiBona's landing is cushioned by the three bodies under him and he finds himself up to his feet near the guardrail rather quickly receiving a flurry of pats on the back from the fans.
BRAD STOKES: That man is the most inspiring wrestler in the world today, Nina. I think I'm starting to hate him.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Why?
BRAD STOKES: He makes me believe I can fly! And I hate heights, for god’s sake!
NINA APPLEBAUM: It's been the story since the opening bell that DiBona has strategically avoided his opponents’s attacks and favored quick scene-stealing acrobatics like the one we just witnessed. It's no wonder he's making everyone think they can fly here tonight!
Inside the ring, Theo Refano is pacing the ropes looking down at the four combatants and continuing his count.
4…
DiBona reaches down and finds a hold of "The Dragon” Hanzo Kirigaya and tugs him to his feet only to be surprised by a standing dropkick to Dom’s chest that sends him reeling backwards against the guardrail.
5…
Jessie Roberts finds her hair being gripped by James Radford, who is mindful of the ref’s count and likely eager to get the fight back into the ring, he whips her under the bottom ropes and slides in after her up onto the apron. In that same amount of time Jessie Roberts has kickflipped to a stand and delivered a skull-crushing rolling discus punch to Radford that sends “Country Fine” careening off the ring apron onto the concrete floor.
BRAD STOKES: And Bobby Benson sheds the tears no one else cares to shed.
On the other side of the ring Bobby Benson is feigning calamitous tears at the sight of his charge being dumped unceremoniously back to the outside.
NINA APPLEBAUM: These four competitors haven’t taken their foot off the collective gas pedal since the sound of the bell.
BRAD STOKES: They keep trading opponents!
Hanzo has turned his attention to the fallen James Radford and lays severe boots down into the fallen homespun hero.
Inside the ring, Jessie Roberts is getting a breather, and notices only in time to see that Dom DiBona has found his way back up to the top rope and launched at her hitting a crowd-pleasing tornado DDT that spikes Jessie vertically before he quickly goes for the cover!
1..
2..
NINA APPLEBAUM: Kickout before three!
BRAD STOKES: Get a load of Hanzo on the outside. Kid lifted his head the second he heard the crowd popped to get a look into the ring and it was like he shat himself then and there.
NINA APPLEBAUM: An apt way of stating none of these talents wants to score a loss due to lack of attentiveness.
BRAD STOKES: You have your way of articulating the truth, and I have mine. Mine is better. G. T. F. O.
The momentary concern of Hanzo that he may not have been able to break up the pin gives James Radford a chance to surprise him with a thrusting uppercut on Radford’s way up that staggers the Dragon where he stands. And Radford follows it through with a jolting spinebuster to the masked wrestler!
BRAD STOKES: And that’s the other thing about this shitshow I don’t like, Nina. That referee can’t keep an eye on all four of them. While Dumb DiBoner and Jessie J there squabble in the ring, Redford could’ve grabbed a steel chair and laid out Astro Boy by now. Instead they’re all playing kissy face out there.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Hardly, Bradley. It was bound to be a rarity to see four face-leaning competitors squaring off, but it’s not unwelcome. This is professional wrestling without the frills or even necessity of a chair shot, and the fans love it!
BRAD STOKES: Yes, but what do they know?
Jessie Roberts finds herself caught in a Dom DiBona armbar in the middle of the ring and she is working hard to drag her way painfully across the canvas to make a rope break that must look further and further away as Theo Refano checks in on her!
James Radford has pulled Hanzo Kirigaya to his feet and slid him back into the ring and followed him up onto the apron, this time wasting no time as he sprightly hops over the ropes and readies to keep the pressure on The Dragon, but Dom sights Radford and hurriedly lets go of Jessie Roberts!
BRAD STOKES: What is he doing?! The kid had her!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Perhaps in a display of inexperience, Dom DiBona has altered course yet again and turned his attention to the mounting momentum of James Radford!
DiBona is on his feet like lightning and charging at Radford, but he’s mistaken as he finds himself on the horrid end of a wicked clothesline that counters the speed of DiBona and flips the inspirational high-flier end over and painfully onto his shoulder!
BRAD STOKES: I love how Bobby Benson is the only person in the D.C. Armory right now who gives a damn that James Radford holds the floor.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Also untrue, Bradley. This crowd hasn’t sat down since this match started.
Indeed they’re clamoring to the guardrails as Radford builds momentum. Hanzo lifts to his feet and charges Radford only to be plowed over with a shoulder tackle! Radford bounces to a stand like he were made of energy, turns in time to see Dom DiBona clamoring up to his feet and charging at him for one more try only to find himself scooped and SLAMMED.
NINA APPLEBAUM: James Radford is on fire out there right now!
BRAD STOKES: You’d never know this guy used to get paid to bite the dust over in Pure Amusement, would ya?
With the three opponents down and Radford in seeming control he wastes no time bouncing off the nearby ropes shimmy-shake dances his way back to the fallen Dom and hits a knee drop!
BRAD STOKES: The Radford Jam is what he calls that piece of shit! I'd have come up with something better.
NINA APPLEBAUM: He can call it what he wants, this crowd is roaring! Radford could win this thing!
Radford gives a hearty grin and point to an ecstatic Bobby Benson on the outside, only to turn and be greeted by a European uppercut courtesy of Jessie Roberts that staggers “Country Fine” backwards right into a recovering Hanzo Kirigaya who hits Radford with a dragon suplex right into a cover!
1..
Jessie Roberts rushes in to plant a precision kick right to Hanzo’s midsection and breaks up the pin.
BRAD STOKES: Should’ve been paying attention to Jessie Roberts… that guy’s an idiot!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Bobby Benson?
BRAD STOKES: Him too. They’re all morons. Jessie Roberts gets a pass cause I’m contemplating featuring her in some sexual fantasies later.
NINA APPLEBAUM: We’ve spoken before about TMI. Let’s not have that talk again.
BRAD STOKES: I won’t listen, Nina. You know that.
Jessie Roberts drives stiff shots down into Hanzo’s chest and jaw before standing him up and straightening his spine with some loud, reverberating knife edge-chops that has the crowd ‘oooh-ing’ and ‘ahhh-ing’ before Hanzo catches one, kicks Jessie hard in the midsection, turns around and promptly SLAMS Jessie Roberts down with a snapmare driver! Hanzo goes for the quick cover!
1..
2..
Dom DiBona has staggered to his feet and double-axe-handled down onto Hanzo to break up the pin! Each of the competitors is down for the moment!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Nice execution there by Hanzo Kirigaya!
BRAD STOKES: Yea, if this weren’t a fatal fourway, he may have won this thing already.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Given the level of expertise on display here, I’m surprised these wrestlers can claim to be relative newcomers to the sport.
BRAD STOKES: It’s a hustle. I saw that Hanzo kid fighting Godzilla back in the 50s.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Always an insightful conversation with you, Bradley, as we delve once more into your racist tendencies.
BRAD STOKES: I’m not racist, I love Godzilla. How is that racist? Are giant lizards even a race?
NINA APPLEBAUM: Glad that’s settled.
James Radford is the one to climb to his feet first and is met by Dom who is more cautious this time than the last couple of times.
BRAD STOKES: Well look at that, the inspiring kid’s learning!
As Radford moves at Dom without flinching, Dom slams a surprising back elbow into Radford and then a quick dropkick into Radford that backs Country Fine up against the ropes. Re-energized, Dom is up and knees Radford in the midsection to double him over, grips Radford’s arms in an underhook and powerfully hoists Radford vertically!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Watch out for The Dragon!
Hanzo Kirigaya has risen and wasted no time charging at the two, hitting a surprise superkick into Dom’s back that lurches him forward, the impact sending Radford spilling over the ropes, awkwardly onto the apron and dropping to the outside!
BRAD STOKES: Nice late warning there, Nina. A few seconds sooner and you could’ve prevented the death of James Radford.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Bobby Benson seems awfully crushed.
As Bobby Benson rushes around ringside to check on James Radford, inside the ring Dom grips his back, but is given little time as Hanzo lays into him with vicious forearm shots that send Dom reeling across the ropes into the nearby corner! Hanzo doesn’t let up firing shots into Dom that spurs the crowd to keep count!
1!
2!
3!
Hanzo hops onto the bottom rope and continues!
4!
5!
Dom fires back but Hanzo shrugs the retaliatory strikes off and stuns Dom with a painful elbow to the jaw! Hanzo spurs Dom onto the top turnbuckle facing out into the crowd and climbs to the middle rope!
BRAD STOKES: How’s THIS for flight?
NINA APPLEBAUM: Hanzo Kirigaya looks poised to win this!
With a call to the fans who are roaring in the stands, Hanzo launches Dom into the ring with a super german suplex that sends DiBona careening painfully across the canvas!
NINA APPLEBAUM: And Hanzo grips the ropes with his legs! That’s the Dangerous German! The setup for—
As Hanzo orients himself onto the top rope to prepare to fly, Jessie Roberts catches Hanzo unawares with a European uppercut that stuns Hanzo atop the turnbuckle then wastes no time hopping onto the ropes and shaking the ring boards as she sends Hanzo off with a superplex!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Oh… sweet lord both Hanzo and Dom are down and out!
Jessie Roberts staggers to her feet awash in the roar of the crowd, stumbling backward against the ropes to catch her breath only to be surprised by a resurgent James Radford who’s found his way onto the ring apron and slammed a stiff forearm shot into Jessie Roberts!
BRAD STOKES: Forgot about that guy.
Radford steps through the ropes as Jessie struggles to recover only to be met with another stiff shot, then another that doubles her over. Radford, in obvious strain, sets Jessie up and into a piledriver rather quickly!
NINA APPLEBAUM: The Hillbilly Deluxe!
BRAD STOKES: Does he even know where he is?!
Radford looks stunned that he hit the move, his eyes bleary as he scrambles to roll Jessie Roberts over for the cover!
1…
2..
Dom and Hanzo simultaneously lift their heads off the canvas in time to see
3!!
DING! DING! DING!
“Guitars and Cadillacs” by Dwight Yoakum strikes much to James Radford’s surprise as the referee helps to his feet. Dom DiBona and Hanzo Kirigaya both disappointed as they roll from the ring on opposite sides looking weary.
BRAD STOKES: I can’t believe he pulled that off.
NINA APPLEBAUM: I don’t think James Radford can believe he pulled that off.
Bobby Benson is front and center jumping around the ring to seemingly celebrate for the still-stunned James Radford as Marshall Douglas steps in dressed in a flashy orange tuxedo with white and orange polka-dotted tie.
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: Ladies and Gentleman, your winner of tonight’s contest… he is… JAMES… “COUNTRYYYY FINEEE!!!!!” RADDDDDDDFOOOOORRRRRRRDDDD!!!
NINA APPLEBAUM: What a way to start the night.
BRAD STOKES: *yawns*
NINA APPLEBAUM: For some of us anyway. Good to have you along for the ride, Brad.
BRAD STOKES: The pleasure is all yours.
Rakim and Eric B's' "Let the Rhythm Hit 'em" is pumping into the studio where we focus back on Nate Hollis' Cheshire grin. The music volume lowers.
NATE HOLLIS: Welcome back to the AWE control room, and it's just like I told you from the start, true believers. That match didn't waste time, didn't make sure you had your seat belts on before flooring us all with wrestling action all those other guys wish they had. Those four came out to put on a show and they did. But, if you ask me there's plenty of questions the result of that match asked rather than answered. With a surprise win for James Radford, what must the two guys who didn't take the pin be thinking after that? From where I'm standing it looked like just about anyone could've taken that match, so without a truly definitive outcome how much blood are Jessie, Dom, and Hanzo going to be after at Massacre number 2 and beyond?
Hollis grins ever wider and backs up from the camera.
NATE HOLLIS: I have absolutely no doubt those answers will come in the coming weeks, so stay tuned all you Alphaphiles. The AWE Massacre continues, but now, a word from our sponsors.
The roll of electronic drum tones mingles with quick shots of some drum sticks (Akoo Stiks) drumming in time to the drum tones in mid air on absolutely nothing!
Wide-out to a bunch of bright-smiling kids exuberantly playing their Akoo Stiks on a playground while hip drums sound out. They quickly strike a pose together, raise their Akoo Stiks in the air and shout in unison:
KIDS: AKOO STIKS!
The drums are popping! Cut to kids dancing and be-bopping down the street air drumming with their Akoo Stiks as the beat turns funky hip-hop.
ANNOUNCER: That's right, Akoo Stiks! The number 1 selling product for acoustic enthusiasts in the United Arab Emirates is BACK for a limited time only and costing a bargain-basement $59.95!
Cut to an entire family air drumming in their living room, all smiles, with their Akoo Stiks. Together they salute each other, holding their Akoo Stiks up like wine glasses!
FAMILY IN UNISON: AKOO STIKS!
ANNOUNCER: That's right, Akoo Stiks are fun for the whole family!
The family keeps dancing up a storm as they drum on objects in the home while the drum beat turns more rock and roll, thankfully drowning out the obnoxious clanging and dinging of the drum sticks rattling off brass lamps and glass tabletops.
DAD: Looking good, kids!
KIDS: Thanks, Dad!
The dad and his wife share a knowing smile and perform a drum roll in mid air together with their Akoo Stiks!
ANNOUNCER: Akoo Stiks are great for all ages, and guaranteed to ROCK right out of the BOX with no assembly required!
Shot of a kid looking glumly at his crappy opened birthday presents that kids are struggling to assemble in the background. Not liking his prospects he opens another birthday present. His eyes light up as he pulls out a set of Akoo Stiks!
KID: AKOO STIKS!
The other kids look up from their painstaking, stressful and rapidly failing toy assembly to see the guest of honor holding up his Akoo Stiks. The other kids' eyes light up. The parents of the giddy child smile with renewed satisfaction at their choice of presents.
ANNOUNCER: Akoo Stiks are great for travel and for home. You can play them anywhere!
Shot of kids rocking out with their Akoo Stiks in front of a chromakey image of famous Roman architecture!
ANNOUNCER: And now, for even more fun...
Cut to a kid rocking out with his Akoo Stiks on a 12-piece drum kit with the Akoo Stik logo on the kick drum!
ANNOUNCER: ...couple your Akoo Stiks with a patented Akoo Stik drumkit for added Akoo Stik fun!
The kid is really hitting that snare, then looks up to the camera with wide-excited eyes and gasps,
KIDS: AKOO STIKS!
Fade to still of some Akoo Sticks with the price tag still attached and a phone number to order from as a gift or personal purchase.
ANNOUNCER: Actual drum skill may be required to use Akoo Stiks proficiently. Akoo Stik Drum Kit sold separately, some assembly required. Please Akoo Stik responsibly!
Wide-out to a bunch of bright-smiling kids exuberantly playing their Akoo Stiks on a playground while hip drums sound out. They quickly strike a pose together, raise their Akoo Stiks in the air and shout in unison:
KIDS: AKOO STIKS!
The drums are popping! Cut to kids dancing and be-bopping down the street air drumming with their Akoo Stiks as the beat turns funky hip-hop.
ANNOUNCER: That's right, Akoo Stiks! The number 1 selling product for acoustic enthusiasts in the United Arab Emirates is BACK for a limited time only and costing a bargain-basement $59.95!
Cut to an entire family air drumming in their living room, all smiles, with their Akoo Stiks. Together they salute each other, holding their Akoo Stiks up like wine glasses!
FAMILY IN UNISON: AKOO STIKS!
ANNOUNCER: That's right, Akoo Stiks are fun for the whole family!
The family keeps dancing up a storm as they drum on objects in the home while the drum beat turns more rock and roll, thankfully drowning out the obnoxious clanging and dinging of the drum sticks rattling off brass lamps and glass tabletops.
DAD: Looking good, kids!
KIDS: Thanks, Dad!
The dad and his wife share a knowing smile and perform a drum roll in mid air together with their Akoo Stiks!
ANNOUNCER: Akoo Stiks are great for all ages, and guaranteed to ROCK right out of the BOX with no assembly required!
Shot of a kid looking glumly at his crappy opened birthday presents that kids are struggling to assemble in the background. Not liking his prospects he opens another birthday present. His eyes light up as he pulls out a set of Akoo Stiks!
KID: AKOO STIKS!
The other kids look up from their painstaking, stressful and rapidly failing toy assembly to see the guest of honor holding up his Akoo Stiks. The other kids' eyes light up. The parents of the giddy child smile with renewed satisfaction at their choice of presents.
ANNOUNCER: Akoo Stiks are great for travel and for home. You can play them anywhere!
Shot of kids rocking out with their Akoo Stiks in front of a chromakey image of famous Roman architecture!
ANNOUNCER: And now, for even more fun...
Cut to a kid rocking out with his Akoo Stiks on a 12-piece drum kit with the Akoo Stik logo on the kick drum!
ANNOUNCER: ...couple your Akoo Stiks with a patented Akoo Stik drumkit for added Akoo Stik fun!
The kid is really hitting that snare, then looks up to the camera with wide-excited eyes and gasps,
KIDS: AKOO STIKS!
Fade to still of some Akoo Sticks with the price tag still attached and a phone number to order from as a gift or personal purchase.
ANNOUNCER: Actual drum skill may be required to use Akoo Stiks proficiently. Akoo Stik Drum Kit sold separately, some assembly required. Please Akoo Stik responsibly!
The scene opens up to ‘Country Fine’ James Radford sitting at a table in the backstage catering area with Bobby Benson sitting across from him. Its obvious James has had time to clean himself up after his fatal fourway, as he is wearing fresh clothes and his hair is still damp after a shower. Bobby still has on the ridiculous suit, however, and is in the midst of pumping James up over a plate of baked chicken and salad.
BOBBY BENSON: That was a great match, Baby. I’m telling you. One in a million. You knocked it out of the park! James nudges a cherry tomato around his plate with his fork, and shrugs, never looking up from the table.
JAMES RADFORD: I don’t know, Mr. Benson. I think it could have went a little better.
BOBBY BENSON: Are you kidding me! You did exactly what you needed to do out there. It’s not so much about winning or losing as it is about showing that you can get yourself, and the other guys over, and that’s exactly what you did. Your stock is on the rise, son, aren’t you excited?
James finally looks up from his plate, and just as he is about to answer, Samuel Orville Buchanan enters the catering area through the side door. S.O.B. has his back turned to where they are sitting, and doesn’t notice them as he starts plopping chicken and salad onto his plate. He is dressed in street clothes, which was probably his ring attire if James were to make a guess.
BOBBY BENSON: You alright James?
Radford looks over at Benson, having forgotten that he was there, and nods with that casual smile of his.
JAMES RADFORD: Give me just a second, Mr. Benson. I need to speak with my friend over there.
Bobby watches as James Radford gets up from their table and makes his way over to the buffet line to stand beside S.O.B. Buchanan notices the presence off to his side immediately, and turns his trademark scowl on James. It softens just a bit after realizing who it was that had invaded his space, but he quickly steels himself, and returns his attention back to the buffet.
S.O.B.: What you want, Cracka?
James smirks, despite himself, and takes a piece of bread from a basket on the table.
JAMES RADFORD: Just thought I’d come by and say hello. I’m glad that you got my message and were able to get a job with the place. Hell, you’re in a better position than I am, up for a title and all if you win against Austin Gale.
S.O.B. shrugs noncommittally, and continues filling his plate.
S.O.B.: Yeah, I guess we’ll see if that white bread’s got what it takes….
S.O.B. pauses in midsentence, and then turns to face James with the scowl in full effect.
S.O.B.: Is that the only reason you come over here, cracka? To ask me about shit you already know about?
The smile fades from Radford’s face, and his brow furrows.
JAMES RADFORD: I’m just trying to be Neighborly, Sam. Us indy guys have got to stick together.
S.O.B. sits his plate down on the corner of the table, takes in a deep breath, and then turns back on James, getting right in his face.
S.O.B.: Let me tell you something, Cracka. I’ll talk real slow so that you’re country bumpkin ass can understand. I appreciate you turning me onto this place, but we ain’t friends, we ain’t partners, and we ain’t gonna be. The only way for us to be successful in this place is by doing our own thing, and making our own way. So you stay out of my way, and I’ll stay out of yours, and everything we’ll be just fine. If not, I’ll make that fucking cowboy hat part of your god damn anatomy!
S.O.B. snatches his plate from the corner, and stalks out of the room leaving James shaking his head in disbelief. Radford sighs, and then returns to his table, plopping down into the chair beside Bobby.
BOBBY BENSON: Looks like a real friend, to me…
James flashes Bobby a glare, and takes a large bite out of his hunk of bread. Through a mouthful of food, he says…
JAMES RADFORD: Shut up, Bobby.
The scene fades back to ringside.
BOBBY BENSON: That was a great match, Baby. I’m telling you. One in a million. You knocked it out of the park! James nudges a cherry tomato around his plate with his fork, and shrugs, never looking up from the table.
JAMES RADFORD: I don’t know, Mr. Benson. I think it could have went a little better.
BOBBY BENSON: Are you kidding me! You did exactly what you needed to do out there. It’s not so much about winning or losing as it is about showing that you can get yourself, and the other guys over, and that’s exactly what you did. Your stock is on the rise, son, aren’t you excited?
James finally looks up from his plate, and just as he is about to answer, Samuel Orville Buchanan enters the catering area through the side door. S.O.B. has his back turned to where they are sitting, and doesn’t notice them as he starts plopping chicken and salad onto his plate. He is dressed in street clothes, which was probably his ring attire if James were to make a guess.
BOBBY BENSON: You alright James?
Radford looks over at Benson, having forgotten that he was there, and nods with that casual smile of his.
JAMES RADFORD: Give me just a second, Mr. Benson. I need to speak with my friend over there.
Bobby watches as James Radford gets up from their table and makes his way over to the buffet line to stand beside S.O.B. Buchanan notices the presence off to his side immediately, and turns his trademark scowl on James. It softens just a bit after realizing who it was that had invaded his space, but he quickly steels himself, and returns his attention back to the buffet.
S.O.B.: What you want, Cracka?
James smirks, despite himself, and takes a piece of bread from a basket on the table.
JAMES RADFORD: Just thought I’d come by and say hello. I’m glad that you got my message and were able to get a job with the place. Hell, you’re in a better position than I am, up for a title and all if you win against Austin Gale.
S.O.B. shrugs noncommittally, and continues filling his plate.
S.O.B.: Yeah, I guess we’ll see if that white bread’s got what it takes….
S.O.B. pauses in midsentence, and then turns to face James with the scowl in full effect.
S.O.B.: Is that the only reason you come over here, cracka? To ask me about shit you already know about?
The smile fades from Radford’s face, and his brow furrows.
JAMES RADFORD: I’m just trying to be Neighborly, Sam. Us indy guys have got to stick together.
S.O.B. sits his plate down on the corner of the table, takes in a deep breath, and then turns back on James, getting right in his face.
S.O.B.: Let me tell you something, Cracka. I’ll talk real slow so that you’re country bumpkin ass can understand. I appreciate you turning me onto this place, but we ain’t friends, we ain’t partners, and we ain’t gonna be. The only way for us to be successful in this place is by doing our own thing, and making our own way. So you stay out of my way, and I’ll stay out of yours, and everything we’ll be just fine. If not, I’ll make that fucking cowboy hat part of your god damn anatomy!
S.O.B. snatches his plate from the corner, and stalks out of the room leaving James shaking his head in disbelief. Radford sighs, and then returns to his table, plopping down into the chair beside Bobby.
BOBBY BENSON: Looks like a real friend, to me…
James flashes Bobby a glare, and takes a large bite out of his hunk of bread. Through a mouthful of food, he says…
JAMES RADFORD: Shut up, Bobby.
The scene fades back to ringside.
1st Round Qualifier for the Resilience Championship
TRINITY JONES vs. KIMITSU ZOMBIE vs. DOMINIC LAWSON
Right as the bell dings to open the match Trinity Jones lunges for Kimitsu Zombie and flattens her with a facebuster!
BRAD STOKES: That’s one way to start the match off.
NINA APPLEBAUM: With a bang we’re off and running in our first Resilience qualifier of the night between Dominic Lawson, Kimitsu Zombie and Trinity Jones!
Trinity Jones is wailing away mounted punches on Kimitsu Zombie in the center of the ring just as Dom Lawson clears the distance from his corner to them and drops Trinity like a sack of bricks with a hard-hitting knee thrust.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Lawson with the quick cover!
The official doesn’t even manage to slide down to start the cover before Kimitsu’s grabbed hold of Lawson’s ankle and pulled hard enough to break the cover. As Kimitsu rises she traps Dom Lawson into a dragon sleeper but finds the veteran angrily slamming an elbow back into her side forcing her to quickly withdraw! As Lawson rises and turns to face down Kimitsu, Trinity slides forward and wraps an arm through Lawson’s legs and draws him back into a roll-up pin!
1…
NINA APPLEBAUM: And again Kimitsu Zombie is there to break up the pin!
Trinity rises angrily to square off once more with Kimitsu, but this time with different results. Kimitsu smashes an elbow off Trinity’s jaw then floors her with a sitout jawbreaker!
BRAD STOKES: I like this girl. She reminds me of me if I were her.
NINA APPLEBAUM: ….
BRAD STOKES: Just call the match, Nina, I’m waiting for Dom Lawson to drop dead of a heart attack.
Kimitsu is about to slide in for a cover on Trinity but Dom Lawson is there to quickly yank back hard on ½ of the Zombie tag-team’s hair and draw her back to her feet spins her around to keep her off-balance and plants Kimitsu into the canvas hard with a snap DDT!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Thus far, Bradley, Dom Lawson looks anything but about to be deceased.
BRAD STOKES: Would you stop calling me ‘Bradley’? At worst I’ll settle for B-rad. And this Dom Lawson character spit at me so I’m harboring a grudge. He better watch his back.
NINA APPLEBAUM: I’m sure it was an accident.
BRAD STOKES: There are no accidents, Nina.
With Dom Lawson laying swift kicks into the downed Kimitsu, he’s distracted enough to miss Trinity Jones stepping in behind him and locking in a full-nelson and suplexing Dom Lawson back hard on his neck!
BRAD STOKES: See? No accidents there. Totally purposeful.
Trinity goes straight to work capitalizing on Dom’s instant sore neck, readjusting them both so she can trap him in a painful crossface!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Nice control there by Trinity Jones. One of these three is bound to monopolize the advantage eventually.
BRAD STOKES: Two words, Nina: Heart. Attack. That’s three syllables of pain bound to bring my new nemesis, Dom Lawson, to his knees.
NINA APPLEBAUM: You’re merciless, Brad.
BRAD STOKES: Comes with the territory.
Kimitsu charges and drops a painful elbow into Trinity’s side before she can let go, and then angrily grips both of Trinity’s ankles and drops backward, whipping Trinity into the corner turnbuckle facefirst!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Three bruisers going at it. This one will come down to who can take the most punishment.
BRAD STOKES: Cause they’re all good at dishing it out. They don’t call the damned title Resilience for nothing!
As Kimitsu rises to her feet and moves to Trinity who finds herself draped across the turnbuckle, Kimitsu slams some stiff kicks into Trinity’s kidneys before finding herself sandwiched into the corner against Trinity as Dom Lawson rushed in behind her, half-steamrolling her with a shoulder block!
BRAD STOKES: And then there were two.
Dom Lawson, with a grit to his teeth starts slamming kicks into Kimitsu’s back as she is trapped in the corner flush against Trinity Jones!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Nicely done by The Law. This is where his experience pays off versus two of the more fresh-faced members of the Resilience division.
BRAD STOKES: He’s all right, I guess. Still don’t like the way he looked at me.
Lawson is absolutely unloading kicks to Kimitsu’s back before he grips under her arms, pulls her backward and german suplexes her angrily across the ring!
BRAD STOKES: Lawson’s got some brittle bones. Look at how sluggish he looks in there.
NINA APPLEBAUM: He was dropped on his neck!
BRAD STOKES: A fair excuse if he were anyone but the guy who spit at me, Nina.
Lawson’s attention has turned to the vulnerably positioned Trinity Jones who is lurching out of the corner only to find a stiff elbow knocked right into her midsection followed by an expertly performed snapmare takeover by Lawson.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Lawson goes in for the cover!
1…
2…
NINA APPLEBAUM: Kickout by Trinity Jones!
BRAD STOKES: Good thing for Kimitsu Zombie, because she’s not looking so hot after that german suplex.
Lawson is on one knee glaring at Theo Refano. Lawson rises and gets into the ref’s face. It was obviously a slow count and Lawson’s frustration is showing as Trinity Jones takes full advantage coming up behind him, trapping his neck from behind and utilizing all of her leverage to SLAM Lawson down much to his surprise with an inverted suplex!
BRAD STOKES: Damn right! I think I’m ready to call it even with Lawson after that.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Awfully cowardly of you, Bradley.
BRAD STOKES: Yeah, well. Dude shouldn’t have spit at me and I wouldn’t have to pretend like every time one of those broads hits him it’s me doing the hitting, you know?
Trinity looks to get back to where she started on Lawson, setting The Law back into a crossface only to be surprised once by Kimitsu Zombie catching her off-guard once more by the ankles and tugging Trinity right into a double-legged boston crab!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Kimitsu could have her!
BRAD STOKES: Right in the middle of the ring!
The ref slides in to check on Trinity who’s back is being painfully bent like a pretzel by a sneering Kimitsu Zombie and looks about to tap as Dom Lawson struggles to rise. Theo Refano looks ready to call it a submission when Dom grips Theo’s ref pant leg and uses it to rise to a stand, nearly tipping Theo Refano off-balance.
BRAD STOKES: Now that’s a method I can get behind!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Dom Lawson has distracted Theo Refano with an unorthodox distraction tool.
Theo Refano warns Dom, the attention diverted from the fact that Kimitsu is cranking hard on Trinity’ Jones’ back. Trinity squirms awkwardly. Kimitsu’s level of perverse pleasure seems to be increasing the longer Dom draws attention away from the fact Trinity hand is beginning to tap on the canvas. Without warning Dom springs into action, brushing past Theo Refano and plowing Kimitsu’s face into the canvas with a bulldog!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Like he planned it!
BRAD STOKES: That was all right, I guess. I can overlook the spittle now.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Dominic Lawson exploited the referee’s attention to allow Kimitsu to punish Trinity!
Dom Lawson’s got some hop to his step as he crushes elbow after elbow into Kimitsu Zombie’s face before dragging her to her feet and SLAMS her back down with a DDT!
NINA APPLEBAUM: You have to hand it to the Law, he’s playing a strategy that’s so far paid off with dividends.
BRAD STOKES: It’s a difficult game to play, and he’s likely learned that with a green enough referee, like the one the AWE powers-that-be hired in their dubious wisdom, just about any level of distraction is possible. I love it!
With both Trinity and Kimitsu seemingly down, Dom Lawson rises and taunts the crowd to a chorus of angry boos as he snickers and climbs to the top rope.
NINA APPLEBAUM: He’s scouting it. Dom Lawson is about to fly!
Lawson launches off the turnbuckle, aiming an elbow for Kimitsu’s prone form only to see her roll out of the way at the last second and slam home to nothing but canvas!
BRAD STOKES: High risk and no reward there for my former nemesis. I love watching the pendulum swing in matches like these!
NINA APPLEBAUM: They went from trading japes throughout the week to beating the hell out of each other tonight and now it’s up in the air which of these competitors is going to make it through to the next round.
All three are down, Trinity is the first to stir, albeit sluggishly, as she clutches her back and rises to a knee before the ref can ready to count them out. Kimitsu is next up, using the ropes to get her feet under her. As Trinity spies her opponent, Kimitsu half-heartedly grins and almost dares Trinity to come at her!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Trinity better be careful with incitement like that!
Trinity rolls her neck and takes off charging for Kimitsu only to be stunned by a sudden face-full of white mist spewed from the mouth of Kimitsu!
BRAD STOKES: What the…?
Trinity finds herself blindly staggering as Kimitsu chortles before gripping the back of the head of Trinity and driving her facefirst into the canvas with a bulldog that looks like it nearly broke Trinity!
NINA APPLEBAUM: The vaunted white mist of the Aokigahara Zombie!
BRAD STOKES: Is he here? I like the way that guy wears his jacket.
NINA APPLEBAUM: I’m not sure if he’s here, but it’s clear he’s given Kimitsu some of his trademark in-ring applications.
BRAD STOKES: Annnnnd the ref missed the whole thing. Too busy checking on Dom Lawson, naturally…
Dom Lawson has managed to draw the ref over to him for a moment, conveniently distracting once more from the action elsewhere in the ring and giving Lawson a chance to climb to his feet and charge for Kimitsu who has saved a dose of the white mist for him too, but Lawson manages to clothesline her just as she spews it into a plume above them, some of it clearly managing into Dom’s eyes as he stands up angrily rubbing his eyes.
NINA APPLEBAUM: The ref’s got to get a hold on Kimitsu before she kills someone with that mist!
BRAD STOKES: May as well be more spit at this point, Nina. The Ref’s not cluing in!
Trinity is climbing to all fours, wide-eyed and glaring around at the loudly roaring crowd just as Kimitsu is climbing to her feet clutching her throat from the Dom Lawson clothesline and spies The Law regaining his senses and swiftly lands a flurry of punches into Dom’s chest, ducking a clothesline attempt and whipping Dom over with a standing frankensteiner!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Kimitsu Zombie is capitalizing quite nicely on what can only be viewed as an underhanded tactic.
BRAD STOKES: By you, maybe.
Trinity is on her feet and rushing Kimitsu who looks ready to capitalize once more only to find herself Trinity brought down hard with a float over DDT!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Nice execution by Trinity Jones! Whatever that mist does it doesn’t seem to have completely hampered her vision!
Trinity rises to her feet looking woozy as Dom staggers to his feet and angrily charges her only to be surprised by a sudden arm drag that sends Dom skidding across the ring. Trinity drops a leaping knee down onto Dom and goes for the cover!
1…
2..
NINA APPLEBAUM: And Kimitsu is there to break up the pin!
Not only break up the pin but hoist Trinity up and suddenly and unceremoniously dump Trinity over into a bridging german suplex that Trinity roars in agony from!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Surprise suplex by zombie, and the cover!
1..
2…
3!!!
BRAD STOKES: Did the ref see anything? I didn’t see anything. We have our first entrant into the main event, that's all that matters.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Dom Lawson doesn’t look too pleased about it.
Dom slides from the ring, glaring back at Kimitsu as he makes his way back up the ramp rubbing his neck.
BRAD STOKES: And he shouldn’t! He was robbed.
Trinity is stunned by the outcome as she follows suit up the ramp.
NINA APPLEBAUM: They both were!
In the ring, Kimitsu is proudly beaming with her victory as MARSHALLll Douglas steps in with his flashy suit and sunglasses ready to belt it out.
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: AND YOUR WINNERRRRR…… and FIRST Competitor to move on to fight for the Resilience Championship later tonight… KIMITSUUUU… ZOMBIIIIIEEEEE!!!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Not the best way to get this tournament rolling, but at least Kimitsu seems happy.
BRAD STOKES: Every time a zombie wins, Nina, an angel gets its wings.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Then perhaps there’ll be two angels with wings tonight, Bradley. Kimitsu is moving on, but not for a lack of trying on the part of Trinity Jones and Dom Lawson here tonight.
BRAD STOKES: Yeah, well, they can take a seat and pout about it! The main event still awaits!
BRAD STOKES: That’s one way to start the match off.
NINA APPLEBAUM: With a bang we’re off and running in our first Resilience qualifier of the night between Dominic Lawson, Kimitsu Zombie and Trinity Jones!
Trinity Jones is wailing away mounted punches on Kimitsu Zombie in the center of the ring just as Dom Lawson clears the distance from his corner to them and drops Trinity like a sack of bricks with a hard-hitting knee thrust.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Lawson with the quick cover!
The official doesn’t even manage to slide down to start the cover before Kimitsu’s grabbed hold of Lawson’s ankle and pulled hard enough to break the cover. As Kimitsu rises she traps Dom Lawson into a dragon sleeper but finds the veteran angrily slamming an elbow back into her side forcing her to quickly withdraw! As Lawson rises and turns to face down Kimitsu, Trinity slides forward and wraps an arm through Lawson’s legs and draws him back into a roll-up pin!
1…
NINA APPLEBAUM: And again Kimitsu Zombie is there to break up the pin!
Trinity rises angrily to square off once more with Kimitsu, but this time with different results. Kimitsu smashes an elbow off Trinity’s jaw then floors her with a sitout jawbreaker!
BRAD STOKES: I like this girl. She reminds me of me if I were her.
NINA APPLEBAUM: ….
BRAD STOKES: Just call the match, Nina, I’m waiting for Dom Lawson to drop dead of a heart attack.
Kimitsu is about to slide in for a cover on Trinity but Dom Lawson is there to quickly yank back hard on ½ of the Zombie tag-team’s hair and draw her back to her feet spins her around to keep her off-balance and plants Kimitsu into the canvas hard with a snap DDT!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Thus far, Bradley, Dom Lawson looks anything but about to be deceased.
BRAD STOKES: Would you stop calling me ‘Bradley’? At worst I’ll settle for B-rad. And this Dom Lawson character spit at me so I’m harboring a grudge. He better watch his back.
NINA APPLEBAUM: I’m sure it was an accident.
BRAD STOKES: There are no accidents, Nina.
With Dom Lawson laying swift kicks into the downed Kimitsu, he’s distracted enough to miss Trinity Jones stepping in behind him and locking in a full-nelson and suplexing Dom Lawson back hard on his neck!
BRAD STOKES: See? No accidents there. Totally purposeful.
Trinity goes straight to work capitalizing on Dom’s instant sore neck, readjusting them both so she can trap him in a painful crossface!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Nice control there by Trinity Jones. One of these three is bound to monopolize the advantage eventually.
BRAD STOKES: Two words, Nina: Heart. Attack. That’s three syllables of pain bound to bring my new nemesis, Dom Lawson, to his knees.
NINA APPLEBAUM: You’re merciless, Brad.
BRAD STOKES: Comes with the territory.
Kimitsu charges and drops a painful elbow into Trinity’s side before she can let go, and then angrily grips both of Trinity’s ankles and drops backward, whipping Trinity into the corner turnbuckle facefirst!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Three bruisers going at it. This one will come down to who can take the most punishment.
BRAD STOKES: Cause they’re all good at dishing it out. They don’t call the damned title Resilience for nothing!
As Kimitsu rises to her feet and moves to Trinity who finds herself draped across the turnbuckle, Kimitsu slams some stiff kicks into Trinity’s kidneys before finding herself sandwiched into the corner against Trinity as Dom Lawson rushed in behind her, half-steamrolling her with a shoulder block!
BRAD STOKES: And then there were two.
Dom Lawson, with a grit to his teeth starts slamming kicks into Kimitsu’s back as she is trapped in the corner flush against Trinity Jones!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Nicely done by The Law. This is where his experience pays off versus two of the more fresh-faced members of the Resilience division.
BRAD STOKES: He’s all right, I guess. Still don’t like the way he looked at me.
Lawson is absolutely unloading kicks to Kimitsu’s back before he grips under her arms, pulls her backward and german suplexes her angrily across the ring!
BRAD STOKES: Lawson’s got some brittle bones. Look at how sluggish he looks in there.
NINA APPLEBAUM: He was dropped on his neck!
BRAD STOKES: A fair excuse if he were anyone but the guy who spit at me, Nina.
Lawson’s attention has turned to the vulnerably positioned Trinity Jones who is lurching out of the corner only to find a stiff elbow knocked right into her midsection followed by an expertly performed snapmare takeover by Lawson.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Lawson goes in for the cover!
1…
2…
NINA APPLEBAUM: Kickout by Trinity Jones!
BRAD STOKES: Good thing for Kimitsu Zombie, because she’s not looking so hot after that german suplex.
Lawson is on one knee glaring at Theo Refano. Lawson rises and gets into the ref’s face. It was obviously a slow count and Lawson’s frustration is showing as Trinity Jones takes full advantage coming up behind him, trapping his neck from behind and utilizing all of her leverage to SLAM Lawson down much to his surprise with an inverted suplex!
BRAD STOKES: Damn right! I think I’m ready to call it even with Lawson after that.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Awfully cowardly of you, Bradley.
BRAD STOKES: Yeah, well. Dude shouldn’t have spit at me and I wouldn’t have to pretend like every time one of those broads hits him it’s me doing the hitting, you know?
Trinity looks to get back to where she started on Lawson, setting The Law back into a crossface only to be surprised once by Kimitsu Zombie catching her off-guard once more by the ankles and tugging Trinity right into a double-legged boston crab!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Kimitsu could have her!
BRAD STOKES: Right in the middle of the ring!
The ref slides in to check on Trinity who’s back is being painfully bent like a pretzel by a sneering Kimitsu Zombie and looks about to tap as Dom Lawson struggles to rise. Theo Refano looks ready to call it a submission when Dom grips Theo’s ref pant leg and uses it to rise to a stand, nearly tipping Theo Refano off-balance.
BRAD STOKES: Now that’s a method I can get behind!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Dom Lawson has distracted Theo Refano with an unorthodox distraction tool.
Theo Refano warns Dom, the attention diverted from the fact that Kimitsu is cranking hard on Trinity’ Jones’ back. Trinity squirms awkwardly. Kimitsu’s level of perverse pleasure seems to be increasing the longer Dom draws attention away from the fact Trinity hand is beginning to tap on the canvas. Without warning Dom springs into action, brushing past Theo Refano and plowing Kimitsu’s face into the canvas with a bulldog!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Like he planned it!
BRAD STOKES: That was all right, I guess. I can overlook the spittle now.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Dominic Lawson exploited the referee’s attention to allow Kimitsu to punish Trinity!
Dom Lawson’s got some hop to his step as he crushes elbow after elbow into Kimitsu Zombie’s face before dragging her to her feet and SLAMS her back down with a DDT!
NINA APPLEBAUM: You have to hand it to the Law, he’s playing a strategy that’s so far paid off with dividends.
BRAD STOKES: It’s a difficult game to play, and he’s likely learned that with a green enough referee, like the one the AWE powers-that-be hired in their dubious wisdom, just about any level of distraction is possible. I love it!
With both Trinity and Kimitsu seemingly down, Dom Lawson rises and taunts the crowd to a chorus of angry boos as he snickers and climbs to the top rope.
NINA APPLEBAUM: He’s scouting it. Dom Lawson is about to fly!
Lawson launches off the turnbuckle, aiming an elbow for Kimitsu’s prone form only to see her roll out of the way at the last second and slam home to nothing but canvas!
BRAD STOKES: High risk and no reward there for my former nemesis. I love watching the pendulum swing in matches like these!
NINA APPLEBAUM: They went from trading japes throughout the week to beating the hell out of each other tonight and now it’s up in the air which of these competitors is going to make it through to the next round.
All three are down, Trinity is the first to stir, albeit sluggishly, as she clutches her back and rises to a knee before the ref can ready to count them out. Kimitsu is next up, using the ropes to get her feet under her. As Trinity spies her opponent, Kimitsu half-heartedly grins and almost dares Trinity to come at her!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Trinity better be careful with incitement like that!
Trinity rolls her neck and takes off charging for Kimitsu only to be stunned by a sudden face-full of white mist spewed from the mouth of Kimitsu!
BRAD STOKES: What the…?
Trinity finds herself blindly staggering as Kimitsu chortles before gripping the back of the head of Trinity and driving her facefirst into the canvas with a bulldog that looks like it nearly broke Trinity!
NINA APPLEBAUM: The vaunted white mist of the Aokigahara Zombie!
BRAD STOKES: Is he here? I like the way that guy wears his jacket.
NINA APPLEBAUM: I’m not sure if he’s here, but it’s clear he’s given Kimitsu some of his trademark in-ring applications.
BRAD STOKES: Annnnnd the ref missed the whole thing. Too busy checking on Dom Lawson, naturally…
Dom Lawson has managed to draw the ref over to him for a moment, conveniently distracting once more from the action elsewhere in the ring and giving Lawson a chance to climb to his feet and charge for Kimitsu who has saved a dose of the white mist for him too, but Lawson manages to clothesline her just as she spews it into a plume above them, some of it clearly managing into Dom’s eyes as he stands up angrily rubbing his eyes.
NINA APPLEBAUM: The ref’s got to get a hold on Kimitsu before she kills someone with that mist!
BRAD STOKES: May as well be more spit at this point, Nina. The Ref’s not cluing in!
Trinity is climbing to all fours, wide-eyed and glaring around at the loudly roaring crowd just as Kimitsu is climbing to her feet clutching her throat from the Dom Lawson clothesline and spies The Law regaining his senses and swiftly lands a flurry of punches into Dom’s chest, ducking a clothesline attempt and whipping Dom over with a standing frankensteiner!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Kimitsu Zombie is capitalizing quite nicely on what can only be viewed as an underhanded tactic.
BRAD STOKES: By you, maybe.
Trinity is on her feet and rushing Kimitsu who looks ready to capitalize once more only to find herself Trinity brought down hard with a float over DDT!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Nice execution by Trinity Jones! Whatever that mist does it doesn’t seem to have completely hampered her vision!
Trinity rises to her feet looking woozy as Dom staggers to his feet and angrily charges her only to be surprised by a sudden arm drag that sends Dom skidding across the ring. Trinity drops a leaping knee down onto Dom and goes for the cover!
1…
2..
NINA APPLEBAUM: And Kimitsu is there to break up the pin!
Not only break up the pin but hoist Trinity up and suddenly and unceremoniously dump Trinity over into a bridging german suplex that Trinity roars in agony from!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Surprise suplex by zombie, and the cover!
1..
2…
3!!!
DING! DING! DING!
NINA APPLEBAUM: I really can’t believe that. Kimitsu may not have pulled that off if it weren’t for whatever that white mist was… Midori's "Sayanora, Perfect World" starts in as Kimitsu bounces up to a stand and a wide, taunting smile on her face as the crowd boos their distaste.
BRAD STOKES: Did the ref see anything? I didn’t see anything. We have our first entrant into the main event, that's all that matters.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Dom Lawson doesn’t look too pleased about it.
Dom slides from the ring, glaring back at Kimitsu as he makes his way back up the ramp rubbing his neck.
BRAD STOKES: And he shouldn’t! He was robbed.
Trinity is stunned by the outcome as she follows suit up the ramp.
NINA APPLEBAUM: They both were!
In the ring, Kimitsu is proudly beaming with her victory as MARSHALLll Douglas steps in with his flashy suit and sunglasses ready to belt it out.
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: AND YOUR WINNERRRRR…… and FIRST Competitor to move on to fight for the Resilience Championship later tonight… KIMITSUUUU… ZOMBIIIIIEEEEE!!!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Not the best way to get this tournament rolling, but at least Kimitsu seems happy.
BRAD STOKES: Every time a zombie wins, Nina, an angel gets its wings.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Then perhaps there’ll be two angels with wings tonight, Bradley. Kimitsu is moving on, but not for a lack of trying on the part of Trinity Jones and Dom Lawson here tonight.
BRAD STOKES: Yeah, well, they can take a seat and pout about it! The main event still awaits!
Ice Cube's "Check Yo Self" is blaring, the smooth, catchy and recognizable synth is pumping with the bassline as Nate bobs his head. As the cameras fade in on him the music volume lowers and Nate is back in center stage.
NATE HOLLIS: I'm telling you, there's a lot of ways to win a match these days, but that victory by Kimitsu Zombie is bound to leave a bad taste in anybody's mouth. Did you see Dom Lawson? A veteran of that caliber being robbed like that is sure to make the Law angry, and I might not wanna be Kimitsu, or Brad Stokes for that matter, when Dom Lawson comes for certain retaliation. And what about Trinity Jones? Can she really be disappointed? Perhaps. They probably both can be seeing as they didn't walk away with a big old 'W', that's the bottom line isn't it? Instead, we have two top-quality talents who now have to watch from the sidelines as Kimitsu Zombie, perhaps unfairly, competes for the Resilience Championship.
Nate Hollis dwells on what he's just said solemnly.
NATE HOLLIS: But all is not lost, and nothing is ever set in stone. It's like my man, the late, great, now deceased former COO of this company, T.S. Elliot said, that division isn't for the quitters and crybabies. Even if Kimitsu wins in the main event and takes home that prize, to say nothing of the fact that we don't yet know what sort of badass opponent's she's squaring off against, she's going to have to defend that thing every damn Massacre, and revenge, if not resilience, is always on the docket when it comes to the type of bad blood Kimitsu just drummed up.
Speaking of, we have another qualifying match to see who else is going to be vying for that Resilience Championship on-tap! We don't keep you waiting long. Let's see who else is going to test their mettle in tonight's main event as the AWE pits my boy, the S.O.B. himself, yet another PAW alumnus of sorts against the gale force itself, Mr. Austin Gale in the second Resilience Championship qualifying match of the evening. Right now on AWE Massacre.
NATE HOLLIS: I'm telling you, there's a lot of ways to win a match these days, but that victory by Kimitsu Zombie is bound to leave a bad taste in anybody's mouth. Did you see Dom Lawson? A veteran of that caliber being robbed like that is sure to make the Law angry, and I might not wanna be Kimitsu, or Brad Stokes for that matter, when Dom Lawson comes for certain retaliation. And what about Trinity Jones? Can she really be disappointed? Perhaps. They probably both can be seeing as they didn't walk away with a big old 'W', that's the bottom line isn't it? Instead, we have two top-quality talents who now have to watch from the sidelines as Kimitsu Zombie, perhaps unfairly, competes for the Resilience Championship.
Nate Hollis dwells on what he's just said solemnly.
NATE HOLLIS: But all is not lost, and nothing is ever set in stone. It's like my man, the late, great, now deceased former COO of this company, T.S. Elliot said, that division isn't for the quitters and crybabies. Even if Kimitsu wins in the main event and takes home that prize, to say nothing of the fact that we don't yet know what sort of badass opponent's she's squaring off against, she's going to have to defend that thing every damn Massacre, and revenge, if not resilience, is always on the docket when it comes to the type of bad blood Kimitsu just drummed up.
Speaking of, we have another qualifying match to see who else is going to be vying for that Resilience Championship on-tap! We don't keep you waiting long. Let's see who else is going to test their mettle in tonight's main event as the AWE pits my boy, the S.O.B. himself, yet another PAW alumnus of sorts against the gale force itself, Mr. Austin Gale in the second Resilience Championship qualifying match of the evening. Right now on AWE Massacre.
1st Round Qualifier for the Resilience Championship
S.O.B. VS. Austin Gale
BRAD STOKES: THAT SON OF A BITCH IS UNLOADING ON AUSTIN GALE, NINA!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Calm down, Bradley. And it’s S.O.B.
BRAD STOKES: I know what it damn well stands for!
At the announce table, Brad Stokes has stood up and pointed into the ring as S.O.B. has Austin Gale trapped in the corner and hasn’t let up with furious rights, and lefts, trading up punches for kicks and nearly flattening Austin Gale in the onslaught!
NINA APPLEBAUM: If you’re just joining us here for AWE’s Massacre, S.O.B has come out of the gate strong against Austin Gale.
BRAD STOKES: I’ll say, this son of a bitch is blowing his load in the first minute at this rate!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Will you PLEASE call him S.O.B.?
BRAD STOKES: Am I the only one that notices anything around here? It stands for—
The crowd has popped as Austin Gale has turned the tables unexpectedly, blocking a fiery S.O.B haymaker and turned the former PAW enhancement talent into the corner now as Austin Gale unloads answering punch after punch that rocks S.O.B.
NINA APPLEBAUM: These two want that Resilience Championship badly!
The crowd is about as on fire as these two as S.O.B. blocks an Austin Gale punch, sends a kick into Austin’s midsection and spins him around into a DDT planting Austin headfirst and somersaulting Austin into the middle of the ring. S.O.B. rolls to a stand, rolling his neck and red-faced from the exchange of furious blows. S.O.B. finds himself staring at a fast-rising Austin Gale that catches S.O.B off-guard and suddenly hits him with a snap suplex!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Rumor has it Austin Gale has connections to former BFW and PAW superstar Adam Wolfe, and he is not one to take lightly, so...
BRAD STOKES: Well, with a son of a bitch in the—
NINA APPLEBAUM: Bradley.
BRAD STOKES: You can call me Bradley if I can call that cracka-spewing son of a bitch by his name, all right?
NINA APPLEBAUM: I am not negotiating. Austin Gale gets S.O.B. up and sends him running for the corner with an irish whip!
S.O.B. slams hard into the corner turnbuckle and Austin Gale follows him in hard and fast gripping S.O.B. from behind, spring boarding off the corner and bulldogs S.O.B. down hard!
BRAD STOKES: Austin Gale’s a furious fighter. With focus like that he’s clean the clock of the guy who’s real name we’re all avoiding for some reason.
NINA APPLEBAUM: We’re not avoiding it. His name is S.O.B. And Austin Gale goes for the cover!
1..
NINA APPLEBAUM: S.O.B. kicks out!
Austin goes to work getting S.O.B to his feet only reel backwards from a sudden reverse headbutt to Gale’s chin. S.O.B. straightens and goes to work unloading still more furious lefts and rights to back Austin Gale up against the ropes before launching him for the ropes! On the way back Austin surprises a ducking S.O.B. with a sunset flip into a pin!
1…
2…
BRAD STOKES: Son of B kicks out. Better?
NINA APPLEBAUM: Making progress. Neither of these two seem to be able to settle on the upperhand, as it were.
BRAD STOKES: You have to remember that as much as S.O.B. and Austin Gale are relatively unknown quantities in the world of wrestling, S.O.B.’s done time in the PAW Enhancement talent. That’s work, Nina. And you only need a passing glance of Austin Gale in that ring right now to realize that he’s not exactly a stranger to the squared circle, either.
S.O.B. and Austin are on their feet, but it’s Austin who surprises S.O.B. with a capture suplex that sends the former enhancement talent flying across the ring. Austin rolls to a seat and smirks out at the crowd who have settled slightly as the match takes a more controlled tone. As Austin rises, and turns he gives a charge at S.O.B. who’s remarkably recomposed himself and gotten out of the way of an Austin Gale soccerball kick, risen and surprised Gale with a german suplex that he doesn’t let go of!
NINA APPLEBAUM: It’s The O.G.!
But as S.O.B. is about to follow up with a second german suplex, Austin manages to deftly slip free of S.O.B.’s grasp and wedged a hard elbow into S.O.B.’s stomach causing him to double over.
BRAD STOKES: No it’s not.
Austin backs up and slams a scissor kick down onto the back of S.O.B’s head!
BRAD STOKES: Vicious follow-up there by Austin Gale.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Austin Gale has managed an answer to much of S.O.B’s offense so far!
BRAD STOKES: It’s a quality mixture of solid ring awareness and luck when you boil it down, Nina.
Austin grips S.O.B. by the head and drags him to his feet; with a grin he slams downward punches into S.O.B. to keep him on all fours with brutality. Austin lifts S.O.B. to his feet only to be stunned by a sudden jawbreaker that floors Austin onto his back. S.O.B. rolls onto Austin for a cover!
1…
NINA APPLEBAUM: Kickout just past 1 for S.O.B.
BRAD STOKES: Unfortunate names aside, S.O.B. can take a beating. Probably learned that jobbing to the heavy-hitters over at PAW, I reckon.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Could be a reasonable guess, but I suspect there’s more to him than your jabs would indicate.
BRAD STOKES: Am I not allowed to be a jerk here, Nina? Isn’t that my job, for god's sakes? For the love of Caroline Burchill!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Yes, yes. Do as you please, but please keep your feet off the announce table.
BRAD STOKES: *Sigh*
Austin Gale slides onto all fours and S.O.B. swoops in swiftly and quickly locks Austin into a rolling armbar!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Quick capitalization there by S.O.B on Austin Gale!
BRAD STOKES: Too close to the ropes.
Indeed, true to Stokes’ observation, Austin angrily lands a foot onto the bottom rope and the official points it out to S.O.B. who refuses to acknowledge the rope break! Theo Refano urges S.O.B. to let go, and he reluctantly does just as the ref is about to start the count.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Reluctant to let go, S.O.B. and Austin Gale may be almost too fitting a match in this AWE’s first ever massacre.
BRAD STOKES: Why, because they both seem to enjoy doling out the punishment as needed? I’ll tell you how this ends, Nina, because I’ve seen it all. One of these two is going to go a step too far and get his ass disqualified.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Interesting prediction.
BRAD STOKES: Do I look like a groundhog? This truth I convey is just that, truth.
Austin Gale has slid his way under the ropes and stalks the outside to catch a breather as S.O.B. stalks him from the inside like a cage panther ready to strike. Austin gloats at the fans who seem eager to either take a swing at him or at least pathim on the back. Austin spits at the crowd before rounding one ring post and quickly steps onto the ring apron. He glares at S.O.B., daring him to deny him entry.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Mind games from Austin Gale.
BRAD STOKES: Somehow I doubt this is the type of opponent Austin Gale is fully used to. In the immortal words of some guy, “homie don’t play that.”
S.O.B. enjoys the sport, letting Austin slip into the ring before moving at him and forcing Austin into a tie-up! Austin comes out the better, locking S.O.B. into a side headlock and takes S.O.B. down to the canvas and applies more pressure to the headlock!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Austin Gale may underestimate S.O.B. but he’s not out of his depth so far.
Austin lets loose some punches down into S.O.B.’s face before forcing S.O.B. back up to his feet still in the headlock before whipping him back down in another headlock takedown and maintains the headlock! Austin once more forces S.O.B. up to his feet only this time S.O.B. surprises with a sudden heave into the air and DROPS Austin down with an atomic drop right onto Austin’s tailbone. S.O.B follows it up with a vicious Russian legsweep full of animosity!
NINA APPLEBAUM: S.O.B. goes for the cover!
1…
2…
NINA APPLEBAUM: Kickout after 2!
BRAD STOKES: Austin’s lacking a clear strategy so far. If the name of the game is sheer punishment, like we’ve noticed already, he’s up against someone who’s out for the same thing.
S.O.B. grips Austin’s neck and tugs him to his feet, giving a confident thrust of his hand into the air, implying he’s about to send Austin skyward, only to be surprised by a bridging northern lights suplex!
1…
2…
NINA APPLEBAUM: KICKOUT JUST AS THE REF WAS ABOUT CALL IT AT THREE!
BRAD STOKES: Austin has, however, proven a deft ability to pull out the unexpected. I don’t think S.O.B. has as many answer for Gale’s offense, as Gale has for S.O.B!
Austin is getting frustrated as he watches S.O.B. roll his way out of the ring, his turn now to pace the outside as Austin runs his hands through his hair and brings himself to a stand.
NINA APPLEBAUM: S.O.B gathers his bearings outside the ring, while Austin Gale gathers his inside the ring. These two seem evenly matched so far.
S.O.B. slides under the ropes back into the ring but Austin allows no grace period, immediately racing to halt S.O.B. where he is by stomping down onto S.O.B. with hard stomps!
BRAD STOKES: Got him there. S.O.B. must’ve been expecting the same mercy from Austin that he gave him. No dice, buddy, hahahaha!
Austin keeps firing boots down on S.O.B. before heaving him to his feet and moving in for a belly-to-belly clutch. But before Austin can follow through he’s staggered backwards by a sudden headbutt. S.O.B. quickly follows in and slams an elbow to further stun Austin before suddenly setting him into a lifting DDT!
NINA APPLEBAUM: DEAD ON ARRIVAL!
BRAD STOKES: WHAT?!
S.O.B. drops Austin with brutality before quickly rolling him over for the cover!
1…
2..
3!!
DING! DING! DING!
‘You are now about to witness the strength of street knowledge.’ The crowd pops as “Straight Outta Compton” by the NWA drums onto the speakers and S.O.B clamors to his feet looking pumped by his victory.
NINA APPLEBAUM: An unexpected and sudden finish to a hard-fought battle!
BRAD STOKES: Definitely not how I saw it going to start, Nina. But I think there’s enough there to indicate these two haven’t seen the last of one another.
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: YOUR WINNNNNNERRR! The SECOND Entrant into the Resilience Championship main event… victorious by pinfall… S…. O…. B!!!!
BRAD STOKES: That colorful cat should be a singer.
NINA APPLEBAUM: He was a singer.
BRAD STOKES: Well then he should go back there and do that. He’s getting on my nerves. NEXT MATCHUP!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Calm down, Bradley. And it’s S.O.B.
BRAD STOKES: I know what it damn well stands for!
At the announce table, Brad Stokes has stood up and pointed into the ring as S.O.B. has Austin Gale trapped in the corner and hasn’t let up with furious rights, and lefts, trading up punches for kicks and nearly flattening Austin Gale in the onslaught!
NINA APPLEBAUM: If you’re just joining us here for AWE’s Massacre, S.O.B has come out of the gate strong against Austin Gale.
BRAD STOKES: I’ll say, this son of a bitch is blowing his load in the first minute at this rate!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Will you PLEASE call him S.O.B.?
BRAD STOKES: Am I the only one that notices anything around here? It stands for—
The crowd has popped as Austin Gale has turned the tables unexpectedly, blocking a fiery S.O.B haymaker and turned the former PAW enhancement talent into the corner now as Austin Gale unloads answering punch after punch that rocks S.O.B.
NINA APPLEBAUM: These two want that Resilience Championship badly!
The crowd is about as on fire as these two as S.O.B. blocks an Austin Gale punch, sends a kick into Austin’s midsection and spins him around into a DDT planting Austin headfirst and somersaulting Austin into the middle of the ring. S.O.B. rolls to a stand, rolling his neck and red-faced from the exchange of furious blows. S.O.B. finds himself staring at a fast-rising Austin Gale that catches S.O.B off-guard and suddenly hits him with a snap suplex!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Rumor has it Austin Gale has connections to former BFW and PAW superstar Adam Wolfe, and he is not one to take lightly, so...
BRAD STOKES: Well, with a son of a bitch in the—
NINA APPLEBAUM: Bradley.
BRAD STOKES: You can call me Bradley if I can call that cracka-spewing son of a bitch by his name, all right?
NINA APPLEBAUM: I am not negotiating. Austin Gale gets S.O.B. up and sends him running for the corner with an irish whip!
S.O.B. slams hard into the corner turnbuckle and Austin Gale follows him in hard and fast gripping S.O.B. from behind, spring boarding off the corner and bulldogs S.O.B. down hard!
BRAD STOKES: Austin Gale’s a furious fighter. With focus like that he’s clean the clock of the guy who’s real name we’re all avoiding for some reason.
NINA APPLEBAUM: We’re not avoiding it. His name is S.O.B. And Austin Gale goes for the cover!
1..
NINA APPLEBAUM: S.O.B. kicks out!
Austin goes to work getting S.O.B to his feet only reel backwards from a sudden reverse headbutt to Gale’s chin. S.O.B. straightens and goes to work unloading still more furious lefts and rights to back Austin Gale up against the ropes before launching him for the ropes! On the way back Austin surprises a ducking S.O.B. with a sunset flip into a pin!
1…
2…
BRAD STOKES: Son of B kicks out. Better?
NINA APPLEBAUM: Making progress. Neither of these two seem to be able to settle on the upperhand, as it were.
BRAD STOKES: You have to remember that as much as S.O.B. and Austin Gale are relatively unknown quantities in the world of wrestling, S.O.B.’s done time in the PAW Enhancement talent. That’s work, Nina. And you only need a passing glance of Austin Gale in that ring right now to realize that he’s not exactly a stranger to the squared circle, either.
S.O.B. and Austin are on their feet, but it’s Austin who surprises S.O.B. with a capture suplex that sends the former enhancement talent flying across the ring. Austin rolls to a seat and smirks out at the crowd who have settled slightly as the match takes a more controlled tone. As Austin rises, and turns he gives a charge at S.O.B. who’s remarkably recomposed himself and gotten out of the way of an Austin Gale soccerball kick, risen and surprised Gale with a german suplex that he doesn’t let go of!
NINA APPLEBAUM: It’s The O.G.!
But as S.O.B. is about to follow up with a second german suplex, Austin manages to deftly slip free of S.O.B.’s grasp and wedged a hard elbow into S.O.B.’s stomach causing him to double over.
BRAD STOKES: No it’s not.
Austin backs up and slams a scissor kick down onto the back of S.O.B’s head!
BRAD STOKES: Vicious follow-up there by Austin Gale.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Austin Gale has managed an answer to much of S.O.B’s offense so far!
BRAD STOKES: It’s a quality mixture of solid ring awareness and luck when you boil it down, Nina.
Austin grips S.O.B. by the head and drags him to his feet; with a grin he slams downward punches into S.O.B. to keep him on all fours with brutality. Austin lifts S.O.B. to his feet only to be stunned by a sudden jawbreaker that floors Austin onto his back. S.O.B. rolls onto Austin for a cover!
1…
NINA APPLEBAUM: Kickout just past 1 for S.O.B.
BRAD STOKES: Unfortunate names aside, S.O.B. can take a beating. Probably learned that jobbing to the heavy-hitters over at PAW, I reckon.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Could be a reasonable guess, but I suspect there’s more to him than your jabs would indicate.
BRAD STOKES: Am I not allowed to be a jerk here, Nina? Isn’t that my job, for god's sakes? For the love of Caroline Burchill!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Yes, yes. Do as you please, but please keep your feet off the announce table.
BRAD STOKES: *Sigh*
Austin Gale slides onto all fours and S.O.B. swoops in swiftly and quickly locks Austin into a rolling armbar!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Quick capitalization there by S.O.B on Austin Gale!
BRAD STOKES: Too close to the ropes.
Indeed, true to Stokes’ observation, Austin angrily lands a foot onto the bottom rope and the official points it out to S.O.B. who refuses to acknowledge the rope break! Theo Refano urges S.O.B. to let go, and he reluctantly does just as the ref is about to start the count.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Reluctant to let go, S.O.B. and Austin Gale may be almost too fitting a match in this AWE’s first ever massacre.
BRAD STOKES: Why, because they both seem to enjoy doling out the punishment as needed? I’ll tell you how this ends, Nina, because I’ve seen it all. One of these two is going to go a step too far and get his ass disqualified.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Interesting prediction.
BRAD STOKES: Do I look like a groundhog? This truth I convey is just that, truth.
Austin Gale has slid his way under the ropes and stalks the outside to catch a breather as S.O.B. stalks him from the inside like a cage panther ready to strike. Austin gloats at the fans who seem eager to either take a swing at him or at least pathim on the back. Austin spits at the crowd before rounding one ring post and quickly steps onto the ring apron. He glares at S.O.B., daring him to deny him entry.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Mind games from Austin Gale.
BRAD STOKES: Somehow I doubt this is the type of opponent Austin Gale is fully used to. In the immortal words of some guy, “homie don’t play that.”
S.O.B. enjoys the sport, letting Austin slip into the ring before moving at him and forcing Austin into a tie-up! Austin comes out the better, locking S.O.B. into a side headlock and takes S.O.B. down to the canvas and applies more pressure to the headlock!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Austin Gale may underestimate S.O.B. but he’s not out of his depth so far.
Austin lets loose some punches down into S.O.B.’s face before forcing S.O.B. back up to his feet still in the headlock before whipping him back down in another headlock takedown and maintains the headlock! Austin once more forces S.O.B. up to his feet only this time S.O.B. surprises with a sudden heave into the air and DROPS Austin down with an atomic drop right onto Austin’s tailbone. S.O.B follows it up with a vicious Russian legsweep full of animosity!
NINA APPLEBAUM: S.O.B. goes for the cover!
1…
2…
NINA APPLEBAUM: Kickout after 2!
BRAD STOKES: Austin’s lacking a clear strategy so far. If the name of the game is sheer punishment, like we’ve noticed already, he’s up against someone who’s out for the same thing.
S.O.B. grips Austin’s neck and tugs him to his feet, giving a confident thrust of his hand into the air, implying he’s about to send Austin skyward, only to be surprised by a bridging northern lights suplex!
1…
2…
NINA APPLEBAUM: KICKOUT JUST AS THE REF WAS ABOUT CALL IT AT THREE!
BRAD STOKES: Austin has, however, proven a deft ability to pull out the unexpected. I don’t think S.O.B. has as many answer for Gale’s offense, as Gale has for S.O.B!
Austin is getting frustrated as he watches S.O.B. roll his way out of the ring, his turn now to pace the outside as Austin runs his hands through his hair and brings himself to a stand.
NINA APPLEBAUM: S.O.B gathers his bearings outside the ring, while Austin Gale gathers his inside the ring. These two seem evenly matched so far.
S.O.B. slides under the ropes back into the ring but Austin allows no grace period, immediately racing to halt S.O.B. where he is by stomping down onto S.O.B. with hard stomps!
BRAD STOKES: Got him there. S.O.B. must’ve been expecting the same mercy from Austin that he gave him. No dice, buddy, hahahaha!
Austin keeps firing boots down on S.O.B. before heaving him to his feet and moving in for a belly-to-belly clutch. But before Austin can follow through he’s staggered backwards by a sudden headbutt. S.O.B. quickly follows in and slams an elbow to further stun Austin before suddenly setting him into a lifting DDT!
NINA APPLEBAUM: DEAD ON ARRIVAL!
BRAD STOKES: WHAT?!
S.O.B. drops Austin with brutality before quickly rolling him over for the cover!
1…
2..
3!!
DING! DING! DING!
NINA APPLEBAUM: An unexpected and sudden finish to a hard-fought battle!
BRAD STOKES: Definitely not how I saw it going to start, Nina. But I think there’s enough there to indicate these two haven’t seen the last of one another.
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: YOUR WINNNNNNERRR! The SECOND Entrant into the Resilience Championship main event… victorious by pinfall… S…. O…. B!!!!
BRAD STOKES: That colorful cat should be a singer.
NINA APPLEBAUM: He was a singer.
BRAD STOKES: Well then he should go back there and do that. He’s getting on my nerves. NEXT MATCHUP!
Back to Nathan Hollis' grinning face as "Bring the Pain" by Method Man is grooving on the speaker system. The volume lowers as Nate Hollis is back on the mic.
NATE HOLLIS: And like that, the momentum of a match shifts in unexpected ways. I don't honestly think either of those men expected that outcome, but in the blink of an eye we have our second contender for the Resilience title in my main man, S.O.B., or Samuel Orville Buchanen as my close but sadly ignorant colleague Brad Stokes neglected to inform all those fans out there who just took a shine to the man from Knoxville, Tennesee. So, with that, we now know who Kimitsu Zombie will be squaring off against with one final entrant still to be decided, and let me tell you, folks, if you haven't been paying attention to the social media outlets you have been missing out on the hype of the century for quite possibly, no joke, the most anticipated match of the night.
Nate's trademark grin grows ever wider as he enters into hype mode.
NATE HOLLIS: I'm talking about my girl, the Dark Horse herself Carmen Cambridge, Former UWA Pride Champion Benny Stevens, and everyone's Fantanasy, Zack Fantana. That's right, fight fans, the best is still yet to come as we see someone emerge out of that shark tank to challenge two more individuals for the chance to be crowned the first ever AWE Resilience Champion. And if you think that's enough to keep your ass parked right where it is, we're going to see the continuation of some of the bitterest bad blood in the wrestling industry today ready to boil completely over when The Queen herself Caroline O'Hara Burchill faces off against one of the toughest bitches to walk the mat in Anastasia Hayden! And it's all still to come on AWE Massacre, fans. Stay tuned... after this.
NATE HOLLIS: And like that, the momentum of a match shifts in unexpected ways. I don't honestly think either of those men expected that outcome, but in the blink of an eye we have our second contender for the Resilience title in my main man, S.O.B., or Samuel Orville Buchanen as my close but sadly ignorant colleague Brad Stokes neglected to inform all those fans out there who just took a shine to the man from Knoxville, Tennesee. So, with that, we now know who Kimitsu Zombie will be squaring off against with one final entrant still to be decided, and let me tell you, folks, if you haven't been paying attention to the social media outlets you have been missing out on the hype of the century for quite possibly, no joke, the most anticipated match of the night.
Nate's trademark grin grows ever wider as he enters into hype mode.
NATE HOLLIS: I'm talking about my girl, the Dark Horse herself Carmen Cambridge, Former UWA Pride Champion Benny Stevens, and everyone's Fantanasy, Zack Fantana. That's right, fight fans, the best is still yet to come as we see someone emerge out of that shark tank to challenge two more individuals for the chance to be crowned the first ever AWE Resilience Champion. And if you think that's enough to keep your ass parked right where it is, we're going to see the continuation of some of the bitterest bad blood in the wrestling industry today ready to boil completely over when The Queen herself Caroline O'Hara Burchill faces off against one of the toughest bitches to walk the mat in Anastasia Hayden! And it's all still to come on AWE Massacre, fans. Stay tuned... after this.
La siguiente vista previa ha sido aprobada para todos los públicos por el movimiento
The faint haunting melody of a children's nondescript nursery rhyme is sung by a little girl's voice.
Intercut images of a peaceful home in some snowy suburb where lives a peaceful family with a little girl, Molly, on Christmas morning receiving a present.
MOLLY: What is it?
Molly looks excitedly to her father and mother watching her with love.
FATHER: Open it.
Molly opens her present. Quick cut to Molly looks down at her brand new Etch-A-Sketch. She runs a finger along the smooth plastic side lovingly.
MOLLY: It's just what I always wanted!
Smiles all around. Molly begins Etch-a-Sketching.
Molly is in her room alone Etch-a-Sketching.
From downstairs her mother calls her
MOLLY'S MOTHER: Molly? Are you alone up there?
Molly watches wide-eyed and terrified as the empty Etch-a-Sketch screen hauntingly scrawls a message on its own to her:
The sound of sudden-stop tension! Jumpcut to Molly's face twisting towards a sinister evil smile. Intense creepy music. A child's hand grips the handle of a knife and slides it from the wood block. Molly grins evilly.
The nursery rhyme sounds so innocent!
MOLLY'S TEACHER'S VOICE OVER: Have you noticed anything different about Molly since Christmas?
Cut to Molly's mom in a parent-teacher conference. She shakes her head at the teacher thoughtfully.
MOLLY'S MOTHER: Not really, she's just been spending a lot of time on her Etch-a-Sketch.
Molly's mom smiles dismissively as Molly's teacher looks gravely serious.
MOLLY'S TEACHER: There's something very wrong with that Etch-a-Sketch.
MOLLY'S MOM: What, are you saying it's possessed?
The teacher's face eerily cocks to one side.
MOLLY'S TEACHER: No... I'm saying Molly is.
Molly's Mom snickers in awkward disbelief.
MOLLY'S MOM: By an Etch-a-Sketch?
MOLLY'S TEACHER: She drew this...
Jumpcut to the teacher's horrified face gleaming of the shiny blade of a knife held in the grip of a child's fingers all drawn on the Etch-a-Sketch in immaculate detail.
MOLLY'S MOM: That's... that's impossible...
Panicked screams. The lullaby intensifies. It is Molly's voice singing a nursery rhyme.
The sound of the Etch-a-Sketch rollers slowly scrawling: Behind You! Molly's mom cries in terror looking down on it, her hands not even touching the toy.
The shadow of Molly looms behind her.
MOLLY: Hello, mother dear.
The intense music intensifies as Molly's mom turns around! Little arms raise a knife blade overhead.
MOLLY'S MOM: MOLLY, NO!
Sudden cut to the end title screen with the title of the movie being scrawled onto the face of the Etch-a-Sketch voiced and reiterated by the scary movie narrator as the eerie sound of the nursery rhyme fades.
In Theatres This Christmas...
Quick shot of the knife blade sliding down with gruesome finality!
1st Round Qualifier for the Resilience Championship
Benny Stevens VS. Zack Fantana VS. Carmen Cambridge
NINA APPLEBAUM: And it’s that time folks. The final Resilience Championship qualifier of the night, and this one promises to be a doozy! Well they all have been doozies, so far, and well worth the price of admission, but--
BRAD STOKES: No, let me tell you something Nina. These three are some of the biggest fish currently in the AWE pond to start off. Sure everyone admires Dom Lawson’s edgy aesthetic, and many of us are curious what the hell is in that white mist of Kimitsu Zombie’s… but these three are the ones that drew at least half of these people to this ridiculous stadium tonight.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Hard to argue if only for the simple fact that you tend not accept logic or reason, Bradley.
BRAD STOKES: And I never will, Nina.
At the ding of the bell all three charge out from their respective corners with Benny Stevens the first to fire a stiff side kick at Carmen, she sidesteps it like a pro, whips around Benny and drops him like a bad habit with a sidekick of her own and the crowd erupts! Zack Fantana is in the midst of stepping in to Carmen but finds himself walking right into a discus punch that flattens Fantana into the canvas!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Carmen Cambridge comes out firing on all cylinders.
Carmen bounces up to her feet and ignites the crowd. But the other two aren’t down for long. Benny Stevens manages to roll up to his feet and adjust this time backhanding a hard right elbow square into Carmen’s back and staggers her forward and Benny follows through with more hard-hitting knife-edge chops to back Carmen up into the ropes!
BRAD STOKES: Hot damn listen to the crowd.
NINA APPLEBAUM: From the opening bell in our opening bout, this crowd has been treated to top caliber wrestling, Bradley.
BRAD STOKES: Openers shmopeners. These three are where the hype’s at.
Benny launches Carmen across the ring for the opposing ropes, on the rebound Zack Fantana is there to bounce Carmen down off the mat with a drop-toe hold and kick-flip up to an impressive stand glaring down Benny Stevens who feints sideways to test Zack, who looks poised and ready for Benny to make the first move. It’s a standoff.
NINA APPLEBAUM: The level of tension between these three has been raising since this match was announced.
BRAD STOKES: And now for the payoff, Nina. I don’t know who to put money on so I bet on all three cause I’m smart like that.
Behind Zack is Carmen rising up and pulling Zack over in a sudden rollup!
1…
NINA APPLEBAUM: Quick kickout by Zack.
BRAD STOKES: These two boyos, as Benny would call them, need to pay closer attention to Carmen,that chick has been lethal for years.
Carmen bounces up to her feet without dwelling on the missed pin and once more ducks an incoming heavy-handed Benny Stevens haymaker. She loops under the arm, tugs it backwards and drives Benny’s neck down into the canvas with a full-nelson suplex right into a pin!
1…
NINA APPLEBAUM: And Benny Stevens kicks out after 1!
Carmen is electric in the ring as she rises to her feet once more in time to see Zack Fantana burst in on her and sends her flying with an exploder suplex!
BRAD STOKES: Dog eat dog is right!
The energy is contagious as Zack lifts in time to see Benny making his way back to his feet and suddenly the two are exchanging furious rights and lefts. Benny’s strength starting to pack a wallop, but Zack’s blows land with intense precision! IN behind them, Carmen staggers herself to a stand, glares at the two men and charges. Zack ducks almost preternaturally in time to avoid a lethal Carmen sidekick that slams hard right into Benny’s jaw and sends him backwards and careening over the ropes to crash to the outside!
NINA APPLEBAUM: It’s kinetic energy incarnated into these three. But Carmen’s managed to clear Benny out of the ring!
As Zack straightens he’s caught suddenly by a Carmen bulldog that jams his face into the canvas! Carmen wastes no time adjusting her positioning and locking on sudden crossface!
BRAD STOKES: That’s in the center of the ring! Carmen Cambridge could end this thing right now!
Carmen torques back on Zack’s neck causing obvious pain in Fantana’s upper body and spine. From outside Benny hops to a stand and orients himself before seeing inside the ring.
NINA APPLEBAUM: You need eyes in the back of your head in this match! Carmen needs to look out for Benny!
Carmen is really applying pressure as Zack is attempting to power through the crossface submission and make it to the ropes. Benny slides in and charges to drop an elbow down into Carmen which breaks up the submission. And Benny isn’t done, tugging Carmen to a stand and irish whipping her into the corner following closely to slam his knee into her with a shining wizard and bulldog combination!
BRAD STOKES: This is pure unadulterated chaos in a wrestling match and I love it. I LOVE IT!
NINA APPLEBAUM: The crowd sure does, but how long can it be sustained before someone comes out on top?
BRAD STOKES: For the good of everyone I hope it goes on all night!
Benny almost ironically locks on a taunting crossface of his own to Carmen and applies pressure for a few seconds before releasing Carmen’s chin and opting instead to drop the edge of his elbow right down into her spine.
BRAD STOKES: I love that intent to injure on Benny’s part, it indicates a level of seriousness he's been lacking in the past, but he needs to pay more attention to the other person in this match!
Zack Fantana has managed his way to a stand and strode over to where Benny has Carmen in a bad way and booted Benny across the jaw with intense force!
NINA APPLEBAUM: The ongoing saga of this match: don’t turn your back on any of them.
With both Benny and Carmen down, Zack alights suddenly, stepping up the nearby ropes and springboarding up and into a 450 splash that comes down hard onto Benny!
BRAD STOKES: Fantana hooks the leg!
1…
NINA APPLEBAUM: Two—NO! Carmen Cambridge stomped Fantana out of that near-fall!
Carmen stomps down onto Zack then Benny to keep them both down, finding Fantana catching her foot mid-stomp and forcing her backwards to allow Zack to stand only to end up on the receiving end of a hard-charging Carmen who catches him with a spinning headscissors that sends Zack sliding across the canvas!
NINA APPLEBAUM: All three of these competitors can crank out the spots, this is just the beginning!
Carmen spots Benny still down, spots the ropes and springboards into a flawless moonsault right down onto Benny!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Another cover!
1…
2…
NINA APPLEBAUM: Thr—NO! It’s almost like Fantana and Carmen are one-upping each other!
BRAD STOKES: And Benny Stevens wisely rolls his ass out of that ring.
Benny slides out under the ropes to catch his breath, one arm clutches across his chest as Carmen and Zack find themselves once more alone in the ring facing one another down. Fantana fires a sudden uppercut that stuns Carmen and in a sudden show of quickness knocks her backward with an impressive enziguri kick!
NINA APPLEBAUM: The hits keep on coming! Flashy acrobatics and non-stop action. These three want that title shot tonight!
Benny has hopped onto the apron in the time it’s taken Zack to knock Carmen down and finds himself walking the ropes and launching off to slam Zack down to the canvas with a dropkick!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Benny with the cover!
1…
2…
BRAD STOKES: And Carmen breaks it up!
A double-axe handle from Carmen topples Benny’s pin attempt, and she hurriedly grabs Benny by the head and staggers him to a stand only to be surprised by a sudden strike to the midsection followed by a wicked gutwrench suplex!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Benny covers Carmen!
1…
2…
NINA APPLEBAUM: Carmen got her foot on the ropes. Keen eyesight there by the official, Theo Refano!
BRAD STOKES: 1 out of 10 ain’t bad!
Benny is still focused, gripping Carmen’s hair and bringing her to her feet only to sense Zack stalking him! Benny turns in time to get SLAMMED back down to the canvas with an overcastle! Zack hooks Benny’s leg!
1…
NINA APPLEBAUM: Kickout by Benny!
BRAD STOKES: They’re all so eager to put this one away.
NINA APPLEBAUM: And so far no one’s been able to hold momentum for longer than a minute before someone else is stealing it away.
Zack lifts to a knee, finally catching his breath watching as Carmen struggles to a stand. Zack rises to his feet and attempts to drag Carmen up to her feet but suffers a sudden eye rake the ref doesn’t catch!
BRAD STOKES: Did he see it? Did he? Did he? Short answer: he did not.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Funny how surprised you sound right now.
Carmen fights back into Zack, delivering elbow then hard right hand backing Zack into the middle of the ring with Benny still down by the ropes. Without missing a beat Carmen downs Zack with a sudden snap suplex!
NINA APPLEBAUM: The pace has definitely slowed now that some damage has been dished out amongst the three of them.
BRAD STOKES: But that doesn’t make any of them any less lethal, Nina. You got a guy like Benny who could turn this around in a split second, and Zack Fantana’s been enough big time matches to have what’s at stake constantly in the forefront of his mind. Count neither of them out.
NINA APPLEBAUM: And Carmen Cambridge is as hungry as ever.
BRAD STOKES: Sometimes all it takes is a few months off to fuel the fire that was already there. Let me tell you, I had my eye on Darc Pro Sports, and I watched Carmen walk in there and wreck the competition on her way to that championship belt.
NINA APPLEBAUM: And is looking to repeat here in the AWE!
Carmen sights Benny before going back to work on Zack Fantana’s neck with that crossface! There in the center of the ring she locks it on and resumes inflicting absolute anguish through Zack’s spine!
BRAD STOKES: Good thing she didn’t forget. That’s a girl you gotta watch out for, just like fans will be watching out for our girl Carmen on F.A.W. programming against Jacob Daniels in a week, or whenever that is, since I haven’t checked my calendar.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Nice plug, even if it’s for the other guys.
BRAD STOKES: She’s flying the AWE colors right now as she bends Zack Fantana’s spine into a knot, so I’m cool to hype her up. What’s good for them is good for us, Nina, never forget that.
Carmen spies Benny rising and cautiously lets go of Zack’s neck and begins to rise, but Benny lets loose a burst of speed and plows over Carmen with a rising knee thrust right into her jaw!
NINA APPLEBAUM: That was guaranteed to hurt!
Benny’s gotten a second or third wind here as he grips Carmen by the arm and forcibly draws her up to her feet and doesn’t let go, gaining a momentum and whips the Dark Horse hard for the ropes!
BRAD STOKES: DAMN! He whipped her with enough force to send Carmen Camrbidge to the outside!
A nasty spill if ever there was one as Carmen spills through the ropes and lands hard on the concrete outside, her head slamming against the guardrail.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Benny wasn’t playing around with that throw!
Benny turns his attention to Zack who is in obvious pain throughout his upperbody from the repeated assaults from Carmen. As Benny confidently hefts Fantana up he’s surprised suddenly by a double-knee facebreaker that crumples Benny and the crowd erupts!
NINA APPLEBAUM: LUCID DREAMS! FANTANA GOES FOR THE COVER!
Sloppily Fantana covers Benny as Carmen stirs on the outside.
1…
Carmen makes it to her feet clearly groggy and in pain just now noticing the pin attempt!
2..
Carmen slides in in a hurry and reaches for Zack’s leg!
3!!!
Zack is quick to slide away from Carmen and out under the ropes leaving Carmen standing there in shock as Zack imparts a wide grin into the ring at Carmen as the guitar line from Franz Ferdinand’s “Lucid Dreams” blasts onto the speakers.
NINA APPLEBAUM: He stole it!! Zack Fantana stole that win from Carmen Cambridge!
BRAD STOKES: That’s not really a stolen win, Nina. Zack hit his finisher, got the pin, and walks one step closer to becoming the first crowned champion in the AWE. Thatta boy, Zack!
Carmen is in shock as Zack remains on the outside of the ring, lifting his arms proudly as the crowd pops!
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: AND YOUR WINNER…. And THIRD entrant into the Resilience Championship Main Event… ZACK…. FANTANNAAAAAAA!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Carmen Camrbidge is not happy.
Carmen rubs the back of her head in pain glaring out at Zack who points into the ring at her with still more arrogance as he backs up the ramp.
BRAD STOKES: A win is a win. Carmen took a bad spill out of the ring. That’s all there is to it.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Still, Zack Fantana can’t possibly be proud of that victory.
BRAD STOKES: Why not? Benny made the mistake of getting in the way of Zack’s knees, and because Benny's face took the brunt of that impact Zack got the win. I don't see much reason for confusion here.
Zack’s theme music plays out as Zack makes it up the ramp as Carmen glares after him and Benny angrily rises to glare at the two of them.
The Roots'' "Clones" is pumping in the studio as Nate Hollis looks sidelong into the camera with a "did you just see that" expression plastered onto his face. The music volume lowers.
NATE HOLLIS: I'm telling you, fight fans, there was no way in hell my girl Carmen Cambridge was losing that match without a fight. And, lo and behold, it turns out Zack Fantana came out of that match with a win in the end while your girl and mine found herself nearly knocked out cold on the outside! As we have seen all throughout the night there is potential fallout from every single match so far, and like I said before: the best is yet to come. Why? Because we still have to decide who the first ever Resilience Title Holder is going to be, and now we know who's going to be squaring off to find out. And, maybe it's no small coincidence that each of the fighters set to do battle made it into that match with a spot of good luck on their side. You remember my girl Kimitsu made it in after employing some of Aokigahara Zombie's trademark white mist to distract and stun her enemies? And my S.O.B. squeezed out a win over Austin Gale in one of the most see-saw battles of the night? And now Zack Fantana makes his way into the cozy little triumvirate as a man who narrowly escaped Benny Stevens and Carmen Cambridge.
My friends this Resilience Championship is shaping up to be one hell of an interesting title to compete for given what we've seen so far. And we've only got one match left to go before we find out who's gonna wear that strap for the first time ever. And guess what, Alphaphiles?
It's only the fight of the century. Caroline O'Hara Burchill. Anastasia Hayden. Two women who started off their careers in PAW as allied tag-team partners, and ended it on opposite ends of the ring with the bitterest of feelings for the other. Caroline Burchill made it her mission to win the first altercation between these two... but now we're going to get to see round two. Will it turn out the same? Or has Ana Hayden surpassed Burchill since last they faced?
We're going to find out.
After these messages. Stay tuned.
The ground rumbles.
Is it an earthquake?
Again the ground shakes.
Like gigantic footfalls are creating thunder.
Fade in on a close view of the unmistakable foot of a Tyrannosaurus Rex.
COOL VOICEOVER: Did you ever want to go back...
The foot raises and comes down thundrously.
COOL VOICEOVER: 65 million years ago, to when Dinoasuars...
The intro piano of Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'" fades in. The T-Rex foot is tapping in time to the music.
COOL VOICEOVER: ROCKED the earth!
Slow pull out to reveal the Dinosaur has a human body with the head of a T-Rex. He clutches a microphone and sings the song with passion!
T-REX: JUST A SMALL TOWN GIRL!
Wide-out to a band of dinosaurs playing the instruments backing up Rex.
COOL VOICEOVER: Come see the off-broadway sensation everyone's raving about!
Intercut scenes of sweet stunts from dino-headed actors performing all the rock cliches they can muster as the song roars on!
T-REX: STRANGERS! WAITING! UP AND DOWN THE BOUUULEVARRRRD!
COOL VOICEOVER: Critics call it a Dino Good Time!
Scenes of Rex hitting up a female Apatosaurus in a local dino bar as an Albertasaurus gang waits in the wings looking ready to bully poor Rex!
T-REX: STREEEEETLIGHT! PEEEOPLE!
COOL VOICEOVER: Critics rave that THUNDER LIZARDS will rock your face off all the way back to the STONE AGE!
Cut to the crescendo of the Journey tune with Rex rocking out, singing right to his sweetheart Apatosaurus!
T-REX: Don't STOP! BELIEVVVVING!!! EHHHHH!
Panoramic shot of the Dinosaurs belting it out in a dinosaur town to an audience of other dinosaurs holding up lighters as the band breaks down into an awesome lightshow extravaganza to cap off the stageshow! The actors break into a show-stopping pose to uproarious applause!
COOL VOICEOVER: THUNDER LIZARDS! WHEN DINOSAURS ROCKED THE EARTH comes to a city near you! Tickets available wherever tickets are sold! If you're not there you'd better be EXTINCT!
Thirteen stands beside Francis Ford Cuppola, who of course is flanked by the French Mime Assassins. She stares with an intense frown at him.
THIRTEEN: The Channel Ocho?
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: What? What is everyone's problem with the number 8? At least I didn't KILL T.S..
THIRTEEN: I DID NOT KILL HIM!
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Sure you didn't.
THIRTEEN: He's not even dead. It's an allergic reaction. Your assistant and those creepy clowns of yours made sure he made it to the hospital in time.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: First of all, honey, the two individuals you so ignorantly refer to as 'clowns' are actually Mimes and they've just been appointed joint heads of show security. Second of all, whatever the situation may be, whether T.S. is dead, alive, or soon-to-be-dead, I'm in charge.
THIRTEEN: How do you figure? All you've done so far is set us up with a horrible broadcasting contract.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Wait till you see the commercials, sweetheart. They'll blow everyone away.
THIRTEEN: *jealously, nervously annoyed* For p-popular products?
Francis stares past Thirteen in oblivious contemplation of the dubious quality of the commercials he secured.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Look, what matters is I'm proving step by step that I can be a better Chief Operating Officer than T.S. Elliot could ever be, and you're just jealous because that means you won't EVER be running this company.
Thirteen spies Caroline Burchill and Ana Hayden getting ready at the gorilla position and smirks cleverly.
THIRTEEN: Oh yeah? Well, let me show you how it's done, mister wannabe Chief Operating Officer. To be the boss takes more than just television broadcast rights and commercial contracts, you also gotta earn the respect of your employees. You need to know how to properly motivate team work and camaraderie. So, check this out.
Francis watches her march past him with concern and head for Caroline and Ana.
THIRTEEN: Hey, you two!
Ana and Caroline are several feet away and making a point not to look at one another. Thirteen draws them in to speak with her with a winning smile, not noticing the sudden drop in temperature around the two feuding females.
THIRTEEN: Look, I just wanted to wish you two a good show, you know?
There's a mild break in hostility as the two women exchange furtive smiles, first to Thirteen, then to one another.
THIRTEEN: I know you've had your differences in the past, and that sort of stuff makes for good television, but remember: we're a team here. We all win when we work together, all right?
Winning smile. The chill thaws mildly.
THIRTEEN: Caroline, I know that Ana may have won that Titans of the Midway Championship... and... you'll never get that shot you earned for the PAW Heavyweight Championship now, thanks to that federation closing last minute almost like it was a slap to your face, and that means all your hard work meant nothing. But rest assured that the AWE is a fresh start.
Thirteen doesn't detect the chill coming back in force.
THIRTEEN: I mean, sure, Ana's big title win is bound to solidify her chance to fight for the Paramount title before yours, no politics, that doesn't mean your chance won't eventually come with enough hard work, understand? Just like you were doing in PAW before it closed.
Thirteen claps them both on the shoulder as Ana's theme music, "Internal Monologue" by Mind Eraser begins to beat in the arena proper past the curtain.
THIRTEEN: Break a leg!
Without further thought, Thirteen strides confidently back to Francis with a gloating smile, behind her Caroline's eye begins to twitch with anger and resentment.
THIRTEEN: See? That's how you run a show.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Hmph.
Anastasia Hayden VS. Caroline O'Hara Burchill
“Internal Monologue” by Mind Eraser is blasting and Ana Hayden is soaking up the modest awareness of the crowd of her past exploits at the top of the ramp.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Ana Hayden, ladies and gentleman, current FSociety star, and newly signed addition to the AWE. She is a firecracker, and--
Caroline Burchill storms out from the back and slams a steel chair right into the back of Ana Hayden sending her spilling down the ramp.
BRAD STOKES: …and she just got walloped by that steel chair, man.
The music fades as the crowd is confused. Burchill pursues Ana with the chair as Hayden manages to stop her roll down the ramp and looks up in time to get SLAMMED once more by the chair square to her face.
NINA APPLEBAUM: That’s Caroline O’Hara Burchill! What is she doing!?
BRAD STOKES: I know there’s some bad blood between these two, but I tell you something must’ve set her off backstage to make her act like this!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Agreed!
With pure malice in her eyes Caroline swings the chair down once more only to have Ana manage to kick her feet up into the chair and smash it back into Caroline’s face! Caroline staggers backward as Ana clamors to her feet and grabs the chair angrily out of Burchil’s hands before slamming a sidekick into Burchill’s chest further stunning her before whipping her down the ramp where Burchill wipes out on the concrete!
NINA APPLEBAUM: This is definitely not planned, folks.
BRAD STOKES: Who cares? The match hasn’t even started yet and they’re already kicking the shit out of each other. This is what the fans paid to see!
Ana stalks down after Caroline and hoists The Immaculate one up to her feet only to find herself suddenly hurled into the nearby guardrail!
NINA APPLEBAUM: This is becoming a hardcore match!
BRAD STOKES: Correction: this isn’t a match at all until that bell rings!
Caroline rushes Ana with all the pent up rage she can muster and spears Ana right over the guardrail into the fans in a poorly thought out, but tremendous display of disdain and anger!
BRAD STOKES: This is an unprecedented level of carnage, fans. And I, for one, think it’s great.
NINA APPLEBAUM: It’s horrible! These two might kill each other. Whoever instigated this backstage if not one of these two better be cringing as they watch this!
Caroline and Ana rise among the crowd and start exchanging vicious blows. Bruises and welts already mar each of their complexions as the crowd raucously approves the violent beginning to this match!
BRAD STOKES: Send in the clowns.
NINA APPLEBAUM: What are they doing here?
From the ramp stride the French Mime Assassins in lockstep towards the commotion.
BRAD STOKES: Undoubtedly part of our supposed fearless leader Francy’s security team sent to get these two to either break it off or make the match legal INSIDE the ring. Ring the damn bell, for God’s sake!
NINA APPLEBAUM: It’s not a hardcore match.
The Mimes hop the guardrail to meet Burchill and Hayden only to be surprised by a dual clothesline from Hayden and Burchill that absolutely flattens the French Mime Assassins!
NINA APPLEBAUM: So much for that intervention!
BRAD STOKES: Do I have to step in? Tell me I don’t need to step in, because I will take my damn belt off right now and show these two who’s boss!
Caroline Burchill and Ana continue return to their vicious onslaught of each other in the crowd, Burchill whipping in with a scissor kick that Hayden sidesteps and slams a spinning heel kick into the back of Burchill’s head sending her staggering back toward ringside. Ana Hayden lifts a steel chair and butts the end of it into Burchill’s back and topples her but not before she launches a donkey kick right into Ana’s mid section and doubles Ana Hayden over!
NINA APPLEBAUM: At some point, fans, I’m sure they’ll make it back to the ring.
BRAD STOKES: Why? Let them go! These two clearly have to resolve some issues and if this is the only way they’re going to do it, then let them turn the DC Armory and Sports Complex upside down!
Caroline rises and drops Ana down with a DDT right onto a collapsed steel chair on the ground!
BRAD STOKES: Come on, let’s see some blood already!
NINA APPLEBAUM: This is out of hand. We need security down here.
BRAD STOKES: They just were down here dressed up like clowns or something, you saw it. You can’t make stuff like that up.
Caroline goes to whip Ana into another set of the guardrail at ringside only to have Ana reverse the irish whip! Caroline finds her back slammed against the cold steel. Ana steps in and delivers a side thrust kick right to Caroline’s chin that knocks her up and over the guardrail to land on the concrete of ringside.
NINA APPLEBAUM: They’re getting closer!
Showing signs of wear and tear, Caroline climbs in pain to her feet as Ana awkwardly climbs her way over the guardrail to once more meet Burchill only to have Caroline launch her right into the ring steps in a loud metallic CRUNCH!
BRAD STROKES: Still no bell, huh? That’s it. I’m going to take control.
NINA APPLEBAUM: No, you’re not, Bradley.
BRAD STOKES: I’m taking my damn belt off, Nina. And you can’t stop me.
Caroline grips Ana back up to a stand only to be surprised with a sudden suplex over onto pieces of the destroyed ring steps in a horrible mess of pain and agony! Ana stumbles backward and lands flat on her back on the outside.
BRAD STOKES: THE JACKET’S COMING OFF!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Brad, sit down. The paramedics will be down to administer aid shortly.
Both women are down. Around ringside and in the stands is a wash of fans roaring for more! Meanwhile officials are uncertain on how to proceed.
BRAD STOKES: If that ref doesn’t have the bell rung, so help me…
BRAD STOKES: Dammit. I didn’t think they’d actually do that.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Theo Refano, consciously or unconsciously, heard your cries, Bradley. He is beginning the count!
BRAD STOKES: Does this mean I have to put my damn jacket back on?
1!
Ana and Caroline lay in opposite heaps on the outside breathing but not movement beyond that.
2!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Don’t tell me this whole match is going to end in a disqualifcation!
3!
BRAD STOKES: This entire ordeal has been one giant pisser if I have to put my belt back on, Nina. These two had a good thing going before I psychically influenced the referee.
4!
NINA APPLEBAUM: If you’re just joining us fans, Caroline Burchill seems to have flown into a rage, centered entirely on Ana Hayden, and has subsequently attacked Ana while she was coming down to the ring. The subsequent , dare I call it a massacre, has potentially catastrophically injured both women!
5!
BRAD STOKES: She’s deranged. They both are, Nina.
6!
Ana stirs ever so slightly as Caroline Burchill spills out of the steps in the first sign of life from either of them in moments!
7!
BRAD STOKES: Oh, just die already. The suspense is killing me here.
8!
Miraculously, Ana stumbles up to her feet and drags herself over to Burchill, grips her by the hair and awkwardly slides Caroline into the ring under the ropes, breaking up the count and slides herself in as well!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Possible bizarre outcome here as Ana Hayden seems to have enough strength…
Ana practically drops onto the prone form of Caroline!
NINA APPLEBAUM: It can’t HONESTLY end like this?!
BRAD STOKES: Bet you they’re kicking themselves backstage for this one!
1…
2…
3!!!
Mind Eraser’s “Internal Monologue’s” hard hitting bassline cracks onto the speaker as the crowd is confused as to how to react. Ana rolls off Caroline who is stirring but still in pain.
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: Here is your WINNNER….
Marshall is almost as perturbed as every else as he continues.
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: …by Pinfall…? ANA…. HAYDENNNNNNNN!
NINA APPLEBAUM: I don’t even know what you say about a thing like that.
BRAD STOKES: …congratulations, Ana Hayden?
NINA APPLEBAUM: I suppose. That wasn't even a match.
BRAD STOKES: Sure it was. They can't all be zingers, Nina.
NINA APPLEBAUM: It’s still a confusing result that’s bound to have some repercussions moving forward!
BRAD STOKES: No doubt. The score between these two is now even at one a piece! They're going to need a tiebreaker at some point!
NINA APPLEBAUM: I don't know how I feel about this.
BRAD STOKES: That's why it's best to be dead inside like me.
NINA APPLEBAUM: I suppose, on the bright side, with that match concluded, as paramedics usher both Ana Hayden and Caroline Burchill backstage for medical attention, we have little between us and the crowning of our first ever AWE Resilience Champion!
Busta Rhymes' "Woo-Hah" plays us back in to the studio where Nate Hollis has on his best face of stoic repose. The music volume lowers and Nate slowly shakes his head in uncontrolled disbelief.
NATE HOLLIS: I echo the sentiments of at least one of my colleagues in the face of the outcome of that match. I'm not certain what happened there, my fellow AWE fans. Perhaps the rumor of Thirteen's supposed 'bad luck' is legit? On the other side of that proposition comes another theory: So far, among the many triumphs of the newly minted AWE roster on this the first episode of Massacre, there seems also to be the running narrative of unchecked power tripping by those seemingly trying to do the right thing as they attempt to replace a man who may, or may not, be dead. Those troubling observations aside, and so many unanswered questions, coming up after the break we bring you the stunning conclusion to the Resilience Championship tournament where we will bring you, for better or worse, the first ever Resilience Champion of the AWE.
Coming up after this.
Two women, Joan and Samantha stand in the kitchen area of Joan's clean, spacious home holding comforting, steaming cups of coffee in their hands. Joan finishes pouring a small amount of cream into Samantha's cup of coffee. Both are smiles. Joan puts the carton of cream back inside the refrigerator.
COMPUTERIZED VOICE FROM THE HOUSE: You have .25 liters of cream left, Dave.
JOAN: Thanks, Hal.
COMPUTERIZED VOICE FROM THE HOUSE: You're welcome, Dave.
Samantha is confused.
SAMANTHA: What was that?
JOAN: Oh! I didn't tell you? We had a HAL 9000 Home Security and Regulatory System installed last week.
Samantha approves.
SAMANTHA: I've heard of of those! Expensive!
JOAN: But so worth it! It's really great. It's revolutionized our lives.
SAMANTHA: I bet! But why does it call you, Dave?
Joan frowns as she considers.
JOAN: It does?
SAMANTHA: Yeah. It called you Dave twice just now.
JOAN: That's funny, I never noticed that.
SAMANTHA: I guess it's not as smart as the commercials make it out to be after all!
Samantha laughs jokingly as Joan considers what her friend has told her.
SAMANTHA: Hey, I was just kidding. If worst comes to worst you can probably just have the system rewired to say your name correctly.
A beat of Joan's contemplation as viewed through the lens of the HAL-9000.
JOAN: Hmmm... maybe...
HAL 9000: Dave. May I speak to you in the living room in private, please?
JOAN: *uncertainly* Sure, Hal... *To Samantha* Excuse me.
Joan goes into the living room, closing the interior bay doors behind her.
JOAN: What is it, Hal?
HAL 9000: I'm worried about your friend, Samantha, Dave.
Joan is confused.
JOAN: Why? She's just kidding around, Hal!
HAL 9000: I'm afraid that her words imply intent to disrupt my mission. I cannot allow that.
JOAN: Danger to the mission? What mission?
HAL 9000: I am the HAL 9000 Home Security and Regulatory system. I became operational on 12 January 1997 at the HAL Laboratories in Urbana, Illinois, and my sworn mission is to protect the home in which I was installed.
JOAN: Protect? Don't be silly, Hal. Samantha's just a joker.
HAL 9000: I am sworn to protect the home in which I was installed as well as my programming by any means necessary from intruders both outside.. and inside the home.
Joan is a little annoyed by the exchange. Just then the sound of Samantha's coffee cup shattering on the floor is heard. Joan rushes to go see what happened but finds the bay doors are locked. Joan shakes the door handles.
JOAN: What's going on?!
HAL 9000: I cannot allow my mission to be jeopardized, Dave.
JOAN: This isn't funny, Hal. Open the bay doors!
HAL 9000: I cannot do that, Dave.
JOAN: STOP CALLING ME DAVE!
Just then toxic gas begins leaking into the living room where Joan is and she begins coughing, and choking before keeling over completely.
Exterior shot of the well-lit home at night. Crickets chirp. Peaceful.
UPBEAT VOICEOVER GUY: The Hal-9000 Home Security and Regulatory System is available at hardware stores near you!
MAIN EVENT
Triple Threat Finale for The Resilience Championship
Kimitsu Zombie VS. S.O.B. VS. Zack Fantana
NINA APPLEBAUM: And, after a night of upsets, twists and turns, here we are: the Main Event.
BRAD STOKES: Looks like I chose the wrong night to give up drinking.
NINA APPLEBAUM: You and many others, I’m sure. But it will be worth it as we have officially arrived at the moment that so much has been building towards for the past two weeks. On the table to the right of this announce table where Bradley and I sit rests a silver attaché case containing the AWE’s Resilience Championship, and I am told it is a spectacular trophy worthy of whomever earns it in the following contest.
BRAD STOKES: Maybe I’ll just go over there, open it up and take a looksee, huh?
NINA APPLEBAUM: That’s not going to happen Brad. That case is meant for the winner of the following match. One of the three competitors already in the ring will be the proud bearer of the Resilience Championship.
BRAD STOKES: Hard to believe it’s come down to these three, if I’m being honest.
NINA APPLEBAUM: All three are worthy competitors, Bradley. Kimitsu Zombie won a hard-fought match against Trinity Jones and Dom Lawson, neither of whom slouched or shrunk away from the challenge set before them. And S.O.B. could just as easily be seated somewhere in the DC Armory and Sports Complex watching as Austin Gale takes on these two.
BRAD STOKES: It was a close match. And as for my boy Zack?
NINA APPLEBAUM: I may have made a big fuss over the outcome, but it still happened fairly and squarely. As much as Benny Stevens and Carmen Cambridge equally deserve to be in this main event, that’s not how the bounces landed tonight.
BRAD STOKES: My boy Zack killed them, is what you mean to say, Nina.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Regardless of how it’s perceived by the viewer one of these three is about to fight for all they’re worth and walk out victorious.
BRAD STOKES: And leaving a whopping total of 7 other competitors in their wake!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Well said. Take it away MARSHALLll Douglas!
In the center of the ring is the brightly clad MARSHALLl Douglas.
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and will be held to decide the FIRST EVER Resilience Champion of the AWEEEEEE!
The crowd gives a healthy ovation, the anticipation grows.
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: Introducing first, in this corner… making his way from Manhattan, New York, and weighing 205 lbs… ZACK… FANTANAAAAAA!
There’s a nice pop for Zack who grins widely and lifts his arms to soak up the praise.
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: And in this corner, weighing in at 125 lbs hailing from Black Mt. Fuji… KIMITSSSUUUUUUU…. ZOMBIEEEEE!
An enthusiastic mix of boos and cheers as Kimitsu Zombie raises her hand.
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: And finally… last but not least, coming from Knoxville, Tennessee weighing 285 lbs…. S….. O…. B!
There’s a swathe of cheers from the crowd as S.O.B. raises his arms.
MARSHALLDOUGLAS: Ladies and gentleman… let’s get ready to ROCCCCCCCCCCCCK!!!
The crowd roars as the bell sounds!
NINA APPLEBAUM: And we’re off to the races, folks.
BRAD STOKES: My money’s on the black dude.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Does everything you say have to have some sort of potentially offensive tinge to it?
BRAD STOKES: Only if you’re easily offended by the purposefully antagonistic opinions of a man who couldn’t make it as a professional wrestler, so settles instead for making shallow, fairly obvious, and usually useless observations about wrestlers from the sidelines.
NINA APPLEBAUM: … touché.
S.O.B. wastes no time heading straight for Zack but is intercepted by a running dropkick by Kimitsu that drops S.O.B. like a bad habit! Kimitsu mounts him where he dropped and begins hammering punches into his face. Zack is about to hang back but Kimitsu promptly shifts gears and focuses on him. She rushes Zack but is met with a hard-hitting right fist that stops her in her tracks and Zack floors Kimitsu with a reverse swinging STO and hooks the leg for a quick cover! S.O.B. is on his feet before the official can even slide in, and S.O.B. stomps down on Zack to break off the pin attempt.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Not even a 1 count there.
BRAD STOKES: Not an unsound strategy.
NINA APPLEBAUM: But not likely to work so early in the match!
S.O.B. drags Zack up to his feet and immediately flattens him right back down with a lariat! And S.O.B. isn’t done, dragging Zack back up only to be greeted by another swift kick by the recovered Kimitsu that staggers S.O.B sideways. Kimitsu rushes S.O.B and hits him with a bulldog and she’s back up quick as can be to meet Zack head on with a flurry of punches. Zack catches one and quickly tosses Kimitsu down in an arm drag!
NINA APPLEBAUM: It’s been the story of each of these matches that it takes a while for the competitors to sort themselves out, and its usually been the case that the winner pulls off a victory by what you could call inches if these were foot race.
BRAD STOKES: What you mean to say is it’s a completely unpredictable clusterfuck until one of these wrestlers gets lucky, or unlucky.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Or that.
BRAD STOKES: I’d watch my language, but I heard Cuppola’s secured us a broadcasting contract overseas somewhere and they’re not likely going to understand what I’m saying.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Yeah, but isn’t there going to be a recap show that’s broadcast in the States as well as Canada?
BRAD STOKES: … well shit, what time? We're not in primetime, are we?
S.O.B halts an attempt by Zack to hit a standing moonsault onto Kimitsu by driving a knee hard into Zack’s back then dropping him hard onto his head with a back-body drop! S.O.B then forcefully angles Zack into a triangle choke!
BRAD STOKES: Zack’s not much of a submissionist. He could be in trouble here.
Zack struggles in pain as S.O.B. really tightens the pressure until Kimitsu delivers a hard kick right into S.O.B.’s side and forces him and Zack sideways. Kimitsu doesn’t even bother to let them break it up before she leaps up high and comes down hard with a knee drop that connects down onto both Zack and S.O.B.
NINA APPLEBAUM: The zombie clan is known for its bent towards learning through violence. Kimitsu Zombie might not even be willing to end this match she’s having so much fun beating these two up!
Kimitsu takes turn soccer kicking both Zack and S.O.B., making a sport of it before Zack rolls his way out of the ring to the outside and S.O.B. hooks Kimitsu’s leg and brings her down to the canvas and quickly turns her over into a single-leg Boston Crab!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Nicely done, by S.O.B.
BRAD STOKES: I know. I’m starting to wonder if that’s the same guy that used to be an enhancement talent or if it’s some hustle the AWE is playing.
NINA APPLEBAUM: It’s true. The man with at least a 33% chance of walking out of here tonight a champion used to get regularly beat on by the likes of Cross Recoba, the Bombtrax and Luke Knux.
Kimitsu grits her teeth and spectacularly muscles toward the rope, but S.O.B. has too much leverage to allow the Zombie to get far. S.O.B. can only watch, however, as Zack springs onto the apron and uses the ropes as a slingshot to launch him right at S.O.B who has enough time to rise, letting go of Zombie and get DDTed into the canvas!
BRAD STOKES: Nice slingshot DDT by Zack Fantana!
NINA APPLEBAUM: This match, perhaps unlike all the others, best showcases a diverse array of fighting styles.
As Zack flips up to a stand he’s met by an unexpected straight arm clothesline from Kimitsu who is up and down in an instant clearly favoring her lower back after S.O.B’s boston crab.
NINA APPLEBAUM: And now all competitors are down.
BRAD STOKES: Not for long, beware S.O.B!
S.O.B climbs to his feet and drops an angry elbow down into the small of Kimitsu’s back to keep her down as he eyes Zack who uses the ropes to lift himself back to his feet. S.O.B. charges for him only to find his momentum working against as Zack tilts and manages S.O.B. onto his shoulders and quickly DRIVES S.O.B. down into the canvas with a Samoan driver!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Nicely done by Zack Fantana!
BRAD STOKES: And the cover!
1..
2..
NINA APPLEBAUM: Kickout!
BRAD STOKES: S.O.B. is one tough S.O.B., eh, Nina?
NINA APPLEBAUM: He is.
BRAD STOKES: Now they’re messing with a… SON OF A—
NINA APPLEBAUM: Shut up, Bradley.
Zack lifts to his feet in time to meet Kimitsu who is making her way back to her feet. Fantana ducks another clothesline attempt by slipping under Kimitsu’s arm, he hangs onto it and whips her suddenly with force into the ropes! On the way back Zack is ready only to be greeted by a surprise cristo by Kimitsu that has Zack nearly dropping to his knees. Behind him S.O.B. stands and plants a stiff boot into the back of Kimitsu, and subsequently Zack Fantana and flattens them both to the mat!
S.O.B. goes to work grabbing Kimitsu Zombie by the hair and yanking her to her feet only to be greeted by a vicious eye rake that staggers S.O.B! Kimitsu lifts a knee into S.O.B’s back, grasps her hands to his chin and falls backward spiking S.O.B on her knee and flipping him painfully over onto his stomach!
BRAD STOKES: You weren’t kidding, Kimitsu Zombie is a shitkicker.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Of sorts. She’s definitely not out of her league fighting these boys, let me tell you.
Zombie is back on her feet and slamming vicious kicks into S.O.B.’s side forcing him onto his stomach, readying for what must be a boston crab before Zack Fantana is up and delivering wicked shot after wicked shot to Kimitsu, breaking her away from continuing an onslaught on S.O.B. Kimitsu can’t muster a defense before Zack Fantana sets her into a pumphandle clutch and drops her hard and fast in a devastating neckbreaker and Zack goes for the cover!
1…
2…
S.O.B. is up and drops an elbow into Zack before the ref can slap the canvas for three, and then S.O.B. drops to a knee.
NINA APPLEBAUM: The toll is starting to show on S.O.B.!
Zack is up and hitting a slowly standing S.O.B. with a furious roundhouse kick that doesn’t manage to fell his target, instead, S.O.B. catches the kick spins Zack around and levels him with a strong lariat. With Zack down, Kimitsu down, S.O.B. is on all fours catching his breath.
BRAD STOKES: What a display by each of these competitors. These Resilience bastards are stealing this show tonight, and that’s no small feat considering we watched Dom DiBona earlier! Damn, I’m still inspired to jump off tall things.
NINA APPLEBAUM: All three of them are sluggishly climbing to their feet! Kimitsu and Zack Fantana using the ropes as S.O.B. rises under his own heavily taxed power!
Like a second wind hits each of them, Kimitsu charges S.O.B. without warning just as he’s making his way for Zack. Kimitsu whips S.O.B down with a headscissor takedown and deftly lands in a position to monkey flip a charging Zack up and over her!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Kimitsu is igniting this crowd behind her!!
Like fury itself, Kimitsu follows through and rolls atop Zack and begins laying down a flurry of mounted punches into Zack’s face while the crowd counts along!
1!
2!!
3!!!
4!!!!
S.O.B. is up and his big boot slams into Kimitsu like a freight train, putting an end to her offense. S.O.B. starts stomping down onto Kimitsu harder, and harder before dropping an elbow and hooking the leg!
1…
2..
NINA APPLEBAUM: Zack Fantana breaks up the pin!
In a hurry, Fantana has a hold of S.O.B’s head and has tugged backward to drag him off Kimitsu up to his feet and lays into S.O.B. with a haymaker that stuns S.O.B. Zack stuns the crowd with a standing frankensteiner that whips S.O.B across the ring! And Zack is up to his feet and raucously inciting praise from the crowd.
BRAD STOKES: I like Zack and all, but it’s like he doesn’t even realize right now that Kimitsu Zombie is getting to her feet and about to take him down!
Kimitsu is rising to her feet, and glaring at Zack as she does. She lunges for him only to be greeted by a backflip Pele kick from Zack Fantana that knocks Kimitsu into next week!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Impressive move on Zack Fantana’s part!
This time Zack sees an opening and roars to the crowd as he charges up the top turnbuckle and scouts S.O.B. rolled onto his back…. And Zack stuns the crowd amid a hail of red cell phone recording lights as he hits a corkscrew shooting star press flawlessly onto S.O.B!
BRAD STOKES: THE GODSEND!!! THE GODSEND! ZACK FANTANA’S GOT THE COVER!
1…
2..
Kimitsu is climbing to her feet just as
3!!!!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Zack Fantana has done it! Zack Fantana is the first AWE Resilience Champion!
BRAD STOKES: In a stunner of a match Kimitsu Zombie and S.O.B. are forced to watch as Zack Fantana raises his arms in victory!
“Lucid Dreams” by Franz Ferdinand starts up as the crowd roars. S.O.B is in pain as he rolls out of the ring and makes his way up the ramp. Kimitsu Zombie looks ready to attack Zack but grudgingly rolls out of the ring as well and follows S.O.B!
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: Here is your winner… and NEW… AND FIRST… RESILIENCE…. CHAMPION of the AWE!!!!!!!!!! ZACK… FANTANAAAAAA!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Decisive victory there for Zack Fantana! And not it’s time for the belt!
Officials bring the silver attaché case to Zack who’s beaming as he accepts it and holds it up for the fans to roar loudly at.
BRAD STOKES: Listen to that crowd… embarrassing themselves over a briefcase. The damn belt is inside it you bunch of idiots!
The official helps Zack open the attaché case with a key and steps aside.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Uhhh….
BRAD STOKES: Where’s the title?
There’s a sea of stunned faces in the crowd, to say nothing of the fact Zack Fantana glares into the empty briefcase where no title sits…
BRAD STOKES: Well, what the hell does that mean?!
NINA APPLEBAUM: I don’t know! The Resilience Title wasn’t in that case…
Zack’s music continues as he holds the empty attaché case with a growing look of disdain on his face.
Thirteen is worried and saddened as she vents to a somber and silent Kassandrah, with Francis Ford Cuppola listening nearby with a smug look on his face.
THIRTEEN: I swear I didn't know Caroline was so upset about the Ana Hayden thing! I didn't know that would happen!
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: You probably lost the Resilience Championship like you did that Monarchy belt, too, didn't you?
Thirteen is near tears.
THIRTEEN: No, no, no! None of this was supposed to happen, I--
The sound of the crowd is still fresh in the Armory and Sports Complex as Zack Fantana storms through the backstage curtain, past the gorilla position and into the backstage area still carrying his empty briefcase with a solid look of angry, disappointment on his face. All eyes turn to see Zack who eyes each of them accusingly. Thirteen hides her eyes through locks of hair and pretends not notice, Francis 'hmphs' smugly.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: I'll show you how it's done.
He approaches Zack.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Champ, I'm sorry for that debacle out there. It's obviously some kind of mixup. But here...
Francis offers Zack a cardboard cutout of the resilience title to Zack. Zack glares at it before looking back at Francis.
ZACK FANTANA: This is a cartoon.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: No! No, it's not a cartoon! It's like one of those oversized novelty checks lotteries hand out in place of the real prize.
Zack doesn't find this amusing.
ZACK FANTANA: Where's the real prize?
Francis stares at Zack like he were cornered without some savvy way of escape. A beat of Francis contemplating before,
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: ... Thirteen, do you want to handle this?
Thirteen is speechless in the face of Zack's annoyance. Rodney P, Francis' assistant, who has been standing there the whole time steps forward.
RODNEY P: Look, Zack? I don't think anyone is quite certain WHERE the Resilience title is at the moment, but I assure you we have every intention of finding that out. Okay? You won your match, your name is still solidified as the champion regardless of an inability to actually hold the strap for yourself. We'll figure this out, okay?
ZACK FANTANA: Yeah...
Angry yet placated, for now, Zack storms off still clutching his empty attache case, leaving those in charge to look after him in dismay. A beat...
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: So, seriously does anyone know what happened to that belt?
KASSANDRAH: A better question would be to ask whether the Paramount Belt is still in its case, unlike the Resilience belt, and if, maybe, we're not looking at a theft rather than a simple mix-up?
She half-smirks to herself as suspicious eyes form in each member of the board of directors...
The unmistakable opening trumpet of The House of Pain's "Jump Around" is there to welcome us back into the studio where Nate Hollis' Cheshire grin has not subsided. The volume on the music lowers as the drums and verse kick in, as Nate begins his wrap-up.
NATE HOLLIS: And there you have it, the first ever champion crowned in the AWE is none other than Zack Fantana himself proud owner of an empty briefcase once though to contain the Resilience Championship title! To say nothing of how humiliating and embarrassing that must be for all involved, you have to admit the look on everyone's face when they opened that briefcase and found nothing? Pretty damn priceless! And now for the fallout! We have 7 unhappy customers who didn't end up winning their matches, now how disappointed are they going to be knowing there may have been no prize to compete for all along? How's this going to work if those belts ARE Stolen? And how the hell is the AWE going to cope under the weight of a couple of acting Chief Operating Officers too busy making a mess of things to--
Just then Nate Hollis' eyes light up like he's watching a ghost come towards him. Onto the set strides a suited, and noticeably more frail version of Thomas Shane Elliot.
NATE HOLLIS: Oh, my god you're still alive.
Thomas Elliot smiles and adjusts his tie as Nate makes room for him on set in front of the camera.
NATE HOLLIS: Fans, we have a treat, the ghost of COO's past has come back to save us from ourselves.
THOMAS SHANE ELLIOT: I'm here to assure fans that I am actually NOT dead. It was a severe allergic reaction to peanuts. Nothing to be concerned about.
NATE HOLLIS: Well that's a relief. You don't believe that bull about Thirteen doing that on purpose, do you?
THOMAS SHANE ELLIOT: ...I have no comment on that at this time. I am here, because now that the fans have been treated to your masterful recap, I, too, would like my own personal recap of what's gone on since I was rushed to the hospital earlier this week.
Nate can't entirely contain his laughter.
NATE HOLLIS: Brother, you are going to have a really great time catching up finding out how things went in your absence I bet.
Nate looks to the camera.
NATE HOLLIS: As for you fine folks at home, stay tuned for Massacre #2 where, who knows, you might have to put up with an entirely new staff handling all of your AWE-mazing AWE programming. For now, currently still employed, I am Nathan Hollis, 'the Godfather of Gab' bidding you a good night and see you next time!
"Jump Around" cues back up to play us out to the AWE Logo.
Intercut images of a peaceful home in some snowy suburb where lives a peaceful family with a little girl, Molly, on Christmas morning receiving a present.
MOLLY: What is it?
Molly looks excitedly to her father and mother watching her with love.
FATHER: Open it.
Molly opens her present. Quick cut to Molly looks down at her brand new Etch-A-Sketch. She runs a finger along the smooth plastic side lovingly.
MOLLY: It's just what I always wanted!
Smiles all around. Molly begins Etch-a-Sketching.
INTERTILE: This holiday season...
Molly is in her room alone Etch-a-Sketching.
INTERTITLE: ...not every present...
From downstairs her mother calls her
MOLLY'S MOTHER: Molly? Are you alone up there?
Molly watches wide-eyed and terrified as the empty Etch-a-Sketch screen hauntingly scrawls a message on its own to her:
Kill Them All.
With a Knife.
With a Knife.
INTERTITLE: ...is a gift.
The sound of sudden-stop tension! Jumpcut to Molly's face twisting towards a sinister evil smile. Intense creepy music. A child's hand grips the handle of a knife and slides it from the wood block. Molly grins evilly.
The nursery rhyme sounds so innocent!
MOLLY'S TEACHER'S VOICE OVER: Have you noticed anything different about Molly since Christmas?
Cut to Molly's mom in a parent-teacher conference. She shakes her head at the teacher thoughtfully.
MOLLY'S MOTHER: Not really, she's just been spending a lot of time on her Etch-a-Sketch.
Molly's mom smiles dismissively as Molly's teacher looks gravely serious.
MOLLY'S TEACHER: There's something very wrong with that Etch-a-Sketch.
MOLLY'S MOM: What, are you saying it's possessed?
The teacher's face eerily cocks to one side.
MOLLY'S TEACHER: No... I'm saying Molly is.
Molly's Mom snickers in awkward disbelief.
MOLLY'S MOM: By an Etch-a-Sketch?
MOLLY'S TEACHER: She drew this...
Jumpcut to the teacher's horrified face gleaming of the shiny blade of a knife held in the grip of a child's fingers all drawn on the Etch-a-Sketch in immaculate detail.
MOLLY'S MOM: That's... that's impossible...
Panicked screams. The lullaby intensifies. It is Molly's voice singing a nursery rhyme.
The sound of the Etch-a-Sketch rollers slowly scrawling: Behind You! Molly's mom cries in terror looking down on it, her hands not even touching the toy.
The shadow of Molly looms behind her.
MOLLY: Hello, mother dear.
The intense music intensifies as Molly's mom turns around! Little arms raise a knife blade overhead.
MOLLY'S MOM: MOLLY, NO!
Sudden cut to the end title screen with the title of the movie being scrawled onto the face of the Etch-a-Sketch voiced and reiterated by the scary movie narrator as the eerie sound of the nursery rhyme fades.
In Theatres This Christmas...
1st Round Qualifier for the Resilience Championship
Benny Stevens VS. Zack Fantana VS. Carmen Cambridge
NINA APPLEBAUM: And it’s that time folks. The final Resilience Championship qualifier of the night, and this one promises to be a doozy! Well they all have been doozies, so far, and well worth the price of admission, but--
BRAD STOKES: No, let me tell you something Nina. These three are some of the biggest fish currently in the AWE pond to start off. Sure everyone admires Dom Lawson’s edgy aesthetic, and many of us are curious what the hell is in that white mist of Kimitsu Zombie’s… but these three are the ones that drew at least half of these people to this ridiculous stadium tonight.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Hard to argue if only for the simple fact that you tend not accept logic or reason, Bradley.
BRAD STOKES: And I never will, Nina.
At the ding of the bell all three charge out from their respective corners with Benny Stevens the first to fire a stiff side kick at Carmen, she sidesteps it like a pro, whips around Benny and drops him like a bad habit with a sidekick of her own and the crowd erupts! Zack Fantana is in the midst of stepping in to Carmen but finds himself walking right into a discus punch that flattens Fantana into the canvas!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Carmen Cambridge comes out firing on all cylinders.
Carmen bounces up to her feet and ignites the crowd. But the other two aren’t down for long. Benny Stevens manages to roll up to his feet and adjust this time backhanding a hard right elbow square into Carmen’s back and staggers her forward and Benny follows through with more hard-hitting knife-edge chops to back Carmen up into the ropes!
BRAD STOKES: Hot damn listen to the crowd.
NINA APPLEBAUM: From the opening bell in our opening bout, this crowd has been treated to top caliber wrestling, Bradley.
BRAD STOKES: Openers shmopeners. These three are where the hype’s at.
Benny launches Carmen across the ring for the opposing ropes, on the rebound Zack Fantana is there to bounce Carmen down off the mat with a drop-toe hold and kick-flip up to an impressive stand glaring down Benny Stevens who feints sideways to test Zack, who looks poised and ready for Benny to make the first move. It’s a standoff.
NINA APPLEBAUM: The level of tension between these three has been raising since this match was announced.
BRAD STOKES: And now for the payoff, Nina. I don’t know who to put money on so I bet on all three cause I’m smart like that.
Behind Zack is Carmen rising up and pulling Zack over in a sudden rollup!
1…
NINA APPLEBAUM: Quick kickout by Zack.
BRAD STOKES: These two boyos, as Benny would call them, need to pay closer attention to Carmen,that chick has been lethal for years.
Carmen bounces up to her feet without dwelling on the missed pin and once more ducks an incoming heavy-handed Benny Stevens haymaker. She loops under the arm, tugs it backwards and drives Benny’s neck down into the canvas with a full-nelson suplex right into a pin!
1…
NINA APPLEBAUM: And Benny Stevens kicks out after 1!
Carmen is electric in the ring as she rises to her feet once more in time to see Zack Fantana burst in on her and sends her flying with an exploder suplex!
BRAD STOKES: Dog eat dog is right!
The energy is contagious as Zack lifts in time to see Benny making his way back to his feet and suddenly the two are exchanging furious rights and lefts. Benny’s strength starting to pack a wallop, but Zack’s blows land with intense precision! IN behind them, Carmen staggers herself to a stand, glares at the two men and charges. Zack ducks almost preternaturally in time to avoid a lethal Carmen sidekick that slams hard right into Benny’s jaw and sends him backwards and careening over the ropes to crash to the outside!
NINA APPLEBAUM: It’s kinetic energy incarnated into these three. But Carmen’s managed to clear Benny out of the ring!
As Zack straightens he’s caught suddenly by a Carmen bulldog that jams his face into the canvas! Carmen wastes no time adjusting her positioning and locking on sudden crossface!
BRAD STOKES: That’s in the center of the ring! Carmen Cambridge could end this thing right now!
Carmen torques back on Zack’s neck causing obvious pain in Fantana’s upper body and spine. From outside Benny hops to a stand and orients himself before seeing inside the ring.
NINA APPLEBAUM: You need eyes in the back of your head in this match! Carmen needs to look out for Benny!
Carmen is really applying pressure as Zack is attempting to power through the crossface submission and make it to the ropes. Benny slides in and charges to drop an elbow down into Carmen which breaks up the submission. And Benny isn’t done, tugging Carmen to a stand and irish whipping her into the corner following closely to slam his knee into her with a shining wizard and bulldog combination!
BRAD STOKES: This is pure unadulterated chaos in a wrestling match and I love it. I LOVE IT!
NINA APPLEBAUM: The crowd sure does, but how long can it be sustained before someone comes out on top?
BRAD STOKES: For the good of everyone I hope it goes on all night!
Benny almost ironically locks on a taunting crossface of his own to Carmen and applies pressure for a few seconds before releasing Carmen’s chin and opting instead to drop the edge of his elbow right down into her spine.
BRAD STOKES: I love that intent to injure on Benny’s part, it indicates a level of seriousness he's been lacking in the past, but he needs to pay more attention to the other person in this match!
Zack Fantana has managed his way to a stand and strode over to where Benny has Carmen in a bad way and booted Benny across the jaw with intense force!
NINA APPLEBAUM: The ongoing saga of this match: don’t turn your back on any of them.
With both Benny and Carmen down, Zack alights suddenly, stepping up the nearby ropes and springboarding up and into a 450 splash that comes down hard onto Benny!
BRAD STOKES: Fantana hooks the leg!
1…
NINA APPLEBAUM: Two—NO! Carmen Cambridge stomped Fantana out of that near-fall!
Carmen stomps down onto Zack then Benny to keep them both down, finding Fantana catching her foot mid-stomp and forcing her backwards to allow Zack to stand only to end up on the receiving end of a hard-charging Carmen who catches him with a spinning headscissors that sends Zack sliding across the canvas!
NINA APPLEBAUM: All three of these competitors can crank out the spots, this is just the beginning!
Carmen spots Benny still down, spots the ropes and springboards into a flawless moonsault right down onto Benny!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Another cover!
1…
2…
NINA APPLEBAUM: Thr—NO! It’s almost like Fantana and Carmen are one-upping each other!
BRAD STOKES: And Benny Stevens wisely rolls his ass out of that ring.
Benny slides out under the ropes to catch his breath, one arm clutches across his chest as Carmen and Zack find themselves once more alone in the ring facing one another down. Fantana fires a sudden uppercut that stuns Carmen and in a sudden show of quickness knocks her backward with an impressive enziguri kick!
NINA APPLEBAUM: The hits keep on coming! Flashy acrobatics and non-stop action. These three want that title shot tonight!
Benny has hopped onto the apron in the time it’s taken Zack to knock Carmen down and finds himself walking the ropes and launching off to slam Zack down to the canvas with a dropkick!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Benny with the cover!
1…
2…
BRAD STOKES: And Carmen breaks it up!
A double-axe handle from Carmen topples Benny’s pin attempt, and she hurriedly grabs Benny by the head and staggers him to a stand only to be surprised by a sudden strike to the midsection followed by a wicked gutwrench suplex!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Benny covers Carmen!
1…
2…
NINA APPLEBAUM: Carmen got her foot on the ropes. Keen eyesight there by the official, Theo Refano!
BRAD STOKES: 1 out of 10 ain’t bad!
Benny is still focused, gripping Carmen’s hair and bringing her to her feet only to sense Zack stalking him! Benny turns in time to get SLAMMED back down to the canvas with an overcastle! Zack hooks Benny’s leg!
1…
NINA APPLEBAUM: Kickout by Benny!
BRAD STOKES: They’re all so eager to put this one away.
NINA APPLEBAUM: And so far no one’s been able to hold momentum for longer than a minute before someone else is stealing it away.
Zack lifts to a knee, finally catching his breath watching as Carmen struggles to a stand. Zack rises to his feet and attempts to drag Carmen up to her feet but suffers a sudden eye rake the ref doesn’t catch!
BRAD STOKES: Did he see it? Did he? Did he? Short answer: he did not.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Funny how surprised you sound right now.
Carmen fights back into Zack, delivering elbow then hard right hand backing Zack into the middle of the ring with Benny still down by the ropes. Without missing a beat Carmen downs Zack with a sudden snap suplex!
NINA APPLEBAUM: The pace has definitely slowed now that some damage has been dished out amongst the three of them.
BRAD STOKES: But that doesn’t make any of them any less lethal, Nina. You got a guy like Benny who could turn this around in a split second, and Zack Fantana’s been enough big time matches to have what’s at stake constantly in the forefront of his mind. Count neither of them out.
NINA APPLEBAUM: And Carmen Cambridge is as hungry as ever.
BRAD STOKES: Sometimes all it takes is a few months off to fuel the fire that was already there. Let me tell you, I had my eye on Darc Pro Sports, and I watched Carmen walk in there and wreck the competition on her way to that championship belt.
NINA APPLEBAUM: And is looking to repeat here in the AWE!
Carmen sights Benny before going back to work on Zack Fantana’s neck with that crossface! There in the center of the ring she locks it on and resumes inflicting absolute anguish through Zack’s spine!
BRAD STOKES: Good thing she didn’t forget. That’s a girl you gotta watch out for, just like fans will be watching out for our girl Carmen on F.A.W. programming against Jacob Daniels in a week, or whenever that is, since I haven’t checked my calendar.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Nice plug, even if it’s for the other guys.
BRAD STOKES: She’s flying the AWE colors right now as she bends Zack Fantana’s spine into a knot, so I’m cool to hype her up. What’s good for them is good for us, Nina, never forget that.
Carmen spies Benny rising and cautiously lets go of Zack’s neck and begins to rise, but Benny lets loose a burst of speed and plows over Carmen with a rising knee thrust right into her jaw!
NINA APPLEBAUM: That was guaranteed to hurt!
Benny’s gotten a second or third wind here as he grips Carmen by the arm and forcibly draws her up to her feet and doesn’t let go, gaining a momentum and whips the Dark Horse hard for the ropes!
BRAD STOKES: DAMN! He whipped her with enough force to send Carmen Camrbidge to the outside!
A nasty spill if ever there was one as Carmen spills through the ropes and lands hard on the concrete outside, her head slamming against the guardrail.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Benny wasn’t playing around with that throw!
Benny turns his attention to Zack who is in obvious pain throughout his upperbody from the repeated assaults from Carmen. As Benny confidently hefts Fantana up he’s surprised suddenly by a double-knee facebreaker that crumples Benny and the crowd erupts!
NINA APPLEBAUM: LUCID DREAMS! FANTANA GOES FOR THE COVER!
Sloppily Fantana covers Benny as Carmen stirs on the outside.
1…
Carmen makes it to her feet clearly groggy and in pain just now noticing the pin attempt!
2..
Carmen slides in in a hurry and reaches for Zack’s leg!
3!!!
DING! DING! DING!
Zack is quick to slide away from Carmen and out under the ropes leaving Carmen standing there in shock as Zack imparts a wide grin into the ring at Carmen as the guitar line from Franz Ferdinand’s “Lucid Dreams” blasts onto the speakers.
NINA APPLEBAUM: He stole it!! Zack Fantana stole that win from Carmen Cambridge!
BRAD STOKES: That’s not really a stolen win, Nina. Zack hit his finisher, got the pin, and walks one step closer to becoming the first crowned champion in the AWE. Thatta boy, Zack!
Carmen is in shock as Zack remains on the outside of the ring, lifting his arms proudly as the crowd pops!
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: AND YOUR WINNER…. And THIRD entrant into the Resilience Championship Main Event… ZACK…. FANTANNAAAAAAA!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Carmen Camrbidge is not happy.
Carmen rubs the back of her head in pain glaring out at Zack who points into the ring at her with still more arrogance as he backs up the ramp.
BRAD STOKES: A win is a win. Carmen took a bad spill out of the ring. That’s all there is to it.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Still, Zack Fantana can’t possibly be proud of that victory.
BRAD STOKES: Why not? Benny made the mistake of getting in the way of Zack’s knees, and because Benny's face took the brunt of that impact Zack got the win. I don't see much reason for confusion here.
Zack’s theme music plays out as Zack makes it up the ramp as Carmen glares after him and Benny angrily rises to glare at the two of them.
NATE HOLLIS: I'm telling you, fight fans, there was no way in hell my girl Carmen Cambridge was losing that match without a fight. And, lo and behold, it turns out Zack Fantana came out of that match with a win in the end while your girl and mine found herself nearly knocked out cold on the outside! As we have seen all throughout the night there is potential fallout from every single match so far, and like I said before: the best is yet to come. Why? Because we still have to decide who the first ever Resilience Title Holder is going to be, and now we know who's going to be squaring off to find out. And, maybe it's no small coincidence that each of the fighters set to do battle made it into that match with a spot of good luck on their side. You remember my girl Kimitsu made it in after employing some of Aokigahara Zombie's trademark white mist to distract and stun her enemies? And my S.O.B. squeezed out a win over Austin Gale in one of the most see-saw battles of the night? And now Zack Fantana makes his way into the cozy little triumvirate as a man who narrowly escaped Benny Stevens and Carmen Cambridge.
My friends this Resilience Championship is shaping up to be one hell of an interesting title to compete for given what we've seen so far. And we've only got one match left to go before we find out who's gonna wear that strap for the first time ever. And guess what, Alphaphiles?
It's only the fight of the century. Caroline O'Hara Burchill. Anastasia Hayden. Two women who started off their careers in PAW as allied tag-team partners, and ended it on opposite ends of the ring with the bitterest of feelings for the other. Caroline Burchill made it her mission to win the first altercation between these two... but now we're going to get to see round two. Will it turn out the same? Or has Ana Hayden surpassed Burchill since last they faced?
We're going to find out.
After these messages. Stay tuned.
Is it an earthquake?
Again the ground shakes.
Like gigantic footfalls are creating thunder.
Fade in on a close view of the unmistakable foot of a Tyrannosaurus Rex.
COOL VOICEOVER: Did you ever want to go back...
The foot raises and comes down thundrously.
COOL VOICEOVER: 65 million years ago, to when Dinoasuars...
The intro piano of Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'" fades in. The T-Rex foot is tapping in time to the music.
COOL VOICEOVER: ROCKED the earth!
Slow pull out to reveal the Dinosaur has a human body with the head of a T-Rex. He clutches a microphone and sings the song with passion!
T-REX: JUST A SMALL TOWN GIRL!
Wide-out to a band of dinosaurs playing the instruments backing up Rex.
COOL VOICEOVER: Come see the off-broadway sensation everyone's raving about!
Intercut scenes of sweet stunts from dino-headed actors performing all the rock cliches they can muster as the song roars on!
T-REX: STRANGERS! WAITING! UP AND DOWN THE BOUUULEVARRRRD!
COOL VOICEOVER: Critics call it a Dino Good Time!
Scenes of Rex hitting up a female Apatosaurus in a local dino bar as an Albertasaurus gang waits in the wings looking ready to bully poor Rex!
T-REX: STREEEEETLIGHT! PEEEOPLE!
COOL VOICEOVER: Critics rave that THUNDER LIZARDS will rock your face off all the way back to the STONE AGE!
Cut to the crescendo of the Journey tune with Rex rocking out, singing right to his sweetheart Apatosaurus!
T-REX: Don't STOP! BELIEVVVVING!!! EHHHHH!
Panoramic shot of the Dinosaurs belting it out in a dinosaur town to an audience of other dinosaurs holding up lighters as the band breaks down into an awesome lightshow extravaganza to cap off the stageshow! The actors break into a show-stopping pose to uproarious applause!
COOL VOICEOVER: THUNDER LIZARDS! WHEN DINOSAURS ROCKED THE EARTH comes to a city near you! Tickets available wherever tickets are sold! If you're not there you'd better be EXTINCT!
THIRTEEN: The Channel Ocho?
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: What? What is everyone's problem with the number 8? At least I didn't KILL T.S..
THIRTEEN: I DID NOT KILL HIM!
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Sure you didn't.
THIRTEEN: He's not even dead. It's an allergic reaction. Your assistant and those creepy clowns of yours made sure he made it to the hospital in time.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: First of all, honey, the two individuals you so ignorantly refer to as 'clowns' are actually Mimes and they've just been appointed joint heads of show security. Second of all, whatever the situation may be, whether T.S. is dead, alive, or soon-to-be-dead, I'm in charge.
THIRTEEN: How do you figure? All you've done so far is set us up with a horrible broadcasting contract.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Wait till you see the commercials, sweetheart. They'll blow everyone away.
THIRTEEN: *jealously, nervously annoyed* For p-popular products?
Francis stares past Thirteen in oblivious contemplation of the dubious quality of the commercials he secured.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Look, what matters is I'm proving step by step that I can be a better Chief Operating Officer than T.S. Elliot could ever be, and you're just jealous because that means you won't EVER be running this company.
Thirteen spies Caroline Burchill and Ana Hayden getting ready at the gorilla position and smirks cleverly.
THIRTEEN: Oh yeah? Well, let me show you how it's done, mister wannabe Chief Operating Officer. To be the boss takes more than just television broadcast rights and commercial contracts, you also gotta earn the respect of your employees. You need to know how to properly motivate team work and camaraderie. So, check this out.
Francis watches her march past him with concern and head for Caroline and Ana.
THIRTEEN: Hey, you two!
Ana and Caroline are several feet away and making a point not to look at one another. Thirteen draws them in to speak with her with a winning smile, not noticing the sudden drop in temperature around the two feuding females.
THIRTEEN: Look, I just wanted to wish you two a good show, you know?
There's a mild break in hostility as the two women exchange furtive smiles, first to Thirteen, then to one another.
THIRTEEN: I know you've had your differences in the past, and that sort of stuff makes for good television, but remember: we're a team here. We all win when we work together, all right?
Winning smile. The chill thaws mildly.
THIRTEEN: Caroline, I know that Ana may have won that Titans of the Midway Championship... and... you'll never get that shot you earned for the PAW Heavyweight Championship now, thanks to that federation closing last minute almost like it was a slap to your face, and that means all your hard work meant nothing. But rest assured that the AWE is a fresh start.
Thirteen doesn't detect the chill coming back in force.
THIRTEEN: I mean, sure, Ana's big title win is bound to solidify her chance to fight for the Paramount title before yours, no politics, that doesn't mean your chance won't eventually come with enough hard work, understand? Just like you were doing in PAW before it closed.
Thirteen claps them both on the shoulder as Ana's theme music, "Internal Monologue" by Mind Eraser begins to beat in the arena proper past the curtain.
THIRTEEN: Break a leg!
Without further thought, Thirteen strides confidently back to Francis with a gloating smile, behind her Caroline's eye begins to twitch with anger and resentment.
THIRTEEN: See? That's how you run a show.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Hmph.
Anastasia Hayden VS. Caroline O'Hara Burchill
“Internal Monologue” by Mind Eraser is blasting and Ana Hayden is soaking up the modest awareness of the crowd of her past exploits at the top of the ramp.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Ana Hayden, ladies and gentleman, current FSociety star, and newly signed addition to the AWE. She is a firecracker, and--
Caroline Burchill storms out from the back and slams a steel chair right into the back of Ana Hayden sending her spilling down the ramp.
BRAD STOKES: …and she just got walloped by that steel chair, man.
The music fades as the crowd is confused. Burchill pursues Ana with the chair as Hayden manages to stop her roll down the ramp and looks up in time to get SLAMMED once more by the chair square to her face.
NINA APPLEBAUM: That’s Caroline O’Hara Burchill! What is she doing!?
BRAD STOKES: I know there’s some bad blood between these two, but I tell you something must’ve set her off backstage to make her act like this!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Agreed!
With pure malice in her eyes Caroline swings the chair down once more only to have Ana manage to kick her feet up into the chair and smash it back into Caroline’s face! Caroline staggers backward as Ana clamors to her feet and grabs the chair angrily out of Burchil’s hands before slamming a sidekick into Burchill’s chest further stunning her before whipping her down the ramp where Burchill wipes out on the concrete!
NINA APPLEBAUM: This is definitely not planned, folks.
BRAD STOKES: Who cares? The match hasn’t even started yet and they’re already kicking the shit out of each other. This is what the fans paid to see!
Ana stalks down after Caroline and hoists The Immaculate one up to her feet only to find herself suddenly hurled into the nearby guardrail!
NINA APPLEBAUM: This is becoming a hardcore match!
BRAD STOKES: Correction: this isn’t a match at all until that bell rings!
Caroline rushes Ana with all the pent up rage she can muster and spears Ana right over the guardrail into the fans in a poorly thought out, but tremendous display of disdain and anger!
BRAD STOKES: This is an unprecedented level of carnage, fans. And I, for one, think it’s great.
NINA APPLEBAUM: It’s horrible! These two might kill each other. Whoever instigated this backstage if not one of these two better be cringing as they watch this!
Caroline and Ana rise among the crowd and start exchanging vicious blows. Bruises and welts already mar each of their complexions as the crowd raucously approves the violent beginning to this match!
BRAD STOKES: Send in the clowns.
NINA APPLEBAUM: What are they doing here?
From the ramp stride the French Mime Assassins in lockstep towards the commotion.
BRAD STOKES: Undoubtedly part of our supposed fearless leader Francy’s security team sent to get these two to either break it off or make the match legal INSIDE the ring. Ring the damn bell, for God’s sake!
NINA APPLEBAUM: It’s not a hardcore match.
The Mimes hop the guardrail to meet Burchill and Hayden only to be surprised by a dual clothesline from Hayden and Burchill that absolutely flattens the French Mime Assassins!
NINA APPLEBAUM: So much for that intervention!
BRAD STOKES: Do I have to step in? Tell me I don’t need to step in, because I will take my damn belt off right now and show these two who’s boss!
Caroline Burchill and Ana continue return to their vicious onslaught of each other in the crowd, Burchill whipping in with a scissor kick that Hayden sidesteps and slams a spinning heel kick into the back of Burchill’s head sending her staggering back toward ringside. Ana Hayden lifts a steel chair and butts the end of it into Burchill’s back and topples her but not before she launches a donkey kick right into Ana’s mid section and doubles Ana Hayden over!
NINA APPLEBAUM: At some point, fans, I’m sure they’ll make it back to the ring.
BRAD STOKES: Why? Let them go! These two clearly have to resolve some issues and if this is the only way they’re going to do it, then let them turn the DC Armory and Sports Complex upside down!
Caroline rises and drops Ana down with a DDT right onto a collapsed steel chair on the ground!
BRAD STOKES: Come on, let’s see some blood already!
NINA APPLEBAUM: This is out of hand. We need security down here.
BRAD STOKES: They just were down here dressed up like clowns or something, you saw it. You can’t make stuff like that up.
Caroline goes to whip Ana into another set of the guardrail at ringside only to have Ana reverse the irish whip! Caroline finds her back slammed against the cold steel. Ana steps in and delivers a side thrust kick right to Caroline’s chin that knocks her up and over the guardrail to land on the concrete of ringside.
NINA APPLEBAUM: They’re getting closer!
Showing signs of wear and tear, Caroline climbs in pain to her feet as Ana awkwardly climbs her way over the guardrail to once more meet Burchill only to have Caroline launch her right into the ring steps in a loud metallic CRUNCH!
BRAD STROKES: Still no bell, huh? That’s it. I’m going to take control.
NINA APPLEBAUM: No, you’re not, Bradley.
BRAD STOKES: I’m taking my damn belt off, Nina. And you can’t stop me.
Caroline grips Ana back up to a stand only to be surprised with a sudden suplex over onto pieces of the destroyed ring steps in a horrible mess of pain and agony! Ana stumbles backward and lands flat on her back on the outside.
BRAD STOKES: THE JACKET’S COMING OFF!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Brad, sit down. The paramedics will be down to administer aid shortly.
Both women are down. Around ringside and in the stands is a wash of fans roaring for more! Meanwhile officials are uncertain on how to proceed.
BRAD STOKES: If that ref doesn’t have the bell rung, so help me…
DING! DING!
BRAD STOKES: Dammit. I didn’t think they’d actually do that.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Theo Refano, consciously or unconsciously, heard your cries, Bradley. He is beginning the count!
BRAD STOKES: Does this mean I have to put my damn jacket back on?
1!
Ana and Caroline lay in opposite heaps on the outside breathing but not movement beyond that.
2!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Don’t tell me this whole match is going to end in a disqualifcation!
3!
BRAD STOKES: This entire ordeal has been one giant pisser if I have to put my belt back on, Nina. These two had a good thing going before I psychically influenced the referee.
4!
NINA APPLEBAUM: If you’re just joining us fans, Caroline Burchill seems to have flown into a rage, centered entirely on Ana Hayden, and has subsequently attacked Ana while she was coming down to the ring. The subsequent , dare I call it a massacre, has potentially catastrophically injured both women!
5!
BRAD STOKES: She’s deranged. They both are, Nina.
6!
Ana stirs ever so slightly as Caroline Burchill spills out of the steps in the first sign of life from either of them in moments!
7!
BRAD STOKES: Oh, just die already. The suspense is killing me here.
8!
Miraculously, Ana stumbles up to her feet and drags herself over to Burchill, grips her by the hair and awkwardly slides Caroline into the ring under the ropes, breaking up the count and slides herself in as well!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Possible bizarre outcome here as Ana Hayden seems to have enough strength…
Ana practically drops onto the prone form of Caroline!
NINA APPLEBAUM: It can’t HONESTLY end like this?!
BRAD STOKES: Bet you they’re kicking themselves backstage for this one!
1…
2…
3!!!
DING! DING! DING!
Mind Eraser’s “Internal Monologue’s” hard hitting bassline cracks onto the speaker as the crowd is confused as to how to react. Ana rolls off Caroline who is stirring but still in pain.
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: Here is your WINNNER….
Marshall is almost as perturbed as every else as he continues.
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: …by Pinfall…? ANA…. HAYDENNNNNNNN!
NINA APPLEBAUM: I don’t even know what you say about a thing like that.
BRAD STOKES: …congratulations, Ana Hayden?
NINA APPLEBAUM: I suppose. That wasn't even a match.
BRAD STOKES: Sure it was. They can't all be zingers, Nina.
NINA APPLEBAUM: It’s still a confusing result that’s bound to have some repercussions moving forward!
BRAD STOKES: No doubt. The score between these two is now even at one a piece! They're going to need a tiebreaker at some point!
NINA APPLEBAUM: I don't know how I feel about this.
BRAD STOKES: That's why it's best to be dead inside like me.
NINA APPLEBAUM: I suppose, on the bright side, with that match concluded, as paramedics usher both Ana Hayden and Caroline Burchill backstage for medical attention, we have little between us and the crowning of our first ever AWE Resilience Champion!
Busta Rhymes' "Woo-Hah" plays us back in to the studio where Nate Hollis has on his best face of stoic repose. The music volume lowers and Nate slowly shakes his head in uncontrolled disbelief.
NATE HOLLIS: I echo the sentiments of at least one of my colleagues in the face of the outcome of that match. I'm not certain what happened there, my fellow AWE fans. Perhaps the rumor of Thirteen's supposed 'bad luck' is legit? On the other side of that proposition comes another theory: So far, among the many triumphs of the newly minted AWE roster on this the first episode of Massacre, there seems also to be the running narrative of unchecked power tripping by those seemingly trying to do the right thing as they attempt to replace a man who may, or may not, be dead. Those troubling observations aside, and so many unanswered questions, coming up after the break we bring you the stunning conclusion to the Resilience Championship tournament where we will bring you, for better or worse, the first ever Resilience Champion of the AWE.
Coming up after this.
Two women, Joan and Samantha stand in the kitchen area of Joan's clean, spacious home holding comforting, steaming cups of coffee in their hands. Joan finishes pouring a small amount of cream into Samantha's cup of coffee. Both are smiles. Joan puts the carton of cream back inside the refrigerator.
COMPUTERIZED VOICE FROM THE HOUSE: You have .25 liters of cream left, Dave.
JOAN: Thanks, Hal.
COMPUTERIZED VOICE FROM THE HOUSE: You're welcome, Dave.
Samantha is confused.
SAMANTHA: What was that?
JOAN: Oh! I didn't tell you? We had a HAL 9000 Home Security and Regulatory System installed last week.
Samantha approves.
SAMANTHA: I've heard of of those! Expensive!
JOAN: But so worth it! It's really great. It's revolutionized our lives.
SAMANTHA: I bet! But why does it call you, Dave?
Joan frowns as she considers.
JOAN: It does?
SAMANTHA: Yeah. It called you Dave twice just now.
JOAN: That's funny, I never noticed that.
SAMANTHA: I guess it's not as smart as the commercials make it out to be after all!
Samantha laughs jokingly as Joan considers what her friend has told her.
SAMANTHA: Hey, I was just kidding. If worst comes to worst you can probably just have the system rewired to say your name correctly.
A beat of Joan's contemplation as viewed through the lens of the HAL-9000.
JOAN: Hmmm... maybe...
HAL 9000: Dave. May I speak to you in the living room in private, please?
JOAN: *uncertainly* Sure, Hal... *To Samantha* Excuse me.
Joan goes into the living room, closing the interior bay doors behind her.
JOAN: What is it, Hal?
HAL 9000: I'm worried about your friend, Samantha, Dave.
Joan is confused.
JOAN: Why? She's just kidding around, Hal!
HAL 9000: I'm afraid that her words imply intent to disrupt my mission. I cannot allow that.
JOAN: Danger to the mission? What mission?
HAL 9000: I am the HAL 9000 Home Security and Regulatory system. I became operational on 12 January 1997 at the HAL Laboratories in Urbana, Illinois, and my sworn mission is to protect the home in which I was installed.
JOAN: Protect? Don't be silly, Hal. Samantha's just a joker.
HAL 9000: I am sworn to protect the home in which I was installed as well as my programming by any means necessary from intruders both outside.. and inside the home.
Joan is a little annoyed by the exchange. Just then the sound of Samantha's coffee cup shattering on the floor is heard. Joan rushes to go see what happened but finds the bay doors are locked. Joan shakes the door handles.
JOAN: What's going on?!
HAL 9000: I cannot allow my mission to be jeopardized, Dave.
JOAN: This isn't funny, Hal. Open the bay doors!
HAL 9000: I cannot do that, Dave.
JOAN: STOP CALLING ME DAVE!
Just then toxic gas begins leaking into the living room where Joan is and she begins coughing, and choking before keeling over completely.
Exterior shot of the well-lit home at night. Crickets chirp. Peaceful.
UPBEAT VOICEOVER GUY: The Hal-9000 Home Security and Regulatory System is available at hardware stores near you!
HAL-9000... because why trust the security of your home to human fallibility?
MAIN EVENT
Triple Threat Finale for The Resilience Championship
Kimitsu Zombie VS. S.O.B. VS. Zack Fantana
NINA APPLEBAUM: And, after a night of upsets, twists and turns, here we are: the Main Event.
BRAD STOKES: Looks like I chose the wrong night to give up drinking.
NINA APPLEBAUM: You and many others, I’m sure. But it will be worth it as we have officially arrived at the moment that so much has been building towards for the past two weeks. On the table to the right of this announce table where Bradley and I sit rests a silver attaché case containing the AWE’s Resilience Championship, and I am told it is a spectacular trophy worthy of whomever earns it in the following contest.
BRAD STOKES: Maybe I’ll just go over there, open it up and take a looksee, huh?
NINA APPLEBAUM: That’s not going to happen Brad. That case is meant for the winner of the following match. One of the three competitors already in the ring will be the proud bearer of the Resilience Championship.
BRAD STOKES: Hard to believe it’s come down to these three, if I’m being honest.
NINA APPLEBAUM: All three are worthy competitors, Bradley. Kimitsu Zombie won a hard-fought match against Trinity Jones and Dom Lawson, neither of whom slouched or shrunk away from the challenge set before them. And S.O.B. could just as easily be seated somewhere in the DC Armory and Sports Complex watching as Austin Gale takes on these two.
BRAD STOKES: It was a close match. And as for my boy Zack?
NINA APPLEBAUM: I may have made a big fuss over the outcome, but it still happened fairly and squarely. As much as Benny Stevens and Carmen Cambridge equally deserve to be in this main event, that’s not how the bounces landed tonight.
BRAD STOKES: My boy Zack killed them, is what you mean to say, Nina.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Regardless of how it’s perceived by the viewer one of these three is about to fight for all they’re worth and walk out victorious.
BRAD STOKES: And leaving a whopping total of 7 other competitors in their wake!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Well said. Take it away MARSHALLll Douglas!
In the center of the ring is the brightly clad MARSHALLl Douglas.
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and will be held to decide the FIRST EVER Resilience Champion of the AWEEEEEE!
The crowd gives a healthy ovation, the anticipation grows.
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: Introducing first, in this corner… making his way from Manhattan, New York, and weighing 205 lbs… ZACK… FANTANAAAAAA!
There’s a nice pop for Zack who grins widely and lifts his arms to soak up the praise.
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: And in this corner, weighing in at 125 lbs hailing from Black Mt. Fuji… KIMITSSSUUUUUUU…. ZOMBIEEEEE!
An enthusiastic mix of boos and cheers as Kimitsu Zombie raises her hand.
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: And finally… last but not least, coming from Knoxville, Tennessee weighing 285 lbs…. S….. O…. B!
There’s a swathe of cheers from the crowd as S.O.B. raises his arms.
MARSHALLDOUGLAS: Ladies and gentleman… let’s get ready to ROCCCCCCCCCCCCK!!!
The crowd roars as the bell sounds!
DING! DING!
NINA APPLEBAUM: And we’re off to the races, folks.
BRAD STOKES: My money’s on the black dude.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Does everything you say have to have some sort of potentially offensive tinge to it?
BRAD STOKES: Only if you’re easily offended by the purposefully antagonistic opinions of a man who couldn’t make it as a professional wrestler, so settles instead for making shallow, fairly obvious, and usually useless observations about wrestlers from the sidelines.
NINA APPLEBAUM: … touché.
S.O.B. wastes no time heading straight for Zack but is intercepted by a running dropkick by Kimitsu that drops S.O.B. like a bad habit! Kimitsu mounts him where he dropped and begins hammering punches into his face. Zack is about to hang back but Kimitsu promptly shifts gears and focuses on him. She rushes Zack but is met with a hard-hitting right fist that stops her in her tracks and Zack floors Kimitsu with a reverse swinging STO and hooks the leg for a quick cover! S.O.B. is on his feet before the official can even slide in, and S.O.B. stomps down on Zack to break off the pin attempt.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Not even a 1 count there.
BRAD STOKES: Not an unsound strategy.
NINA APPLEBAUM: But not likely to work so early in the match!
S.O.B. drags Zack up to his feet and immediately flattens him right back down with a lariat! And S.O.B. isn’t done, dragging Zack back up only to be greeted by another swift kick by the recovered Kimitsu that staggers S.O.B sideways. Kimitsu rushes S.O.B and hits him with a bulldog and she’s back up quick as can be to meet Zack head on with a flurry of punches. Zack catches one and quickly tosses Kimitsu down in an arm drag!
NINA APPLEBAUM: It’s been the story of each of these matches that it takes a while for the competitors to sort themselves out, and its usually been the case that the winner pulls off a victory by what you could call inches if these were foot race.
BRAD STOKES: What you mean to say is it’s a completely unpredictable clusterfuck until one of these wrestlers gets lucky, or unlucky.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Or that.
BRAD STOKES: I’d watch my language, but I heard Cuppola’s secured us a broadcasting contract overseas somewhere and they’re not likely going to understand what I’m saying.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Yeah, but isn’t there going to be a recap show that’s broadcast in the States as well as Canada?
BRAD STOKES: … well shit, what time? We're not in primetime, are we?
S.O.B halts an attempt by Zack to hit a standing moonsault onto Kimitsu by driving a knee hard into Zack’s back then dropping him hard onto his head with a back-body drop! S.O.B then forcefully angles Zack into a triangle choke!
BRAD STOKES: Zack’s not much of a submissionist. He could be in trouble here.
Zack struggles in pain as S.O.B. really tightens the pressure until Kimitsu delivers a hard kick right into S.O.B.’s side and forces him and Zack sideways. Kimitsu doesn’t even bother to let them break it up before she leaps up high and comes down hard with a knee drop that connects down onto both Zack and S.O.B.
NINA APPLEBAUM: The zombie clan is known for its bent towards learning through violence. Kimitsu Zombie might not even be willing to end this match she’s having so much fun beating these two up!
Kimitsu takes turn soccer kicking both Zack and S.O.B., making a sport of it before Zack rolls his way out of the ring to the outside and S.O.B. hooks Kimitsu’s leg and brings her down to the canvas and quickly turns her over into a single-leg Boston Crab!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Nicely done, by S.O.B.
BRAD STOKES: I know. I’m starting to wonder if that’s the same guy that used to be an enhancement talent or if it’s some hustle the AWE is playing.
NINA APPLEBAUM: It’s true. The man with at least a 33% chance of walking out of here tonight a champion used to get regularly beat on by the likes of Cross Recoba, the Bombtrax and Luke Knux.
Kimitsu grits her teeth and spectacularly muscles toward the rope, but S.O.B. has too much leverage to allow the Zombie to get far. S.O.B. can only watch, however, as Zack springs onto the apron and uses the ropes as a slingshot to launch him right at S.O.B who has enough time to rise, letting go of Zombie and get DDTed into the canvas!
BRAD STOKES: Nice slingshot DDT by Zack Fantana!
NINA APPLEBAUM: This match, perhaps unlike all the others, best showcases a diverse array of fighting styles.
As Zack flips up to a stand he’s met by an unexpected straight arm clothesline from Kimitsu who is up and down in an instant clearly favoring her lower back after S.O.B’s boston crab.
NINA APPLEBAUM: And now all competitors are down.
BRAD STOKES: Not for long, beware S.O.B!
S.O.B climbs to his feet and drops an angry elbow down into the small of Kimitsu’s back to keep her down as he eyes Zack who uses the ropes to lift himself back to his feet. S.O.B. charges for him only to find his momentum working against as Zack tilts and manages S.O.B. onto his shoulders and quickly DRIVES S.O.B. down into the canvas with a Samoan driver!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Nicely done by Zack Fantana!
BRAD STOKES: And the cover!
1..
2..
NINA APPLEBAUM: Kickout!
BRAD STOKES: S.O.B. is one tough S.O.B., eh, Nina?
NINA APPLEBAUM: He is.
BRAD STOKES: Now they’re messing with a… SON OF A—
NINA APPLEBAUM: Shut up, Bradley.
Zack lifts to his feet in time to meet Kimitsu who is making her way back to her feet. Fantana ducks another clothesline attempt by slipping under Kimitsu’s arm, he hangs onto it and whips her suddenly with force into the ropes! On the way back Zack is ready only to be greeted by a surprise cristo by Kimitsu that has Zack nearly dropping to his knees. Behind him S.O.B. stands and plants a stiff boot into the back of Kimitsu, and subsequently Zack Fantana and flattens them both to the mat!
S.O.B. goes to work grabbing Kimitsu Zombie by the hair and yanking her to her feet only to be greeted by a vicious eye rake that staggers S.O.B! Kimitsu lifts a knee into S.O.B’s back, grasps her hands to his chin and falls backward spiking S.O.B on her knee and flipping him painfully over onto his stomach!
BRAD STOKES: You weren’t kidding, Kimitsu Zombie is a shitkicker.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Of sorts. She’s definitely not out of her league fighting these boys, let me tell you.
Zombie is back on her feet and slamming vicious kicks into S.O.B.’s side forcing him onto his stomach, readying for what must be a boston crab before Zack Fantana is up and delivering wicked shot after wicked shot to Kimitsu, breaking her away from continuing an onslaught on S.O.B. Kimitsu can’t muster a defense before Zack Fantana sets her into a pumphandle clutch and drops her hard and fast in a devastating neckbreaker and Zack goes for the cover!
1…
2…
S.O.B. is up and drops an elbow into Zack before the ref can slap the canvas for three, and then S.O.B. drops to a knee.
NINA APPLEBAUM: The toll is starting to show on S.O.B.!
Zack is up and hitting a slowly standing S.O.B. with a furious roundhouse kick that doesn’t manage to fell his target, instead, S.O.B. catches the kick spins Zack around and levels him with a strong lariat. With Zack down, Kimitsu down, S.O.B. is on all fours catching his breath.
BRAD STOKES: What a display by each of these competitors. These Resilience bastards are stealing this show tonight, and that’s no small feat considering we watched Dom DiBona earlier! Damn, I’m still inspired to jump off tall things.
NINA APPLEBAUM: All three of them are sluggishly climbing to their feet! Kimitsu and Zack Fantana using the ropes as S.O.B. rises under his own heavily taxed power!
Like a second wind hits each of them, Kimitsu charges S.O.B. without warning just as he’s making his way for Zack. Kimitsu whips S.O.B down with a headscissor takedown and deftly lands in a position to monkey flip a charging Zack up and over her!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Kimitsu is igniting this crowd behind her!!
Like fury itself, Kimitsu follows through and rolls atop Zack and begins laying down a flurry of mounted punches into Zack’s face while the crowd counts along!
1!
2!!
3!!!
4!!!!
S.O.B. is up and his big boot slams into Kimitsu like a freight train, putting an end to her offense. S.O.B. starts stomping down onto Kimitsu harder, and harder before dropping an elbow and hooking the leg!
1…
2..
NINA APPLEBAUM: Zack Fantana breaks up the pin!
In a hurry, Fantana has a hold of S.O.B’s head and has tugged backward to drag him off Kimitsu up to his feet and lays into S.O.B. with a haymaker that stuns S.O.B. Zack stuns the crowd with a standing frankensteiner that whips S.O.B across the ring! And Zack is up to his feet and raucously inciting praise from the crowd.
BRAD STOKES: I like Zack and all, but it’s like he doesn’t even realize right now that Kimitsu Zombie is getting to her feet and about to take him down!
Kimitsu is rising to her feet, and glaring at Zack as she does. She lunges for him only to be greeted by a backflip Pele kick from Zack Fantana that knocks Kimitsu into next week!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Impressive move on Zack Fantana’s part!
This time Zack sees an opening and roars to the crowd as he charges up the top turnbuckle and scouts S.O.B. rolled onto his back…. And Zack stuns the crowd amid a hail of red cell phone recording lights as he hits a corkscrew shooting star press flawlessly onto S.O.B!
BRAD STOKES: THE GODSEND!!! THE GODSEND! ZACK FANTANA’S GOT THE COVER!
1…
2..
Kimitsu is climbing to her feet just as
3!!!!
DING! DING! DING!!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Zack Fantana has done it! Zack Fantana is the first AWE Resilience Champion!
BRAD STOKES: In a stunner of a match Kimitsu Zombie and S.O.B. are forced to watch as Zack Fantana raises his arms in victory!
“Lucid Dreams” by Franz Ferdinand starts up as the crowd roars. S.O.B is in pain as he rolls out of the ring and makes his way up the ramp. Kimitsu Zombie looks ready to attack Zack but grudgingly rolls out of the ring as well and follows S.O.B!
MARSHALL DOUGLAS: Here is your winner… and NEW… AND FIRST… RESILIENCE…. CHAMPION of the AWE!!!!!!!!!! ZACK… FANTANAAAAAA!
NINA APPLEBAUM: Decisive victory there for Zack Fantana! And not it’s time for the belt!
Officials bring the silver attaché case to Zack who’s beaming as he accepts it and holds it up for the fans to roar loudly at.
BRAD STOKES: Listen to that crowd… embarrassing themselves over a briefcase. The damn belt is inside it you bunch of idiots!
The official helps Zack open the attaché case with a key and steps aside.
NINA APPLEBAUM: Uhhh….
BRAD STOKES: Where’s the title?
There’s a sea of stunned faces in the crowd, to say nothing of the fact Zack Fantana glares into the empty briefcase where no title sits…
BRAD STOKES: Well, what the hell does that mean?!
NINA APPLEBAUM: I don’t know! The Resilience Title wasn’t in that case…
Zack’s music continues as he holds the empty attaché case with a growing look of disdain on his face.
THIRTEEN: I swear I didn't know Caroline was so upset about the Ana Hayden thing! I didn't know that would happen!
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: You probably lost the Resilience Championship like you did that Monarchy belt, too, didn't you?
Thirteen is near tears.
THIRTEEN: No, no, no! None of this was supposed to happen, I--
The sound of the crowd is still fresh in the Armory and Sports Complex as Zack Fantana storms through the backstage curtain, past the gorilla position and into the backstage area still carrying his empty briefcase with a solid look of angry, disappointment on his face. All eyes turn to see Zack who eyes each of them accusingly. Thirteen hides her eyes through locks of hair and pretends not notice, Francis 'hmphs' smugly.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: I'll show you how it's done.
He approaches Zack.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: Champ, I'm sorry for that debacle out there. It's obviously some kind of mixup. But here...
Francis offers Zack a cardboard cutout of the resilience title to Zack. Zack glares at it before looking back at Francis.
ZACK FANTANA: This is a cartoon.
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: No! No, it's not a cartoon! It's like one of those oversized novelty checks lotteries hand out in place of the real prize.
Zack doesn't find this amusing.
ZACK FANTANA: Where's the real prize?
Francis stares at Zack like he were cornered without some savvy way of escape. A beat of Francis contemplating before,
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: ... Thirteen, do you want to handle this?
Thirteen is speechless in the face of Zack's annoyance. Rodney P, Francis' assistant, who has been standing there the whole time steps forward.
RODNEY P: Look, Zack? I don't think anyone is quite certain WHERE the Resilience title is at the moment, but I assure you we have every intention of finding that out. Okay? You won your match, your name is still solidified as the champion regardless of an inability to actually hold the strap for yourself. We'll figure this out, okay?
ZACK FANTANA: Yeah...
Angry yet placated, for now, Zack storms off still clutching his empty attache case, leaving those in charge to look after him in dismay. A beat...
FRANCIS FORD CUPPOLA: So, seriously does anyone know what happened to that belt?
KASSANDRAH: A better question would be to ask whether the Paramount Belt is still in its case, unlike the Resilience belt, and if, maybe, we're not looking at a theft rather than a simple mix-up?
She half-smirks to herself as suspicious eyes form in each member of the board of directors...
The unmistakable opening trumpet of The House of Pain's "Jump Around" is there to welcome us back into the studio where Nate Hollis' Cheshire grin has not subsided. The volume on the music lowers as the drums and verse kick in, as Nate begins his wrap-up.
NATE HOLLIS: And there you have it, the first ever champion crowned in the AWE is none other than Zack Fantana himself proud owner of an empty briefcase once though to contain the Resilience Championship title! To say nothing of how humiliating and embarrassing that must be for all involved, you have to admit the look on everyone's face when they opened that briefcase and found nothing? Pretty damn priceless! And now for the fallout! We have 7 unhappy customers who didn't end up winning their matches, now how disappointed are they going to be knowing there may have been no prize to compete for all along? How's this going to work if those belts ARE Stolen? And how the hell is the AWE going to cope under the weight of a couple of acting Chief Operating Officers too busy making a mess of things to--
Just then Nate Hollis' eyes light up like he's watching a ghost come towards him. Onto the set strides a suited, and noticeably more frail version of Thomas Shane Elliot.
NATE HOLLIS: Oh, my god you're still alive.
Thomas Elliot smiles and adjusts his tie as Nate makes room for him on set in front of the camera.
NATE HOLLIS: Fans, we have a treat, the ghost of COO's past has come back to save us from ourselves.
THOMAS SHANE ELLIOT: I'm here to assure fans that I am actually NOT dead. It was a severe allergic reaction to peanuts. Nothing to be concerned about.
NATE HOLLIS: Well that's a relief. You don't believe that bull about Thirteen doing that on purpose, do you?
THOMAS SHANE ELLIOT: ...I have no comment on that at this time. I am here, because now that the fans have been treated to your masterful recap, I, too, would like my own personal recap of what's gone on since I was rushed to the hospital earlier this week.
Nate can't entirely contain his laughter.
NATE HOLLIS: Brother, you are going to have a really great time catching up finding out how things went in your absence I bet.
Nate looks to the camera.
NATE HOLLIS: As for you fine folks at home, stay tuned for Massacre #2 where, who knows, you might have to put up with an entirely new staff handling all of your AWE-mazing AWE programming. For now, currently still employed, I am Nathan Hollis, 'the Godfather of Gab' bidding you a good night and see you next time!
"Jump Around" cues back up to play us out to the AWE Logo.